


Written In The Stars

by TheOrgasmicSeke



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst, Ashen Romance | Auspistice, Birthday Fluff, Birthday Party, Blood Fetish, Blood Kink, Blood and Gore, Bulges and Nooks, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Christmas, Circus, Clowns, Cuddling & Snuggling, Demi Karkat, Emotional Roller Coaster, Epic Battles, Fablestuck, Family Bonding, Festivals, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Gardens & Gardening, Gun Violence, Heavy Petting, Human Casey, Injury Recovery, Love Confessions, M/M, Magic, Making Out, Murder, Original Character(s), Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Quadrant Confusion, Quadrant Vacillation, Revolution, Slavery, Slight Mention of Rape, Slow Burn, Snow, Sparring, Spring, Swordfighting, Valentine's Day, Violence, Weddings, Wet Dream, Winter, a pinch of windicuffs, allow me to break your heart, and put it back together again, animal hunting, baby stuff, big old happy family, dave and karkat are jealous butts, emotional stuff, high-blood rage, i break my own heart, i twist the quadrants just a bit to fit, john bleeds a lot, karkat has a really filthy mouth, karkat's a jealous idiot, kids being cute kids, mention of masturbation, nook play, one-sided blackrom, pale gamkar, pale karkri, pale things, sexual orientation talk, some physical violence, sugary fluffy goodness, transgender character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-09
Updated: 2015-09-29
Packaged: 2018-02-03 23:40:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 24
Words: 308,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1759839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheOrgasmicSeke/pseuds/TheOrgasmicSeke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You are the piece of me, I didn't know I'd need."</p><p>A new era has fallen upon Albion with a new brand of Heroes. John is at the center with a troll whose come along to fill the emptiness in his heart, even if he doesn't quite realize it at first. He falls through the strange quadrants of trolls before landing ass backwards right where he was meant to be all along.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Adventure Begins

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Yes, look at me, writing another chapter fic. But you see, there's something special about this. Remember my Ermein fic, Whispers In The Dark? Well, I loved writing that and it was quite popular so I thought, why not do something a little similar with my favorite pairing from Homestuck? And here we are. The kids of Homestuck thrown into the world of Fable, the video games. My plan is for this story to be a super long(long for me anyway) slow development kinda story where John goes through all four quadrants with Karkat. With some battles and stuff thrown in. I'm really excited about this AU to be honest. I absolutely love the Fable games. It all just fit so nicely together!
> 
> Okay, so here's a few warnings for you. First off, things have changed. I've messed with the Fable universe and the Homestuck one as well. The ages for the kids are off and different and this takes place a good 70-80 years after the events of Fable 3. You do not have to of played the games to read this either. I like to think I explain the fable universe pretty well. If you have any questions just hit me up on my [tumblr](http://the-orgasmic-seke.tumblr.com/). Second, as I said, this is a slow development kinda thing but I promise it will end with John and Karkat as lovers and yes expect some sexy stuff later on. Third, a few characters are a bit OOC. Jake being the main one. I apologize for that. I took away his way of speaking for the simple fact that he grew up in a much different place than he did canonly. I hope that makes sense.
> 
> I'll add warnings as the chapters come along.
> 
> Well, Enjoy! 
> 
> Also inspired by [this](http://youtu.be/Z31OkMlf1TM)

Albion was a large country with happy citizens, large beautiful forests, sparkling lakes and growing villages and towns. It was a country that had been through more than most. A country that survived Jack of Blades, the Spire and even a revolution. Hundreds of Thousands of people lost their lives over the span of Albion, but one would not know that if they were to visit. The people of Albion were happy, simple folk. They'd survived hell and they sure weren't going to dwell in the past.

After the revolution almost fifty years ago, trade opened with Aurora, a far off land full of sand and beautiful people. Albion grew so much more after that. Industry grew tenfold and the land reflected as such. There were some who thought the land would not appreciate the industry, the change, but were soon surprised when the land reflected the changes.

For such a very long time, Albion's population of heroes was brought down to only one after the guild was destroyed. A child that appeared from now where with the abilities of a hero never thought possible after so long. A child that grew to be king and birth a hero of their own. A hero that grew to take over the crown from his brother and save all of Albion, and Aurora, from the Crawler. A hero that was alone with his crown for a long while.

And then the land reflected the growth of a nation. Years passed and heroes began to emerge. Not many, only a few. But enough. Enough to change a nation. The old king had grown old and tired, unable to protect his country like he once had. So the land compensated for that. Slowly, eight heroes came to exist in the world of Albion and Aurora. Eight strong and powerful heroes. More powerful than their predecessors with powers never thought to exist before.

The first thing to be noted about the new brand of hero was their lack of aging. In the beginning of their lives, they grew as a normal child till they reached the age of twenty. And then it was almost as if their bodies decided it was time to stop growing and stop aging. No one knew if they were immortal of just incapable of aging after a certain age. Either way, the people of Albion had no complaints. They had heroes once again who could protect them. There was nothing more they could ask.

The first, and the oldest at a good age of Thirty-five, was Dirk Strider. A tall, lithe blonde with eyes the color of an evening sunset. He was a skilled swordsman almost from the moment he was born. Still a baby and wielded a sword like a knight. As all the heroes were found to be, he was found alone in the forest near Oakfield as if he was born from the land itself. It was thought to be the way the new brand of hero came to be. As Dirk grew, so did his powers. The ability to control them came as easy to him as breathing. It wasn't long before people began to realize he was a hero.

When he was only the age of around thirteen, his adoptive parents brought him to Bowerstone, in hopes of meeting the aging hero king and find out if their child was in fact a hero. Their hopes were confirmed when Dirk was able to perform a spell before the aging king. A spell that brought tears to the kings eyes for he had thought the hero line would die with him since none of his children showed to have it. Dirk Strider brought hope to the people of Albion.

The second hero, Roxy Lalonde was only a few years younger than Dirk. She was discovered just as he was. A young baby lost in the forest and found by a traveling merchant who heard her cries. The merchant brought Roxy to Bowerstone, where she was taken in by the Lalonde's, a couple who honestly thought they would never have children. She was a blessing. A beautiful blessing. With blonde hair, vibrantly pink eyes and soft white skin. She grew into a beautiful woman, who remained her youth after the age of twenty. She specialized more in magic, though she wasn't bad with a pistol either.

The third hero, a hero not thought to exist to Albion until later in his youth, was Jake English. A naturally dark-skinned male found in the sand dunes of Aurora. He was raised in Aurora, taking in their culture as his own though he always knew he was not one of them. Not with his vibrantly green eyes and large muscular stature. Even his hair the color of a moonless night did not match that of the Auroran people. But Jake adopted their peaceful ways as his own until the sand furries came to attack. It was then he learned of his powers and his pinpoint skill with a pistol. There was no denying what he was after that. He was the Hero of Aurora and they felt exceptionally lucky to have him.

The fourth hero, found in the forests of Mispeak and raised by the baker in Brightwall, was Jane Crocker. With dark hair, pale blue eyes and skin the color of the freshly fallen snow of the mountains, Jane was a blessing to the baker. She was raised in Brightwall, focusing on her skills as a baker and never thought to use the strange powers flowing through her until Brightwall was attacked by mercenaries. With the threat of her mother being killed, she let the crackling power within her go. She saved a lot of lives that day. She discovered that not only did she have magical powers, but those powers could be put to use healing. Even bringing the dead back to life. She had a gift. A powerful gift that she decided to keep to herself.

For a good fifteen years, no more heroes seemed to come from the land. There was a span of time where the land rested, allowing those that had been born from it to grow. Albion had no complaints on this matter. They were happy to have their three heroes and Aurora was happy to have their one. It was a small country after all. Jake was all they needed.

And then Rose came along. The first baby found in the forests for a very long time. She was found just outside the forests of Bower Lake and taken to the Lalonde's for the simple fact that they had taken in a young baby from the woods once before and were the closest family to Bower Lake. Rose became a Lalonde, raised more so by Roxy than the aging villagers that were their parents. With the help of Roxy, Rose came to discover the powers within her. Like her older sister, Rose specialized in magic. A special brand of magic, the same purple as her beautiful eyes. She bore the same blonde hair and pale skin as her sister. Though they looked the same, they were more different than alike. They complimented each other however, and Bowerstone was happy to have another hero.

The sixth hero, Jade Harely, came only a year or so after Rose. A naturally tanned girl found in the sands of Aurora by Jake English himself. Immediately, he knew who she was and what she would become so he took her in himself. He raised her in the same way he was raised, with the culture of the Auroran people. Jade came to be as skilled with a gun as her brother but her real talent laid in magic. From a very young age she had the ability to transport herself from one place to another. As she grew, she learned she could transport just about anything as well. It was a useful skill that she kept in check.

The seventh hero was found by Dirk. A baby found in the same forest he was. A baby with the same stricking blonde hair and eyes such a color of blood red they left Dirk speechless. He took the pale child in, named him Dave and taught him how to be a Strider. Dave specialized in swords, like his brother. They strifed daily and it wasn't long until the two of them were equally matched. But where Dirk was skilled in mechanics, Dave was skilled in time. He couldn't control time completely, but he could stop it, spin it, work with it in a way never thought possible. Dave grew to be a Strider that Dirk was proud of and once Dave was old enough, the two left Oakfield behind to travel Albion together as heroes.

The eighth and last hero was the strangest of them all. He was not discovered by anyone for quite a long time. A child forced to have the land take care of him and take care it did. Raised by wolves in the forests of Mourningwood until he was discovered by a soldier at the age of about seven. The child was wild then but quickly took to human life after being taken in by the troop of soldiers. Given the name John Egbert, the child was raised in the military. Raised to fight the hollowmen from a very young age. It wasn't long before the soldiers realized the child had abilities inhuman. He was a sharpshooter, a master with a blade and his ability to fly just about threw them for a loop. The soldiers took John to Bowerstone, where the Lalonde's then took him under their wing.

Now nineteen, John had come to control his flying abilities and preferred to use his magic over anything else he was skilled at. Rose and Roxy taught him all they could before the boy ventured into his own brand of magic. Though Rose had the ability to levitate, John was seemingly the only one with the ability to actually fly with the wind and even control it to some sort of degree. Every hero was unique in their own way and had met one another at least once in their life time thanks to Jade's transporting ability.

The eight heroes were friends, great friends, who protected the land of Albion and Aurora together. Each was unique, holding their own skills and powers that complimented one another and the land. Albion and Aurora were proud of their heroes, grateful to have them but there were whispers. Why would eight heroes come from the land? There had to be a reason behind it. There were whispers something was coming. Something big. And even if it was, Albion was ready. The eight heroes were ready to protect the land they loved.

* * *

It was a day like any other. The air was slighty warm in the city of Bowerstone, proving that summer was not far away. John didn't mind. He enjoyed the feel of a warm breeze and the scents that it carried along with it. Bowerstone market was busy as always, people hurrying about to carry out their errands before dinner time. Children ran about, playing all kinds of games that brought a smile to John's slightly tanned skin. Children always reminded him of his youth. Of growing up with wolves and their pups. Times he would never truly forget and that he was thankful for. Even though he had been alone for the beginning of his life, the wolves never allowed him to feel truly alone. He was thankful for them.

"John dear!" The raven haired male tilted his head in the direction of the call of his name, adjusting his path to move toward the older woman beside a wooden stand with freshly made pies sitting out.

"Betty!" John called with a soft smile, his lips curling over front teeth that were just a little too large for his mouth. He'd grown into them handsomely and they were rather charming. The ladies in town certainly thought so. "How are you today?" He asked, his voice a light rumble at the age of nineteen.

"Lovely!" The older woman, with grey hair and a wrinkled smile, turned to grab one of her pies. "I was hoping to see you today."

"Well, I know today's the day you come allllll the way from Brightwall to sell your pies soooo maybeeeee I was hoping to see you too!" He stated with a grin, feeling light-hearted at the way the older woman smiled at him.

"That's my boy." She turned back around with a pie in her hands, wrapped in a checkered cloth. "I made this one especially for you. I do hope you'll share it with Rose and Roxy." She passed off the pie to John who took it with a grateful smile.

"Roxy's off with Jane but I'll be sure to share with Rose. Jake and Jade are supposed to be by soon as well, so I'm sure they'll be happy to have a slice. Best pies in the country after all!" He cradled the pie against his chest as he grinned at the slightly blushing woman.

"Ah, that's where that girl went off to." Betty smiled, folding her hands behind her back. "Sometimes she never even bothers to tell me where she's going off to."

"Yeah, Roxy just mentioned something about a girls outing before she left." He shrugged.

"Is there a reason Jake and Jade are coming?" She asked, curious as always. She had raised Jane so in a way, John felt the woman to be a part of his family.

"Jake and I have a trip planned. We're going off into the forests near Oakfield. There's talk of Hobbes taking children again, so we're going to go take care of them."

"Oh dear." Betty's eyes widened slightly, a faint look of horror crossing her face. "That sounds terrible. I do hope you take care of them. Those poor children."

John nodded, a slight frown crossing his handsome features. "I haven't been to Oakfield in years. Not since we went to visit the Striders when they still called that place home. Jake's certainly excited. He wants to explore after we've taken care of the Hobbes."

Betty's hazel eyes widened slightly. "Explore? The forests around Oakfield? Are they not close to former Alternia?"

John nodded, shifting the warm pie in his hands. "That's why he wants to explore them. He wants to see the old ruins of a fallen country, or something like that." He shrugged, sticking his tongue out the side of his mouth slightly as he grinned. "I don't mind really. Gives me a chance to fly."

Betty glanced over when a customer arrived, looking over her pies. So John took that as his cue to leave. He gave the older woman a kiss to her cheek, thanked her once again for the pie and promised to see her again soon. He walked away with a wave before continuing on the path he had first been on. He'd started his day with the intention of gathering supplies for his trip with Jake. He already had the basic needs, like a tent and things of that nature. But he needed to get some meat and perhaps a few potions. The Hobbes would be easy enough to take care of, but John was unsure of what they may find in the forests of old Alternia.

Alternia had once been a great country that bordered Albion. A country not quite as large but still substantial on its on. A country full of creatures that were not quite human. There were only books that remained to tell the tale of a once great country. They spoke of strange human-like creatures with horns and grey skin. Alternia and Albion shared a border but were thought to not interact much. There had always been unspoken peace between the lands. And then, as the books read, it seemed Alternia just slowly faded into nothing.

The few trolls, as Alternian people were called, that did travel into Albion simply disappeared. The books spoke of a revolution gone wrong that brought down the Alternian empire. There was little known after that. The trolls were thought to have died out or remained hidden in their land. Albion left Alternia alone and for the most part, it was forgotten. Only books remembered and those who bothered to read them.

John knew little about Alternia, only what it used to be and what it no longer was. Jake knew more, haven read every book he could find on the subject. Jake was an explorer at heart, and the land of Alternia sparked that more than anything. He'd just been waiting for an excuse to explore it and now he had one. John felt lucky enough to tag along. He spent too much time in Bowerstone as it was. He was itching to return to the forests he had once called home.

John spent the rest of his morning gathering the things he felt he would need. Being a hero didn't exactly result in a lot of gold but he was able to live comfortably on his own by working odd jobs every now and then. He loved the Lalonde's but he felt more comfortable living on his own. He rented a small apartment above the blacksmith's that was more than enough for him. John had a comfortable life but there was a feeling he had every so often. A deep feeling in the pit of his stomach like he was missing something.

For a while, he brushed the feeling off. But it wasn't long before he came to wonder more about it. He thought it was a feeling of loneliness. Though all the heroes were found in the forest, without parents, most of them were taken in by a loving family. John was the exception. He was raised by the land and though he was grateful to the wolves who took care of him as a baby, they were not the same as having a human family to love. Even the soldiers were not family. They took him in and raised him to be a solider. He was grateful to them as well because without them, he wouldn't even know how to be human. Of course he was grateful to the Lalonde's as well. They helped him come to realize who he was. He loved all the heroes. They were his family. Rose, Jade, Roxy and Jane were all like sisters to him. Jake and Dirk were like big brothers and Dave. Well, Dave was John's best bro; so Dave called himself.

John was grateful for the wonderful people in his life. He knew just how lucky he was to have them. But he couldn't help the pit of loneliness that made a home deep in his heart. It was a pit no one could replace and he was under the impression that it would always remain there. But he never dwelled on it. He had his fellow heroes and their families; people he considered to be a part of his own family. It was enough for him.

John entered the Lalonde home with a bag over his shoulder and a pie in his hands. He dropped the bag by the door as he shut it and wondered into the open home, finding Rose sitting at the kitchen table with a book in her hands. The lovely blonde woman glanced up when John entered the home, a soft smile coming to her black lips.

"Welcome back, John."

"Hey Rose." He rubbed the bottom of his black boots on the rug before entering the home to place the pie on the table Rose sat at. "Betty brought this for us."

"How lovely of her." The blonde placed her book down, tugging down a purple ribbon to hold her place before she snapped it shut. "I take it you've finished your errands."

"Yeah, I was gonna go back to my place and finish packing. Jake and Jade should be here soon." He said with a shrug, leaning against the back of one of the kitchen chairs. "What are you and Jade going to do?"

Rose let an elbow rest on the table, her chin in her hand as she gazed up to John with vibrantly purple eyes. She was always such an elegant lady. The men in town had certainly taken notice and even a few ladies. "I'm not aware yet. She said she had a few plans and perhaps a few quests for us to do together. I'm fine with anything that will get me out of this house."

"You guys could come with Jake and I?"

Rose shook her head, short blonde hair bouncing slightly as she did so. "Jake is exceptionally excited to spend time alone with you, John." Something in her eyes sparkled, like she was aware of something John was not, which was in fact the truth. John ignored that look however, because he knew Rose better than anyone. If he questioned her, it would turn into a back and forth match of questions that would leave him confused and with a slight headache.

"Well, I'm looking forward to it too, actually. It's been a while since I've traveled far from Bowerstone."

"You miss the forest." She pointed out.

"I do."

Rose searched those eyes of blue before nodding her head once then turned her eyes back to her book. "Go on and finish packing then. Before they arrive."

"Kay. I'll be back." John flicked two fingers at her from his forehead in a mock salute before turning back to the door. Rose watched with sparkling eyes as John tossed his bag over his shoulder and left out the door. Something ticked in her head, something important. A spark of power she was still testing out and working with. Whatever the power was, it reacted to only John recently and that intrigued her more than anything. But for now, there was nothing much she could do except open her book to return to her reading.

John's boots clinked along the cobblestone streets as he made his way over the Bowerstone bridge to the blacksmith's shop. He bounced happily as he walked, rather excited for the trip ahead of him. The blacksmith gave him a wave that he returned as he walked into the shop. He slipped past the displays of weapons and into a small door in the back that lead up to his small apartment.

He tossed the bag into his bed, glancing around the place he called home before grabbing his large traveling bag from the corner. John didn't own much. Just his clothes and a few weapons that meant the world to him. For the most part, John wore simple clothes but when going on a quest, especially one that required flying, he preferred to wear his hero outfit like his fellow heroes. He knew Jake would be wearing his so John decided to change into his own.

But first, he packed. He packed a few pairs of regular clothing, extra underwear and all the food he could. He knew they would find food on the way but it never hurt to have extra just in case. He packed the few potions he had bought in case of emergencies along with extra bandages and such. Better safe than sorry. John packed light, however, because the less he had to carry the better. His tent and sleeping bag fit well into the sides of his traveling bag, leaving him with nothing to carry but his weapons.

John sat his bag by the door before turning to tug off his plain tan shirt. He tossed it to the side, revealing a toned torso and softly tanned skin. John's weapon of choice was always a hammer next to his magic, and his upper body had the muscle to prove that. John wasn't tall by any standard, just a natural height. Jake, Dirk and Dave were all taller than him; Dave by only a few inches. But he was taller than all the girls and that made him feel a bit better about himself. Heroes were tall by natural, so of course he was taller than most villagers. He never considered himself tall, however. Just average. Really, John thought everything about his appearance was average.

His tan skin, his toned muscles, his long fingers, his shaggy black hair, his blue eyes that required special black framed specticals that Dirk had made in order for him to see correctly. His slightly large front teeth that made his smile all the more charming though he didn't think so. John was still in the stage of growing into a man at the age of nineteen. His fellow heroes had already reached their peak, sticking there for the rest of their lives. But John was still a year away from that. He still had some growing to do. Inside and out.

After stripping down to nothing, John tugged on a freshly clean pair of underpants before tugging out his hero suit from the small closet. The vibrant blue contrasted with his normal style but he loved the suit all the same. It was specially made by a friend of Rose's who John had yet to actually met. He wanted to thank the young woman known as Kanaya one day for the well made suit.

It was all one piece, made out of vibrant blue fabric that matched his eyes. The fabric was soft but durable and rather easy to clean which was a great benefit. Blood stains were really hard to get out of most fabrics but not this one. A good soak and the stains would be gone. The suit was more like a robe, as most of the hero outfits were. It had long sleeves with a large hood that traveled all the way to the ground in a triangle shape. John was rather found of that little touch. The tail of the hood would flow behind him as he flew and he thought it made a rather nice effect. The length of the robe stopped just below his knees with slits cut up either side to stop right at his waist for easy movement. He had a special pair of form-fitting black slacks that he always wore underneath the equally form-fitting robe.

Settled in the center of the chest was a light blue symbol Kanaya had lovingly hand stitched into the fabric. Each hero had a symbol. John's was just two lines that curled like the wind. He was rather fond of it. He smiled fondly at the symbol, brushing his finger tips over it for a moment before he placed it on the bed so he could tug on the black slacks. The robe slipped over his head and fluttered around him as he tugged it down. He brushed over the blue fabric, pushing out any wrinkles and ran his hand along the length of the hood. He snapped on the black belt around his waist, completing the hero outfit. He gave himself a good once over before deciding he looked about as good as he could.

John plopped down on his bed, tugging his well-worn black boots close so he could put them on and lace them up. It took him a good five minutes to lace up the boots that came halfway up his calf over his form-fitting pants. Satisfied with his outfit, John moved to his feet to grab the weapons resting in the corner of his room. He usually didn't carry weapons with him considering his magic was a good enough weapon on its own. But he had two weapons he was rather fond of that went on every adventure.

First, was his hammer. The Warhammer of Zillyhoo. An odd name really but John saw no point in arguing with the blacksmith. He was just grateful to have a hammer that _fit_ him. The handle was long, making the hammer almost as tall as John was, with the grey iron sculpted in a pattern that seemed as if the iron had been weaved together. It made for a great grip no matter where John held it. The tip of the handle was covered in gold with his symbol carved into it. The head of the hammer was rather large, formed in blocks, two large with a smaller one in the middle. There were intricate wind like symbols etched into the steel. It was a blunt weapon and did its job rather well.

Second, was his pistol. He never carried a gun before he met Jake and Jade. Roxy and Rose were skilled in guns and even taught him their ways, but he never thought to carry a pistol with him. Not till Jake came along. Tall, strong and warm Jake. Once he found out John didn't carry a pistol, he fixed that immediately. As a gift, Jake gave John a pistol from his home land of Aurora. It was rather small and a bit heavy in John's hand, but it fit his long fingers well and was rather beautiful. He treasured the pistol for reasons he could never explain. Jake was like a big brother to him. A big brother who meant a lot to him.

John twirled his hammer around on his fingertips effortlessly for a moment before attaching it to the strap along his waist and back. It held the hammer in a safe place, leaving his hands free but within easy reach should he need it. He attached the pistol to the belt around his waist within reach before turning to grab his bag from the door. He gave his apartment a good once-over before leaving, locking the door behind him.

"Good luck, John!" The blacksmith called as John made his way through the shop.

John gave the older man a smile and a wave. "Thanks! See you later!" He called as he left the shop, the door swinging shut behind him.

John inhaled the warm end of spring air as he made his way back over the bridge to the Lalonde's home where he was to meet Jake and Jade. The weight of his hammer and the bag over his shoulder were no problem to him. His excitement began to grow as he crossed the bridge, thinking of all the fun he was going to have with Jake. It'd been a while since the two of them had done anything alone together and John was honestly looking forward to it.

"John!"

The raven haired hero brightened up at the waving dark-skinned girl standing at the other end of the bridge. He picked up his pace, grinning as he ran toward Jade. As he neared her, he kicked off the ground, rose into the air and flew at her. Jade squealed in delight when John caught her, wrapping his arms around her waist to lift her in the air, spinning her around a few times. Jade giggled, her waist length thick brown hair floated around them as they hovered in the air, hugging each other tightly.

"It's so great to see you!" Jade laughed, keeping her arms tight around John's shoulders. "Feels like it's been forever!"

"I know, right?" John matched her laughter, pulling back as their feet touched the ground once again to meet glistening lime green eyes. "I missed you."

Jade's grin grew, spreading across her face as she cupped John's cheeks between her hands. "I missed you too, you cutie. You've grown!" She leaned up on her toes to plant a kiss on his cheek, moving her hand out of the way as she did so. "You totally grew another inch or two! I didn't used to have to lean up so much to kiss you!"

John chuckled lightly, puffing out his chest just as bit as she pulled away. "I am still growing after all."

"Another year and you'll be fully grown!" Jade bounced lightly on her red heels, all dressed up in her black hero outfit as well. It really did make her look like a witch and John always wondered how she handled the heat in Aurora with all that black. And all that hair. It'd grown at least another four inches since John last saw her.

"He's growing up well."

The deep voice made John's heart thump and his tanned cheeks to flush slightly. Neither had noticed Jake approach and both turned to him as he stood beside them. Jake hadn't changed since John last saw him. The same short black hair, the same dusty skin, the same large build, the same beautiful green eyes. John swallowed hard and smiled at the older man.

"I wouldn't mind growing a few more inches."

A smile broke out on Jake's handsome face and he reached out to ruffle John's soft hair slightly. "You'll get there. You're already taller than all the girls."

"Yeah, but even Dave's taller than me."

Jake snorted softly while Jade laughed behind her hand softly. "I wouldn't consider that to be a bad thing. Where you lack in height, you make up in strength."

John flushed slightly at the compliment. Jade glanced between the two, a knowing smile on her face as she clapped her hands together. "This is all nice but shouldn't you two be on your way?"

Jake blinked in realization. "Oh, right. Of course! Adventure awaits!" Then he turned on his heel and headed back in the direction of the Lalonde home.

"If you're going to stare, you might as well tell him." Jade said with a soft snicker and a nudge to John's ribs.

"What?" He snapped his eyes to Jade, away from the man he was totally not ogling. "Oh shut up, Jade." He rolled his eyes, forcing down his blush as he followed after the other man. Jade could only giggle as she followed along, enjoying the amusing situation.

"-going to be fascinating!" Jake finished as the other two heroes entered the Lalonde home. Rose stood beside the kitchen table, a soft smile on her black lips as she spoke with Jake.

"Do be safe. We don't really know what could be lurking in the woods of Alternia." She warned softly, flicking her eyes at John to acknowledge his arrival.

"Whatever may be out there sure doesn't stand a chance against John and I!" Jake said, picking up own traveling bag to toss over his shoulder. His sword and duel pistols already rested in the belt around his waist. He wore his hero outfit as well, a bright yellow color that faded well into the sands of Aurora but stood out brightly in Albion. It was similar to John's but had short sleeves and came to a stop at his thighs, making the top more of a tunic than a robe. The hood was also just a simple hood to save his head from the harsh sun of the desert. "Right, John?"

John blinked at the mention of his name, glancing away from a toned body to meet green eyes. "Yeah!" He grinned, adjusting the bag over his shoulder. "We can handle anything."

"Glad you boys are so confidant." Rose mused with a perk of her brow.

"You two ready?" Jade asked, holding her hands up to wiggle her fingers. "Rose and I have plans so let's do this stuff."

"Please don't land us in the water again this time, Jade." John whined faintly, shivering at the thought.

Jade scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Hey, I've gotten one hundred percent better at this okay. Plus it helps that I've been to where you want to go."

"She _has_ improved greatly." Jake stated, stepping up to John and slipped an arm around his shoulders. The height difference had John settled nicely into Jake's side. "Hit us, Sis."

"Okay!" Her hands started to glow green and she approached the two male's, a smile on her face. "Have fun guys! Be safe!" And with that, she placed a hand on either one of their arms. The strange green light surrounded the two of them before they were suddenly plucked right out of thin air.

Used to the travel, Jake landed fine on the beach of Oakfield but John did not fair as easily. He stumbled slightly when ground was under his feet again and felt his stomach lurch slightly. Jake laughed warmly as John tried to grasp his bearings once again in the sand.

"Quite the trip, I know! You get used to it."

"Eh. I would have rather flown." John grumbled softly, running a hand through shaggy black hair.

"This way was quicker. We can fly back if you'd like?" Jake clapped a hand over John's back with a smile on his face.

"Yeah, that'd be great." John smiled up at the taller, older male.

"Wonderful. Well, shall we? There's a few Hobbes out there with our names on them."

John matched Jake's grin and bounced in excitement. "Let's go!"

And so their adventure began. An adventure that would bring John just one step closer to finding a way to seal the hole in his heart and a place to truly call home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it begins. For those who are not familiar with the Fable universe, do not fear, I will explain what each monster is as John encounters them. I'm not one for third person but this story just flows right out of my finger tips so well. I'm rather happy with it!
> 
> I will try to update this once a week but my writing comes when it comes. I make no promises, only that this fic will never be abandoned. It's too damn good for me to do that.
> 
> Please do let me know what you thought? Karkat makes his appearance in the next chapter!
> 
> Thank you for taking the time to read!
> 
> ~Addy~


	2. We Are Heroes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who has liked this story so far. Means a lot, it really does. Now, I'm updating a little early cause I managed to finish this pretty quickly and considering it's Karkat's wriggling day, I had to post something. Happy wriggling day my cranky crab baby~.
> 
> Warnings for this chapter: Blood. Lots of it. Gore too. Fighting and whatnot. And some um Windicuffs. IT DOES NOT LAST TRUST ME. 
> 
> [Here's](http://img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090111040708/fable/images/1/1f/Hobbes.jpg) a picture of the Hobbes just in case you wanted a visual.
> 
> Check out the end notes for some more pictures. Even some FANART.

The town of Oakfield was a simple place. Full of farmers and monks. The Temple of Light wasn't too far off from Oakfield and was still considered to be a part of the village. The farmers were kind folk who worked the land and sold their crops in Bowerstone. They were well-known for having the best crops around and over the years the village had grown. Children ran about; villagers running about to do their errands. It felt a bit like Bowerstone to John; minus the slight stink from Industrial.

The air smelled of fresh dirt, grass and a hint of the ocean. John could feel the trees around him, pulsing along with the land and causing his skin to itch. Oh it had been much too long since he'd spent a good amount of time in the forests. Waiting a bit longer was going to make him suffer but John knew it was all worth it.

"We should head to the Sandgoose first." Jake mentioned as the two of them traveled down the long path from the beach to the center of the village. "Talk to a few villagers. See where exactly it is we need to go so we're not wandering around the forests, looking for Hobbes."

John adjusted the bag over his shoulder. "Sounds good to me. I want to get those Hobbes as soon as possible."

"Really itching to get in the forest, aren't you?" Jake teased softly, a smile on his lips as he glanced at the other male.

John flushed softly, averting his eyes to the ground. "It's been awhile."

"Alright. You go ahead then. I'll talk to the villagers myself."

"No, I can wait. We'll carry out more if we talk to them together."

Jake searched those orbs of blue before giving a slight shrug. "If you're sure then, mate."

John nodded firmly against the itching in his bones. The sooner they got information the sooner they could kill the Hobbes and explore the forest. John was on a mission to not only take down the Hobbes but to relieve the pressure in his chest just enough so he could breathe properly again. That was all John really wanted.

They approached the center of town where the majority of the people were. There were a few stands scattered about but mainly, people were traveling in and out of The Sandgoose, a rather well-known tavern. A place Dirk had spent a good chunk of his life before Dave came along. As they approached the tavern, they started to be noticed. People smiled at them as they passed by and waved to greet them. They both would nod their heads in a silent greeting, earning smiles and giggles for their effort.

"I bet if we were Striders there'd be a mob right now." Jake mused softly.

"Probably." John said with a soft laugh.

"Heroes!" A young woman, probably not too much older than John, with blonde hair and bright eyes noticed them from her place near the entrance of the tavern. She left whatever conversation she was having behind and quickly approached them. "Oh thank the stars you've arrived." Her eyes were wide, her breath coming out in pants. She looked frightened and the two could only imagine what she had seen.

"We came as quickly as we could." Jake stepped toward the woman, offering her a soft smile. "Hobbes spread quickly, we can only hope we're not too late."

The woman shook her head, swallowing hard as tears came to her eyes. "My daughter. They took her. I know... I know she's probably gone forever but please, if you can..."

"We'll do the best that we can." Jake said, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder.

John stepped up beside them, offering the woman a comforting smile. "Do you know where they took her? That would be a really big help."

She nodded, sniffing softly and turned to point toward the Temple of Light. "There's a cave not far off in the woods near the Temple. Children have been seen going there."

"Thank you." Jake smiled kindly at her, bending down slightly to meet her gaze. "We'll do our best."

"Thank you."

And with that, the two made their way toward the Temple of Light. They passed the Sandgoose and crossed over a hill into the forest. Being surrounded by trees once again made John feel a little better but he was more worried about the children. They didn't know how many children had been lured but even one child was enough to cause alarm. John didn't want to think about how many other innocent people had been taken.

Hobbes were disgusting little creatures. They were the height of a five-year old considering they had once been children themselves. No one knew how a child became a Hobbe, only that it happened after the child was lured into the deep dark caves in which the Hobbes dwelled. They were violent creatures and not really all that bright. Humans were their choice of meat and because of that, they never smelled all that nice. Hobbes had a distinct scent. Blood, human flesh and a mix of stale dirt. John would know it anywhere. He'd fought them before, countless times even. The small ugly creatures had a habit of reappearing after a period of time.

There were different types of Hobbes that proved to be more of a problem than the smaller regular ones. There were the larger Hobbes who had the ability to shoot guns. How they had learned to do such a thing, no one really knew. There were Hobbes who liked to travel on stilts for some reason and Hobbes that even wore armor. There were the wizard Hobbes that could use magic and summon skeleton Hobbes. Those were the hardest to kill.

The dirt path broke off in two directions, one leading to the Temple while the other lead to the forest. They took the right and moved their way into the thick forests that bordered Alternia. The scent in the air changed, switching from a light warm earthy scent to a deep musky wet forest scent. The air cooled down a good few degrees as they made their way deeper into the forest and John began to wonder about the trees around him.

They felt different. Very different. He couldn't pinpoint why they felt different only that there was something off with them. Something that wasn't quite right. He didn't think to mention this to Jake considering he wasn't even sure what he was feeling to begin with. John kept his eyes alert, scanning the forests for whatever cave the woman had mentioned.

Suddenly, Jake stopped him with an arm held out over his chest, his eyes narrowed. John tilted his head slightly, searching the forest around them and forcing his thoughts to cease so he could just _listen_ to the forest. For a moment, all he heard was birds and the occasional rustle. But then it came. The high-pitched, strange language of a Hobbe off in the distance. The two heroes glanced at each other before dropping the bags from their shoulders and stuffed them under a bush near the path.

No words needed to be spoken. They knew what to do. Jake slipped into the forest, effortlessly climbed a tree and took off toward the sound of the Hobbe. John pushed off the ground silently, floating in the air for a moment before allowing the wind to push him forward, flying through the trees and toward the sound. It wasn't long before he came upon the Hobbe they had heard and though Jake was no where in sight, John knew he was around somewhere.

Three regular Hobbes stood outside the entrance to what looked to be a large underground cave. Two had clubs while the other had what looked to be an old rusty dagger. None of them noticed John hovering in the air not too far away. The element of surprise was always on John's side. No one expected someone to just come swooping in from the sky. Especially a Hobbe.

So, with a faint smirk John cracked his fingers and summoned the magic within him, watching as his hands started to glow a beautiful sparking blue. Blue eyes glanced about, finally spotting Jake crouched in a tree. Green met blue and shared a nod. The less commotion the better. John licked his lips, narrowed his eyes slightly, focused on the three Hobbes and then let forth three bursts of magic.

All three met their mark, landing on a Hobbe that then went flying in the air, twisting and turning before exploding into a shower of blood. It wasn't the prettiest thing in the world but it was quick and quiet. The sound of blood and chunks of flesh falling to the ground once made John wince but he was used to it. He'd been a soldier once. It took more than that to get to him these days.

Jake jumped from his branch to land at the entrance to the cave while John came down from the sky and landed effortlessly on his feet. Jake flashed him a smile while clapping him on the back in a gesture of "well done". John returned the smile as a thank you while Jake pulled out his dual pistols, checking them over in his hands before letting them hang at his sides, his fingers on the triggers. John grabbed the war hammer from his back, removing it so he could hold it in his hands. Ready as they could be, the two ventured into the cave together.

The scent hit them immediately. There was no denying Hobbes were living in the cave. The scent of blood and rotten flesh were proof enough even if it wasn't for the three Hobbes outside the entrance. John crinkled his nose and grabbed the tail of hood, wrapping it around his mouth and covered his nose in the process into a makeshift mask. As he breathed, he could smell the rotten flesh but it was easier to handle with the barrier of his hood.

The sound of Hobbe conversations echoed off he walls of the cave that soon opened up into a large opening of stone bridges and deep drops. The heroes stood at the edge of a drop off a little stunned that such a thing existed underground. It was part of the old kingdom, that much was obvious with the crumbling pillars and archways. The markings resembled the same ruins above ground of the old kingdom.

John was in the air quickly, his eyes narrowing at the groups of Hobbes that scurried along the stone pathways, having yet to even notice the heroes. The air was a bit thin the higher John went but he had an advantage in the air so he hovered not to far from Jake. Jake twirled his pistols for a moment, glancing up at John who wiggled his glowing blue fingers, ready to attack.

Jake raised his pistols to eye level, his eyes narrowing and his lips curling into a smirk that made John flush. Jake was a happy going kinda guy but when he was in battle, it was like he changed completely. This was the Jake John was attracted to. Even if he never admitted it. Probably never would admit it. To himself or anyone else for that matter. John gasped, jerking at the sharp sound of two bullets.

That was all it took. Two Hobbes down and the rest, s _o many_ , screeched in horror. The heroes were finally noticed making Jake's smirk grow just a bit more. Hobbes turned, ran around and stumbled before finally gathering their wits and pulled out their weapons. By the time they had done so, Jake was on the attack, running and taking down every Hobbe that came in sight.

John flew into action, weaving through the pillars and archways to get ahead of Jake. Jake could handle himself. John landed in the middle of a group of Hobbes, a smirk coming to his lips, hidden behind his makeshift mask. He twirled the hammer around in one hand, earning a screech of fear from one of the smaller Hobbes when he was finally noticed. He wasted no time in lunching forward and swung his hammer around, up in the air and then _down_. The sharp crunch of bone as the Hobbe's head was smashed into the ground shook John to the core.

Growls picked up from the Hobbes and a few shouted in english as they surrounded John, ready to attack. The wind hero smirked, twirling his hammer between his fingers while the other hand came to life with blue magic. _Bring it on_ , He thought, standing still and waiting for a Hobbe to make a move. Soon, one of the larger ones with a gun became impatient and shot his gun off. John easily avoided the bullet, slipped his hammer till he could grip the end and then swung it around using his own weight as momentum. The Hobbe was knocked to the side, flying into a wall with a defeating _crunch_.

The remaining Hobbes screeched in anger and attacked all at once. John grinned, spinning around on his feet lightly, avoiding their jabs and gunshots effortlessly. A bullet managed to skim his neck but he ignored it as he swung his hammer around, _crunch crunch crunching_. One after another, the Hobbes came only to find their bodies crunched to death by John's hammer. He even managed to knock a few off the ledge to fall into the dark abyss beneath them.

Then, suddenly, John was frozen. The breath escaped him, his hammer frozen in mid-air and his skin sparked with the magic surrounding him. He hissed softly, cutting his eyes to the side, forcing his head to turn the best he could to see the wizard Hobbe a few feet away, a smirk on its ugly face and its staff raised in the air. The few remaining Hobbes around John cheered in delight and moved to attack him. But they underestimated him. John was magic after all. His own overpowered the Hobbes.

John started to glow blue all around, startling the few Hobbes who moved to attack him. He pushed through the Hobbes' magic, crouching down the best he could, letting his magic grow and grow before it finally reached its peak. John let it go; an explosion of blinding blue magic bursting out from him and over the cave. When John opened his eyes, the Hobbes were gone, blown off into the abyss beneath him. And not just the ones he had been fighting, all of them. Every Hobbe in the damn cave was gone. John stilled, his breath catching in his throat. _That_ was different.

"John! Little help, mate!" Jake called, hanging onto the edge of one of the stone pathways not far away.

John gasped, pushing off the ground to swoop in the air and quickly grab Jake before the male could fall into the dark oblivion. He lifted Jake in the air before the two landed on their feet once again on the stone pathway. "Sorry about that."

Jake just grinned and knocked John's shoulder with the butt of his gun. "Getting more powerful there, John. Got the wind knocked out of me. Didn't expect that."

"Uh." John flushing slightly beneath his makeshift mask as he glanced around the now empty cave. "I didn't, um, I don't know what happened."

Jake's smile softened as he ruffled the others hair. "Don't worry about it, John. You did well. Let's keep going. There's probably more in the depth of the cave."

John nodded, still concerned over what he had just done. He could have killed Jake. Well, perhaps not have killed him but severely hurt him. John usually had great control over his magic but that... That was more than he was used to. He was still growing so he knew his powers were as well but they'd never reached such an area before. Not like that.

John kept his mouth shut as he following along behind Jake up the pathways and through the archways. The stench was still evident and seemed to grow as they neared the entrance to another tunnel. John followed after Jake, crinkling his nose as they walked. The tunnel expanded with wooden planks holding up the ceiling of the tunnel. It looked rather unsafe but they had a job to do. As they walked, John discovered the ground speckled with puddle of blood. He swallowed hard, completely aware of what they were about to walk into.

The nest.

The end of the tunnel lead into another large opening that didn't seem to have any other way out. Hobbes scurried about, having not noticed the heroes. The ceiling of the nest was high with many strange chunks of meat hanging from it. John didn't even want to think about what they were. He could even make out a human or two hanging from the ceiling. There were cages, beds and desks everywhere. Random trinkets the Hobbes liked to collect from humans. The ground was completely stained with blood, a few dead bodies littered about but John's attention was caught on the dirty little blonde girl stuck in one of the cages.

"Keep your magic in check." Jake hissed softly in his ear, motioning to the little girl who was curled up in a ball.

John could only nod, amazed they even managed to find a child alive. He didn't want to fight the Hobbes in front of the child but he couldn't even imagine what she had already seen. He grimaced at the thought, a snarl coming to his lips as his hands started to glow blue. Jake gave him a nod and then took off to the side, hoping to flank the group of twenty or so Hobbes.

John flew into the air, hovering just below the ceiling and above the majority of the ground. He avoided the chunks of meat hanging from the ceiling and did his best to not even touch them. There were so many... He swallowed hard and waited for Jake's cue. He was the older one after all. John always followed his lead. But then the little girl looked up and just happened to see John floating there the same moment John glanced down to her. Her dull blue eyes widened in fear while John raised a finger to his mask, hoping she understand he wanted her to remain quiet. The girl nodded slightly and buried her head in her arms. Well, at least she wouldn't _see_ anything unless she looked up. John had a feeling she wouldn't.

"Gargh!" The shout of a Hobbe caught his attention and he glanced down to see he'd been spotted. Well, the element of surprise was out the window but John didn't mind. He hissed and tossed his body toward the ground, landing on his feet behind a Hobbe that quickly lost its head thanks to his hammer.

Jake let out a shout and then gunshots echoed over the walls of the cave. John narrowed his eyes, lifting his hammer at the ready as the Hobbes came at him with clubs and guns. One after another, _crunch crunch_ , just like before. They weren't difficult to kill, there was just so many of them. John let out a growl when he felt one of those heavy things jump on his back, catching its club under his chin to press against his throat and pull back, trying to choke him. Smart little fuck.

John dropped his hammer, grasped the pistol from his belt and twirled it in his hands till the barrel pressed against the head of the Hobbe hanging on him. John closed his eyes and pulled the trigger, relieved to feel the weight of the Hobbe fall to the ground while his ears rang from the sound. He was sure blood had made it on his clothing but he paid it no mind as he twirled his gun around and shot another two through the mouth. His hammer lay forgotten in the blood stained dirt for the moment as he twirled around on his feet effortlessly taking down Hobbe after Hobbe.

And then he tripped. He actually _tripped_ over the arm of a long dead body and fell backwards to the blood stained ground. He hissed, his back aching slightly as he quickly flew into the air to avoid the Hobbe that made a beeline for him. His heel pressed into the back of the Hobbe, pinning it to the ground before he shot it in the head. John growled softly in the back of his throat as he turned to continue fighting only to find all the Hobbes were down.

For a good three minutes, Jake and John just stood still in the middle of dead Hobbes and just _listened._ Their racket would have caused any more Hobbes in the vicinity to come back to the nest. But they heard nothing. Just the soft whimpering of the little girl. A glance to one another and they belted their pistols before moving to the little girl.

"Shh, Its alright little one." John got to her first, whispering to her softly as he worked on snapping the lock of the cage. It snapped under his fingers once Jake arrived and he swung open the cage door.

"John." Jake said softly, placing a heavy hand on his shoulder. "You're, well, you're a bit bloody, mate." He motioned to the bits of blood spatter on his front and his back. "Perhaps I should?"

"Yeah." John nodded softly, moving away from the cage so Jake could coerce the girl out. He let out a soft sigh, looking down at himself. There were a few spatters along his front and shoulder and he was sure his back didn't fare any better. He turned away from the cage and walked over to his hammer. He lifted it up, looking it over for any damage. No damage, just a lot of blood. He sighed softly, twirling it around behind him to attach it back in place.

The sudden shriek of the little girl startled him and he turned to see her cowering away from Jake like she was afraid he would hurt her. John's brow furrowed and he made his way back to the cage. When those pale eyes landed on him, she made grabby hands at him. She couldn't have been more than four years old. Jake moved out of the way and allowed John to move in front of the open cage. The little girl crawled forward, letting John's hands slip under her arms so he could lift her out of the cage.

"Shh, you're safe now." John whispered to the shaking girl as she wrapped her legs around his waist and clung to his chest, her little hands bunching his robe up in her fists. John let his arms rest under her thighs, keeping her in place as he turned to Jake. "We should get her back to the village."

"Yeah, poor things seen enough." Jake agreed.

So, with the little girl clinging to John, the three left the caves. She didn't pull away from John's chest until they were finally outside in the forest. She blinked against the sun light, glancing around before looking up at John. "Fly." She spoke softly. John just blinked at her as she pulled a hand from his chest to point in the air. "Fly?"

"I think she wants you to take her flying." Jake said with a soft chuckle, patting John on the back. Without having to be asked, the older male grabbed the tail of John's hood and unraveled it from around his face before letting it drop behind him where it belonged. The girl's face lit up now that she could fully see John's face.

"Hero!" She said with a soft giggle and John thanked whatever higher power there was that children were so innocent. She was still shaking but the trauma was passing for now. She was bound to have nightmares for a long time but for the moment, she seemed to be okay.

"John." Jake patted his shoulder, introducing the hero to the little girl. "And I'm Jake." The girl glanced between them, the grin on her face growing as she bounced in John's arms.

"John! Jake!"

John's lips quirked up into a smile. "What's your name?" He asked.

"Casey!" She said with a fit of giggles.

John's heart about melted right there. "Well Casey, would you like me to fly you home?"

"Please!"

John glanced to Jake who was already moving back to the path and waving a hand at John. "Go on ahead. I'll get your things and meet you at the Sandgoose. We should clean up there before we head on our next adventure."

"Alright. See you soon." John pushed off the ground and flew into the air, earning a squeal of delight from the little girl in his arms. He couldn't help the grin that came to his lips as he moved above the trees and hovered there so Casey could get a good look around her.

"Pretty!"

"Yeah, flying is pretty great." John said with a chuckle, tightening his arms around the girl so she didn't squirm out of his grip. He glanced around before turning to look behind him at the vast expanse of forest and mountains. Alternia in the distance. A place they would travel to soon. Excitement bubbled in the pit of John's stomach but there was a sense of something else floating in the recesses of his mind.

"Mommy!" Casey caught John's attention and he turned back toward Oakfield.

"Let's get you home." He flashed her a smile before he took off back toward Oakfield. The little girl squealed in John's arms, getting a tight grip on his clothing as he flew over the trees. He swooped around a few trees, spinning in the air making Casey laugh with delight. John couldn't keep the smile off his face as he neared the Sandgoose.

"Mommy!" Casey exclaimed, catching the attention of the young woman John met before who was still standing outside the tavern.

"Casey!" The woman hopped on her feet, a bright smile on her face and tears in her eyes as she reached toward the sky as John came swooping down to the ground. "Oh goodness, Casey!" The woman reached out for her daughter as soon as John's boots touched the ground and he happily handed her over. "Oh my baby. Oh thank goodness." She mumbled, holding the giggling girl to her chest tightly, petting her dirty blonde hair. "I couldn't... I can't thank you enough." She said, glancing up at John with tears in her eyes.

John bit his lower lip, shaking his head as he ran a hand through his shaggy hair. "You don't need to thank me. I'm just happy we found her in time."

The woman smiled brightly. "Please, allow me to thank you in the best way I know how. Join us for dinner? You and your friend. It would be an honor."

"Oh no, I couldn't ask that of you."

"Don't be so modest, John." Jake practically appeared out of no where, stepping up beside the two. "We would love to join your family for dinner, if your husband wouldn't mind."

"I..." The woman shook her head, shifting the girl in her arms. "It's just Casey and I."

The heroes glanced at one another before nodding. "Then we would be honored to join the two of you for dinner." Jake answered.

"Oh wonderful. You're more than welcome to clean up and stay the night as well. There's an extra room." She offered, the smile on her lips genuine.

"Hero!" Casey wiggled in her mother's arms as she turned to reach out for John again. "Fly! Hero flies!"

Her mother chuckled softly. "Yes, he does fly." She offered her child to John who blushed softly as he took the girl in his arms once more. "She's really taken a liking to you."

"She certainly has." Jake laughed, patting John's shoulder. "John here is rather great with children."

John flushed a bit more at Jake's compliment, avoiding the knowing look the woman was giving him. "Come on, Casey. Why don't you show me where you live?"

"That way! Fly, please!" She pointed up a hill and after glancing to her mother, who nodded in approval, John was in the sky again with a giggling little girl in his arms.

* * *

"She really has taken to you." Annabelle spoke softly as she sat on the small couch beside John. Casey was curled up in his lap, a thumb in her mouth and her cheek pressed to his chest as she slept softly.

John smiled softly, petting the girl's clean bright blonde hair gently. "She's a really cool kid."

Dinner had been a lovely event for the two heroes. Annabelle was a great cook and John enjoyed playing with Casey. The heroes even had a chance to clean themselves up and John opted to allow Annabelle to clean his hero attire of the blood so he wore simple slacks and a blue button up for the time being. After dinner, John curled up on the couch with Casey and told her a few stories from his adventures while Jake helped Annabelle clean up.

"Thank you for looking after her." Annabelle smiled softly, shifting to take Casey from John's lap. "I'm going to put her to bed." She carefully curled the sleeping girl against her torso, offering John a soft smile. "And then put myself to bed. I'll see you in the morning?"

John nodded, getting to his feet to follow her up the stairs. "Jake and I aren't going to leave too early."

"Good. Casey will want to say goodbye. Goodnight, John." She said with a soft smile as she opened the door to her bedroom.

"Goodnight." He gave her a smile before turning down the hallway to walk to the room he and Jake would be sharing. It was nice of the single mother to allow the two of them to stay with her and Jake saw no reason to object her kind offer. It was nice after all, to get to sleep in a real bed instead of in a tent. One last night with a real bed. John was going to savor it.

Jake was already sitting on the bed, shirtless with his dual guns spread out over the comforter as he cleaned them. "Off to bed?" He asked, glancing up as John shut the door behind him.

"Casey fell asleep on me." He chuckled softly, shifting over to the dresser where his hero outfit was neatly folded and clean thanks to Annabelle. "It's nice sometimes, you know? To just be simple." He ran his fingers over the fabric before shifting to remove his boots.

Jake gave a noise of agreement. "Shame we'll never get to be simple. Life of a hero after all."

"Yeah, but it's nice to savor the few moments we do get." He offered as he tucked his boots in the corner beside Jake's.

"You can start a family any time you want, John. There are plenty of girls who would love the chance."

John flushed darkly, shaking his head as he turned back to his folded robe on the dresser. "Even if I did, it's not like I'd get to spend a lot of time with them. Like you said, life of a hero. Better off not starting something like that. No attachments."

Jake rolled his eyes, tucking his guns back into their holster. "You're sounding like Dirk there." His voice held a hint of resentment John knew too much about.

"Well, you guys are my attachments. I don't need more of a family than the one I already have." Blue orbs sparked as they landed on the necklace beside his robe. The chain of the necklace was a sparkling silver and the pendent was a heavy diamond-shaped dark green jewel that had a faint green glow to it. A necklace every Hero had, though it differed for each Hero. It was a necklace they were found with. John was the only one without it. He'd figured he'd lost it sometime in his early years of life in the forest. He lifted his hand to run his fingertips over the smooth jewel of Jake's necklace.

"We are a family, after all." Jake moved from the bed, dropping his belt beside his boots carefully before approaching John from behind. "Children of the land." He mumbled softly, pressing against John's back innocently as he let his chin rest on the younger's shoulder, green eyes following the way John caressed the jewel.

The flush on John's cheeks was evident but neither felt the need to point it out. "I wonder sometimes where it went."

Jake hummed softly, glancing to John's face as his hands came to rest on the male's hips. "It's out there somewhere. Perhaps you should go back one day and search for it." He reached forward, through John's arm to press a finger to the jewel. At his touch, the jewel started to glow a beautiful green. "Something once lost can always be found again."

John snorted softly, leaning backwards in Jake's hold just a bit. "I doubt I would ever find it no matter how hard I tried."

"You never know." Jake shrugged, giving John's cheek a peck before he pulled away, taking the necklace with him to place back around his neck.

John's breath hitched slightly at the kiss and he forced down the overwhelming urge to grab Jake and make him kiss somewhere else. It wasn't a strange feeling, something John was surprisingly used to. But the two had established something a long time ago. Jake was in love with Dirk; John _knew_ that. He had no intention of trying to come between the two, even if Dirk was still apprehensive about the whole thing. But the flying hero couldn't control how he felt. It was something he was still working on.

"Come to bed, John. We have an early start in the morning."

With a hard swallow and a nod, John turned to follow Jake to bed.

* * *

The sun was bright the next morning and the air smelt of rain. There were a few clouds in the sky but John was sure it wouldn't rain until much later in the day and he hoped by then that they would be far enough away to avoid the rain all together. He and Jake stood outside Annabelle's home, saying their goodbyes to the lovely little family.

"Thank you again." Annabelle said with a smile as John ruffled Casey's hair.

"Thank _you._ " Jake gave her a smile as John took a few steps back toward him.

"Do be safe and if you ever need a place to stay again, you are always welcome here."

The heroes bowed their heads to the kind woman as Casey giggled. "Bye bye flying hero! Bye bye strong hero!" She waved her hand above her head enthusiastically, causing all the adults to smile.

"See you soon, Casey." John waved back, matching her smile before offering his hand to Jake. They'd agreed to fly to the Alternian forest to avoid the rain. It was faster to fly and Jake was eager to reach new undiscovered land.

"Farewell!" Jake grasped John's hand, linking their fingers together and braced himself as John pushed off the ground. It took a few seconds for the wind to embrace Jake and lift the male up along with John.

Casey squealed in delight as John and Jake ascended. They offered the hopping girl a few more waves before John turned them toward the forest and they took off, hand in hand toward the forests of Alternia. Their adventure had yet to begin and John felt a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach. He brushed it off as excitement for he couldn't possibly know that he would find a place to call home deep within the forests of Alternia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I didn't lie about Karkat being in this chapter I just... Well it was getting so long and I felt John and Karkat's first meeting should have its own chapter. So I promise, Karkat comes in the next chapter! And it's a bit entertaining as well. It's hard for me to write the two of them without there being some love involved. This is going to be interesting.
> 
> Some Fanart and such for you guys.(the dolls are missing horns, ignore that fact haha)
> 
>  
> 
> [Steampunk verions of the Heroes and a human gamzee(for fun.)](http://the-orgasmic-cyhper.tumblr.com/post/88337284610/calorcist-steampunk-homestuck-for)
> 
>  
> 
> [John And Karkat](http://the-orgasmic-cypher.tumblr.com/post/88349800860/so-i-found-this-dress-up-game-and-i-i-had-to-do)
> 
>  
> 
> [Jade and Jake](http://the-orgasmic-cypher.tumblr.com/post/88407382475/so-i-made-jade-and-jake-from-the-same-dress-up)
> 
>  
> 
> [Rose and Dave](http://the-orgasmic-cypher.tumblr.com/post/88408452300/rose-and-dave-from-my-fablestuck-au-wits-rose)
> 
>  
> 
> [Dirk and Roxy](http://the-orgasmic-cypher.tumblr.com/post/88410176115/and-now-we-have-roxy-and-dirk-now-roxy-im-very)
> 
>  
> 
> [Jane and Gamzee](http://the-orgasmic-cypher.tumblr.com/post/88419281575/jane-and-gamzee-why-cause-im-bored-and-neither)
> 
>  
> 
> Welp, please let me know what you thought of this chapter! 
> 
> Thanks again!
> 
> ~Addy~


	3. The Long Fated Meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so, Here this is a little bit early for the simple fact that I feel like it. I'm working on planning out the rest of this story and I've gotten to chapter 11 so far and that's a little more than halfway done. So this story might be twenty chapters or so. Not sure yet. Either way, I'm looking forward to it.
> 
> Thanks to everyone whose enjoyed it so far. 
> 
> And here we finally have the hero meeting his fated troll!
> 
> Warnings: Uh, Karkat's mouth? That's a warning haha
> 
> p.s.- I also added pairings because I've come to realize what side pairings will be happening in this story. They may not have been established yet at this point in the story but they will be.

Five days into their exploration of the Alternian forests; the two heroes had yet to find anything too interesting. At least not to John. Jake was fascinated by the ruins that looked similar to those of the old kingdom but weren't completely the same. They spotted a few crumbled pillars on their travels but nothing substantial to explore. But even so, Jake was still excited. He'd mentioned that they would probably have to continue deeper into the forests to find anything worth exploring. John was unsure about how far they could and would explore.

After all, Alternia may have fallen a long time ago but that didn't mean there wasn't trolls wondering about. Or anything else dangerous for that matter. John never wanted to feel like he was intruding on someone's territory and they knew little about these Alternian trolls, if there were any still alive. Part of him wanted to travel deep into the forests until they found a village or something of that sort, just to possibly meet a troll. John was curious about the land long forgotten and the creatures that once ruled it.

The forests of Alternia were different from any other John had the pleasure of visiting. Before they even landed, John could feel the shift in the air. The air was cooler and a bit thicker. It was strange really. Like a wall of difference between Albion and Alternia. The trees were thicker, denser, and John couldn't shake the feeling like they had an energy of their own. Even the land rumbled with a difference that the hero could not place. Something was off with the land of Alternia; John just couldn't figure out _what_.

"Think you'll be alright on your own, mate?" Jake asked, rolling out the small white tarp he used to clean his guns. They had yet to actually run into anything dangerous so his guns had yet to fire since the Hobbes. Jake still liked to take care of his weapons though so a daily cleaning was always given.

John let his war hammer rest against a tree as he smiled at the other male. "Yeah. We haven't run into anything yet, I don't see why I would now. If I can manage to get a deer, we'll have enough food to last us the rest of the trip. Hopefully."

"Not sure if there's deer in these parts." He glanced up at the other, shifting his guns to rest between his spread legs.

"Won't hurt to find out."

"Don't get lost." Jake glanced up at the thick ceiling of leaves and branches. "Don't wander too far."

John smiled softly, giving the male a mock salute as he tossed Jake his own pistol. The male caught it effortlessly with a fond smile. "Clean him for me?"

"Going out weaponless?"

"Lighter that way. I have my magic." John shrugged, pulling the hood of his robe over his shaggy black hair. "I'll be back before dark."

"Be safe."

"You too."

And with that, John slipped past a few trees and disappeared into thick forest. He did not fear getting lost for he could always follow the slight scent of his own trail back to Jake. He knew the older male would be perfectly fine on his own so he did not worry as he wandered into the forest. He felt the same odd buzzing from the trees as he had the past few days since entering Alternia. It was a strange feeling but it was not entirely unpleasant.

John wandered through the forest quietly, side stepping fallen branches and jumping over logs. It was a surreal feeling to be _alone_ in the forest. The air was thick and smelt of damp ground. It was a familiar scent to the hero and he couldn't help the calm that came over him. It reminded him of his childhood. Growing up alone in the forest with only the wolves around to help him. How had he managed to survive really? He honestly did not know. He chalked it up to the fact that he was a hero. But something in the back of his mind tugged to make him remember it was more than just that. Yet, he couldn't remember what.

There was a rustle and John stopped in his tracks, stilling his breathing as his blue eyes scanned the forest in search of what made the sound. He'd seen a few bunnies already and if he had to, he'd taken them for food. But he was set on finding a deer. If there were bunnies there was bound to be a deer or two around somewhere. Slowly, John lifted himself into the air and moved forward, making no sound as he moved through the trees and followed the sound of leaves rustling and sticks breaking.

Found it. A deer, still young but large enough to offer a good amount of meat, stood a good few feet away in a small clearing as it munched on some flowers. John stilled, pressing himself against the trunk of a tree as he shifted to stay down wind of the deer. If it smelled him, he would be out of luck. But the winds were in his favor, as they always would be, and he remained down wind as the deer munched on its lunch.

Slowly, carefully, calculating, John lifted a hand. His fingers moved slightly as they become engulfed in a light blue flame. His eyes narrowed, his body stilling completely as he readied himself to aim at the deer. The forest was quiet, a few birds chirping in the distance that John blocked out. If there was one thing John was better at than anything else, this was it. Hunting. Something he'd done since he was old enough to walk. His fingers twisted slightly as the blue flame became a blue arrow in his fingers, ready to be shot off and hit home.

But before John could even release the arrow, the air shifted suddenly. So suddenly it startled him though the deer was unaffected. His eyes widened and glanced around though he saw nothing. He bit his lower lip rather hard as he tried to focus on the deer once again, shrugging off the strange feeling trying to overtake him. He raised the arrow a bit but before he could launch it a black shadow suddenly flashed across the clearing.

John froze, watching as _something_ attacked the unknowing deer and brought it down. A figure hunched over the now slaughtered deer and from his distance John could make the figure out the rather humanoid. His eyes widened, his breath frozen in his throat as his heart started to pound. It... It couldn't be. It wasn't possible, was it? John couldn't believe what he was seeing.

After a moment, the figure stood up straight and wiped its mouth with the back of its sleeve. John could see the figure a bit more clearly now though it was facing away from him. The humanoid figure wore black clothing that covered most of its body. What skin John could see was dark and it had a head of messy black hair. And... Horns? Is that what those strange orange things were? John was unable to tell from the distance but he was intrigued to find out more.

The creature was still for only a moment before it reached down to grasp the deer and toss it over its shoulder effortlessly. Then it left the clearing in the opposite direction of where John was. It only took a few seconds for John to dislodge himself from the tree and fly off after the creature. Curiosity drove him as he weaved through the trees, staying silent as ever with the wind on his side. He kept a good distance but never lost sight of the rather tall creature.

John followed it for a good while before they came upon a break in the trees. He hovered near one of the trees, staying hidden as the creature continued forward. The clearing revealed a small cabin that was surrounded by gardens full of vegetables and flowers. John's eyes narrowed in confusion at this but he remained still at the edge of the forest. He watched as the creature disappeared around the cottage and out of his view.

Part of John insisted that he leave immediately. He had no idea what he could get into and the only weapon he had was his magic. A great weapon on its own but he had no idea what he was dealing with. He didn't want to have to use his weapon. Not at all. He took a deep breath and slipped back through the trees, following along the outer circle to come around the back of the cabin where the creature was laying out his fresh kill on a wooden table.

John lowered himself to the ground, careful to not make a sound as his boots touched the soft earth. The air had shifted to accommodate so he was still down wind of the creature. Given his place he was now closer than before, able to get a better look at the humanoid creature. It was taller than John, perhaps the same height as Dave with long arms and legs that had a good deal of muscle to them that could be seen through form-fitting black clothing. The creature's body type reminded John a great deal of Dave's. Tall, thin, lithe but strong. It had lifted that deer rather effortlessly after all.

Settled in a mop of messy black hair were two nubs. John took them as horns no longer than a couple of inches. They were different shades of orange, getting lighter near the rounded tip. John found them rather... cute. His eyes narrowed slightly as he tried to get a look at the creatures face but to no avail. It had its back to him and though John was grateful he had not been noticed, he wanted to get closer to see that face. Something clawed at the back of his heart, begging him to get closer.

Then, suddenly, the creature was gone. John stood up straight, his eyes widening as they glanced around. It was there one second and then gone the next. Was it really that fast? That was rather frightening. A strange shiver ran up John's spine and he didn't have a chance to avoid the body that flung at him. He let out a yelp, the intense growling of the creature loud as its heavy body knocked him into a tree.

Sharp claws wrapped around his throat, digging in as his senses came back to him. For a moment, all he could see was red. So much red. The claws around his neck tightened as the creatures face came into focus. Plump lips were pulled back over pin sharp teeth in a snarl, his, _yes a male_ , nose crinkled and its rather large strange eyes narrowed. His face was rounded, button nose and round cheeks, hidden mostly behind thick strands of black hair that framed it with strange pointed ears that peeked out. And his _skin_. The color of clouds on a rainy day. But his eyes. Even though the air to his lungs was being cut off, all John could focus on were those eyes. Yellow where they should have been white, red in the iris and pupils like that of a cat. Large for his face but beautiful all the same. Breath taking actually. Speaking of breathing...

"What the ever-loving _fuck_ do you think you're doing?" The creature hissed in a language John was surprised he understood, though there was an underlining of some type of accent he couldn't place.

John grasped at the creatures wrist, his blunt nails digging into hard _grey_ skin. He tried to speak but nothing came out with the pressure the other had on his wind pipe.

"Grubfucker." The creature hissed, leaning close to John's face, causing the male to flinch at the intensity of crimson eyes that felt so damn familiar. "Did you think I didn't notice you? Why are you fucking following me?!" He slammed John back against the tree causing the male to flinch.

John saw no other choice; his chest was crushing with the lack of air. The hand he had wrapped around the others wrist suddenly burst with blue light and the creature hissed, retracting his hand quickly so John could fly into the air.

"I'm sorry!" He gasped, taking in gulps of air as he floated into the clearing of the others home. He pressed his palm against his throat, feeling a stickiness he knew was his own blood where those claws had scrapped along his skin.

"Mother of all shitstaining fuckbeasts, get back here!" The creature hissed, recovering from the attack to his wrist as he scrambled out of the forest to stand a bit under John.

"No, wait, please." John held his hands up in defense as he tilted his body to face the creature below him. "I didn't, I wasn't trying to hurt you! You just, You surprised me! And I, couldn't help... following you." John knew his explanation was stupid the moment it left his mouth.

"Oh my imbecilic shitting fuck on a mountain of incredible stupidity." The creature growled, a deep sound that left John a little breathless. His hands formed fists as his sides as he hunched down, those vibrantly red eyes still glaring up at the hero. "What do you want?!"

"Nothing! I just, I'd never see a troll before." John said, innocently enough.

The _troll's_ lips curled farther over sharp teeth as he snarled. "You idiotic bulgebite." He hissed and before John could move, the troll launched into the air. For the second time, John found his body knocked down with the heavy form of the troll. He gasped in pain when his back connected with the ground, the troll above him and those claws around his throat again.

"What do you want?!" He hissed, shaking John slightly, causing the human's head to knock against the ground.

John's hands went to the trolls' wrists again but the troll snapped those fangs at him and grasped his wrists with his free hand, pinning John's hands down above his head with long clawed fingers. "Ah, No, I don't-" He squeaked softly when his windpipe was cut off completely. He squirmed under the troll that straddled his waist and found he was actually thoroughly pinned. He didn't expect a troll to have so much strength. Even though they had similar body types and John had more obvious muscle than the taller troll, the later had the advantage considering John really didn't want to hurt him.

The deep dark growl that came from the trolls throat was far from human or anything John had ever heard in his life. His chest constricted, his mind going white for a second and all he could see was crimson. "Give me one shitsquatting reason why I shouldn't rip out your throat right now?" The troll hissed, his face not even an inch from John's as he loosened his grip just enough to give John the ability to plead for his life.

"B-Because" He strained to talk properly, "I'm a hero?" It really was more of a question than a reason.

But something in the trolls' expressions shifted. Crimson searched crystal blue for a good moment, those lips stilling in a snarl with less anger behind it. "Albion?" The word was spoken softly with no lip movement.

"Yes! From Albion. I'm from Albion. I," he swallowed hard, "I was just hunting the same deer as you. You got to it before me and I... I've never seen a troll before so I followed you. I am sorry about that. I didn't mean to cause you alarm. Honestly. I don't want to hurt you. I'm more curious than anything. I mean you-"

John was cut off when those long fingers clamped down over his mouth, finally releasing his wrists and throat. "Shut up for one crotchblistering second. Fuck, if I'd known you rambled so much I would have ripped your throat out already." John mumbled something beneath those grey hands but the troll was unable to make it out and he honestly didn't care. "Consider yourself very lucky, hero." The troll hissed before he pulled his hands away from John and got to his feet.

Truth be told, the troll didn't like having to leave the hero alive. After all, said hero knew exactly where he called home and probably too much for his own good. But Alternia and Albion had a long-standing peace treaty and the troll had no interest in causing more trouble than he already had. He growled in the back of his throat as he moved to stomp back over to his forgotten kill.

"W-Wait." John scrambled to his feet, not even bothering to brush the dirt from his blue clothes as he flew to catch up to the troll. "You're not going to kill me?" He asked, a bit surprised as he floated beside the troll who was trying his hardest to ignore the flying idiot.

"Go the fuck away." He hissed, cutting his eyes at the other through dark bangs.

"But I, I've never met a troll before! You can't blame me for being curious." John let his feet settle on the ground beside the troll only to notice he really was shorter than him. He did his best to not let that bother him. He was still growing, he'd get taller. Maybe taller than this troll if he was lucky. But he didn't expect them to be so tall.

"What part of 'go the fuck away' does your impudent human thinkpan not grasp?" The trolls words were hissed as he grabbed his fresh kill and started to gut it with his claws.

John's eyes widened in fascination as those long black claws cut through the belly of the deer effortlessly. "I've already proven I'm not going to hurt you, right? And you've chosen not to hurt me so, what's so wrong with learning about you? I always thought trolls were all gone, or at least lived so far back into the depths of Alternia that I'd never see one in the flesh." He spoke, his hand behind his back as he watched the troll.

"Ignorant worthless excuse for a thinkpan." The troll didn't seem to care about the blood that coated his hands as he grasped and tugged out organs, the same scowl on his face that John was starting to think would always be there. "Key word, human. Chosen. I can change my mind."

"You won't hurt me." John stated with a shrug causing the troll to hiss rather violently.

"Never said I wouldn't hurt you." He pointed out making John blink in realization.

"I don't mean to bother you but come on! Aren't you interested to? Or have you met a human before?" John tapped a finger to his chin as he came around to stand beside the troll, facing him though crimson eyes were focused on the deer, his claws slashing at the organs that fell out. "I mean, you're not that close to the border but I doubt I'm the first to wonder in these woods. So have you?"

"Fuck, you're annoying." He hissed softly, wrapping an intestine around his fingers before he tugged untill everything fell to the ground in a gross splatter. He was silent another few minutes as he set to work running his claws over the fur, skinning the deer better than John could have ever done with his magic. "Define met."

A smile came to John's lips and he bounced on his heels slightly. "Oh, like had a conversation with a human? Interacted with one? Like this." He flicked a hand between the two of them.

"Yes." The troll answered easily enough, his mind too focused on his task at hand.

John pretended not to feel the disappointment that piled in his stomach. "Oh, lucky human." He chuckled softly. "We haven't heard about troll sightings in centuries so... Wait, did you kill that human?" A sense of dread came over him, his eyes widening slightly.

The troll just snorted. "None of your grubfucking business. Ignorant humans. Assuming we're gone just because we remain in our own country."

"So there's more of you? A lot more?"

He tensed slightly, eyes cutting to the side at the human that was practically grinning at him. John looked so excited with his blue eyes sparkling and his bucked teeth biting into his lower lip against his grin. He shrugged, turning his attention back to the deer he was still skinning. "Fuck off." He hissed, his claws ripping at fur and skin.

"John."

The troll paused, tensing slightly while his claws sank into a bundle of skin and fur. "What?"

"My name! It's John Egbert." He said with a smile. "What's yours?"

"Like I'm going to tell you that."

"I told you mine." The pout could practically be heard in his voice.

The troll snorted, tossing the pelt of the deer into a basket beside the wooden table. "Cause your thinkpan isn't exactly screwed in right."

"Aw, come on. Tell me your name!"

"I'm not revealing such precious information to such a path-" He suddenly stopped himself, his lips curling into a deep scowl as his claws started to slash at the meat of the deer. "Just fucking go away already."

"I'll call you Mr. Troll untill you tell me your name."

He reeled, turning crimson eyes and a deep scowl on the human with a hiss. "You batshit goddamn douchesack." He hissed through pin sharp teeth that still didn't frighten John though perhaps they should have.

"My, what a filthy mouth you have Mr. Troll." John teased softly, pretty much convinced at that point that the troll wouldn't actually hurt him.

"How can you be such a shitlicking fuckstain?!" He turned on John with blood dripping claws, the rounds of his cheeks flushed with a dark red and his pupils growing.

Blue eyes widened slightly as he held his hands up. "Ah, wait, I'm just, I don't think sometimes. I'm sorry."

That seemed to piss the troll off even more. HIs lips curled farther up sharp and rather large front fangs and his eyes practically started to glow. "Make up your shitspewing mind!"

John was unsure what he was doing wrong and what he needed to make up his mind about. "I'm just trying to be your friend."

"Fuck off. I have that quadrant filled you worthless piece of flesh."

"Quadrant?"

"Argh!" The troll grumbled, turning back to the deer to finish up his work. "You're such an insufferable pile of trash."

"Hey! You don't need to be mean to me." John crossed his arms over his chest, narrowing his eyes slightly. He wasn't used to someone who was so rude; let alone someone who had the balls to even speak to him in such a way. It was... actually really refreshing. The troll just snorted at his words and focused on his work. "You're not going to tell me your name are you?"

"So there _is_ something in that thick thinkpan of yours."

John sighed softly, lifting a hand to scratch the side of his head. "Fine." He gazed over the troll as he set to work, cutting meat from bone with his claws. John thought to change the subject and considering the troll had yet to actually force him to leave, he saw no reason why he couldn't hang around a bit longer. There was something tugging at his chest to keep him there. He wasn't sure what it was, but it screamed at him to keep talking. "So, since you have all those really sharp teeth, it's safe to assume your diet mainly consists of meat?"

"Look at that, there actually is something up there." He mumbled, slicing through bloody meat.

John ignored that comment and glanced over to the small gardens scattered about in front of the cabin. "And vegetables? For taste?"

The troll sighed softly, feeling like perhaps he was losing control of his life. He knew the other wouldn't shut up if he didn't answer and he honestly didn't want to cause more fucking trouble. "I'd eat this meat raw if I fucking felt like it."

John took that as his answer while his eyes scanned over the multiple types of flowers. "And the flowers?"

"None of your grubfucking business."

The hero sighed softly, unable to keep the soft smile off his lips. He couldn't explain why he enjoyed the snappy comebacks the troll made, but he really did. He was used to people bending to his will because he was a hero. He was used to people bowing to him and being overly nice. But this troll... Was the complete opposite and there was something about that, that John really liked.

So he stayed. He watched the troll finish up cleaning and cutting the deer before stuffing the meat in a strange metal bin attached to the side of his cabin. John asked questions every now and then that were answered with short words and hisses. He didn't mind. He was learning bits and pieces about the troll. Oh Jake was going to be so excited when John told him he met a troll.

The hero followed the troll around as he went about his day and for some reason, the troll never bothered to make him leave. He expressed his discomfort with every word spoken but he didn't force John to leave. The hero took that as some form of progress. Even though the troll pretty much ignored him, John was happy to be near him. He was learning about a species he knew nothing about and it was fascinating to him.

John helped the troll water his garden from the personal well he had against the others protests and even helped pull some weeds. It was simple. Like how he had felt with Annabelle and Casey but this was different in some way. It was simple but there was something else underneath it all. Something he couldn't actually define but it was pleasant all the same; leaving a warm fluttering in his chest.

Hours passed. Hours John didn't even notice as he followed the troll around. Said troll just finally accepted the humans presence and tried the best he could to outright ignore it. He'd answer questions when they became to annoying to hear over and over again, but for the most part, John did the talking. A lot of talking. About himself, about his home, about his friends. Stuff the troll really cared nothing about. Simple things that meant nothing but he didn't stop the human from rambling. The deep rumble of his voice made the hours pass just a little quicker than normal.

"And then there's Jade. Everyone loves Jade." John laughed as he continued to speak, following the troll back toward his cabin. "She's like a sister to me really. Do trolls have family? Hard to believe you live all the way out here by yourself."

"And if I do?" The troll answered, his voice a bit subdued thanks to how tired he really was.

"Well that's... That's awfully lonely I think."

When the troll stopped walking, so did John, tilting his head at the creature in confusion. Crimson eyes narrowed slightly as he hissed softly. "Wait here." He mumbled and then disappeared into his cabin, shutting the door behind him.

John waited like the good person he was and was happy to find he didn't have to wait for long. The troll returned with a leather satchel in his hands that he quickly handed over to the human. John stared at it for a moment, the deep red flush on the trolls cheeks a bit surprised as he finally took it. "What's this?"

"Meat. You said we were hunting the same deer and since you've wasted your time here, you won't have a chance to get another on your way to wherever the shitfuck you're from."

"You're... sharing your kill?" He asked quietly, a hint of wonder in his tone.

Crimson eyes narrowed, the red spreading from his cheeks, over his button nose and to the tips of his pointed ears. "Shut up already and leave."

John glanced to the sky, noticing it would be dark rather soon and he needed to get back to Jake before the sun set. He did, in fact, need to leave. He bit his lower lip, turning to the troll with a faint frown. "Yeah, I do need to get going. Um, thank you. It's actually really nice of you."

"Don't mention it. Seriously, don't ever fucking mention it again." He hissed, crossing his arms over his chest and somehow managing to look even less intimidating to John.

The hero laughed softly, tugging the satchel over his shoulder. "So, does that mean I can come back?"

The strange red flush over grey skin seemed to deepen even more. "Don't expect a warm welcome if you do."

That wasn't a no. John grinned at the other, kicking off the ground to lift into the air. "Awesome. I'll see you around, Mr. Troll!" And with that John flew into the air, giving the troll a wave that was not returned. John didn't mind though. He'd made a new friend. Well, at least in his mind he had made a new friend. He was giddy as he flew over the trees back to Jake. A troll! He'd met a troll! How cool was that? He couldn't wait to tell Jake. For once, after a very very long time, John could finally _breathe._

* * *

After John disappeared over the tree tops, Karkat let out a tired sigh and stomped back into his one room cabin. He slammed the door shut behind him and slammed the bolt closed. He rested against the door, rubbing a hand over his face. He was tired. Exhausted really. He should have been in bed hours ago but for some fucking reason he couldn't actually make the human leave.

"What the shit is wrong with me?" He hissed, pushing off the door to drag the thick black curtains closed over the few windows his cabin had. "Letting that human follow me like a lost puppy." A lump formed in his throat, memories of long ago flashing in his mind. He shook his head, pushing them away as his cabin was drenched in comforting darkness. Trolls were nocturnal by nature but deer were not. The only reason Karkat had been awake during the day was to find meat for the week. He'd planned on going right to bed after getting his kill but that damned human kept him preoccupied. "Nothing's fucking changed." He grumbled, tugging off the black shirt from his torso to toss in the corner of his bedroom. It was covered in blood and dirt anyway. His black pants soon followed till he was down to equally black underpants.

"He better not come back. I'll rip his throat out if he does." He hissed to himself, kneeling on his bed to tug back the blankets. "Insufferable piece of human stinkfuck." He grumbled, laying down under the pile of blankets and curled into a ball, closing his eyes tightly. "Fuck." He whimpered softly. "This is not happening to me. Why does all the shitty stuff happen to me? Fuck." The familiar _rage_ that bubbled in his stomach was concerning. He wasn't ready for it. He wasn't ready to take on a human, let alone fill a quadrant with a stranger.

"Fuck." He mumbled the word a few more times before he finally slipped into his horrorterror filled sleep.

The troll was too wrapped up in his own head to notice the faint blue glow coming from the top drawer of his dresser across the room. A drawer that held something precious to him. Something that connected him with the human. Something they were both completely unaware of but would not be for much longer. Unless John didn't return. But well, they both knew he would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah I love Karkat. So much. And oh? What's this? What's that glowing thing? Hmmm I do wonder. And is Karkat feeling black for our hero already? It's possible!
> 
> Thanks for taking the time to read this. Don't forget to let me know what you thought! Expect much more JohnKat interaction from now on. It's gonna be fun!
> 
> ~Addy~


	4. Month 1- June- Troll 101

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this chapter was really hard for me to get out for some reason and then last night at about 3am it just came flooding like a storm. It was great. I'm pretty proud of this.
> 
> Warnings: Karkat's mouth as always and some hunting and killing of animals for food? It's a thing that happens a lot in this story?

"You sure you'll be fine on your own, mate?" Jake asked with a faint smile on his lips, a hand on his hip while his bag rested over his shoulder.

John flashed him a smile as he pressed two fingers to his forehead in a mock salute. "I'm sure."

"It's a troll though. What if he decides to turn on you?"

"Eh, he wouldn't do that." John waved a hand at him, sure of his own words. "He has a lot of bark but I have a feeling he's not really one to bite too much. Are you sure you'll be okay on your own? I feel a little bad about leaving you by yourself." He bit his lower lip, shifting from foot to foot as he glanced to the ground.

Jake let out a soft laugh and pat his hand against John's bicep. "You've found your temple, mate. Time to explore it."

He couldn't help the smile that came to his lips when he looked up into those beautiful green orbs. "Really? I mean, I don't know how much I'll learn. He seems pretty set on not letting me too close but I plan on trying!"

"That's the spirit!"

They shared a laugh that left John feeling a bit better about the situation. Jake had taken really well to the idea that John wanted to stay behind so he could see the troll again. Jake basically insisted that John stay and that made the hero rather happy.

"How far are you going to go?" John asked.

Jake hummed softly, turning his attention to the vast forest around them. "Until I find something worth exploring. Now that we know there are trolls out there, I wouldn't mind finding my own!"

"Good luck with that. Just be careful."

"Of course, mate." Jake nodded, lifting a hand to ruffle John's hair slightly. "I won't go too far. We've no idea what's really out there."

"Well, I'll be staying in Oakfield so stop by when you're leaving."

"Of course I will."

The two shared an awkward shrug before Jake pulled John into a rather warm and friendly hug that the latter eagerly returned. With that, they said their goodbyes for now and went their separate ways; John flying back to Oakfield and Jake heading deeper in the forest. They did not worry for the other. John knew Jake could handle himself against anything and Jake was convinced John was still growing with his magic.

The air was warm with a slight breeze that fluffed John's hair as he flew over the trees and back toward Oakfield. A smile rested on his lips for he was more than excited about this new situation. He was looking forward to seeing the troll again and hoped to at least learn his name, if not more about him. John was more than curious about the troll who lived alone in the woods. So many questions flowed through his head but he knew they would have to wait until he took care of a few things first.

"Hero!" Casey's excited call caught his attention as he slowed to a stop in the air, grinning down at the girl who was jumping up and down.

"Casey!" John swooped down, wasting no time as he gathered the little girl in his arms and gave her a hug. Her little arms and legs wrapped around him tightly as she screeched with laughter and excitement while they hovered a few feet above the ground.

"John!" Annabelle waved up at the hero from her spot on the ground, a kind smile on her face.

"Hello!" He lowered the two of them to the ground, feet landing in front of the young woman as Casey squirmed in his arms. "It's nice to see you again."

"You as well." The blonde woman's smile grew as she shifted the full basket in her hands. They stood not too far from the woman's home; along a long dirt path that connected to the Sandgoose. "Everything's alright, correct?" She tilted her head slightly in confusion as she glanced around. "I didn't expect to see you so soon. Where is Jake?"

"Ah, well, we went our separate ways." John waved off the worried look the woman gave him as he put Casey back on her feet. She giggled and started to run in circles around his legs, flapping at the tail of his hood as she passed. "Everything's great. I found something really interesting that I need to investigate more. So Jake's continuing into Alternia on his own."

"Oh. That's a relief then." She smiled, brushing a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. "Casey sure is happy to see you again. She's been asking about you a lot."

John smiled, lifting his arms slightly as he glanced around to watch the girl who now had a fascination with the tail of his blue hood. She was busy wrapping it around her face to make a mask like John had done not long ago. He laughed softly at her, letting her do as she wished. "Well, actually, I kind of have a favor to ask you. It's a really big one so feel free to say no." He gave the young woman a sympathetic smile.

"Ask away." Annabelle's face showed her confusion but a smile remained on her lips.

"This um thing that I have to investigate isn't that far from here. But it's far enough and well, I kinda missed Casey. I was hoping maybe you'd allow me to stay with you for a little while? At least until I can save up the money to rent a place. I'll do my best to help in any way I can."

Annabelle blinked one, twice and then a third time before a smile spread across her face. "Of course you're welcome to stay with us! You're welcome to as long as you please. Casey needs a man in her life like you." She nodded, her pale blue eyes sparkling with the gears in her head turning. "Are you planning to... make Oakfield your new home?"

"Ah." He chuckled softly, raising a hand to rub the back of his neck as he glanced to the sky. "If things go well with this investigation, it's possible."

Annabelle appeared to want to say more on the subject but she let it pass as she started to walk past him. "You're more than welcome to stay with us as long as you need." She patted his arm as she passed, motioning to Casey for the girl to follow her back to their little cottage.

"That's great!" John spun around, picking up the girl who was tangled in his hood. He let her rest on his hip as he used his free hand to unravel the tail from her head. She giggled once she was free and papped both of her palms against John's cheeks. The gesture struck him still for a few seconds, a flash of something in his mind that was gone as quickly as it had come.

"Hero stays with us?" Casey asked, a grin on her face.

"You bet I am!" He pressed his nose to hers and wiggled it slightly, causing the girl to release a string of giggles and squeals that made her mother laugh in amusement.

"Come on you two. It's almost dinner time." John grinned and quickly took off after the woman with her daughter in his arms.

* * *

Holding the sleeping girl in his arms gave John a sense of serenity that he'd never felt before. It was simple. So simple. Dinner with the two, cleaning up, reading to Casey before the girl fell asleep. It was simple and left a warm feeling in John's chest. Even though he was eager to return to the troll he'd met earlier in the day, he still felt a sense of calm with his current situation.

"Do you want me to take her?" Annabelle asked softly, a smile on her face as she stood in front of where John sat on the small couch.

"Oh, um, I've got her." He carefully moved to the edge of the couch before moving to his feet, cradling the girl in his arms without waking her up. He glanced to Annabelle who gave him a nod before he moved to the stairs. Casey mumbled in her sleep, pressing her face against his chest and thoroughly succeeded in stealing the hero's heart. He smiled fondly at her as he moved into her room, the sun set not long ago, coating the small room in a veil of darkness and moonlight. He carefully laid her on her little bed, tucking the sheets around her before brushing blonde hair away from her forehead. Something twisted in his chest. A strange feeling that left him a little concerned. Was this what a parent felt? But he was no parent. He just, cared for the little girl whose life he had saved. Would that be so wrong?

Biting his lower lip, John turned away from the slumbering child and slipped out of her room, leaving the door open a crack. He wasn't surprised to see Annabelle standing there with a smile on her lips.

"She's captured your heart, hasn't she?"

"Eh, is that what this is?" John tapped his fingers to his chest.

She just laughed softly reaching forward to pat his cheek much like Casey had done before. Again, it struck him still though the woman didn't seem to notice. "Nothing wrong with it, John. She's a master at wiggling her way into people's hearts. Has all the men in town wrapped around her little finger since she doesn't have a father. She's gonna be a heartbreaker when she's older."

John blinked in slight surprise. "I'm not even sure how I feel about that."

Annabelle covered her laugh with her hand, her pale blue eyes sparkling with amusement. "Oh, yes, John, you'll do just fine." She patted his shoulder as she moved past him. "Have a good night."

"Ah, um, you as well." He watched her disappear into her room before he moved to enter his. It was the same room he had shared with Jake and though it felt a little more empty this time, it was still much more comfortable than sleeping in the woods. Staying with Annabelle had many positives for the hero. Not only could he see Casey everyday, he got to sleep in a warm comfortable bed and still see the troll when he wanted to.

John fell asleep that night with the full intention of getting up early to go to the troll once again. He had questions that needed to be answered and a curiosity that needed to be filled. Not to mention the strange warmth that flooded his chest when he thought about the grumpy troll. Grumpy. John snickered to himself as he readied for bed. That would be a perfect name for the troll if he continued to refuse to give John his real one.

* * *

John bid Casey and Annabelle a temporary farewell before he flew off into the air over Oakfield. He wasted no time in flying over the vast expanse of woods toward where the troll lived. He followed the breeze and the mental map he had made in his head. The troll still lived a good distance away but it wouldn't take him long to arrive as long as he flew. The wind was in his favor, as it always was, and once he hit the wall of difference between Alternia and Albion, John could hardly contain his excitement. He had no worries that the troll would attack him again. Especially since he was sure the other was expecting him.

Once the small cabin and gardens came into view, John lowered toward the tops of the trees, the grin on his face a constant thing. The troll was nowhere to be seen as John lowered himself to the ground between two garden plots. Blue eyes glanced about before he sniffed the air. It smelt of rain that had yet to pass. He hummed softly before making his way to the door of the cabin. He paused at the door, glancing at the windows covered in black curtains. He didn't want to disturb the troll but he also had a fear that the troll wasn't home. He had to try. It wasn't too early. He was sure of it.

With a deep breath, John raised a fist and knocked three times against the wood. The sound wasn't too loud but enough for anyone within to hear. For a moment, he heard nothing and started to fear that the troll wasn't home. But then, there was a thump and the sound of shuffling that made him take a step back from the door.

"Jesus fucktits of a bastard cuntwaffle." The familiar mumbling on the other side of the door brought a smile to John's face. The door clicked a few times before it opened inward a crack, revealing a set of glowing crimson eyes that left John a little breathless. They were narrowed, a scowl on the trolls face as his fangs flashed at the other. "What in all of fucking ass shit to you want?"

"Told you I'd be back."

"Yeah and look at you. In your full fucking doofus glory." He grumbled, refusing to open the door anymore than it already was. "Ignorant pugant bag of useless flesh."

John rolled his eyes as he placed his hands on his hips. "Aw, come on Grumpy, you know you were expecting me."

The troll's lips curled in a snarl and a strange deep growl came from the back of his throat. "What did you just call me?"

"Grumpy. I like it better than Mr. Troll. Suits you."

"I swear to fuck why didn't I rip you apart when I had the chance." He mumbled, lifting a clawed hand to rub over his eyes and it was then that John noticed the male was shirtless. There wasn't much he could see between the small crack the troll had opened the door to but that much was obvious.

"Did I... Did I wake you?" John's expression quickly turned from amused to apologetic. "I didn't mean to. I thought you'd be awake. You were this time yesterday."

"Yeah, you shitspweing assbrain. Because I had to be."

John's brow furrowed. "Why?"

The troll hissed, shifting to push the door open a bit more as he leaned against the doorway, crossing his arms over his chest. "Because I was up late hunting."

"Up... late?"

"Oh holy blithering vacuous bastard." He grumbled, tilting his head to rest against the wood as well while those crimson eyes gave John a good glare. "Trolls are nocturnal you shitstain."

It was like a light went on in John's head. His expression lifted and his eyes lit up. "Oh! I had no idea! I just assumed because... Oh, crap, I'm sorry!" He bowed his head slightly in an apology. "That means I kept you up all day yesterday." And then another light went off. "Oh..." John glanced up to meet crimson eyes that were just begging for him to mention it. "Right." He stood up straight, rubbing the back of his neck shyly. "Um, I'll let you sleep then. Sorry to bother you, Grumpy."

"Karkat."

John blinked, raising a dark eyebrow at the word the other basically spat at him. "What?"

"My fucking name you asswipe. Karkat Vantas. Memorize it. I'm not repeating myself again to a worthless bag of scum."

"Karkat." John tried the name on his tongue and found he rather liked it there. A smile spread to his lips that made something in Karkat's expression darken. "Right, well, I'll let you sleep then. You really seem to need it." He noticed the dark bags under the trolls eyes but didn't point them out anymore than he already had. "I'll, um, come back later?"

Karkat hissed, baring a fang as he pushed off the door frame. "Do what you damn well please."

The hero chuckled softly. "Okay. See you later then." He said as he pushed off the ground and into the air to hover slightly.

"Fucking douchewaffle." Karkat grumbled before slamming the door shut.

John stared at the door for a few more minutes before he flew into the air and made his way back to Oakfield. He wasn't disappointed that he wasn't going to spend the day with the troll. If anything, he was now even more excited. He had his _name_. Karkat. Such an interesting name. He wondered if all trolls had such interesting names. John hoped to find out eventually.

He didn't want to rush their friendship and to John, it was most definitely a friendship. Though the troll saw it differently; the human was oblivious. John felt that as long as the troll was willing to have him in his presence than the hero would stick around. He had a feeling Karkat had no intention of forcing him away. After all, if he did, he would have done so already.

With a smile on his face and a warm heart, John returned to Oakfield to busy himself with odd jobs around town until night fell. Oakfield had missed having a hero around and John was ready to fill that role.

* * *

Karkat was coming out of his cabin when John appeared over the trees. The vibrant blue of his outfit stood out even in the darkness. The moon was almost full, lighting the area in a pleasant glow and gave the blue of his outfit an even more pleasant glow. A glow Karkat was drawn to for a few seconds as the grinning hero swooped down to land on the ground not to far away from him.

"Hey Karkat!"

The troll felt the urge to growl and rip off that smile from the other's face. He forced those feelings down and simply offered the other a glare in greeting. "Why are you here?"

John blinked in slight surprise. "I thought we'd spend some time together."

"Don't your useless kind sleep this time?"

"Mostly? But, we don't have to. I'm not a bit tired!" The hero placed a smile on his face as his hands went to his waist.

"I don't have time to entertain a shitstain like you." He growled softly, waving a clawed hand at him as he moved past him. "I have shit to do."

"Can I help?" John bounced on his toes for a few seconds before he spun around to follow the troll.

"No."

"Aw, come on, Karkat. Let me help you."

The troll let out a deep growl, his hands forming fists as he approached a row of purple flowers. "I don't need it."

John hummed. "I know that. You could do anything on your own. I'm just offering my assistant because... well, cause I want to spend time with you."

"Another fucking miracle." John didn't fail to notice the way that word fell into a hiss and his body basically crumbled into itself slightly.

"Karkat?"

"Fuck you." The troll growled, snatching up a bucket as he dropped to his knees beside the flowers. Though his shoulders were shaking slightly, Karkat seemed to have recovered from whatever had just happened. "You're an annoying piece of shit and I don't have time to deal with you."

"Welp, I'm not going anywhere." John stated firmly as he dropped to his knees beside the troll.

Karkat just snarled as he started to dig and tug out the weeds that had started to grow in the flower bed. "Asswipe."

John smiled softly and reached forward to help the male pull weeds that were then tossed into the bucket. "Grumpy."

A hiss and a weed thrown to his face made John laugh softly. "Don't fucking call me that. I have a name. Goddamn use it."

"Yeah, I like your name. Karkat." John said as he brushed the dirt from his shirt and tossed the weed into the bucket before leaning forward to pull one of his own. "Do all trolls have interesting names like that?"

"I don't see how my name is interesting." He grumbled softly, motioning for John to pull a weeds a little farther from him. John did as asked, moving a little farther down the flower bed.

"Mine's John. Like, how boring is that?" The hero chatted as he pulled at weeds. "I was named one of the most common names in Albion for the simple fact that the soldiers didn't know what else to call me. But Karkat? That's a really cool name. I doubt there's anyone else out there that has your name."

Karkat shrugged, rolling his shoulders as he shifted to flatten out the soil from where the weeds had been pulled. "Fuck if I know." Crimson eyes glanced at the hero who was fully focused in what he was doing. "Why did soldiers name you?"

"Oh, cause I didn't have a family. Not like the other heroes who were found and given a family. I was on my own for a really long time. I mean, apparently wolves took care of me? I don't remember much. The soldiers of Mourningwood found me when I was about seven. No idea _how_ they found me. But they took me in and humanized me. Named me too."

"Thought Albion lost all their heroes."

"We did for a while. But about thirty years ago or so, we started popping up. Myth is we actually were born from the soil." John shrugged, a smile on his face when he glanced up to meet curious crimson that quickly glanced away.

Karkat's movements were stiff now as he patted at the soil and check the condition of his flowers. "Dirty ass humans then."

John snorted softly. "Yeah, I guess. Hey Karkat?"

"What."

"Why _do_ you have so many flowers?"

"None of your goddamn business, Egbert."

"Alright."

* * *

"If you fucking insist on coming with me you better shut that bucktoothed mouth of yours and do as I say." Karkat hissed at the hero as the two made their way into the woods.

"I'm a skilled hunter, Karkat. I know what I'm doing." John had shown up just before sunrise for the simple fact that he knew the troll would be hunting.

"Coulda fucking fooled me." The troll hissed softly as he crouched down before leaping into a tree, landing effortlessly on a branch.

John watched with fascination as he lifted into the air. Though he didn't feel as though he had accomplished much in a week, John was sure that his relationship with the troll was growing. It was safe for him to call Karkat his friend even if the troll outright refused to accept this. John showed up every night after sunset and the two would go about the night as Karkat always did.

Which meant a lot of gardening, some hunting, some cleaning and even some exploring. Karkat was convinced John would bore of it one day but really the hero was having a bit too much fun to ever be bored. He found being around the troll was just fun on its own. Because even though Karkat loved yelling obscenities at him, John could always feel a tone of amusement in his voice. Or maybe John was just crazy. Cause Karkat was sure he hated the annoying human. In a way that made his troll senses tingle with excitement.

Karkat suddenly launched forward and John watched in slight awe as the troll leapt from branch to branch. It was similar to how Jake would travel but there was something so different about the way Karkat moved. Something so inhuman about the way his limbs and muscles moved in pretty much everything he did. John never forgot that Karkat was a troll but sometimes, the differences stood out more often than not.

As John flew in the air, careful to follow Karkat's movements and remain alert for anything they could kill, his blue orbs remained mainly on the troll. Karkat moved fast, quiet and deadly. So deadly and John had seen first hand what he was capable of. Though the human was also aware there was much more to what Karkat was capable of than what he'd seen. And honestly, John wanted to see more. He felt a strange thrill in watching Karkat move. His limbs just a bit longer than a humans, his muscles placed differently and moved differently. It was... thrilling.

The hero quickly pushed his strange thoughts about the troll away when Karkat suddenly stilled midway in launching off another branch. John froze in the air, his senses on high alert as the wind shifted to accommodate him. Karkat's nose crinkled and his head tilted back just slightly to sniff the air. The black, cat-like pupils of his eyes dilated just enough to gain John's attention before the troll was off again, moving faster than before.

It wasn't too hard for John to keep up though Karkat became a black blob in his vision. He whizzed past trees, twisting and turning his body to avoid hitting any stray branches and he was sure he'd never flown so fast in his life. It felt wonderful and left a warm bundle in the pit of his stomach.

Suddenly, Karkat veered off to the left and John nearly clipped a tree to keep up with him. The hero thought about asking the troll for a race one day but that thought fluttered away when said troll came to a screeching halt on a branch, his side pressed against the trunk of the tree as if he could melt into it. John bit his lower lip and moved to hover beside the troll but far enough away as to not bother him.

Crimson eyes focused on the two deer a good bit away, the first streams of sunlight catching on their golden fur. They were nibbling on some bushes, one a buck, the other a doe. Excitement caught in John's throat and he glanced at Karkat to see the troll was already looking at him. Karkat tilted his head in the direction of the deer, his eyes glancing to them for only a second before moving back to John's.

Excitement flowed through his veins, settling in a warm swirl in his chest at the thought that Karkat wanted him to help. He had planned on it anyway but it meant more that the troll was actually asking for his help. In his own way. John nodded, smiling softly as he allowed the wind to shift to their advantage. For a moment, the deer looked up from their breakfast, glancing around in confusion at the sudden shift in the air. But then, food caught their attention again and they were back to eating their berries.

Crimson met crystal blue and held for a good ten seconds before Karkat was gone. John blinked in slight surprise before quickly moving to his own position, flanking the deer. Karkat was a fisticuffs kinda killer while John prefered to keep his distance when it came to hunting. If they were going to do this right, they had to attack at the right time and at the same time. Otherwise, one of the deer would get spooked though John was certain Karkat could bring it down quickly enough. Perhaps that was what the troll was counting on?

John settled in a tree high above the deer who had no idea they were being watched. Karkat was nowhere to be seen but the hero was sure he wasn't far away. John lifted his hand, twisted his wrist slightly and a soft blue glow began to form around his fingers. He wiggled and twisted those fingers until his blue flaming arrow formed. He crouched down, careful not to make a sound as he brought the arrow near his line of sight and aimed at the doe. She was closer to him and with the way Karkat took, John was certain he was going after the larger buck.

And then something snapped. The sound of a twig being stepped on echoed through the trees and thoroughly spooked the deer. John hissed and wasted no time in sending off his arrow. Luckily, it was magic and followed the doe before it could even get to far. It struck home and the deer thumped to the ground. The buck took off so John flew in the air after it only to see the black shadow that followed it. He hung back, watching as Karkat leapt from tree to tree, back and forth, over the deer.

Then he launched himself. The deer and the troll came to a rolling bundle on the ground that John couldn't make out in the dark shadows. The buck let out a few loud noises of distress before the harsh sound of claws digging into flesh could be heard. John swooped down under the trees toward Karkat. The troll had managed to take down the buck easily and stood above it, wiping his claws clean on the fabric of his pants.

The smile on John's face was unable to be contained as the hero landed on the ground softly beside the other. "Hey, we make a good team."

Karkat hissed, baring his bloody teeth at the other before wiping his mouth with the black sleeve of his shirt. "Fuck you."

John hummed. "You know, if it wasn't for the blood smeared on your lips, I'd think you were coming on to me." He teased lightly, used to the phase. It wasn't like Dave or Dirk had never used it before though it was peppered in Karkat's vocabulary more than probably any other word.

But the way that Karkat froze caused John slight alarm. For a moment, the troll's cheeks flushed a rather lovely red and John was left wondering if he'd said something inappropriate. Then those plump lips curled over sharp fangs and Karkat let out a deep gutterly growl as he turned to pick up his kill and toss it over his shoulder. "Why do I put up with a cuntface like you? Jesus fucking hell what is wrong with my thinkpan? Something motherfucking serious." He grumbled to himself.

"Bah, shh, Karkat, you like me and you know it." The hero waved a dismissing hand at the other as he took into the air again to fly back to his own kill. The doe laid peacefully on the ground, no blood to be seen. Not like Karkat's kill. So very bloody. John lifted the deer and tossed it over his shoulder just as Karkat had done before lifting into the air. Karkat appeared just as his feet left the ground. "You want me to carry it? We're pretty far away from the cabin."

Karkat just grumbled something about "useless sack of scum" before he launched into air and took off over the branches like he'd done when hunting. John was surprised to see how easily Karkat could move even with the heavy weight of his buck. That was interesting to know. With a shrug, John followed after the troll, happy to know that they would both eat well for the next few weeks thanks to their kills.

* * *

"No, fuck, you insufferable douchewaffle. Like this." Karkat's claws felt cold over John's hand as the troll lead him to move the clippers in the right spot. The hero didn't fail to notice the way his heart leap slightly when the troll pressed against him, trying to teach the other how to groom the flowers correctly. "Just twist it a little and snap them. Don't cut too close or you'll fuck em up. And just cut off the dead parts." He instructed as he pressed down on John's hand, making the human close the clippers over a brown steam that then fell to the ground. "See? Easy. Even a junglehumping grubshit like you can do it." He mumbled before removing himself from John's personal bubble.

The human blinked at the other before nodding and leaned forward to do as Karkat had instructed. "Okay, yeah, I can do this."

"Thank fucking christ." Karkat growled as he picked up his own pair of clippers and moved to start grooming a rather large and beautiful purple flower. Purple was really a pattern when it came to his flowers though there was a good amount of yellow and green. There were a few other colors spattered about. Like red, pink, white and even blue. But purple took over for the most part. And John still wanted to know what such a seemingly rough troll had such a delicate hand with these flowers. John knew there was a story behind them and he had yet to get it from the other.

"Hey Karkat?"

"For shits sake, what now." Crimson eyes glanced at his before focusing on his job at hand.

"Why do you have so many flowers?"

Karkat let out a frustrated sight at the question. A question he'd heard at least ten times since he met the human a few weeks ago. A question Karkat always gave the same answer to. "None of your grubfucking business."

"You keep saying that but see, here I am, being the rather kind friend that I am, helping you tend to these lovely flowers that seem to mean so much to you, and yet, I have no idea why. Friends share, Karkat. So share."

The hiss received made him wince slightly. "I am not whatever this sick insignificant thing is that you call 'friend'."

John hummed, letting the clippers rest in his lap as he peered around the flower to look at the troll. "Then what do you call this?"

"Nothing. It's nothing." And something about the way Karkat's eyes narrowed and his red tinted cheeks told John something else.

"Eh? I think you're lying to me."

"Why do you give a flying sack full of shit?"

"Because we're friends! And if you think otherwise, that's something we need to fix right now." John shifted into the air, swooping around the flowers carefully to land on the ground beside Karkat. "Do you know what 'friend' means?"

"What does that matter?" Crimson eyes glared at him for a good few seconds before Karkat returned to grooming his flower.

"Well you can't say you're not something when you don't know what it means. A friend is... Hm, a friend is when you..." John bit his lower lip and settled back on his heels as he thought about it. "A friend is someone you care about. Someone you spend time with and enjoy spending time with. Someone you do things with because you like to. We're friends." He flicked a hand between the two of them.

"I do not spend time with you because I enjoy it, Egbert. Memorize that shit. I spend time with you because you don't give me any other grubfucking choice!" He hissed, baring his teeth at the human.

"I think you enjoy spending time with me. Otherwise, you would have pushed me away."

A groan came from the troll as he pressed the palm of his hand to his forehead. "You annoying pat-" He cut himself off, shaking his head as he tossed the clippers to the side. "That's not what this is!" He hissed, twisting his body to face the male kneeling beside him.

"Then what is it? To you?" John asked with true curiosity and the most innocent look on his face ever.

Plump lips curled over sharp fangs as Karkat clawed at his pants to keep his anger in check. "You've been annoying the shit out of me and you don't even know a thing about my kind, do you?"

"Only what you've told me."

"Maybe, it would be a good fucking idea to do some research."

"But I wanted to learn from you. In person. It's not like any books I might find will give me the right information."

Sharp teeth gritted together as the troll narrowed his eyes. "Then allow me to educate you." John flinched back slightly when Karkat suddenly lifted a hand with four claws sticking up while his thumb was tucked against his palm. "There are four quadrants to troll relationships."

"What?" John asked, his eyes widening slightly. "What does that mean?"

Karkat's shoulders slumped slightly as his hand moved to have only one claw up. "First, there's Kismesissitude, the caliginous quadrant, or better known as Blackrom." His eyes narrowed slightly. "This is when two trolls equally hate one another but also have a strong sense of sexual attraction."

John's eyebrows shot up. "So, like, hate-fucking?"

He hissed softly. "If that's what your stupid human mush thinkpan comes up with, then yes. Hate-fucking. But it's a relationship. A full-fledged relationship."

"Sounds... unhealthy. Like, doesn't that get pretty bad? I've never hated anyone in my life but wouldn't that get really violent? And bloody?"

"That's what the second quadrant is for." John failed to notice the strange look of disappointment in Karkat's eyes as he raised his second claw. "Auspisticism, the ashen quadrant. Basically, an auspistice is the mediator between the quadrants. Keeping peace and whatnot, making sure trolls are doing what they're supposed to be doing and not straying."

"Sounds... strange? Like why would you need someone to tell you to love your lover?"

"Because trolls are really fucked up creatures, okay?" He hissed before raising a third finger. "Third, is Moirallegiance, the pale quadrant. And in my opinion, the most important one. When one becomes moirails with another, they are there to guard the other for life. Be there for the other without judgement or fear. To be the one they can always talk to and rely on. Basically, it's a really strong fucking bond that can last a lifetime and rip you apart when it's broken."

John narrowed his eyes in confusion, tilting his head slightly at the way Karkat's eyes flashed with something. "And it has nothing to do with love?"

"Completely platonic. Though some pity is involved I guess." The troll shrugged, moving to lift another finger but John grabbed his hand, keeping him from doing so.

"Hold on. So this moirail-whatever. It's like, best friends right? The person closest to you that's not romantic in any way? Someone you can always count on and whatnot?"

Karkat narrowed his eyes in suspicion. "Yes, I suppose."

A smile came to John's face. "Okay." He released Karkat's hand and let his own hands rest in his lap. "Continue."

Crimson searched blue for a good moment before the troll decided to continue with his lesson. "Fourth," he raised his fourth claw, "Is Matespritship, the flushed quadrant or redrom. Where trolls have an immensely strong feeling of affection for one another. Where they pity the fuck out of each other and make goo-goo eyes and shit."

"So love."

"No, pity."

"You don't pity the person you love, that's not how love should work."

"Trolls don't love, you asswipe. We pity."

"Is pity to trolls what love is to humans?"

"Fuck if I know."

"Do you have all these romances at once?"

"Sometimes. Depends how motherfucking lucky you are." Karkat crossed his arms over his chest, tucking his hands against his sides as he turned back to the flower.

"So that's... four relationships at once? Isn't that... crazy?"

"No."

"Huh." John let his shoulder drop as he took the time to take this new information in. "Okay. So, do you have any of those relationships?"

"Does it fucking look like I do?" The troll hissed.

John eyed Karkat's profile, taking in the rounded cheeks, button nose and plump lips. It wouldn't surprise the hero if Karkat had at least one quadrant filled. It wasn't like the troll was lacking in looks or anything. "You said there are thousands of other trolls out there. And you're telling me you don't have any of them?"

The sigh Karkat released sounded more sad than angry. "No. I live in the middle of the fucking woods, miles away from anyone else. That should be your goddamn answer."

"Oh." John tilted his head to get a better look at Karkat's face but the troll turned away, hiding most of his face with thick fluffy black hair. "Well, what are _we_ then?"

Karkat's shoulders tensed at the question. "I just took time out of my worthless life to explain quadrants to you and you still don't fucking know?"

"Um." John blinked, rolling the new information in his head though none of it really stood out to him. Honestly, he was still really confused about the four way relationship thing. He made a mental note to look it up some more when he got the chance. Or ask Rose. She seemed to know a lot more about trolls than John did. Jake too for that matter but even branching the subject of romance with the male would be a little too much for John. "Pale?"

Karkat reeled, his lips curling back in a hiss and before John could stop it, his back connected to the ground and there was a troll on top of him, claws around his neck and knees pinned into his side. "Like you would ever be fucking good enough to replace him you insufferable piece of pathetic scum."

John winced, his hands going to Karkat's forearms in an attempt to sooth him. The troll was practically seething atop him, crimson eyes glowing and lips curled back so far they were barely visible. John had a thought. A strange thought that came out of no where. A hand lifted and John tapped the palm of his hand against Karkat's cheek.

The troll stilled, his eyes rolling back in his head slightly before he went a little limp, his grip on John's neck loose. Before the human could do it again, Karkat slapped his hands away and quickly rolled off him. "You fucking cuntbag!" He hissed, though the venom was lacking in his tone. "Who told you could do something so fucking-" He hissed, getting to his feet slowly as John did the same. "Don't ever do that again or I'll rip your skin from your bones!"

"Karkat, I'm sorry." He held his hands up in defense. "I didn't; I don't know where that came from. Please don't be mad at me. I just-I thought it would calm you."

"Fuck you! You're not allowed to fill that quadrant with me you insane seedflaphumping fuckmouth."

"I wasn't trying to!"

"Don't _ever_ pap me again, do you understand Egbert?" And the pure hate that dripped from those words left John a little breathless.

"I won't! I promise. I'm so sorry." Though he truly had no idea why the papping caused Karkat such distress, John still felt guilty that he had bothered the troll at all.

"You infuriating sack of shit." Karkat hissed, his shoulders limp as he tried to regain control over his senses once again. "That's fucking unfair."

"I didn't mean to." John whined softly, taking a few tentative steps toward the other. When Karkat didn't flinch or move to run or attack him, John closed the distance between them to peer into Karkat's face. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm batshitting perfect!" The troll hissed, gaining his anger back.

John bit his lower lip and rubbed the back of his neck. "I really am sorry Karkat. I thought it would calm you down for some reason."

"That's what papping does you shitstain."

"Wait, so I _did_ calm you down?"

"Yes!" He hissed, his crimson eyes glowing as he started to stand up straight. "And that's really fuckshitting unfair of you to do."

"Unfair? How? You attacked me. Which, by the way, I still don't understand!"

"You horseshitting nookwhiffing asswipe." Karkat snarled before grabbing the collar of John's hood and pulled him close, their bodies pressed together as the slightly taller troll used his height to his advantage. "I didn't think your kind could be so goddamn stupid." He hissed, claws scraping along John's collarbone as he pulled him closer till their mouths sealed together.

John was still all of about five seconds before the wind reacted and literally shoved Karkat away from him and into the trunk of a tree. His lips tingled with something strange and all he could do was gape at the hissing troll.

"What the actual fuck, Egbert?! Using magic is completely unfair." He groaned, growled and hissed as he got to his feet again.

"You... You kissed me!" The hero pointed a stunned finger at the approaching troll.

Karkat just rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah, that's a thing that just happened. Glad you fucking noticed before you threw me into a goddamn tree with your batshit wind!" He threw his hands up in anger as he stalked back to the hero.

"I don't..." John's eyes widened in realization. "I don't hate you, Karkat!"

The troll hissed as he came to a stop a few steps away from the other. "You should. You will." A strange smirk, something John had never seen, curled on those plump lips. "With your strength and magic, it'll be motherfucking beautiful too."

"You... But I..." John shook his head, the gears within it twisting and spinning, trying to make sense of it all. "You hate me?"

"Consider it an honor."

John spluttered. "An honor?! I thought we were friends Karkat! How is you hating me an honor?!"

Karkat sighed softly, his eyes rolling as he crossed his arms over his chest. "It's a troll thing." And a thing Karkat had a hard time coming to terms with himself, not that John knew anything about that. "Look, it is how it is. Nothing's changed except now you know." He shrugged slightly.

The hero let that sink in for a moment. "Wait... So this... This _is_ something."

"Yes."

"And... it means... I can keep coming by?"

"Be boring if you didn't."

Something warm filled his chest at Karkat's admission. "So... You hate me, but you're attracted to me?"

"The attraction is in the hate, fucktard."

John swallowed hard. "Okay. I guess... I can live with that for now. But, I'll never hate you Karkat. You have to know that."

"I'm highly aware."

"Okay." The hero nodded before turning back to look at the flowers. "So, um, we should get back to work?"

"Flowers won't groom themselves." Karkat said with a shrug before moving to return to his spot on the ground.

John did the same, going back to the flower he'd been working on but his mind was a jumbled mess. His wasn't the only one however. Though John was trying to wrap his head around what blackrom even meant; Karkat was coming to realize he probably would never get the full thrill of a blackrom from the human. In fact, Karkat was sure that whatever it was he felt for the human, wasn't as black as it first seemed. Whatever it was, he was willing to push it into the black corner and see where it went. Because he was no where near ready to fill his pale quadrant again. Or so he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhh Ohhhhh. What's this? Is this blackrom happening? Well, One-sided at least. But hey, look at that. Finally a kiss. I didn't plan that. I just happened. I love how Karkat is turning out in this story. Very much. 
> 
> Next chapter? More JohnKat fun. And John learns more about what it means to be in the black quadrant with a troll like Karkat.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Be sure to let me know what you thought. Comments are great since you can only kudo a story once. 
> 
> ~Addy~


	5. Month 2 - July: Part 1- Blackrom 101

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I totally didn't just finish this. And I totally didn't write way more than I meant to so I had to split up the month of July into two chapters. Nope. That's not a thing that happened. Nopeeeeee.
> 
> Warnings: Blackrom. Enough said. Emotions and plot development.

The sun was just starting to set as John's feet landed on the ground. He'd left his hero outfit behind, something he'd started to do for a while now. He wore simple slacks and a blue shirt that fit him well. Blue orbs glanced over the gardens around the cabin before he moved forward to the closed door. Usually Karkat was up by the time he came by but John arrived a little early this day thanks to his excitement. He had good news for the troll and he was eager to share it.

But when he raised his hand to knock on the door he heard a strange sound that came from within. He paused, narrowing his eyes slightly as he leaned a little closer to hear the sounds better. There was a series of clicking noises, a few growls and chirps in a voice John recognized as Karkat's. He tilted his head in curiosity, leaning closer to the door to hear better. The strange noises had a musical note to them and John was left wondering if Karkat was singing in his language.

The idea made the hero's heart thump and his face to flush a light red. Was Karkat signing in Alternian? John had heard the male curse a few times in his native language but really, Karkat stuck to the same language that John did. The troll was fluent in it and that made John wonder even more. If Alternians had their own language, why was a troll like Karkat fluent in Albion's? It dawned on John then that even though he was working on knowing Karkat for over a month, he still knew absolutely nothing personal about the troll. But not for a lack of trying. Karkat was just dead set on not telling the human anything personal no matter how hard John tried.

" _And if tonight ever makes a difference. The way that I feel. The way that I'll remember it. I'll take this down. Till the glass remains. Swallow the words that I was meant to say."_

John was frozen to the spot at the soft melody that reached his ears through the door. Karkat's voice was soft, silky and _beautiful_. His heart thumped a bit more, a hand pressing to the door when the troll's voice faded back into beautiful chirps and clicks. He wanted to hear more. No, he _needed_ to hear more. Because that voice sparked something deep within him. Flashes of a memory long since forgotten that he couldn't place. That voice was familiar. Why was it familiar? John needed to know.

"Shit!" Karkat gasped in surprise as he pulled the door open to find a stunned John on the other side.

The two stared at each other with wide eyes for a few minutes before Karkat relaxed, his crimson eyes narrowing as he stepped out of his home, forcing John to move backwards. He shut the door behind him, glaring down at the other male with a frown on his face.

"The fuck were you doing just standing out here?"

"You..." John licked his lips and swallowed hard against his dry throat. "You _sing_?!" John gasped, suddenly pushing forward to grasp Karkat's shoulders, his eyes bright and a smile on his face. "That was beautiful!"

"What?" Karkat snapped, his eyes widening slightly as he pushed John's hands off of him. "What in all of grubfucking hell are you talking about?" He mumbled, the tips of his slightly pointed ears turning red as he pushed past John.

"You were singing!" John bounced after the troll, a grin on his face as he matched his pace. "I didn't know you could sing. It was so pretty. And familiar..." Karkat's shoulders tensed, his hands forming fists at his sides as he picked up his pace toward the gardens. "I didn't know you could sing. I sure can't. I sound like a dying Hobbe. But you! Karkat that was lovely!"

"Shut up, Egbert." Karkat gave a warning hiss as he snatched the pail from beside the small well in the middle of the garden.

"Aw, come on, Karkat. " John stepped up beside the troll who was busy getting water from the well. "Don't be shy. What song was that? I don't hear you speak Alternian often but that was really pretty. It sounded like a love song."

"Trolls don't love, ass-shit." He grumbled.

"Well, what was it then? It sounded familiar..."

"Why would it sound familiar?" He mumbled as he tugged the full pail of water from the well to sit on the ground beside his feet.

"You know, that's the strange part." The hero shifted to lean back against the well, his hands resting on the edge as he watched Karkat fill another pail. "I don't know. Seriously though, that was pretty Karkat. You can really sing."

The troll just shrugged as he lowered another pail down into the well. John watched him in thought, watching the way the trolls muscles moved and the way his face turned slightly red. He hummed softly, waiting until Karkat placed another full pail on the ground beside the other before he spoke again.

"So, what song was it? And why don't you speak Alternian all the time?"

"Your mush of a thinkpan wouldn't understand if I did."

"Well, Yeah I know that. But, I guess I never thought about that fact that you're so fluent in English. Are all trolls or is that just a Karkat thing?"

"It's uncommon for trolls to know other languages."

John hummed softly. "And the song?"

Karkat released a hiss, picking up a pail that he then shoved into John's chest. The human gasped at the splash of cold water against his shirt as he took the pail in his hands. "None of your grubfucking business." The troll snatched the other pail from the ground before heading over to the garden.

John resisted the urge to pout as he followed the other. He wasn't sure when things would finally be considered his business or if they ever would. The hero had hope however. Their friendship was only just beginning and John was sure that eventually, Karkat would be willing to tell him personal things about himself. The two become so busy with watering the flowers that John forgot to tell Karkat his good news.

* * *

"We're going to miss you." Annabelle said with a soft smile.

John chuckled softly, rubbing the back of his neck as he ruffled Casey's hair. "I'm not that far away. Just up the road." He motioned to the cottage not far away. "You can visit any time."

"Really?" Casey bounced on her heels, her pale blue eyes wide with hope.

"Of course! I know I have the weirdest sleep schedule, but I'll always want to see you." He said as he bent down to her level, his hand resting on her head. "So even though I'm moving, I'll still be close by, okay?"

Tears welled up in the little girl's eyes before she launched herself at the hero. John caught her effortlessly, a smile on his face as he hugged the girl tightly. "You won't leave me?"

John glanced at Annabelle who held tears in her eyes as she nodded at the hero. He returned the nod, petting Casey's hair softly. "You bet I won't. Oakfield's my home now!" He pulled back, giving the sniffling girl a smile. "I have to return to Bowerstone for a few days now and sometimes, I'll have to leave on quests. But I'll always come back here. I have three very important people here."

"Me and Momma!" Casey said with a grin, clapping her hands.

"That's right. You two are important to me."

"And Mr. grumpy troll!"

John chuckled softly. "Yup. He's _very_ important to me." John failed to notice the look Annabelle gave him as he stood up straight, patting Casey's head. "I actually have to go see him now. Before I leave for Bowerstone. He has no idea what I've done."

"It's important you tell him." Annabelle said with a nod, stepping up beside her daughter. "I'm sure he'll be happy."

"Ha, I'm not sure Karkat's capable of being happy." He said with a shrug, brushing off the flush on his cheeks as he lifted the satchel over his shoulder from the ground. "But I'm hopeful."

"Good." She gave him a soft smile that he returned. "Have a safe trip, John."

"Thanks. For everything." He wasted no time in stepping forward to wrap the young woman in a tight hug. "I mean it."

Her hands patted his back gently. "Anytime, John. I'm happy you're staying."

He gave her a grin when they pulled apart. "Me too. See you soon." He said with a nod as he pushed off the ground and into the air. "Take care!" He returned the waves the two on the ground gave him before he took off into the air and over the trees.

Telling Karkat that he'd bought a home in Oakfield and was going to make the place his home was something John had meant to do. But when he was around Karkat, the thoughts always fluttered away from his mind. All he could focus on was the troll and even though the news was good news, it always left his mind until he was away from the troll. It wasn't like he was worried Karkat would be bothered by it but he wasn't entirely sure how the troll would react.

John hadn't bought the home in Oakfield just to stay close to Karkat. Or so he convinced himself. Casey was there as well. The little girl who stole his heart. The little girl he'd come to love like a daughter and would hate to ever leave behind. Bowerstone was boring to John now. It had been his home for a long time. And though Rose and Roxy where there, Karkat was Oakfield. If he had the cool warp power like Jade, John wouldn't even worry about where he called home. But he didn't and though he could fly, calling Oakfield his home was the best option for him.

The tail of his hero outfit snapped in the wind behind him as he flew over the trees, the sun close to setting, casting the world in beautiful oranges and blues. John was early, he was aware of that, but he needed to leave at dark to get to Bowerstone by morning. He just hoped Karkat wouldn't mind being disturbed from his sleep a little early as he swooped down toward the cabin.

The flowers were growing beautifully and John couldn't help but pause to admire a few as he headed toward Karkat's door. He still had no idea why they were so important to the troll but he looked forward to finding it out. He smiled softly to himself as he moved to the door. He heard no movement from inside and winced to himself slightly as he knocked on the door. The inside of the cabin remained quiet so John knocked a few more times.

"Cumguzzling piece of testicle trash." The grumble was soft but made John smile. There was a thump, the sound of heavy footsteps, locks clicking and then the door wrenched open to reveal an annoyed sleepy troll. "The fuck Egbert." He hissed, lips pulling over sharp teeth.

But John was focused on his messier than normal black hair and the strange red flush on his cheeks. His breath caught in his throat as he stared at the mostly naked troll. Yup, that was a bare chest. Grey skin, toned muscles and... no nipples?

"Fuckass!" Karkat snapped his claws in John's face catching the hero's attention.

"Ah!" John put a smile on his face as he adjusted the bag over his shoulder. "Sorry! I know it's early but I have to leave for Bowerstone for a few days. I wanted to come tell you before I did."

Crimson eyes blinked a few times, the scowl on his face dissipating. "Leaving?"

"Yeah, just for a few days. I need to get my stuff from there. Jade's gonna do her space witch thing and send it all to my new house but I have to go make sure she does it right."

"New... House?" The confusion was obvious in the sleepy trolls eyes.

The grin on John's face grew. "Yeah. I bought a home in Oakfield."

"You did what?"

He giggled softly. "I bought a home. I've been saving up and doing odd jobs around town for a while now. I finally had enough money saved up and I bought a home. Oakfield's my home now."

"Why'd you go and do that?" The troll grumbled softly as he shifted to lean against the door frame, crossing his bare arms over his equally bare chest.

"That should be obvious, Karkat. To stay near you! I didn't want to mooch on Annabelle forever. And this way, I have my own home and my own space but I'm close enough to still come see you all the time!"

"Oh joy." He drawled slowly, his eyes slipping closed as his horns knocked against the wood of the frame he leaned against.

"Aw, I thought you'd be happy. Or, you know, something?" John flicked a hand in the air. "Angry? Whatever it is."

A growl came from the other's throat. "What do I care where you live."

John whimpered softly, bouncing on his heels. "But you hate me, right? So you _do_ care."

Fangs greeted his words, crimson eyes flashing as Karkat pushed off the door frame. "Your point?"

"I just thought you'd be happy. Or something. I know I am."

The slight flush on his cheeks betrayed the glare in his eyes. "Good for you."

"Hm, I can annoy you a lot more now." A slight smirk curled to the hero's face.

"Fuck, you can annoy me _more_?" He hissed, rolling his eyes as he stepped forward, a matching smirk on his lips. "Didn't think you capable of it, Egbert."

John took a step forward, practically closing the distance between them in a common position for them these days. He peered up into Karkat's crimson eyes, a sly smirk on his lips. "You have no clue what I'm capable of, grumpy."

A hiss and the slash of claws later, John found himself willingly on his back. Truthfully, he loved pushing Karkat's buttons. The troll had the best reactions and just maybe John liked this weird quadrant that he didn't quite understand. As long as it kept him close to Karkat, he didn't mind. So what if he walked away with a few new scars.

"Why are you such a buldgesucking shitface." Karkat snarled, his eyes narrowed as he pinned John to the ground, claws digging into his shoulders.

"Why can't you be happy for once." John grumbled back though the smile on his face proved he wasn't mad at all. Which pissed Karkat off even more. In fact, that smile seemed to piss Karkat off more and more lately and it wasn't because of the smile itself. It was more about how it made the troll's stomach curl in the most odd way.

"Why can't you shut your unattractive batshit flapper." The troll hissed, claws digging into the humans shoulders as he leaned over him, their faces inches apart.

John winced at the sharp claws digging into his skin through the fabric of his hero outfit. The slight pain didn't stop a smirk from curling to his lips. "I thought this whole thing was about you being attracted to my face. Or am I understanding this wrong?"

Crimson eyes narrowed, lips curled into a hiss. "I'm attracted to the hate, you asswipe."

"Welp, I just don't know anything any more." He raised his hands to rest on the trolls hips, the smirk still on his lips. "I don't hate you, so how is that attractive?"

The troll growled deeply, claws ripping through the blue fabric to break tanned skin. "You talk too much." He hissed, their faces not even an inch apart so all either saw was a blur of blue or a blur of crimson.

"I'm not the only one." He mumbled, his tongue flicking out to run along his lower lip. Crimson eyes followed the movement, causing his heart to thump a little harder and his blunt nails to dig into bare hips. Oh, right. Bare. Karkat was... Oh. Something strange thumped in John's stomach and he found his throat really dry.

The flicker of realization in John's eyes was not missed by Karkat whose smirk only grew, revealing his pin sharp teeth. "Your voice is annoying."

"What are you gonna do about it? Shut me up? Don't see how you're capable of doing that. For a troll, you're a lot of talk and little bite."

The growl he received was deeper than he was used to hearing and before he could even react, Karkat launched forward, his face burying in John's neck while sharp teeth broke skin. He yelped in surprise, his blunt nails digging into sharp hips. Blood dripped from the wound that Karkat kept his teeth in, locking his jaw. Every instinct was screaming at John and the wind kicked up around them to defend the human. John kept it at bay, biting his lower lip hard against the pain he had brought on himself.

"K-Karkat." He gasped, raising a hand to grip soft black hair which he then tugged. But Karkat didn't release him. The human growled softly, tugging more at the soft hair and yet Karkat still refused to release his neck. He could feel the blood start to drip to the ground, coating his neck in the sticky substance. With a huff, John gripped that soft hair tightly and tugged about as hard as he could. Which resulted in only hurting himself farther. "D-Damnit, Karkat, let go."

He received a deep growl as an answer. John adjusted his body, pressing up against the other in trying to flip them over. It failed causing John to hiss. He tugged again on Karkat's hair before his hand shifted to grab a horn. Those teeth were gone in an instant when John grabbed that horn and _tugged_ , pulling Karkat's head to the side, using the momentum to flip them over.

"You cheating bastard." Karkat hissed, his crimson eyes bursting with hatred as his claws sank into John's biceps. His grey face flushed red at the grip John had on his horn. "Release me this fucking instant or I'll rip out your throat and use it to hang you with."

"So that's what these are for." John mumbled softly, trying not to focus on how Karkat's teeth, lips and chin were covered in his blood. It was a frightening sight honestly. Those pin sharp teeth saturated in red blood. John's blood. The hero's spine prickled and he found his breath a little harder to find.

"That is not what they are for you footfucking batshit fuckpuppet!" He growled, claws breaking more skin as he tugged the other closer.

"Ah, well, they worked." John ran his thumb over the hard rough horn and nearly froze at the way Karkat shivered beneath him. "You bit me, you ass."

"You were asking for it." Karkat's claws loosened on John's shoulders. "Release me John."

The sound of his name made his fingers unfurl from Karkat's horn almost instantly. The troll relaxed beneath him slightly which made John wonder what those horns really did to him. They both blinked when a drop of John's blood dripped from his neck to splat against Karkat's slightly flushed cheek. John watched in slight awe as that oddly black tongue slipped past grey lips to lick at the blood.

"Fuck."

"Exactly." Claws dug into his hair, tugged and pulled until John was brought down so those blood covered lips could press against his rather roughly.

The hero grit his teeth, his hands forming fists where they rested on the ground on either side of the troll's head. Karkat arched his back, pressing closer to the human who refused to return the bloody kiss. He hissed against the other's lips, claws scrapping against John's scalp as he tugged his black hair. The human let out a gasp that the troll quickly took advantage of, shoving that strange tongue into the awaiting mouth of the human.

John hissed at the invasion and pressed against that tongue, pushing Karkat down onto the ground with his body. The troll made an odd sound at the pressure that made John's stomach twist. He nipped at that oddly long tongue making it retract into Karkat's mouth with a hiss. He tasted blood. His own blood. A coppery taste that seemed to make Karkat's eyes flash with something.

"No no no no no no." John suddenly pushed off Karkat, wincing at the way those claws scrapped against his skin as he flew into the air to hover over the troll. "That was gross, Karkat!" He wiped his mouth the back of his sleeve, seeing blood stained on it when he pulled away.

Karkat just hissed, moving to his feet before he crouched down. "Get back here you fucktard."

"No! I'm bloody enough!" Though really, John was more concerned about the strange feeling in his stomach. He _knew_ he was attracted to Karkat. It was hard not to be but this... This was different. Strange and he had no idea what it meant. Nor was he ready to find out.

Karkat licked his lips before he wiped his mouth clean with the back of his wrist though really he just managed to smear the blood. "Scared, Egbert?"

"This is getting crazy, Karkat." The hero hovered in the air within reach of the troll that didn't move. "I'm not exactly into getting hurt all the time. I mean, it happens but this is getting out of hand." He pressed his palm to the healing bite mark on his neck. "Is this what blackrom really is?"

"Yes, you primitive fuck."

"I don't like hurting you!" He snapped, anger bubbling in his chest.

"Too fucking bad!"

"What is the point in this?! Hurting each other isn't going to get us anywhere! I just want to get to know you, Karkat! I want to be your friend!"

The troll's lips curled over his teeth in a hiss. "You were fine with it before."

"Because I... I didn't know what I was getting myself into I guess." The hero calmed slightly, a sigh coming from his lips. "I can't do this, Karkat. I can't. I can't give you what you want."

Something similar to panic flashed in the troll's eyes, his breath coming short in his throat as his hands formed fists as his sides. "You don't even know what I want!"

John chewed on his lower lip before he lowered himself to the ground, planting his feet in front of the slightly shaking troll. "Then tell me! What do you want, Karkat? I'm trying my hardest here to be your friend and I'm not even sure if it's working."

"I can't be your friend."

"Why not?!"

"Because I hate you!"

"Why?! Why do you hate me?!"

"Because I do!"

Something about the way Karkat's shoulders were shaking and his voice wavered brought down John's anger. The pressure in his chest grew and it took all John had to not wrap the troll up in his arms. His shoulders dropped as he sighed, running a hand through his hair as he glanced to the sky.

"Fine. Hate me." Blue met crimson. "But I'm not doing this anymore." He flicked a hand between them.

Karkat's eyes widened slightly, panic flashing in them that John missed. "What... does that mean."

"It means I'm not going to fight you." The hero crossed his arms over his chest, glancing at the other. "Yeah, I like toying with you and pushing your buttons but I'm not fighting you. I mean, I'm not a troll, Karkat. Can't we compromise or something? I let you hate me and we don't take it to physical violence."

"I was under the impression you enjoyed the physical aspect." Crimson eyes glanced over the human's body.

John's cheeks flushed shamefully. "I... That's not the point here."

"Make up your imbecilic thinkpan!" Karkat snapped, his lips curling back into a snarl. "Do you want me to jump you or not?"

"Uh." John swallowed hard, chewing on his lower lip in thought. It wasn't the easy question to answer. Because _yes_ he did enjoy the physical part. When it led to kissing. Or when he got to touch Karkat. But... It wasn't that easy! He couldn't just admit that he wanted Karkat to jump him. Because it was in a way completely different from Karkat meant. And that was when it dawned on the hero. "Karkat?"

"What."

"Um, how much do you hate me? Like, do you see yourself ever not hating me?"

"What kind of fucking question is that?"

"I'm curious?"

The troll narrowed his eyes before he stood up straight and crossed his arms over his bare chest. "Fuck if I know. I know your face annoys the ever-loving shit out of me."

"And that'll never change?"

"Doubt it."

Rolling his bottom lip between his teeth, John came to a decision. "Okay."

"Okay what?"

John shrugged lightly, letting his hands fall to his sides. "Okay. Jump me."

A dark brow raised and Karkat stared at the human like he was crazy. "You just... What?" A snarl came to his lips. "Make up your nookfucking mind!"

"I did. You hate me. I don't hate you. But I'm not going anywhere and if this is a black thing then I guess I gotta embrace it and roll with the punches."

"You _just_ said you're not going to fight me."

"I don't want to. I don't want to hurt you. But I..." The hero shrugged, leaving it at that.

"You infuriating bastard." Karkat fumed, his chest constricting and his stomach doing all types of flips. He couldn't make sense of the human and what he wanted. Nor could he make sense of what _he_ wanted. He just shoved it all into the black quadrant and hoped for the best. But now... He didn't know anymore. What was the point of having a kismesis that didn't hate you back? But Karkat didn't care. John wasn't going anywhere so he was going to make the best out of the situation. He knew he was a desperate and pathetic excuse for a troll. But he didn't care. Not like there was anyone around who could judge him on it. Except John and the human knew nothing about troll romance.

"Sorry." The hero shrugged, taking a step forward to close the distance between them. "But you'll have to put up with me for a while." He spoke with a fond tone in his voice and a soft smile on his lips.

"Asshole." Karkat hissed before grabbing two fists full of hair and tugged John closer till their lips smashed together. It was the least black kiss Karkat had ever experienced in his life but who the fuck cared. It was just them and for the first time, John actually pushed back against Karkat's lips. A strange sensation fluttered in their chests that both pushed down and shoved into a dark corner of their minds.

Karkat's hands loosened in the other's hair as John tilted his head to press just a bit more against his lips. John could still taste blood but it was different than before and he was okay with that. With a faint smile, he pulled away from the other slightly, meeting crimson eyes that were practically glowing at him in the darkness.

Darkness.

John blinked, his head snapping up to glance around them. The sun had set not long ago, leaving the land in the glow of the sliver of a moon. "Shit." He cursed softly glancing back at the growling troll. "I need to get going if I'm going to get to Bowerstone before sunrise."

Karkat grunted softly, removing his hands from John's hair to take a step back from him. "Get your ass out of here then."

John pouted softly, opening his arms to the other. "Don't I get a hug goodbye or something?"

"Not like you're never coming back."

"That's not the point, Karkat."

They stared at each other a good five minutes before Karkat gave up. John's smile and open arms were just a bit too inviting. With a growl, the troll stepped into John's opened arms and just leaned against the other. John's smile grew and he wrapped his arms around the other tightly.

"I'll be back in two days. Don't miss me too much." He nuzzled his cheek against soft black hair.

Claws gripped at his sides, sending a chill over his spine. "Why would I miss a bullshitting nookcrunching pile of trash."

"Awww, I'll miss you too, grumpy." He teased as he released the troll. The claws that suddenly scrapped across his cheek were no surprise.

"Don't call me that." He snapped as he bent down to snatch up the satchel John had dropped in their little tussle. He held it out to the other who happily took it and pulled it over his torso.

"I'll see you in two days?"

"Yeah. yeah, whatever."

John chuckled softly as he pushed off the ground and flew into the air. "Take care, Karkat."

The troll jerked his chin, his arms crossing over his chest as he watched the other float in the air. "See you."

With a grin, John took off over the trees and didn't glance back to see the troll watch him leave. Once the blue figure disappeared over the trees, Karkat let out a frustrated growl before returning to his home where he fully intended to lock himself away for the next two days.

* * *

Bowerstone hadn't changed at all in the month and a half that John had been gone. Not that he expected it too. Knowing the place hadn't changed without him was a good thing. Rose and Roxy were around. Why would Bowerstone need him to stick around too? They didn't. And John was okay with that. The scent of smoke from Industrial floated over Bowerstone. A scent he was familiar with but did not miss at all. The air wasn't as clean as Oakfield's and John wondered why the Striders ever left that place.

John landed in the middle of the Bowerstone bridge not long after the sun rose. Few people were about and he was fine with that. Those that saw him greeted him with smiles that he happily returned. He would miss the warm atmosphere of Bowerstone but Oakfield was just as nice. He had more for him there. A lot more. He made his way to the Lalonde's with his mind full of thoughts.

He'd spent his entire flight with his mind in the clouds; lost in thought. He couldn't decide what he wanted to do with Karkat. Deep down, he knew they couldn't just continue down the black path they were on because in the end, Karkat wouldn't get what he needed. John wasn't entirely sure what Karkat needed but if it involved hate, John wasn't capable of giving it. The human had never hated a thing in his life and he certainly saw no reason to hate Karkat. In fact, he'd come to really care about the troll.

Sure, Karkat had his moments. He was a bit of an ass and sure he was rude sometimes but he was fascinating. The fact that he refused to tell John much about himself just drew the human in more. Karkat was gentle, even if he was violent sometimes, he was a gentle creature. There were things that meant a lot to him and even though John didn't know why, he was still in awe of the troll. Karkat may have claimed to hate him but John was sure there was more to it than the troll was telling him.

John shook his head, crinkling his nose as he tried to rid himself of those thoughts. He couldn't think about Karkat right now. He had to focus on getting the little amount of stuff he had moved and spend some time with his sisters. He hadn't seen his family since he left with Jake over a month ago and he missed them. He wanted to catch up with his family and not have these worries about Karkat get in the way.

"John." Though the call of his name was soft, he heard it, snapping his head in the direction of the feminine voice. His face lit up when his eyes landed on blonde hair, purple eyes and a thick sultry frame.

"Rose!" He skipped slightly and quickly made his way over to the lady waiting outside the blacksmith's for him. "It's been forever!" He wasted no time in gathering the smiling woman into a tight hug that she happily returned.

"Yes, it's been quite a while." She rubbed her perfectly manicured hands over his back as he hugged her shoulders tightly. "You've grown a bit." She stated as they pulled away from one another.

"Have I?" He grinned, rubbing that back of his neck. "I was hoping so. It's hard to tell though."

She nodded. "You're a bit taller."

"Great! I wonder if I'm taller than Dave yet."

Rose hummed softly, clasping her hands behind her back as she looked the male over. "Not quite yet. But you might be soon."

John grinned at her words. "Thanks. For helping me out."

"Of course." She produced a golden key from out of no where and spun around to shove it into the door of the blacksmith's shop. "I believe you don't have much to pack up."

"Not really. Mostly clothes. I don't own much." He shrugged, watching as she unlocked the door and entered the shop. He followed behind her, glancing around the empty place before following her to the door that lead up to his old room. "Kinda sad when you think about it."

"You're not a material type of man, John. That is all." She glanced back at him with glistening purple eyes before moving up the stairs that led to his old room.

"I guess that's true."

"I do have a present for you." She stated as they entered stuffy room. She made her way to the one window in the room and opened it, letting in the warm morning breeze.

"You do? Why?" He perked up.

"You're moving, John. On your own. It's a big step. As heroes, most of us paired off long ago. But you have not." She glanced at him as she moved to the crate in front the bed. "Though that is in no way a bad thing. We're all proud of you. We want you to be happy and we feel you will be in a new place."

"I... Well, thanks. That's really great of you guys." He smiled sheepishly, his cheeks flushing lightly.

"Kanaya thought you'd want some new clothing." Rose tapped the lid of the crate before lifting it off so John could peer inside. "She made you plenty of things. We hope you like them."

His eyes widened as he reached into the crate to dig through it. "Oh wow. This is a lot of blue. Oh! Is this a new hero outfit?" He quickly tugged out the blue fabric, glancing it over. It wasn't much different than the one he wore aside from the short sleeves.

"She made us all a few replacement outfits. Since the weather is warm, she thought you might like something made with a lighter fabric and with less sleeves."

"Aw, that was so nice of her! Is she still around?" He asked, glancing at her as he tossed the outfit on the bed so he could start to undo the buckle around his waist.

"I'm afraid not. She left for home last night." Rose lifted on her toes slightly to overlook John's neck. "What happened to you, John? There's blood on your clothing."

"Eh." John shrugged, tugging off the belt that joined the new tunic on the bed before the tugged off his dirty and slightly bloodied tunic. "It's um a long story."

"We have time." She stated, folding her hands in front of her. "There's a... mark on your neck." Her eyes widened slightly, flashing with a realization that John missed since he was busy pulling on the new tunic.

"Oh wow, this is lighter." He flattened out the blue fabric, flexing his bare arms. "It fits better." He perked a brow as he grabbed his belt. "Maybe I did grow. She took that into account?" He asked, buckling the belt that held his pistol back around his waist.

"She's brilliant like that." Rose said softly, taking a step forward to get a better look at the bite mark on John's neck. It had healed but there was now a scar. Heroes did not scar all that easily. "John, where did that come from?"

"Oh, uh." He placed his palm to the mark, his cheeks flushing slightly. That was the only answer Rose needed. She bit her black lower lip for a moment before stepping forward to smooth out the fabric over John's shoulders.

"How are you and Karkat? I believe there's a lot you need to discuss?"

"Bah, that's not why I came here Rose. I want to know what you've been up to."

Purple met blue and for once, John held his ground against that stare. With a soft sigh, the woman nodded, removing her hands from the other's shoulders. "Nothing really." She took the bloodied tunic and folded it up to place in the crate. "Why don't you bring me the rest of your clothes and I'll fold them up to pack away?"

"Alright!" John said with a grin, happy to have the subject change and have something else to focus on.

* * *

"John! John! John!" Jade bounced into the room in a flurry of green and dark hair, tackling the male. If he hadn't been prepared, the two would have found the floor but John caught her, laughing as he hugged his sister.

"Jade!"

"John!" She giggled as she pulled back from his, glancing up at him with sparkling light green eyes. "You grew!" She bounced, gripping his shoulders with a grin on her lips.

"Yup."

She giggled again before glancing to Rose. "Rose!" And then the brunette was gone to hug the blonde. John laughed softly as the two hugged, always happy to see his family together. "It's great to see you guys!"

"You as well, Jade." Rose spoke with a smile as Jade finally released her.

Jade grinned, glancing around the room. "You guys done? My turn?"

"Yup." John motioned to the crate. "Everything in there."

"That's it? That's all I have to move?" She pouted softly. "Aw, I thought this would be more fun." She shrugged before reaching up to place to fingers against John's temple. "Oh well, I'm happy to see you guys." She grinned, raising her other hand that started to glow green and then patted the crate. It was engulfed in green before disappearing. "All done!" She released John to clap her hands together. "Does this mean we can spend time together now? We need to catch up!"

"Of course. How about we have lunch?" Rose suggested, stepping up beside the bouncing brunette.

"Yeah, sure. Is Roxy around?"

"Yeah! Roxy and Jane?"

"Sorry, they're on a trip."

"Aw, Okay. Just us then!" Jade grinned, grabbing one hand from each of them to pull them to her side. "All we need is Dave and we're complete!"

"Goodness knows where they are."

"Jake's with them." Jade pointed out as the three of them made their way out of the room. "Though I don't know where."

"Jake's with them? Since when?" John asked, a little surprised.

"Hm. A few weeks? He said he didn't find anything interesting like you did so he met up with Dirk and Dave. Oh! That's right!" She grinned, her green eyes flickering to life. "You just have to tell us about your discovery."

"Ah, do I have to?"

"Of course! Why wouldn't you want to? Wait." Jade paused outside the blacksmith's shop, causing the other two to stop as well with her grip on their hands. "Did something happen? Are you two okay?"

"Ah, um, we're fine Jade."

She narrowed her eyes, releasing their hands so she could peer up into John's face. The male leaned back from her slightly, glancing down at her with widened eyes. "Don't you lie to me, Egbert. I know when you're lying."

He bit his lower lip and glanced away to Rose for some help but the blonde was giving him the same look Jade was. He really wished Dave was there. At least then he could use his best bro as a buffer between the girls. He swallowed hard, shaking his head. "Really Jade, we're fine."

"Hmmm." She hummed, searching his eyes before flicking her eyes over his face. They widened slightly when they landed on the mark on the male's neck that was usually hidden by the hood of his tunic. "That doesn't look fine." She gasped suddenly grabbing his shoulders and shook him. "Did he hurt you?!"

"Jade." Rose placed a gentle hand on the girl's shoulder. "Perhaps we should talk about this at home."

Jade glanced around them at the few people who'd paused to stare at them. "Oh." She nodded and released John to smooth out her black dress. "Of course. There's a lot to discuss." She gave John a look that left his mouth dry before stomping off toward the Lalonde's.

"Don't worry, John." Rose placed a gentle hand on his forearm. "I'll do my best to explain to her what troll quadrants are so she will understand."

"I... Wait, what?" He turned to her with wide eyes. "How do you know what they are?"

"I read, John. A lot."

"Oh, right." He laughed softly, nodding. "I wanted... to talk to you about them anyway."

"Shall we then?"

John nodded, letting the blonde slip her arm between his before he led her toward her home. Jade was waiting outside the door for them, tapping her foot in her impatience. John glanced at Rose, his heart in his throat. The blonde patted his arm soothingly before pulling away from him to follow Jade into the house. He let out a deep breath and really wished Dave was there.

* * *

"Okay, let me get this straight. You're in this weird hate relationship with a troll that for some reason likes to attack you just for the fun of it?"

"Something like that."

Jade let out a breath and leaned back in her chair, arms crossed over her chest as she shook her head. "I don't get it. Why would you be okay with that?"

"I didn't say I was."

"Pardon me a moment." Rose cut in, her brow crinkling as she turned to John. "You're not okay with being his Kismesis?"

John let out a sigh and sunk in his chair, placing a hand against the scar on his neck. "I can't hate him, Rose. I'm not capable of that. And though I've _told_ him that, he's pretty set on hating me." He shrugged one shoulder. "What am I supposed to do? I don't want to lose him as a friend and if he hates me, he hates me."

"I don't understand how anyone could hate you." Jade added in.

"Trolls are different creatures, Jade." Rose proper her elbow on the table before tucking her chin into her palm, purple eyes focused on John. "I'm not sure I understand, John. If he hated you as much as you say he does, he wouldn't deal with you in the ways you've explained. That's not how Kismesissitude works."

"What do you mean?"

"My understanding of that quadrant may a bit different than what it is meant to be but from what I know, that quadrant is about finding a thrill in hating one another _equally_. There is no thrill if it's one-sided. In other words, a one-sided kismesissitude can not work. Karkat is surely aware of this."

John shrugged. "He finds some type of thrill in hating me. He certainly jumps me enough."

"Wait. Does that mark mean... he marked you?" Jade asked with a faint gasp. "Like, as his?"

Dark eyebrows popped up as John ran his fingers over the scar. "I... I don't know. I was teasing him and was kinda asking for it. It was my fault really."

"So you provoke him, on purpose?" Rose asked.

"Kind of? I mean, it's a little fun to poke and push his buttons. He's so easy to piss off."

"I... Oh my." Rose shook her head as she sat back in her chair, folding her hands in her lap. "No wonder you managed to get yourself in such a relationship. That is flirting, John. You've been flirting with him."

"What?" He sat up straight, his eyes widening slightly. "I-No I haven't!"

The blonde nodded. "Teasing him and pushing his buttons on purpose is hate flirting, John. No wonder he wants to establish you as his Kismesis."

"I... I don't want to be his kisme-whatever. I just want to be his friend!"

"Have you told him that?"

"Yes! But he just says he hates me and that's how it is."

"Well, when you continue to flirt with him, it's no surprise he remains that way."

John groaned and flopped over the table, pressing his cheek against the wood as he looked at Rose with pitiful eyes. "What do I do, Rose?"

"Stop hate flirting with him for one." Jade pointed out with a shrug. "I doubt that's helping. I mean, think about it John. He's a troll. You're a human. He's probably confused enough already about how he feels. You both are obviously." She flicked a hand at him. "Pushing him in the wrong quadrant isn't going to help anything."

"But... It's fun. It's what we do!" He lifted his head slightly to prop his chin on the table so he could glance between the two women who gave him equal glares.

"John. Do you want to be his Kismesis or not?" Rose asked sternly.

"Not..."

"Then you have to establish that. No hate flirting."

"But he hates me..."

"I honestly doubt that."

He let out a soft sigh. "And then what?"

"And then the two of you can work on being friends."

"What if he doesn't want to? Every time I bring it up, he just goes on about how he hates me and that's what we are."

"Maybe you have to give him an ultimatum?" Jade spoke. "Like, either be friends or you can't do it anymore."

"We made a compromise though. I told him he can hate me all he wants but I won't fight him anymore."

"Trolls don't work that way, John."

"Then what am I supposed to do?!" He threw his hands in the air as he sat up straight. "I'm not leaving him and he's already made up his mind! Why can't this compromise work?"

"Because it will only be a matter of time before he snaps and attacks you again. And if you're not willing to fight back, it will only anger him more which may result in pushing him far off the black quadrant and into a different kind of hate. A kind you can't come back from. You'll also hurt his feelings and his pride. I'm sure you don't want to do that." Rose said with a sad smile on her lips. She really did feel for her fellow hero. It was a hard situation to be in.

Jade nodded in agreement. "John, what do you want? Like, what type of relationship do you want with Karkat? You enjoy pushing his buttons but don't actually want to fight him. That's like you and Dave. Is that what you want? A broship?"

"Yes!" He gasped out.

"Maybe you should explain that to Karkat. He must be willing to try something." Jade glanced at Rose for approval.

The blonde nodded once. "It's not a horrible idea. Perhaps he'll come to understand what you desire and the two of you can work something out that will please the both of you."

John collapsed back in his chair. "But if we have a broship he won't jump me anymore."

The two women's brow popped up and they glanced at each other. "You want him to jump you?"

Blue eyes widened as tanned cheeks flushed darkly. He really hadn't meant to say that out loud. "I... Um..."

Jade's hands suddenly slammed down on the table, a grin on her face as she jumped to her feet. "You like him!"

"What?" John squeaked softly. "W-Well of course I do! I want to be his friend!"

"No, You _like_ him." Jade wiggled her eyebrows, the grin still on her lips. "You like it when he kisses you, don't you?"

"I... Well..."

"Oh my." Rose gasped softly, her purple eyes wide as she cupped a hand over her mouth.

"Don't look at me like that!" He snapped at both of them, crossing his arms over his chest as he sat up straight. "You'd like it too! He's cute, damnit."

Jade let out a series of giggles as she plopped back down in her chair. "You think he's cute!"

The heat on his cheeks intensified. "Well he is!"

"Alright, Alright." Rose tapped the table with a black nail in an attempt to get the other two to calm down. "You want to be good friends with this troll but you also enjoy kissing him. The question is, are those romantic feelings or strictly physical?"

"I... I don't know. I can live never kissing him again as long as I get to be near him."

The blonde hummed, tapping a black nail to her chin for a moment. "Perhaps you should try for a different quadrant then."

"You mean the pale one?" At her nod, John quickly shook his head. "Nooooo. Last time I even hinted at that, Karkat went batshit crazy and nearly ripped out my throat."

"I wonder why..."

"No idea. But that's a thing that's totally not going to happen. He said something along the lines of 'you could never replace him' but with a lot more cursing and hatred."

"I wanna meet this Karkat." Jade said with a giggle. "He sounds interesting."

"Oh, he really is!"

"It wouldn't hurt to try again, John." Rose pointed out. "Perhaps not make it so obvious. Trolls are different creatures. If Karkat is out to fill his quadrants, and he certainly seems to be trying, it won't hurt for you to fill a different one."

"But he-"

"I am aware. Try for friendship first and then perhaps things will grow from there. But being his Kismesis is not what you are meant to do."

John swallowed hard, his shoulders slumping as he nodded. "Yeah... You're right."

"Perhaps I have something that may help you." Rose got to her feet elegantly before moving over to the full book shelf near the front door. She stood there for a few moments, eyeing over the books before plucking two of them free. She returned to the table and placed the two books in front of John. "Kanaya gave these to me. They're troll romance novels. I know you are not much of a reader John but perhaps they will help you come to understand how trolls work. They were written by trolls so you can trust the information within them." She stated as she pressed the skirt of her dark purple skirt down before she sat. "One focuses on blackrom while the other is red with a good chunk of pale thrown in. They might be of some help to you."

John fingered the leather-bound books before glancing up at Rose. "Thanks." His eyes shifted to Jade. "Thank you both. You're the best sisters ever."

"Damn right we are." Jade stated with a grin before clapping her hands together once. "So, I heard there's some slave traders near Millville." Her grin twisted slightly as she moved to her feet. "How about we go take care of them together like the old days?"

Rose's purple eyes gleamed as she moved to her feet. "Oh, that sounds lovely."

"Yeah." John jumped up, happy to have some distraction from the mess in his head.

* * *

The cottage John had purchased sat on a little hill that over looked the ocean. It wasn't too far from Annabelle's home or from the rest of town. But it was far enough away that it gave John privacy if and when he would need it. It matched all the other cottages in town aside from the fact that it was only one story. That one story was rather large however, holding everything John could ever need. A nice kitchen, a living room, a bedroom and an indoor bath. It was perfect for a bachelor like himself.

The hero smiled softly to himself as he glanced around his new home. His clothes were put away in the dresser and closet of his bedroom that was tucked into the corner of the home. He put up a blue curtain to separate the room from the rest of the open home. He did the same with the bath that was tucked into the corner across from the bedroom. It was starting to feel like home and that made John happy.

John glanced at the books resting on the kitchen table, chewing on his lower lip before he spun around and left his home. The sun was still high in the sky and though John was anxious to return to Karkat after not seeing him for close to three days, the hero didn't want to disturb his sleep. John didn't need to sleep as much as normal people. It was part of being a hero. But he understood that most people needed a real sleep schedule.

So, until the sun set, John went off to play with Casey who was more than happy to entertain the hero.

* * *

With the book tucked under his arm, John flew off to Karkat's as soon as the sun set. Three days was a long time to him. It was longer than he'd meant to stay away but Roxy and Jane came back to Bowerstone and John was forced to join in girl time. He made the girls swear to never speak of it again but he was sure the next time he saw Dave, he was going to get crap for it. At least there wasn't any proof that the girls had got him all dressed up. That, he could live with.

Karkat was sitting on the step outside of his open front door when John swooped over the trees and landed on the ground. The troll looked up at him with a hint of surprise in his otherwise blank expression as the human made his way over to him.

"Hey Karkat!" John said with a smile, coming to stop in front of the troll. "Sorry I'm a day late. I got dragged into spending time with the girls and well, that was crazy."

Crimson eyes watched him for a moment before the troll moved to his feet. "Whatever." He eyed the short-sleeved hero outfit the male wore before his eyes landed on the books tucked under his arm.

"Aw, you didn't miss me? Well I missed you!" He said with a grin.

Karkat's nose crinkled as he glanced from John's eyes to the books tucked under his arms. "What are those?"

"Oh." He pulled the books in front of him and showed them to Karkat. "Rose let me borrow these. She said I needed to learn more about trolls. I flipped through them and there's a few words I don't understand so I thought you could explain them."

The books were suddenly snatched from his hands and Karkat read over the crazy long titles quickly. "Where did she get these?"

"Um, her friend Kanaya." John didn't fail to notice the way the troll flinched at the name. "I haven't met her but she seems like a nice person. Rose told me they're romance novels written by trolls which is why there's a few words I don't... Karkat, why are you shaking?"

"I've never seen these before." He stated before spinning around on his heel and marched into his house, leaving the door open behind him.

"Uh, Karkat?" John called after him, stepping up to the door. "Karkat?"

"Get your grubfucking ass in here."

John stepped inside the cabin, his eyes wide as he glanced around the small area. He wasn't surprised at the black curtains covering every window but everything else was a bit of a surprise. Every available space, including the walls, was covered in books. Everywhere. On the table, on his messy bed, on the floor, on every single shelf. Books.

"Oh wow." John gasped softly, carefully shutting the door behind him. It was the first time he'd ever been inside Karkat's home and the place was a mess. "You uh, I didn't know you read this much."

"Reading is all I usually do." Karkat mumbled from where he sat on the edge of his bed, one of the books open in his hands.

"You never told me that." John stepped around a few stacks of books to peer at a shelf. "Are these... Are these all troll books?"

"Every last one."

"Wow. There's so many." He glanced at the other male. "And you don't have those two?"

"No."

"You've never read them?"

"No."

John smiled softly as he moved a few books off the bed so he could sit down beside the troll. "Then read them. Rose won't mind."

Karkat grunted, shifting to move back on his bed, avoiding a few books as he pressed against the wall, pulling his knees up near his chest. John chewed on his lips for a moment before he joined the other, sitting against the wall with their shoulders pressed together. Karkat didn't even seem to notice. He was quite wrapped up in the book. John bent a leg to rest his elbow against as he peered down at the open book in Karkat's hands.

"Um Karkat?"

Lips curled over sharp teeth and crimson eyes glanced at him. "What." He hissed softly.

"I um... Nevermind. Read. Enjoy."

"Can you manage to keep your shitspewing mouth shut long enough?

John chuckled softly. "Yeah. I missed you too by the way." He gently knocked his head against the other's in an affectionate gesture.

Karkat just grunted, a dust of red coating his cheeks as he turned back to his book. They settled against each other and John let his head rest back against the wall. There was plenty he could talk to Karkat about. Like what he was _supposed_ to talk to him about. But Karkat was in a good mood and John didn't want to ruin it with serious talk. He just wanted to enjoy the other's company in a comfortable silence. And that's exactly what they did for the rest of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, next part? It's a bit of a filler I guess. Lots of JohnKat fluff! So that's something to look forward to. 
> 
> And now a personal little note. I've been really scatterbrained lately because Otakon is coming up. So I'm not sure how these chapters are going to turn out and if they'll even come out on time. So I apologize for that. On a better note, if you're going to Otakon and might want to meet up, hit me up on my tumblr! I love meeting new people ^_^
> 
> Thanks for reading! Be sure to let me know what you thought. Comments are always nice since you can only kudo a chapter fic once! It really means a lot guys.
> 
> Take care!
> 
> ~Addy~


	6. Month 2 - July: Part 2 - Anatomy 101

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here it comes a day early cause I somehow managed to get this out. Miracle really. Gamzee's spazzing all out over here about it. Don't expect this all time. Sometimes I'm early, Sometimes I'm late, sometimes I'm right on time. 
> 
> Warnings: Um bit of blood, some fighting and fluff? Yeah, fluff.
> 
>  
> 
> [What Hollow Men look like](http://www.oldschoolgamer.co.uk/postimages/gallery/20101107fable3/fable3-04.jpg)

Brightwall was a beautiful village, set on the side of a mountain and surrounded by large stone walls that towered over it. The area had once been a military base centuries ago and no one really remembered when it became a village. There was one way into Brightwall and it was over the large slightly crumbling bridge that overlooked a beautiful lake and the surrounding mountains. The village had grown over the years but considering it was constricted within the stone walls, it had not grown all that much.

Brightwall's proud jewel was the Academy. The large towering building that mimicked a small castle. Brightwall Academy was full of every ounce of knowledge Albion had to offer and it was open to the public. John had only gone there a few times on quests but Rose and Jake spent a lot of time at the Academy when they had the chance. Brightwall was a beautiful place that was set on the border of Albion, brushing up against the mountains of Alternia.

Bowerstone was a good week travel away which meant Oakfield was even farther. But when Rose mentioned the quest, John jumped at the opportunity to take it. Even if he was the farthest away, the Academy had books. Thousands of books. Books he could bring back to Karkat. And though it had been less than a week since he'd returned from Bowerstone, John was eager to head off to Brightwall.

The thrill of a quest always drove him forward but the thought of the look on Karkat's face when John brought him new books to read was all he needed to take the quest. The troll wasn't happy with John's departure but the hero was sure he'd make it up to the other when he returned. They'd spent an unusual amount of time together since John returned from Bowerstone, though the hero would never complain, reading books in Karkat's cabin. It was a different atmosphere and John still didn't bring up their quadrant situation.

Black boots made a soft thump as they landed on the stone bridge while he ran a hand through his wind tousled hair. The short sleeves and lighter fabric of his new hero garb was a blessing in the warm summer air and he made a note to personally thank Kanaya the next chance he had. Which would be the first time he would meet her. He shrugged, shifting the hammer over his shoulder before he made his way toward the large open wooden doors of the village.

Two guards greeted him on either side of the large opening in the stone wall. He nodded to them before moving into the center of town where a large fountain sat. Villagers noticed him and sent him waves and huge smiles that he happily returned. He was always happy to greet villagers because it gave him more of a sense of self-worth. Knowing that they needed him gave him a purpose. The warmth in his chest wasn't as strong as it had once been but it was still enough for him. Oddly enough, he didn't realize the reason for this was because the once hole in his chest was now filled.

John made his way up the hill, passing houses, shops and villagers that greeted him. The Academy was a looming building that cast its shadow over most of the village depending on the time of the day. The place was beautiful and John wondered if Karkat would ever be willing to come to Brightwall with him sometime. The thought made the hero's cheeks flush a dark red that he quickly hid from watching eyes.

The hero rounded the large fountain outside of the Academy before pushing open the large double doors. The cool air of the academy hit him in the face as he entered, pushing the door shut behind him. The entrance was littered with book shelves, packed full to the point they looked like they may explode if one more book was stuffed into them. The checkered marble floor was beautiful and drew John farther into the building.

The main center of the place had a large square counter where the main librarian spent their time. Said librarian was hunched over a book, his attention not even drawn to the new occupant of the room. Voice would be heard from a few of the other rooms but John was drawn to the man sitting at the bar.

"Ah, Excuse me." He spoke softly, tilting his body slightly in an attempt to gain the man's attention.

Pale eyes glanced up and for a moment, the older male was a little startled to see the vibrant, handsome hero before him. "Ah." A smile spread over the man's lips as he stood up straight and extended a hand for the hero to shake. "What a relief! It's a pleasure to meet you, Hero. I'm Alexander."

"John." The hero said with a nod and a firm shake of the man's hand. "Nice to meet you too."

Alexander nodded and quickly moved out from behind the counter to stand before the taller hero. "I'm surprised Ms. Rose did not come herself. It's been quite the while since she's visited." He started to move toward a double door in the back fo the room, motioning for the hero to follow. "This way, if you please."

John followed the man willingly, glancing around at the place, taking in the shelves of books. The academy was well taken care of and he was sure Rose and Jake made sure to keep it that way. "I insisted to come. I wanted to look around after I took care of these Hollow Men."

"Oh? Are you looking for something in particular." The man asked, glancing back at the hero as they descended a few sets of stairs, passing through room after room.

"Sort of. I'm looking for a friend. He's a really huge reader but he has an interest in only one type of genre." John chewed on his lower lip. "You wouldn't happen to have any um Alternian books, would you?"

Alexander paused halfway down a set of stairs and turned to glance at the hero. "Alternian? Hm, you and Ms. Rose seem to have quite the interest in that place."

"Ah yeah." John chuckled softly, rubbing the back of his neck. "Figure I should know more about the places that surround Albion."

The man hummed as he started walking again. "That's not a bad idea. There's been a few troll sightings outside the village."

Dark eyebrow perked. "Really? I didn't know that."

"I informed Ms. Rose."

John bit his lower lip in confusion. Why had she not told him that? There _were_ more trolls out there and people were seeing them. Wasn't that a big deal? "Oh. Have they come to town?"

"Heaven's no. At first, I thought villagers were seeing things. But then I saw one of my own. They linger in the forest and once you focus on them, they're gone. Almost as if... They are waiting for something."

"That... Doesn't sound good."

"My thoughts exactly."

"What um did the troll look like?"

Alexander paused outside a large metal door that caught John's attention for only a moment. "Grey skin. Glowing eyes. I only saw it for a moment. But I noticed the oddly colored horns. They were large, coming out of its head till about here." The man brought his hands up and leveled them about a foot or so above his head. "They were different shades of orange and yellow. They stood out against the mainly dark-colored creature." He dropped his hands back down as he nodded at John's wide-eyed look. "I can't help but wonder if they're just curious about us. It's been centuries since trolls walked this land. Sometimes I feel like they have this desire to come and say hello but they're afraid to? Like an animal of some sort."

"That... May not be too far from the truth." Oh goodness did John have a lot to ask Karkat when he returned. He swallowed hard and focused on the large metal door before them. The room they had entered was one of the smaller ones with a few glass cases set up in a circle . The cases held old artifacts from fallen heroes. John recognized a few of them even. He knew what the metal door lead to. It was an ancient hero relic. "The Reliquary." John spoke softly.

"Ah, yes. It's been on lock down ever since the Hollow Men showed up. It's a shame really. It's a lovely place. I'm hoping you can rid us of this evil."

"I'll do my best." John shifted the bag off his shoulder and slumped it against a book shelf. "Do you have any idea where the source is?"

"Not entirely." The man rung his hands together as he glanced up the hero with worry etched into his face. "There's a metal door not far off inside. We believe the source is somewhere within it."

"Alright." The hero removed the war hammer from his back and brought it into his hand, ready for use. "I'll lock the door behind me, just in case."

"Yes, of course."

John flashed the man a smile before pressing his hand against the circular lock in the middle of the door. Blue magic flowed along the door, metal clicked and after a few seconds the door unlocked and swung open. He gave the man a nod before he entered the dark staircase and shut the door behind him, locking it with his magic.

The Reliquary smelt of wet earth and mold. A strange smell that was not uncommon to find with Hollow Men around. They were evil creatures. Creatures that came from the souls of the fallen. Said souls would dig into the earth till they found a corpse and would then bring that corpse to life. They were a bit harder to fight than Hobbes because not only did they always come in a large number, they were tougher to beat. There was only one way to beat them. No matter how many skeletons John would bash, they would continue to come back until he destroyed the source.

No one was entirely sure of the Hollow Men's purpose. They did not feed like Hobbes and they did not need to grow their packs like Balverines. They simply were. And that was the largest problem with them. There was some sense of fear in knowing there was a creature that had no purpose. It simply was and liked to kill for the thrill of it. That was the type of creature John disliked most. He grew up around Hollow Men and really, there wasn't anyone better suited for this quest than him.

The hero made his way into the underground fortress, glancing around at the broken bookshelves and stone pillars. Books and papers scattered the area but there was no Hollow Men in sight. He made his way inside slowly, his hammer resting on his shoulder but his muscles tense and ready for battle. The scent became stronger as John walked into the vastly open area of the Reliquary. There were different paths with a rather deep gorge beneath them, along with a building in the center of it all. John spotted the metal door off to the side that he assumed was the one Alexander spoke of.

He made his way down the candle lit stairs, not surprised to find magic kept them lit without ever melting. It was most certainly a place for heroes. A place really meant for only heroes. He came to stop in front of the beautifully etched metal door before placing his hand against it. His magic came to life, unlocking the door that swung open. John was frozen for only a split second before he jumped into action.

Hollow Men. Everywhere. A crowd of them just inside the door almost as if they were waiting for him. The hammer was light in his hands as he suddenly swung it before they even noticed him. The crunch of bone was satisfying as his hammer slammed through three Hollow Men and crushed them into nothing. The others reacted quickly and John stepped back away from the open door to give himself more space to swing his hammer. His weapon was _made_ for these creatures.

One swing, two down. Another swing, four down. A circle spin and he took out at least six of them. But he didn't have time to waste. He had to keep moving. He could stand there all day killing Hollow Men but he would get no closer to ending them. Lifting into the air, John crushed the skull of two more before he flew over their heads and entered through the metal door. They chased after him of course, their jaws hanging open and their blunt weapons raised.

The hero swooped through the air, twisting and turning around corners, passing over Hollow Men before he flew into a large open area full of more books. The room was large and open, with the walls full of books and a large staircase that circled around and lead down into the depths of the room. John narrowed his eyes and hovered over the large open space in the middle.

A sudden flash of light and John scrambled to keep his hold on the soft wind as he spun in the air and slammed against a wall. He gasped for air, his eyes snapping open as his hammer fell out of his hand to the floor, landing with an echoing clank. He hissed at the pain in his shoulder and noticed blood leaking out from the wound, staining the blue of his hero garb. He quickly pushed off the wall and twirled in the air, his eyes scanning the area for where the strange wound had even come from.

"Ah, how interesting. I didn't expect an actual hero to come along." A soft voice echoed off the walls, catching John's attention yet he could not tell where it was coming from. "Damnit Ash, you told me they were all dead." The voice had a hint of a hiss to it, similar to how Karkat spoke to John.

"How was I supposed to fucking know?" A deep voice echoed around and suddenly, John didn't feel so confidant in his quest any longer. "It's been centuries since we've been up here."

"You fucking idiot! What are we supposed to do now?!"

John winced at the shout and chewed on his lower lip. "I can hear you, you know." He ventured.

"Ah fuck." The lighter toned voice spoke. "Let's just handle this."

"You really gonna kill a hero, Adi? You really willing to risk that shit?"

"Fuck you, Ash."

John shook his head, his adrenaline racing as he spun around to notice the army of Hollow Men that now entered the room. The ones he had flown over and followed him. He flinched at a strange snapping sound and suddenly, those Hollow Men were not alone. Strange black creatures appeared from the shadows, surrounding the Hollow Men before scurrying along the dirty stone floor to stay under where John was hovering. The creatures were pure black with a strange mist to them that John quickly recognized.

But that couldn't be right... He suddenly had no idea what he was dealing with and felt completely unprepared. The strange sense of fear that crawled up his spine when he looked into those soulless red eyes of the creatures beneath him was not welcomed at all.

"Ah, um, wait a moment." John suddenly spoke, realizing he was dealing with intelligent beings, whatever they were. "I'm not... I don't understand what is going on right now. Who are you? _What_ are you?"

There was a soft snort. "Yeah, like we're gonna tell you that shit. Take your asskicking like a good boy, you arrogant hero."

There was another flash of light and John found himself slamming into another wall. He hissed, narrowing his eyes as he quickly flew back into the air, his hands forming glowing blue fists as his sides. "Fine! If that's how you're going to be, I'll take you on. But stop being cowards hiding in the shadows."

"Cowards? You hear that Ash, we're cowards."

"Dude's got a point."

There was the sound of skin slapping skin. "Fuck you."

John was completely thrown for a loop. Had the softer toned male smacked the deeper toned one? Sure sounded like it. What on earth was going on? John grit his teeth and pushed his hands forward, sending a burst of magic at the strange child-like creatures under him that suddenly made a move for him. They suddenly scattered, screaming as blue flames engulfed them. If there was one thing John hated more than anything, it was being confused in battle.

"My children!" The lighter toned male suddenly screeched, causing John to wince at the intensity of it. "You bastard! How dare you!"

"You started this!" John yelled back, his eyes narrow as he glanced around the area, searching the shadows. "We can talk about this you know! I'm not entirely keen on killing things that don't need to be killed!"

"You're a lying sack of shit!"

"I am not! For fuck's sake just come out here and _talk_ to me!" He didn't even notice he took on Karkat's tone as he lowered himself to the ground and allowed the blue flames of his magic to simmer away.

"Wouldn't hurt." The deeper toned one spoke.

"Well fuck. Fine." There was a sigh and then the strange children were gone and the Hollow Men just hovered by the door, making no movement to come near John who was only a few feet away.

The shadows suddenly moved and blue eyes landed on the two figures that stepped out from behind a large pillar. They appeared human but it was obvious they were far from it. The shorter of the two had bleach-white skin that covered every inch of his body that could be seen. His hair was a strange mix of electric blue, white and cyan and came under his chin in all different lengths. His crystal blue eyes were large for his slightly round face, framed with thick dark eyelashes that brushed against his high cheek bones. He stood with his arms crossed over his chest and wore clothing that was far beyond anything John had ever seen. He wore dark pants with strange black boots that came up his calves and a dark blue hooded shirt that was similar to John's long-sleeved hero garb, only with a regular hood like Dave's.

The other male was a little bit more... menacing to John. The smaller was perhaps the same height as John while the other was a good five or six inches taller. His hair was long, to his shoulders with as many different lengths as the others. It was a strange dark green color that seemed to shift depending on the light. His skin was the oddest tan John had ever seen. It had a hint of purple to it but it was darker than anything the hero had seen before. His eyes were thin and fit his angled face rather well. But they were practically glowing the same green that the Hollow Men's did. This male was dressed like the other, minus the shirt and had his hands shoved into the pockets of his pants. There were sparks of reflection from the few metal pieces that pierced the male's pointed ears and the toned muscles that were shone from the shirtless male were a bit intimidating.

John inhaled deeply, noticing the two were taking him in just as he had done with them. "Okay." He nodded, his shoulder's relaxing slightly. "So, what's going on?"

They glanced at one another before the smaller spoke. "You tell us. Why the fuck are you here?"

"Well, I'm a hero. When Hollow Men show up, it's never a good thing. So I came here to take care of them."

"Fair enough." The blue one shrugged, shifting to lean against the taller one, shoulder against his bicep. "Well, we ain't here to hurt anyone. Pretty sure no one came down here anymore. Thought all the heroes were gone." He sent a glare to his taller companion who simply shrugged in response.

"No. There's eight of us." John glanced over to the hovering Hollow Men. "So, you control them?"

The smaller poked the taller in the cheek. "This one does. Comes with the title and all."

"And... the shadow children?"

The strange grin that came to the other's face made John pause. His lips spread much too wide and there were way too many teeth that were way too sharp. "Mine."

He swallowed hard. "Right... Um, I'm John." He introduced himself to the two a good bit away.

Again, they glanced to one another before the shorter took a few steps forward while the other stood back, watching John closely. "Adairis. Big lug there is Asher." He motioned behind him, the grin on his face remaining.

"Okay. Adairis, Asher. What, um, brings you here?"

Adairis hummed, tapping a sharp black claw against his cheek that reminded John of Karkat's. "How to explain this." He glanced back to his companion who was still watching John. "Honeymoon?"

"Honeymoon." Asher agreed.

John's eyes narrowed in confusion. "Honeymoon?"

"Yup. We wanted to get away from the underworld so here we are. Figured this place would be good enough. It's quiet and secluded. Figured we wouldn't be bothered." The strange male gave John another once over before settling him with an annoyed glare.

"I.. Didn't mean to bother. Just, usually, where there's Hollow Men, bad things happen."

"Those bastards follow that idiot where ever he goes." Adairis flicked a hand at Asher who rolled his eyes. "He controls them. They aren't going to hurt anything. They haven't yet, have they?"

"Well no... Not that I am aware of."

"And you attacked them first." Asher pointed out, his voice gruff as he leveled John with a rather intimidating stare.

"You're right! And I apologize." He bowed his head slightly. "It was a habit really. I've been dealing with them my whole life."

Adairis hummed, tilting his head as he approached the human. John stiffened and remained still as the strange creature invaded his personal bubble and took a rather large sniff. "Oh my. You are delicious, aren't you?" Those eyes flashed with something John couldn't read before shifting back to Asher. "This one's legit." Something in Asher's posture seemed to relax which made John relax a bit more.

"I... What does that mean?"

"That I trust you." Adairis said off handedly before turning away from John to sit on the railing by his side that overlooked the depth of the room. "I can smell when someone's lying. I can smell your soul. You're a good kid."

"I uh... Thanks?" John glanced between the two. "If I may, what um exactly are the two of you?"

Adairis was on his feet instantly and practically launched himself at Asher, who to his credit, caught the other without even flinching. "I did say honeymoon right? That's the right word to use." And with the way Asher looked at the other, John had to look away to fight the blush that rose to his cheeks.

"I didn't mean that... I meant, um, what creatures are you?"

"Oh!" Adairis pulled himself from his lover to face John once again. "That's a complicated question. You're a smart guy, yeah? Figure it out."

John glanced between the two, noticing the grin was back on that frightening mouth while Asher remained to seem nonchalant. He shook the strange feeling that curled in his stomach and tried to focus on the question at hand. He knew those shadow children, he just didn't think it possible. The last time one of those had shown up was ages ago, let alone the fact that Adairis was _male_.

"Well, this may sound stupid but, are you," he motioned to Adairis, "a Banshee?"

"Ding ding ding!" The male clapped his clawed hands together, the grin remaining.

"Wait, really?" He blinked in surprise. "But... Banshee's are... gone. And female?"

Something dark crossed Asher's features and for a second, John thought the male was going to attack. But Adairis just shooshed him, patted his shoulder and then stepped toward the human. "You're not wrong about that. Both parts actually. My mother was the last one, leaving me as only half. Which explains this." He motioned to his solid, humanoid body. "Daddy was demon." He shrugged, waving a hand in the air like that little piece of information wasn't at all important. "And while Banshee's are only female, our biological gender does not make us who we are."

"So you are male. I didn't offend you?"

Adairis just smiled, more lip than teeth. "No offense taken."

A flicker of relief showed in John's eyes as a soft smile came to his lips. "Okay. I think I understand. And your... um lover?"

"Ash is a Hollow Man!" He said with a soft giggle, grabbing the other's wrist to pull him closer.

John glanced between the two, a bit confused. "I'm afraid I do not understand."

"Well, not all need a dead body. Ash is special. He has his own." Adairis patted the male's bare shoulder. "He has demon in him too."

"Ah." As if that explained everything. But John's head was starting to hurt from thinking about it too hard so he let it slip. "Then you both aren't here to hurt anyone?"

"We have more important things to deal with." Asher finally spoke, his arm snaking around Adairis' waist, pulling the smaller male against him.

The flush that came to John's cheeks should have been embarrassing but it seemed to only make Adairis' grin grow, revealing more sharp teeth. "Ah, right. Of course. So, I have nothing to worry about then? For the people of Brightwall? I don't see anything wrong with the two of you staying here. As long as no one's in danger. I can lock the Reliquary door behind me so no one bothers you again."

"That'd be pretty great actually. You'd do that for us?"

John just smiled at the two of them, rubbing the back of his neck against the flush that ran over his cheeks. "Yeah. Not like anyone comes down here anyway. I don't see anything wrong with it."

"Told you he was good." Adairis knocked his knuckles against Asher's chest before he pulled out of his grasp. "You're a trusting little thing, aren't you?" He said to John.

The hero just shrugged. "I've come to learn that not everything is bad. Even if it appears to be, and even if it's known to be so, doesn't always mean it is."

Blue met blue and the smile that came to Adairis' face was too genuine for John to ever think the male could be bad. "You're not like the old heroes, are you?"

He chuckled softly. "Not really. We're known to be this new brand of heroes."

"Eight of you, right?" At John's nod, the banshee continued. "I don't think there's been that many heroes around in fucking centuries. Not since the Guild fell."

"You're right."

"So why _are_ there so many of you?"

"We don't know, to be honest. We've come to think maybe there's something big coming that we need to protect Albion from. We don't know what though."

With the way the two glanced at each other, John wondered if they knew what it was. "Can never been too ready." Adairis finally said with a shrug. "Well, we appreciate you being all understanding and whatnot. Pretty cool of you. And a huge difference from past heroes."

John just smiled at them. "I'm not a fan of violence to be honest. I'm glad we could talk it out. And um, I'm sorry. About your children."

A dark eyebrow perked. "Oh? Don't worry about them. It takes more than that to get to them." He offered the human a smile that was more lip than teeth. "Apology accepted."

John nodded, still feeling a little bad that he had harmed the creatures. He glanced around for his hammer before spotting it laying on the floor where he had first been slammed into the wall. He blinked, rolling his shoulder as he plucked at the blue fabric to get a glance at his now healed wound. "What did you attack me with?"

"Magic." Adairis wiggled his fingers much like Jade liked to do and strange sparks of electric blue came off his fingertips. "Guess we're even." He motioned to John's wounds.

"Yeah. They're scars now." He rubbed over the healed wounds, wincing sightly. "Least I have a cool story to go with them." He spoke softly as he picked up his hammer and attached it to his back. "Well, as great as it was to meet you guys, I should leave you alone now."

Adairis suddenly perked up. "You've been awfully nice, John. Is there anything we can do to repay you?"

The hero only shrugged. "I don't need anything in return." He said as he turned back to the two, his eyes scanning over them before moving to the shelves of books. "Actually... Do you know if there's any books down here about Alternia?"

"Trolls? You wanna know about trolls?"

"Ah, um, Yeah. I have this friend..."

Adairis laughed softly, his claws suddenly wrapping around John's wrist as he tugged the hero forward toward a hallway. "Oh, hero, you came to the right place."

* * *

John was panting when his feet finally landed on solid ground. The flight from Brightwall to Oakfield was so long and he'd traveled back with much more than he had first intended. He dropped the sack of heavy books to the ground, unhooked his hammer which also tumbled to the ground with a loud "thunk" and then collapsed to the ground himself, landing on his bum before he laid down completely in the grass. The scent of the grass was pleasant as the hero closed his eyes and just _breathed_.

"What the ever-loving bulgesucking fuck are you doing, Egbert?" The tip of a boot knocked against his side, making the human peek open an eye at the troll that stared down at him. The sun had set not long ago, casting the area in soft moon light that made Karkat's crimson eyes glow.

"Resting." He mumbled back, closing his eyes once again.

"Because?" Karkat nudged the human's side once again, earning a faint grunt from the sack of flesh.

"I'm tired. I just flew almost six days straight. Give me a break."

Karkat snorted softly, crossing his arms over his chest as he stared down at the human he had not seen in close to two weeks. "You're late."

"Shit went down." The hero mumbled, finding the use of curse words was becoming more common in his vocabulary thanks to the troll.

"Badly?" John missed the flash of concern that crossed the trolls face.

"Not really. I made two new friends. Now shush."

"Don't you shush me, you arrogant bastard!" Karkat snapped, giving John's side a good kick.

The human groaned but otherwise did not move, his eyes still shut tight. "Karkat, I'm _tired_."

"I don't give a flying goosefuck."

John peeked open a blue eyes at the glaring troll. "Fine." He fumbled around for a moment before he snatched the sack of books up and tossed them at Karkat. The troll flinched in surprise but caught it easily enough.

"The hell is this."

"For you. Now shush and let me rest." John mumbled, closing his eyes just enough to appear as if he wasn't paying attention. But he could still see Karkat's face just enough.

The troll narrowed his eyes and pulled the sack open with his claws. A flash of _something_ crossed his features that made John's heart swell. Karkat swallowed hard, his lips curling over his teeth as he reached into the sack and pulled out a leather-bound book. "Where... did you get these?"

"Brightwall. The academy there has this large underground place with ancient books. My new friends helped me find them. There should be enough in there to entertain you for a while. It was as many as I could carry. There's more at the academy."

"They're..." Karkat bit his lip as he dug through the sack, his cheeks flushed a red that spread to the tips of his pointed ears. "All troll romance novels."

"That's what you like, yeah? And I know you've finished those two Rose gave me."

"John..." And something about the tone of his voice made the hero's eyes snap open. Karkat's head was tilted down, thick black bangs hiding his eyes from view but that red blush was still there. He clutched the sack to his chest and he seemed to be trembling just a bit.

Air caught in John's throat as he shifted to his feet quickly, grasping Karkat's shoulders as he invaded the troll's personal bubble. "Are you okay? Did I mess up?"

Lips curled over sharp teeth as sharp claws suddenly wrapped around his wrist. "Shut up, asshole." And then the troll tugged him down until their lips could meet. The kiss itself was no different from those they'd shared before. More teeth than lips, thanks to Karkat and held every ounce of aggression the troll had in his body. But there was just... something off about it to John. Something he couldn't explain. For once, Karkat wasn't mad at him. At least he was pretty sure the troll wasn't mad. Those lips were gone before John could analyze it any more.

Karkat gave the humans' wrist a good tug before moving back toward his cabin. "Ah, wait." John snatched up his hammer and bag from the ground in one hand before following the troll into his home. Karkat placed the sack on the floor before grabbing John's hammer. The hero let him, albeit a bit surprised, and watched in slight awe as he troll lifted it effortlessly to rest against the wall. Then, he grabbed the satchel from John's shoulder and placed it on the floor beside his hammer. Then, a clawed hand pushed John toward the bed and shoved him onto it. "Uh, Karkat?" A strange feeling settled in his stomach. Hope perhaps? And his face flushed about as red as Karkat's.

"You said you were tired. So rest, asswipe." Karkat mumbled before quickly turning away from the human to dig through the sack on the floor.

John just blinked at the hunched over figure. "In your bed?"

"Yes." He hissed softly, his shoulders stiff as he started to stack books beside him on the floor.

The human ran his tongue along his lower lip before he got to his feet and dropped down behind the troll, letting his arms hang over his shoulders, his knees bent against the floor on either side of him. "Mmm, are you mad at me?"

Karkat was stiff under his touch though he leaned back against him. "Do I look mad to you?"

"Hard to tell sometimes." He poked a finger against a red cheek. "You have this expression like all the time."

Sharp fangs snapped at the offending finger that quickly moved away. "You were the one fucking complaining that you were tired."

John hummed softly. "So, if you're ever mad at me, I should just bring you books, yeah?" Karkat remained quiet which was enough proof that John hit the nail right on the head. "So you _were_ mad at me."

"You were late."

"Aw, Karkat!" John shifted to nuzzle his cheek against soft black hair, avoiding the nubby horn nestled within it. "It's good to know you can be sedated with good books. Actually, I don't know if they're good or not. But hey, I tried."

"If you'd give me some fucking peace, I could find out if they're pieces of trash or not." The troll hissed back but didn't even try to push the male off of him.

Something was different. Something John couldn't quite put his finger on and he thought to bring up the quadrant issue. But he was tired and Karkat was happy; well as happy as the troll could probably be. So the human ruffled that soft black hair, got to his feet and promptly collapsed onto the soft bed.

Karkat sat still for a few seconds before he glanced over his shoulder at the resting human. John laid on his back, eyes closed, breathing even for a minute before he shifted, tugging the glasses of his face. He folded them up neatly and then propped them up on the bedpost without even opening his eyes. Then he settled back down and Karkat was sure the male would slip into sleep soon enough.

The troll turned back to the book in front of him and grabbed one with a shaking hand. He caressed the leather cover, claws gentle, before he clutched it to his tight chest. He swallowed past the lump in his throat and bowed his head, fighting against the overwhelming urge to cry. John was not going to be pale. He would never be pale. Karkat wasn't willing to let him. But somehow, someway, the human was slipping into it. Slipping into a quadrant the troll was nowhere near ready to fill. Or so he thought. Honestly, he just didn't realize how desperate he was to fill it...

Neither of them noticed the faint blue glow coming from the top drawer of one of Karkat's dressers.

* * *

"Ah, Um, w-what are you doing?" John's words came out in fumbles as he tried to grasp a hold of his sanity once again. He stood a few feet away from Karkat's open door, a full bucket in each hand and his jaw wide open.

Karkat snarled softly at him, wrapping his arms around his bare chest. "I could ask you the same grubfucking thing."

John swallowed hard and forced a smile, trying to avoid looking at the bare upper body of the troll that he'd never had a good look at until now. "Well, I'm watering your flowers for you. It's been really hot lately and we didn't do it last night. And I got up early so I thought I'd come do it while you slept." He answered honestly, shrugging a shoulder. "The sun hasn't even set yet, why are you up?" He didn't dare ask why the male wasn't wearing a shirt. It wasn't like John was wearing one either. It was hot after all.

"I was going to go bathe before you showed up." Karkat hissed.

John carefully placed the buckets on the ground, watching Karkat with curious eyes. "Bathe? Um, where... how do you do that?"

The look he received made him flinch. "I know you're not that much of a bulgemunching idiot."

"Ah! It's just, you don't have a tub or anything, so I was just curious." He mumbled as he jogged over to the troll. Now that he was closer, he could see the slight sheen of sweat on the troll's grey skin.

"There's a lake nearby." He stated with a shrug.

"Oh. Well. Don't let me stop you!"

Crimson stared into blue for a few minutes. "You're not coming with me."

"Why not?"

"I'm going to bathe you obnoxious pervert."

John's cheeks flushed and he shook his head. "No, No. I want to bathe too! I've been watering your flowers all day in the sun and I'm all gross and sweaty." He patted at his own sticky with sweat skin. He was lucky the sun hadn't burned him. It was part of that natural tan he had.

Karkat eyed him, crimson eyes pausing on tight muscles before he quickly glanced away to the sky. "Fine. Whatever." He turned back around in his home to grab a small satchel that he tossed over his shoulder. "Come on." He brushed past John, closing his door and ignored the musky scent that was the human.

"Great!" John hopped on his feet before he followed the troll. The idea of cool water sounded wonderful to John. He wasn't a fan of being dirty or sweaty and he was both of those things. He never thought about how Karkat cleaned himself but now he was curious. Karkat was a troll so did he bathe differently than humans? John was excited to learn more and he didn't even consider that they would both be _naked_.

Karkat, however, was highly aware of this fact. Which explained the red flush coating his cheeks, nose, and ears. Not that John noticed. Bathing together wasn't entirely a black type of thing but Karkat felt he could push it in that direction as long as John didn't touch him. Touching was something the human had done a lot of lately and Karkat wanted to snap at his past self for allowing the human to become so comfortable.

Karkat lead the hero through a path of trees behind his cabin, down the familiar well-worn path and to the edge of a sparkling lake. The troll opted to ignore the other as he dropped his satchel on a familiar log and started to undo his pants. The sudden squeak made him pause and he turned to see John watching him with smoldering blue eyes and flushed cheeks. The strangest combination he'd seen on the human's face yet.

"What."

"Uh, right, we have to take our clothes off." He mumbled, shifting his eyes away from Karkat quickly.

"This is how bathing works." The troll grumbled and shoved his pants down his hips, stepping from side to side before tugging them off completely to toss beside the satchel.

Of course, John was drawn to staring, watching as the troll removed his pants. He really was grey everywhere. Karkat's toned body didn't stop below the waist and though the troll had his back to John, the human could see the tight muscles in his thighs and below. He made sure to avoid looking anywhere inappropriate but it was hard to not appreciate a well sculpted ass. That was the Strider influence without a doubt.

"Are you going to stare like a thinkpanless monkey or get undressed?" Karkat grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest as he glanced at the human over his shoulder.

"Oh! Um, right." His cheeks flared to life and he quickly averted his eyes to tug off his own pants. John was not ashamed of his body and had no issue letting someone else see him bare. Especially since it was Karkat. He trusted Karkat. So he tugged his pants and underwear off and tossed them on the log before placing his folded up glasses atop them. "The water looks really nice." He stepped up beside the other, his eyes scanning over the refreshing water with slightly blurred vision.

"What the ever-loving shit is that."

John blinked and glanced at the troll beside him whose eyes were drawn down the human's body. He looked down at himself before he realized what Karkat was even looking at. His breath caught in his throat and he found himself looking down at Karkat's private area. "Oh wow."

"You have to be kidding me. What is that fucking thing."

"Uh." John bit his lower lip as he shifted to cover himself with his hands, causing those crimson eyes to glance up to him. "It's rude to stare Karkat."

"What. Is. It." The troll demanded, turning to the other with his hands on his hips, leaning a bit closer into John's personal space.

"It's... It's my... It's my thing Karkat! You know, your thing. For going to the bathroom and for... intimate purposes." The more he spoke the deeper shade of red both of them became.

" _That_ is your bulge?" The troll asked softly, his eyes drawn back down to the area John was covering with his cupped hands.

"W-What's a bulge?" John took a quick look down at Karkat to see there was nothing there. Well, not nothing. There was a glance of some type of red slit but that was about all he could see. John had seen naked woman before and honestly, Karkat resembled that down there. Just, no hair. None actually. Anywhere. Cept his head.

"A sexual organ." Karkat explained easily enough, tearing his eyes away from John's privates to look at the lake as he crossed his arms over his chest. "I knew we were different. Didn't know it was that fucking much."

"D-Do you have one? A bulge I mean?"

"Of course I do."

John felt that asking Karkat where his was would be a little inappropriate so he forced it down. "Oh. Okay. Well! Shall we?" John motioned to the water before quickly stepping in it in an attempt to change the subject. The cool water felt nice against his skin so he moved a bit deeper till it was up to waist. With a smile, he turned back to Karkat who stood on the beach, watching the human was dark eyes. "Come on!"

With a sigh, the troll stepped into the water, flinching at the coolness before he waded in a bit deeper. John smiled in satisfaction as he moved to duck down till the water came to his chin. Karkat wasted no time in diving into the water, staying under for a few minutes before popping back up and shaking his head aggressively. The two bathed in silence, scrubbing the dirt and sweat away with clear water.

John was busy scrubbing the dirt from his hair when he suddenly felt cool sharp claws against his back. He tensed for a second before glancing over his shoulder at the troll behind him. Karkat's eyes were slightly wide, his lips pursed together tightly as the tips of his claws outlined the blue markings between John's shoulder blades. The two wavey lines were identical to those that the hero wore on most of his clothing. John dropped his hands from his wet hair into the water and twisted slightly to see the troll a bit more.

"What is it?"

Realization flashed in Karkat's eyes and the troll quickly snatched his claws away from the blue markings. "N-Nothing."

John perked a brow. "I was born with them." He rolled his shoulders making the lines move in an odd way. "We were all born with markings. Those markings have become our symbols. Kanaya took them and used them in our clothing with her own twists to them. The mark of a hero, as Rose likes to say. Like our magic isn't enough proof." He said with a soft chuckle as he turned to face the other.

"Born with it..." The troll mumbled, bringing a claw to his teeth to gnaw on.

He tilted his head in confusion, reaching out a hand to plant on the troll's shoulder gently. "You okay, Karkat?"

The troll bristled, slapping his hand away. "I'm fucking fine."

John's eyes narrowed slightly. "You don't have to be mean. You looked really out of it. You can't blame me for being concerned."

"I never asked you to be."

Something strange bubbled up in John's stomach. "Don't pull that with me, Karkat. If you didn't want me to care about you, you wouldn't have let me stick around."

"I didn't _let_ you do anything." He hissed, his crimson eyes suddenly flashing to life. "You're an annoying little prick that does whatever the fuck he wants to do no matter what I say."

"If you didn't want me around, you would have said so by now." The human countered.

The snarl he received just proved how right he was. "Fuck you."

Oh. Right. This was a thing, John realized. He'd seen it once before. He'd met two people recently who acted the way he did with Karkat. And though neither of them were trolls, it started to make sense to the human. He knew he couldn't make Karkat happy in the black quadrant but he was starting to see what was so appealing about it. Fight, call each other names and then sloppy make-outs. That was a thing, right?

"I'm sure you wish you could." The human mumbled without bothering to think about his words as he grabbed the back of Karkat's neck and brought him close until their lips smashed together.

The claws that dug into his shoulders were not unwelcome nor was the lithe smooth body that pressed flush against his. His hands dug into wet strands at the base of Karkat's neck, tilting the troll's head to deepen the kiss that was still more teeth than lips on Karkat's side. But those teeth tasted nice and John couldn't get enough of them. Lips parted, tongue met and for once, neither of them pulled away.

John didn't even wince when those claws tightened and broke skin, sending droplets of red into the water. One hand tightened in damp black hair while the other grasped a hip to pull even closer. It was good. Too good. John's head fogged with something he couldn't explain and he found himself kissing Karkat with a vigor he'd never had before. A strange sound came from the back of the troll's throat before those claws tugged and pushed, forcing their lips apart.

John never initiated a kiss. Karkat always did. Never John. Different. It was different. And Karkat was not ready for that. His lips curled into a snarl and he shoved his palms against John's shoulders, forcing their bodies apart. The spark of black left the troll a little breathless but there was too much confusion for him to even enjoy it. Crimson and blue searched each for a few moments before Karkat finally let out the breath he was holding.

"Come on, asswipe. It's going to be dark soon and we'll freeze our asses off if we stay here any longer." He mumbled before quickly turning away from the human to make his way back to shore.

John lingered for a moment, haven been completely oblivious to the reaction his body had to their kiss. He swallowed hard and willed his body to be good. "Ah, I'll be out in a minute. I need to um finish my hair." He stated before ducking into the water.

Karkat glanced at him, narrowing his eyes before he shrugged and grabbed the towel from his satchel to wrap around himself. The black fuzzy fabric practically swallowed him and it was a bit of a relief to be covered from the human. After all, John's body wasn't the only one's reacting to their kiss. Karkat let out a soft groan, burying his head in the soft fabric. Oh, he was in deep. Much too deep. Red, Pale, Black. He couldn't even tell anymore.

* * *

"Hey, Karkat. Can I ask you something?" John mumbled softly, his fingers stilling in the soft petting of the black hair in his lap. The owner of the hair let out a soft grunt, his eyes never leaving the book propped up on his chest. "It's kind of important."

The troll groaned softly, letting his book fall flat on his chest as he tilted his head back to meet the crystal orbs staring down at him. John was propped up against the wall, with Karkat's head against his thigh as the troll read, both of them comfortable on the troll's bed. "What."

He smiled into those annoyed crimson eyes and shifted to let his hand rest in that mess of black. "I don't want to be you Kismesis."

One blink. "Too bad."

John sighed softly. "But Karkat-"

"No. We're not talking about this." The troll mumbled, shifting into a comfortable position as he returned to his book.

"But Karkat." John whined softly, letting his fingers twist in dark hair, around a nubby horn. "We need to talk about this."

"There's nothing to talk about."

The human bit his lower lip, slumping back against the wall as his fingers started carding through the troll's hair once again. "I don't know what we are. But we're not black Karkat and you know it. Why are you trying to force me into a quadrant you know I don't fit in?"

"I said we're not fucking talking about this." A growl rumbled in his throat.

He sighed softly. "You know I can't give you want you need."

Another growl. "Shut the fuck up, Egbert."

"I just, can't we be friends? What's wrong with that? Trolls have friends, right? You said so. Why can't I be that?"

Claws dug into the leather of his book before the troll snapped it closed and tilted his head to meet blue. "Because I fucking said so."

"That's not an answer, Karkat. I want to be your friend."

"We can't be friends!" He snapped, snarling as he moved to get off of John's lap. The fingers in his hair tightened, preventing him from doing so.

"Why not." John hissed back, the tips of his fingers brushing against a horn and thoroughly succeeding in making Karkat freeze.

"I can not be friends with someone who I have quadrant feelings for."

"How do I stop you from having black feelings for me?"

"You don't."

John chewed on his lower lip for a moment before finally releasing Karkat's hair. The troll grunted softly but didn't move his head, watching the human was curious eyes. "So... What do we do then?"

"I don't know, John. We just... go with it I guess." He answered as honestly as he could.

"I don't want to be your Kismesis."

"Well for now, you are." Karkat reached up, grasping John's hand with sharp claws before bringing it back to his hair. "You're also a little pale but what the fuck ever." He removed his hand once those long fingers starting petting through his hair once again and opened up his book.

"I'm... pale?"

"You never fucking heard that." Karkat snapped, his eyes returning to his place as he settled against John.

"R-Right." The human nodded but he was unable to keep the soft smile from his lips. A little pale was a step in the right direction. John wasn't sure if it was the direction he wanted but it was still better than black. Steps. Steps were a good thing. Steps he could handle. He hummed softly to himself, his fingers burying in thick black hair as he was left to his own thoughts while the troll in his lap read.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to add my OCs. I had to. Adairis and Asher are both based on original Fable enemies so it felt right that they were in this. They're not entirely important per say but they do play a part later on in the story line. If you have any questions about them, ask on my tumblr. [Here](http://the-orgasmic-seke.tumblr.com/post/91304265500/so-these-are-my-two-ocs-that-appear-in-wits) are some pictures of them for your viewing pleasure if you'd like. 
> 
> So, I split July into two parts and I'm glad I did. I'm not good with fluff but I hope this went well. Next chapter, we get to meet Dirk and Dave! And then some drama. Cause I'm good at that. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Be sure to let me know what you thought! Comments are always great since you can only kudo a chapter fic once!
> 
> ~Addy~


	7. Month 3 - August: Part 1 - Battleships

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, this chapter went in a totally different direction than I had first intended. And because of that, I've split the month of August into two chapters. You'll see why at the end. 
> 
> Warnings: Blood, fighting, a lot of feels. 
> 
> I advise you listen to [this](http://youtu.be/4bj0MwP1_fw). It actually sums up this entire story pretty perfectly.

_Cause I don't wanna fight no more. Even when the waves get rough. I don't wanna see the day we say we've had enough. And I don't wanna fight this war. Bullets coming off our lips. But we stick to our guns and we love like battleships._

* * *

The room was quiet, lit with the soft glow of a few candles scattered about. There was the occasional sound of a page turning, but otherwise, the room was quiet. And that bothered John. Not too much, and usually, he didn't mind at all. Spending time with Karkat was the best thing in the world. Better than the satisfaction of smashing a Balverines head in the ground with his hammer and that was certainly saying something.

But sometimes, John got bored. Because sitting around all night reading wasn't exactly his idea of a good time. Though Karkat loved to sit around reading all night so John dealt with it to stay in the trolls presence. But tonight was one of those nights where he had too much energy and couldn't just sit around.

"Karkat." The human groaned softly, knocking his head back against the wall. The troll beside him didn't even bother to glance up from his book as he let out a soft grunt of acknowledgement. "I'm bored."

"Good for you." He mumbled softly, flipping to the next page of his book.

John groaned once again. "But Karkat~." He drew out the others name as he leaned a shoulder against his. "This is boring."

The troll snorted softly. "You never complained before you snufflesack."

"Yeah, well, cause I usually don't mind. But I've been doing nothing alllll day and now I want to do something."

"Then go do something."

John whined softly in the back of his throat. "I want to do something with you."

"I'm reading." Karkat stated the obvious.

He groaned again. "I know that."

The troll grunted, shifting to let his legs lay down on the bed from their previously bent position. John saw an opportunity and took it. He snatched the book from Karkat's claws, careful to mark the page before closing it and tossing it to the side of the bed. Karkat opened his mouth to shout some type of insult but John plopped down in his lap, thoroughly succeeding in shutting the troll up.

"I'm bored, Karkat. Do something with me. We can read anytime." He mumbled, his cheek pressed against a warm thigh while his arms stretched out over his head much like a cats.

After a few tries, Karkat finally spoke again, a red flush crawling up his ears. "What the fuck do you want to do then?"

"I don't know." He winced at the hiss he received. "I just want to do _something_."

"And I want to read. So until that useless thinkpan of yours comes up with something worth doing, that's what I am going to do." He reached for the book John had tossed but found with the human in his lap, he couldn't bend properly and reach the book. "Goddamnit, John. Get your fat ass off me." He hissed.

"That's it!" The hero suddenly sat up on his knees beside the troll, a grin on his face. "Let's spar!"

"What."

"Spar! You know, fight. Hone our skills or something. I haven't fought something in a while."

Crimson eyes just blinked at the hero. "You want to fight me?"

"Yeah! We can spar!" He raised his hands and wiggled his fingers. "Fisticuffs!"

"I..." The red blush spread over a cute button nose and rounded cheeks. "Are you... John are you fucking openly flirting with me?"

"I-What?" Dark eyebrows shot up in surprise, a blush spreading over his cheeks.

"You... You're asking me to fight you!"

"I... Wait. No! I'm not. Well I am but it's not!" His head spun for a second as he quickly shook it. "It's just for fun! It's like play fighting! Sorta. Without the intention of hurting each other!"

Crimson eyes narrowed in confusion, the blush fading from his cheeks and he ignored the sense of disappointment that filled him. "You are the biggest grubfucking idiot I've ever had the displeasure of meeting."

"Please tell me you understand what I mean."

"Yeah, I guess."

"Good!" John grinned and slipped off the bed to his feet. "Come on!" And then he hopped out of the cabin into the cool air of the night. It took Karkat a moment to follow him because the troll had to collect himself. He wasn't exactly sure what John meant but if it meant fighting him, he was fine with that. "Alright!" Karkat followed John around the cabin to the open grass-covered space behind it. "You stay over there and I'll be over here." John motioned about as he planted his feet on the ground while Karkat stayed a few feet away. "Okay so! Rules. No magic, which means me. And be careful with your claws? Also! No kissing!"

"What." Karkat perked a bow.

"Well, every time we fight you kiss me. And that's not what this is. This is for fun. This isn't black or anything. So no kissing!"

"Whatever." The troll shrugged, feeling the urge to attack crawl over his skin already. John was willing to let the troll attack him and Karkat's instincts were screaming at him to take advantage. The human had no idea what he was dealing with. "Lets get this shit over with." He growled, arching his back slightly as he crotched down, his claws relaxed at his sides.

"Right." John nodded, bringing his fists up in a defensive way as he spread his feet apart. "Ready?" The hiss he received was enough of an answer. "Okay. Go!"

But neither of them moved. Karkat stayed crouched down while John watched him with calculating eyes. Karkat was a hunter. He wasn't the type to just jump and attack unless it was black. This was different. John had said so himself. So Karkat waited for his opening. He was surprised to find John was the same type of fighter. The type to wait and see. This could take a while.

Then John made his mistake. In his confusion of Karkat not attacking, he relaxed slightly and glanced away for just a second. When he glanced back, Karkat was gone. The pleasurable sense of thrill ran up his spine and his muscles tensed, ready for some form of an attack. Adrenaline started to grow and John couldn't help the smile that came to his lips.

The body that suddenly collided with his from behind was expected and John turned slightly, grabbing the trolls wrists to flip them over. When they hit the ground, Karkat was on his back, snarling up at the human who pinned him down. John didn't have a chance to enjoy the small victory because Karkat's boots pressed into his sides painfully and pushed, sending John off him. The troll was on his feet once again and launched into the air after the human. John scurried to his feet and warily avoided the swipe of claws at his chest. He hissed softly, watching as Karkat turned to face him. He held his fists up once again while Karkat crouched down, his claws shaking at his sides, ready to strike. They circled one another for a good few minutes before Karkat's patience wore out and he attacked.

The two went at it for a good hour or so. John ended up with a few scratches but had yet to actually land a hit on Karkat. The troll was too fast and without his flying, John didn't stand a chance. Something about that gave both a thrill. Karkat was hunting; John was the prey. Cat and mouse. Toying with each other and it felt wonderful. John was starting to see even more how it could be a type of romance. Sparing with Karkat was so different from doing so with Dave or Jake. He got a different type of thrill from it.

Eventually, however, Karkat tired of playing. John was panting softly, a light flush on his cheeks and he'd just avoided another swipe of claws when Karkat let out a deep animatistic growl. It was a warning. A warning that Karkat was done playing. But John wasn't even sure what that meant. When he turned around to the troll, he was gone without a trace.

John gave himself a few seconds to catch his breath, crystal blue eyes glancing about for any sign of the troll. He saw flashes of glowing red eyes but the troll was too quick for him to keep up with all. All he could tell was that he was being circled and a sense of fear prickled up his spine. His heart raced, his blood pumped, a trickle of sweat slipped down his neck and his muscles tensed.

He didn't stand a chance.

Claws sunk into his shoulders, thighs clamped down around his hips and with the sudden weight of the other dropping on him from above, John was shoved to the ground, wincing at the pressure. Crimson eyes locked with his, lips curled back over sharp teeth and John didn't have a chance to stop Karkat from sinking those pin sharp teeth into his neck.

"F-Fuck!" He gasped, his hands grasping into soft raven hair to tug. "Kar-Fuck. Shit that hurts." He groaned, his eyes closing tightly as blood pooled from the wound around Karkat's lips and teeth.

The troll let out a pleased sound, close to a moan that set the human's body on fire, before he released John's neck and leaned up, sitting on his stomach as he wiped the blood from his mouth with the back of his sleeve. "I believe I fucking win."

"Fuck, Karkat!" John pressed a hand to his neck to stop the bleeding as he glared up at the other. "You weren't supposed to actually hurt me."

Karkat shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest as he peered down at the other. "It got boring." Crimson eyed John's hand, watching as the flow of blood stopped. Once John pulled his hand away, the wound was healed, leaving a scar that left a strange swell of pride in the troll's chest.

"My friends are going to start thinking you're trying to kill me. I have more scars from you than anything in my life." John grumbled softly but didn't even try to push the troll off him. He just laid on the ground, his arms spread out on either side as he peered at the troll.

"You said to be careful with my claws. I was."

"Okay, guess it is my fault then."

"Globefondling dumbshit." Karkat mumbled, rolling his eyes as he ran his tongue over his teeth, enjoying the taste of blood lingering there.

John's heart thumped and his hands moved on their own. He grasped Karkat's face between his hands and tugged the troll down till their lips met. The kiss was soft, lips to lips and left both of their heads spinning. Claws grasped John's wrists, tugging his hands away as the troll sat up with a hiss.

"The fuck. You said no kissing."

"You won." John said softly, shrugging off the strange feeling forming in the pit of his stomach as he leaned up on his elbows.

Crimson eyes narrowed at him but didn't push the issue any farther. "Douchecrumpet." He mumbled before leaning down to press his lips to John's for a few seconds before he was gone, moving off the human. "Are you satisfied now? Can I go read?"

"Ah, um, Yeah."

* * *

Claws racked through his hair, scraping against his scalp to send shivers down his spine. Karkat's hands were gentle in his hair, petting, smoothing, sending pleasurable sparks through the human's body. His cheeks pressed against a warm thigh, his hands tucked under his chin and John was about as comfortable as he could be. Karkat was quiet as he read another book but his hand didn't once still in John's hair, making the human feel sleepy.

"Karkat?" He mumbled softly, peeking an eye open and shifted to glance at the troll above him.

"Hm?"

"Read to me?"

The troll paused, shifting his eyes from the book to the blue-eyed hero in his lap. "What."

"It's too quiet. Read to me."

Crimson eyes narrowed for a second before shifting back to the book in his hands. Those grey cheeks flushed red before he snapped the book shut and placed it on the bed beside him. He shifted just enough to snatch a different book from the closest shelf above the bed and pried it open with one hand. John settled against his thigh, claws racking through his hair once again as Karkat's soft voice lulled him to sleep.

* * *

"You look so tired." John said with a soft chuckle, ruffling the soft hair of his troll, avoiding the horns nestled within.

"Yeah? Whose goddamn fault is that, huh?" Karkat hissed back, not even bothering to push John's hand away. It felt _good_ in his hair.

His fingers moved through that hair a bit more before he removed his hand to drop at his side. "Sorry sorry. I'll leave you to sleep then." He smiled fondly at the troll, finding it harder and harder to leave him every morning. "I'll see you tonight."

"Yeah yeah."

John swooped in and planted a soft kiss against a grey cheek before he pushed off into the air. He laughed at the flush that came to those grey cheeks as he gave the troll a wave that was returned with one particular finger. Warmth filled his chest as he hovered in the air and they watched each other. After a few moments, John finally turned and flew off back toward Oakfield. Once that blue figure disappeared over the trees, Karkat returned inside his home and collapsed on his bed.

The hero wasn't sure how he felt about the troll anymore. He had thought he wanted to befriend him but things were different. He couldn't pick out what exactly was different, but they fought less and spent more time just enjoying each others company. He felt it all started when he brought those books back for Karkat. They weren't black anymore. That much was obvious but John was scared to bring it up to the troll again. Because honestly, the human wasn't even sure what he wanted anymore.

As he came over the trees and entered Oakfield, John noticed a group of villagers gathered in the center town, near the Sandgoose. He swooped down toward them, curious, but then froze in the air when he noticed the four heroes standing in the center. Happiness swelled in his chest as he pushed through the air, not even stopping as he flew over the villagers heads.

Dave didn't stand a chance.

"Holy fucking hell, Egbert!" The blonde exclaimed as he was suddenly snatched from the ground and pulled into strong arms.

John laughed whole heartedly, hugging the struggling red-clad hero in his arms for a few seconds before he lowered them back to the ground. "Dave! It's been forever!" He exclaimed once he released the other.

"Fuck man." A soft smile was on those pale lips as he brushed off his clothing. "You know I hate flying."

"Sorry. I got excited."

Dave snorted softly, adjusting the reflective goggles over his bright red eyes. His stylish blonde hair covered the straps of the goggles and brushed over his pale forehead. He wore his hero outfit, the same bright red as his eyes, with a darker red cogwheel in the chest. It was short-sleeved, like John's but underneath, Dave wore a darker red long-sleeved shirt to protect his sensitive skin from the sun. The hood was normal, and he wore a belt around his waist with two covered swords attached. The black buckled boots he wore came up over his calves and covered his red pants. The male was tall, lanky and John noticed the height difference between them wasn't as large as it once had been.

"Like a puppy." The blonde held out a fist for the other. "Good to see you."

"You too!" John bumped his knuckles against the offered fist, his smile growing at the soft one on those pale lips. "What are you doing here?"

"John!" Jade called, jumping on the hero's back and wrapped her arms around his neck. "It's rude to ignore other people!"

"Sorry!" He laughed softly, letting her drop to her feet so he could turn around and hug her. "It's great to see you too!"

"It's been a while, so we thought we'd come visit you, mate." Jake stepped forward, a smile on his lips as he placed a hand on John's shoulder. "Jade told us you've made Oakfield your home."

"Yeah!" Blue eyes lit up.

A smile curled to those lips. "I take it your discovery went well."

"Very well." John said with a nod, not noticing the flush across his cheeks.

"I'm happy for you."

John nodded to the older male before turning to Dave who'd stepped up to his side. "Are you guys staying? Please say you're staying!"

"You got a home, yeah?" Dirk stepped up behind Jake, an arm dropping over the male's shoulders as he peered down at John with goggles much like Dave's though they had sharper edges. His hair was just a blonde, but much more of a mess, sticking up in all different directions with bangs that came over his forehead. His hero garb was a deep purple, short-sleeved and had a strange heart symbol on the chest. His hood had a tail like John's just so much shorter.

"Of course! You guys are welcome to stay with me!" He grinned, more than happy to have his friends around. It had been a long time since he spent an extended period of time with anyone but Karkat. Oh. Karkat. He'd have to tell the other his friends were visiting. He wasn't ready for his friends to meet Karkat yet... So he'd have to sneak off later to tell the troll.

"Well, let's get this motherfucking party started then." Dave said with a soft grin, leaning an arm on John's shoulder and caused the others to nod in agreement.

* * *

Casey giggled as John picked her up off the ground and spun her around a few times. Annabelle watched in amusement before shaking the offered hand of Jade. John tossed the giggling girl over his shoulder before approaching Dave who stood with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Casey, this is Dave. He's my best bro." John spoke as he twirled the girl around to rest against his hip. "Dave, this is Casey!"

"Bro!" Casey reached out with grabbing hands at the red-clad hero who just stared at her. John gave him a pleading look which made the blonde sigh softly and take the girl into his arms. "Can bro fly too?"

"Nah, little sis." Dave answered, shifting the girl to rest against his hip like John had done.

"He runs super fast though." John pointed out.

"Oh my goodness, she's so cute!" Jade appeared beside them, hopping on her heels with her hands clasped together against her chest. "Hi Casey! I'm Jade! I'm a hero too!"

Those blue eyes grew wide with awe. "You're a hero too? There's a lady hero?!" She squealed and practically lunged from Dave's arms and into Jade's.

"You bet! There's four of us!" She held the girl against her with a bright smile on her lips. "Girls can be heroes too!"

"Wow!" Casey's eyes were wide, her lips tugged back into a huge smile that warmed all of their hearts. "Can you fly?"

"No, John's the only one who can fly. But! Do you wanna see what I _can_ do?"

"Yes!" She clapped her hands together. "Please!"

Jade giggled softly as he passed the happy child off to John. "Okay. Watch this!" She turned around and ran off away from everyone else who gathered around outside Annabelle's home. She stopped a while away and waved at Casey, who returned the wave. With a grin, Jade let a green mist surround her body and then she disappeared. Casey squealed in surprise when the woman appeared beside John instantly.

"Ah! That's amazing!" Casey exclaimed, reaching for Jade who happily took her.

"Dave." John turned toward the blonde. "Why don't you show her what you can do?"

He shrugged one shoulder before flicking a finger at John. Casey blinked, and watched as John suddenly stopped moving. Jade whispered to the girl to watch closely so she narrowed her eyes and tried to focus. It was then that she could see John _was_ moving. Just very, very slowly.

"Dave can stop time, slow it down, and speed it up. It's pretty cool." Jade explained while Dave put his hand away so John could return to normal. The blue clad hero felt his head spin before the world was right again.

"Ah, that's still really weird, Dave."

"Bro! Sis!" Casey wiggled out of Jade's arms till she was put into the ground. "Will you play with me?"

John glanced between his friends, watching as a smile came to Dave's lips and Jade jumped up and down in excitement. He didn't think it would take long for them to fall in love with the little girl and he was happy to find he had been right. It wasn't long before Jake and Dirk were showing off for the excited little girl as well. She really did have a way of capturing everyone's hearts.

"You seem to be really happy here." Jade said softly from John's side as they watched Dirk and Jake spar for the clapping little girl in her mother's arms.

"Yeah. It's really nice."

"Hmm. And Karkat?" Jade ventured.

The blue-eyed hero paused, a frown coming to his face. "Shit. I was supposed to go see Karkat last night."

"Well, you were much to intoxicated to fly. And I'm sure he'll understand. You're a hero, you get called off for quests all the time." She spoke softly, kindly, a warm hand on his arm.

"Yeah but... I usually tell him before I go anywhere."

"Perhaps you should go quickly and tell him we're here." She said with a nod, giving him a soft smile. "I'll go with you."

"Ah, I don't um... I don't want to just show up with someone else. I don't know how he'll react."

"Well go alone then. We'll stay with Casey. Just hurry-"

"Bollocks!" Jack suddenly yelped, catching their attention. The sight of blood wasn't a surprise but it made Casey suddenly squeak in surprise. Jake rubbed at the cut on his cheek, a smile on his face as he glanced at the spiky blonde. "You got me, mate."

Dirk's body shifted, a hand reaching out to brush over the cut before lips were pressed to it. Jade tensed at John's side, Jake's cheeks flared to life and Dave watched on unaffected, though bright red eyes glanced between the pair and John. But John wasn't paying it any mind. He broke away from Jade to approach Annabelle, worried Casey was going to have some crazy flashback from when she was kidnapped. But the girl was fine, smiling at the two men making a fuss not far away.

"Goodness, Dirk, that was completely unnecessary."

"So says the one who told me to be more affectionate."

"Yes well I um.." He really had no comeback for that.

"She's okay?" John asked, glancing down at the smiling girl.

"She's fine, John." Annabelle reassured him. "A little blood doesn't scare her as much anymore."

He sighed in relief. "Good."

Annabelle nodded, giving him a smile before she called to the others. "Why don't you all join us for lunch? I feel a break is needed."

"Lunch would be lovely." Jake said with a bright smile, ignoring the way Dirk glared at him through his goggles.

"Yes, thank you!" Jade came up beside Annabelle, giving John a worried glance before smiling at the woman. "Would you like some help?"

"That would be great."

John didn't get the chance to leave for Karkat and he really hoped the troll would understand.

* * *

"Let's jam, bro." Dave said softly as he plopped down in the chair beside John. Dirk and Jake had gone off to the Sandgoose while Jade busied herself with cleaning up John's home. He thought it was clean enough but the woman insisted it needed a feminine touch. He didn't have the heart to tell her not to.

"About what?" John asked, tilting his head to the side in slight confusion.

Dave glanced at Jade who paused in organizing some books on a shelf. "This troll. You've talked loads of shit with Rose and Jade. It's my turn."

"Oh!" A grin spread over John's face as he leaned his folded arms on the kitchen table. "Karkat's great. He's really interesting, you know? Not just cause he's a troll, but just in general. Though being a troll is really different. They have these weird types of romance and stuff. But Karkat's really cool. He's a lot of fun to be with."

"What do you guys do together?"

"Um, sometimes we hunt together. We also take care of this beautiful garden that he has! And um, sometimes we spar? And most of the time we read together. He loves to read. He's a sucker for romance novels so I brought a bunch of them for him from Brightwall." John's face lit up as he spoke, his cheeks flushing and his smile bright. "He loved them! I'd never seen such an expression on his face! So now we just kinda cuddle on his bed and read."

A blonde eyebrow perked over dark goggles. "You cuddle?"

John blinked, the flush on his cheeks growing. "Ah, well, yeah? Sorta? Not really I guess."

"Did you ever talk to him about the black thing?" Jade asked, sitting down on the other side of John.

"Yeah. I tried. Really hard, I promise." He sighed softly, running a hand through dark hair. "But he said we can't be friends when he has quadrant feelings for me. We just decided to see what happens."

"The fuck is black?"

"Oh, um, it's like this love/hate thing though not really?" John chewed on his lower lip as he tried to explain it. "It's like, he hates me right? But he gets this thrill out of hating me. So we fight a lot, like physical, though not really so much anymore... I honestly don't know what we are anymore."

Dave narrowed his eyes behind his goggles. "Is that what that is?" He jerked his chin toward John's neck causing the hero to blush and cover the mark on the side of his neck with his palm.

"Y-Yeah. I have a lot of new scars from him. And okay, I know it's weird and it doesn't seem healthy but like, to him, it is. Cause he's a troll."

"But you're not a troll." Jade pointed out, her green eyes filled with worry. "I thought you had this worked out."

"We're working on it, okay? We haven't actually fought in a while and this is from... Well when we spared the first time and he got over excited. It was my fault really."

"Sparing with a troll. You're a brave fucker, Egbert." Dave laughed softly, a smirk tugging at his lips.

"He's so fast!" John sat up straight, the fondness for the troll coming back to his face. "Maybe faster than you, Dave! And he's so smart. He's an amazing hunter."

"John." Jade spoke his name softly, tilting her head at him. "Do you still want to be his friend? _Just_ his friend?"

"I..." He swallowed hard. "I... I don't know anymore."

"Do you still want to try the pale route?"

John thought it over in his head for a few moments. "Yeah, I think I do. Because he's opening up to me more and more and... I want to be that close to him."

"Are you sure you're not red for him?"

The hero flushed to the tip of his ears. "N-No! I'm not. I'm really not."

When the other two glanced at each other, it was obvious neither believed him. But they didn't want to push their friend. John would come to terms with it when he was ready. All they wanted was for him to be happy. And though he was happy, they weren't sure if he would continue to be so on the path he traveled.

"Ah!" John suddenly got to his feet, the chair scrapping against the wood floor as he did so. "I never told Karkat what was going on!" Panic crossed his features and he was headed toward the door in an instant.

"John, the sun is still up." Jade pointed out causing the male to pause.

"Oh... Right... Um, I'll go once it's dark."

"Great. Well, until then," Dave got his feet, a smirk on his lips as he turned toward his best bro, "wanna spar?" The way John's face lit up was enough of an answer.

* * *

A faint growl echoed through the dark room, followed by the sound of shuffling sheets. Try as hard as he could, Karkat found it impossible for him to sleep. And he fucking needed his sleep! But last night marked the second night John had not shown up. Karkat wished he could claim he didn't care. He wished he could be relieved the human hadn't shown up. But it bothered him deep to the core.

John had said he would return that night and he never did. Nor did he the next night. Karkat had not slept since then. He couldn't stop the claws of worry in his stomach. What if something happened to the idiot hero? Karkat wanted to assume he was called off to a quest but even then, John always came to inform him first. It was unlike the hero to just... disappear.

"Son of a bulgeblistering bitchface." Karkat grumbled, throwing the blankets off of his body as he sat up. He wasn't going to get any sleep any time soon. His lips curled over his fangs as he got to his feet, annoyed at himself for being so worried about the human. Karkat didn't even want to think about _why_ he was so worried. That lead down a path he wasn't ready to take.

Claws snatched at a black curtain and pulled it slightly so he could peer outside. The sun was low in the sky but it would still be a few hours before it set. Crimson eyes narrowed as he thought for a second, his tongue clicking against his fangs before he moved away from the window. He snatched up his black shirt, tugged it on and then shoved his feet into his boots, tugging them up till they were on properly. He snatched up the black hooded cloak hanging by his door and tugged it on, covering most of his body.

The air of the summer evening was warm as he stepped outside, tugging up the hood over his horns and covered most of his face. He let out a soft snarl as he shut the door behind him and then took off running. The cloak around him snapped in the wind as he jumped into the trees and took off, branch to branch, toward Oakfield. He felt the shift in the air when he reached the border of Albion and it sent a chill over his grey skin. He hissed softly, sniffing the air and followed the scent he knew to be only John.

Carefully, he came to a stop at the edge of the woods, glancing around at the dirt path that led from the Temple of Light to Oakfield. After a deep breath, he stepped out onto it, tugging the cloak closer around himself. He squared his shoulders and then started down the path toward the town. Karkat's secret to sneaking around human territory was to appear as if you already belonged there. Hiding only made him suspicious. So he walked around as if he belonged there. Though the hood and his hair helped hide his horns and grey skin.

Oakfield was a place Karkat had visited a handful of times though it had been quite a while since the last time he'd been by. The town had not changed one bit. He tucked his claws closer to his sides under the cloak as he approached the center of town where a number of villagers were going about their day. He thought to stop one and ask where the hero lived. Obviously they all would know. But Karkat didn't even need to ask. The harsh sound of metal clashing with metal caught his attention.

Spinning around, the troll moved up a path in the direction of the sound, his feet urging him forward a bit faster. He controlled the urge to run but something dark sank into his stomach. People were walking around as if nothing was wrong but that was the sound of a fight. Karkat knew that better than anything. His breath stilled as he came over the hill and froze at the flash of blue and red.

John spun around, his feet digging into the ground as he stilled himself, his hammer rose in a defensive way while a red-clad male Karkat just knew to be Dave stood still, a sparkling sword held in front of him at the ready. The troll watched on in confusion as John took off running, hammer raised at the other hero. Dave avoided the attack, spinning around but John predicted that. The hammer swung, catching the blonde with the handle that then pulled him against the grinning raven haired male.

"Got you!" John said with heart filled laughter, the grin on his face making Karkat's heart still.

Dave groaned, a hint of a smirk on his lips as he pushed against John's chest, trying to get the male to release him. "Cheap tricks, asshole."

Something dark and dirty settled in Karkat's stomach and he suddenly felt worse than before.

"I still got you!" John's bright eyes sparkled with amusement in the same way they did when he sparred with the troll. "Admit it, Dave! I beat you."

"Never. I don't consider this beaten." Pale hands reached up to sneak around John's neck and pulled the hero down till their heads knocked together. "Unless you're hitting on me, cause then, hey, sup bro."

John's face flushed darkly, his arms flailing as his hammer dropped to the ground with a thunk. "Dave!"

"Ha!" The blonde chuckled, releasing the other to snatch his sword from the ground. "Your face! That was priceless, dude."

Karkat's throat went dry and suddenly his mouth didn't taste all that nice anymore. He felt sick to his stomach so he quickly spun away from the heroes and started walking back down the path. His breathing came harshly, his heart pounded in a painful way, as if his chest was being crushed, and his hands wouldn't stop shaking. His mind was blank, unable to comprehend what he'd just seen.

The troll didn't wait till he was back to the edge of the woods. He took off running the moment he reached the middle of town, startling a few villagers, not that he cared. He ran, and he ran fast. As fast as he possibly could because if he didn't, he was sure he was going to lose whatever was in his stomach. He ripped the hood from his head once he reached Alternia and pressed forward, launching into the air before landing on the ground in front of his cabin.

He ripped open his door and entered, slamming it shut behind him before he ripped off the cloak. It fell to the ground and he wasted no time in burying himself under a pile of blankets in his bed. He stayed there for a few minutes, his chest heaving and his breath coming in pants as he buried his head in his pillow. It took him a while to calm down and once he did, the pain came back like a tidal wave.

"Fuck." He whimpered softly, pressing his face into his pillow harder.

John had not come by because he was busy with his friends. His _friends_ who were more important than Karkat. Friends that John had while all Karkat had was... John. That realization made a bubble of pain float up his throat and stick there, leaving his throat dry and sore. It hurt to swallow. Like there were a bunch of sharp pins pressing against his skin.

Karkat felt pathetic. So fucking pathetic because he actually thought that maybe he meant something to the human. No, he knew he meant something. But it wasn't enough. It wasn't what Karkat felt for him. Because John had not even bothered to come by and tell him what was going on. Because his friends were more important. Not that Karkat could blame him. He'd known his fellow heroes since he was little. Karkat had only known the human for a few months. There was no way he could compete with that.

A growl came from the back of his throat, shooting pain down his spine.

What did he care if John cared more about his friends? Why would that bother the troll? Karkat wished he knew. He saw John and Dave in his mind once again, making his heart squeeze tightly. For some reason, Karkat had assumed John was only like that with him. He didn't like being wrong. The troll knew plenty about Dave. John had spent a good deal of time telling Karkat about each hero. But he had no idea they were... so close.

"Fuck." He grumbled against his pillow. "Even if they are pale... why does it fucking matter to me? It shouldn't matter it... It doesn't... Goddamnit." His voice went soft, his eyes closing tightly to fight against the prickling feeling of tears. It wasn't supposed to be this way! Karkat was never meant to develop feelings for anyone. Especially not pale feelings. Especially not for the most annoying human being on the planet...

"Damnit." He whimpered softly, curling up into a ball as he buried his face in his hands. "Not again. I'm not fucking doing this again!" He snarled at himself, wishing that he could go back in time and stop the human from ever getting close to him. Because it fucking _hurt_.

Knowing John cared about his friends more than Karkat, _hurt_. Knowing that John had probably even forgotten about him because his friends were around _hurt_. It hurt so much. Like the hero had taken that hammer and smashed it against his chest. There was no denying the pale feelings Karkat had for him now. But if Karkat was anything, it was stubborn. He wasn't going to give in to those pale feelings.

But he honestly didn't know what to do anymore. He wasn't even sure what he wanted... He just... He wanted John. He wanted the hero back where he belonged; by his side. But John had other people who were important to him. Karkat couldn't be selfish and he knew that. John wasn't a troll. He could be pale with loads of people without thinking twice about it. Which just gave more of a reason why Karkat _shouldn't_ be pale with the human.

"Fuck him..." He mumbled softly between his fingers. "I'm not... I can't do this..."

* * *

Karkat wasn't sure how long he'd been laying there, curled in a ball with his mind running around in circles. He'd come to the conclusion that John had probably not meant to hurt him. The hero was a lot of things, but an asshole was not one of them. Of course, that didn't make the memory of John and Dave together hurt any less. Or that fact that the hero hadn't come by in a few days. No, Karkat had not forgiven him for that. He knew most of the pain he suffered was caused by his own insecurities and he hated it. Was he even capable of having a normal relationship with someone? He wasn't sure anymore.

The series of knocks on his door made him stiffen, his breath stopping as he waited to see what would happen. "Karkat?" John called from the other side of the door, knocking softly a few more times. "Are you home? I um, I'm sorry I haven't been by. Things got kinda crazy and I just... Finally had the chance to see you. Are you in there?"

Some type of anger swelled in Karkat's chest at the others voice. He ripped the blankets of him, got to his feet, made for the door and wrenched it open. Blue eyes stared at him in surprise but Karkat didn't even bother to say a word as he attacked the male. John yelped in surprise when those claws dug into his shoulders and forced him back onto the ground, the troll pinning him down with a snarl on his lips.

"K-Karkat!" John gasped, his hands going to grasp the wrists pinning his shoulders down. "I'm sorry! I-I know you're mad!"

"You fucking piece of worthless scum." The troll hissed, his crimson eyes flashing with a type of hatred John had never seen before. "Why are you here?! Why did you bother to come back?!"

"W-What? I, Karkat, please." His face contorted in pain as he tugged at those wrists, claws breaking into skin. "My friends surprised me by stopping by and I wanted to come tell you I wouldn't be by but... Things just happened so fast and I, I'm sorry! I really am! I don't blame you for being mad. I don't. Please forgive me."

Something stilled in Karkat's stomach, covering his anger with a strange feeling that left his heart pounding. John was owning up to his mistake and apologizing for it. But then Karkat remembered the look on John's face while he was sparring with Dave and that warm feeling was _gone._ His lips curled back over his teeth as his claws dug deeper into his skin, slicing at the soft flesh, making the hero wince in pain.

"No." He hissed softly, refusing to admit that he was more angry with himself than John. It was jealousy and he knew it. But he wasn't willing to accept that just yet.

"N-No?" John gasped, his blue eyes wide with a type of fear Karkat had never seen.

"I saw you. With him. Earlier." He hissed, his mind losing control over his mouth. "You forgot me."

"I didn't! I swear Karkat! I was going to come see you but it was day time and I didn't want to bother you while you were sleeping!"

"Since when has that ever fucking stopped you before?!" Karkat hissed but there was a tone of desperation that John picked up on.

"I... Karkat... Did I... Did I hurt you?!" He gasped, his hands going from those wrists to cup those rounded cheeks.

Crimson eyes narrowed as the troll prickled and grabbed those wrists, claws digging into soft flesh as he pulled them away from his face. "No!" He growled, a dark hate growing in his stomach against his will.

"You... You're lying!" Blue eyes lit up in realization and he moved to hug the male but those claws dug into his wrists and pinned them against the ground on either side of his head, blood dripping down to clot in the dirt.

"Fuck you, John Egbert." He hissed, lowering his face just a few inches from the hero's. There was plenty more Karkat could say. Fuck him for making him _feel_ again. Fuck him for turning him into a troll he never wanted to be. Fuck him for doing this to him. Fuck him for making him care. Fuck him for _everything._ But he spoke none of these things.

"Karkat..." John mumbled sadly, his eyes searching crimson for any sign of forgiveness.

The troll hissed through his teeth before he pushed forward and closed the distance between them with a hard kiss. Karkat didn't care if the human had other friends. He didn't care if John was already pale with someone else. He didn't fucking care. Because John Egbert was _his_. And he'd do what he could to keep it that way.

John gasped at the kiss, parting his lips and gave Karkat the opportunity to slip his tongue inside. His eyes slipped closed at the taste of the human and he pressed closer, claws tightening around those wrists as he ravished the human's mouth. John was at a loss for what to do. It felt _good_ ; having Karkat pin him down and just... Kiss him like that. I felt amazing actually. But there was something so very wrong about it. Something John couldn't put his finger on. He wanted this but he didn't want it like this.

The hero tried to pull his wrists free from those claws to no avail. All he managed to do was slice himself a few new cuts in the process. Panic surged up his spine when Karkat _moved_ against him, causing the strangest fire to light in his stomach. No, No, No. This wasn't right. This was not how he wanted this to happen. John didn't even realize he'd been pooling magic around himself until it was much too late.

The explosion of blue thrust Karkat off of the human and slammed him to the ground, taking his breath away. The troll groaned, rolling over to his stomach as he got to his knees. He choked on air, trying to get some into his lungs to no avail. John had knocked the air from his lungs with that magic of his and left the troll unable to breathe.

"Karkat!" With a panicked shout, John scrambled to the troll's side a hand patting at his back but it didn't help at all.

Karkat gasped, his crimson eyes going wide in panic as he tried everything he could to get air in his lungs. But he couldn't. His chest tightened painfully, his head spun and adrenaline sparked through his body.

"Shit! Shit!" John gasped, grabbing the troll's shoulders to pull him up so they could face one another. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" He grabbed either side of Karkat's face between his hands before he closed their lips together, making the troll squirm against him. John kept a tight grip on Karkat's face and pried those lips apart with his tongue before he _blew_ into Karkat's mouth.

With a sharp intake of breath, Karkat finally felt the pressure in his chest lighten as the magic within John's air opened up his airway. He took gulps of air greedily, his claws clinging to the human as his head spun. John sighed with relief as he pulled his lips from the others. Karkat coughed a few times, wincing at the strange pressure in his chest but air was following properly now and he knew he would be okay.

"I'm so sorry." John whispered softly, wrapping the troll up in his arms and buried his head in his neck. "I never meant to hurt you. I... Fuck, Karkat that's the last thing I'd ever want to do."

After a deep breath, the troll finally spoke softly, "Let go of me."

"Karkat?"

"Release me!"

John immediately pulled back at the troll's shout and didn't have a chance to move when a hand smacked his cheek hard enough to break his jaw if he were anything but a hero. Karkat was on his feet instantly, his lips pulled back in a snarl, his crimson eyes narrowed and... red tears pooled in the corner of his eyes. John stared up at him in shock, his body freezing at the raw pain and hate in those eyes.

"Kar-"

"Leave." Karkat spoke evenly, his shoulders shaking with.. rage? Pain? Karkat wasn't even sure what emotion was winning anymore. "Fucking leave you insufferable shit and don't come back." He snapped before spinning on his heel and disappeared into his cabin, slamming the door shut behind him that he immediately collapsed against, his head in his hands as his body shook with pain.

John sat on his knees for a while, the gravity of Karkat's words slowly sinking in. Karkat had _never_ told John to leave. Not even when they first met. And he certainly had never told the male to not come back. This was bad. Oh god this was bad. But John knew Karkat. And he knew if he tried to talk to the troll now, they'd get no where. So, with a rock in his chest, John slowly got to his feet and lifted into the air.

The hero didn't recall a thing from the moment he left Karkat's till the moment his feet landed on the ground outside his home. His body felt heavy, his eyes felt scratchy and his heart felt... empty. He didn't know what to feel. He'd hurt the most important person in his life and even though it was an accident, he'd still nearly killed the troll. He panicked and let his magic take control which was the biggest mistake he could have made. His magic was still growing and he _knew_ that. What a huge mistake he had made... Oh god... What if... What if Karkat meant what he said? What if he really didn't want to ever see him again? No, no, John could not handle that!

"John?" Jade's voice was soft, careful, as she approached the hero who wandered through the front door. Dirk and Jake glanced to each other from their place on the couch, concern evident in their glances. John hovered in the doorway, his body swaying slightly and his blue eyes filled with tears. "John, what happened?"

"I..." His voice broke on a sob and that was all it took for him to lose it. His body collapsed against the wall, his hands going to his face as tears streamed down his cheeks. His body slumped and then he fell down the wall, sobs wreaking his body. Dirk and Jake were on their feet as soon as John fell to his bum and Jade went to her knees beside him.

"The fuck is going on?" Dave grumbled as he pushed back the curtain of the bedroom to peek around. Deep red eyes landed on John and he was at his side in an instant. "What happened?"

"We don't know. He just... He came home like this and then just broke." Jade whispered softly, her face contorted with worry. "Maybe Karkat... is really mad at him."

Dave tisked at the way John flinched at that name and moved to his side, wrapping long thin arms around the male's shoulders to pull him against his chest. John leaned into his touch, his hands going to grasp red fabric as he cried against the male's chest. Dave's lips pressed together tightly, his teeth grinding as he held his best bro, taking in the blood staining his shirt were claws had ripped through. Whatever the fuck that troll did, he was going to pay for it. Because no one made his best bro cry and got away with it. No one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What have I done? Why did I do this to my babies? I promise I didn't mean to. It just happened. Let's hope they can work this out. Because the worst is yet to come...
> 
> Welp, let me know what you thought! Comments are always great since you can only kudo a chapter fic once!
> 
> THERE IS NOW FANART FOR THIS CHAPTER. I'M SO HAPPY YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND. KARKAT'S FACE IS SO PERFECT. [CHECK IT OUT](http://the-orgasmic-seke.tumblr.com/post/94960720455/jean-huh-kirschnickerdoodle-so-uh-this-is)
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> ~Addy~


	8. Month 3 - August - Part 2: Life On The Moon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do apologize first off that this took so long. I was in a bit of a funk for a while and I just couldn't get this out. It's not as long as the previous chapters but I like to think the content makes up for it. I'm not sure I'll be able to update every week from now on but I'll update as often as possible, alright? Do not fear lovelies, this story will be finished. 
> 
> Warnings: None actually heh maybe some feelings?

_Let's start over. I'll try to do it right this time around. It's not over. Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground. This love is killing me but you're the only one. It's not over._

There were a handful of times were Karkat ever felt like the fucked up waste of space that he was. Now was one of those times. He could only recall two other times and both involved his former Moirail whom he refused to ever speak of again. But thinking of his former Moirail and what he had gone through with the crazy high-blood made Karkat re-evaluate his relationship with John.

The troll groaned softly, reading over the same sentence three times before he slammed the book in his hands shut and tossed it to the side of his bed. He brought his knees to his chest before he fell over on his side, crimson eyes staring at a wall though they didn't really focus. The dark bags under his eyes were worse than normal considering he had not slept since the first night John had not shown. Five days. Five days since he last slept and it was starting to ware on him.

Karkat had not meant the things he said to John. Of course he wanted the human to come back but he was pretty convinced he had ruined everything. John had _attacked_ him. Fully attacked him and almost took his life. He knew the human hadn't meant to but that didn't make it hurt any less. He could still see the look on John's face when he realized what he'd done. The troll whined softly in the back of his throat and closed his eyes tightly.

He had just been angry. Very angry and he let his anger get the better of him. His pride had been hurt more than anything and so he made John leave and told him to never return. He didn't mean it. He really didn't. The human meant more to him than he was ever willing to admit. He had just been angry and his pride had been hurt. Now he just regretted every word that came out of his mouth.

He couldn't fathom why John would ever come back. Hell, he never understood why the male always showed up at his door the next night as it was. He never understood and he never questioned it. Because it was nice. Karkat spent most of his life alone so to have someone spending time with him as much as John did... It was an adjustment, at first, but he never realized how much he enjoyed it until the dorky grinning male wasn't around anymore.

The troll would never admit how much he missed the hero. He was convinced he would never get the chance to fix it. Sure, he could go find John and apologize but really, Karkat felt the human was better off. Even if it killed him to admit it, John was better off without him. Because Karkat was unpredictable and he hurt John. He hurt the human and so he didn't deserve him.

John wasn't coming back and Karkat had to deal with that. No matter how long it would take... He was used to being alone after all...

* * *

Deep red eyes watched through reflective goggles as the raven haired hero stuffed another roll of clothing into a leather satchel. John ignored the red-clad hero leaning against the wall a few feet from him as he tugged that satchel over his shoulder and tied it around his chest so it could rest at his hip.

"Shut up, Dave."

"Didn't speak a word, bro."

John grumbled softly, rubbing at his blood-shot eyes. "You didn't have to." The blonde shrugged, just a sharp movement of fabric. Blue eyes narrowed at him before the male left his bedroom to see Jade in the kitchen waiting for him. He sighed softly, rolling his eyes at her crossed arms and soft glare. "Not you too."

"We're just worried, John. That's all."

"I told you. I messed up, okay? None of this is Karkat's fault! I'm going to fix this and neither of you can stop me." He glanced back at Dave who followed after him.

Green eyes blinked and a soft smile came to pretty lips. "Who said we were going to stop you?"

John raised an eyebrow at Jade. "What?"

"Well, Brightwall is really far!" She placed her hands on her hips, her smile growing. "And I figure, you don't want to keep poor Karkitty waiting anymore than you already have, so! Why don't I take you?"

"I..." For the first time in two days, John's face lit up. It was slight but the color returned to his cheeks, his blue eyes unclouded and his lips curled into a soft smile. "Really?"

"You bet!" Jade grinned, clapping her hands as she glanced at Dave. "Right, Dave?"

"Course." A glove covered hand clapped to John's shoulder as the blonde came up beside him. "I don't care for the troll but hey, if he makes you happy, whatever dude."

"You guys are the best."

The two heroes nodded at each other. "We're your family, John. And we hate seeing you like this. So, if this helps you, we'll do it."

John smiled softly, nodding at the other two. "I really appreciate it."

"Yeah yeah, enough of this sappy shit. Let's get going, yeah?" Dave's hand tightened on John's shoulder as Jade came up to them and grabbed a hand from each of them.

"If we hurry, We can make it back before nightfall." Jade said, wrapping her fingers around their wrists while the familiar green mist started to surround them. Dave kept his hand on John's shoulder, completing the circle between the heroes while that green mist formed into a ball, trapping them within. Jade's lips curled into a soft smirk before her eyes slipped shut. "Hold on to your hats, boys." She whispered softly before the world spun and the three were transported far away.

John stumbled slightly when he felt something solid beneath his feet again and he nearly fell to his knees as the green mist faded away. Jade giggled in excitement while Dave just kept an eye on his bro. The two heroes were used to such a way of travel, considering Jade liked to drag Dave all over the place but John was sure it was something he would never become used to. He really preferred his flying. At least then he had complete control of where he was going and it didn't leave his stomach feeling like it had been ripped out and shoved back down his throat.

"Oh! I haven't been here in so long!" Jade bounced slightly, her hands clasped together at her breasts as she glanced around excitedly. The three heroes landed right in the center of town, near the large fountain just inside the closed wooden gates. They didn't scare a single villager with their arrival but they did stir up some surprise.

"Why don't you explore?" John spoke softly once he finally gained his ground. He stood up straight, adjusting the black frames on his face as he gave her a grateful smile. "I'm going to head to the Academy."

"Great! Meet back here in a little while?" At John's nod to her question, Jade took off with a squeal, eager to see the new potions the alchemist had.

Dave watched her for a moment before those eyes focused on John. "The fuck's at the academy?"

"Well, books." John answered with a slight shrug as he turned to head down the long winding path that led up to the academy.

Dave followed beside him obediently. "No shit. What's the point, dude?"

"Well, Karkat loves to read. And though I severely fucked up, I'm hoping that... bringing him a present will um make him less angry?" John ventured, chewing on his lower lip at his flimsy plan. He couldn't help but think of the look on Karkat's face when he had first brought that sack of books for the troll. He wanted to see that look again and though he wasn't sure he ever would, he was at least willing to try. John had no intention of letting Karkat go. The troll would have to kill him before he ever let that happen.

"You're gonna bribe him with books?"

"Not exactly... More like a peace-offering?"

Dave shook his head, soft blonde hair shaking as his shoved his hands into the pockets of his red tunic. "Seems like a lot of fucking work."

"I was planning to fly here myself, you know." John reminded his fellow hero. "Jade really helped me out here." Both gave a nod to a villager than greeted them.

Dave grunted softly. "Still seems like a lot of work."

"Yeah, but, Karkat's worth it." The soft, warm smile that came to John's face made Dave perk an eyebrow. The blonde didn't fail to notice the way John's eyes softened and his cheeks flushed at the thought of the troll. Oh yes, the windy hero had it rather hard. Too bad he didn't even realize it.

"Is he now?" Dave asked softly, his voice questioning in a way that made John perk a brow.

"Yes?" He titled his head slightly at his fellow hero. "I mean, he is pretty awesome Dave. I think you'd like him. He's kinda fun to poke at and I know how much you love to do that. Plus, he's really smart and has cool stories. And he's fun to hunt with and awesome to spar with, though he's still learning how to do that properly without hurting me." He ran a hand over his forearm absentmindedly. "But he's just, he's great." He laughed softly, raising his blue eyes to the clear sky as the two of them traveled up the hill. "He's really caring and actually pretty sweet."

The blonde hummed softly, bright red eyes focused on the raven haired male at his side, though the other had no idea due to those frustratingly reflective goggles. "You saying I should meet him?"

John blinked at being knocked from his slight Karkat daze. "Ah, well, yeah. Eventually."

"Eventually."

He nodded slightly, glancing at the other from the corner of his eye. "Karkat's... I just, I don't want to spring you on him. Once I fix everything with him, I'll figure out when it's a good idea for you to meet him. He knows all about you anyway."

"Once you fix everything. Pretty confidant you're going to, huh?"

"Well, yeah. I am. I'm not giving up till I do." John said with a shrug, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. But really, his answer just made Dave's eyes narrow and his protective best bro side to spike. He didn't say a word however as John perked up when they neared the academy. The blue clad hero picked up his pace and jogged around the fountain to the front doors of the large castle-like building. "Karkat's too important to give up on." He flashed Dave a smile before he tugged open one of the heavy wooden doors and stepped inside.

The air of the academy was rather cool compared to the dry warm air outside. The place smelled of books and made Dave's nose crinkle. John didn't waste time in moving through the academy, nodding at Alexander who was quite surprised to see the hero. He didn't bother to stop and greet the male, just flashed him a smile before he moved toward the large open hallway in the back of the main room. Dave followed behind him obediently, his eyes narrowed in confusion. The blonde didn't speak a word until they came upon the large closed metal doors that lead to the Reliquary.

"Dude?"

John just smiled at him as he stepped up to the doors and placed his palm against the cold metal, right in the circle that was surrounded by hundreds of little metal pieces. The blue spark of his magic flared to life and spread over the door, the sound of tiny clicks echoing over the room as the door unlocked. He removed his hand once the magic faded and with a simple push, the door swung open.

"Dude."

John chuckled softly, glancing at the other hero whose lips were turned up ever so slightly in a soft smirk. "Yeah. There's some people I need to see. They can help me."

"People. There's people down there?" The blonde asked, peering down the large set of stairs that led into darkness.

"Um, kinda?" John shrugged a shoulder as he moved into the doorway before motioning for Dave to follow. "Come on." The red clad hero crinkled his nose before following John down into the dark stairwell.

It wasn't long before they reached the large open library at the bottom of the stairs. Dave thought John would head to one of the crumbling bookshelves but the hero just continued forward until they reached the large vast opening of the Reliquary. Dave was slightly impressed with the place but didn't comment on it as he followed John down the stairs.

The familiar sound of wisps caught Dave's attention but John's hand was on his wrist before the male could even pull the sword from its sheath. "They're friendly." He whispered softly, giving the blonde a hopeful smile before he continued down the stairs. Dave grit his teeth slightly, his hands curling into fists as his sides but he followed the other without grabbing his sword though the sound of the wisps made his skin crawl.

Once they reached the bottom of the stairs, they turned to the right, toward the large open doorway that lead down a long hallway until they reached another open library that was familiar to the raven haired male. John smiled softly, his feet kicking off the ground as he flew into the air, his excitement evident. Dave, however, was on edge. He could _feel_ them. Hollow Men. Somewhere; scurrying about and it made his blood pulse.

"Adairis!" John suddenly called, making the blonde glare up at him, his voice echoing off the walls. The echo faded after a moment and the two of them stayed where they were for another few minutes; Dave unsure of what they were waiting for.

"Hero!" The slightly sharp voice behind Dave caught the blonde off guard and he suddenly spun around, his hand on the hilt of his sword as he backed away from the strange blue haired male in the doorway in which they had passed through not long before.

"Adairis! Hello!" John swooped down to the ground, landing in front of the banshee with a smile on his face.

"Didn't expect to see you so soon!" The male didn't waste time in launching at the hero, thin white arms around his neck to hug him tightly.

"Ah, Yeah, Sorry!" John laughed softly, wrapping an arm around the others waist to return his hug. "I didn't mean to um, bother."

"No bother!" Adairis pulled back, a smile on his lips as he glanced up at the male, patting his shoulders in reassurance. "It's nice to see you again. How did your troll like those books?"

"He loved them!" John lit up at the thought of Karkat though Adairis' pale blue eyes darkened slightly. "You should have seen his face! I don't think he's ever been that happy before."

"That's good." The banshee titled his head slightly, eyeing the other male. "John, Did-"

"Yo, Egbert." The purple-tan arm that landed around Adairis' shoulders made the banshee flush ever so slightly. Asher gave John a two-fingered salute that made the male smile softly.

"Hi, Asher."

"You ass." Adairis pushed at the broad body pressed to his side. "I was in the middle of talking."

"'Cuse me for greeting the hero." Bright green eyes rolled before they landed on the blonde standing just a step or two behind John's side. "It's rude to ignore people, Adi."

Equally blue eyes blinked before both pairs landed on the red-clad, goggles wearing hero. "Oh! Sorry!" John exclaimed, taking a few steps back to slip his arm around Dave's back, pulling the hero forward. "Dave, this is Adairis and Asher. They um are staying here for a while. Guys, this is Dave. One of the other heroes and my best bro!"

Adairis was quiet as he eyed the blonde while a faint smirk came to Asher's face while he pulled away from his lover. "Another one, eh?" Thin lips curled over fangs as those strange glowing eyes gave Dave a good once over. "He's cute."

Blue eyes went wide and the elbow that was shoved into his ribs made Asher flinch. "You cheating bastard." Adairis hissed, his eyes glowing slightly before they focused on the blonde who was still at a loss for words. He always felt it best to assess the situation before acting and though John was seemingly "friends" with these... creatures, Dave was unsure how he felt about them.

"Don't worry, babe, you're more my type."

John nearly choked on his spit and the way Asher's eyes flared to life made the blonde's smirk grow just a bit. Before the Hollow Man could react to Dave's words, Adairis blocked them from each other, his lips curling up in a smirk of his own that was much too big with way too many sharp teeth. Those teeth sparked something in Dave and he went still for just a second.

"You're a Strider. I thought I recognized that hair, those goggles and that godawefully sexy smirk."

"You guys know each other?" John asked surprised, glancing between the two while Asher's eyes darkened and his muscles tensed.

"Ah, not exactly." Adairis turned that smile on John and even though the male was used to it, it still creeped him out a bit. "I know the other one. What was his name...?"

"Dirk." Dave snapped softly.

"Dirk!" Adairis snapped his fingers, that smirk turning back to Dave. "That's right. Dirk. Handsome fellow. Strong, powerful. Quiet though." Blue eyes blinked. "Wait. Is Dirk a hero?"

"Yeah." John answered. "You didn't know that?"

"Not at all. Only ran into him once by chance." Adairis explained, a finger going to his chin in thought. "It was quite a while ago." Then it appeared as though something dawned on Adairis' face. " _Oh._ Oh fuck."

"Yeah, Oh fuck." Dave was quick to remove his sword, his fingers tight around the handle and the tip pointed in Adairis' direction.

A growl echoed over the walls but Adairis placed a soft hand against Asher's chest, trying to calm the male. "Shh, shh. This is between he and I."

"I don't... What is going on?" John asked, his eyes wide as he glanced between his two friends.

"Ah, well, Long story short John dear, I may or may not have possibly tried to eat your best bros soul when he was oh say, still a baby?"

"I was seven." Dave said through clenched teeth, his muscles tense though his stance still held a relaxed nature to it.

"Still a baby." Adairis shrugged, the smirk long gone from his face as he held his hands up in defense against the point of Dave's sword. "Also a shitty thing of me to attempt to do. I was a different person back then. Which reminds me," those glowing blue eyes shifted to John, "apologize to Dirk for me? Pretty sure I fucked him up rather nice back then."

"You ripped out his eye."

"Yes, okay, I know." Adairis sighed softly, his brow crinkling at a glare settled on Dave. "And I apologize for that. I was a different creature back then, being controlled by hunger. Can you blame me? Okay no, don't answer that question." He sighed softly, dropping his hands to his sides. "Look, just put the sword away before you hurt someone. I have no intention of fighting you."

John swallowed hard and placed a gentle hand on his fellow hero's shoulder, urging the other to do as he was told. "Come on, Dave. We can um, talk about this. Adairis is a nice guy, okay?" Bright red eyes glanced into worried blue before that sword was back where it belonged and Dave stood up straight, his muscles still tense but his aura more relaxed. John smiled softly, patting the other's shoulder before he turned to Adairis. "Okay, so, there's some shit between you guys but we can get past it, yeah?"

Adairis shrugged. "The shit is really on his side. I'm the one who was wrong and I'll admit to that."

John nodded. "Okay, so, can you deal with that Dave?"

"Whatever."

"So this is the kid you couldn't suck." Asher suddenly spoke, his body dropping over Adairis' from behind, long arms dangling from either of his shoulders while a chin rested a top his blue hair. Glowing green eyes gave Dave another good once over before the corner of his lips turned upward. "You got a scar, kid?"

"Don't fucking provoke him." Adairis hissed, his elbow going into a rib that made Asher hiss slightly.

"Is that what that crazy scar on your back is?" John asked, his voice a soft gasp.

"Can we fucking not." Dave replied, his voice clipped slightly.

"Ah, right, Sorry."

"Great, now that _that_ is out of the way." Adairis shoved the Hollow Man off him before he turned to John, reaching up to grasp those paler than normal cheeks between his hands. "You look tired. Different than last I saw you. You haven't been sleeping. You're eyes are blood-shot. Your smile doesn't reach your eyes. What happened?"

Dark eyebrows perked as blue searched blue. "Ah, Um... Something, did happen..."

"And?"

"I need your help. I need to find a few good books as um... a peace-offering."

Adairis stood up straight, his face taking on a serious expression as he released John's face. "I know the perfect place to look." The male kicked off the ground to float into the air a few feet from the ground. "Come on." John was quickly in the air and didn't waste time in following Adairis down the dark hole in the center of the room.

Dave blinked a few times before he moved to the edge of the railing, glancing down into the dark hole. He didn't flinch when Asher came to his side, arms crossed over his chest and green eyes watching him suspiciously.

"They'll be a while." Asher mumbled softly, leaning back against the railing to face the blonde. "Adairis has an obsession with those troll books."

"John has an obsession with that troll."

"Jealous?"

Dave didn't bother to give that ridiculous question an answer as he moved to lean against the railing beside Asher. He was sure they really would be waiting a while.

* * *

"And remember the chocolate." Adairis said with a soft smile, patting John's shoulder.

"Yeah, I know. Are you sure this will work?"

"Well, I don't know trolls but I know a romantic heart. And if Karkat is the true romantic I think he is, this should help you at least a little."

John bit his lower lip, this cheeks flushing slightly as he nodded. "I hope it does."

"It should. Now go, shoo! You have a troll's heart to recapture!"

"Fuck Adi, you make it sound like he's trying to fuck him." Asher rolled his eyes, slipping am arm around the banshee's shoulders.

"Horrible mental image, bro." Dave shook his head, his shoulders visibly shaking at the thought. No one thought to point out how red John's face turned, nor how obvious it was that the mental image didn't bother him in the way it had bothered Dave. "Fuck, dude, let's get the hell out of here."

"Ah, yeah." John swallowed hard, forcing down the strange swell of heat in his stomach to give Adairis and Asher both a smile. "I'll see you guys again soon."

"Stop by anytime! Be safe you two."

"Bye!" John gave the two a wave that was returned by Adairis and a nod from Asher before he and Dave left up the stairs they had entered the Reliquary from. Their footsteps echoed off the dark walls and it wasn't long before they felt the cool dusty air of the academy once again. John locked the Reliquary door behind them before adjusting the strap of his now full satchel. "Right so, Chocolate. I wonder if there's some in the market."

"John, Can I ask you something?"

"Hm?" The male paused, turning back to the red clad hero who was standing in front of the Reliquary door. "What is it?"

"I get that you're enamored with the fucking troll, but he _hurt_ you." Dave pointed out, his hands shoving into his pockets as he glanced away from the other. "Why are you going through so much trouble for him?"

John's breath caught in his throat and his chest squeezed tightly. "I... Because..." He gathered his thoughts for a moment, letting his heart rate even and his breath to calm. "Because it _hurts_ more to not have him in my life. I... I don't expect you to understand, Dave. Hell, I hardly understand it myself. But there's just... something about Karkat, okay? And I really did fuck up... Yeah, he gets angry over stupid little things but this was my fault. He had a right to be angry and I made it worse. I just want him to forgive me. If he'll forgive me..."

Something about the way John's shoulder's slumped and his bangs covered his eyes made Dave immediately regret asking what was really bothering him. He couldn't ask john why he loved the troll when the dork didn't even know he did in the first place. The blonde sighed softly and reached over, ruffling soft black hair.

"Chill, John. How could he not forgive you?" He shrugged, removing his hand as he averted his eyes to the sky. "Be more of a bastard than he already is if he didn't."

Blue eyes glanced up, a sniff coming from his nose. "Karkat's not a bastard."

"Made my best bro cry. Dude is a bastard in my book till proven otherwise." Dave shrugged before slipping an arm around John's shoulders and steered the hero toward the path that led back to the center of town. "So prove me wrong."

Something in John's eyes lit to life and he didn't waste time in telling Dave just how great Karkat really was.

* * *

A strange feeling settled in John's stomach and chest as he took off over the trees. The sun was close to setting but he couldn't wait any longer. He returned from Brightwall with Jade and Dave only to find they were leaving as soon as they came back. He said his goodbyes to his friends, took their "good lucks" with a heavy smile and hoped they were right about Karkat forgiving him. John had wandered around his home for another ten minutes before he grabbed his things and took off for Alternia.

The weight of the books at his side felt heavy but his chest felt worse. His stomach was knotted and twisted about to the point of no control. What if Karkat denied him? What if he turned him away and told him to leave again? John wasn't sure how he would handle that. He didn't have plans on giving up but he didn't take into consideration what would happen if Karkat just continuously denied him. It wasn't a good feeling at all...

Anticipation swelled in his chest, his blood pumping and his throat dry as he landed on the soft land outside of Karkat's home. Though it had only been a few days, something was off about the area around him. The flowers were... dying. A pang shot through John's chest as he glanced around the gardens outside Karkat's home. The flowers were wilting as if they had not been watered properly in a few days. It rained the day before so John was sure that had to be the only reason they were still alive.

John came to a halt, his body tensing and his breath catching in his throat.

Was... Karkat _gone_?

No. No. Karkat wouldn't just leave like that. Right? Those flowers were much too important for him to just leave. John refused to believe that he had hurt the troll _that_ much. His feet moved on their own, approaching the door of the cabin with a rock in his throat. John tried to swallow past the burning pain but to no avail. He took a deep breath before pulling the satchel from around his torso. He bent down, digging through the bag to pull out three beautifully leather-bound books and a small coin bag. He dropped the satchel to the ground, placed the bag a top the books that he held stacked together in one hand as he stood up straight. He considered knocking on the door before glancing up at the lowering sun. Well, Karkat wouldn't mind... right?

With a deep breath, a heavy but hopeful heart and a twisting stomach, John tapped his knuckles against the wooden door three times.

Not even three seconds later the door clicked and swung open to hit the wall with a force that rocked the house and shook a few books off the shelves within. John froze, wide crimson eyes locked on him. It was all he could see. Crimson. Claws dug into the door frame as if the troll was using it to hold himself up, which he certainly was. His body shook, his lips pulled open into a silent gasp. With the way the troll was shaking, John couldn't gauge if the other was angry or otherwise.

The hero swallowed hard, clearing his throat after a moment before he dropped down to one knee in front of the other and held up his peace-offering. "I-I know I don't deserve it, Karkat, but please! Forgive me. I am so so so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. Hurting you is the last thing I'd ever want to do to you! I know I messed up and I am really sorry! But I can't..." He raised his head just enough to meet the wide crimson eyes staring down at him. "I can't just walk away, okay? I can't just accept that you never want to see me again. So I'll do whatever it takes, okay? I'm not giving up. Good things... Are really hard to find in life and you... You're that good thing for me and I think.. I am for you too." He swallowed hard, his blue eyes wide and glistening with unshed tears as he stared up at the other, lowering his peace-offering just slightly. "Can we... Make this something good? Can we... try to do this right? I really am so sorry, Karkat... And I can only hope you have it in you to forgive me. My life with you means everything. So I won't give up that easily."

The two stared at each other for a good few minutes, John panting softly from his apology and Karkat appeared to not even be breathing. In fact, he wasn't. His lungs squeezed in pain before he took in a gulp of air and finally _moved_. In one swift movement, Karkat fell to his knees, knocked the books from John's hands and launched at him, his arms going around the hero's neck tightly.

For a few seconds, John was stunned, having been prepared to be attacked only to find the troll wrapped around him in a suffocatingly tight hug. His hands hovered in the air before he finally wrapped his arms around that toned waist tightly, burying his face in a grey neck. His heart swelled, his body rushing with a cool sense of relief that left him breathless.

Neither were sure how long they stayed like that, arms wrapped around each other, feeling the other's breath and heart beat. At one point, John was certain he felt wetness against his cheek but he didn't bother to point it out. He only held the troll tighter, hoping to comfort him in some way. He wasn't sure why Karkat would cry but he only cared that he did. John considered that the troll thought he would actually never come back and that left a horrible taste in his mouth.

When John finally opened his mouth to speak, he paused, feeling Karkat's arms loosen around his neck before the troll slowly pulled back, his hands slipping over toned shoulders before dropping down into his lap as he sat back on his knees. John's hands rested on the troll's sides for a moment longer before he let his hands rest in his lap as well. Those crimson eyes were focused on the ground, hidden by dirty shaggy bangs but that didn't stop John from trying to see them.

"You came back." Karkat mumbled softly, his voice worn and cracked and his shoulders started to shake again.

"Y-Yeah, Of course I did."

The trolls chest heaved with a deep breath before those crimson eyes finally rose and met worried blue. "I'm sorry."

"What-No-Karkat, I mess-" A clawed hand clamped down over his lips.

"No, Shut up." The troll hissed slightly, his eyes narrowed only a bit. He couldn't actually feel any anger with the overwhelming senses of relief and disbelief rocking his body. "I fucked up too, okay? I completely overreacted. I was out of line. Kismesis or not. Fucking hell. Fuck quadrants. I was out of line and I am sorry." He removed his hand once he was done, letting it drop back into his lap.

John nodded, accepting his apology with a soft smile that finally reached his eyes. "So... We're okay then?"

"Yeah. We're okay."

The hero's shoulders visibly relaxed and he reached out to hug the troll once more. Karkat accepted the hug, wrapping his arms around John's back as the other hugged his shoulder's tightly. "Fuck I missed you."

The troll nodded in agreement, rubbing his hands over that toned back. "Yeah, missed you too. One more thing." Karkat pushed his chest gently till he was able to look up into blue eyes. "I've decided you can't be my kismesis. That's been proven. So... I think we should... try being friends. Like you've wanted."

John should have been thrilled. Friends! It was what he had been working at since he met the troll but for some reason, it didn't make him as happy as he thought it would. He still put a smile on his face, blaming it on his emotional exhaustion before he wrapped the troll up in another hug. "I'd really like that, Karkat."

"Good. Cause you have no choice. You're stuck with me." _Because I'm never letting you go again._

"I'm more than okay with that." The hero laughed, pulling back to place a kiss on that slightly flushed grey cheek. "So, my peace-offering worked?"

A dark eyebrow perked. "What peace-offering?"

"These." John released the troll to lean over and gather the books that had been knocked from his hands. "I figured if you were really pissed at me these would maybe help a bit?"

Karkat took the books from the male, looked over each cover before glancing back up at him. "You went to Brightwall?"

He nodded, a smile coming to his face at the way those crimson eyes sparked to life. He noticed the heavy bags under Karkat's eyes and how much of a mess he was but he chose not to point it out. "Jade took me. She wanted to help. Adairis picked them out. He said you'd really like them."

The troll plucked one open, scanning over the first few words before his cheeks flushed red. Human and troll romance. Adairis really knew what to pick out. Karkat swallowed hard and snapped the book shut. "They seem interesting."

"I didn't need them, did I?" When Karkat shook his head, John had the overwhelming urge to just _kiss_ the troll. But friends didn't kiss. John was now Karkat's friend and that broke off a lot of the things that were normal between them. Or did it?

"You came back. All that matters." The troll said with a shrug before he leaned forward, pressing his lips to John's for a few seconds and fully managed to take the hero's breath away. "Get your shitspewing ass inside." He mumbled as he got to his feet, holding his hand out for the other.

John licked his lips, savoring the taste of the other before he took his hand and allowed the other to help him to his feet. He noticed the coin bag on the ground and quickly snatched it up to place atop the stack of books in Karkat's hands. Crimson eyes stared at it before meeting blue.

"It's chocolate."

"What?"

"Chocolate! I was told it was something you give people when you are really sorry."

With a raised brow, Karkat tugged at the little red ribbon holding the bag closed with the tips of his claws. It fell open so the troll could peer inside at the small squares of brown. "Was does it do?"

"You eat it." John said, moving close so he could peer inside as well. "It's sweet."

"Hm." Karkat dipped his free hand into the bag and caught one of the strange squares with the tips of his claws to bring it close to his face. He sniffed it, that cute button nose crinkling at the strange smell. Those blue eyes peered at him with hope so Karkat threw caution to the wind and popped the strange thing into his mouth.

And he was suddenly in heaven. His heart pounded, his stomach swirled as the strange stuff melted on his tongue, coating it in a sweet taste that left him a little breathless. John couldn't help but smile at the pure look of enjoyment on Karkat's face and he made a mental note to thank Adairis for his suggestion later on. Karkat savored the coin sized piece of chocolate, letting it melt on his tongue before he swallowed it all, licking his fangs and lips at the lingering taste. He didn't notice the way blue eyes followed his tongue.

"Is this something that's easy to get?"

John blinked at that soft voice, focusing on crimson. "It's not _hard_ to get. Especially in Bowerstone."

"Hm." Karkat grabbed another piece before stuffing it in his mouth. "You should bring me more of this gloriously fuckdefying amazingness."

John chuckled softly, watching as Karkat licked his lips, leaving a bit of chocolate in the corner of his mouth. "I will. I'm glad you like it."

Karkat plucked another piece between his claws before holding it out to John. Not one to deny a polite gesture John leaned down and took the piece from Karkat's claws with his lips. He chewed on the sweet chocolate happily, smiling as Karkat watched him. "Good?"

"Mhm. I'm not one for sweets but a piece of chocolate is nice every now and then."

"Never had anything like it." The troll mumbled, plucking up another piece that he popped into his mouth. "Sweet. Creamy. It's... nice."

John chewed on his lower lip, blue eyes focused on that tongue that lapped at full lips and he didn't even realize he was leaning closer until crimson eyes where all he could see. Karkat didn't stop him, hell he even leaned in just a bit to meet those lips that pressed hard against his own. It wasn't something friends did but damn if either of them cared. It felt too good to care.

Karkat tasted like chocolate when those lips parted and let John's seeking tongue inside. It was warm, breath-taking and all John could think was _Karkat_. Fuck, he missed the troll. He missed him so much. He was happy they were okay. That they were friends. That he could still kiss him. That Karkat could still kiss him back. Damn he tasted good.

The troll took a step back that John followed, more than eager to keep their lips together, their tongues brushing against one another's. The hero didn't notice when Karkat placed the books on a table nor did notice that they had even entered the troll's home. He did notice when those arms wrapped around his neck and that body pressed flush against his. He also noticed when Karkat stopped moving due to the fact that there was now a wall to his back and John's hands on his hips were keeping him there.

"Ah." John gasped softly, pulling his lips from Karkat's, his hands gripping those hips tightly. "You taste like chocolate." He mumbled against those red lips, taking in that soft red flush over rounded cheeks and a cute nose.

Karkat snorted softly, letting his claws trail over the short hairs at the back of John's neck before his hands slipped down his shoulders and pushed slightly. "You taste like dork. Come on, get off. I'm tired."

John blinked, not bothering to move at all. "The sun hasn't even set yet."

"Don't give a fuck. Haven't slept since you disappeared."

John's chest swelled with warmth tainted by a bit of guilt. "Oh. Sorry." He released the other and moved out of his personal bubble, chewing on his lower lip.

Karkat rolled his eyes as he snatched up John's wrist and tugged the male onto the pile of blankets and pillows covering his bed. The hero made a sound of surprise as he was pulled against the troll that quickly curled up against his chest. "Just shut up and let me sleep, fuckass."

John chuckled softly, wrapping his arms around the troll tightly, nuzzling into dirty but soft hair. "Okay, Okay. Sleep well, Karkat." The troll just grunted, nuzzled a little closer and settled down without complaint. Having John pressed against him washed away all his previous fears and it was no surprise he was fast asleep.

John didn't mind holding the troll as he slept. in fact, he was happy to. Because he was happy in general. They were _okay._ Hell, if that kiss meant anything, they were more than okay. Friends, John could handle. Karkat and John had never been normal to begin with so he didn't expect Karkat to be a normal friend. With his heart warm and his pain dissipated, it was no surprise that John followed Karkat into dreamland.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I broke okay. I am weak. Admittedly, it could have been worse. I wanted to have John shove Karkat against a wall, press hard against him and shove a piece of chocolate in his mouth with his tongue. You get the sweet kinda fluffy toned down version of that for now. Because I weak. And can't have my babies not kissing. I am weak... Plus I missed them after not writing for over a week so.... yeah hehe
> 
> Please let me know what you thought! Remember, comments are always lovely since you can only kudo a chapter fic once!
> 
> Thanks for reading and being patient. You guys are lovely!
> 
> ~Addy~


	9. Month 4 - September - Adventuring with Egbert and Vantas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this took a while and I apologize for that. With Otakon and stuff, I was pretty out of it for a while. But here it is! Finally! Took long enough, yeah? I'm not entirely happy with it but at the moment, I don't care enough to worry about it. Point is, I finished a chapter.
> 
> Warnings: Blood, gore, fighting and stuffs. 
> 
> ALSO. I GOT SOME FANART BY MY LOVELY AND WONDERFUL RAFFY. [So check it out.](http://the-orgasmic-seke.tumblr.com/post/94773350320/im-not-spazzing-out-what-are-you-talking-about)
> 
> And just so you know, Here are some pictures of Balverines.
> 
> [Regular Balverine](http://img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090310152831/fable/images/1/1a/Balverine_westcliff.jpg)
> 
> [White Balverine](https://c1.staticflickr.com/7/6175/6263231563_15f47b515c_z.jpg)

The sudden burst of purple flames nearly caused John to choke on the piece of meat he had just started to swallow. He coughed, thumping a fist against his chest as he forced down the chunk of meat while his eyes were locked on the purple flames coming from the small fireplace in the corner of the room. He quickly got to his feet, the chair clambering to the floor as he came around the kitchen table.

"John?" The flames spoke, twisting and turning until a figure could finally be seen. The glowing purple figure stepped out from the fireplace, all flowing fabric yet still transparent.

"Rose!" John gasped, swallowing hard as he came before her, his blue eyes wide at her dark skin and white hair. Her clothing was the same as normal but her skin and hair were so vastly different. "I thought you stopped using the grimdark pathways."

A soft smile rest on those pretty lips as she folded her hands in front of her. "I only use them for emergencies, John. I consider this to be one. I do apologize for startling you."

"Ah." The raven haired hero smiled, shrugging slightly. "Don't worry about it. What's the emergency?"

Rose's strangely black skin shifted, her face contorting into worry as her lips thinned out. "Balverines."

John's back stiffened, his heart rate slowing as a cold chill came over his skin. _Balverines_. That was never good. As much as John disliked Hollow Men, Balverines topped his list for his least favorite monster. They were ruthless and merciless. Along with the fact that they were nearly impossible to kill. It took a lot of skill and a brave heart to take down a Balverine. They were quick, powerful, large and smart. An enemy John hated to face. Because where they showed up, death and devastation followed.

"Where?"

"Mistpeak valley."

John's eyes widened and his mouth dropped slightly. "Why are you coming to me then? Mistpeak is a few days flight from here!"

"You're the closest." Rose's brow furrowed and her lips pursed together. "Jade and Dave are in Aurora, Dirk and Jake are in Bloodstone and Roxy and Jane just left for Ravenskeep. You're our only option."

The hero took a sharp breath as he ran his hand through his raven hair, leaving it in a mess. "Shit, Rose. How bad is it?"

"I am only aware of one but there is sure to be more when you arrive. I suggest you hurry."

Rose's tone left no room for argument. John knew if he didn't hurry, people would die. Hell, he was sure people would die either way considering how long it would take for him to get there. Rose's magic couldn't reach Jade in Aurora so there really was no other choice. He was gathering his hammer and pistol from where he'd left them by the table without a second thought.

"Be safe John." Rose's voice echoed through the room before those purple flames faded and the fire was brought back to normal.

John quickly strapped the pistol to his side and tossed his hammer over his shoulder, clipping the straps shut. He didn't bother with a bag. He didn't have time. He quickly put out the fire with a gust of wind before dousing it in water then he was out the door. The sun was still in the sky but it would set soon. The hero kicked off the ground and flew faster than he had in a while, souring over tree tops in order to reach Karkat. Even though he was in a hurry, John had no intention of making the same mistake twice. He was going to make sure Karkat knew where he was going and how long he would be gone before he left. He just hoped the troll didn't mind the disturbance in his sleep.

The hero didn't take the time to admire the growing flowers when his feet landed on the ground. He went right for Karkat's closed-door and knocked on it three times. When there was no response, he knocked a few more times, his eyes narrowing at the silence. He bounced on his heel once, then again when Karkat didn't come. A pit of anxiousness grew in his stomach and crawled up his spine to settle at the back of his neck.

"Damnit Karkat." He knocked again. "I'm coming in!" He twisted the knob to find the door unlocked, which sparked some alarm as he opened it to an empty cabin. The troll wasn't home. "Shit. Shit shit shit." John chewed on his lower lip before he pressed off the floor and quickly flew out the door, the wind causing it to shut behind him. He had a few options and he could only hope he would find Karkat at the first place he thought of. The lake.

As the hero came over the trees, he was able to spot the grey skinned male effortlessly. Karkat was at the edge of the lake, naked as could be with a fluffy towel ruffling his hair. John let out a soft sigh of relief, the strange fear that had curled in his stomach gone as he came to land near the troll.

"Karkat!"

"Jegus fucking christ!" The troll almost jumped in the air, his breath catching in his throat as he quickly covered his naked form with the towel in his hands. "The fuck Egbert?!"

"Sorry! Sorry!" John shook his head, holding his hands up in defense as he approached the troll with a flush on his cheeks.

A snarl came from Karkat's lips as he quickly wrapped the towel around his waist, crimson eyes looking the hero up and down in confusion. "Why are you here?"

"I have a mission! So I came to see you before I left." He stepped up beside the troll, his chest heaving slightly with breath as he smiled at him.

Karkat perked a brow. "And it couldn't fucking wait?"

"No! Um, Balverines." John explained quickly. "In Mistpeak. So I need to leave. Like now." He quickly wrapped his arms around the startled troll, ignoring the feel of warm skin touching almost everywhere and setting his senses on fire. "I'll be gone a week or so. I'll hurry back but I might stop in Brightwall and pick you up some more books."

Karkat's breath was caught in his throat at the sudden hug, his head spinning until the word Brightwall fell from those lips. He pushed at John's chest so he could meet those beautiful blue eyes. "I thought you were going to Mistpeak."

"I am. That's where the Balverine is. But Brightwall is just beside that." John tilted his head slightly, his hands gripping those bare shoulders for just a moment before his face flushed and he quickly released the troll. "I really need to go, Karkat. It's going to take a few days to get there even at my fastest flying speed and the longer I wait, the higher chance of people dying."

"You hate Balverines." Karkat pointed out.

"Yes, I do. But I'm the only one who is available to do this." He quickly pushed forward, planting a soft but sloppy kiss against a slightly flushed grey cheek before he lifted in the air. "I'll be back. Be-" He cut off when a clawed hand suddenly reached up and snatched his ankle. "Karkat?"

"Just wait a grubfucking second." Crimson eyes gave a glare that the hero felt forced to obey. "I'm going with you." Karkat stated as he released that ankle and then gathered his things rather quickly.

"What."

Karkat let out a soft growl. "I'm going with you. Just give me a minute." Then he took off through the woods. John barely had a second to comprehend what was going on before he was after the troll. He twirled around trees, avoiding branches as he followed the black shadow back toward Karkat's cabin. He kept pace easily enough and they both came to stop outside the cabin. Karkat motioned for him to wait outside before he disappeared inside, slamming the door shut behind him.

John blinked a few times, lowering in the air till his feet touched ground. He took a moment to gather himself, his chest heaving as he took deep breaths, his heart pounding. He didn't understand what was going on. He had to leave but he was waiting for Karkat. Why was he waiting for Karkat? Cause the troll was coming with him. Why was the troll going with him? Before John could answer his own question, the cabin door opened again and Karkat stepped out, fully dressed with a strange black cloak wrapped around him and pulled over his head, hiding those horns rather perfectly.

"I... Why are you coming with me?"

"Because it's Brightwall. I want to see it for myself."

"Karkat this is a mission! You can't just tag along because you feel like it! I have to hurry." John gasped out, his eyes narrowed in confusion. "I have to _fly_. It's going to take at least two days of flying non-stop to get there!"

"I am fully capable of keeping up."

John whined softly, shifting his weight from foot to foot. "Yeah but I'll be worrying about you and I just..." He let out a sigh, running fingers through his already messy hair. "If you're coming with me, you're flying."

"Like hellshit manfucks am I flying. Have you lost your globlicking thinkpan?" Karkat physically wheeled back at the suggestion, his nose crinkling and his lips curling over sharp teeth.

"Karkat, I don't have  _time_ to argue with you about this. If you're coming with me, You are flying." John pushed off into the air and held his hand out for Karkat to take. "Come on."

Karkat eyed that hand like it was going to hurt him somehow. "No."

"Karkat!" John snapped softly. "Take my hand or I'm leaving without you!"

The troll hissed softly, worry creeping up his spine as he reached to take that hand. John's hand was cool to the touch and quickly wrapped around his. Immediately Karkat felt the strange cool wind surround him and pressed against his body in a strange way. It left him feeling violated, like hands were roaming all over his body before they tugged him upwards.

John's fingers tightened around his as they lifted into the air. He gave Karkat a moment to adjust to the strange weightless feeling before he suddenly pulled the troll against his chest, wrapping arms around his waist with a smile on his face. "Hey, Look at that. You actually trust me."

"Shut up." Karkat mumbled, daring to look down and found his stomach was still on the ground. His body shook, his claws clung to those shoulders and he pressed close to the other. "Just don't drop me you insufferable idiot."

"I wouldn't dream of it." A sense of warmth filled John's chest as he let his arms linger around Karkat's waist. It only took him a few seconds to realize the troll had no intention of letting him go. "Ah, Karkat?" He pressed his cheek against the troll's pointed ear with a slight grin on his face. "As much as I love you being clingy and stuff, I can't really fly properly like this."

"Then how?"

"Um." John thought about it for a moment before he pulled Karkat from him. He grabbed those hands, relying on the wind to keep the troll in the air as he spun around and pulled Karkat's front to his back. "Think you can hold on yourself? The wind will do the rest."

Arms wrapped around his neck loosely as Karkat settled against John's back, avoiding the handle of the hammer. "The wind, huh?"

"Mhm. Trust it."

Karkat snorted softly, rolling crimson eyes as he lifted his legs to press his thighs to either side of John's hips, one leg hooked over the hammer. "I trust _you_. _It_ still has to earn my trust."

"Fair enough." John shifted, tilting forward in his normal flying position. "Ready?"

"Fly you idiot."

The hero laughed softly and took off, not needing anymore of a conformation.

* * *

"Hey Karkat?" John's voice was soft as he spoke, his hands rubbing over the knees still gripping either side of his waist though they were loosening as time went on. The troll just gave a grunt in response, his arms tightening just a bit around John's neck. "Karkat, don't fall asleep on me." He murmured, turning his head just enough to see the troll's eyes closed, his cheek pressed against his arm. "I told you it was a long flight."

Karkat groaned softly, his brow furrowing as he peeked a crimson eye open. "Just shut your mouthflap."

The hero couldn't help the soft smile that came to his lips. "You look exhausted."

"I'm fine." He grumbled softly as he closed that eye.

John rolled his eyes at the stubborn troll and allowed them to sit in a few more moments of silence before he spoke up again. "I think if we adjust, you could sleep without having to worry about falling off me." Karkat grunted in response. "Okay?" Another grunt. John chuckled softly and shifted to angle his body forward. "Alright, I'm going to move, hold on to me, okay?" Another grunt that broadened his smile.

The hero was careful as he shifted in the air, allowing the wind to cradle them without the fear of falling. He spread his body out, laying flat with his stomach to the ground. Karkat flinched at the sudden shift, his eyes snapping open as he lay flat against the hero's back. John spread his arms out on either side of him, shaking them out for a moment before they moved to grasp Karkat's arms around his neck. He carefully loosened the troll's hold on him, grabbing clawed hands to spread out.

"There. You should be okay now."

Crimson eyes glanced around the clouds before he gave a slight shrug and shifted on the human beneath him. He let his legs relax against John's hips before bringing them up to lay against the human's. His ankles linked together as he brought his arms to fold against the back of John's neck. Then, he tucked his head against his folded arms to find the position to be rather comfortable. As long as he didn't move in his sleep, he would be perfectly fine.

"Don't drop me." Karkat mumbled softly, the sleepiness evident in his voice.

John smiled, reaching behind him to pat Karkat's side. "I wouldn't dream of it. You just get some sleep. We still have a day or so."

The troll shifted to tug the hood of his cloak over his head, tucking his head between his arms to keep the sun from bothering him. With the warmth of the hero's body beneath him and the blanket of security wrapped around him, Karkat fell asleep without a problem.

* * *

With an arm dangling lazily over John's side and a leg curled up against his ass, Karkat was about as comfortable as he could be. Crimson eyes watched the clouds as they passed by, sometimes flickering over the mountains in the distance that Karkat found to be beautiful. He never thought he would ever enjoy flying. He was a troll after all. A troll's feet were meant to stay on the ground where they belonged. But flying with John was a new experience that Karkat didn't mind. He wasn't willing to admit it to the hero, but he was glad the male had practically forced him into it. Not to mention how nice it was to stick so close to John for such a long period.

"Karkat?"

"Hm?"

"I'm going to drop you off at the Academy, okay?"

The troll lifted his head at those words, moving his arm to grip the back of John's shoulder as he lifted ever so slightly to peer over the male's head. In the distance, the large looming castle was visible. Karkat blinked, his eyes widening slightly as he took in the large building he knew to be the academy. Mountains surrounded the place and he could see the large walls circling around the town. It was breathtaking. Even more so when Karkat realized that large castle was full of books.

"Why?"

"Well, it's on the way to the valley."

The troll perked an eyebrow. "You're going to leave me?"

"You can explore the academy while I take care of the Balverines. I'll leave you with Ash and Adi. They're trustworthy."

"Wouldn't it be faster to just go to the fucking valley?"

"Well, yeah, but-"

"Then take me with you." He knocked his knuckles against John's scalp before his claws slipped into that soft raven hair. "I can help you."

"There's no need for you to do that, Karkat." The human shifted, turning his head just enough so blue crystal could meet crimson.

The troll gave a slight shrug. "It'll be faster, shitstain. Were you not bitching at me about how fucking quickly you need to take care of those grubhumping bastards?"

"Well, Yeah but... They're not easy to fight, Karkat. I really um don't want you to get hurt." The red flush that came to pale cheeks was not missed by crimson eyes.

Karkat snorted softly, his nose crinkling as his lips curled over sharp fangs. "I've lived a hell lot longer than you, fuckass. I can handle myself."

"But-"

A snarl cut off the human as claws dug into his scalp, tugging at soft hair as the troll leaned closer to speak in the human's ear. "Just accept my generosity you infuriating piece of shit."

The shiver that ran down John's spine shook him the core as those lips moved against the shell of his ear. He swallowed hard and forced himself to nod. He was highly aware Karkat could handle himself but that didn't make him worry any less. The troll was his friend and the last thing he ever wanted to see was him hurt. But Karkat was strong, fast and tough. John wondered if the Balverines were any match for him. Being fast was key against them and Karkat sure had that on his side.

Once they neared the valley, flying over a mountain and a vast forest, John shifted into an upright position. He didn't bother to warn Karkat, trusting the wind to keep the troll safe but he wasn't prepared for those sharp claws to suddenly dig into his shoulders. He winced in pain, his own hands quickly moving to grasp those hands.

"Ah, ow, Karkat."

"Warn me next time, fucktard." The troll growled, his lips curled over his teeth as he let his hands be taken by the human.

John rolled his eyes as he twisted his body, pushing away from Karkat for just a second so they could face one another. "I'm not going to drop you. Trust me already." He linked their fingers together in one hand while an arm slipped around that waist to pull the troll close, a smile on his lips. "We should go flying together more often."

"No. Fuck you. My feet belong firmly planted on the goddamn ground." Karkat hissed, the slight flush on his grey cheeks betraying his words.

John chuckled softly. "Really? Cause you seemed to enjoy it."

"Put me on the ground you assnugget."

Karkat had not even noticed that while he was preoccupied dealing with John, the two of them had floated toward the ground. The hero let out a soft laugh, leaning forward to plant his lips against a flushed cheek before he pulled away just enough to drop Karkat to the ground. The troll nearly had a heart attack at the sudden gravity that surrounded him until his feet touched the ground.

"You asshole." He hissed, ripping his hand from John's as he tried to steady himself on his feet. Really, he'd only been dropped a foot but it was enough to almost scare the piss out of him.

John chuckled softly, the grin on his face succeeding in pissing off the troll more as he floated in the air. "Aw, come on Karkat, it was funny."

"I'm going to rip your lungs from your chest and shove them down your shitspewing gagpipe." But his comeback held no amount of venom and the corners of his lips twitched into the slightest grin.

"Oh my, Karkat, you're such a huge flirt." He twisted his body in the air, leaning down so he could press their noses together.

Those rounded cheeks flushed the darkest red John had ever seen before those claws were swiping at him causing him to fly out of the way with a deep laugh. That laugh died in his throat, however, when a loud deep growl echoed through the woods around them. John blinked, turning around in the air, his eyes scanning the dimly lit woods. When he turned back to Karkat, the troll was gone. His heart clenched in his chest, his breath caught in his throat and he quickly scanned the area. Relief filled him when he noticed the troll on a branch in a tree, crouched and ready for a fight.

John swallowed hard as he grabbed the hammer from his back, detaching it to swing around his head as he flew higher in the air. Crimson met blue for a split second before they were both off through the woods, moving toward the sound of grunts and hisses that were well known to be Balverines. The woods thinned out until there was a large clearing on the side of a lake where John could spot three Balverines in a circle, chirping at one another.

The hero stopped in mid-air to press himself against a tree, narrowing his eyes as he took assessment of the situation. Three Balverines. Two of them. The odds were in their favor. Though John was concerned that the numbers had grown since he heard from Rose. He bit his lower lip, anger swelling in his chest as he considered the best course of action.

The three large naturally hunched creatures stayed in their circle, their large claws hanging at their sides as they communicated. Their skin was rough and darkly colored, with random tuffs of fur spread out. They had large glowing eyes set on a pushed in face with a large jaw that John knew all too well. The creatures had yet to notice John or Karkat so the hero was hoping the element of surprise would be in their favor.

John took a deep breath as he grabbed the pistol from his side, twirling it in his fingers for a moment before he raised it and aimed. Picking them off would be the best bet. Though John knew he would only manage to get one down before the other's attacked. One was better than none. So with narrowed eyes, a pounding heart and a bite to his lip, John aimed and pulled the trigger a total of three times in succession. The sound of the gunshots echoed through the valley along with the sudden screeches of the creatures who were now highly aware of his presence.

One down; two to go.

John quickly holstered his gun and shot up into the air just as the tree he was in shook with the weight of the large body that slammed into it. He grasped his hammer with two hands, flipping around in the air until his feet hit the ground just as a Balverine landed before him. Those teeth were sharp, dripping with saliva as its mouth opened wide to release a loud, bone chilling growl. The hero let out a growl of his own and twirled his hammer around only to have it grabbed by the Balverine, sharp claws wrapping around it and tugged, throwing John over its head and to the ground. Pain exploded in John's back, his bones cracking together at the impact.

"Fuck." The hero gasped, quickly getting to his feet as he held the hammer in front of him. The Balverine hopped from side to side, his claws spread out on either side of it as if it was just asking for John to attack it. His heels dug into the ground as he pressed off into the sky, using his element against the creature. He smirked at the screech he received but in a blink, the Balverine was gone. He hissed, twisting around and searching the sky for the creature.

A strange deep growl caught his attention and he turned in time to see Karkat be pinned to the ground by the other Balverine. Instinct screamed at him to help and before John even realized what he was doing, his body made contact with the Balverine, knocking it off-balance and to the ground. Blue met crimson for a split second before John was forced into the air again to avoid exceptionally long claws that swapped at him in succession.

Both Balverines surrounded Karkat, the troll crouched down with his lips curled over his teeth and his claws spread out at his sides much like the other creatures. John's eyes narrowed as he hovered in the air, taking in how Karkat had the complete attention of both creatures. Crimson eyes started to glow, claws grew a little sharper and then the troll launched into the air. He was too fast for either Balverine to avoid being attacked. John watched in slight awe and horror as Karkat pinned a Balverine to the ground, his teeth sunk into its neck and his claws buried deep into its chest.

The hero had to force himself to look away and move quickly as the second Balverine moved toward Karkat. John swung his hammer around in the air and used wind and gravity to slam that hammer down. The echoing crunch of a Balverine's head being slammed into the ground was one of the most satisfying things John had ever experienced in his life.

Two down; One to go.

John shifted, leaving the head of his hammer buried in the ground with the smashed head of the Balverine so he could focus his attention on Karkat. The troll was straddling the large squirming body of the Balverine, his teeth sunk deep into its throat while his claws made ribbons about of its chest. John felt his stomach lurch though he was also fascinated with the skill Karkat used to disembowel the creature. The hero could only watch with wide eyes as the creature finally stilled beneath the shaking troll.

Karkat unlatched his jaw from the creatures throat, his claws stilling in its chest as he sat up, licking the blood dripping from his lips and chin. The smirk that graced his lips surged a chill down John's spine and he was reminded just how  _dangerous_ Karkat really was. He swallowed hard past the lump in his throat and ignored the strange swell of heat in the pit of his stomach. He wasn't aroused. No way in hell was he aroused at seeing Karkat disembowel a Balverine. Because seeing someone in a bestial nature; fully able to take care of himself and take down a strong, wild  creature with his bare hands wasn't attractive at all. Of course not.

"You're drooling, asswipe." Karkat mumbled, crimson eyes watching the human as he lumbered to his feet.

John was struck still, pinned where he was by those sharp crimson eyes. Lips curled over sharp red teeth as Karkat made his way to the stunned human. He reached forward with blood soaked claws to grasp the human's chin in one hand; claws bending into the hallows of his cheeks. Blue eyes widened a fraction before those bloody lips pressed against his own.

John inhaled sharply, his glasses shifting on his nose as his eyes widened as much as they could. The scent of blood filled his senses and for a moment all he could _feel_ was Karkat.  The scent of blood was strong, coating his nose and throat but there was something underneath. Something spicy and... 100% Karkat. A fire like heat spread over John's skin and quickly settled into the bit of his stomach before shifting to an area just below that.

"F-Fuck, Karkat." John gasped once his lips were released. The troll gave his face a squeeze before releasing him completely to clean the blood from his claws and face. John swallowed hard, licking at the blood on his lips as his breath came out in uncontrollable pants.

"Well, that was easy." Karkat mumbled, using the edge of his clock to clean the blood from his face. "I thought they'd be more of a fight." John tried to find his breath so he could form words but the task seemed impossible. "I'm surprised these fuck-"

John didn't even have a chance to react when the large white creature fell from the sky to land directly on top of Karkat. Karkat let out a deep growl that struck John to the core as he was pressed hard into the ground. John grabbed his hammer quickly, eyes narrowing as the white Balverine stood up on its hind legs, arched its back and let out a bone clattering howl.

The creature was twice the size of a normal Balverine and twice as powerful to boot. They were rare. Super rare. John didn't even want to think about what that person had done to become such a creature. His teeth grit together, his muscles tense and he raised his hammer, ready to attack. Karkat groaned beneath the creature, his claws digging into the dirt as a heavy foot pressed into his back. Alarm sparked in John's mind at the red blood that burst from Karkat's mouth suddenly.

The hammer clattered to the ground as a blue mist wrapped around John, lifting the hero in the air as his hands reached out before him. His blue eyes shifted, practically glowing as the strange blue magic swirled around him. The white Balverine let out a growl, turning toward the hero though its heavy foot remained on the troll. Karkat let out a string of curses as his claws reached behind him to dig deep into white skin. The Balverine let out a hiss, its jaw unlatching as it howled again. Karkat kept a grip on that foot until it lifted into the air and slammed him back onto the ground, taking his breath away.

A flash of blue then the white creature was tossed into the air, leaving Karkat to curl into a coughing ball. A series of growls, clicks and hisses escaped the creature but John gave it no time to recover. Blue surrounded the creature, suffocating it before crushing it. Blood exploded from the crumpled body that quickly fell to the ground in a heap of limbs.

John dropped to the ground, landing on his feet effortlessly as the blue magic disappeared. He didn't have time to analyze what he had just done. He was at Karkat's side and on his knees in an instant.

"Karkat!" He gasped, his hands hovering in the air as if he was scared to touch the coughing troll. He was afraid to hurt him considering he wasn't sure where he was hurt.

"Fucking," he gasped, coughing a few more times as he curled into himself, "ass shit."

"Where are you hurt?" John asked hurriedly, his hands hovering over the trolls shaking shoulder and head.

"I'm, fine." He mumbled between coughs, his voice soft and broken. He struggled to breathe, taking in gulps of air that just didn't seem to be enough. With each gulp of air, his body convulsed into a coughing fit.

"Shit, no you are not, Karkat." John's face contorted into worry as he quickly slipped an arm under the troll's neck, lifting his head and body into a sitting position. "I apologize ahead of time if this hurts." He grasped the troll's chin in his hand before pressing their lips together hard. Karkat parted his lips in a painful gasp but otherwise didn't move as he allowed John to _breathe_ into him.

The cool breath of the hero slipped down Karkat's throat and made his lungs expand painfully before the pain soothed into a cool dull ache. He could feel the magic in John's breath take over his body and sooth it, much like it had done once before. He relaxed slightly in the human's hold, just allowing his body to breath and calm down. After a moment, John pulled away, blue eyes searching crimson worriedly as he gripped the troll to him tightly.

"Son of a kringlefucking grubfisting shame globe juggler." Karkat groaned out, letting his eyes close for a few seconds.

Relief filled the hero causing a smile to come to his lips at those words. "Are you okay? Nothing's broken is it?"

"I'm fucking fine." Karkat grumbled softly, peaking an eye open to meet concerned blue. "Just knocked the air out of me is all."

John lifted a hand, brushing his thumb over Karkat's bottom lip, catching a drop of red blood. "You scared me." Crimson eyes landed on the blood John wiped away and for a moment, Karkat became as stiff as a stone. "You're not bleeding inside are you?" John pressed his fingertips against Karkat's lips, searching for more blood that stained sharp teeth.

"Fucking-Stop it." Karkat slapped his hand away from his mouth and pressed his lips together.

"But you're bleeding."

"I'm fine." He snapped, pushing away from the human to scramble to his feet. "Bit my tongue is all." He grumbled, rubbing at his mouth with the back of his sleeve.

John moved to his feet quickly and gave Karkat a good once over to make sure the troll really was unharmed. "So you're okay?"

"I'm fine you annoying sack of shit." He hissed, turning on the human with a snarl.

Arms encircled the troll's waist suddenly as John pressed his face into his neck, holding him tightly. "I'm so glad." He breathed softly.

Karkat was stiff for only a second before his arms wrapped around John's shoulders, a clawed hand digging into soft raven hair. Crimson eyes landed on the broken body a few feet away from them and the troll felt the same heat flood his body as John had only moments before. Claws tightened in dark hair as he quickly averted his eyes away from the corpse.

"You obliterated that bastard." Karkat whispered softly, claws running down John's back for just a moment. "Fuck that hammer. All you need are your hands."

John let out a soft sigh as he pulled back, turning his head to glance at the white corpse. "Yeah, I don't know how I did that."

Karkat perked a brow, his eyes focusing on that handsome face. "You're pretty grubfucking powerful, John."

The hero blinked, his cheeks flushing slightly when he met those eyes. "I, uh, I guess?" He shrugged before leaning forward, pressing his lips to Karkat's button nose before he released the troll to find his hammer.

Karkat remained where he was, his mind racing and his heart pounding. His body sparked with arousal and he did everything in his power to _push_ it down. John was his friend. His _friend_. That was all they were. Friends. He couldn't even use the  Kismises excuse any more so he had to force down whatever strange arousal he felt for the human. He blamed it on his lack of contact for such a long time. He'd never been blind to how attractive John was but it was different now. A thought clawed at the back of his mind that he quickly shoved down and locked in a cage. He wasn't even aware that John was struggling with the same thing he was.

John twirled his hammer in his hand for a moment after picking it up from the ground, checking it over before moving toward the edge of the lake. Karkat followed along behind him, intending to clean up the blood from his body. John dropped the head of his hammer into the water, not minding the soft splash it made against his boots. Karkat knelt on the ground beside him, leaning over the water. He ducked his hands into the water, scrubbing away the blood before cupping it to splash at his face. He ran wet fingers through his hair, cleaning blood the best he could.

"Welp, Mission accomplished." John said with a soft smile as he twirled his hammer in the water, watching as the blood dissolved from the metal.

"Not half bad." Karkat mused softly, scrubbing at his fangs with a finger before he took some water in his mouth to swish around. It tasted strange so he quickly spit it out, glaring at the red blood that mixed with it.

John eyed the troll with concerned eyes, taking note of the blood. "Sure you're alright?"

"Fucking fantastic." Karkat grumbled, rolling his stiff shoulders. Truthfully, he was a little sore from having such a large creature suddenly land on him but he'd had much worse in his lifetime so he felt no point in complaining about it.

John tugged his hammer from the water and used the tail of his hood to dry the head. Once that was done, he attached the large thing to his back before turning to kneel beside Karkat. He used the end of his tail to dab at the troll's cheek, drying him with a soft smile. "Yeah, well, we did it Karkat. It was actually a lot of fun. I should take you on quests more often."

"No. Fuck you. Never again." Karkat didn't bother to stop John from dabbing at his skin as he sat back on his heels, resting his now clean hands in his lap.

John's lips quirked into a smile as he tilted his head sightly. "Least there's a reward in the end." Karkat just perked a brow, glancing at John from the corner of his eye. "Books. So many books."

Life sparked in crimson eyes. Claws wrapped around John's wrist, stopping it from dabbing at grey skin before Karkat pulled them to their feet. John blinked in slightly surprise but he couldn't stop the grin that came to his lips at the pure look of interest on the troll's face. "What the shitfuck are we waiting for then?"

John chuckled softly, twisting his hand so he could curl his fingers around those claws before pushing off the ground. "Let's go then." Karkat didn't even fight it when he was lifted into the air with the hero.

* * *

Karkat knew how to handle himself around humans without being spotted. He kept the cloak over his shoulders, keeping his hands pressed to his sides to hide his grey skin and claws. The hood covered half his face, keeping his small horns hidden and most of his grey face. As long as he kept his head titled down, no one would be any wiser. But  _this_ was different for him. He always stuck to the shadows to just  observe. He had never walked right into the middle of a town, surrounded by people in the middle of the day.

John didn't touch Karkat but he kept close, leaving less than a foot between them as they entered Brightwall. The hero was immediately recognized and the attention he received made Karkat's skin crawl. It wasn't that Karkat feared the humans. No, of course not. But his experience with them was limited to hiding in the shadows to observe. John didn't count. He wasn't human. Not really.

The troll kept close to the human, his crimson eyes focused on the ground before him as the hero lead him through the town. They paused a few times so the hero could greet villagers but no one bothered to question who Karkat was. For that, the troll was a bit grateful. But keeping ones head down in an area he was not used to could lead to a few problems. Like when Karkat accidentally shouldered a woman. After running into a bucket, John gave up and grabbed Karkat's wrist through the cloak. He pressed close to the troll, keeping their sides together, his fingers around that grey wrist as they made their way up the hill toward the academy.

"You don't need to lead me like a pathetic grub." Karkat grumbled, lifting his head just enough so crimson eyes could meet smiling blue.

John shrugged one shoulder, letting his bicep press to Karkat's. "You're the one hiding. They won't be scared of you."

The troll snarled softly, tearing his eyes away to the ground. "Fuck off." He grumbled softly.

The human rolled his eyes, a kindhearted smile on his lips as he nudged the troll gently. "Come on, look up. We're here."

Crimson eyes raised, peering out from the darkness of the cloak, landing on the large looming castle before them. Karkat stilled, his eyes widening slightly as he took in the large building. Inside was full of books. All kinds of books. Anything he could ever want. His heart pounded in his chest, his breath deepening as he pulled away from John to approached the large double doors.

Excitement sparked along his skin, a soft smile coming to his lips as he reached out to run his claw tips over the wooden handle. John laughed softly from beside him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Go ahead. Open it." Karkat didn't even need the encouragement. He grabbed the handle with both hands and tugged, pulling the door open. The cool stuffy air smacked him in the face and John was left laughing as the troll hurried inside.

The scent of paper was calming to the troll as he sniffed the air, his eyes wide as he looked around the entrance. There really was books everywhere. Karkat was in heaven. There was no doubt. That Balverine had actually killed him and he was in heaven. John followed the troll silently, a smile on his face as they moved toward the center room.

"John! Hello!" Alexander greeted them as they neared the Librarian's desk.

"Hello!" John smiled, slipping an arm around Karkat's shoulders to lead him toward the desk. Considering he was book drunk, Karkat followed without a fuss. "It's nice to see you again."

"As it is to see you." The older male gave a smile, glancing between the two before him. "You've been coming by often. I hope this becomes a habit."

John chuckled softly, nudging Karkat gently. "Well my friend here is an avid reader, so he wanted to come by. I have a feeling we'll come by often."

The man's eyes lit up. "That's wonderful. Is there anything in particular you're looking for?"

John shook his head, smiling as Karkat twitched at his side, eager to search the place. "We'll just look around. We'll probably be here a while."

"Take your time!"

"Thanks. Come on, Karkat." John laughed as he pulled the troll to walk around the desk. Karkat followed along obediently, his crimson eyes glancing around at the amount of books around him. Once they were down the hallway and out of earshot from the librarian, John pulled the troll just a little closer to whisper near his ear. "You can check out the library whenever you want, but I want to take you to the Reliquary first. That's where all the troll books are."

Karkat perked up at the mention of troll books and shifted to meet blue eyes. "The fuck is a reliquary?"

"Well, It's this ancient hero temple like place. It's pretty cool."

The door to the Reliquary was safely locked when they approached it so John released his troll so he could take the chance to unlock it. Karkat watched in interest as the hero placed his hand in the metal circle so blue magic could flow over the mechanics to unlock the door. The door clicked loudly before John gave it a good push so it could swing open into a dark stairway.

"Adi's going to be really excited to meet you."

Karkat just grunted, glancing around the room before he tugged his hood down. He shook out his hair, ruffling it with a hand before stepping toward the open door. "Let's go already."

John smiled, nodding as he moved down the stairs with Karkat. They were silent as they descended, the air shifting into a familiar musky scent. The troll crinkled his nose at the scent, slightly missing the smell of books. The cool air made his skin crawl and he wasn't sure why. It was almost like the air was moving, charged with some type of energy that Karkat could not place.

Once they reached the bottom of the stairs, Karkat was slightly surprised to see the state of the place. Books scattered along the floor, broken bookcases and it made him slightly uncomfortable. But John passed all these things so he followed along in curiosity. They followed the lit candles down another stairway before they were greeted by a horde of hollow men. Karkat stiffened, pausing behind the hero who just gave the creatures a wave.

The creatures clinked about as they shifted out of the way so John could move toward the door. Karkat followed behind him, his crimson eyes narrow as they watched the hollow men. The creatures just lumbered about, not moving much and didn't even seem to notice them. That was strange to the troll. He'd dealt with plenty of hollow men in his time after spending a good deal of his life in Mourningwood. He knew how they moved, how they attacked but he had never seen them just _s_ _tand_ there with prey only a few feet away.

"Come on, they won't hurt us." Warm fingers wrapped around his wrist as John offered him a kind smile.

"I fucking see that. Why?" Karkat continued to eye the creatures behind them as they moved through the door, not willing to trust them.

"Ash has control over them. We're no threat to them and they know that."

"Didn't know something could control them."

"Eh, Ash isn't just something. He's like, a general?" John mused as they moved down a series of hallways. "I never fully understood it myself to be honest. He's like the general of a hollow men army or something? Like, not here, in our world, but in their world. Which, I mean, I still don't understand. But I do know he can control them and so they don't attack me. Cause we're friends."

"Uh-huh."

"It's more like I'd rather not have hero blood on my hands."

Karkat snapped his head up at the deep voice, his crimson eyes narrowing and his lips curling over sharp teeth. But John's hand squeezed his wrist gently as they glanced up at the strangely colored male sitting on the edge of a gargoyle. Karkat had not even noticed when they entered the large room and he silently cursed himself for becoming a little lost in John's voice.

"Aw! Ash! We're friends, aren't we?"

"Bah." The male gave a shrug as he slipped off the gargoyle to land on his feet not far from the duo. "What choice do I have." He shrugged one bare shoulder though the soft smirk on his lips proved he was only teasing. "So, what brings you back? Where's that douchebag friend of yours?" Glowing green eyes shifted to Karkat and the troll suddenly felt a spark of heat run through his body.

"He's in Aurora. This is Karkat!" John tugged the troll forward till they were a few steps from the hollow man. "Karkat this is Asher."

Crimson met glowing green before those eyes shifted down the troll's body, taking in every curve and bend. Karkat felt thoroughly violated when those eyes met his once again. "Your troll, huh? Adi's gonna flip."

"Where is Adi?"

"Downstairs. Come on." Ash motioned for them to follow before he vaulted over the side of the railing, disappearing into the dark hole in the center of the room.

Karkat blinked in slight surprise before he was grabbed and tugged into the air. He wiggled slightly, pushing close to John as the hero let them drop gently down the hole after Ash. Karkat took a moment to take in the many floors full of books. He was in slight awe about it all. He'd never known there was a place with so many books before in his life. If he'd known about the academy before, he would have made the place his home like Ash and Adi seemed to have done.

The floor at the bottom of the hole was lit with candles and showed its ware. The checkered marble floor was beaten and broken but felt steady beneath their feet. John released the troll once they were on solid ground once again and the two moved to follow Ash down a hallway. The hallways were lined with bookcases that were broken with the weight of the books on them.

"Hey, babe." Crimson eyes snapped up at the words, taking in the large room they entered. On the floor in the middle of the bookcase lined room, sat the strange blue haired boy. Books were scattered around him, some open and some not. He had a leather-bound journal in his lap, a charcoal pencil in one hand that he used to scribble down words. The boy only gave a grunt of acknowledgement to his lover that made John chuckled softly.

"Boy, don't ignore me. We have company." Ash grumbled, placing his hands on his hips.

Bright blue eyes blinked before peering up to see John and Karkat standing a few feet away. It took a second for Adairis to react. Really, that was all it took. He was in the air in a split second, papers scattering about as he flew to Karkat, the strangest grin on his lips as he came to a stop, hovering in the air. Karkat stiffened, his spine going straight at the strange creature that peered into his face, much too close for comfort.

"So you're the hero's troll!"

Karkat hissed, his lips curling up in a snarl. "I'm really fucking sick of hearing that. As if I could ever belong to such a pathetic sack of flesh."

Blue eyes sparked to life at the word pathetic and for a moment, Karkat wondered if he'd slipped up. John had told him Adairis spent a lot of time reading about trolls and that could mean anything. Adairis just grinned, lowering himself to the ground as he crossed his arms behind his back. "I'm Adairis. It's an honest pleasure to meet you, Mr. Troll."

Karkat wanted to groan. Not that again. Anything but that. "Karkat. My name is Karkat."

"Right, Karkat." He tilted his head, his smile spreading over his face. Much too wide and way too many teeth. Blue eyes scanned his body much like green had done before shifting to the hero. "So I take it the chocolate and books worked?"

John's eyes widened a fraction, his cheeks flushing as he smiled softly. "Ah, um, y-yeah. It worked."

"Lovely." Adairis reached forward suddenly, grasping both of Karkat's hands in his own as he grinned at him. "I bet you want to see all the books we have. So much troll romance! Black is my favorite." He giggled softly as he pulled Karkat to follow him back over to his pile. The troll followed willingly at the mention of books. If John trusted these creatures, Karkat felt he owed them a little trust of his own at least. The human was dense but he wasn't stupid.

"This is one of my favorites!" Adairis released Karkat to snatch up a leather-bound book from the ground before pushing it toward Karkat.

The troll took the offered book, giving the title a read before a soft smirk curled to his lips. "I've read this one. The mutual hate is quite satisfactory."

Adairis perked up. "Right? I never understood such a type of romance before but now, I find it so wonderful! Trolls are so fascinating."

Karkat perked a brow as he looked around at the books scattering the floor. "I'm more of a pale romance troll, myself."

"Oh! Pale!" Adairis plopped down on the floor, folding his legs as he tugged a few books near him. "Pale is so heartwarming. Personally, I can't fully understand it, but it's lovely all the same." He smiled as Karkat shifted to sit on the floor across from him, popping the buttons on his cloak so he could tug it off and place it beside him. "What about red? I've found that finding books on red romance is a bit harder."

Karkat nodded softly. "Red-rom is more personal. Much more so than pale or black could ever be. Trolls seem to be a bit too embarrassed to write about it. Because it's so... personal. Though, I've always wanted to write my own novel about it."

"Really?!" Adairis lit up, his grin growing; less teeth, more lips. He snatched up the journal he'd been scribbling in when they arrived and held it out to Karkat. "I've been trying to write as well! Nothing troll related but I do enjoy writing small little stories."

Karkat took the offered book and flipped it open to scan over the handwritten words. "I have yet to try."

"You should! I have another journal!" And then Adairis was in the air, moving to the side of the room to dig through a pile of books.

John watched all this with a slight sense of awe, a strange feeling swirling in his stomach. He had hoped Karkat would get along with Adairis but he didn't expect them to hit it off right away. It took him months to get to casual conversation level with the troll and yet Karkat had hardly known Adairis for ten minutes and the two were discussing romance like they'd known each other their whole lives. John didn't consider that Karkat was being nice for his sake. Because since when had Karkat been nice for anyone?

"Once you get Adi started, it's a while before he stops." Asher pointed out, crossing his arms over his chest as he stood beside the hero.

"Yeah, Karkat's kind of the same. He'll go on for hours about the different types of romance."

Asher let out a soft sigh. "Yeah, we're gonna be here a while."

John bit his lower lip before moving over to the two on the floor. Adairis had returned to give Karkat a blank journal that the troll was currently flipping through. "Having fun?" He asked with a soft smile, moving to sit on the floor beside the troll, not minding when their bent knees pressed together. Karkat nodded at his words, his grey cheeks flushing slightly at the subtle touch of the human. Adairis didn't fail to notice this but kept his knowledge to himself, more than happy to have a troll he could talk to about, well, trolls.

* * *

With a heave and a grunt, Karkat placed the large sack of books on his already cluttered kitchen table. The wooden surface creaked with the new weight but held steady. The troll removed his cloak, tossing it into the corner before digging into the sack so he could pull books out and stack them into piles. John watched him for a moment before shifting over to the troll's bed, sitting down so he could take off his boots.

"You seem happy." The hero pondered aloud, blue eyes glancing from his boots to the troll.

Karkat shrugged slightly, focusing on organizing his new books by quadrants. "I have enough reading to hold me for a while."

"I'm really glad you came with me." John mumbled softly, his cheeks flushed as he tucked his boots under the bed. He unbuckled the belt around his waist, tugging and pulling till he was free of it before dropping it on the floor, along with the pistol attached to it.

"It wasn't a complete bonefucking disaster." The troll agreed softly, glancing over his shoulder in time to see John grab the edge of his blue tunic and tug it over his head. Crimson eyes blinked in surprise, a flush coming to grey cheeks and a warmth flooding his stomach. "What in holy shitfucking hell are you doing?"

John blinked, tilting his head at the troll as he dropped his tunic onto his belt, hood and all. "I haven't slept in almost a week."

Though the heat in his stomach remained, Karkat relaxed. "Fantastic how you assume I'll let you use my bed."

"Wouldn't be the first time." John pointed out as he shifted up the bed, moving against the wall as he laid on his back, tucking an arm under his head. He pulled the black frames off his face, folding them neatly to rest on the headboard.

Karkat grunted softly, grabbing one of the leather-bound books from the sack before turning toward the bed. He tugged his boots off before he sat on the bed beside John. The bed wasn't really made for two people to fit but neither one cared. Karkat pressed his back to the headboard, a hand immediately going into soft raven hair as John curled against his thigh, tossing an arm over his legs. He propped the book against his chest, fingers slipping through soft hair as he started to read aloud for the sleepy hero without having to be asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm pretty sure there's some mistakes in there because spellcheck and shit was being weird. I'll try to go back and fix them later. I hope you enjoyed it. Because it's a nice little fluff before everything goes to hell.
> 
> Wait. What. No of course I'm not going to hurt my babies again. Why on earth would I do that? 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Remember, kudos are great but you can only do it once for a chapter fic, so comments are always appreciated! I tend to reply to every one I get!
> 
> ~Addy~


	10. Month 5 - October - Vantas Meets Strider

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goodness did this take awhile. Sorry about that. Been all kinds of crazy lately. Lost my oomph for this story for a bit but it has returned. I've planned out most of this story. We're looking about about 20 chapters or so total. So WE ARE HALFWAY THERE GUYS. I have so much planned for this I can't even begin to explain how excited I am.
> 
> Thanks for waiting guys. And Extra long chapter just for you. Longest one yet actually!

After introducing Karkat to Adairis and Asher, John felt confidant in introducing the rest of his friends and family to the troll. But he was unsure where to begin. Rose was probably a great start but she was always so busy in Bowerstone with her magic and such that John wasn't sure when she'd get the chance to come to Oakfield. He wasn't willing to ask Karkat to leave just to meet his family. He felt that was a little too much to ask of the troll.

John wasn't even sure Karkat wanted to meet his family. The troll had never shown any interest in doing so but it was important to John for his fellow heroes to meet the troll that had changed his life. He knew they wanted to met Karkat without a doubt. But there was a slight downside that John hated to think about. In fact, he hated that the thought had ever even come to his mind.

If Karkat were to meet the other heroes, then the troll would make more friends. Thus with more friends, would he not have less time to spend with John? The hero hated that thought. He hated that such a thing bothered him. He never thought about sharing the troll. He never thought it would be a problem. Now it was and that bothered him. He knew it shouldn't be a problem. Karkat was his own being and was free to do what he wanted; with who he wanted. John wasn't allowed to be selfish and keep the troll to himself. Especially after their last fight...

"She sure is popular, Isn't she?"

John blinked, snapping from his thoughts at the soft feminine voice beside him. Blue eyes raised from the ground to watch the girl running around that Annabelle spoke of. Casey was being chased by five boys around her own age. Boys from the village. They'd taken a liking to her recently and John still wasn't sure how he felt about that. "She sure is." He mumbled softly, squeezing his folded hands together a little tighter.

Annabelle gave him a soft smile, her hands folded in her lap as the two of them sat on a wooden bench not too far from where Casey was playing with her friends in a grassy field. The air was cool and crisp, a reminder that fall had come and winter would soon follow. The trees of the forest were already starting to turn different colors. "She's going to be quite the heartbreaker."

John crinkled his nose and sat up from his bent over position, narrowing his eyes at the boys chasing the giggling girl. "I don't know how I feel about that. I'd rather she not break hearts. Hell, I'd rather she not deal with boys at all."

The young woman at his side let out a soft snicker, the smile on her face bright as she watched the hero. "You sound like her father."

He perked a brow, glancing at the slightly flushing woman from the corner of his eye. "Well, I practically am, aren't I? I mean, I know I didn't exactly help conceive her or anything." His cheeks flushed slightly at the idea and he quickly glanced away to the ground. "But I'm here for her as much as possible. I never had parents, So I really have no idea what I'm doing but... I feel like she is my child."

Annabelle smiled, her eyes glistening with unshed tears as she nodded slightly. "You are her father as far as I am concerned, John." Something about the way the woman spoke those words struck something in John. His eyes widened a fraction and he glanced at her, his realization evident on his face. Annabelle just smiled at him, nodding slightly as she looked away to her child. "I knew better than to; But well, it was hard not to."

John swallowed hard, his spine going prickly as he sat up straight. "I didn't... I'm sorry, I-"

"I know, John." She patted his arm gently, her eyes warm and kind as she glanced at him. "But you can't blame a woman for hoping. Honestly, It's rather hard not to fall for a guy like you. Warm, kind and caring. Already willing to take a child under his wing that isn't his. That's rather hard to find these days."

"I..." John chewed on his lower lip for a moment as he glanced at Casey. "You'll find someone, Annabelle. You're a lovely lady. Any man would be lucky to have you."

She laughed softly. "Funny thing is, I already found my man. He just wasn't able to stay around." She tilted her head slightly as she watched Casey. "I don't see finding another man like him."

"You won't. Cause he was him and there's no one like anyone else. But that doesn't mean you can't find a man who will love you and take care of you, and Casey."

"You're willing to share her?" She asked with a playful smile.

"Well, I mean, not with grubby little boys but if there's a man out there willing to be kind to her and treat her like his own, like me, I can respect him. Especially if he makes you happy. I mean, we're friends aren't we?"

"Yes, we are."

"Well, I want you to be happy. So don't count out finding love again, okay?" He smiled softly, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. "It's always out there."

She gave him a warm smile as she patted his hand on her shoulder. "Yes, yes, you're right." She took a deep breath and straightened herself up as John returned his hand to his lap. "Since we are on the topic, How are you and Karkat?"

John blinked, his eyebrows raising as his cheeks flushed slightly. "I, um, We're doing pretty well."

Annabelle smiled knowingly as she folded her hands in her lap. "That's good. Remember that you deserve happiness as well, John. There is love out there for you too."

"I... Are you talking about Karkat?"

She giggled softly, her shoulders shaking in humor as she nodded. "Who else?"

"Ah, no, I mean, we're just friends." He shook his head rather vigorously, his cheeks flushing a deep red and his mouth went a little dry.

"Oh, right. Of course you are. _Just_ friends."

John swallowed hard, closing his eyes tightly for a few seconds to calm his racing heart. He didn't think he'd ever been so obvious about it but he was starting to wonder if he had been. Did that mean Karkat had picked up on it? No, the troll would have said something. Wouldn't he? "Well, I was starting to think about introducing the other heroes to him. They really want to meet him. Especially Jade."

"That's a good idea."

John nodded in agreement. "Yeah, But I'm not sure who should meet him first. I don't want to just spring people on him."

"Yes, that's quite a predicament."

The hero nodded, his blue eyes shifting to the squealing girl a few feet away. He wasn't sure what the group of children were playing, he only knew that Casey was in control of the game. He smiled softly, watching as the girl led those little boys around like she was a queen. She really did have a way with others. A natural-born leader from the look of it. And then the idea struck him. John was surprised he had not thought of it sooner.

"I was thinking... Of maybe taking Casey to meet him first." He mumbled softly.

Annabelle blinked in slight surprise. "You were?"

"If that was okay with you, of course."

Annabelle moved to her feet, a smile on her lips. "Casey! Casey dear, come here a moment!" She called to her daughter who quickly left those boys behind to run to her mother.

"Yes, mama?" She was slightly out of breath, her cheeks red from all the running she had done but there was a bright smile on her lips that brought a warm feeling to John's chest as he stood up.

Annabelle knelt to her daughter's level with a smile on her face. "Casey, dear, would you like to meet Karkat?"

The little girl's face lit up like the bright sun rise, her eyes going wide and her mouth dropped, showing her perfect little teeth. "Really?" The word was a simple gasp, filled with the awe and wonder only a child could have.

"Mhm." Her mother's smile was wide as she bent over, her hands resting on her knees. "John wants to take you to meet him." Blue eyes glanced to the hero, who stood not too far away. "Would you like that?"

Casey's eyes locked on John and for a minute, the hero wasn't sure what she was even thinking. Then her lips turned up into the biggest smile John had ever seen on the little girl. "I can meet Mr. Troll? Really, Mr. Hero, really?!"

John chuckled softly, nodding. "Of course! I want him to meet you. He knows all about you and I'm sure he'll be really happy to meet you!" Though, John wasn't too sure about that last part. He just hoped Karkat would be okay with it.

She clapped her hands together suddenly and started to bounce up and down in excitement. "Can we go? Can we go now?!"

Annabelle stood up straight with a soft smile. "Well, You know Karkat doesn't wake up until the sun is gone. So, how about you take a nap right now and then you can leave with John after the sun has set."

John nodded at Annabelle's suggestion but Casey seemed to take a minute to think about it. She wiggled back and forth, jumping from foot to foot as she tilted her head from side to side. "I have to sleep now?"

"Yes, so you're not tired when you meet Karkat. You do want to meet him, do you not?"

"I do, I do! But..." She glanced behind her at the group of boys playing without her.

Annabelle gave a knowing smile as she placed a gentle hand atop her daughters head. "You can play with them tomorrow."

"Okay!" Her face lit up again as she spun around, waving a hand in the air at the group of boys. "I'll see you tomorrow boys! I'm going to go see my troll friend!" And then she was off toward the house, ready and eager to take a nap.

John and Annabelle chuckled softly as she disappeared into the house. "I'm glad she's eager." John said, glancing at the group of boys who seemed a little disappointed.

"I'll have her feed and well rested by the time night falls. See you then?"

He nodded. "Thanks, Annabelle. Means a lot that you trust me alone with her."

She laughed softly, patting his arm. "Did you forget you saved her life? Because I sure haven't. I trust you with her life. For more reasons than just that alone."

"And you trust her with a troll?"

Annabelle hummed, a knowing smile coming to her face. "I trust you. Thus I trust your judgement. And If you feel Karkat is okay to meet Casey, than I believe that as well."

"Well, I don't really know how he'll react." He rubbed the back of his neck, glancing away. "I've told him all about Casey and he seems interested? But it's kinda hard to tell with Karkat. I know he won't hurt her though."

"That's all that matters." She nodded at him as she turned back to her home. "See you in a few hours?"

"Yeah." He smiled, his heart pounding in happiness.

* * *

Excitement didn't take long to brew for John as the hours passed before nightfall. He wasn't even sure what to do with himself. Usually, he'd spend the day with Casey or would do odd jobs around the town. More often than not, John would already be at Karkat's and he'd end up sleeping the day away with the troll. Now that Casey was busy resting for her big night, John was left with not much else to do but wait. He tried reading a little but that wasn't as fun without Karkat.

Time ticked by slowly and by the time the sun finally started to set, John was more anxious than he'd been in a long time. When he showed up at Annabelle's door, he could hardly stop his hands from shaking or his heart from beating fast.

"You look about as excited as she does." Annabelle said with a smile, ushering John into her home.

Casey was sitting on the kitchen table, kicking her feet as she toyed with the doll in her hands. She glanced up when John entered and her face lit up once again. She jumped off the table, tossing the doll aside as she ran up to him, practically bouncing at his feet. "It is time? Is it time?"

John laughed softly, nodding as he bent down to her. "Yup. Karkat's probably already awake and waiting for me. He likes to get up before the sun's down these days."

"Cause he likes you so much!" Casey said with a grin.

"He sure does." Annabelle said in agreement. "She's been fed and napped. How long will you be gone?"

"Oh, um, just a few hours I think. I don't want to keep her out too late. I'll bring her back before sunrise for sure."

"Alright."

"Can we go now? Please." Casey bounced, her excitement obvious. Her normal dress had been replaced by a simple pair of slacks and a white blouse-like shirt. John was grateful for the change considering how active he and Karkat tended to be. The pants were a better choice for the girl than her usual dresses.

"You ready to fly?"

The little girl squealed. "Always ready!" Then she took off out the door and was quickly followed by her mother and John.

The hero didn't waste time in grabbing the girl around her waist and lifted her into the air. She squealed in excitement, making John smile broadly as he lifted into the air. Casey squirmed in his arms for a moment before she settled against his side, waving down at her mother. Annabelle returned the wave with a smile on her face and John considered introducing her to Karkat some day as well. One step at a time though.

"Here we go." He mumbled to the giggling little girl before he took off through the air.

The night air was cool, proving the beginning of the change of seasons. It was a bit refreshing after such a warm summer. The cool night of fall were some of John's favorites and he looked forward to sharing them with Karkat. In fact, he was rather excited about the prospect of snow coming soon and how he would spent those cold nights with the troll. It was something he thought about often.

"Will he like me?" Casey suddenly spoke softly, knocking John's thoughts away from the warm prospect of cold nights with the troll.

"What?"

"K-karkat." She mumbled softly, lowering her eyes to John's chest as they flew over the trees. "Will he like me?"

The hero blinked, narrowing his eyes slightly as he watched the little girl. "I... Of course he'll like you, Casey. Everyone likes you."

"B-But, he's a troll. He's different. And he's the hero's troll."

"I... Karkat is going to love you, Casey. I just know it."

Her bright eyes lit up as they met his. "You really think so?"

John never thought the day would come when the little girl would worry about if someone liked her or not so soon. In fact, it didn't set well with the hero at all. She was only five years old. Since when did she have such adult like worries? "Casey, Karkat may be a little abrasive and really, I'm not sure how he is around children, but he's a really nice guy deep down."

"What if... What if he doesn't like me?"

The hero blinked and physically wheeled back at the suggestion. "Casey, you don't need to worry about that."

"But what if he doesn't?!" Her eyes suddenly filled with tears. "Will you still love me if he doesn't? Will you leave me like daddy did?"

John stopped mid-air, his arms tightening around the little girl as his heart suddenly sank in his chest. "W-What? Casey, I would never. I.. Your daddy didn't leave because he _wanted_ to. He... Left because... Didn't your mother tell you why?" John wasn't even sure what Casey knew about her father and he didn't want to say something Annabelle hadn't told her yet.

"Mama said... she said... Daddy had to leave to be a hero."

John's breath caught in his throat. A hero. Her father was a hero. A solider who died fighting to keep her safe. To keep Albion safe. He was a different kind of hero. The type that John always strived to be. A hero who did what they did not because they had the power to, but because they had the bravery to do so. A hero who would give their life for the greater good. That was Casey's birth father.

"That's right. Your daddy was a hero. A true hero. A better hero than I could be."

Casey sniffed softly, shaking her head. "You saved my life. You're a hero too."

He smiled softly, hugging her a little closer to his chest. "Karkat will love you just as much as I do, I know it. Don't you worry if he won't or not. Cause no matter what, I'm not going anywhere."

The tears in her eyes faded away as she nodded with a bright smile, her excitement returning. "He's nice?"

John chuckled softly, shifting the girl in his arms as he took off through the air once again, the tail snapping in the wind. "Well, I wouldn't say that exactly. He can be nice but he's not always nice to everyone. Well, okay, that's not true. I've only seen him act around me and two other people, and he was really nice to them. So maybe it's just me?" He laughed again, shaking his head at her confused face. "I'm sure he'll be really nice to you."

"I'll be a good girl."

"I know you will."

They settled into silence after that as they flew over the trees. Once they entered Alternia, John could feel the shift in the air. How it became a little cooler and denser. He hoped to one day explore more of the troll country but he wasn't sure if that would ever happen. Karkat was happy to stay right where he was even if he seemed alright with exploring Albion. John still didn't know much about the troll country at all but he knew he had time to learn.

Casey suddenly gasped, snapping John's attention back to reality as they neared Karkat's cabin. Her smile was bright as she glanced down at the flowers that were starting to wilt ever so slightly. The cool night air wasn't good for them and John was beginning to wonder what Karkat was going to do with them once winter hit. Would he let them die and replant in the spring? He made a note to ask the troll about them later.

John lowered toward the ground, a smile on his face as the girl wiggled in his arms. "I don't think he's up yet." He gently placed the girl on the ground once he landed and laughed softly as she suddenly took off to look at the pretty flowers. "Don't wander too far off, okay?"

"Okay!" She called back, moving through the flowers gently.

The hero bit his lower lip against a smile before he turned toward the cabin. He paused in his step, his eyebrows perking up slightly at the sight of Karkat already standing in his open doorway. Crimson eyes were focused on the little girl who was peering at the tall purple flowers. John's heart jumped in his chest and he quickly shoved down the sudden fear that struck him.

"Hey Karkat." He tried to keep his voice normal as he approached the stiff troll. "Um, I hope you don't mind, but I, um, brought Casey to meet you."

Those crimson eyes widened a fraction as they settled on the human. Karkat's breath stilled and his shoulders went stiff. John had always mentioned wanting the two of them to meet but Karkat thought he would have more warning. Meeting Casey was a large step. A step toward... Well, he wasn't really sure. But either way, the action really didn't help the pale feelings that were already growing in his chest. Nor did they help the small ounce of red that screamed at him, " _you're practically meeting his daughter this is a huge fucking deal you shitface."_

"Is that okay?" John's voice was soft with a hint of worry as he peered at Karkat, his hands rubbing together against his stomach.

The troll took a deep breath, shoving down the mix of feelings that tried to fill him. "Yeah. It's fine." Crimson eyes snapped to the little girl who was running a finger over a purple petal gently.

John nodded, still not sure if it was alright or not. Considering how Karkat was acting. He wondered if the troll wasn't fond of children. He didn't think to ask about that. "Casey." He called to gain the girl's attention. She quickly snapped back from the flower to turn back toward the hero. Those bright eyes quickly landed on Karkat and for a moment, her face contorted in a strange form of fear; something John had not even considered. He really should have thought it through a bit more.

But then that fear was gone, replaced with wonder and awe before the girl took off running toward them. Karkat stepped out of his house, shutting the door behind him as he moved to stand beside John. What happened next stunned the hero. It was effortless, perfect and left him a little breathless. Casey squealed and launched into the air once she was close enough, not even taking a moment to consider Karkat wouldn't catch her. But he _did_ catch her. Effortlessly. He'd been ready to do so.

Karkat let out a soft grunt when the girl landed in his arms and he pulled her against his chest. Crimson eyes were unreadable but there was the faintest smirk on those lips. "Hello there."

"Hi! I'm Casey!" She wiggled in his arms, clamping her thighs down on either side of his waist as her hands immediately went for his horns.

John's mouth was open and ready to stop her but Karkat didn't even move. He tilted his head slightly as two little hands wrapped around each horn. They looked large in her small hands and the fit of giggles that came from her mouth made John relax slightly. "Well, Casey, your lusus should teach you not to grab horns that aren't yours. I'll let it slide though." The faintest of smirks was on Karkat's face and for a moment, John was struck still with a fuzzy memory that left him mentally spinning.

Casey blinked in surprise before quickly retracting her hands, lowering her eyes in slight shame. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright." Karkat gave a shrug before he gently placed her back on the ground.

"Ah, so, um, I like your horns."

"Thanks. Grew them myself."

She grinned from ear to ear at his words. "Mr. Hero was right, you are nice!"

"He said I was nice, huh?" Crimson eyes snapped to John, making the hero jump slightly. He still wasn't sure what was even going on. Lips pulled over sharp teeth just slightly as Karkat crouched down, bringing his claws up in a grabby motion. "Lies, all lies."

Casey squealed in delight as she planted her feet on the ground like she was ready to run. "Mr. troll is nice!"

Karkat snorted softly. "None of that mr. troll crap again. Call me Karkat."

"Karkat can't get me." Casey teased slightly.

The troll scoffed and wiggled his claws just a bit. "Oh, we'll see about that." And then he flinched forward.

Casey let out a squeal of excitement before she took off running. Crimson met blue for a second before the troll was after the girl, keeping his distance enough so he didn't catch her too quickly. But Casey was laughing in delight the entire time.

John stood back watching them with wide eyes as his mind tried to catch up with everything he had just witnessed. Casey had jumped into Karkat's arms. Karkat was more than ready to catch her. _Karkat let her touch his horns._ Something John had been yelled at for doing. And now... Now they were playing. They were playing like it was the easiest thing in the world.

Karkat caught the little girl as she rounded a flower bed. She screamed in delight as he lifted her into the air, tickling her sides slightly before she was planted back on the ground. John couldn't shake off the feeling that what he was seeing was familiar to him. It lingered in the back of his mind but he couldn't focus on it anymore as Casey ran to him, hiding behind his legs as Karkat came after her.

"Protect me Mr. Hero!" Casey giggled, her hands clinging to John's pants as she peeked around to see Karkat.

The troll snorted softly, standing up straight as crimson met blue. "Yeah, Mr. Hero, protect her from the evil troll."

Glancing behind him at the giggling little girl, John couldn't help the soft smirk that came to his lips. "Don't worry fair lady! The hero has come to save the day. I will protect you!" Karkat bit on his lower lip to keep from laughing as John brought his hands up to flex his muscles in a heroic pose that made the girl giggle even more.

"Oh great big hero, please do save the day." Karkat drawled sarcastically.

John's lips quirked into a smirk and without a second thought, he pounced on the troll. Karkat yelped in slight surprise as the two of them stumbled to the ground. His back hit the ground rather hard with the weight of the human atop him but Casey was giggling up a storm so he didn't let it bother him too much. John chuckled softly as he pushed off the ground just enough to meet crimson eyes.

"I do believe I win evil troll."

A challenge crossed crimson eyes as those full lips curled over sharp teeth. With a push and a tug, John landed on his back with a grunt as the troll pinned him down. Claws on his shoulders and a troll in his lap wasn't really a bad thing for the human. A flash of a different circumstance flooded John's mind and left him a little breathless with a face as red as Karkat's eyes. The troll above him stiffened suddenly, his grey cheeks tinting pink as he sat up straight, removing his hands from John's shoulders.

"Now kiss!"

Both blinked in slight surprise at the giggled words. Casey stood beside them, a smile on her face and her hands clasped together in front of her. "W-What?" John managed to mumbled out.

"Now you kiss! To make up." She nodded, a slightly serious look crossing her features. "Mama always says that you have to make up when you fight, otherwise nothing will get fixed. Kissing is a great way to make up."

Blue eyes widened slightly. "I, uh, don't think your mother should be teaching you that at your-" Karkat grabbed his chin mid sentence and planted his lips against the human's without hesitation.

"Yay!" She clapped, bouncing on her feet. "The hero saved the day!" She jumped around, spinning in a circle as she did so with a grin on her face. "He's captured the troll and they lived happily ever after."

Karkat snorted softly as he pulled back from the kiss, arching a brow at the girl. "I thought I won."

"You did! And your prize is the hero!"

"I don't think it works that way..." John mumbled softly, the flush on his cheeks brighter than ever.

"It's her story, it works however she wants." Karkat stated as he moved off of the human to get to his feet. "What happens next?"

Her eyes lit up in excitement as John got to his feet as well. "Now the troll and the hero have to fight off bad guys!"

"Of course we do." Crimson met blue and the playful smirk on those lips made John's throat dry. "Shall we Mr. Hero?"

John didn't hesitate to take the troll's hand.

* * *

All John could really do was stare. Stare in awe. Stare in surprise. Stare in admiration. Stare in... Well, just stare. Because he never even imagined seeing Karkat in such a state. He had always hoped that maybe the troll would like Casey and they would get along. He had never expected them to click like they had. Not that it was a bad thing by any means. Not at all.

Karkat sat on his bed with the little girl tucked against his side, an arm around her so he could hold up the book he was reading to her. The troll had the most serene look on his face. A look that was different from the one he usually had when he read but John couldn't place why it was so familiar to him. He sat on the bed beside the two, his shoulder pressed back against the pile of pillows, behind Karkat's arms and Casey's back. Karkat's voice was warm as he read aloud but all John could focus on was his face.

"But why did the lady troll smack the other lady troll?"

Karkat hummed softly, crimson eyes glancing down at her. "Because trolls have a different way of expressing their feelings."

John blinked, shaking his head slightly as he peered down at the book in Karkat's hands. "Uh, should you really be reading her that?"

The troll scoffed and crinkled his nose at the human. "Grubs know this stuff long before her age."

"She's not a troll, Karkat."

"Doesn't hurt to be well-educated, Egbert."

"What quad... qaudrent. Quadrant are you and Mr. Hero?" Casey asked suddenly, glancing up at the troll as she stumbled over the word.

Karkat perked a brow before glancing at John. "We are not one."

"There's not a love quadrant?"

Oh how keen children really were. Karkat had almost forgotten. He swallowed hard and shook his head. "Trolls don't love."

"That... is really sad."

"Trolls pity which could be an equivalent of love, I suppose. Either way, we do have a quadrant that is similar to that of human love."

"And you're not that one?"

Karkat's grey cheeks flushed a light red while John quickly glanced away to the wall, his cheeks matching Karkat's. "It's complicated."

Her lips pursed out into a slight pout. "Adults always say that. I asked mama why Mr. Hero wasn't my daddy yet and she said the same thing."

John nearly choked on the air and it sent him into a coughing fit. Karkat perked a brow at the human before turning back to the little girl. "Being an adult is complicated. And you know what, this probably isn't best for you." He snapped the book shut only to pause when she let out a noise of distress.

"But I want to know if the lady trolls live happily ever after."

"You want a happily ever after hm?" Karkat slipped off the bed, leaving the girl to lean back against John who was still trying to breathe properly. "I might have something." The two humans watched as Karkat dropped to his knees and flattened out so he could reach under the bed. Casey crawled to the edge of the bed and watched him as he felt about for a box he knew was under there. "Ah." When his claws met wood, he gripped the box and tugged it out from under the bed.

Karkat sat back on his hunches as he brushed off the thick layers of dust from the wooden box. Casey shifted to sit on the edge of the bed as John peered over her head in curiosity. Claws twisted around a latch that clinked under his touch before he tugged the box open. The hinges squeaked in resistance as he let the lid flop back onto the floor with a 'thunk'. Dust clouded the air at the action, making the troll and little girl cough a bit.

"Whats in it?" She asked after a cough, peering into the open box.

Karkat waved a hand before he dug into the box. Things shifted around before he grabbed what he was originally looking for. "This." He handed the white wood bound book to the little girl who took it eagerly. The wood was thin, white and had a carving of a strange looking bear on it. The paper within was held together by brown pieces of leather that looped through the pages and tied around the back of the covers. "My lusus read it to me when I was a grub."

John peered over Casey's head, blue eyes landing on the book. Something sparked in his mind but again, it was faint and not enough for his mind to linger on. He was only left with a sense a familiarity that he could not place. Casey was careful as she pulled open the wooden cover to peer at the words that were far from English.

"It's in Alternian." John glanced up at the word, watching as Karkat dug through the box a bit more.

"Karkat."

"Yeah?"

"How long have you been here?"

The troll tensed at the question. "What?"

"You're really fluent in English. I thought maybe Alternia spoke it too, but they don't do they. Trolls have their own language. So, you've been near Albion for a long time, haven't you?"

Karkat sighed softly, crimson eyes narrowing as he pulled out a strange stuffed bear from the box. "Obviously."

"How long?"

"None of your business."

John was taken back by those words. "Karkat, We're friends."

"Friends, yes. Pale? No."

And suddenly, it was like there was another wall up. A wall that had always been there but John had not even noticed. Being friends did not give the human access to other personal information about the troll. Anything that Karkat deemed personal or 'pale' was not John's business. Things had changed between them but at the same time, they had not.

"Alright."

Crimson searched blue for a few seconds before the troll smacked the bear against his palm, crinkling his nose at the dust that came out of it. He then held it out to Casey who looked at it with wide eyes.

"For me?"

"Yeah. I have no use for it anymore."

Casey was gentle as she took the brown bear in her hands. Its fur was still soft to the touch and though it was an obviously well-loved old bear, it was still in well condition. "I... Thank you. He's really soft." She hugged the bear to her chest as she nuzzled her cheek against its head. "Does he have a name?"

Karkat blinked at the question, shifting as he shut the box that was still full of other things. "Well, it was Van for a while. And then it was... Clear. He hasn't had a new name in a while."

"Poor thing. Hasn't been played with in forever." Casey held the bear out in front of her, meeting its eyes as she smiled. "Don't you worry, Mr. Bear. I'll play with you and love you enough to make up for it!"

"He'll like that." John said with a soft smile.

She grinned, nodding her head as she tucked him under her arm to pick up the book. "Will you read it to me, Karkat?"

"Sure." He shoved the box back under the bed before moving to sit beside her. They mirrored their earlier position only this time, Casey kept the bear tucked against her chest with a thumb in her mouth. John smiled softly as he let the two of them lean against him and the pile of pillows.

"This is the story of the bear that wasn't like the other bears." Karkat started as he opened up the book, letting it rest on his lap so Casey could still see the pictures. "Once upon a time there was a little bear, who wasn't like all the others. He was _brown_. Not black like his mama and papa. Or like any of the other bears in the forest. He was born different. And this is his story."

* * *

"I don't know what to say." John spoke softly as he shifted the slumbering girl in his arms. She clutched the bear Karkat had given her to her chest tightly while her head rested against John's shoulder.

Karkat shrugged, a slight smirk on his lips as he leaned against the door frame. "I don't know why you feel like you need to say something nookwhiff."

John smiled softly. "You were really good with her. Better than I... expected. I wasn't sure how you'd react. I'm sorry I didn't give you any warning."

"Not like I haven't dealt with grubs before."

"She's not a grub though. She's a human child."

"No difference."

The hero laughed softly, shaking his head. "Well, either way, I'm really happy. Maybe I can... bring her again?"

Karkat shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest. "I don't care."

The grin that came to John's face made Karkat crinkle his nose. "I'll be back after I drop her off?"

"I'll be here."

John pushed off the ground, giving Karkat a smile before he took off over the trees while cradling the sleeping girl against his chest. It had been a really fun night. More fun than he expected. Karkat was great with Casey. Something John hadn't expected. He had hoped they would get along but it was even better than he expected. The warm feeling in his chest was a little different from normal but it was just as welcomed.

Casey slept soundly against his chest as he returned to a sleeping Oakfield. He wondered if Annabelle would still be awake as he landed outside of her home. He could see a lamp on inside, so he was sure she as awake. A knock to the door proved she was. She smiled as she took the sleeping girl from the hero, glancing at the teddy bear clutched in her arms.

"She had fun?"

"We all did. I'd like to take her again some time."

"I'm sure she would love that."

John smiled. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

Annabelle returned his smile. "Of course. Enjoy the rest of your night."

John pushed off the ground and gave her a wave before he disappeared over the trees once again. He was eager to return to Karkat. Eager to have the troll all to himself. By the time he entered the cabin, Karkat was curled up on the bed with the book he had read to Casey still in his hands. Crimson eyes glanced at him in slight surprise before he closed the book and stuffed it away.

"That was quick." The troll commented, perking a brow as he grabbed a different book from the shelf above his bed.

John shrugged one shoulder as he kicked off his boots and collapsed on the bed beside Karkat. He laid his head in the troll's lap and gave him a smile that was slightly returned. "You going to read to me now?"

He snorted softly as he opened up the book in his hands, shifting to let one hand rest in soft raven hair. "Dork."

* * *

It was the occasional day when John would be at home during the day and not either, sleeping at Karkat's, playing with Casey or doing an odd job around town. So it was by mere chance, or perhaps not, that John was actually home when a series of knocks came to his door. He looked up from the books spread out on the table before him in slight surprise, wondering if he had even actually heard the knocks. After waiting a moment and the knocks came again, John knew he was not just hearing things.

The chair scrapped against the floor as he stood and rounded the table, closing a few of the books on his way. He paused at the door, wondering who could be on the other side before tugging open the wooden door. He was pleasantly surprised at seeing the blonde on the other side.

"Dave!" John gasped softly, a bright smile coming to his face.

The blonde quirked a corner of his lips in a soft smile as he nodded his head in greeting. "Sup?"

"Dave!" John didn't hesitate to push off the ground and practically tackle the other male in a hug. Dave let out a soft grunt and only moved backwards with one foot as he caught the other hero, wrapping one arm around him tightly.

"Shit Egbert, it's like you haven't seen me in a year."

John chuckled softly, both arms wrapped around the blonde's shoulders tightly as he held him close. "It has been awhile, Dave!" He pulled back slightly, his hands grasping the others shoulders as he met red through tinted glass. "What brings you by?"

Dave shrugged slightly, letting his hand linger against John's side for a few seconds before stuffing it into the pockets of his dark red pants. "Just traveling through. Thought I'd stop by and see my best bro."

The raven haired hero grinned and grabbed the others hand to pull him inside the home. "This is the best surprise! Come in, Come in."

He smiled softly as he followed the other hero into his home, kicking the door shut behind him. "Yeah, figured you were starting to miss my sweet ass."

John crinkled his nose as he stuck out in tongue in a playful way. "Oh yes, Dave. I missed your sweet ass more than anything."

The Strider smirked slightly as he sat himself down in one of the wooden chairs around the kitchen table. "Good to know it still has an effect."

He chuckled softly as he sat back down in his chair and started to pile the books back together. "So how have you been? Last I heard you were in Aurora with Jade."

Dave sighed softly, lifting a hand to tug off the goggles from his face. He rubbed the bridge of his nose for a second before ruffling his blonde hair as he placed the goggles on the table. He blinked a few times, allowing his sensitive red eyes to adjust to the dim light of the cottage before meeting John's curious blue eyes. "Sure was."

"And?" John ventured, pushing the small stack of books to the edge of the table so there wasn't anything between them.

"And it was alright. Went treasure hunting. Explored some caves. Took down some bad-ass ninja women things." He said as he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back in the chair.

John perked a brow. "You went adventuring with Jade?"

One slim shoulder lifted up. "It was alright."

He narrowed his blue eyes slightly as he leaned forward, resting his folded arms on the table. "Are you and Jade a thing now?"

The slightest of pink tints came to those pale white cheeks as Dave glanced to the table. Without his goggles, it was easier for John to see his expressions and read him even better than he normally did. "I wouldn't say that."

"Uh-Huh." He tilted his head to the side slightly. "So, you went on an adventure with her _just_ to go on an adventure? After you've been, I don't know, trying to get her attention for almost a year?"

"Damn, Egbert, you can't even let me enjoy being chill, can you?"

John giggled softly. "Nope."

The blonde released a heavy sigh as he met those blue eyes once again. "I don't know man. She's hard to read. She said she had a lot of fun with me but fuck if I even know what that means."

"Dave, the cool guy, not sure how to catch the girl. That's a first."

"Ain't just a girl, Egbert. It's Harley."

John resisted teasing his best bro even farther. "Yeah, and Jade totally likes you Dave. You like each other. You should just tell her already."

"Ain't that simple bro."

Blue eyes rolled as he leaned back in his chair. "Right. Make it more complicated than it needs to be."

Dave hummed softly as a faint smirk came to his lips. "Speaking of complicated. How's that troll of yours?"

John blinked in slight surprise at the conversation being turned on him. "Ah, um, Karkat's fine."

"Yeah? _Just_ fine?"

John flushed softly at Dave's tone of voice and quickly glanced away to the floor. "Well, Yeah. He was doing well when I left him this morning."

"You spending every night with him?"

"Pretty much... Well, Yeah, I am actually. Now that I think about it."

"Damn, Egbert. Getting some troll ass every night huh?"

The raven haired hero's cheeks flushed even darker as his eyes widened. "W-What? No! Dave! That's not what's happening at all!"

"Really? Huh, coulda fooled me." He shrugged, arching a brow at the way John shifted awkwardly in his seat. "I thought I taught you well in the art of getting ass."

"I'm not-Damnit Dave." He swallowed hard, shaking his head. "I'm not trying to do that with Karkat."

"Why not?"

John was taken back by the simple question. He glanced up in confusion, his heart still pounding a little hard and his cheeks still flushed. "What?"

Dave let out a soft sigh through his nose. "Why are you not trying to do that with Karkat? From what I hear, it's headed in that direction anyway."

"What... do you hear?"

A slight shrug. "Just stuff. Rose keeps an eye on you, you know. Since you live out here all by yourself and spend all your time with a troll. She worries."

"Worries? About what?"

"Talk to her about it."

"But Dave-"

"The point is, you got the hots for that troll. Anyone could see that."

Heat rushed over John's body, flushing his neck, face and ears. "I don't..."

"Don't deny it, bro. Just makes it sad." Dave lifted a hand to run through his blonde hair. "You got it hard for that troll and fuck if I know why."

John bit his lower lip and chewed on it for a few minutes before he lowered his eyes to the table. "Cause... Karkat's really nice. Spending time with him is... really simple, you know? We never talk about what we're gonna do together, we just are together. Sometimes we hunt and spar and sometimes we just... lay on his bed together and talk. Talk about me... or just nothing at all. Sometimes he'll give me little pieces of information about him and I... I treasure those because they're rare. I don't think I could ever explain it... But being with Karkat is just so... Natural. Like I was meant to be near him." And then John's face lit up a little, a soft smile coming to his lips. "And I introduced him to Casey."

Dave perked a brow, his eyes widening slightly. He hadn't expected John to just ramble on about his feelings. But a part of him was glad the other was. Proof they were still the best bros they had always been.

"I wasn't sure how he'd react to her. I told him all about her but... I'm still learning about him. I wasn't sure how he'd be with her. But he... It was so natural, Dave." Blue glanced up to meet red. "He was so good with her. He actually played with her and made her really happy. He knew what to do when she fell and hurt her knee. He knew how to read to her and he gave her a teddy bear that she's been clinging to ever since. I always knew Karkat was special but... He's really something else." He couldn't hide the smile that came to his face. "He... He makes me feel whole."

Red eyes widened a fraction and for a moment, Dave wasn't sure he could even breathe. He knew all about how John had always felt like he was missing something his entire life. It was a conversation they used to have a lot back when they were younger and would spend nights together pretending to be the heroes they would become. Dave never considered that John would actually find whatever it was he had been looking for. He certainly never expected the hero to find it in a troll.

"Shit, John." He gasped softly, swallowing quickly to gather his voice back. "That's quite a big deal."

The hero blinked, his face flushing in realization of what he had said. "I uh... Yeah. I never... I didn't notice it until... right now."

"You were always better at talking out your feelings than thinking about them on your own." Dave pointed out, his eyes still a little wide.

"Y-Yeah..." John swallowed hard, his chest filled with warmth as he folded his arms on the table. "Shit, Dave."

The blonde couldn't help the soft snort of laughter that came from his nose. "Yeah, Dude. You've got it hard."

"I... What do I do?" He whispered softly, looking at the other hero with a slight sense of panic filling his face.

"First off, relax. It's not like anything has changed, you've just come to realize your feelings. They've always been there, dude. Second," he shrugged, "figure out if he feels the same."

"It's not that simple. Trolls... are so complicated, Dave. I finally got to be his friend. I don't want to mess that up."

"Friends ain't all you wanna be though."

"I... I'm okay with being friends. I mean, I hope that we do become closer and he opens up to me more but I... Dave really I just... Want to be near him."

"Damn." The blonde drew out the word. "You have it super bad for him."

"Fuck."

Dave winced at the thud John's forehead made when it hit the table. The blonde got to his feet and rounded the table to place a hand on the others back. "It'll be alright. So you wanna mack on your friend, we'll figure something out."

John whined softly as he curled his arms around his head. "We already do that." He mumbled softly.

Dave perked an eyebrow. "You what?"

A blue eye peeked out from his folded arms. "We kiss. A lot."

"Is that a troll thing?"

"I... Don't know actually."

"Alright, dude." Dave grabbed a chair and pulled it to John's side before he plopped his butt into it. "We need to jam." He rubbed a hand over John's back gently as he tried to form what he wanted to say in his head. "I don't know a thing about trolls but I know enough about you to figure this shit out. You guys kiss? Like what kind of kissing? Pecks like how Jade and Roxy kiss you? Or more than that?"

John lifted his head slightly, letting his cheek rest on his folded arms as he met red eyes. "It's nothing like when Jade and Roxy kiss me. I mean, sometimes its little pecks like that but it doesn't feel the same."

"Cause you got it for him."

"Yeah, probably..." He mumbled softly.

"Kay, so, what kind of macking then?"

John's cheeks flushed slightly. "Sometimes... its just kissing and then sometimes... it gets to be a little more than that? Like, tongue. Though that hasn't happened in a while. Really, the hardcore stuff used to happen back when he was trying to be black with me. Now that we're friends, it's more... just sweet kisses? But they don't _feel_ sweet. They burn and I... Usually want more."

"You initiate them?"

"He usually does."

Dave perked a brow. "He does?"

"Yeah, Like when I brought Casey over. She told us to kiss and makeup cause we were play fighting to amuse her and I wasn't sure what to do but he just kissed me anyway. Right in front of her. And it was..." He swallowed hard. "It was hot."

A slight smirk came to Dave's face. He still wasn't sure how he felt about this troll but it was nice to see John actually into someone. He wanted to be happy for his bro but he still wasn't sure if he should be or not. "Right, kissing in front of a little girl is totally hot."

"You know what I mean." John hissed softly.

Dave nodded, letting his hand still on the arch of John's back. "Yeah, bro, I do. When else has he kissed you? Recently. As friends."

"We kiss goodbye every morning. Usually just little pecks. I kiss him first sometimes. Cause it's just routine now. He's the one who kisses me at random times."

"Huh. I wonder if that's a troll thing. You ask Rose?"

His cheeks flushed again as he shifted to hide his face in his folded arms. "I really don't want to ask her. So I've done some research. I haven't figured anything out yet. Just maybe... That he's pale for me."

"The fuck does that mean?"

John inhaled deeply as he lifted his head, resting his chin on his arms as he stared at the books on the table. "The pale quadrant for trolls is basically... what you and I are."

Blonde eyebrows shot up in slight alarm. "Fuck that. He can't have you."

He chuckled softly, glancing at the blonde beside him. "He's not gonna take your place, Dave. That should be obvious."

"I don't know, man. You've been spending a lot of time with him."

John sat up slightly, blinking at his best bro. "You can't seriously be worried that Karkat would take your place. You're Dave motherfucking Strider. You can't be replaced."

"Damn fucking right I can't." He huffed slightly, crossing his arms over his chest as he peered down at the other hero.

"Dave." John spoke softly, sitting up straight as he leaned toward the other. "Were you really worried about that?"

Fuck if the blonde couldn't ignore those blue eyes. He let out a soft sigh, his shoulder slumping as he glanced away. "I wouldn't say worried. Just concerned I guess. Ever since you met that troll you hardly visit any of us anymore. Only time we see you is if we come here."

Blue eyes widened slightly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

Dave shook his head, cutting off the other male. "Well all understand. As long as your happy, we don't mind really."

"And by we, you mean all the others except for you."

The blonde grit his teeth as the stared at the wall. Sometimes he really wished the dork couldn't read him so well. "Look, I want to be happy for you. I just don't know if I should be or not. I don't know this troll. I don't know if he's going to hurt you or what. Hell, he already hurt you once."

"That was my fault!"

"I don't care. He hurt you enough to make you cry and that bothers the fuck out of me, John. But I'm putting that shit aside because you're happy. But you have been neglecting the rest of us. Especially me."

"I'm sorry, Dave... I didn't..."

"I know. You didn't mean to." He shrugged, shifting to meet those sad blue eyes. "Now that I know you're enamored with the troll, I get it. So I forgive you. Just don't let it happen again."

"I won't. I've missed you, Dave. I have. But sometimes the days just get away from me and I don't even realize how much time as passed."

He nodded. "You want to make it up to me?"

"Yes! Of course."

A soft smirk curled onto his lips. "Come on an adventure with me. Like we used to."

John's face lit up. "Really? Like we used to?"

"Yup. One of those good old-fashioned Strider and Egbert adventures. Been a while since we've done that."

"That's a great idea!" And then his face fell slightly. "But... Um... What about Karkat?"

"What about him?"

"Well, I just... When we leave on our adventures, we never know when we're coming back. And, I mean, I know he'll be okay with me leaving for a while but he always wants to know when to expect me back."

"Damn, Egbert. It's like he's your wife or something." The flush that came to those cheeks made Dave smirk. "How about a month? We go for a month. It's a good amount of time for adventures but it's enough that he won't miss you too much."

John nodded in agreement. "He should come with us sometime. Not this time." He quickly added when Dave sent him a glare. "But sometime later. Karkat's a really skilled fighter. I bet you two would get along really well. He's a lot of fun to go on quests with."

"You've quested with him?"

"Just once. Cause he refused to let me leave without him. He wanted to see the Brightwall Academy. But we fought Balverines together. It was when you were in Aurora with Jade. You should have seem him, Dave. He was so awesome."

"Fuck you got it bad."

"Shut up." He mumbled softly. "He really is a skilled fighter and hunter. He doesn't even use any weapons. Just his claws and teeth. It's really cool."

"If he's that cool, I guess I need to see him for myself, yeah?"

John blinked before a smile came to his face. "That's a great idea! I want him to meet everyone. Casey was a good start but I really want you to meet him too. I have to go tell him about our trip anyway. You can just come with me." He blinked. "Or maybe I should give him some warning..."

"Nah, fuck that. You can pack up now and we'll go see him when night falls. Then we can head out."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

Dave shrugged. "Why not? You didn't give him any warning with Casey. How am I different?"

"I guess you have a point." John moved to his feet, giving Dave a soft smile. "Help me pack?"

Dave moved to his feet as well. "Sure."

* * *

With his hammer attached to his back, his pistols attached to his belt and a leather satchel over his shoulder, John was ready for wherever their adventures may take them. Though he was really anxious to tell Karkat about his trip. Of course he wanted to go adventuring with Dave but he wasn't sure he really wanted to leave Karkat behind. Not that he had a choice. He just wasn't sure how he'd feel not seeing Karkat for such a long time. Oh he really did have it bad, didn't he?

"You ready?" Dave asked softly, adjusting the black bag over his shoulder, tucked under his cape, a new adjustment to his hero garb.

"Are we flying?"

A blonde eyebrow twitched. "Do we have to?"

"You know it's faster, Dave. Much faster than walking, or side stepping. Not as fast as Jade's stuff but still."

"At least Jade's is instant. Fuck flying."

"Aw, Don't be a baby, Dave. Even Karkat flew with me without a fuss."

Dave's lips twitched. "You took him flying?"

"Well, Yeah." John smiled fondly at the memory. "He was a scaredy cat like you but he got over it after a while." He pushed off the ground gently so he could hover in the air a few feet above. "It was a lot of fun actually."

"Fuck, Egbert. Hitting me in the bro feels like that." He sighed softly, adjusting the goggles on his face. "Fine, Whatever. Let's do this."

A grin split across the hero's face as he allowed the wind to adjust and circle around his red clad best friend. Dave never needed to touch John like everyone else. John's wid had become s accustomed to having the blonde around that it had just adjusted to include him along with John. In a few seconds, Dave lifted into the air effortlessly, his cape flopping about as he hovered with John.

"It's been a while since we've flown together, Dave."

"Yeah, I was hoping to keep it that way." He said through gritted teeth, his hands fisting at his sides.

John reached forward, rubbing his hands over Dave's arms gently. "You need to relax, remember? The wind will take care of you. You trust me don't you?"

Red met blue and Dave finally relaxed just a bit. "Right. We going or what?"

John chuckled softly before leading them higher in the air. Dave flinched, but forced himself to relax in the hold of the wind. It had been years since he let the wind caress him and yet it was just as familiar and welcoming as it always had been. It made Dave feel better. The wind still remembered him and that meant he was still as important to John as he always had been.

The wind adjusted and pushed them forward, over the trees and out of Oakfield. Dave wasn't really sure what to expect as they flew. He'd never seen a troll in his life even though he knew enough about this particular troll to have a few ideas. He'd also never bothered to wander into Alternia. He couldn't help but be a little curious about the place. John had told him Karkat didn't live too far into the country but when they passed through into it, Dave could feel the change in the air and it gave him chills.

The sun was just starting to set as their feet landed on the ground between rows of purple flowers. Dave took a moment to look around while John went to Karkat's door to give it a few knocks. With a smile on his face, John waited for the troll to answer. It didn't take long. The door opened only a minute after he knocked to reveal a recently woken troll. John could tell by the messy state his hair was in.

"Hi Karkat!" He reached forward, running his fingers through the messy hair to flatten it just a bit. "Good night."

"Mmm." Karkat mumbled, letting his crimson eyes slip shut as he leaned his head into John's touch. "Night."

"You slept late."

"I sleep less than I did before I met you." A slit of crimson glared softly at him. "You're early."

"Am I?" He tilted his head slightly, letting his fingers linger in that soft black hair. "Sorry, I was kind of excited. I, um, brought someone to meet you?"

Crimson eyes snapped open. "What?"

John removed his hands from the other's hair and rubbed them against his sides sheepishly as he glanced behind him at Dave. "I brought Dave with me."

Karkat stiffened, his blood going cold when those crimson eyes met fiery red. He felt the hair on the back of his neck pickle and his lips started to curl over his sharp teeth.

John quickly stepped between them, trying to catch Karkat's gaze as he started to speak. "We're going adventuring for a month, so I wanted to come by and see you before we left." That was all he needed to say for those eyes to meet his. He bit his lip, shrinking back some. "I thought... It'd be a good chance for you two to meet. Since he's my best bro and you're... Important to me. I wanted you guys to meet."

Karkat took a deep breath, trying to allow those words to sooth him. This was important to John so Karkat was willing to put aside his differences. "You're leaving?"

"Just for a month. Dave and I used to go adventuring all the time and we haven't in a while. So I agreed to go with him. If that's alright?"

"What point is there in asking him?" Dave cut in, slipping up beside John as an arm went around his shoulders. "Not like he's your wife or something Egbert."

John blinked, his cheeks flushing slightly. "I still care what he thinks, Dave."

"I don't give a flying fucktit what you do." Karkat hissed softly, his claws gripping at his thighs to keep him in line.

"Really?" Blue met crimson with slight disappointment that made Karkat cringe slightly. Ever since he met Casey, things between them had been different. He just wasn't sure why they had been different. Just that they were.

The troll let out a soft sigh and rolled his eyes. "Not the first time you've gone off on adventures and shit. I expect it every once in a while."

John smiled softly, nodding. "I hope, that maybe next time you'll come with us?"

Both Karkat and Dave flinched at the suggestion. "No." They spoke at the same time earning a glare each.

"Fuck that shit, man." Dave said with a shrug, eyeing Karkat up and down from behind his tinted goggles. "No trolls on the Strider express."

"Dave." John glared at him softly. "That's really mean."

"Ain't mean if it's true, bro."

Karkat let out a deep hiss, his lips curling back in a snarl. "The fuck is your problem."

"Problem? What problem? No problems here." Dave pulled away from John to step toward Karkat, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Just a grubby fucking troll taking up all my best bros time."

"Uh Dave-"

"Grubby?" Karkat hissed, his eyes narrowing as black started to overtake the crimson. "What lumpsquirting vapid douchebaggary shit are you on?"

"No need to get all up in my shit, trollbro. Just stating the motherfucking truth."

That was all it took. Karkat hissed and it was the only warning Dave got before the troll was gone, in the air and then on him. John gasped, grabbing Karkat quickly to pull him off the other hero. Dave got a swipe of claws to the cheek before John was able to pull the troll away, holding him tightly around his waist.

"K-Karkat, no. Don't fight. Guys, please don't fight." John mumbled as he tried to hold the wiggling troll in his arms steady.

"Fuck." Dave brushed the back of his hand over the three bleeding claw marks on his cheek, smearing the blood a bit. "Cheap shot, asshole."

"You started it, you taintchafing undulating groinhumper." Karkat hissed, claws digging into John's arms. "Let me go, John."

"No. I don't want you two fighting. Please."

"Let him go, Egbert. Let me see if he's as good of a fighter as you say he is."

Blue eyes widened. "The hell is wrong with you two?! No. No fighting!" He tightened his arms around Karkat's middle, nuzzling his face against his hair gently. "Either you stop this or I'm going to grab your horns." He whispered softly. Karkat stiffened, his grey cheeks tinting red at the whispered words that Dave couldn't hear. "And you." Angry blue met red. "Be nice, Dave. Karkat is my friend. I don't know why you're being such an ass to him but if you don't stop, I'm not going on this adventure with you."

"The hell, Egbert?"

"You're being mean for no reason!" He snapped softly, slowly loosening his arms around Karkat's middle. "Karkat didn't do anything to you."

The troll quickly spun around in John's arms and gave him a good shove, making the human stumble slightly away from him. Blue eyes widened in surprise as the troll hissed at him. "You dare threaten me with ashen feelings?!"

"I-What?"

"That quadrant is filled you bitchshitting lumpsquirting column of hot holy fuck you."

John flinched, his heart clenching at those words. It'd been a long time since Karkat had spoken to him like that. "I'm not trying to fill anything Karkat! I'm just trying to keep my two friends from hurting each other. If that's a quadrant, I'm sorry, but that's not what I'm trying to do."

"Like he'd want to fill a quadrant with you anyway."

"Dave!"

"Why don't you take that seedflaphumping sword and shove it so far up your grubshitting repulsive shitsack of an ass that your eyes pop out of your thick useless thinkpan!"

A faint smirk came to Dave's lips. "Yeah, Cause I'm the only one around here that needs _something_ shoved up his ass." And the lewd way he spoke it made both of the other males flush.

John quickly rounded Karkat, putting himself between the two. "I'm sorry, Karkat. I don't know what his problem is." He spoke softly, grasping the trolls shoulders as he forced the other to meet his eyes. "I thought he'd be an adult about meeting you but I guess I was wrong. Forgive me?"

The troll relaxed slightly as he let out a soft sigh. "Yeah. Whatever. He's an asshole."

"I heard that, fucker."

Karkat's lips curled up over his teeth but before he could even do anything, John planted his lips against the trolls. Karkat was taken back for a second but accepted the kiss willingly, not missing the chance to send a glare at the slightly surprised Strider. John pulled back after a few seconds, a soft smile on his face as he met crimson. "He's not normally like this. I think he's just upset about me not spending time with him and blaming you for it. So, is it okay if I go with him?"

The troll crinkled his nose. "Do what you want, John. I don't care."

"But I don't want you to be mad at me if I go."

He sighed softly. "I'm not mad at you. I'm pissed off at him. But not you. Just fucking go already." He failed to mention that it all came back to the weird sudden black-like hate he had for the blonde.

"So... We're okay then?"

"Yes, John." He sighed softly, a smile tugging at his lips as he rolled his eyes. "We're fine."

"Great!" He planted another kiss to Karkat's lips before engulfing the troll in a tight hug. Crimson met red over John's shoulder and the glare between the two could have set the world on fire. "I'll see you in a month?" He said when he pulled back, keeping a hold of his shoulders.

"Yeah. I'll be here."

"Take care of yourself. I'll bring back presents."

"Yeah, Yeah." Karkat couldn't hold back the soft smile any longer. "Get your ass out of here before I change my mind."

"Right!" Another kiss to a flushed grey cheek and John released the troll. "Bye Karkat."

"Mhm. Bye." He gave a slight wave to John as he lifted into the air, not wasting time and bringing Dave with him. The blonde hero grit his teeth at the sudden weightless feeling but held his ground while crimson eyes were on him.

John gave Karkat one last wave before they flew into the air and over the trees. "Why did you have to be such an ass, Dave?" John didn't waste time in confronting his friend.

The blonde gave a shrug. "I don't know. He was kinda fun to piss off. I was just messing with him really."

John perked a brow, glancing at the other. "Well, it was still kind of mean. I haven't seen him react that way to anyone since... well since he met me." He blinked. "Huh. Maybe he'd black for you."

"Fuck does that mean?"

"Um, it's like, in hate with you." He pouted softly. "He better not be. I don't need him macking on you too."

"Aw hell no, Egbert. That troll ain't coming within a hundred feet of me with those lips. I'd like to keep this handsome face thanks. Not have it eaten off."

John chuckled softly, pointing at the claw marks on his cheeks that were already healing. "He got you good. He might not be in hate with you. You were an ass to him."

"It was fun." He shrugged innocently. "I had some pent up frustration towards him that I needed to get out. Won't happen again. I feel better now."

"That was the best first meeting ever." John said sarcastically, earning a slight smirk from the blonde.

"Totally was."

He shook his head, laughing slightly. "Alright, where do you want to go first?"

"I don't know man. Wherever the wind takes us."

John snorted softly. "That was really corny, Dave."

"Shut up, bro. You're ruining the mood."

John obeyed and the two of them flew off into the night air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you guys enjoyed this. I'll update when I can. Next chapter brings in another troll! How exciting! 
> 
> Remember to let me know what you thought! Kudos are great but you can only kudo a chapter fic once, so comments are always welcomed! I tend to reply to them. 
> 
> Thanks again guys. You're the best!
> 
> ~Addy~


	11. Month 6 - November - Adventures With Best Bros

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can not believe I finished this. I am so happy haha. I thought it would take forever cause this is basically a bit of a filler but I'm rather happy with it. There's a few links below for you guys.
> 
> [Here](http://the-orgasmic-seke.tumblr.com/post/97684297450/so-i-thought-this-would-be-very-helpful-this-is) is a map of Albion that I use for this story.
> 
> And [here](http://img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20101007214031/fable/images/9/95/Assassins_FableIII.jpg) are what Sand Furies looks like.
> 
> And you should listen to [this](http://youtu.be/sCbS-TLEoRA) song.
> 
> (Please excuse any spelling mistakes, the red was horrible in this. I hope I got everything.)

Bowerstone looked the same as it ever had to the blue clad hero. Though it had been months since he last visited the place he once called home; He was happy to see it had not changed all that much. The peaked sunlight hit the rooftops just right, casting the town in a lovely glow that brought a smile to John's face. The cobblestone made a click under his boots once his feet were firmly on the ground and he felt nostalgia surround him. It was nice to visit Bowerstone and he was excited to see Rose and Roxy.

"Remind me again why we're fucking here?" Dave drawled, his voice light as he rolled his stiff shoulders.

"You're the one who said I'd been ignoring my friends. So I thought coming to Bowerstone first would be a great start. I can see Rose and Roxy. And then we can head to the castle and go to Aurora through the cullis gate. You said Dirk is there with Jake and Jade."

Dave groaned softly, running a hand through his blonde hair as he started walking. "Those aren't adventures."

Blue eyes rolled as he followed beside his best bro. "Aurora is a perfect place for adventures. You can show me around. Search some caves and stuff."

He grunted softly. "Fair deal."

A grin spread to his lips. "Plus, you get to see Jade again." He teased softly with a nudge to the time hero's side.

The faint flush on pale cheeks wasn't all that easy to see but John picked up on it and smiled a bit more. Dave refused to say a word after that but John didn't mind. He was happy to know that his bro was finally trying to settle down with one girl. And he was even happier that the girl happened to be Jade. He, personally, thought the two of them were great together. Plus, Dirk had Jake now. Roxy and Jane had one another. Rose had... well John wasn't sure what Rose had with Kanaya but every time the normally stoic woman spoke about the seamstress, there was a light blush on her cheeks. And John had... Well, He had Karkat.

"It's been ages since I've seen Roxy." John stated softly, glancing up at the Lalonde home as they neared it. "Every time I've come by, she was off on an adventure with Jane."

"She's missed you bro. Be prepared."

A dark eyebrow arched. "Prepared? Prepared for what?"

"Ah, you know how she is."

"Johnny-Boy!" The high-pitched squeal made Dave winced slightly and he quickly sidestepped to avoid the flash of pink that flew past him and into John.

The windy hero stumbled slightly at the sudden weight but caught the woman, unable to hold back a laugh. Roxy giggled, her arms wrapped tightly around the taller hero. "Hi Roxy!"

"It's been ages!" She quickly pulled back before slapping her palms to his cheeks and squished his face together. "You grew on me!"

John chuckled softly, his blue eyes sparkling with amusement as the blonde looked him over. Roxy was a good hand span shorter than John now but even in her short stature, she wasn't to ever be underestimated. She was strong as the toned muscles of her arms proved. Her blonde hair was short and framed her face while the ends fanned out. Her eyes were a mesmerizing pink, her nose sharp, her lips full and all around, John always thought she was a pretty woman. She wore her hero garb that happened to be as pink as her eyes. A tunic similar to John's covered her torso though it bore no sleeves. The hood was normal, like Dave's but seemed to spike out just a bit more. She wore thin, form-fitting dark red leggings covered by black boots that came almost to her knee. Her forearms were covered in pink sleeves that came from her elbow to cover her hands just a bit. Her dark blue symbol was stitched into the front of her tunic much like everyone else's. Her symbol was similar to Jade's but was easy to tell apart.

"You look as lovely as ever."

"Aw, you sweet thing you." She leaned up, planting a firm yet sloppy kiss against his lips that he really should have been used to. He flushed slightly, smiling as she pulled back. "Hmmm, what's this?" Her pink eyes narrowed slightly as she leaned in closer, searching his face something she couldn't seem to find.

"What?" John asked softly, perking a brow in confusion.

"You used to blush like a virgin when I did that." Then her eyes widened, a grin coming to her lips as she pulled back. "My Johnny ain't a virgin no more!"

"Jeeze! Roxy!" John gasped, glancing around at the slight attention they received at her outburst. He grabbed her shoulders and leaned in closer as Dave snickered at his side. "I-I still am. Jeeze."

"Aw, really?"

"Yeah, still got his cheery." Dave snuck in, a faint smirk curling to his lips as he slipped an arm around John's shoulders. "Though, dude's got a troll that's been trying to get in his pants."

"What." John squeaked softly.

"A troll?!" Roxy clapped her hands, a gasp coming from her lips as she bounced slightly. "You got yourself a troll, Johnny?! Why, like, no one tells me shit around here! What's her name?! Is she pretty?!" She suddenly grabbed John's wrist and started to tug him back toward their home where she had left the door wide open. "Oh you gotta tell me everything. Gossip with me, Johnny. Tell me _everything_!"

"Ah,But-"

"Yeah, John." Dave's voice proved he was obviously amused as he followed the two into the Lalonde home. "Tell her all about Karkat."

"Hello boys." Rose spoke softly, gaining their attention. She sat elegantly on the edge of the couch, a book in her hands as she glanced up at them. "Lovely to see you both."

"You too Lalonde." Dave waved a hand at her before he plopped himself down right beside her.

"Rosie!" Roxy snapped, releasing John to stomp up to her sister. "Why didn't you tell me about Johnny's troll?"

Purple met pink. "I thought it would be better to hear from him."

"Oh." She blinked before turning back to John, her eyes narrowed as she pointed a finger at him. "Alright Johnny-boy. Sit that cute ass down and tell me all about this troll lover of yours."

"He's not... He's not my lover, Roxy."

" _He_?!" And just the way she said it made a shiver go down John's spine. Her pink eyes sparkled with life and the smile that curled to her lips made Dave and Rose wish they had a camera.

"No! No, Roxy, it's not... It isn't like that!" John was quick to try to reconcile but well, he was much too late.

"My Johnny-Boy!" She tackled him once again, wrapping her arms around his shoulders as she pulled his face into her rather well endowed breasts. She pet his head much like a mother would as she giggled. "You've grown up! It's about time. Oh, I always knew it. I did, didn't I Rosie? I told you a long time ago!"

"You most certainly did, Roxy."

John gasped for breath as he pushed her away from him enough to pull his face out of her breasts. "R-Roxy. What are you talking about?"

"I always said you'd fall for a guy."

"I always thought that was your hopeful wishing, Rox." Dave said offhandedly.

"Aw, well, I was still right!" Then she turned back to John. "So, tell me about him! Tell me _all_ about him! I want to know everything." As she spoke, she tugged John to sit down at one of the kitchen chairs before she planted herself beside him. She leaned an elbow on the table that she curled against her neck so she could give the hero her full attention.

"I... Um..." John glanced at Rose and Dave for help but both were watching him as intently as Roxy was. With a soft sigh, he allowed his shoulders to relax though he was sure the blush on his cheeks wasn't going to go anywhere any time soon. "First off, He's not my lover."

"Yet."

Purple and blue cut at Dave making the hero only shrug.

Roxy waved a hand in dismissal. "Continue."

"Right... Um, Anyway. His name is Karkat. He's a troll, as you already know. I met him by chance a few months back. We've spent a lot of time together since then. He um, he's part of the reason I moved to Oakfield. He's really cool. We get along really well and I just, I really like spending time with him."

Roxy gave John a good look over, pink eyes hesitating over the way his cheeks flush, the way his eyes filled with light and the way his lips curled into a smile. Then she took note of the way his hands curled together in his lap and his eyes looked everywhere but at her. She hummed softly, sitting up straight as a smile came to her lips. "Well he sounds lovely, Johnny. What's he look like?"

"Um, he's a little taller than me. And he has grey skin. And really deep crimson eyes. Like deeper than Dave's. And the whites of his eyes are yellow and it's actually pretty cool. And all of his teeth are really sharp fangs. He has shaggy black hair, like almost the same color as mine but a bit darker and," He raised to hand to his head to show what he spoke, "he has these two short horns right here. They're the same color as candy corn and it's kinda cute." He brought his hands back down and wiggled his fingers as he looked at them. "And he has long black claws that are always there but they're not really dangerous unless he makes them that way. And... he's warm. Really warm most of the time."

"He's sounds cute."

"He is. He really is."

Roxy's smile grew at his response. "I'm happy for you Johnny! You started wooing the boy yet?"

His cheeks flushed a bit darker and he quickly shook his head. "No, I, Um, We're friends and I'm happy with that."

She gave a concerned look that she glanced at Rose who only nodded. Knowing that her younger sister knew way more about the situation than she did, Roxy chose to leave it at that. "Well, as long as you're happy. That's all any of us could want." She smiled, slapped a hand on John's back and then placed a kiss to his cheek. "Bring him by sometime. I'd love to meet him."

"We all would." Rose added.

"I did." Dave pointed out.

Roxy's gasp was loud enough to fill the room. "You lucky fucker!" She was quickly on her feet and jumped into Dave's lap to straddle him. "What was he like?!" She grasped his collar, pulling him close to her face. "Were you an ass to him?"

"The fuck makes you ask that?"

"You're a Strider!" She laughed softly though her eyes held no amusement. "Striders have never been alright with people moving in on their territory."

"Talking shit there Rox."

"Actually." John cut in, shifting to his feet to fully face the other three who watched him. "You did start shit with him, Dave."

"Damn, bro, we went over that."

"Honestly." Rose sighed softly shaking her head slightly. "I wish I could say I was surprised."

"The fuck Lalondes."

"Be nice to the troll!" Roxy snapped suddenly, pressing her forehead to Dave's as she peered into his eyes through his goggles. "Troll makes Johnny happy. Johnny hasn't been truly happy like ever. Don't fuck it up."

Dave stiffened slightly, his eyes narrowing. "I didn't fuck anything up. I was just testing him. Seeing how he reacted to shit. Dudes got a temper."

"You provoked him." John pointed out.

"Yeah, and I said I was sorry. He's fun to mess with. If I recall, you said the same thing a while ago about him."

"But he's Johnny's troll to mess with." Roxy stated. "Not yours. We clear, Strider?"

"Crystal, Lalonde."

"Good!" Her bright smile was back as she slipped off his lap to stand.

"I am a bit jealous that you've met him." Rose spoke softly, purple eyes glancing from Dave to John.

"Well, I wanted you to be the first, Rose. I did. But well... Dave was already there and we decided to go adventuring and I had to tell Karkat and of course Dave came with me. I don't think Karkat likes him. Like, at all."

Dave snorted softly, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned back into the couch. "Feelings mutual."

"You do realize 'messing' with him is a form of troll flirting, Dave."

"I wasn't flirting with any one." He snapped flatly. "Troll ain't my type."

"You may be his."

Dave just rolled his eyes behind his goggles. "If his hate/love shit type was John before, I highly doubt I'm on that level. Ain't even close."

"I'm just saying, be careful. He may take it that way and I doubt John would be okay with such a thing."

"I ain't okay with that shit so yeah. I got it Lalonde. I'll be a good little boy from now on so can we fucking move on already?"

Roxy glanced between the three younger heroes, taking in John's stiff movements, Rose's soft glare and Dave's avoidance of it all. She took a deep breath and then suddenly clapped her hands. "Alright. Dave, you know what to do. Rose, cut the Strider some slack and John." She turned to him with a soft smile. "Considering that Troll still lets you near him is a good sign. Trolls don't open up that easily. I know a little about them and that fact that you've landed yourself one is something to be happy about. You're happy, enjoy it. You deserve it." She nodded to herself. "Who wants lunch?"

And just like that, the atmosphere in the room shifted. The three heroes relaxed at Roxy's suggestion. She was always good at that. Shifting the tension and helping everyone avoid fighting. It was a great skill to have between the eight vastly different heroes. She was the best mediator any of them could have ever asked for.

"Lunch sounds lovely." Rose spoke softly.

"Yeah." Dave nodded in agreement.

John just smiled softly, nodding at Roxy with a grateful expression that she returned with a bright smile.

* * *

Bowerstone Castle, once known as Castle Fairfax, was a tall looming structure that shadowed most of Industrial and part of the Market and Old Town. The entrance of the castle was surrounded with trees, the path a long winding stone street with golden fence on either side, separating the rest of Bowerstone from the castle. The gates to the castle were always left open for anyone who may wish to visit. Though Albion no longer bore a king, it had it's heroes. Eight heroes who looked after the castle and kept the land alive. The castle was now only a symbol and housed a good slice of the population of Bowerstone within it.

Long ago, after the last king died, the heroes agreed to keep the Castle filled with life, keep the jobs the people of the castle had to keep Albion afloat and alive. Every once in a while, a hero would stop by to check on it and really, the castle had become a small town on its own. The beautiful structure thrived and it made the heroes happy to know the ancient building that had once almost ended their line was still standing.

"Damn this place is huge." Dave mumbled, shoving his hands into his pockets as he moved past the sightseeing blue clad hero. "Come on, let's get going."

John swallowed before he quickly moved to follow his best bro. They moved up the set of stairs into the beautifully decorated castle. Red and gold everywhere. The colors of Albion. Maids, butlers and other works pausing in their jobs to greet the heroes as they made their way through the castle. Children scurried about, laughing and giving the old building life. It was nice, so John thought. After the old king had died, the castle had lost life but it was nice to see it had returned.

The two heroes slipped out the large double doors that led to the back gardens of the castle. Trees, bushes and flowers covered the area that overlooked Industrial and the sea. But they were not alone. There were a few statues scattered about, along with benches and gazebos for those who wished to rest in the beautiful garden. In the center of the gardens stood the Tomb. It was a tall white structure with a staircase that led underground before it. Within was the tombs. The tombs of the kings and heroes that fell before them.

John followed beside Dave as they descended into the tombs, the large doors shutting behind them. The stone path was lit with candles that always remained lit, like the ones in the reliquary. Magic as always. The path lead to a large underground opening. Statues of fallen kings and heroes circled the room as they stepped up to the large circle in the middle of the floor.

John paused behind Dave as the male kicked at the unlit cullis gate for a moment. He let out a faint grunt before he gave it one more good kick. The small circle lit to life with a strange white pillar of light. Then, Dave moved to the small map that sat on a platform beside the gate. He pressed a finger tip to the place they wished to go and suddenly the map lit to life and the white cullis gate shifted into a soft brown color.

"Let's go." Dave stated, throwing a glance at John before he stepped into the light and immediately disappeared. John was quick to follow, stepping into the light that suddenly surrounded him. Traveling by cullis gate was one of the easiest ways of travel. But they had been hard to come by for a long time. None of the heroes had the power to actually build one of their own aside from Jade who was still working on fine tuning her machines. The gate Dave and John used was an ancient one, left from the old kingdom.

John stumbled slightly when the light around him vanished and he was left in a completely different world. The sun was bright, the air was warm and the scent was strange. The hero inhaled deeply, narrowing his eyes against the bright sun as he stepped off the cullis gate platform. It had been a few years since he'd been to Aurora and he'd almost forgotten how warm it was. He was glad he'd opted for his short sleeved hero garb but even that was starting to stick to his skin.

"Jade's probably in town." Dave stated, tugging his hood over his blonde hair against the warm sun. The cullis gate left them in the middle of the desert with giant golden sand dunes around them and random chunks of chiseled stone.

"Yeah?" John pulled the hood over his head as well. The wind was foreign to him here, so flying was not an option to him. Sure, it bent and curved to his will but not enough for him to feel safe using it. It was still strange and tentative to him. He was not a child of Aurora like Jake and Jade, thus the wind was weary of him. "Let's head out then."

Dave gave him a nod and then the two of them were off, following an old well-worn path. Sand had blown over it but there was an obvious path between the huge dunes that loomed over them. The trip took a little more than an hour and by the time the giant statue could be seen, John was relieved. He was not used to traveling by foot.

A large stone staircase lead to the entrance of the city of Aurora which was a large door, settled between two large stone hands that were in the shape of a triangle. Above the hands was a large head that could be seen for miles. The heroes made through way through the large door, thankful for the sudden coolness of the darkness that greeted them. Pushing the hoods from their heads, they moved through the darkness to come out on the other side of the large statue.

From the top of the entrance the entire city of Aurora could be seen, spread out before them. The city had not changed much since John had last visited but it was pleasant to see. The strange building, the sand, the warm air. It was so vastly different from Albion and yet, it was still part of Albion.

They wasted no time in descending from the entrance, following the slightly steep path that lead toward the center of the city. Villagers greeted them. With their dark skin and bright smiles, always happy to see another hero. The atmosphere was similar to a town in Albion though the air was a bit more relaxed. The salty sea that brushed against the edge of the city could be smelled through-out, leaving the air a little sticky in the head but it was refreshing. Not as sticky as Bloodstone but still warm and different. Considering it was nearing winter in Albion, the heat was an interesting change.

"She's probably in the temple." Dave suddenly spoke, gaining John's attention from staring at everything around him.

"The temple?"

Dave flicked a hand at the large building atop a hill that could be seen from almost everywhere in Aurora. "She spends a lot of time with the high priestess lately."

John hummed. "I wonder why."

"Fuck if I know." Dave said with a shrug and left it at that.

John was fine with leaving the conversation at that as they moved through Aurora. Once they reached the main center of the city, the market, the smells in the air shifted. The air filled with different spices, meats and perfumes that made John smile. He gave waves to a few citizens that were happy to return them. The market was rather packed with people and Dave moved through them effortlessly, without bumping into one. But John was not as elegant. He bumped shoulders with at least five people and though he he was quick to apologize they only gave him smiles and continued on their ways.

"Dude, hurry your ass up." Dave spoke, his body twisted toward John as he had his feet planted on two different step levels.

"Sorry! Sorry!" John slipped past a few more people as he hurried to the staircase that lead to the temple. He gave Dave a bright smile that made the red clad hero just roll his eyes and started up the stairs, a faint smile gracing his pale lips.

By the time they reached the top of the stairs, Jade was already waiting with a tall thin woman beside her. The woman wore a strange head-dress that proved she was the high priestess Dave spoke of.

"Dave! John!" Jade exclaimed as they came forward and she ran to meet them. "Welcome to Aurora!" She jumped forward, wrapping one arm around each boy as she pulled them in for a tight hug. Each wrapped an arm around her as well, giving her back a pat.

"Thanks, Jade." John said with a grin.

"Rose told me you guys were coming." She stated as she pulled away, tucking her hands behind her back as she grinned at them.

"Aw, really? I wanted to surprise you." John deflated slightly.

"It's still a surprise!" Jade was quick to reconcile. "You actually tore yourself away from Karkat long enough to come see me!"

John flushed softly, glancing away to Dave who just stared at him. "Ah, yeah. I did."

Jade bounced slightly. "So how long are you here?"

"We're just doing our thing." Dave stated, shoving hands into his pockets.

"Oh~." A grin came to Jade's face. "Bro time. Right, of course." Green eyes lingered on Dave to which the blonde did not even notice. But John did.

"Yeah, He was being whiney about me not spending any time with him." John said with a chuckle as he slipped an arm around Dave's shoulders. "So we're going on one of our adventures."

"Striders do not whine." Dave mumbled softly.

"Right, they just bitch at you till they get what they want." Jade said with a giggle.

"You wound me Harley." He spoke dramatically as he placed a hand over his heart.

John snorted softly. "It does get you what you want though, doesn't it?"

Dave huffed softly. "I plead the fifth."

Jade rolled her eyes before shifting her attention to John, a smile curling onto her lips. "How have you been, John? It's been forever since we talked! How's Karkat?"

"Oh, um, Karkat's fine. Everything is um fine."

Green eyes narrowed at those flushed cheeks as she leaned forward to peer up into the hero's face. "Uh-Huh."

"Egbert's got it bad for a troll."

"Dave!"

He shrugged. "Truth spoken, dude."

"I knew it!" Jade clapped her hands suddenly, a few giggles coming from her lips. "Oh, John! This is wonderful!"

"I-How is it wonderful?"

"Because! Your happiness matters!"

"I'm not... Jade, we're not like... together or anything."

Her face fell slightly. "Well, that doesn't mean it can't happen."

John shook his head. "Jade, I don't... Things with Karkat are always just so complicated. I really don't... I don't want to make it worse, you know? I am more than happy being his friend."

"Just... his friend?" She ventured softly, a flash of worry crossing her features that Dave nodded at.

John bit his lower lip as he glanced away from the witch, lifting a hand to rub over his bicep awkwardly. "Yeah. We have a close friendship and Karkat's... Well, he's just different. Last thing I want to do is mess it up with my feelings for him."

"But John..." Jade spoke softly, glancing at dave before she stepped forward to place a hand over his that was rubbing his shoulder. The motion stopped and he looked up to meet her swirling green eyes. "He deserves to know how you feel."

"I know that... And I'll tell him, I will. But at my own pace, okay?"

Green met red for a moment before Jade let out a soft sigh and planted a smile on her face. "Okay John. You know Karkat best after all."

"Fuck if I know what you even see in him." Dave spoke, shifting to stretch his arms over his head. "Sure, troll's cute but he's kind of a dick."

Blue eyes narrowed slightly. "He was a dick cause you were a dick."

The blonde shrugged. "He's entertaining."

"Whoa, back up a second!" Jade grabbed Dave's collar and brought him closer to her, green eyes peering into red through tinted goggles. "You met Karkat?"

"Sure did."

Her eyes widened slightly and her mouth opened as she gasped softly. "What?!" She ripped the goggles from Dave's face suddenly, causing the blonde to squint against the bright sun.

"The hell Harley!" He pushed against her grip but she kept hold of his collar, bringing her face closer to peer into his bright red eyes, blocking the sun enough for him.

"You met Karkat and didn't think to tell me? You met _Karkat_ and were a dick to him?!"

"Uh Jade?" John broke in, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. "You're uh stirring up sand."

Jade glanced to John, noticing how her hair was starting to puff up along with her skirt as the sand around her feet started to swirl around her. She took a deep breath, calming down as she released Dave. She tossed his goggles at him over her shoulder as she took a few steps away, running a hand through her long thick dark hair to clam herself.

Dave gave her a soft glare before he quickly tugged on his goggles. The sunlight was never kind to his sensitive eyes which was why he wore the damn things in the first place. But Jade always had a habit of ripping them off so she could see his eyes. She preferred to look him in the eyes when they spoke because she could read him better that way. Dave really preferred it the other way.

"Please do explain to me what happened, John." Jade spoke calmly as she turned back around to face him.

"Uh." He swallowed, glancing at Dave before speaking. "Well, Dave came by and we decided to go on one of our adventures so of course I had to tell Karkat about it cause I'd be gone for a while and it only made sense for Dave to come with me. Karkat already met Casey so I thought it would be a good idea for him to meet someone else, you know? I thought Rose was the best option but well, Dave came first and yeah... They kind of clashed. Cause Dave was a bit of an ass." Narrowed blue eyes glanced at the red clad hero who just shrugged.

"I said I was sorry."

"Is Karkat okay?" Jade asked quickly, green eyes peering up into John's.

"Yeah. He was pretty ticked off and I was worried that we... But we're okay." He nodded.

"I hope I get to meet him soon then."

"I really want you to meet him, Jade. I want everyone to meet him. But one at a time." He laughed softly. "After the fiasco with Dave, we might want to hold off on it for a while."

"Way to ruin it, Dave."

"I saved him the trouble of having to deal with you."

"You're an ass, Strider."

"Best ass around."

"Oh my god."

"Guys?" John interrupted with a smile tugging at his lips. "It's cute and all how you two flirt but it's embarrassing."

"Flirt? I am not flirting with him." Jade huffed slightly, crossing her arms over her chest as she tilted her head in the air, closing her eyes.

"You know you want this sweet bod, Harley. Admit it already."

"No, fuck you Dave."

All John could do was laugh at them. Because it was so obvious that they did in fact want each other. How could Dave ever think Jade wasn't into him? It was _so_ obvious. "Are you two gonna flirt all day or what?"

"Oh right!" Jade blinked, a smile coming to her face as she glanced back at the high priestess who was waiting patiently a few feet away. "I have a quest! If you so choose to accept it."

"A quest?" John's face lit up a bit. "What kind of quest?"

"Well, every year the Auroran's travel into the desert to find these special flowers that make the dyes for their rituals. But this year, the Sand Furies are pretty much everywhere and preventing them from doing so. So! I offered to take care of the Sand Furies and collect the flowers! Would you boys care to join me?"

"What is a Sand Fury?"

"These evil little bitch ass creatures. Those ninja chicks I told you about." Dave stated.

"Oh. Sounds interesting! I'm in!"

"Great! Dave?"

"Yeah, sure, why the hell not."

* * *

With the hoods of their hero garbs pulled over their heads, the three heroes set out into the desert. The warm wind blew, stirring up sand as the sun beat down on their heads rather harshly. Jade clinched a piece of paper in her hand, scanning it over as they walked. Dave already had his sword free, gripping it in his hand in a relaxed nature as the blade rested against his shoulder. John did the same with his hammer, allowing it to rest against his shoulder as they walked.

"We have a lot of ground to cover. This might work best if we split up, otherwise, it's going to take a few days." Jade stated, her eyes locked on the map the high priestess had given her.

"How important is it they have these dyes? Like do they need them immediately?"

"Well, no." Jade glanced up at Dave's question. "Why?"

"Cause, we're adventuring Harley. More fun if we stick together."

She smiled, nodding in agreement. "Together then. Not like we need to hurry."

"Exactly."

Jade folded the map to tuck it into the pockets of her skirt so her hands were free. "This is going to be fun! We haven't done a quest together in ages."

"If Rose was here, we'd be complete." John spoke softly, smiling at the way the other two nodded.

"Maybe we can do that some day soon. All four of us going on a quest." Jade spoke, her voice filled with hope.

"Good luck getting Rose away from her potions and shit. I don't think she's left Bowerstone in months." Dave said with a shrug.

"She must be working on something." Jade pondered.

A sudden hush fell over them that made all three pause in their steps. The wind shifted and the sudden echo of "Ha!" made them tense. Dave gripped his sword, shifting out of his relaxed nature to stand at the ready. Jade narrowed her eyes, scanning over the sand around them as a green mist started to outline her. John swallowed hard and tightened the grip he had on his hammer, blue eyes scanning about for whatever they were looking for.

Then, practically out of no where, a series of figures popped out from beneath the sand. They were covered in black, wrapped around them like bandages and strange pieces of metal that were worn like armor over their chest, wrist, ankles and face. Nothing could be seen that was remotely human aside from the shape of their feminine body. They carried swords in one hand as they crouched down, calling out in strange high-pitched sounds as if they were speaking to one another. They hovered in a circle around the heroes and John was in a bit of awe at the creatures.

Dave moved first. He twisted around, swinging his sword just as one of the Sand Furies came to him, knocking her sword against his. The remaining Furies let out a echoing screech before they attacked. John jumped into the air, flinching at the way the wind pushed him, not used to him being among it. But it adjusted to him, allowing him to float a few feet above the ground as he raised his hammer, ready to fight.

Two Sand Furies came for him, hovering on either side of him as they stepped from foot to foot. They were agile, John could see that. With the way the one Dave fought did a quick backflip to avoid his sword while another quickly cartwheeled out of the way of Jade's burst of magic. Interesting creatures they were. John took a deep breath, fingering the handle of his hammer before he opted for something else. These creatures were too fast for his hammer. They'd move out of the way before he'd ever land a hit.

John quickly attached his hammer to his back before he tugged out his two pistols. The Sand Furies screeched at him as a faint smirk came to his face. He leaned back, aimed and fired both at the same time. But the Furies were quicker. They back flipped out of the way just as the bullets sunk into sand. John narrowed his eyes, twisting his body to aim both pistols at one Fury. When he shot, only one hit home before she spun out of the way of the second one. These Furies were tough. John had not been expecting that.

He holstered his guns, opting out of his weapons. He still was unsteady with his magic but it seemed like the best option. Dave was fast enough to keep up with the Furies and Jade was as well. John, not so much. He was fast when he had confidence in the wind, but he was against his element. He vaguely thought that Karkat would not have any issue taking down the Sand Furies. And that was when it struck him. _Karkat_. Of course.

A grin came to his lips as he pushed against the wind and allowed it to launch him forward. The wind was accommodating as he flew fast through the air and tackled one of the Sand Furies before she had a chance to get away. She released a screech but John didn't give her a chance. He wasn't sure how to kill such a thing but he figured the basics were a great place to start. The other Fury ran for him, letting out a screech as his fist glowed with a bright blue light before pressed his hand to the chest of the Fury he had pinned down. She screeched loudly, gaining the attention of everyone around as his hand disappeared into her chest.

Blue magic swirled around inside her body, absorbing every bit of air within her body and left her with nothing. She coughed, choked and then stilled. John removed his hand from her body, staring at it in slight awe. He didn't know he could do such a thing.

"John!" Jade suddenly exclaimed, knocking his attention back to the present.

He pushed into the air just a sword slashed toward him. He twirled in the air, grabbing the Fury from behind, wrapping an arm around her neck as he ripped the metal mask from her face. What he saw, was utterly terrifying. She was decaying, hardly even recognizable as a human being any more. The undead. Yet still alive. Her jaw unhinged and she let out a screech before John's glowing blue hand thrust down her throat. The air escaped her body, and then she collapsed. John allowed her to the drop to the ground as he wiped his hand on his pant leg.

Fighting hands on was not something he was used to doing but it worked. Karkat had certainly taught him something useful. Fighting the Furies was almost like fighting Karkat. They were fast, like him and a bit brutal. But John held no sympathy for them. There was no sympathy for the dead. The rush of adrenaline was breathtaking and a grin came to the hero's face as he launched into the air to tackle another Fury.

One by one they went down until there was none left. John got to his feet, watching as the dead body of the Fury was sucked into the sand to disappear as they all had done. He panted softly, inhaling the warm desert air as he turned to his fellow heroes. Jade returned to the ground, letting the magic around her die down so she looked less puffy and Dave shouldered his sword with a faint smirk.

"Well done, bro."

John couldn't hide the smirk on his face as he shrugged. "I didn't think it would work but I'm glad it did."

"I didn't know you could control the air inside others." Jade spoke softly, watching John with weary eyes.

"I figured it out by accident one time when I was sparring with Karkat. I'm still iffy on my magic, but I'm learning."

"That's... really powerful John."

"So says the girl that can slip into space and travel wherever she wants." Dave pointed out. "He's just growing into his powers like the rest of us."

"I suppose that's true." A smile came to her face as she nodded. "Right, of course! You're still peaking. Oh!" She turned to the side and hurried to a strange yellow flower that grew from the sand. "We found one!" She quickly picked it, careful to leave the roots before stuffing the flower into the leather bag around her waist. "One down! Twenty-Four to go!"

"Shit, this is going to take a few days."

"It's fun though." John said with a chuckle that made Dave smirk and nod in agreement.

* * *

In Albion, Autumn had taken over the land. The air was cooler, the leaves were turning colors and the crops that had to be harvested were wilting. None of it mattered to Karkat, however. The cool air was a welcomed change for the troll and being so close to the border kept him away from the more harsh weather of Alternia. Trolls were used to harsh winters so the cold never really bothered Karkat. It was a change however and he was not looking forward to witnessing his flowers die. They were only a reminder of something he wished he could forget.

The troll let out a grunt as he leaned against the door frame of his cabin, crimson eyes scanning over the wilting flowers. The rows of flowers were dying, something he could not stop. They would grow again come spring time but it was a little emotional for the troll to see them dying. They represented more than he would ever admit, including their death.

Lips curled over sharp teeth as he let out clicking sound before turning away, shutting the door to his cabin as he entered. The air was warmth within since he'd taken the time clean up and start a fire in the small fireplace off to the side. He found he had a lot of time on his hands without John around. It was strange to consider that he used to live his life just fine before the human and now, he wasn't even sure what to do with himself without him.

For the first week, Karkat cleaned. He cleaned his cabin, from top to bottom. Washed his blankets and clothes, cleaned up the over amount of dirt and decided to re-organize his books. He still didn't have enough room for all of them and so, he took the time to build a new shelf. That took a days worth of his time. With the new shelf in place beside the many other's, he was able to store the many books he had received from Brightwall.

Re-organizing his many books was a few days job. It was tedious but it made time pass so that he wasn't left thinking about the human. He would wake up, eat breakfast, organize some, have lunch, run around the cabin for a bit to keep his body in shape and then return for dinner. After dinner, he would read some and organize a bit more before bed. It was a process he repeated for three days before he was finished organizing.

And now, Karkat was left with nothing to do. It felt strange for him to feel so... He refused to accept that he was lonely. He had handled John going away before just perfectly fine so _why_ was this any different? He knew exactly why. Because John was with that globesniffing piece of shit. Karkat was still furious about how Dave had reacted to meeting him.

Of course Karkat had his own personal issues with the blonde but he was willing to at least attempt some form of civility for John's sake. That spoke volumes for how the troll felt about the raven haired hero. _Volumes_. But no, the blonde was a complete ass to him for no reason and Karkat was still struggling to figure out if it was black or not. He didn't _enjoy_ hating the Strider. He really just wanted to rip him to shreds. That was pretty platonic as far as Karkat was aware of.

"Fuck." He groaned softly as he collapsed onto his bed, pulling a pillow under him as he wrapped his arms around it to rest his chin on.

Karkat never wanted to accept that he was attached to John. It was the last thing he could ever want. But he knew he was. There was no denying it. He'd probably been attached from the moment the dork showed up and refused to leave. And that thought left a strange pain in his chest. He wasn't sure what it meant. He'd never given himself time to think about it. Because he felt it he thought about it long enough he would come to a conclusion he was not prepared for. Which meant, he already knew the answer anyway.

Pale or red, Karkat didn't care. He just knew he wasn't ready for either of those feelings to exist between John and him. Pale was still a soft sore spot while red... Karkat had never seen that quadrant as an option for him. Who was stupid enough to pity him like that? No one. That was who. Or so he was convinced of.

"Goddamnit." He groaned, burying his head into the pillow and thus continued the troll's spell of self-loathing and emotional turmoil.

* * *

The sound of a soft knock made Karkat blink in slight surprise and stare at his door. He stayed still on his bed, his legs bent underneath him as he held an opened book in his lap. The knock came again after a few seconds in a series of three. The troll glanced around his cabin before he slowly closed the book and pushed it to his side. He slipped off the bed, quiet as possible as he moved toward the door. Crimson eyes were narrow as he pushed against the wall and angled himself to peer out a window to see just who could be at his door. He wasn't hopeful enough to think John had returned sooner than he had stated.

The troll's shoulders tensed at the figure outside, his breath catching in his throat. It had been _years_ since Karkat had seen him. So many years that he was surprised he recognized the troll outside his door. His hands shook, his heart pounded and he pushed away from the wall to move in front of the door. The knocks came again causing his lips to curl over his fangs as he let out a hiss.

"Fuck, Okay, you impatient nooknuzzler." He grumbled, grasping the knob to swing the door open.

Both trolls paused once the door swung open and Karkat felt his breath pool in his throat. Beautiful violet eyes took in the shorter, thicker troll before they met surprised crimson.

"Oh, Kar." The troll mumbled softly, his accent thick and proof of the seadweller he actually was.

Karkat took a deep breath, taking in those violet eyes, the purple tinted fins, those teeth and that black swooped back hair with the flash of purple. The troll was dressed relatively tame considering who he was. He wore black from head to toe, with a grey cloak that covered most everything. The hood had been drawn down, to reveal his strangely waved horns that pointed behind him and toward the sky. He was tall, taller than Karkat but a good head but he was lankier. His arms and waist thin, proof he was never a fighter with his bare hands, like Karkat was.

"Eridan." The name came out from a tight throat. Karkat swallowed hard, licking his lips as he glanced up at the older troll. "What are you doing here?"

A faint violet blush came to those grey cheeks as a corner of his mouth perked up into a half-smile, revealing part of his larger sharp fangs. "You look lovvely, Kar."

Karkat's shoulder's relaxed slightly at that expression and crimson eyes rolled. "The fuck are you doing here, Ampora?"

"Is that any wway to greet an old friend?" Eridan opened his arms as he spoke, his violet eyes flashing with affection.

"How did you find me?" Karkat demanded, crossing his arms over his chest as he glared up at the seadweller. "Do I even want to know? Fuck, and I thought I'd actually escaped." He groaned, turning away from the door to enter his home, leaving the door open.

"Oh, Kar, I'm not here for that." Eridan was quick to reply, entering the troll's home. Violet eyes glanced around, taking in the cabin with a soft smile. "You havve a nice home."

"Ugh." He groaned softly, plopping down on his bed as he dug his hands into his hair. "Please tell me they didn't find me. For god's sake."

"No, Kar, of course not!" Eridan moved to Karkat's side quickly, dropping onto the bed beside him. "I'm not here for any of that."

Crimson peek through grey fingers to meet violent. "Then why are you here."

A smile curled to Eridan's face as he tentatively placed a hand on the troll's back. He was relieved to not have it knocked away. They had been close friends after all. Before... Everything went to hell. "I'm not allowwed to vvisit an old friend?"

"It's been over twenty sweeps, Eridan." He straightened out, letting his hands drop as he looked at the seadweller. "Don't fuck around with me."

Eridan let out a soft sigh causing his shoulders to slump just slightly. "You nevver did pleasantries, did you, Kar?" He shook his head, a fond smile on his face as he gazed into crimson eyes. "Feferi is calling us all in."

Karkat's back stiffened and his eyes widened slightly. "She... What."

"Yes, I know it's been quite a wwhile." He waved a hand in the air before getting to his feet to face the other male. "But the pieces are finally starting to fall together. So, she's calling us all. Checking her allies. No one wwas sure about you after you... Wwell," he glanced around the cabin, "I took it upon myself to find you."

"How _did_ you find me?"

"Sol. He's alwways knowwn wwhere you wwere, Kar."

The troll snorted softly, rolling crimson eyes as he relaxed. He should have known Sollux knew where he was at all times. The troll had the strangest powers after all. He let out a soft sigh and leaned back on his hands. "Does she still even want me? What good is a mutant to a future queen?"

"Don't speak so loww of yourself, Kar." Eridan snapped softly, violet eyes narrowing. "You wwere always a great friend. She still trusts you."

"You can not expect me to believe that my blood does not matter."

"I _do_." Eridan growled softly, the fins that were his ears flapping slightly. "I wwouldn't be here otherwise, wwould I not?"

Karkat snarled softly, shifting his eyes to the window that gazed out over his garden. "Who else is still in?"

"Evveryone. Well, almost evveryone. You and... Gamzee are the last ones."

The troll twitched at the name, crimson eyes meeting violet. "The fucks that assclown up to?"

"Wwell... No one is sure. After you... After you left, Kar, he wwent a little crazy." Eridan spoke with a tone of concern as he moved to sit beside the other troll. "A murder spree without his Moirail to stop him."

Karkat growled in the back of his throat. "He wasn't my problem anymore."

"Kar..."

"No. I'm not talking to you about this." He snapped suddenly, getting to his feet. "You tell Feferi I'm still in. I'll be more than fucking thrilled to take down that High Blood who tried to end me."

"Yes, of course." Eridan moved to his feet as well, looking Karkat over with a hint of concern. "Sol sends his greetings. As does evveryone else. They... Wwe miss you, Kar."

"I'm not going back, Eridan. Not until Feferi has the throne. You weren't followed were you?" Crimson eyes narrowed.

"Of course not. I was specifically careful, Kar. I'd nevver wwish harm to come to you. Wwe wwere great friends once, if you recall. Pale as could be until that clown came around."

They both winced at the memory. It had been many years since the two had been moirails. Moirails for life until Gamzee came along and managed to spark every pale feeling Karkat ever had. Eridan was rather understand about the whole thing but with the look he was giving Karkat, it was obvious those pale feelings still existed.

"Sorry, Eridan." Karkat mumbled softly, glancing away to the floor quickly. "You can't... You can't fucking blame me for being cautious."

"I can not." He agreed. "I did not come here to drag you back. You are safest here, I knoww that. But... Wwe do miss you, Kar. Your blood, it was shocking at first, I wwill admit but wwe... It does not matter to us."

"It mattered to him..."

"Kar..."

"No. Fuck." He took a deep breath and held a hand out to Eridan who was moving toward him. "I'm not doing this, Eridan. I just can't."

"My apologies." Eridan gave a nod as a smile came to his face. "Shall wwe speak of something else? Howw about that ovverwwhelming scent of human? Wwhat is that about, Kar?" He asked, flipping his hand around the room.

"Shit." Karkat groaned, running a hand through his thick black hair. "Haven't seen you in sweeps and that's what you ask me?"

"Shall I speak about myself, then? Wwe both are awware of howw good at that I am."

"How long are you staying?"

"I can afford a feww days. If you'll havve me."

"Yeah, why the fuck not." He shrugged, shifting to lean against the kitchen table. "You hungry? Want some lunch?"

The smile that came to Eridan's face reminded Karkat of simpler happier times. "That wwould be lovvely."

* * *

Admitting that he had missed the seadweller was not something Karkat was willing to do aloud. But, he had missed Eridan. He missed all of his friends but it had been so long since he'd last seen them, he assumed they'd moved on without him. It was comforting to hear Eridan state that they talked about him often. Karkat had left for his own safety. For his safety and the safety of his friends. When he'd left, he'd been convinced they hated him. It was a strange feeling to realize none of them did.

"Oh, yes, Sol was quite upset that he could not come with me." Eridan spoke with a soft laugh in his voice, reclining comfortably on Karkat's bed with the other troll beside him, sitting with cross legs, facing him. "But you should see him, and evveryone else, once Feferi decides on wwhen to do a meeting. Hopefully I can bring him wwith me to come get you."

"She's finally decided to go through with this."

Eridan's expression fell slightly. "Yes. Once she knowws she has all of her friends at her back, I'm sure she'll be ready to jump into action. There's plenty to plan since so much has changed. Things... are still has bad as they evver have been but as wwe'vve growwn, wwe'vve come to dislike it evven more."

Karkat hummed softly, glancing down at his folded hands in his lap. "It's not going to be easy."

"Wwe nevver thought it wwould be, Kar." Eridan eyed the troll beside him before he leaned up, lifting a hand to run through soft black hair. "Wwhat troubles you?"

Karkat released a soft breath at the cool hand in his hair. Once a moirail, always a piece of a moirail. Of course Eridan still held a piece of his pale heart. Probably the only piece that Gamzee had not wrecked. Plus, it was easier for Karkat to speak about such things with Eridan, more so than with John, because Eridan had been there. He understood.

"Is it, Gamz?" The way Karkat closed his eyes was enough of an answer for Eridan. "He was a mess after you left, Kar."

"I left because of him!" He snapped softly. "Because he-"

"I know, Kar. I don't blame you. He wwas... He wwas a horrible moirail to you. But only because he cared so much about you that it drove him crazy. Crazy enough to let his blood control him and turn into something he wwas not."

"What happened to him?" Karkat asked softly, crimson eyes glancing up at violet.

"Wwell, he wwas taken into custody. As far as any of us knoww, he's rotting in a cell in the castle until someone can come along to control him."

"I'm not doing it. It's not my job anymore." His voice was tight.

"I knoww that. Wwe all do. For all I care, he can rot. Like father like son."

Karkat grit his teeth, pushing down the urge to defend his once moirail. Gamzee had been a hard moirail but he had been a good one. The other's never had the chance to see that. None of them understand Gamzee like Karkat had. But... Gamzee broke his pale heart and there was nothing Karkat could do about that. He wasn't ready to forgive and he was sure he never would be.

Eridan hummed softly, letting his fingers trail in soft black hair before he dropped his hand. "Are you going to tell me about this human stench? It's literally evverywwhere, Kar. Evven your bed."

Karkat flushed softly at those words, his heart pounded at the sudden change of subject. "Oh, that."

"Yes, _that_. Is there a change in your quadrants I am not awware of?"

"What quadrants? I have no quadrants."

Eridan gasped dramatically. "Kanaya would be hurt to hear you say such a thing."

Karkat winced. "Okay, there's her. But that's all."

The seadweller hummed. "So, this human then?"

"We are friends. I met him a few perigrees ago. He's entertaining."

"Is that all he is?" Eridan ran his long elegant fingers of the soft bedspreads. "He must be something special to share a bed with you."

"It is not what you are thinking. At all." He crinkled his nose, unable to stop the red flush that came to his cheeks.

"Reallllly?" Eridan purred, poking Karkat's flushed cheek with a perfectly manicured claw. "This speaks otherwise."

The troll snapped at that finger, curling his lips over his sharp fingers when he missed. "We are _friends_."

"Oh, that part I understand. What I am curious to knoww is if that is all you desire to be?"

"As if my blood wasn't enough to get me culled." Karkat sounded exasperated as he rolled his eyes.

Eridan just rolled his violet eyes in return. "Alternian lawws aside, Kar, considering you livve outside the boundary of them, then wwhat?"

"Fuck if I know." He sighed softly. "John's a stupid little dork who hardly grasps troll romance."

"His name is John?"

"He's a hero."

Eridan paused. "A hero? A _hero_ hero? Like the ones of legend?"

"Yeah."

Violet eyes widened and suddenly, Eridan was on his knees before Karkat, fulling facing him as he gathered the other troll's hands into his own. "Oh, Kar, you must tell me evverything about him. You met a hero!"

Crimson eyes rolled. "He's a dork, Eridan. Not much more to tell."

"Wwhat are his powwers? Wwhat is he capable of?" Eridan sounded truly interested and it was no surprise to Karkat. The seadweller had always been interested in history and things of that sort.

"He can fly. Without wings. He's taken me flying. It's... interesting. Fuck if I know what he's capable of. He's pretty strong and happens to be a quick thinker in battle. It's pretty... exciting to witness what he is... capable of." Grey cheeks flushed red at the feeling that swelled in his stomach.

"Oh. Oh my." Eridan let out a soft chuckle as he squeezed Karkat's hands. "He's handsome, isn't he?"

"He's alright."

"Is he... Pale wworthy? Or pity wworthy?"

Karkat hissed softly and tore his hands from Eridan's. "Neither. We're friends. That is all."

"Hmm. But you do wwant to pail him."

Karkat's flushed a bright red from his collar bone to the tips of his ears. "I don't see how that's your seedsucking business!"

Eridan let out a bark of laughter. "So you do! Oh Kar I've nevver seen you so flushed for someone before!"

"Shut up you bullshit tentsquatting douchewhiff." He snapped though his face was still so very red.

"Aw, Kar! You used to gossip so wwell wwith me." Eridan laughed softly. "You can't tell me this doesn't feel as good as it once did. Come on now."

Karkat just huffed, tilting his head in the air. "Gossip is fine as long as it is not about me."

Eridan hummed softly. "Alright. Howw about your brother?"

Karkat perked at that, his crimson eyes shifting to meet violet. "What about Kankri?"

"Did you knoww he ran off with my brother? Not long after you left? Something about not wwanting to share quadrants or something." He waved a dismissing hand. "Goodness knowws wwhere they are."

"Kankri always said he thought there was more than four quadrants and... that you could find them all in one person..."

"Apparently, He found that wwith Cronus which baffles me, by the wway. Of all people for Kankri to find forever with, it had to be my douchewwaffle of a brother."

Karkat just snorted softly. "As long as he's happy, I don't care."

"Kankri's a mutant blood as wwell, isn't he?"

Karkat winced at the M word. "Yeah."

"Hm. Explains wwhy they ran off then." Eridan let out a sigh as he shifted to relax against the headboard. "You're right. As long as they're happy."

"I take it you and Captor are just as black as ever then." Karkat motioned toward the soft smile on Eridan's face.

"No complaints." He spoke as if everything was right in the world and for Eridan, that seemed to be true.

* * *

Eridan shifted awkwardly outside Karkat's door, his hands shoved into the pockets of his simple pants as his violet eyes glanced everywhere but at the short troll in front of him. Karkat let out a soft sigh and after a moment of debating, he stepped forward and wrapped an arm around the seadweller's thin waist. Eridan reacted quickly, wrapping both arms around Karkat's shoulder's tightly, resting his cheek against soft raven hair.

"It was grand seeing you again, Kar."

The troll grunted in response, allowing himself the short moment to savior Eridan's touch. "Don't be a stranger."

"Certainly wwill not." Eridan laughed softly, giving Karkat's hair a good nuzzle before they pulled away from one another. "Hopefully Sol can join me next time."

"Yeah."

Eridan gave a warm smile. "Take care, Kar."

He nodded. "You too."

And with that, Eridan left, disappearing through the trees to return home. Karkat watched him disappear before slipping back inside his home where he shut the door, locked it and then collapsed onto his bed.

* * *

Dave and John spent close to two weeks in Aurora. They spent four days searching the sands around Aurora for all the flowers they needed. The Sand Furies were practically everywhere but John found a thrill in taking them down with his bare hands. Plus, he really enjoyed fighting alongside his fellow heroes. It was nice to spend time with Jade and Dave. But he did miss Karkat. He found himself thinking about the troll often while out with his fellow heroes.

After spending time exploring around Aurora, fighting and enjoying their time with Jade, Dirk and Jake, Jade sent them off to Bloodstone. Bloodstone was a strange town on the edge of Albion pressed against the ocean. It was well-known for pirates though overtime it had grown to be a nice little town to raise a family. John and Dave took their time in Bloodstone. They talked to old pirates, went treasure hunting and John even found an interesting book for Karkat that Dave teased him about for getting.

And after spending a week in Bloodstone, they made their way across Albion. They stopped in a few towns and enjoyed their time together. John was happy to spend alone time with Dave. He was reminded of how much fun it was to be with the blonde. Sure, he missed Karkat but Dave was his best bro and he was happy to have time to spend with him.

* * *

"The air is different." John stated softly, tilting his head back to inhale the cool air. The forest was dusted in a soft layer of snow and a bitter wind blew through the trees every once in a while. Both John and Dave had opted for their winter wear which was no different from their normal hero garb. Just the addition of long sleeves and a thicker material.

"How longs it been since you were last here?" Dave pondered, tugging at the black gloves over his hands.

"I... It's been awhile." He mumbled softly with a slight shrug. The air was cool, proving the turn of winter. Mourningwood was in a far off corner of Albion, close to the mountains that shadowed the large forest.

"Anything familiar?"

John tilted his head before he glance down to the ground, following along a worn path. They had left the Mourningwood fort to head forward into the forest. They had no real plan. Just to see if they could find anything that reminded John of his childhood before he was found. "Not really."

"Let's just keep going."

The blue clad hero nodded in agreement and the two of them moved through the forest at a normal pace. The trees were tall and thick but there were a few pathways that lead toward the cemetery and the village. They avoided the cemetery for obvious reasons. John had no intention of dealing with Hollow Man so soon after they had visited Asher and Adairis.

"Think we'll ever find your necklace?" Dave asked softly after a while of walking, his red eyes glancing around the forest.

"I doubt it. It's probably lost forever. I've pretty much accepted that at this point."

"That really sucks dude."

"Yeah..."

It was a little while later, when they came to a fork in the path and made their way toward the village that they came upon something that sparked a memory for John.

"Wait." He gasped softly and quickly stumbled off the trail to move toward a large carved rock. There strange etchings that were familiar to the hero though he could not place where he had seen them before. "This is familiar."

"It's a rock."

John narrowed his eyes slightly as he reached out to run a bare finger over the strange yet beautiful etching. Memories flashed through his mind but they were fuzzy and hard to hold on to before they were gone. But he could remember one thing. Crimson. Crimson that made him shiver and think of Karkat. A surge of _something_ ran up his spine and he quickly snapped his hand away from the stone.

"Sup dude?"

"N-Nothing." He shook his head as he turned away from the stone to get back onto the path. "Let's just keep going. Let's check out the Sunset House."

"I thought you'd never ask." A grin came to the blonde's face but he could tell something was on John's mind. But being the best bro he was he knew when to leave something alone and when he could poke at it. It was one of those leave it alone situations.

* * *

Karkat hummed to himself softly as he moved to his second dresser. He'd spent the past few days cleaning out his things, deciding what he wanted to keep and what would be tossed out. Most of his things held memories that he wasn't willing to be rid of yet so the pile under his bed had only grown since he began. Not that he minded. He was only doing this to preoccupy his time after all.

He paused when he opened the top draw, crimson eyes immediately landing on the softly glowing blue necklace buried beneath a few other items of jewelry. A prickle ran up his spine and made its way to his heart where it made the organ swell a little painfully. He wasn't ready. Oh fuck he wasn't ready. But his hand moved anyway, plucking the glowing trinket from the drawer.

It was cool to the touch as he rest the strange waves in the palm of his hand while the silver chain dangled in the air. It was not as if he had forgotten the necklace. It was just something he didn't like to think about. In fact, he hated thinking about it. Because... Though it was painful, it was also one of the few times in his life he had been truly happy.

Karkat swallowed hard, past the lump in his throat and clutched the pendent to his chest. He abandoned the open drawer to plop down on his bed. He rolled tp his back, lifting the chain to dangle the pendent above him. The waves were identical to the ones on John's hero garb and the birthmark on his back. Karkat had considered the possibilities before but it never seemed to make sense...

Nearly twenty years ago, after Karkat ran from home for his own protection and to salvage his broken pale heart, he had found that baby. A baby alone in the woods. A human baby. What choice did he have? Of course he took care of it. He raised it otherwise, it would have died. The baby helped to heal his heart and in the end, Karkat had to give up the child so it would have a better life with his own kind. With humans. It was one of the hardest things he'd ever done but he knew it was the right thing to do. But Karkat kept the necklace as a memory.

The baby had the same mark as John on his back.

"Well fuck..." The troll mumbled softly, the corners of his eyes prickling with red tears as his chest swelled. He grasped the pendent in the palm of his hand and held it close to his racing heart. He was in deep long before he even realized it and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huh. Well, What do you know? 
> 
> Heh. The next chapter is a flash back chapter and we get a lot more background on Karkat and John. Should be fun yeah? I'm excited for it. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Remember to let me know what you thought! Kudos are great but you can only kudo a chapter fic once so comments are really appreciated!


	12. The Troll And The Human Grub

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't even... I have nothing to say. Enjoy these songs while you read.
> 
> [This](http://youtu.be/X89vRMWDqkg) and [This](http://youtu.be/5VwbMZaMEeA)

_So hear my voice_

_Remind you not to bleed_

_I am here_

_Savior will be there_

_When you are feeling alone_

_A savior, for all that you do._

_So you live freely without their harm_

* * *

The air was warmer than the troll expected. It was thicker; full of something he could not explain. But he could feel it; taste it. As the air filled his lungs and escaped through his nose, it left a strange unfamiliar taste that left him wishing he could return to Alternia. But there was nothing to return to. Not for him anyway. Not that he was willing to accept.

His friends were no more. Sure, they lived and would continue to do so but they were not longer his friends. How could they be anymore? _They knew._ Remaining friends with a mutant like him would only get them killed. Which was why Karkat Vantas left his home behind in the first place. He refused to admit he was running. Admitting such a thing would be admitting he was a coward, which he certainly was not. He was, however, protecting the lives of his friends while also saving his own tail.

No one would come after him into Albion. Crossing the border into the human land was an immediate crime to the throne. Karkat was safe in the human land. As safe as he could be, perhaps. Humans had never caused their kind any harm though the troll had no intention of allowing himself to be known around the country. He didn't really have any plans quite honestly. Getting out of Alternia was as far as his plan had gone considering the task had been far from easy.

Karkat paused near a tall looming tree, allowing a shoulder to rest against it as he curled a hand to his chest, pressing the thumb of his other hand into the palm. A dirty, bloodied bandage covered his palm and he winced at the slight pain he received from giving the wound pressure. It would eventually but the wound was deep and not well treated. He didn't care for the wound. It was the wound that ruined everything.

It had been an accident. Gamzee was never known for the control he had over his high blood temper. Karkat was used to his sudden outbursts. It was his job after all. Being the moirail of a high-blood was one hell of a job that Karkat was more than up for. He'd done it well for another high-blood, one even higher than Gamzee. Eridan had been a great moirail but when Gamzee came into the low-blood's life, no one had a choice in the events that followed.

Karkat stumbled and fell hard into pale love for the abused and slightly broken high-blood. Eridan never blamed him for it. He'd always been so understanding that it left Karkat feeling even more guilty about the whole outcome. But Gamzee needed him and the seemingly rust-blood troll focused on that. He was the only one who could get to the high-blood and calm him down. It was meant to be and there wasn't a person willing to deny it. Even with the embarrassingly large blood level difference.

But it all changed when they found out the truth. It was something Karkat had hidden his entire life. From the time he was grub. From the time his older brother explained to him why they kept their blood a secret and why it was so important to never allow anyone to know the truth. It was the only secret Karkat ever kept and then it was all ruined in the flash of sharp claws.

Gamzee had not meant to hurt, Karkat. The mutant troll knew that. But he'd been upset and swapped at him before Karkat had a chance to stop him. Those claws slashed through the palm of his hand and that was it. His blood was revealed. Bright red, ugly, disgusting blood that a majority of his friends could see. Gamzee lost it. Karkat could hardly remember the words the high-blood screeched at him but the sentiment was the same.

Gamzee was a high-blood. It was one thing for him to be in a quadrant with a low-blood. The lowest of bloods as Karkat had been masquerading. But to be with a mutant? Unacceptable. It could have gotten Gamzee killed. It _would_ have gotten Gamzee killed if Karkat had not left. He left his friends behind and everything he knew to save them and himself. Even if they didn't care for him anymore. He had done the right thing. He was sure of it.

So now, Karkat was stuck in a land he knew very little about and what he did know was the small stories Eridan had told him while they were still together. He wasn't sure if he could take those stories as truthful or not. Eridan's knowledge of the humans were from books and Karkat wasn't sure how well he trusted them. He figured he would have to learn on his own but at least Alternian was not all that different from English.

It had been almost a week since Karkat crossed the border into Albion. He traveled through the mountains, passed a few villages and was now in a vast forest where he was certain he was only going around in circles. He took a deep breath, shifting to rest his back against the trunk of the large tree. His hands fell to his sides as crimson eyes raised to the grey clouded sky peaking through leaves and branches. The seasons in Albion appeared to be similar to those of Alternia. Spring covered the land, leaving it in beautiful colors and warm winds.

Karkat was unsure of what to do with himself. He could continue to travel on through the country, exploring but he would eventually need to stop and find a place to make his home. A place that was secluded and safe. A place he could be himself without worry of being found. That seemed to be a hard task on its own. He would probably have to build his home and the whole thing seemed to inconvenient. He took a deep breath, shutting his eyes as he took a moment to just _feel_ the land around him.

The wind blew gently, a cool nip to it as it passed through the fabric of his black cloak. The trees rustled, birds chirped, a stick snapped in the distance and... He stilled his breathing, tilting his head slightly at the strange echoing sound that reached his grey pointed ears. It was a high-pitched sound that paused every so often as if the creature making it had to pause to breathe. Something about the sound made him feel agitated. The maker of the sound seemed distressed but the troll could not be sure.

After a moment of the echoing sound, Karkat pushed off the tree and began walking toward the sound. He slipped past trees, tugging the hood over his head a little tighter around his face as the distressed sound grew louder. It was vaguely familiar and yet it was not. The emotion the sound expressed was familiar but the sound itself was not. Crimson eyes narrowed and his ears perked as he neared the sound.

The troll came upon a clearing in the forest where a group of small flowers were growing beautifully. He stilled beside a tree, his eyes narrowing at the small bundle resting in those flowers. It was not hard for Karkat to figure out what it was. He'd seen grubs before and it was safe to assume it was a human grub in those flowers. He bit his lower lip, crimson glancing around the tree line before he stepped into the clearing as the wailing from the child grew. It was crying. Probably because it was alone.

The pale baby was not too old, probably not even a month old from the looks of it though Karkat could not be sure at all how old the human grub was. He knew nothing about humans but he did know that the crying from the child made his chest tight. The baby was naked aside from a necklace, with chubby little fists clenched at its cheeks as its mouth opened wide to release another loud cry. He winced at the sound and quickly moved forward, shifting the cloak around his shoulder so he could reach for the child.

Grey fingers slipped under thin black hair and a small back before he lifted the crying child and brought it to his chest. He shifted awkwardly, pressing the child against his shoulder as he bounced it slightly. Hell if he knew what he was doing but he'd seen enough grubs with their lusus to have some form of an idea of what to do. The crying did not cease however and all Karkat could wonder was where the child's lusus was. Who left a child in the middle of the forest?

"Shit." He mumbled, a hand cradling the baby's head while the other papped its bare bum. "Alright little grub, you can shut up now. You're not alone. I'm here. Everything's fine. I think. Maybe. Probably. Fuck." He groaned, rolling his eyes to the sky as he bounced the crying child. "Where the hell is your lusus? You weren't abandoned were you? Bulgefucking hell."

The baby took a few sharp in takes of breath, the cries hiccupped slightly as its fists clenched against Karkat's chest. The baby shifted its face, pressing a cheek against Karkat's shoulder, facing him as it cried softly. Clear tears streaked down its face, its eyes closed and its cheeks red.

"You're alright, kid. Well, okay maybe not alright. Fuck if I know what I'm doing but hell, you're not alone anymore. Are you hungry? Probably. I don't have anything to help you with that. Shit shit shit shit." He groaned softly, his crimson eyes narrowing in slight worry as he bounced the baby in his arms, attempting to calm it down. Its cries had calmed slightly but they had not stopped and Karkat was at a loss for what to do.

The troll vaguely registered that the child was shivering before he carefully slipped the cloak from his shoulders, tugging it off his head. He was careful as he knelt to the ground where he laid out the cloak on the grass. The baby continued to cry as he laid it down on the cloak and wrapped it up nice and tight. He was careful of his claws as he tucked the cloak around the baby's small fragile body. Once he was done, he leaned back watching as the child's crying ceased and it finally opened its eyes.

Vibrant, beautiful blue struck Karkat to the core. Eyes more beautiful than any ocean, any sky and anything Karkat had ever seen in his life. His breath paused in his throat as he reached for the baby, cradling it in his arms as he brought it to his chest. The baby sniffed, its nose crinkling as it started to cry once again.

"Shhhh." He brought two fingers up and gently tapped them against a red cheek. The baby ceased its crying and opened its eyes. "Good boy. You are a boy, right? I'm saying you're a boy. Humans and your weird ass junk." He shrugged lightly as he moved to his feet again. "Alright, grub, where is your lusus?" He asked aloud, crimson eyes scanning over the clearing. He couldn't catch the scent of another human and it made him wonder if the boy had a lusus. A stab of sympathy struck him rather hard and made him wince. "Well shit."

"Ahhh. Ahhhh!" The baby suddenly gasped, blue eyes closing as he started to cry again.

"No, no, Shhh." Karkat papped the child gently, not knowing what else to do as he glanced around the clearing. "The fuck am I going to do with you?" He mumbled to himself as he started to walk around the clearing. He held the child in one arm, bouncing it gently as he tried to think. There was a village a few hours travel back in the direction he had come but he didn't feel confidant in leaving a child there. He didn't know humans and he didn't know how they would react to a child just showing up. He didn't trust they would just take it in.

Karkat paused in his walking when he noticed a leather satchel resting in a patch of flowers. Crimson eyes glanced around suspiciously before he snatched the satchel up. He gripped the leather handle with his teeth as he dug through the bag with his free hand. Claws wrapped around a thin round glass bottle and pulled it out to show a bottle. A baby bottle with a white liquid in it. Crimson eyes narrowed a bit more as he placed the satchel back on the ground gently before pressing the nipple of the bottle against the baby's mouth.

The baby's mouth opened immediately and took in the nipple, sucking at it eagerly. Karkat held the body properly, eyes widening as the baby in his arms ate and was completely quite aside from the soft sucking sounds. He took a deep breath and glanced away from the child to stare at the satchel on the ground. All evidence led to the belief that the child was either abandoned or his lusus died in the forest, leaving the baby alone. Either way, Karkat was stuck.

The troll took a deep breath, glancing down at those beautiful blue eyes that were looking up at him and felt his heart stammer in his chest. "What the shitfuck am I going to do with you?"

* * *

An hour or so before Karkat stumbled upon the crying baby, he had passed an abandoned cabin that he decided to return to with the baby. It was old and incredibly small with only one room, two windows and the front door. There was hardly enough room for a bed and a desk but it would do for the time being for the troll. The bed was old and when he tossed the leather satchel on the mattress, dust clouded into the air. He narrowed his eyes, holding the sleeping child against his chest as he opened the two windows to allow the room to air out.

The troll wasn't sure what he was going to do about the baby but he didn't have the heart to just leave it in the woods or take it to some village where he wasn't sure what the people would do with it. The satchel had enough milk to last a few days and that gave Karkat time to figure things out. He paced around the small cabin before he placed the baby on the bed so he could gather his thoughts properly. Crimson eyes glanced around, taking in a few things that needed to fixed or replaced. He was home for now.

* * *

Over the course of the next few days, Karkat took the time to clean the old cabin. It wasn't easy considering he had nothing but what he had brought from Alternia with him; which was not very much at all. But he dusted the cabin clean, washed the bed sheets in a nearby lake, aired out the old mattress, and did everything else he could think of to make the cabin much more livable than it had been.

And all the while, he had the baby with him. He'd cut and twisted his cloak to make a sling for the baby to rest in while he went about his cleaning and the baby was more than content just resting against his chest. Considering how much the thing had been crying when Karkat found it, the boy was actually rather calm and content most of the time. As long as he wasn't left alone, was clean and well-fed, he was a happy baby. He slept a lot in the sling but Karkat figured that was what babies did.

Karkat never thought he was cut out to be a lusus or a parent. He knew enough about grubs but a human grub was a whole new experience. They were squishy, soft and defenseless. The completely opposite of a troll grub. But the troll could not fight the natural instinct to take care of the abandoned baby. It was natural for grubs to be left alone or abandoned in Alternia and it was a natural reflex to take one in when it was found.

He had been an orphan himself, along with his brother. Kankri had just gone through his adolescent change when Karkat was born. They were both abandoned after that. Karkat didn't remember their parents but Kankri did; though he refused to ever speak about them. Kankri took care of the little grub Karkat to the best of his ability but he was still young. It was then they found their lusus.

So Karkat knew what it felt like to be abandoned and that alone make him want to keep the baby. But he wasn't a lusus. He didn't know what he was doing at all, even if he'd been doing just fine for the past few days. The milk would run out soon and Karkat had no idea where to get more. He didn't even know what it was really. He assumed he couldn't feed the child regular food; much like grubs relied on supor instead of other foods.

The troll knew the best decision, the right decision, was to take the child to the closest village and hand him off to a human that was capable of raising him properly. He knew that was the right thing to do. But... He couldn't. He just couldn't. He had found the child. He had taken the child in and he was the one who fed him, calmed him when he was upset, held him when he was sleepy and... slept with him. There was no feeling like that of the feeling he received when that human grub fell asleep on his chest as he lay in the bed. No feeling at all and it was not a feeling Karkat was willing to let go.

Though Karkat was sure he wanted to keep the child, he was unsure how he could do so. He fought with the decision for quite a while and didn't finally come to a conclusion till late one night.

The troll lay on his back, an arm tucked under his head as he allowed himself to rest. The baby laid on his chest, a cheek pressed to his collar bone with a chubby fist curled against a tiny mouth. The baby slept peacefully as Karkat kept one hand on his small back, petting the child occasionally. He was drifting in and out of slumber when the baby shifted and made a few noises, letting the troll know he was awake.

"Mmm." Karkat groaned softly, peeking open a crimson eye to see blue eyes were looking right back at him. He smiled faintly and shifted, grabbing the baby around the waist as he moved into a sitting position. The baby still couldn't keep his head up so Karkat tucked two fingers against his head as he held the child up near his face so they were eye level.

Tiny lips opened and spread into a toothless smile that warmed the troll's heart. The pain of leaving his home land had been softened because of this child in his life. Because of that small toothless smile. The baby shifted, flapping an arm for a moment before his curled fist connected with Karkat's nose. Crimson eyes widened slightly, watching as the baby gave a soft bubbly giggle.

The decision was made then. Karkat would keep the human baby and raise it as his own.

"You're a Vantas now." He mumbled softly, leaning forward to nuzzle his cheek against the baby's. The tiny fist knocked against his ear as the baby let out a few sounds. The troll swallowed hard as he closed his eyes and hugged the human to his chest gently. "Welcome to my fucked up family."

* * *

It was not easy at first. Not like the troll expected it to be. But he knew nothing about human babies and what they needed. So he did the one thing he could think of. He went into town. Now, the issue with going into town was having to interact with humans. Interacting meant a chance of them figuring out what he was or at worst, fearing him to the point of trying to harm him. Since he had ripped apart his cloak to use as blankets for the baby he now called Van, he had no way to hide his grey skin and horns. So, he took a piece of the cloak and created a make-shift hat with it. It was an odd little thing but it covered his horns and pointed ears at least. His skin... well he had no choice but to leave it as it was. He wore dark, long-sleeved clothing anyway so only his face, neck and hands could be seen.

With Van tucked against his chest and a satchel over his shoulder, Karkat took the trek toward the village he had passed over a week ago. Van slept the entire way, nuzzled against Karkat's chest with the warmest smile on his face hat just about melted the troll's heart. He was willing to admit the baby was helping him deal with the loss of his home and his friends. It was helping him cope with his broken pale heart because Van was a distraction. One he desperately needed.

The village was not a large one, tucked into the forest and near a large sewer that Karkat was sure lead to a large city. The people were kind, from the look of it and they seemed to be wood-dwellers. He was unsure of where to start and only hovered at the edge of the forest for a while as the people of the village went about their day. There was a large tree in the middle of the village, surrounded by at least ten cabins. Between each cabin was a stand, selling whatever wares they could to the people of the village. Scattered about in the trees were plenty of other cabins where the people lived.

"Oh my!" The feminine voice made Karkat flinch slightly and he turned to the side to see a plump older human with dark hair and dark eyes. "You gave me quite the fright young man!" She gasped softly, a smile curling to her lips as she pressed a hand to her chest. "I did not see you there."

The only thing Karkat could do was stand there. He'd been spotted. He'd been caught and with how the woman was looking over his body and skin, he just knew she could tell there was something different about him. He didn't know humans. He didn't know how they would act toward him or how they acted in general.

And then Van grumbled in the sling and shifted, letting out a yawn that caught both of their attention.

"Oh." The woman spoke softly, taking a step forward to peer at the still slumbering baby in the sling. She was still a few steps away from the troll but she was able to see the baby well enough. The woman then shifted, moving the basket she had been carrying on her head to prop against a hip. Within the basket was a bundle of red fruit that Karkat had seen growing a bit away from the village. Dark eyes glanced over the troll and his human baby as a smile came to her face. "Not from around here, hm? Don't you fret. Mourningwood is a nice place. Just don't wonder near the cemetery." She waggled a free finger at him. "Dangerous place there."

Crimson eyes stared at the woman, his shoulders tense and his hands curling into fists. He honestly was unsure what to do. Either the woman had not noticed his differences or she did not care. He couldn't decide on which were the truth.

A knowing smile graced her lips. "Well, I'm sure not one to pry, but after havin' three babes of my own, I sure know the look of a terrified new parent."

Karkat's breath stilled in his throat. Crimson eyes were narrowed slightly in confusion and suspicion. He wasn't sure if he could trust the woman yet.

The woman gave a soft sigh as she shifted the basket against her side. "You need some help, son?" Dark eyes glanced at the baby against his chest. "It ain't hard to see it ain't yours." A kind smile came back to her lips. "I have some old things left over from my children if you've like to have them? They ain't no use collecting dust."

Crimson eyes narrowed. "Why?" He mumbled softly.

She perked an eyebrow, tilting her head. "Why what, dear?"

"Why..." He swallowed and pushed away from the tree he was near to face her fully. "Why help me?"

Dark eyes noticed his fangs and only widened slightly. "It wouldn't be you I'd be helpin'. It'd be that baby." She motioned to Van, dark eyes glancing at his with determination. "It ain't all that uncommon for a baby to be left on its own. It also ain't all that hard to figure out you took it in without a lick of knowledge on how to take care of it."

"He."

"Pardon?"

"It's a boy."

"A boy, hm?" She smiled softly and took a few steps forward. Karkat didn't move as she did so and that seemed to make her smile grow. "Have a name?"

"Van."

"Cute little thing. You're brave taking him in." Now that she was closer, the color of his skin was more obvious, along with the strange color of his eyes and the fangs hidden behind plump lips. "Hm." She hummed softly before shaking her head. "Not my business what you are. Do you care for my help or not?"

Karkat took a deep breath before he nodded. He was never a troll to ask for help. Doing so made him feel weak but it was no longer about him. It was about a baby that he had no real idea how to take care of. If the woman was willing to help, than what choice did Karkat have? And if she was messing with him, well the troll knew how to take care of her then.

"Wonderful. Come along then." The woman moved to walk past him, motioning for him to follow which he did slowly. They moved past the main part of the village, past a few more people who only gave them glances before coming upon one of the larger cabins in the village. The woman entered the home, leaving the door open for the troll who paused outside. He gave the home a good once over, taking everything in before he entered the home where the woman was placing her basket on the kitchen table. "My name's Jenna, by the way."

Crimson glanced around the home, taking in the kitchen, two beds, and many other things that he had never seen before. There was an upstairs loft as well but he could not see what was up there from where he stood. He was not comfortable giving a strange human woman his name but he didn't see how it mattered either way. "Karkat."

"What an interesting name." She pondered aloud as she cleaned her hands on the white apron she wore over her clothes. "How old is he? Do you know?"

"No."

"Hm." She moved forward, pausing a few steps away from Karkat to peer at the still slumbering child. "He's young. Maybe a month or so. What have you been feeding him?"

"White stuff." He mumbled softly, careful to keep his lips together as much as he could. He wasn't fond of letting her see his fangs. "Found a... bag with him."

A sadden expression crossed her face. "Poor dear really was abandoned." She took a deep breath before those dark eyes met his. "You sure you wanna take him in? Babies are a big responsibility."

"I know that." He snapped softly, crimson glancing away to the sleeping face of the baby. His expression softened as he sighed faintly. "I'm not leaving him."

"Fair 'nough." She waved a dismissive hand as she turned away from him to wonder back into the kitchen. "Was that all that was in the bag? Just milk? How many bottles?"

"Yes. He's out." Karkat shifted to wrap his arms around the bundle against his chest.

"Oh dear. So milk is important. Usually babies get milk from their momma but considering the circumstance..." She trailed off as she started to go through the cabinets of her kitchen. "Orphans are a larger problem then they used to be apparently. I heard there's too many to handle in Bowerstone. So Reaver Industries created a type of formula for those orphans under the king's request. Ah ha!" She leaned on her toes as she grabbed a silver tin from a shelf. "I have a bit left but there's a stand in town where you can get some... Hm." As she spoke, she turned back around, placing the can on the counter before giving Karkat another once over. "I take it you don't have much gold on you, do you?"

Gold was not a thing Karkat thought to take with him when he left. He figured if he needed anything he could scavenge for it. He was a skilled hunter after all. But now... He really wished he had brought some with him. He shook his head to answer her question, glancing down at the baby in his arms.

"Right. Dontcha worry about it. I'll help you out then. Around six months or so is when you start feeding them other things. Fruits and such. You might want to look into getting a job of some sort." She gave him a stern look. "Ain't just about you anymore."

Karkat snorted softly, rolling crimson eyes. "Have you seen my skin?"

"Fair point." Jenna hummed softly before she snapped her fingers. "I could use some help around here since my children all left on their own. I'll pay you in things you need in exchange for your help. How's that sound?"

"What kind of help?"

"Picking those heavy apples for one." She pointed at the basket on the table. "I ain't as young as I used to be. I can look after him for you while you do. Give you a break."

"No. I'll help you. But he stays with me." He mumbled softly, a faint growl coming from the back of his throat.

"Protective, eh? Not that I blame ya. Fair 'nough. We got a deal?"

"Yeah. Deal."

* * *

Jenna offered to allow Karkat to stay with her but he was quick to turn down that offer. He was content living in the cabin he had found, away from humans. She had plenty of things to give him however, left over from her children. She gave him a bassinet for Van to sleep in, more glass bottles, plenty of formula and a basket full of cloth diapers. She had to show the troll how to use them and though she was a little wary of what he was, she was still very kind and helpful. She gave Karkat a little hope that perhaps humans weren't bad creatures at all. Not if they were willing to help a creature like him.

* * *

"Gaa gaa!"

"Yeah, yeah, I hear you kid, hold your fucking tits." Karkat grumbled softly, shifting from foot to foot as he shook the glass bottle in his hand. Blue eyes watched the bottle move back and forth causing Karkat to smile softly. "You that hungry?"

"Gagggaaa!" Van cried softly, trying to roll from his place on the bed but had no luck. He was getting close to learning how to roll over though and it made Karkat a little proud.

"Yeah, Yeah. I got it." He chuckled softly as he slipped on the bed, lifting the baby into his arms as he settled back against the headboard. Van grabbed the bottle as Karkat pressed it against his lips, pulling it a bit closer as he started to suckle. "Hungry little fruit cup, hm?" He mumbled softly, relaxing against the headboard as the baby ate.

Van ate quietly, his blue eyes focused on the troll holding him as he did so. It was comfortable, for both. Karkat was finally starting to understand how to take care of a human baby and even enjoyed it. Van gave him something to focus on. Van gave him a reason to wake up in the evening and actually try to do something with his life. Van gave him a reason.

Once Van was done, Karkat placed the empty bottle on the side table and brought the baby to his shoulder to pat his back. The loud burp that greeted his ear only made him smile as he pulled Van back to meet his eyes. "You're getting bigger. Another month or so and you'll be able to have real food."

"Baaah gaahggg." Van answered with a toothless smile as his hands reached out to pat against Karkat's cheeks.

Oh the troll had it bad. There was no denying that he loved the human. Like every lusus loved their grub. It was hard not to love Van. With those big blue eyes and that cute little smile. Karkat never even had a chance.

* * *

Taking care of a child was _exhausting_. Karkat knew it would not be easy but he had not expected it to be so utterly exhausting. Van was up at odd hours during the day and for a creature used to sleeping through the day, it was harder on him. He was trying to change the baby's sleep schedule to accommodate that of a troll's. It was working slowly but there would be some days where Van refused to sleep during the day. That was when Karkat got curtains to cover the windows ad keep the cabin dark.

But even when Van did get around to sleeping during the day, usually Karkat couldn't sleep. He'd just lay on the bed, like he was doing, with his eyes shut. His body would rest but his mind would run, leaving him unable to sleep. It was a usual thing for him. Always had been. But with the strange sleep schedule he now had, his insomnia was not welcomed.

His head tucked against his folded arms as he lay on his stomach, his feet crossed at the end of the bed while Van slept peacefully at his side. The child was growing more and more by the day. He was just starting to sit up on his own, eat normal food and even make more sounds that seemed like words. He was a smart child, that much Karkat had discovered early on. He was alert to his surroundings, especially toward the troll. Van could tell when the troll was in the room and when he was not. He could also tell what type of mood Karkat was in because if the troll was even a bit upset, the child was quick to find a way to pap his cheek, just like Karkat would do when Van was upset.

The necklace that was found with the baby remained around his neck. Karkat had been wary of the strange blue necklace at first, but it seemed to mean something so he kept it. He was worried Van would figure out a way to choke himself with it but the baby liked to clench the pendent in his fist when he slept, so the troll hoped he had nothing to worry about. The pendent was the only thing Van had left from his parents and Karkat didn't have the heart to take it away from him. Especially not when the child enjoyed to chew and fumble with it.

"Kaaa." Karkat peeked an eye open at the soft sound that he knew was meant to be his name. Van laid peacefully beside him, a fist clenching the pendent and his cheek pressed against the pillow. Those beautiful blue eyes met crimson and a toothless smile greeted him.

Karkat hummed softly before slipping his eyes shut once again. Van shifted beside him, sitting up though he was a little wobbly in doing so. He made a few noises as he reached out with his free hand to pap Karkat's cheek. The troll grunted, crinkling his nose at the action. Van smiled and leaned forward, patting at soft black hair before he grasped on a rounded horn.

Crimson eyes snapped open and he quickly sat up, accidentally knocking Van over onto his back. "Fucking hell!" He exclaimed in surprise, a vibrant blush on his cheeks. Van sniffled, blue eyes wide before he curled up and gave a few whimpers. "Shit, no, shh, it's okay." He quickly gathered the boy in his arms, resting his head against his shoulder as he held him tightly. "It's okay, Van. Shh. Don't cry. Don't cry. It's alright."

"Kaaaa." Van mumbled softly, pressing his face into the troll's neck as he hiccuped.

"I'm not mad. It's okay. I'm sorry I yelled. Shhh. Forgive me. You surprised me is all. Have to teach you not to do that." He swallowed hard, his heart pounding against the warmth that flushed through his body. "Gotta be a proper lusus after all."

* * *

Karkat had tried to say no. He really had. But Jenna had been so persistent about it. She said that a growing child needed a place to stay clean and that it wouldn't hurt for him to take a bath every once in a while as well. The solid iron tub had not been an easy thing to move and it hardly fit stuffed between the wall and the small desk that doubled as the kitchen counter but it had fit. The woman was so persistent about giving Karkat things he honestly had no room for. He was starting to think it was part of her way of trying to convince him to find a better house. But he refused to do so.

The air turned cold, proving the change of the seasons. Winter fell over Albion, dusting the forest of Mourningwood in snow. The cabin, since Karkat had spent a good amount of time fixing it, stayed warm with a fire lit in the tiny fire-place. He was busy heating up water for a bath while Van sat on the bed, toying with a teddy bear Jenna had given Karkat to give to the child. The boy was just starting to walk and was finally on solid foods. According to Jenna, he was a fast learner as most babies did not walk until they were at least over a year old. Van was about nine or ten months, ahead of his time really.

It was a few months ago that Karkat noticed something was different with the child. He'd seen the mark on his back from the moment he'd found him but he never thought much about it. It was a marking. A birthmark perhaps which explained the pendent he wore. But there were moments Karkat could not explain. Like how the wind would change when they would go for walks. Or how when he fell asleep the fire was nearly dying but when he awoke, it was alive once more, as if the wind in the room had brought it back to life. Things he could not explain though it made him wonder. If the child was different. If he had some type of powers, than was that the reason he had been abandoned? Because he was... different? Such a realization stuck to Karkat's mind. A mutant child? How could he not relate to such a thing?

"Kaa!" Van squeaked suddenly, gaining the trolls attention.

"What is it?" He asked calmly, glancing over to the child.

"Kaar!" He tugged at the bear's arms, making it bounce up and down with a smile on his face.

"Yeah? You like the bear? Good. You need more toys."

"Kaaarr!" He exclaimed again.

Karkat blinked in slight surprise and moved over to the bed, sitting down beside the child. "What?"

"Kar!"

"Karkat."

"Kar-" And the rest of his name transferred into a bunch of strange sounds.

The troll chuckled softly and pet that head of black hair. "You're getting close. How about a bath, hm? You stink." He crinkled his nose and lowered his head to nuzzle into the child's belly, earning a squeal of laughter. "You stinky boy!" He grinned, tugging up the shirt the boy wore to blow against his belly, earning a series of giggles that warmed the troll's heart.

* * *

"Karr. Karrrkathh. Karrkarrthh. Karkiiiit. Kaaaakaaa."

Karkat snorted softly, glancing up from the book in his hands as Van continued to try to say his name properly. The child sat beside him, the bear in his hands as he played with it. "Getting close there. Kar. Kat. Kaaarrrr. Kaat." And he made the sounds with his mouth as those blue eyes watched him.

"Kar. Kath. Kathh." The boy crinkled his nose. He'd learned a few words already but he seemed determined to learn the troll's name. "Kar... Kat."

Crimson eyes widened slightly. "Say it again."

"Karkat." The T was still a little strange but Van looked up at him with those big blue eyes and a smile that showed off the few teeth that had grown in.

"Ha! That's right!" He chuckled and quickly pulled the boy into his lap. "Look at you! You're growing up so fast!"

"Karkat!" He exclaimed, the grin large on his face as he giggled.

"That's right!" He couldn't keep the smile from his face or the warmth from filling his heart.

* * *

Time passed. Seasons changed and the baby grew. Time passed much too quickly for Karkat's liking and before either of them knew it, the boy had grown into a young child about the age of five. A young child that could walk, talk and understand properly. Over the years, Karkat did his best to teach the boy proper things. Like manners, words and even a little about trolls. It was just the two of them since Jenna passed away a few years back thanks to a rather harsh winter. Without her help, Karkat had to take raising the boy into his own hands and he thought he was doing the best job that he could.

"Karkat." Van mumbled softly from his place at the desk, a pencil in one hand as he worked on learning how to write.

"Need help?" The troll asked softly, shifting off the bed to walk over to the boy.

Van had grown into a cute young human boy with large blue eyes, thick dark hair and bucked-teeth that were just too cute when he smiled. "Can I ask you something?" He mumbled off in Alternian. Karkat had done his best to teach the boy English but considering all Karkat really spoke was Alternian, it turned out to be his first language. Not that the two were all that different. There were just more clicks and sounds in the Alternian language and some words were different.

"Anything." He bent down beside the boy, looking over the few letters he hd written down.

"What happened to my momma?"

It was a question that struck Karkat right to the core. He froze, his heart just about stopping in his chest as crimson met concerned blue. "W-What?"

"My momma. I know..." He glanced down to the paper he had been writing on. "I'm not a troll..."

Karkat swallowed hard and got to his feet, running a hand through his hair. He had not been prepared for this question. He had thought it would come some day but he had not expected it so soon. How could he? He didn't even know what to answer. How could he tell the boy he had been abandoned? Probably because of the strange wind powers he obviously had. Karkat knew what it felt like to be abandoned. He knew the pain of not being wanted and he never wanted Van to know it.

"You're not a troll, Van. Pretty obvious." He swallowed hard and plopped down on the bed, resting his head in his hands. "No horns. No grey skin. You're human."

Van tilted his head back and forth before he slipped off the chair and crawled on the bed beside Karkat. "You won't let me call you papa. Why?"

"Cause I'm not. Shit, Van. I don't know how to answer your questions."

The boy hummed softly. "But Karkat is so smart!" He shifted, letting his legs dangle off the bed as he rest his head against the troll's shoulder.

"You're special, kid. Really special."

"You tell me that a lot."

"Cause it's true." Karkat sighed softly, lifting his head to glance down at the boy leaning against him. After a moment of debate he shifted to pull the boy into his lap, wrapping his arms around him. Van eagerly leaned into his chest, nuzzling for a moment before glancing up at the troll. "You really want to know? You don't want to wait till you're older?"

Van shook his head. "I wanna know."

Karkat inhaled deeply. "I honestly don't know what happened to your momma. I found you in the woods. Alone. Crying and alone. So I took you in cause well, that's what trolls do. I couldn't just leave a defenseless little grub alone in the forest. But as far as I'm concerned, you are mine. That's what a lusus is. A lone troll who takes in a grub as their own. I had one. Never knew his name. Just called him Signless. He took in my brother and I both. Mutant trolls. He could have been culled for doing so but he did anyway and raised us as his own. So, just because you're not a troll... Just because you're human and we don't share the same blood does not make you any less mine."

"Karkat?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

The troll snorted softly. "Yeah, love you too kid."

* * *

"Karkat! Karkat! Quick! Come see!"

The troll perked an eyebrow, turning away from the make-shift kitchen counter to exit the small cabin with the knife he'd been using to chop vegetables still in his hand. "Calm the grubfuck down. What is... Holy shit, Van!" The knife clattered to the ground as Karkat ran forward, crimson eyes wide as he quickly grabbed at the floating boy.

Van giggled endlessly, remaining in the air, just out of Karkat's reach. He floated easily enough, his blue eyes sparkling with life and the grin on his face rather large. "I can fly, Karkat!"

"V-Van!" The troll snapped, his eyes wide as he jumped into the air and grabbed the boy around the waist, pulling him back to the ground. "Nookfucking christ." He mumbled, pulling the boy against his chest as he hugged him tightly. "You could have hurt yourself!"

"Na-uh!" The boy giggled, wiggling against the troll as he slipped his arms around his neck and hooked his thighs against his hips to keep himself up. "The wind is my friend!"

Karkat swallowed hard, his heart pounding as he held the boy, a clawed hand on the back of his head. Seeing Van just floating in the air like that scared him beyond compare. He'd always known the boy was different. He knew something was different. But now he had his proof. And he honestly did not know what to do about it. He took a deep breath to calm himself as he placed Van back to the ground.

"Was that bad?" The boy asked, his eyes wide and full of worry.

"I... No, Van. That wasn't... bad." He shook his head, placing a hand atop that soft raven hair to ruffle it slightly as he knelt to his level. "It was pretty interesting actually. I... don't think most humans can do that."

"Really?" Blue eyes lit up.

"Yeah. You're special, Van."

The boy giggled and tossed himself at the troll who caught him effortlessly. "I'm special cause Karkat loves me!"

The troll snorted softly. "You're special because you were born that way."

"But you saved me." Van spoke softly, pulling back to look the troll in the eyes. "I'm special cause Karkat saved me. Karkat saved me cause I'm special."

"I saved you because I wanted to."

Two small hands came up and papped against both of the troll's cheeks. "My hero."

"I have got to stop reading you romance novels before bed." He rolled his eyes, grabbing those small wrists, planting a kiss to one palm. "Come on kid. Clean up for dinner." Then he moved to his feet, ruffling that hair a bit more before he moved to return to the cabin. But Van stopped him. A small hand wrapped around two of his fingers and tugged him to stop. The troll turned back to him, an eyebrow arched in question as those blue eyes looked up at him with an expression the troll couldn't. "Van?"

A grin came to those little lips, his bucked-teeth prominent as he looked up at the troll. "I'm going to marry you one day, Karkat." He spoke whole-heartedly before planting a kiss against the back of the troll's hand. Then, with a giggle, he bounced off back inside the cabin to clean up for dinner.

Karkat was left standing a little stunned. His heart thumped in his chest, his body felt warm and he came to the sudden realization that the child he had taken in was a hell of a lot smarter than he could have ever expected. A hero, hm? Was it possible? Was it possible he could have taken in a hero without even realizing it? The kid could fly after all. Karkat couldn't even imagine what else he could do. He didn't know enough about humans or the once heroes of Albion to even imagine what Van could be capable of. But there were two things he knew. Van was a good kid and maybe he needed to be around people like him.

* * *

The cool wind rustled the trees while streaks of moonlight slipped through the branches, casting light on their path. Spring was falling on Albion and the baby Karkat had found in the woods would turn another year older very soon. The troll had taken the boy hunting with him for as long as he could remember but now it was time to actually teach the boy how to hunt. He was old enough. He didn't have claws or fangs like Karkat did but the boy was smart.

They wondered a good deal away from the cabin, farther than Karkat had ever been in search for something to hunt for dinner. After living in the Mourningwood forest for years, Karkat had learned the place had little animals to offer. He never knew why though he assumed it had something to do with the cemetery he had been warned to stay away from.

"Karkat." Van whispered softly, shifting from beside the troll as they walked, glancing up at him. "Something feels weird."

The troll perked a brow, pulling the hood over his head a little tighter. "What do you mean?"

"The air... It feels weird." The boy crinkled his nose, shivering slightly at the wind before he turned his head in a different direction.

"Is it bad?"

"I... I don't know."

"Which way?"

A small hand pointed to the right of where they were walking. "That way."

Karkat nodded as he reached down to grasp Van's hand before turning in the direction the boy had pointed. As they moved, Karkat could sense the shift in the air. It smelled different though he couldn't place as to why. It was only a few minutes later when the sound of voiced reached his pointed ears. His eyes narrowed as they moved forward toward the voices. They were male, deep and human. That much he could tell.

With a grunt, Karkat picked up the boy, pulling him against his side as he launched into the air. The branch creaked under their combined weight but Van remained silent as he held to Karkat's side. The troll narrowed his eyes and allowed his senses to take over. Five of them. Human men. What could they be doing in the forest so far away from anything?

"Stay here." The troll whispered softly, sitting the boy back against the tree trunk on the branch. Blue eyes flashed with alarm but Karkat shook his head and gave the boy a soft kiss to the forehead. "I'll be right back. Just stay here, okay?" After a few seconds of contemplation the boy nodded and took the leather satchel Karkat offered him, clutching it to his chest.

With a bit of hesitation, Karkat jumped down from the tree and took off through the woods toward the voices. They were not too far away and when he came up to the humans, he paused, slipping into the shadows of the trees to watch the five men dressed in red.

The men were scattered about, two of them standing around a small fire while one sat on a log with a gun in his hands. Another was busy digging through a large bag while another was leaning against a tree with his eyes to the sky. They were all dressed the same, red and white uniforms that screamed military. Each had a pistol to their side and a larger gun resting near them. Karkat had no idea why a group of soldiers would be so far into the forest. He recalled Jenna telling him about a Military station somewhere in the woods, but it was past the cemetery and he was sure he had not taken Van anywhere near that place.

"General's gonna be real upset when we get back." One of the men mumbled; the one leaning against the tree.

"We did our job. All I care about is getting home. Alive." The one on the log spoke.

"Can't wait to get back to that new born, ey?" One standing around the fire.

"Anxious really. Can ya blame me?"

"Wouldn't dream of it. We've all got family, Jones. Getting home alive is a constant desire."

"Damn Hollow-Men." The one digging through the bag hissed, his anger obvious. A sudden saddness fell over the men that made Karkat narrow his eyes. The air shifted when one of the men decided to talk about his daughter and it brightened the other men faces. They went on about their children, happy to have something to preoccupy them.

"You should have seen her!" One of them exclaimed with a smile on his face, lifting his hands into the air. "She called me daddy so perfectly. I was so proud."

Karkat flinched when a small hand suddenly grasped the side of his cloak and tugged. Crimson eyes glanced down to see the small boy standing beside him, a fist clenched tightly into his cloak as his blue eyes focused on the men a few feet away. The troll hissed softly and quickly gathered the boy up in his arms.

"What are you doing?" He hissed into his ear softly. "I told you to wait for me."

"You were gone... for a long time. Who are they?" Van wiggled in Karkat's hold to get a better look at the men who had not yet noticed them.

"They're soldiers."

"Humans." He gasped softly, blue eyes wide as he tried to lean out of the troll's arms.

Something about the way the boy's eyes lit up made Karkat's heart sink. Van had not seen another human since Jenna passed away and he had been much to young to even remember her. After her passing, Karkat saw no reason to return to the village but now... He was reconsidering it. With a grunt, he shifted the boy in his arms and turned to head back home, all the while Van kept his eyes on the humans until they could no longer be seen.

* * *

After seeing the soldiers, it was all Karkat could think about. He'd known in the beginning he wasn't the best candidate fr a lusus but he had raised Van properly and the boy was about as healthy as could be. He always considered if he'd made the right choice in taking the boy in. He hadn't been all that stable when he took him in. He'd been heart-broken and lost. A part of him was relying on the baby to save him somehow and honesty, Van had saved Karkat. He'd given the troll hope again. He'd reminded the troll what love was. It was something he'd really needed back then.

But now... Now, Van was getting older and he would only continue to grow. He would grow up and have questions that Karkat could not answer. Because his limit of human knowledge ended with Van. The boy was teaching him about humans but when the day came that Van would need Karkat to teach him... The troll had nothing to teach. He knew humans were vastly different from trolls in a lot of ways. But Van was even more different. The boy had powers. He was special. Hero or not, the child was something spectacular.

And he meant everything to the troll.

Van had managed to fit into a corner of Karkat's heart that he never knew had been available. The boy made a nice little nest there and there was no way he would ever leave. Not that Karkat wanted him to. But the troll wasn't stupid. No matter how he personally felt, he _knew_ Van needed human interaction. The only issue with that was... Karkat didn't trust the humans to be as accepting of him as Jenna had been. The woman never saw his horns. She only assumed he had some type of skin disease. She never even knew the truth.

So Karkat had a choice to make. A choice that would be the hardest thing he'd ever done in his life. Harder than choosing to leave Alternia behind. Harder than leaving his friends. Harder than leaving his moirail and breaking his heart. He really was a coward. He knew it. He was willing to admit it. But it was the right decision. He was sure of it.

* * *

"Van. Come here for a minute." The troll's voice was even as he called from the bed he sat upon. The boy glanced up from the floor, pausing in the drawing he was doing. He tilted his head slightly at the troll who patted his lap before getting to his feet to crawl into the lap that was offered to him. "We need to have a talk."

"A talk?" Blue eyes widened slightly as he sat sideways on the troll's lap. "Have I been bad?"

"No, of course not." The troll smiled softly, shaking his head as a hand rest on the boy's back. "I just... I want to ask you something."

"Okay." The boy wiggled slightly on the troll's lap as he folded his hands and looked up at him with an expecting expression.

"Would you like to meet other humans? Be around them? Be apart of them?" Karkat's throat grew tight at the end of his questioning but the boy did not notice.

"I... Yes! I would love to!" He shifted on the troll's lap to face him fully, a leg on either side of the troll's lap. "Are you..." His face lit up. "Are you going to take me to the village, Karkat?"

"I... It's something I've been thinking about a lot lately."

"Really?" He spoke with the awe only a child could have.

"Yes. I... I was thinking, You need to be around your own kind. You'll be seven soon. You'll start growing even more and there's so much about your kind that I know nothing about."

"We can learn together!" Van said with a smile that sliced through the troll's heart.

"I... I don't think we can, Van."

The boy's smile faltered "Huh? Why not?"

"Because, Van... I'm a troll. I'm not human. I'm something humans hunt. Something they fear and send heroes to kill. I can't... I can't go with you." Karkat was surprised he'd managed to get the words out with an even voice but he failed to notice the prickle of tears in the corners of his eyes.

Blue eyes widened for a moment before realization settled over the boy. He was awfully smart for his age. Karkat knew that. Cause the boy was so special. "I'm not going." He stated suddenly. "I'll stay with Karkat."

"Van..." He took a deep breath. "I'm not... Ugh, this is hard." He rubbed a hand over his face. "I'm not giving you a choice." He mumbled softly.

"W-What...?" The boy gasped softly, tears filling his eyes suddenly. "I... No! Karkat! No! I'm sorry! I didn't, I don't need humans!" He suddenly launched forward, slipping his arms around Karkat's neck to hug him tightly as he started to cry. "Don't leave me. You can't leave me. You found me! Why don't you want me anymore?!"

Karkat's throat tightened as he wrapped his arms tightly around the boy. "Don't be silly. Of course I want you. I'll always want you, Van. But you're growing up. I never should have kept you in the first place. And not because I didn't want you." He was quick to remind the shaking boy. "But because I'm not good for you. You need to be with your own kind, Van. I... I know what's best for you."

"I don't want to!" He pulled back suddenly, tear-filled blue meeting equally tear-filled crimson. A hiccup came from his throat and his crying paused as he watched the one person he loved more than anything start to cry.

"You think I want to, Van? Believe me. I don't." His voice shook and his lips curled over his fangs in frustration as a few red tears fell from his eyes. "This wasn't easy for me to decide. I don't _want_ to give you up. But this isn't about what I _want_. This is about what is best for you. It is best for you to be with your own kind. And... the same can be said for me. "

"But... But... No." The boy let out a whine as he pressed his face against the troll's chest. "I don't... I don't need them... I just need you."

Karkat closed his eyes, a few tears leaking out as he held the boy against hims tightly, resting a cheek against his soft raven hair. His chest constricted and felt as if there was a heavy pressure against his heart. It hurt. It hurt more than he could ever describe. "Please... Van Please... Understand..."

"I do." The boy mumbled softly, his fists clenched tightly against the fabric of Karkat's shirt. "I understand perfectly." He took a deep shaky breath. "I'm growing up. I need to be around humans who can teach me how to be human yet all you can teach me is how to be a troll. And that's not what I am. I understand, Karkat. I just... I don't want to."

"Sometimes... Growing up means doing things you don't want to." The entire conversation reminded him of the one he'd had so very long ago with his lusus about hiding his blood color.

Van let out a soft whimper, his hands tightening on Karkat's shirt. "Will I... Will you visit me?"

"I... I can't. I'm going back to Alternia."

And then the little boy broke down. His sobs were heartbreaking and the only thing Karkat could do was hold him tightly as his heart shattered to tiny little pieces and he whispered "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry" over and over again.

* * *

"You keep it." Van spoke softly, the pendent that never left his neck dangling between them as he held it out.

Karkat's heart was in his throat as he took the necklace. The glow died as it touched his palm. He squeezed it tightly, holding it to his chest as he nodded. "I'll cherish it."

The boy stood tall, looking a lot older than he actually was as he looked up at the troll. "I'm ready."

The troll nodded, stuffing the necklace in his pocket before he took the boy's hand and lead him away from their home. Van had nothing with him aside from the worn clothes on his back. His feet were bare as was normal for the boy but they were dirty and Karkat wondered if he should have given the boy a bath first. But it hurt too much to think about.

From the moment they had come to the conclusion that Van was going to live with humans, everything had been a blur. Karkat moved automatically, without his mind focusing properly. He wasn't capable of doing so because if he actually took the time to stop and think, he would break down. That was something he couldn't let Van see. The boy was being strong so he had to be strong as well.

Before they reached the village, they stumbled upon the same group of soldiers they had weeks before. They were resting in a small clearing and gave Karkat an idea. These were soldiers. Men who could obviously be trusted, at least enough with a boy. Especially with how they had spoken about their own children, Karkat hoped they would take sympathy on a lost little boy who could hardly speak English.

The troll grabbed the boy and ducked behind a tree, dropping down to his level. Blue eyes were wide as he grasped his shoulders and swallowed hard. "You'll go to them. They're soldiers. They'll keep you safe and take you to a new home." Tears welled in those beautiful blue eyes but the boy nodded. "Remember what I told you?"

Van nodded, swallowing against the lump in his throat. His cheeks grew red with distress and the tears in his eyes blurred his vision. "Speak Alternian. I don't have a name. I don't know who you are. I was raised... by wolves. Never... speak of you."

"Exactly. Good boy." He dipped down to place a soft kiss against his forehead where he lingered for a moment. "I'll never forget you." He whispered softly, his eyes closing tightly against the tears in his eyes.

"I... I'll never forget you, Karkat."

Blue met crimson and for a moment, they just stared at one another before the troll nodded and turned the boy to face the soldiers a few feet away. "Good. Now go. I'll be watching."

Van nodded numbly, glancing up at the troll before he slowly took a step forward. Karkat moved to hid behind a tree as the boy stepped through the bush into the clearing. One of the soldiers noticed him immediately and called out to him. Van froze, his eyes going wide, still full of tears. The soldiers moved to their feet and approached the boy cautiously. They spoke to him, earning answers in a language they did not understand.

Karkat swallowed hard, tugging the hood of his cloak around his face tighter. The words of the soldiers faded from his ears and all he could focus on was their kind smiles. Van was safe. He knew that. But he couldn't tear himself away. He could only watch as they spoke to the boy who was still shaking.

And then those blue eyes turned back to him, catching his gaze and ripped through his body like a bolt of lightning. Van couldn't do it. Karkat could see it. He could see how the boy itched to run back to him, how the tears fell from his eyes and his lower lip started to shake. One of the soldier's shifted to block their view, moving between them. Van was quick to gasp and push the solider out of the way only to find that the troll he had loved so dearly was now gone. His legs ached for him to run after the troll but he knew he would never catch up. The soldiers were kind. They were where he was meant to be.

* * *

Numb. Legs moved on their own and did not stop until they reached familiar territory. Karkat had no memory of traveling back through Albion. Nor did he care for it. By the time his feet touched Alterian soil, his knees were quick to follow. His claws dug into the dirt as he crumpled over, his body shaking as vibrant red tears fell from his eyes. His throat clenched, his breath was hard to find and he had no control over any of it.

His body released its pain in the only way it knew how. He gasped for breath, his eyes closed tightly as he reached for the pendent in his pocket. He clutched the strange thing in his fist as he brought it to his quaking lips, feeling to cool metal against them. A growl tore through his throat and he was on his feet once again, his body turned back toward Albion. The urge to run back was strong. The urge to snatch the boy back and take him to Alternia was overwhelming. But he _knew_ better.

Slowly, the troll moved. He ripped the cloak from his head, tossing it to the ground as he fell to his knees once again. Claws dug at the dirt frantically, growls coming from his throat as he did so. His eyes were wide, the crimson within them shrinking against the black as his entire body shook. Dirt clumped over his claws but he paid it no mind as he shoved the pendent into the tiny hole he had made. He paused, staring at the thing that sent a spark of pain through his body before he quickly covered it up with dirt.

A sob break through his throat and the troll fell to his side, curling up as he finally allowed himself to cry. He would never second guess his choice. He knew he had made the right one. But it broke his heart and absolute destroyed him. Never could he allow anyone to get so close to him again when he knew it would turn out this way. He had known along the path he took would lead him here. Bu even so, he would not have changed a thing.

* * *

The pure exhaustion from walking for days on end and from his heartbreak had made Karkat pass out on the ground, near the pendent he had buried. When crimson eyes finally opened again, the sun was high in the sky and his body felt as though it had been struck by a large rock. He groaned softly, rubbing at his dry burning eyes as he sat up slowly. His chest still ached and his throat felt as if he'd yelled at the top of his lungs all night. He let out a soft sigh, running a dirty hand through his hair as he glanced up.

The breath paused in his throat.

Flowers. Everywhere. Beautiful flowers spread out over the large clearing he had stumbled into the night before. A clearing that had been bare of everything but grass. The flowers varied in shape, size and color. Purple, blue, green, red. So beautiful that it brought tears to his eyes.

Karkat swallowed hard and moved slowly, clawing at the disturbed dirt at his side. He found what he was searching for and brought the pendent out from the dirt, brushing it off against his pant leg before bringing it to his face. The strange blue waves had a faint glow to them that made his heart swell. Crimson glanced around the area slowly for a few minutes before he unclasped the pendent and slipped it around his neck.

The troll then moved to his feet, gathered up his discarded cloak and moved through the flowers. He would make the place his permanent home. It was the easiest decision he had ever made in his life time. It was time he started to live for himself. Maybe then he could heal his heart properly.

* * *

_There's only one thing left here to say_

_Love's never too late._

_I've broken free from those memories_

_I've let it go._

_I've let it go._

_And two goodbyes led to this new life._

_Don't let me go._

_Don't let me go._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is very bittersweet for me. Because fuck if writing all of that did not just break my heart into tiny little pieces. But I broke 100K with this chapter and I don't know if you understand how much that means to me. Hurting Karkat is one thing that will always destroy me but now... I think you guys may come to understand a few more things about him. There's still so much left to happen in this story and I'm excited for it to continue.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who has stuck by the story this long. It means the world to me. It really does. 
> 
> Please let me know what you thought. Remember, Kudos are great but you can only kudo a chapter fic once, so comments are always wonderful. 
> 
> Thanks again!
> 
> ~Addy~


	13. Month 7 - Decemeber - Moirails

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, guys, I know. After that recent upd8(and I hope you know what I mean), I feel like we could all use a giant hug. This chapter was going to be a good deal of fluff originally but after what happened well... I think I might have gone a little overboard with that fluff. But hey, can you blame me? Our babies need some happy time. And they certianly received it. 
> 
> In a side note, I do apologize for taking so long with this. I wrote 20+k in halloween fics and then I was burnt out. And then the upd8 and well. I'm just really glad I got this done before Halloween!
> 
> A song or two to listen to? [Here](http://youtu.be/jN1I-w6qAOs) , [here](http://youtu.be/Km75Pc0YzdQ) and [here](http://youtu.be/Yk9G7OyKwLM)
> 
> Enjoy!

Winter fell upon Albion and with the bristling cool wind came a blanket of snow that coated most of the land. The beautiful sparkling white was untouched in most areas, leaving the country in a more beautiful and peaceful state than was normal. There was something special about winter in Albion. Something about the quiet cool air and the chilling wind that left the land in a seemingly forever state of serenity. People preferred to stay inside during the cool weather, leaving the snow mostly untouched aside from the normal pathways.

Winter was John's favorite time of year. Aside from Christmas, which was his favorite holiday, winter made John feel warm inside. The cold wind, the beautiful snow and the quiet was a nice change for a busy hero. Bowerstone had always been a bit of a mess during winter so he rarely had the chance to enjoy the snow. But as the blue clad hero flew over Oakfield, he was happy to find the place coated in a thick blanket of snow that was mostly untouched. The village was always lovely but John thought it was even more beautiful with the glistening snow coating everything. Including his home.

Being away from home for a month was nothing new to the hero but there was always a sense of calm when he returned home after such a long trip. Snow piled against his unused door but with a flick of the wrist, it all blew away, piling on either side of the door. He was quick to push open the door and enter his dark empty home. He shivered slightly at the coolness and didn't take his time in dropped his bags to start a fire. The wind howled outside his home, shaking the closed windows slightly as he tossed wood into the brick fireplace. It took a few tries for him to get it started but it soon flared to life, casting the cottage in a warm glow that filled his heart.

John smiled softly as he moved to his feet, rubbing his gloved hands over the long sleeves of his thick tunic. He was smart to change into his winter clothing before traveling to Oakfield. When he left Bowerstone only a few days before, he could sense the snow storms coming. Rose had asked him to remain for a few days but John wanted to come home. There was someone waiting for him and he wasn't willing to make the troll wait any longer than he needed to. So he said his goodbyes to the Lalonde's and returned home, bracing the storm that still left his bones chilled.

Three bags sat on the floor near the kitchen table and John pulled one of them onto the table. He tossed another one near the bedroom before pulling the heavier one into a chair. He'd left with one small bag and returned with three medium-sized ones. He had planned on bringing back things for Karkat but he started to think he went a little overboard. Not that he could help it. Everything made him think of the troll. Dave noticed not long into their adventures and really seemed to enjoy teasing the wind hero about it.

There was maybe an hour or so before sunset and though John was sure Karkat wouldn't mind at all if he came by before dark, there was someone else he needed to see. He dug through the bag on the table, chewing on his bottom lip before he found what he was looking for. With a grin on his face, he tucked the thing into the folds of his winter tunic before pulling his hood up over his windblown black hair. The thick fabric was wonderful for his chilled bones and he made sure to tell Rose to thank Kanaya for him when she had the chance.

The wind was crisp as John left his home, allowing it to lift him so he could float over the glistening village. He saw a villager or two wandering about in the snow and it brought a soft smile to his face. There was always something so warm and comforting about freshly fallen snow, John just couldn't put his finger on it. It left his heart warm even against the chilling wind that cut through the thick fabric of his tunic. Maybe flying had been a bad idea but his destination wasn't all that far away.

Two sets of foot prints, one smaller than the other, pressed into the snow where John landed. He smiled fondly at the footprints and took a moment to appreciate the small man of snow in front of the cottage. He knocked on the door three times before taking a step back. He heard shuffling and when the door finally opened, he couldn't help the smile that came to his face.

"John!" Annabelle smiled, her eyes lighting up as she took in the hero on the other side of her door. "You're back."

"Just got back." He nodded and when he reached for her with one arm, Annabelle leaned into him, allowing the two of them to share a small friendly hug.

"Hero!" Casey jumped down from her spot at the kitchen table to run at him.

"Casey!" John was quick to release Annabelle so he could swoop the little blonde girl up into his arms. He entered the home, hugging her to his chest as Annabelle closed the door behind them. "Oh, you've gotten heavy!" He chuckled softly, bouncing the giggling girl in his arms. "You've gotten bigger!"

"Mama says I grew an inch!" Casey exclaimed as she pulled back to meet John's face. Her cheeks were rosy red and her eyes were bright with life. Oh, John had missed her.

"You did?" He gasped, putting her back down on her feet. "Well, look at that! You _have_ grown!" And she sure had. It was easy to tell the girl was a little taller and little thinner after a month.

"Hero grew too!" Casey pointed up at him with a grin as she glanced between him and her mother. "You're taller than mama!"

"He's always been taller than me." Annabelle pointed out as she came up beside John, looking him up and down. "But, Casey is right. You have become taller."

John flushed softly, rubbing his forearm. "Yeah? I didn't notice."

"You've filled out a bit more." Annabelle spoke with an appreciative tone. "You look very handsome."

He smiled softly, reaching up to pull down his hood, revealing his messy windblown hair. "Thank you." He gave her a nod before he dropped down to Casey's level. "Guess what, Casey?"

"What?" The girl's eyes grew wide and she leaned forward on her toes.

"I've brought you a present."

She gasped, her mouth forming an O as her eyes lit up. "Really?"

"Sure did." A smile tugged at his lips as he reached into the fold of his tunic to pull out a wooden tiara. It was shaped for a child, hand-carved and a dark brown color. Embedded into the wood were small sparkling jewels that varied in color. "I went to Aurora and when I saw this little thing, well it made me think of you." He reached forward and placed the little tiara onto her head, nestled perfectly in her thick blonde hair. "My little princess."

Casey gasped softly, her face lighting up as she brought both hands up to touch the smooth polished wood gently. "I'm a princess?"

"You sure are."

"And you're my hero!" She giggled and jumped forward so John could catch her.

"I am!" He chuckled as he moved to his feet with her in his arms. "Do you like it?"

"I love it!" She gigged, hugging him around the neck as her feet kicked. "Now I have two things to treasure!" She wiggled out of John's arms so the hero put her back on her feet gently only to watch her run off to the kitchen table. She snatched up the familiar bear before running back to show it to John. "See! Mr. Bear!" She then hugged the soft bear to her chest as she twisted from side to side. "A present from Karkat and now one from my hero!"

"Aren't you just the luckiest little girl in the world?" Annabelle spoke with a smile, happy that her daughter was so happy.

"I am!" She bounced. "Hero, when can we go see Karkat again?"

"Ah, I'm actually going to go see him right now."

Her face lit up. "Can I go? Mama?"

"Ah." Annabelle glanced at John.

"Actually," John moved down to her level with a soft smile on his lips, "I haven't seen Karkat in a month so I was hoping to spend all night with him. But, how about tomorrow? It's going to be late soon and it's a little too cold for you to be out right now."

"Mama?" Casey looked up with hopeful eyes.

"That sounds fine."

"Yay! We can play in the snow!" She giggled and bounced around in a circle, clutching the bare to her chest.

"We sure can!" John moved to stand up straight as he pulled the hood back over his hair. "I'll come back to pick you up tomorrow."

"Okay!" Casey pressed against John's leg, giving the male a hug around the waist that he tried to return with a soft smile. Then she pulled away and ran back to the kitchen table where she had been playing with a few dolls.

"See you tomorrow then."

"Bye Hero!"

He chuckled, glancing at Annabelle who gave him a smile. "Tomorrow then. Be safe." She told him with a nod.

"Thanks. Stay warm." And with that he slipped back out into the bitter cold air.

John took a few minutes to stop at his home to pick up one of the bags he'd brought back with him. The fire was roaring, spreading warmth throughout the small home. He checked the fire, poking and moving logs around to make sure it would be fine for when he returned. His bones ached from the cold and he wanted a warm bed to return home to. Though, he was sure Karkat's bed would be plenty warm. His cheeks flushed at the thought and he quickly moved away from the fire to snatch up the leather satchel and pull it over his shoulder.

Nervous was an understatement. The swirling in his stomach and the fast beat of his heart was a point beyond nervous though he wasn't sure what it meant. He knew nothing had changed between the troll and him. He knew that when he saw Karkat again, everything would be fine. But that didn't keep him from being nervous or worrying. A month was a long span of time to not speak to someone who he previously spent every day with. There was always that tug of worry. Those what ifs. But they were things John had to push away as he pushed off the ground. He would blame the flush of his cheeks on the cold wind and his racing heartbeat on being tired.

The forests of Oakfield were untouched and John could see snow coating the branches beautifully. He felt a soft sense of warmth in his racing heart as he flew because, well, this was Karkat. He was going to go see Karkat after so long and he really hoped the troll wouldn't mind if he just wrapped him up in a tight hug and didn't let go for a while. Excitement mixed with his nerves and he pushed forward, increasing his speed against the cool wind that bent to accommodate him. Even though it blew through his thick tunic and chilled his bones, the idea of seeing Karkat again after so long was enough to keep him warm.

Entering Alternia was like a smack in the face. The air was thicker and such a different type of bitter cold it left John reeling a bit. He hadn't expected the dip in temperature and he was even more thankful for his thick hero garb. It was a decent barrier against the thick bitter air though he knew he couldn't handle being outside in it for too long. As he came over the tall tree tops and was able to spot Karkat's home, something stuck him as odd.

The flowers were gone, which was to be expected with such cold weather but it was still a little off for the hero to see. The area was coated in thick snow and as John lowered to the ground, he couldn't help but notice the snow was completely untouched. He tilted his head in confusion as his boots landed in the thick snow and he glanced around the area, taking in the soft calm of the area. He swallowed hard after a moment and moved toward Karkat's cabin to knock on the door a few times. The sun had yet to set but he had a sinking feeling that something was wrong. Karkat would forgive him later for waking him, he always did.

After a moment, there was nothing. So John lifted his hand and knocked his fist against the door with a bit more urgency. The soft thud from inside made his breath finally escape his lung and his body flush with warmth. Karkat was inside. Karkat was okay. He heard grumbling and something hit the ground with a "thunk" before the door creaked and opened a sliver.

Blue eyes widened at the troll peering through the dark slit of the door. Karkat's skin looked so dark it was confusion and his eyes were so pale, John wasn't sure what to think. That face and one clawed hand gripping the door was all John could see. He swallowed hard and forced a smile, lifting a hand in a wave.

"H-Hey Karkat."

Wine eyes narrowed, a lip curling over dangerously sharp teeth as Karkat gave John a good once over. "Fuck." He grumbled before he disappeared and slammed the door shut.

John stood there for a moment attempting to comprehend what he had just witnessed. "Karkat?" He mumbled softly before raising a hand to knock on the door once again. "Karkat! Hey! What's wrong?" He panicked slightly, chewing on his lower lip as he pressed a palm against the wooden door. "Open up!"

"Go away!" The soft voice from within called and it sounded a little sore and cracked.

"Karkat!" John snapped softly, his heart sinking to his stomach. "I thought we were okay! You told me we were okay when I left! Is this about Dave? I'm sorry, Karkat! Please, talk to me!"

"This isn't about that insufferable asshole!"

"Then what is it?!" John pressed his blunt nails against the door, clawing at his slightly as his breath caught in his throat. "What did I do?"

"You're taller than me!"

It took a moment for those words to register in John's mind. He was frozen before letting his hand drop to his side. "What?"

"You got taller than me!"

"I..." The hero looked down at himself. He had always been just a little shorter than Karkat and at times, they seemed to be the same height. Annabelle had pointed out he'd grown so it only made sense that he was now taller than the troll. But why... was that a problem? "I... I don't understand why that's.. A problem?"

"Asshole."

"Hey!" John snapped softly, banging a fist against the door. "Don't get angry at me for something I can't help! It's been a month, Karkat! What's gotten into you? I missed you!"

Karkat released a soft sigh from the other side of the door. "I missed you too."

"So open the door!"

"No!"

"Why not?!"

"Because I don't want to."

John inhaled deeply through his nose, wondering why the hell Karkat would be acting in such a way. Was he really upset that John was now taller than him, or was it something else? "I brought you chocolate."

There was a moment of silence; a moment where John actually considered that Karkat wouldn't open the door, before the knob clicked and Karkat pulled open the door to reveal his sunken dark face again. "You did?"

John offered a soft warm smile. "Of course I did. I brought you books and some other things too." He shrugged his shoulder, motioning to the satchel at his side. "You just have to let me in."

Crimson eyes narrowed before they were gone and the door was left open. John perked an eyebrow but pushed open the door so he could slip inside. The cabin was almost pitch black inside and about as cold as the outside. He narrowed his eyes as he glanced around, finding Karkat sitting on the edge of his bed with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders.

"Karkat?" He questioned softly, dropping the satchel to the floor as he moved toward the troll. "Are you alright?"

Karkat sniffed softly, using the blanket wrapped around his fists to rub against his darkened nose. "I'm fine."

John chewed on his lower lip as he ducked down to get a better look at Karkat's face. "I thought you might be happier to see me."

Crimson glanced up as a lip curled over sharp fangs. "I am happy to see you."

"You sure look it." He sighed softly.

"If you don't like it you can leave."

John let out a soft sigh and moved forward, wrapping his arms around Karkat's shoulders as he bent down to hug the troll. Karkat was quick to wrap his arms around John's back and press his overwhelmingly warm cheek against the hero's neck. Blue eyes narrowed and all it took was a soft cough for John to realize what was wrong.

"You're sick." He pulled back suddenly, gathering Karkat's warm face between his hands to search pale crimson eyes. "Have you been taking care of yourself?"

Karkat sniffed, crinkling his nose in a cute manner. "Not much I can do about it." His voice was hoarse which made John think his throat was sore.

"It's freezing in here, Karkat. How long have you been like this?"

"A few days. I never get sick." He spoke with a soft shrug.

John hummed softly. "Are you really mad at me for being taller than you now?"

"You were gone for a while."

"Well, yeah, you knew I would be." Karkat just shrugged and lowered his eyes to the floor. "So, are you?" John asked again.

"Not really."

"You just didn't want me to see you sick?"

"I'm fine."

"You are not fine." John stated, removing his hands from Karkat's warm face. "I think you have a fever. I don't know anything about how trolls work but I know sick when I see it."

"I'll be fine."

"Karkat, you have to take care of it."

"I am."

"No, you're not." He sighed softly, rubbing a hand through his hair and pushed down his hood in the process. "You need someone to take care of you. And that someone is me."

"What? No." The troll snapped, his eyes narrowing as they glanced up at the hero. "That's such a pale fucking thing and I'm very uncomfortable with it."

John perked a dark eyebrow. "Uncomfortable? Karkat, it's _me_. It's not like you don't know me or anything. You trust me, don't you?"

"Eh." Karkat rolled his head, pulling the blanket tighter around his shoulder and pushed it against his mouth.

"I'm hurt." Blue eyes rolled. "Well, either way, you don't have a choice in this. You're sick and you need to be taken care of."

"I don't want to bother you."

"You're not. I want to. I mean, it's been a month Karkat." He smiled softly and leaned down to plant a soft kiss to a warm dark cheek. "Taking care of you means I get to spend all this time with you and I'm more than okay with that."

The troll grunted softly, rubbing at his nose as he shrugged. "Fine. Whatever. I don't feel like arguing with you."

"Good." John smiled and pushed against Karkat's shoulder, making the troll lay down. "Now, just rest. I'm going to gather some things." Karkat just grunted when John pulled another blanket over him and let his eyes slip shut. Who was he to tell the hero no if he wanted to waste his time taking care of him? It wasn't like he didn't want John to. He just was never in a good state of mind when he was sick. Which was probably why he agreed to letting the human take care of him in the first place.

* * *

When Karkat woke, he felt warm. Very warm. He crinkled his nose and nuzzled more into the warm soft blankets that coated his body. He curled up, pulling his knees closer to his stomach as he tugged at a blanket to peek over it. He blinked a few times, taking in the large room, the soft light and the warm atmosphere. He wasn't home. This was not his home. So where was he?

"Oh! You're awake." John pulled at the curtain that separated the bedroom from the rest of the cottage as he entered with a soft smile. "How are you feeling?"

"Where am I?" Karkat mumbled softly, his eyes narrow as he pulled a blanket against his mouth, making his words muffled.

"My house." John said with a shrug as he moved to sit on the edge of the bed. He reached over, brushing thick bangs away from Karkat's forehead to place a few fingers against his soft skin. Those cool fingers felt nice against his flushed skin so Karkat allowed it. "You're still very warm. Are you hungry?"

"Why am I here?"

"Well, After looking around your house I realized you really nothing suitable for taking care of a sick person and you passed out before I could even talk to you about it. So I bundled you up and flew you here. I hope you don't mind." He smiled sheepishly. "But it's easier to take care of you at my place."

Crimson eyes looked over that softly flushed face. "It's fine." Karkat mumbled, not noticing his own cheeks flush red as he tugged the blanket over his face.

"Great! So, are you hungry? I made soup. It should help with your throat. Jane used to make it anytime one of the kids in town got sick. It should help your fever."

Karkat just shrugged under his mountain of blankets. "Whatever."

John hummed softly, brushing hair away from Karkat's face with a soft smile. It was strange to see the troll's normally grey skin so dark and flushed with color. John assumed trolls skin darkened with sickness instead of lightening like a human's would. "Alright. I'll be right back." With a pat to a warm cheek, John left to get the troll some soup.

Karkat grumbled and rolled over onto his back. He hadn't meant to let himself get so sick. He just hadn't been thinking about it. He rarely became sick so when the cold started, he didn't think anything of it. Not until he was stuck in bed and didn't feel like moving at all. He rubbed his nose and slowly moved to sit up. His bones creaked and his muscles ached at the movement. His entire body felt sore and he couldn't breathe through his nose. Ugh, he hated it. His mind was fuzzy, probably from the fever, and when John returned with a bowl of steaming soup, Karkat didn't bother to stop the human was slipping onto the bed beside him.

"You are not feeding that to me." Karkat grumbled softly, pushing away the blankets as he reached for the bowl and spoon with shaking hands.

"Karkat, you're shaking." John set the bowl down on a little stand beside the bed before he grabbed a blanket to wrap around Karkat's shoulders. The troll already wore thick black long-sleeved clothing but it didn't help against a fever. "It's warm in here but you need to keep warm."

"I'm not a grub, I can feed myself."

"Shh." John shook his head, wrapping an arm around Karkat's shoulders before he pulled the bowl back into his lap. He was careful as he balanced the bowl and dipped the spoon inside. Karkat mumbled under his breath but didn't fight it when John pressed a spoon full of soup against his lips. He parted them reluctantly and took in the spoonful of warm liquid. It warmed his mouth and felt amazing going down the back of his sore throat. It didn't taste all that bad either.

So Karkat sat there obediently as John fed him warm soothing soup. He would later blame it on his fuzzy sick coated mind that he allowed such a thing to happen. Such a... pale thing. But his mind was too fuzzy and he felt too warm and comfortable to truly make it stop. John seemed adamant about taking care of the troll and Karkat didn't have the strength to fight him on it. He could remember doing similar things for his former moirail and though the thoughts stung just a bit, he was left with a warm feeling in the middle of his chest.

"There." John spoke softly, dropping the spoon in the empty bowl before placing it on the side table. "Feel any better?"

With a full stomach and a warm throat, Karkat did in fact feel a bit better. He hummed softly and leaned into John's warmth, twisting his body slightly to press against the human. "You're warm."

John chuckled softly. "So are you. Must be that fever." A cool hand lifted to card through sweat coated black hair, though John didn't seem to mind. "You should get some more sleep."

"Mmm." Karkat shifted, pressing his face into John's neck as a palm pressed against his chest. "Comfortable."

The hero couldn't help but laugh as his cheeks flushed. "You're a bit different when you're sick, huh? Here." He shifted, adjusting Karkat until the troll was laying down once again, his head resting on a soft pillow. "Get some sleep." He pulled the blankets up the troll's body, covering him to make sure he stayed warm before laying down behind him over the blankets. "I'm right here." He pressed close, letting an arm rest over Karkat's waist though there was a pile of blankets between them.

Karkat inhaled through his parted lips deeply, shutting his eyes as he curled inward, pressing back against John. He felt warm, comfortable and safe. And for a sick troll, that was all that mattered.

* * *

"You're still warm." John commented softly, pressing his forehead against the curve of Karkat's neck.

The troll grunted softly, cracking open an eye to glance back at the human spooning him. "You didn't expect me to get better right away did you?"

"Well no. It's only been a day. But your voice does sound better."

"My throat feels better."

John hummed, snuggling a little closer to the troll and tightened the arm he had around his waist. "I missed you."

Crimson eyes opened slowly to stare at the wall. "I missed you too. You haven't told me about your trip."

"You've been sleeping a lot."

"Well, I'm awake now."

"You need to rest."

Karkat groaned softly, rolling his eyes. "I am resting. Not moving at all. This is resting. Now talk, Egbert."

John smiled softly. "Okay. Um, well, First, We went to Bowerstone. Cause Dave was talking about how they don't get to see me much anymore since I spent all my time with you so I thought going to see Rose would be a good idea. Roxy was there too. You remember Roxy? I think I told you about her. She's really sweet. It's been a while since I've seen her cause she's always off on adventures with Jane. She was really happy to see me. We got to talk a lot. Mainly about you."

"Me?" Karkat spoke softly, glancing to the side toward John.

"Yeah. That's what usually happens it seems. Anytime I'm with my friends we end up talking about you. Everyone's really curious about you. Rose seemed a little upset that Dave got to meet you first."

The troll snorted softly. "That's not an honor. He was a bastard shitface."

"Yeah, I told her that and Roxy got all upset at Dave for being a douche to you. Dave apologized by the way." John tacked on, giving the troll a squeeze. "I think he was just jealous cause you've been stealing my time. Like he thinks you're going to replace him or something which is ridiculous."

"Can't blame him for being jealous." Karkat spoke softly, letting his eyes slip shut.

"Why?"

"I felt that way not long ago."

"You mean when we had that big fight?"

"Yeah."

"I didn't know you were jealous."

"You forgot me to spend time with other people."

"I said I was sorry... And I didn't forget you. I thought you forgave me."

"I did. I do." Karkat grunted and twisted his body till he could lay on his back and meet those beautiful blue eyes. "I was just saying I get it, I guess."

"So... You're not mad at Dave anymore then?"

Crimson eyes narrowed. "That worthless excuse of a piece of shit can go fall into The Grand Highblood's mouth for all I care."

"Whose The Grand Highblood?"

"Hm?"

"The Grand Highblood?" John repeated.

"Where?" Karkat snapped his eyes open, a sudden look of panic crossing his face that made John's brow perk.

"What?"

"Dave's an asshole." Karkat mumbled softly as he rolled onto his side and pressed into John's chest.

"Uh." John blinked a few times as he squeezed the troll closer. "Right."

"What did you do after Bowerstone?" Karkat mumbled softly, his face pressed against John's collarbone.

"Um, We went to Aurora to see Jade, Jake and Dirk." John swallowed, brushing off the weird moment as Karkat being sick as he continued. "Spent a lot of time there. It was really nice to see them and go on adventures like old times. And then we went to Bloodstone and did some treasure hunting. I brought you something from there." He pressed forward, nuzzling into dirty black hair. "And then we went to a few other towns and we stopped by Brightwall and visited Adairis and Asher. So I have some new books for you. They send their greetings as well. Apparently, next time I come to visit, I need to take you with me or Adairis is going to bite my finger off."

Karkat snorted softly. "That's what you get for going without me."

"Well, I brought you back books, isn't that enough?"

"Yeah. Too bad I don't think I can keep my eyes open long enough to read them."

"I could read to you."

"Later. Tell me more about your trip."

"You want to go on an adventure with me sometime, Karkat?"

"Maybe."

"Okay." John grinned as he planted a soft kiss to the troll's hair. "We'll go on an adventure sometime soon."

* * *

"I know it's because you're sick, but your darkened skin is actually really attractive." John commented softly as he brushed a thumb over Karkat's cheek.

The troll just crinkled his nose as he stuffed another spoonful of soup into his mouth. He felt comfortable between John's bent legs, leaning against the hero's warm chest. John had both arms wrapped tightly around the troll's waist as he rested against the headboard. It was nearing two days and the two of them had hardly left the bed. Karkat only left to use the bathroom and John only got up when the troll needed something. His fever had died down but he still had a cough that, though a little violent, was not something to worry over. At least according to Karkat it was nothing to worry over.

"You're acting flushed." The troll commented softly before taking in another spoonful of soup.

"I'm just telling you the truth. It's not as dark as it was when I first saw you. When humans get sick, their skin gets paler. So it's interesting that yours gets darker. I didn't think trolls could get sick, actually."

"We're not invincible."

"But you're still different."

Karkat shrugged, eyeing the spoon in his hand before taking another mouthful of soup. "Fuck if I know how we work. I don't get sick often. Haven't been sick in ages. Aradia's the one who knows all that medical shit."

John perked a brow, pressing his lips to the soft warm skin of Karkat's neck. "Who is Aradia?"

"Huh?" Karkat blinked, glancing back at the human.

"Aradia. You said they know about medical stuff."

"Well, yeah. Cause she's really interested in how the troll body works. Dead or alive."

"Is she your friend?"

Karkat's shoulders tensed. "What?"

"Aradia." John reminded him. He was used to the strange way Karkat's sickened mind worked. "Is she your friend? You never really talk about anyone so I-"

"No." Karkat mumbled, cutting the human off.

"Wha-"

"No. Forget I said anything."

"But Kar-"

"Shut up, John."

The human huffed softly, biting his lower lip as he nuzzled into the troll's neck. "You brought her up."

"Well forget I did that."

"Why?"

"Cause we're not pale. Don't think that just because I'm letting you take care of me while I'm sick is any indication that we are headed in a pale direction. That is something that is not going to happen." The troll stated effortlessly.

"You're so adamant about that."

"Fuck yes I am."

"Why?"

"None of your business."

"Oh, so I can't even know why you don't want to be pale with me cause I'm not pale with you? How does that make sense?"

"I'm not talking about this with you, John."

"Karkat." The human whined softly, nuzzling his nose against the troll's throat. "You're so mean sometimes."

"Then leave."

"You know I'm not going to do that." He grumbled softly.

"Then deal with it."

"Fine." John sighed softly, slipping his eyes shut. "So... What did you do while I was gone?"

"Huh?" Karkat blinked, lifting the mostly empty bowl to his lips to drink the rest of the soup.

"I told you all about what I did. What did you do without me?" Blue eyes peeked open, scanning over a dark, flushed face.

"Not much." He shrugged, licking his lips as he placed the bowl on the side table before leaning back into John's arms. "I clean a lot."

"That's it?"

"Pretty much."

"Sounds boring."

"It was." Karkat pulled up the blanket around his waist and tucked it under his chin as he brought his knees up beside John's. "I won't say I was lonely without you."

John perked a brow and after a minute of silence, he figured Karkat wasn't going to say more. "But you were?"

"I said I won't say." The troll grumbled softly.

John couldn't help the smile that came to his face and the warmth that filled his heart. It wasn't like he wanted Karkat to be lonely but there was something heartfelt about knowing the troll missed him enough to feel that way. Because, really, even though John had been around Dave and all his other friends, he still had felt a small spark of loneliness. Something that only Karkat could fill. He wasn't happy that Karkat was sick but he did appreciate the time that they were able to spend together because of it. Karkat was a lot more laid back when he was sick and it gave John a little more opportunity to dig at the troll, get him to say things he might not usually say. It wasn't easy and he wouldn't take advantage of it, but it made him smile every time Karkat gave him another small piece of information.

* * *

"It'll make you feel better, I promise."

Karkat scoffed, rolling his crimson eyes as he crossed his arms over his chest. "You just want to see me naked."

John sputtered, a flush coming his cheeks. "What! I've already seen you naked!"

"Oh yeah."

The human swallowed past the lump in his throat before he tried to speak again. "You had a fever, Karkat and that fever made you all sweaty and honestly, I'm not even sure when the last time you bathed was."

"You saying I smell, Egbert?" Karkat hissed softly, his lip curling over sharp fangs.

"What? No. Well, yeah a little." John shrugged one shoulder as he leaned over the bed, planting one hand against the mattress as the other reached out to card through thick dirty raven hair. "I think a warm bath will make you feel a lot better. Annabelle gave me some stuff to put in the water that should help with your stuffed nose."

Karkat hummed softly, leaning into John's touch as his eyes fluttered close. "Warm water, huh?"

"Yup. Warmed it up just for you."

"Okay."

"Great." John smiled as he retracted his hands. "Come on."

Karkat opened his eyes, narrowing them at the human before he shifted to the edge of the bed. The floor was cool against his bare feet but he stood up easily enough. He was much better than he had been when John came back but he was still sick. He still couldn't breath through his nose and his cough had only become a little better. Honestly, the idea of a warm bath sounded rather nice to the troll. He followed John through the curtain and into the small bathroom where a nice tub was pressed against the wall. It was already filled with steaming water and Karkat couldn't remember the last time he took a warm bath. His muscles ached at the thought.

"I think you should just soak for a while." John commented as he came up to Karkat and rubbed his hands down the troll's side gently to then stop at the hem of his black shirt. "Oh, I'll have to lend you some of my clothes too."

Karkat perked an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Cause these are dirty? And putting you back in dirty clothes kind of defeats the whole purpose of giving you a bath to begin with."

"Okay."

John nodded and tugged at the hem of Karkat's shirt to pull it upwards. The troll lifted his arms without much effort and allowed John to remove the sweat soaked shirt. "I'll wash your clothes for you when I get the chance." He added, his cheeks flushing as blue eyes scanned over the troll's bare chest. He swallowed hard, mentally slapping himself as he went for the hem of the troll's pants.

"I can undress myself, you know." Karkat pointed out though he made no move to stop John.

"Right." John pulled his hands away, flushing up to his ears as he glanced away.

Karkat perked a brow but undid his pants to push down his hips and kick to the side. He wore nothing underneath which was rather normal for him. It was more comfortable that way and though he felt maybe he should have been a little embarrassed at being naked in front of the human, he felt nothing of the sort. Though there was something about the way those blue eyes looked at him that made his body flush with warmth.

"You're so pale sometimes." The troll commented as he moved toward the steaming tub. "Undressing me is a pale thing. Or red. Though that really depends on the situation. That, though, was pale. I think." He rambled on softly as he dipped a hand into the warm, sweet-smelling water.

"What's wrong with pale?" John questioned softly as he came up beside Karkat.

"We're not pale."

"We coul-"

"No." Karkat snapped a clawed hand over John's mouth, his crimson eyes flashing with a fire John had not seen since he left over a month ago. "You finish that godforsaken sentence and I will rip off that poor excuse you call a bulge." Blue eyes widened and he nodded, pretty sure the troll was actually serious about that. "Good." Karkat pulled his hand away to place it on John's shoulder. "Help me."

"Right." John swallowed hard, wrapping an arm around that warm bare waist to help the troll step into the tub.

Karkat was careful as he slipped one leg into the warm water. It made his skin tingle and he was quick to slip his other leg inside. He released John, noticing the way the male's hand lingered at his waist before he sat down in the water. He purred softly, his eyes slipping shut as he sank in the warm water till it came up to his nose. The warmth sunk through his skin and into his bones, leaving him feeling a hell of a lot better than he did before.

"Is it warm enough?" John questioned softly as he sunk to his knees beside the tub.

"It's lovely." Karkat mumbled above the water before sinking his head under the water. His cheeks flared to life at the warm water and when he came back up, his damp hair flattened against his face. He ran a clawed hand through it, pushing it out of his face as he relaxed against the side of the tub. "Thanks."

"Mhm." John smiled brightly, happy to be of help. "Should I... Leave you alone?"

"I might fall asleep if you do that." Karkat rubbed at his legs and arms under the water, glancing down at his body. "Talk to me."

"About what?"

"I don't know. You're good at rambling. Do that." Karkat mumbled as he tilted his head back over the side of the tub and slipped his eyes shut.

"Um... Okay. Uh, while you were sleeping I went to see Casey. Annabelle gave me the stuff to use for a bath. They're worried. Casey wants to come see you but I don't think that's best till your better. Oh, I told Rose you were sick too. She checked in earlier, so I told her I'm taking care of you." His cheeks flushed as he folded his arms on the side of the tub to rest his chin on. His eyes focused on the surface of the water as Karkat made soft rippled with his hands. "She sends get well soon wishes. She was the one who told me a warm bath would be good for you. I don't know much about taking care of others when they're sick but I hope I'm doing a good enough job."

"You're doing fine. Didn't ask you to take care of me to begin with."

"Yeah, well, someone has to since you won't take care of yourself."

Karkat snorted softly, opening a crimson eye to glance at the hero. "Not your job."

"But you're letting me do it anyway. Not like you have a moirail around to do it for you."

John should have known better. He knew he should have known better. Especially with the way Karkat's face contorted into a flash of pain and his eyes closed tightly. "He didn't take care of me anyway." He hissed softly, a crack of pain in his voice as he sat up, pulling his knees to his chest to rest his chin atop them.

"Karkat. I'm sorry, I didn't..." John bit his lower lip as he reached out to place his palm over Karkat's wet back. "I'm sorry."

"Eridan though, He was a good moirail." The troll mumbled, his eyes focusing on his naturally yellow toenails beneath the water. "Last time I was sick, he did this too. So guess you're not doing to fucked of a job."

"Eridan?" John ventured as he let his fingers slip over Karkat's neck, pressing into his skin.

"What?" Karkat blinked, lifting his head to glanced at the human kneeling beside him.

"You said Eridan was a good moirail. You've never spoken about him before. Actually... You've never spoken about anyone before. I was starting to think... You really were alone but-"

"I am alone." Karkat cut in with a hiss.

John blinked. "You have me."

"Yeah, cause you forced yourself into my life."

"Don't act like you don't enjoy it."

Karkat crinkled his nose. "I want to wash."

John blinked at the sudden change of subject but was rather used to it by now. Karkat's mind worked a little strange when he was sick. "Should I leave or...?"

"Or." Karkat stated, glancing at the human over his shoulder.

"Right." John moved to his feet to gather a wash cloth and some soap he'd placed on the sink beforehand. He came back to his knees beside the tub and dipped the cloth in the water to wet it. "You know, you're more agreeable when you're sick." John commented softly as he rubbed the bar of soap over the wet cloth.

"Shut up."

The hero laughed softly. "Well it's true. You've complained a lot about what I'm doing for you but you haven't once tried to stop me."

"As long as you know this isn't pale, I don't care."

"Seems to always come back to that." John stated as he started to rub the cloth over Karkat's shoulders.

"Gotta draw a line somewhere."

"Yeah but why?" John pondered as he ran the cloth under the water. He narrowed his eyes in thought before he dropped the cloth and moved back to remove the short-sleeved shirt he wore. Once it dropped to the floor and moved to pick up the cloth once again to rub it over Karkat's back. "I mean, I understand the quadrant thing pretty well by now, I just don't understand why there's such a thing as no blending? Like I can't give you a bath without it being pale?"

"It's not pale." Karkat corrected.

"Right." Blue eyes rolled as he shifted to rub the soapy cloth over Karkat's neck. "But you let me kiss you without a second thought."

"That's different."

"How is that different?"

"Because... Because... Oh shut up Egbert."

John laughed softly and the two of them settled into a comfortable silence as John washed the troll. Once it become below the waist, Karkat took the soap and cloth and washed himself. The water became cloudy with dirt and soap to the point that Karkat couldn't even see his toes anymore. Not that it mattered. John helped the troll wash his hair and once that was all done, Karkat felt pretty damn good.

"Feeling better?" John asked as he moved to his feet to grab a fluffy towel from the sink.

"I guess." Karkat rolled his shoulders before he moved to his feet, glancing down as water dripped from his skin. "I feel clean."

"Good. That was the plan." There was a smile on his face as he wrapped the towel around Karkat's bare body.

Karkat grabbed the edges of the towel and pulled them close around him as he rubbed his cheek against the soft fabric. John grasped his shoulders and helped him step out of the tub so he wouldn't hurt himself. The troll felt warm and his head was a little dizzy but he followed John back to the bedroom without complaint. He was ready for some more sleep so when the bed came into view, Karkat dropped the towel and slipped under the blankets naked.

"K-Karkat!"

"Shhh, sleep, John." He waved a hand as he curled under the warm blankets.

"Karkat, You can't sleep with your hair wet like that. At least dry off more."

Th troll groaned. "Ugh, you sound just like Eridan." He sat up suddenly, his head spinning and he winced. "Fuck."

"Are you okay?" John sat on the bed beside him as he brought the towel up to run through Karkat's damp shaggy hair.

"I'm tired, fucktard." He grumbled, a glare set on his face.

"And I'll let you sleep. Just dry off a bit first." John pulled the towel down around Karkat's shoulders and was met with the cutest little pout he had ever seen. It struck him to the core and for a moment, he just wanted to kiss the troll. So, he did. He pulled Karkat close with the towel around his neck and pressed their lips together softly. Karkat inhaled through his nose the best he could, his eyes widening and his skin tingling at the contact. He blinked once, and then once more before John pulled away with flushed cheeks. "Ah, haven't done that since I left." John mumbled softly, watching as Karkat ran his tongue over his top lip. The hero tilted his head just a bit before pressing forward once again and this time, Karkat pressed back against the pressure on his lips.

"John." He mumbled after a few seconds.

"Yeah?" Blue eyes met crimson.

"As much as I enjoy kissing you, I'm really tired."

"R-Right." John swallowed hard as he pulled back, his cheeks a darker shade than Karkat had seen in a while. "Sorry."

Karkat hummed as he laid back down, curling on his side with his back to John. "Don't just sit there. Come on." The troll wiggled slightly, making more room for the human.

"Uh, Karkat, I need to go clean up and-Ah!" He exclaimed when Karkat grabbed his arm and dragged him down onto the bed.

"Sleep." The troll demanded as he tugged John's arm over his waist.

"Okay, Okay." He laughed softly as he pressed against Karkat's back, finding their new height difference to come in handy when the troll wanted to cuddle like this. He pressed his chin against the troll's damp clean hair as he pulled him close. So what if he had things he needed to do. Cuddling with a sick troll was at the top of his list of things to do. Especially when Karkat was the one to demand it.

* * *

Karkat focused on the book in his hands as John moved about behind him. He felt comfortable with his back pressed to John's front. Three days and though he wasn't back to one hundred percent he was getting there. His nose was still stuffed, the cough had died down and his mind was still fuzzy but it was enough to be alright. He felt better than he had in days and with one of John's arms wrapped securely around his waist, he felt safe. Safety and comfort was so important to a troll even if one would never admit it. Being safe was hard to feel so when it came, it meant more than one could explain.

"Are you done yet?" Karkat mumbled, flipping through a few pages in the book before glancing back at John who was still digging through a leather satchel. "What _are_ you doing?"

"Ah, here it is." The hero smiled as he pulled out a small brown leather bag from the satchel. "Another present. Remember? Chocolate."

Crimson eyes lit up as he glanced back at the human. "Chocolate?"

John chuckled at the honest joy on the the troll's face. "Yes. Picked some up in Brightwall. You ran out last time really fast, so I got a bunch. Don't eat all of it at once though." He settled back against the headboard so Karkat could lean against his chest. "You want me to read to you this time?"

"I can read." Karkat settled against John's chest, pulling the book against his stomach so he could read.

"Alright." He shrugged as his chin settled on Karkat's shoulder, pressing their cheeks together. He dropped the bag of chocolate at his side and tugged it open with one hand to grab one small piece. He brought it up and without hesitation pressed it against Karkat's lips. The troll was only stunned for a second before his lips parted and he brought the chocolate inside with his tongue. He purred faintly at the sweet taste that coated his tongue. "You're whole body vibrates when you do that."

"Do what?" The troll spoke around the chocolate in his mouth.

"Purr. I can feel it through your back." His fingers rubbed over the hem of the others shirt, pushing at the warm skin beneath. "Do you know what a cat is?"

"No."

"Well Rose has one. Roxy too actually. I think Roxy collects them. Anyway, they are these little fur-ball creatures and they purr. Actually, you remind me a lot of Rose's cat Jaspers."

"I'm not a fur-ball, John."

"I know that. But you purr and sometimes when you look at me, you give me the same look at the does."

Karkat snorted softly. "Oh, so he thinks you're a dork too."

"Hey..." John whined softly before pushing another piece of chocolate into Karkat's ready mouth. "That's not very nice to say to someone who brought you back a lot of presents."

"Hm." Karkat twirled the chunk of chocolate around in his mouth, savoring the taste before he bit into it. "I guess you're right. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're trying to woo me with all this stuff."

John shrugged, rubbing his fingertips along the hem of the blue pants the troll wore. "Is it working?"

"Are you trying?" Crimson glanced to the side at him.

"Not really."

Karkat snorted, rolling his eyes as he swallowed the chocolate. "You're the worst hero ever."

"What?" John perked up. "Why do you say that?" He seemed genuinely hurt by Karkat's words.

The troll shrugged, twisting his body enough so he could plant a kiss against John's cheek. "Do you even know what you want?"

"I... what?"

Crimson eyes sparked with life, a faint smirk curling to those full lips as Karkat pressed closer. He ran his claws over John's cheek, tilting the human's head just enough so he could slide their lips together. "Not like I know what I want either." He mumbled softly against soft lips.

"You're not making much sense, Karkat." He mumbled, searching crimson eyes as his palm pressed flat against a warm toned stomach.

He hummed softly, slipping his tongue out to brush over the others lips. "Doesn't matter." He pressed another kiss to those lips before he pulled away, settling back against John's chest comfortably with his focus on the book in his hands. "Read to me?"

"Ah, Um, Yeah." John swallowed hard, licking his chocolate tasting lips. "Of course."

* * *

"Hey Karkat?"

"Hm?" The troll glanced up from the book in his lap at the hero lingering near the open curtain.

"I have something for you."

He perked an eyebrow. "More stuff? John, you're fucking spoiling me."

"It's not from me." He chuckled softly as he came toward the bed with a hand behind his back.

"Then who?"

"Casey." The smile on his face was bright as he produced the paper card from behind his back for the troll to see. "She made it for you."

Wine colored eyes widened as the troll dropped the book in his lap to grasp the paper from John. Drawn in all different colors were three figures. One was easily recognizable as John, the other Casey and the other Karkat. When he opened the card, Casey had written "please get well soon Karkat!" in scribbled writing that made the troll's heart leap to his throat and stay there.

"She's sad she can't see you but she said she hopes this makes you feel better." John stated as he sat down on the bed beside Karkat, facing him as he bent on leg on the bed.

Karkat's face contorted and for a moment, John thought the troll was going to cry. But then that look was gone and there was a soft smile on his face. Karkat swallowed hard, past the lump in his throat and through the pang of pain in his chest. "She's a special kid."

"Yeah, she is. Are you okay?" John asked softly, leaning forward to peer into Karkat's face.

The troll nodded as he leaned forward to knock his forehead against John's shoulder. "I'm feeling better."

"Good." The hero brought up a hand to rub over his back with a soft smile on his face. "Your skin isn't nearly as dark as it had been. Actually, your nose is the only part that's still dark. I'm really glad you're feeling better."

Karkat hummed softly as he clutched the card to his chest. "Guess I have to admit... You did well."

John grinned, planting a kiss against the troll's temple. "Damn right I did. Who better to take care of you than me?"

"Don't get full of yourself, asswipe." Karkat mumbled as he pushed away from the hero, his grey cheeks flushing red.

"Mhm." John rolled his eyes as he got to his feet, looking the troll over. "I'll get you some lunch."

Karkat's sickness was not as thick as it once had been, and he should have commented on how John was acting. Oh how pale they were and how _wrong_ it was. They were friends. Nothing more. But the still sick part of Karkat's mind was trying to convince him they _could_ be more if he just got over himself. But there was no way that was happening.

* * *

It wasn't fair. Not at all. John wasn't allowed to be so damn warm. Because it only made Karkat want to curl against his chest even more. It could give the human the wrong idea. Though, Karkat wasn't even sure what the right idea was. Did it matter? Should it matter? Maybe. Karkat wasn't sure. John's warmth and heartbeat made him unable to think straight. It was so comfortable. So safe, so warm so... Pale. Though, the way John's hands were roaming over his back and sides wasn't entirely all that pale.

"Hey Karkat?"

"Hmm?"

"Is the medicine working?"

Karkat took a deep breath through his nose, inhaling John's scent. "I can breathe."

"Good. Do you feel strange at all? Annabelle said it might make you tired."

"I feel warm." He moved a little closer, tilting his back enough to nuzzle his nose against John's throat. "But otherwise fine."

"Better than you have been feeling?"

"Much better."

John smiled softly, pressing a soft kiss against fluffy hair. "Good."

They were silent for a while longer while John took his time in rubbing his hands over Karkat's sides and back in a soothing manner. The troll kept one hand resting on John's hip while the other curled against his chest. Karkat still wore the hero's clothes though neither of them seemed to mind. In fact, John rather liked the way Karkat looked in his clothes. They fit him rather nicely actually considering they had been roughly the same size until John spurt up a few inches.

"Karkat?" John mumbled softly.

"Hm?"

"Whose Eridan? And Aradia? And The Grand Highblood?"

The troll stiffened, pulling back slightly to glance up at the curious human. "What?"

"You never talk about anyone. Hell, you hardly talk about yourself. And you've mentioned those three people over the past few days and I'm really curious about them. Eridan was your moirail? But he was a different moirail? So you've had a few."

"We're not talking about this, John."

"Why not?"

"Because-"

"we're not pale?" He finished for the troll, earning a soft glare.

"That's a horrible excuse and you know it, Karkat. I may not know what being a moirail fully entails but with how you've been acting lately, I feel like I've been filling that roll."

"No!" Karkat snapped suddenly, a strange growl coming from the back of his throat as he pushed away from John to look him in the eye. "There's no roll to be filled."

"Damnit, Karkat, why are you adamant about this? About anything involving emotions and relationships? You were like this when I just wanted to be your friend! Why is it so hard to accept that just maybe, there's more between us than that."

"Even if there is. It doesn't change anything."

"...What?" John narrowed his eyes in confusion. "What do you mean it doesn't change anything?"

Karkat let out a soft sigh and bit into his lower lip. "It doesn't change anything."

"Why the hell not? I like this, Karkat." He squeezed the troll's hips, pulling him a little closer. "I like being this close to you. I love that you've been telling me little things about yourself lately. And I know it's just because your sick but I really like it. I want to keep doing this. I want you to feel comfortable enough to tell me things. I want-"

"No." Karkat stated softly, pushing against John's chest until the human released him. He was quick to sit up and shove a clawed hand into his shaggy dark hair.

"Why not?!" John sat up as well, his face slightly pained as he looked at the other. "I don't understand, Karkat, so please, explain it to me. Why can't we be closer? Is it because someone hurt you that bad? I won't do that to you, Karkat. I won't. I've done everything I can to make sure I _don't_ hurt you."

"Fuck, Just," Karkat clawed into his hair, pressing his arms closer as he curled into himself. "Shut up, John. Please shut up."

"No. I'm tired of this Karkat." The hero grabbed the troll's wrists gently and tugged, trying to get Karkat to look at him to no avail. "Talk to me. Please. I know you have pale feelings for me. Hell, you even mentioned you did awhile ago. I didn't forget about that, you know. So why is this so hard? Why can't we-"

"Because I'm a horrible fucking excuse for a moirail!" The troll suddenly snapped, flicking his wrist to the side to pull John's hand away. Without meaning to, his claws connected with John's cheek, slashing two thin lines that barely made the human flinch. But Karkat seized up, his breath catching in his throat as he suddenly launched off the bed t his feet. "See! Horrible! Now can you just leave this alone?!"

"Karkat!" John moved on his knees, approaching the troll with apprehension. "How are you a horrible moirail? This is nothing." He motioned to his lightly bleeding cheek. "Accidents happen. Please." He reached forward, grasping a shaking grey wrist between his fingers. "Talk to me."

Karkat pressed his lips together as his body began to shake. His crimson eyes lit with life as they glared at the human on his knees before him. "You want to know? You really want to fucking know?"

"Yes! Yes I do!"

A snarl came from his lips as they curled over his teeth and he tossed John's hand from his wrist. "Because I fucking left! I left him! I left _both_ of them!" He hissed, his hands forming fists as his sides. "So what if Gamzee yelled at me. So what if he hated me. I _shouldn't_ have left him. And now he's fucking locked up and there's nothing anyone can do. Except me. And I refuse! I fucking refuse! Because he... He fucking..." Karkat didn't even notice the welling of red tears in his eyes that made John's eyes widen in fear. "Eridan was everything I could have asked for! And I left him for Gamzee who in the end came to hate me. And not in the black way, the worst platonic way motherfucking possible."

"Karkat..." John reached for the troll slowly, his eyes focused on those strange red tears.

"No! Don't fucking touch me." He backed away, sinking his teeth in his lower lip. "Don't you see?! I'm the lowest grubfucking excuse for a troll!"

"Why, Karkat? Why did you leave him?"

"Because! Because he..." The troll's face contorted and he quickly looked away as a red tear slipped down his cheek. "Because he hated me. Because I lied to him... I had to keep them safe. All of them safe and running... running was all I could do."

John grit his teeth together before he lunged forward, pushing off the bed to wrap his arms around Karkat's shoulders tightly. The troll hissed, pushing against John's chest but the human kept his arms tight around him. "I don't care about any of that. Well, no, I do care, but Karkat, you're not a horrible person. You're the best person. Most amazing person I know." He murmured softly against the struggling troll. "You never do anything without a real reason and that's why I _knew_ something was wrong. Damnit, Karkat, everyone deserves a chance don't they? Don't I deserve a chance?"

Slowly, the troll stopped struggling against the strong warm arms around his shoulders. He grit his teeth and pressed his face into John's neck, his claws digging and catching on the light blue fabric of the human's shirt. "I can't... I don't know if I can do it again."

John took a deep breath as he pulled back to gather Karkat's face in his hands. Tear-filled crimson met soft blue and the human smiled softly. "I know, believe me, I know. I honestly have no idea what I'm doing. I don't know what it means to be a moirail, Karkat. But I want to be close to you. We already have that connection, don't we? I know you feel it too. So can't we try? Please?"

The troll inhaled, slipping his eyes shut against the warm hands cupping his face. "It's not easy, you know. Being a moirail."

"I know but, I have the best teacher."

Karkat reached up to grasp John's wrists, pulling those hands away from his face so he could lean forward. His forehead connected with the human's collarbone as he slipped his arms around the others waist. "I hate you sometimes."

"I know." John smiled fondly as he slipped an arm around Karkat's torso while the other slipped into his fluffy soft hair.

"Taking advantage when I'm sick." He mumbled softly.

"I'm not trying to; honest."

Karkat was quiet for a moment before he pressed his lips to John's throat. "I don't promise I'll be any good of a moirail."

"I don't really have any worries about that. Somethings take time. I understand that. I can't promise I'll be any good either."

Karkat took a deep breath. "Okay."

"Okay?" John pulled back to look into wide crimson eyes.

"Yeah, Okay."

The warmth that filled John's heart was enough to melt the snow falling outside and he couldn't help it when he gathered Karkat up in a tight hug that made the troll squeak in surprise. Moirails. _Finally_. Closer to Karkat than anyone else. What more could he ask for? What more could he ever need in his life? That little hole in his chest was completely filled and even overflowed with Karkat. Not that John was ever going to complain about it.

* * *

It wasn't an instant change but there was an obvious difference in the way Karkat held himself around the hero. He seemed to allow himself to smile more and even respond to things differently than he normally would have. John chalked it up to the troll trying to be pale with him and that made him happier than anything. It meant Karkat was actually trying and there wasn't anything more the hero could ask of him.

It wasn't long after they agreed to be moirails that Karkat was finally back up to full strength. The troll seemed reluctant to return to his own home so John didn't bother to make him. He was happy keeping Karkat around his typically unused home until the troll was ready to leave. Having Karkat in Oakfield made it more convenient for Casey to visit as well which meant, Annabelle finally got to meet the troll her daughter loved to go on and on about. It was a pleasant meeting, much better than Karkat's meeting with Dave went and John was just happy the troll seemed happy.

Over the course of a few days, John managed to get Karkat to open up about himself. He learned about Gamzee, the high-blooded troll who had meant everything to him once before it all went to hell. He learned why Karkat left his friends behind and he learned why all the trolls just disappeared from Albion one day. All thanks to one called The Grand Highblood who was the equivalent of a king. A king that was ready and willing to rip Karkat to pieces if he ever found him because of his strange blood color. The hemospectrum had been an interesting conversation. Finding out Karkat was a mutant was also an interesting conversation, not that it made John think any less of him though it did explain the red tears.

Karkat told John about Eridan, Sollux, Aradia and all his other friends. He spoke fondly of them and it was obvious the troll missed them quite a lot but John understood why Karkat left. Protecting them caused him to sacrifice them and Karkat didn't regret it for a single second. Karkat told John all types of little details he never bothered to explain before, Simple things, like why loved romance novels so much. They reminded him of a simpler time. A time before the Grand Highblood. Plus, he'd always been a romantic at heart.

There were still things Karkat wouldn't tell John. Like why the flowers meant so much to him, or why what happened with Gamzee still stung so much but John didn't push. He was learning enough about the troll that he soaked up every piece of information he was lucky to receive. He felt no point in pushing the troll. Karkat was bound to tell John everything when he was ready and John would be there ready and willing to listen.

* * *

"You look so cute." John teased lightly as he tugged down the hat over Karkat's horns and fluffy hair.

The troll snarled softly, his grey cheeks flushing softly. "Shut up."

"Hey, you're the one who wanted to go out in the snow." John reminded as he checked the hat, making sure Karkat's pointed ears were tucked away nicely.

"I haven't been outside in over a week. I need fresh air before I lose my grubfucking mind." He grumbled, reaching up to feel his horns through the thick fabric of the green hat. "Everything you own is blue, why the fuck Is this not?"

"Cause I used to really like green. Well, I still do. But blue is my signature color, you know?" John said with a shrug as he tugged at the black cloak around Karkat's neck. "Kanaya made me plenty of green stuff that I hardly wear anymore. It doesn't fit."

"Have you ever met her?" Karkat questioned softly, crimson eyes peering up from under his bangs.

"Nope. I was never in town when she was. I think Rose is the only one whose met her."

"Oh." He nodded, dropped his hands to his side as John toyed with his cloak. "Are you done yet?"

"I'm just checking." The hero grabbed the long green and black scarf from the table to wrap it around Karkat's neck. "You just recovered from a cold. Gotta be safe." He wrapped the scarf well enough to cover Karkat's mouth and nose. The troll narrowed his eyes at the grinning human. "Don't give me that look. I'm being a good moirail."

"You're being annoying." Karkat flushed at the M word as he slapped John's hands away from him. He tugged the scarf down so he could breath and he had to admit the outfit was rather warm.

"It just snowed and it's freezing out there. I don't want you getting sick."

"Now you sound like my lusus."

"That's a parent, right?"

"Yes."

"Oh. Well, pardon me for worrying over you."

Karkat sighed softly, leaning forward to plant a soft kiss to surprised lips. "Can we go now?"

"Oh, Um. Yeah." John swallowed hard as he pulled his hood over his hair, trying to force down the blush on his cheeks. He moved around the table toward the door while Karkat followed him. The cool wind blew into the warm home when John entered the home and it made the both of them shiver. Karkat was used to Alternian winters so the Albion air was not nearly as bad. Still cold, however.

Oakfield was quiet as they stepped out into the snow, the only sound that of the soft wind, waves crashing and their feet crunching snow beneath them. Karkat inhaled the crisp air, filling his lungs as he moved his eyes to the sky. Dark clouds coated the sky, making the mid-day look more like close to sunset. Not that the troll minded. He hugged himself under his cloak as he glanced down at the untouched snow around his feet.

"I love snow." John commented as he moved around the cottage with Karkat following behind. "I love winter, actually. Even the ocean is reacting to the cold weather."

Karkat came up beside John as they rounded the cottage. The ocean waves crashed softly against the shore, leaving a white foam in its wake. Snow blanketed most of the beach, looking much like white sand. "I was never too fond of winter. Things die."

"I suppose that's true. But they die to make way for more, new beautiful things in the spring." John commented, nudging the troll with his shoulder.

Karkat had to admit the male was right. The flowers that grew in every spring were always more beautiful than the previous ones. "I don't mind the cold."

"Your nose is red." John commented softly as he leaned forward to knock his nose against Karkat's cheek. "Are you too cold?"

"I'm fine." The troll shrugged. The coolness against his face was a nice change. If he became too cold he knew he could pull the scarf up and he would become warm again.

"Um, Karkat?"

"Hm?" He turned to the side, glancing up at the human.

"I, there's something I've been wanting to ask you."

"Alright."

"Um... Well, Christmas is coming up. Do you celebrate it?"

The troll shook his head. "It's a human holiday."

"Oh." John's face sunk just a bit. "Right."

Crimson eyes narrowed and a bare clawed hand grasped his arm. "Why?"

"Oh, I um... I was just going to ask if you'd like to... come to Bowerstone with me? All the heroes always get together around Christmas time to catch up and spend time together. I was, um, thinking, maybe... since were moirails now..." They both flushed at the word, "you'd want to come with me and, you know, meet everyone. You don't have to, of course." He was quick to add, chewing on his lower lips nervously. "I just... thought it'd be nice. Spending Christmas together. Plus everyone meeting you..."

"Do you want me to meet everyone?"

"Well... Yes."

"Alright. I'll go."

John blinked in slight surprise. "You will?"

Karkat nodded, a soft smile on his lips as he glanced up at the slightly taller hero. "You asked nicely and as your moirail, I have a duty to do things that make you happy. I don't mind meeting people who are important to you."

"Dave will be there." John spoke softly.

"And that is something I will deal with." Karkat shrugged, raising a cool bare hand to cup John's cheek. "Spending this holiday together seems important to you. So I'm okay with going along."

John released a happy sigh as he nuzzled into the troll's hand. "You're the best, Karkat. Everyone's going to be so happy to meet you."

The troll shrugged and leaned up to place his lips against John's in a soft kiss. John was happy to return the kiss, catching Karkat's chin with his knuckle to hold the troll there. Their lips moved together gently, without much pressure, just a reminder that they were there. Karkat pulled away after a moment, a warm smile on his face as he took a step back.

"Come on, I'm cold." He pulled the scarf up over his nose, hiding most of his flushed face before he turned toward the cottage. "You promised me hot chocolate, whatever that is, remember?"

"Y-Yeah." John smiled and eagerly followed after the troll, his heart pounding against his chest in a way that was so far from what Karkat would consider pale.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel so warm and fuzzy inside. You have no idea how much I needed this chapter. Specially after the upd8 and the last chapter.
> 
> Well, Let me know what you thought please! Kudos are always great but you can only do that to a chapter fic once, so comments are always appreciated!
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> ~Addy~


	14. Merry Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, this is an exceptionally long chapter and I would apologize for that, but well, I don't want to. I worked very hard on this to be a Christmas special. It started out as just the part two to December but as it grew, I realized it just needed to be its own part. Do not expect the future chapters to be anywhere near as long or for me to update this for a while after this monster of a chapter. I should be able to get back into the swing of writing after the holidays so don't you fret! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy!
> 
> A few songs to listen to as you read? [Your Guardian Angel](http://youtu.be/jRehmX3zlwE), [Goodnight Moon](http://youtu.be/BClFpTijh1Y) and [If I'm James Dean...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71SvPulAyZI)
> 
> BTW. CHECK OUT [THIS](http://vanberts.tumblr.com/post/103000585381/the-orgasmic-seke-vanberts-sorry-for-shit#notes) AWESOME COVER ART MY FRIEND RAFFY MADE FOR ME. IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

_They say that love is forever._

_Your forever is all that I need._

_Please stay as long as you need._

_Can't promise that things won't be broken._

_But I swear that I will never leave._

_Please stay forever with me._

* * *

 

The snow began to fall a little after sun rise. John didn't think too much of it, he just hoped that by the time they were ready to leave for Bowerstone it would have calmed down. He wasn't fond of flying in the falling snow no matter how much he loved snow. It was cold, wet and just a bit miserable to do so and the last thing he wanted was for Karkat to get sick again because they went flying in the snow. So when the sun shifted and morning shifted into mid-day John was a little concerned when the snow had not stopped. By the time he made it to Karkat's cabin, the weight of the falling snow had softened but it was still coming down to pile on top of already frozen snow.

"Alternia's frozen." John grumbled softly as he shut Karkat's cabin door behind him, not even bothering to knock. It was a gift he was granted along with Karkat's moiraillegance.

Karkat glanced up from his bed, a book in his hands and a blanket wrapped around his shoulders with his feet tucked under him. "What did you expect?"

"I don't know." John shrugged, brushing off the snow from his shoulders before tugging down the hood from his hair as he dropped his bag to the floor. "Flying to Bowerstone like this is not going to be very pleasant." He ran a hand through black locks before he shifted to sit on the edge of the bed. "It's cold in here." Blue eyes narrowed at the troll.

"Hey, we're leaving soon." The troll flicked a clawed hand at the empty fireplace. "I let it die out."

"Mhm." John shifted to lean toward Karkat, making the troll blink in surprise before soft lips were pressed to his. "Are you ready?"

Karkat swallowed hard, the flush on his grey cheeks a familiar sight as John pulled away. It was a greeting. Just a greeting. It had always just been that. "Yes." He glanced down at the small leather satchel by the door. "I packed this morning."

"How are you feeling?" John asked as he moved to his feet.

Crimson eyes followed him as the troll closed his book in his lap. "The change in my sleep schedule is difficult but I'll deal."

"I appreciate you doing this, Karkat." John flashed him a soft smile as he picked his bag off the floor and dropped it on the table to dig through. "I know you're pretty nervous about meeting everyone and honestly, I don't know how Dave is going to react to seeing you. I told Rose but I asked her not to tell anyone else cause, well, I want this to be a surprise."

Karkat perked an eyebrow as he slipped to edge of the bed. "I'm doing this because you asked me to. Because it's important to you. That's what moirails do."

"I know." John smiled as he turned to Karkat with dark green clothes folded in his arms. "And I know I'm very lucky to have you."

The troll flushed softly, glancing at the fabric in John's arms. "That's a very red thing to say."

He only shrugged. "It's true." He held the clothes out to the troll. "Here."

Crimson only stared at them. "What are these for?"

"It's freezing out there and your normal clothes are not really fit to be flying in the snow. So I brought you some of my old winter clothes. They should fit you. They're really thick, soft and warm. Kanaya made them." He stated with a shrug, motioning for Karkat to take the clothing. "I don't want you to get sick again."

Karkat was a little torn. Wearing the clothing of someone else didn't sit too well with him for the simple fact that it was about as red as could be. But he'd already worn John's clothing before when he was sick though he hadn't been in his right mind then. He refused to accept that as anything but pale. Yet this? This was different. He took a deep breath as he moved to his feet and took the clothing from the human. They were made by Kanaya and with the little hope that Karkat had in his gut, well, he couldn't refuse something made by her. If it was her.

"Great." John smiled brightly and reached down with one arm to wrap tightly around Karkat's waist. "I'm a good moirail, aren't I?"

Karkat snorted softly, allowing himself to enjoy the warmth of John's body for a moment before he pulled away. "Sure you are." He waved a clawed hand at him as he dropped the clothes on the bed. They were a lovely dark green color and soft to the touch. Considering John had been shorter than him when they first met, he wondered if the clothes would even fit. But, John was now a few inches taller than Karkat and the troll hoped the human would stop growing soon. He was short enough as a troll. He'd always found a little joy in being taller than the hero. That was ripped away when John returned from his month-long trip.

Without much thought, Karkat tugged off his black sweater and folded it up to tuck away in his bag for later. The clothes he wore were clean and he saw no point in wasting them. He wanted to look somewhat presentable when he met the other heroes so he threw on his nicest clothing. His black pants then joined his sweater and he was left standing naked with his back to John. He didn't notice the way those blue eyes rushed with a heat as they glanced over him. Nor did he notice how quickly John forced himself to look away and hide the flush on his tanned cheeks.

The tunic was thick and soft with long sleeves and an attached hood that was pretty normal compared to John's wind-sock hood. In the middle of the chest was John's blue symbol, stitched perfectly into the soft green fabric. Karkat's heart thumped at the symbol, his throat swelling as he gave a quick glance to his dresser in the corner. He shook his head, forcing down the way his body flushed with heat as he pulled the tunic over his head. It fit rather well even if it was a bit baggy in a few areas. Bulk wise, John had always been a bit larger than Karkat. Where John was thick with muscle, Karkat was lean. The tunic hugged his frame nicely and the sleeves came to his knuckles. Karkat found it to be rather comfortable and he wondered if John had other old clothing he wouldn't mind letting the troll wear. That thought alone made Karkat's cheeks flush and he quickly grabbed the black pants to tug on. Pale, pale, keep it pale. Oh, the pants fit. They fit rather well. The thick black fabric clung to Karkat's legs and though they were a bit big around the waist he found when he pulled on the belt, they stayed in place without a problem.

"Wow, Karkat." John gasped softly, gaining the trolls attention. Karkat turned around to glance at the human as he smoothed out the fabric over his chest. He perked a brow in question before he looked down at himself, wondering if something was wrong. "You look," John swallowed and licked his dry lips, "You look really good." Blue eyes scanned down his lithe body, taking in the shape of his legs in those pants and the strange feeling that settled over his body in knowing Karkat was wearing _his_ clothes. It was different from when he was sick though John wasn't sure _why_ it was different.

The heat in those blue eyes was vaguely familiar to the troll and after a moment of consideration, a flush crossed his features and even spread to his pointed ears. They'd finally progressed to a pale relationship. Karkat had finally opened himself up enough to even _allow_ a pale relationship and now _this_ was happening. Had it always been happening and he didn't realize it? If so, then why did it bother him more than it previously did? He wasn't sure and he honestly didn't want to find out. He took a deep breath and combed claws through his mess of shaggy black hair.

"It fits better than I expected." He mumbled softly, turning away from the human as his claws ran over the rough texture of the symbol on his chest.

"Is it comfortable?" John asked, coming around beside Karkat to look him over. "And warm?"

"Very warm." He nodded, curling his hands into fists at his sides as he tried to calm his heart beat.

"Great!" John smiled and, without a second thought, leaned down to plant a soft kiss to Karkat's flushed cheek. "I brought that hat too." He snatched said green hat from the table before coming in front of Karkat to carefully tug it over his mop of black hair. "Green really brings out your eyes." He stated softly as he shifted the hat, careful of the troll's horns and ears. With the hat on, his horns and ears were completely covered, leaving strands of black hair to press against his forehead, cheeks and neck. John brushed his fingers over a few strands of hair before brushing the bangs over Karkat's forehead, out of his eyes. "Karkat-"

"If you say what I think you're going to say, I'll rip your lips off." He snapped softly, a faint glare forming in crimson eyes as he captured John's jaw between his claws. His heart was already racing for reasons he didn't want to figure out. The last thing he needed was for John to say something dorky and cute. The best way to shut the hero up? With a soft smirk, Karkat leaned up and pressed their lips together, his claws digging gently into the skin of John's jaw.

The hero didn't object to the kiss. In fact, he was quick to even the pressure, slipping an arm around the troll's waist to pull their bodies closer. Kissing Karkat was one of John's favorite things. It was easy and simple. It was something they had always done. The kisses had shifted from black to friendly to pale but John loved every single one of them. Every chance he had to kiss the troll, he was ready and willing to take. And now that they were moirails, Karkat always seemed more accepting of his kisses than before. Though, the troll was always ready to remind John when it turned too red for his liking. Whatever that meant. John still had yet to learn the difference between a pale and a red kiss. Kissing was kissing and there wasn't anyone else John wanted to kiss.

Karkat shifted, tilting his his head to press a bit harder as his eyes closed, his claws slipping down John's neck to cup the side of it. Shifting on his feet, John leaned down a bit more, finding the angle they could now meet to be more pleasing than before. His hand curled against the small of the troll's back while the other gripped a toned hip. Lips moved and pressed together, one kiss, two kiss, over and over in a manner that left their hearts racing and their cheeks flushed. The trolls body felt warm, maybe it was the clothes or maybe it was the way John's hand curled into his skin but either way, the warmth urged him farther until his lips parted and his tongue sneaked out.

The loud series of knocks that came from the door caused both of them to jump apart so quickly that John smacked into the edge of the bed and fell over with a soft yelp. Karkat breathed heavily through his nose, crimson eyes glancing around the room before landing on the door. His blood ran cold and a flash of panic flushed through his body.

"Ow." John mumbled, rubbing the back of his head where it had managed to hit the wall. "Who could that be?"

"Stay there." Karkat demanded and the look in his red wine eyes made John freeze in his spot. John remained silent as Karkat shuffled to the door, being as quiet as he possibly could. He pressed against the wall beside a window and did his best to peak outside to see who could be at his door. The glimpse of purple made his body rush with relief and his shoulders relaxed as he pushed away from the wall. "Remember Eridan?"

John blinked from his spot on the bed. "Your former moirail? You didn't tell me too much about him."

"Yeah, well, you're about to meet him." Karkat said with a soft sigh as he moved to the door.

"What?" John was quickly on his feet and covered the small distance between them. "He's here?"

"Sure is. I didn't expect him to visit again so soon."

John swallowed hard, glancing between to door and Karkat. The troll seemed rather calm while John had a sudden burst of nerves in his stomach. Karkat had mentioned the troll who came to visit him recently. He mentioned that Eridan had been his moirail before Gamzee but that was about all he got out of Karkat at the time. He knew they were on good terms but he was about to meet his moirail's former moirail. It was sort of a big deal. "I, um. What do I do?"

Karkat smiled softly, flashing John his perfectly white sharp fangs. "Nervous?"

"He's, well he was, your moirail and I..." John swallowed hard, rubbing his hands together.

"It's just Eridan."

"He's a troll! You're the only troll I've ever-" Another series of knocks cut him off.

"Alright you fucktard!" Karkat snapped, anger flashing in his eyes as his lips curled over his fangs in a soft snarl. "You impatient son of a nookwhiffer." He grumbled as he grabbed the door handle and quickly ripped the door open. Crimson met purple and the smile on Eridan's face was enough to diminish his flash of anger.

"Kar! You _are_ home!" The seadweller smiled, showing his sharp fangs as he gave the troll a good once over before those violet eyes landed on the human standing just behind Karkat; so close he was touching him. He perked a brow at the human who only stared at him in slight confusion.

"The hell are you doing here, Eridan?" Karkat crossed his arms over his chest, staring at the taller troll with a soft snarl.

"And here I thought you'd be happy to see us." Eridan scoffed softly, crossing his arms over his chest. His purple attire, horns and hair really stood out against the white blankness of the snow.

"Us?" Karkat narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

"Oh don't look at me like that, Kar." Eridan shifted, moving his elbow behind him before there was a soft grunt from something. "Come on, Sol."

Karkat's eyes widened and his breath paused in his throat when the lanky troll stepped out from hiding behind Eridan. Sollux was a good three inches shorter than Eridan but that still made him taller than Karkat. He was lanky, with long limbs and rather thin for a troll. He flashed a toothy smile, his dual fangs just the same as they'd ever been. He had four horns, two on either side that were just a bit longer than Karkat's and formed pointed ends. His eyes were hidden behind blue and red glasses but Karkat knew his eyes matched them in color. The trolls both wore warm clothing; Sollux in dark thick clothing while Eridan wore that of a obvious higher standing with a purple scarf wrapped tightly around his neck to keep his gills protected from the cold air.

"It's been fuckin' ages, KK." Sollux spoke softly, the smile on his face friendly. His voice was little high pitched than either of the other trolls and his strange dual fangs made his speech a littler harder to understand. But it was still Sollux and something about the familiarity of it all made Karkat's heart clench.

"Shit." He mumbled softly, crimson glancing between the two.

"Twenty sweeps and you haven't changed a bit." Sollux drawled slowly, the grin still on his face as he leaned against Eridan. "Whose the human?" He nodded in John's direction.

Now, Karkat had not forgotten John was behind him, it just had slipped his mind. He swallowed hard as he glanced back at John whose blue eyes were rather wide and full of confusion. Twenty sweeps? Sollux had said twenty sweeps. Shit. "I..." He let out a soft sigh and he was tempted to run a hand through his hair only to be reminded it was covered by a hat. "Just, get inside. No need to stand out in the cold." He mumbled as he gently pushed John out of the doorway so the two trolls could enter his small home.

Eridan and Sollux were grateful to be out of the cold and when Sollux shut the door behind them, Eridan quickly removed his scarf so he could breath properly again. John swallowed hard as the two trolls kicked the snow from their boots and once those violet eyes were on him once again he felt it was time to introduce himself.

"I'm John." He spoke with a soft smile, stepping forward to introduce himself with an outstretched hand. "You're Eridan, right? Karkat's told me about you."

"Oh has he?" Violet glanced to the green-glad troll who quickly averted his gaze. "I'vve heard a good deal about you, hero." He wrapped his long elegant fingers around John's, surprised at how warm the human was. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

John's cheeks flushed softly as he glanced at Karkat who still refused to look at anyone. "He told you about me?"

"Eh?' Sollux mumbled, slipping up from behind Eridan to get a good look at John. "This is the human you told me about, ED?"

"He is."

"Um, Hi. I'm John." He tried to hide his nerves with a smile and offered his hand to Sollux as well.

"Betcha KK didn't tell you about me." Sollux drawled as he grasped John's hand, equally surprised by his warmth as Eridan had been.

"No, I'm sorry, he did not."

"Damn, KK." Sollux hissed softly as he released John's hand to turn to the wine eyed troll. "And I thought you cared about me."

Karkat huffed softly, crossing his arms over his chest as he glanced away from the dual-horned troll. "You're not the one who came to visit me."

"Oh? Got your panties all in a motherfucking bunch over that huh?" A smirk curled to Sollux's lips as he approached Karkat.

"Go suck a hoofbeasts tits." He spoke evenly as his lips curled over his fangs.

"Aw, you did miss me KK!" And without warning, Sollux launched himself onto Karkat and nearly knocked them into a wall. His thin arms wrapped around Karkat's shoulders as he squeezed him tightly while Karkat stood a little stunned at the action.

"Don't damage the goods, Sol." Eridan spoke offhandedly as he turned his attention to John. "So, tell me, John wwas it? Kar told me you wwere a hero. I'm rather fascinated wwith that."

"Oh?" John smiled softly, glancing at Karkat who was trying to pry Sollux off him. He felt tempted to help the troll but there was a glint of amusement in those crimson eyes that kept him from doing so. "Yeah, I'm a hero. One of eight."

"And wwhat is your relationship wwith Kar?" Eridan asked innocently enough, his fins flapping in curiosity.

"Goddamnit, Captor!" Karkat snapped, shoving a hand in Sollux's face as the troll tried to lick his cheek with a long yellow tongue. "Stop being gross."

"I missed you, KK." He whined softly, that strange long pointed tongue flapping at Karkat's cheek.

"That's no reason to fucking lick my face! You're not Terezi!" Karkat snapped, a snark on his lips but that glimpse of amusement was still in his eyes.

"Sol!" Eridan snapped softly, turning to the other two. "I'm trying to interrogate the human and you are not helping."

The two trolls paused before Sollux pulled away from Karkat. "Leave him alone, Ampora." Karkat hissed, his eyes narrowing into a glare that made Sollux smirk.

"Ah. Do we tie him up?" Sollux purred softly as he came up to Eridan's side once more, leaning forward to sniff at John who stared at the two with wide blue eyes.

"No, No, He's a hero, he'd escape rather quickly." Eridan shook his head as he rubbed his claws over his chin in thought.

"What _is_ your relationship with KK?" Sollux shifted closer to the human who took a step back. "We could all get culled for even speaking to you." A dark eyebrow perked up before he glanced over at Karkat. "You pailing him, KK?"

"What?!" The troll gasped softly before quickly moving between the two trolls and his moirail. "We're not- Damnit, Ampora, what did you tell him?" He snapped at the high-blood who only perked a brow at his anger.

"That you havve a human you care deeply for. I didn't speak of any more than that." He glanced at the yellow-blood beside him.

"I, Um." John spoke after clearing his throat. "I'm Karkat's moirail." He said honestly as he placed his hands on the shorter troll's shoulders.

"No, shit, KK." Sollux drawled softly, his mouth falling open in surprise.

Eridan was equally surprised, just a bit better at concealing it. "Well, This is a neww devvelopment."

"What about Gamz, KK?" Sollux asked innocently enough, tilting his head to side. "That fucker's locked up without you."

"Sol." Eridan snapped, shoving his bony elbow into the troll's equally bony ribs.

"Ow, The fuck, ED?" He bared his fangs at the other troll, hissing softly.

John glanced around at the three trolls before his eyes landed on his moirail. Karkat spoke a little about his former moirail but John didn't know too much about it. All he knew was Gamzee had hurt Karkat, a lot, and the troll had meant a lot to him. Also, that Karkat left Eridan for Gamzee but that was about all. He never was told why any of it happened and he didn't want to push until Karkat was ready to give him more details.

"Why are you two here?" Karkat snapped, his voice even and soft as he glared at the two trolls. "John and I have plans. So what do you want?"

"Plans?" Eridan perked up.

"We're going to Bowerstone for Christmas." John replied with a soft smile on his face.

"Fuck is Christmas?" Sollux curled his lip in confusion.

"It's a human holiday, Sol. Wwe don't mean to bother you, Kar. Sol just really wwanted to see you and wwe had time to come by." He spoke softly, an apologetic smile on his lips.

"We don't have to leave any time soon." John replied, noticing the way Karkat's shoulders tensed under his hands. "It's actually best if we wait till the snow stops anyway. Flying in the snow isn't too fun."

"Flying?" Eridan's eyebrows perked up. "You didn't tell me he took you _flying_ , Kar."

"Ugh." Karkat groaned, rubbing a hand over his face. "Look, I didn't tell you a lot of things. The point is, John and I are... Moirails now and that's how it is."

"I'm happy for you, Kar." Eridan spoke with a soft smile, a fond look in his eyes that John picked up on. "I'm glad you havve someone so close. Someone to take care of you." He glanced up at John, his eyes narrowing slightly. "You do knoww howw to take care of him, correct?"

"I, um, yes." John nodded, his grip on Karkat's shoulders tightening.

"He's good to me." Karkat stated softly, earning everyone's attention. "I was sick, he took care of me. He's always here; always around. Always willing to listen. He doesn't push and he lets me be." He bit his lower lip against the red flush that came to his cheeks. "He's... someone I really need."

After a moment of silence, Eridan and Sollux glanced at one another before nodding. "That's all wwe could ask for."

"Poor Gamz though." Sollux tisked softly, slapping his tongue against his large dual-fangs as he leaned against Eridan's shoulder. The violet glare he earned didn't sway him in any manner.

"Um." John swallowed hard, glancing down at Karkat. "You didn't tell me something happened to him."

"You don't know? Damn."

"Sol." Eridan warned softly.

"It's only been two weeks." Karkat stated, a warning glare in his eyes as well.

But Sollux either didn't notice or didn't care. He flapped a hand in the air as he started to speak. "Yeah, Gamz went all bat-shit crazy when KK left. Killed a few trolls, got himself locked up. Not that I blame you for leaving, KK. Was pretty shitty what he did to you."

"Wwe all did it, Sol." Eridan sighed softly, shifting on his feet to accommodate the weight of the the lanky troll.

"Yeah, but Gamz flipped his shit. We were just shocked."

"Shocked at what?" John pondered aloud.

"You've really kept him in the dark, huh KK?"

Karkat let out a growl, rubbing a hand over his arm in frustration. "You never did learn how to shut your shitspewing mouthflap."

"Wait." John blinked and suddenly, he turned Karkat around so he could look him in the eyes. Crimson was surprised for a split second before they narrowed into a glare. "Is this about your blood? Did Gamzee hurt you over your blood?"

"We're not talking about this." He hissed softly, knocking John's hands away from his shoulders.

"No." The human snapped softly. "You can't do that to me anymore, remember." He grabbed Karkat's shoulders once again and tried to meet his eyes. "I knew there were issues about your blood but you didn't tell me that was why Gamzee hurt you."

The troll sighed softly, avoiding those peering blue eyes. "I don't want to get into it. He found out my blood color, he lost his shit, he yelled at me, I hardly remember what happened after that. I just fucking left."

"Oh! That reminds me!" Eridan suddenly spoke and shifted around to shuffle around in the folds of his large purple cloak.

"Karkat..." John mumbled softly, glancing at Eridan before finally meeting crimson eyes. "We'll talk about it later?" The troll nodded and wasn't all that surprised when warm strong arms wrapped around him and he was pulled into a firm chest. It was warm and safe and fuck if Karkat didn't love it. It was one of the reasons he agreed to be moirails with the human. It'd been such a long time since he felt so safe in someone's arms; He'd almost forgotten what it felt like. His claws clung to John's sides but the soft mumbling of the two trolls behind him brought him back to reality. Perhaps feeling so safe and comfortable with John wasn't the best thing. Their relationship was rather odd by troll standards but it never mattered to Karkat because there weren't any other trolls around.

"Reminds you of what?" Karkat mumbled softly as he pulled away from John with a flushed face to face the other two only to stumble backwards into the human at the sight before him.

Held in long elegant grey fingers, were two beautifully carved weapons. The handle was short, barely enough for all of Eridan's fingers to fit around them. The main part was made of a specific type of bone, curved, carved and sharpened to perfection till it reached a point. Eridan smiled with a shrug as he held out the sickles to the troll. "You left a lot behind wwhen you disappeared. Kankri took a lot of it wwith him but there wwere some things that I managed to salvvage and keep. I thought you might wwant these. Since Feferi is calling us in soon."

Karkat eyed those beautiful weapons before he reached out to grab them with shaking hands. He swallowed hard, slipping his fingers aover the familiar rough texture of the carved bone handles. The weight was even and though they felt heavy in his hands it was such a familiar feeling. They had once been an extension of himself and having them in his hands once again brought back a flood of memories. The warm hands on his shoulders were a comfort as he turned the sickles over in his hands.

"Those are really cool, Karkat." John observed softly, glancing over Karkat's shoulder. He slipped his hands down the troll's shoulders till he could wrap his arms around his waist from behind, resting his chin on his shoulder. "I didn't know you used weapons. You're so good with your claws already."

"Oh, KK is a beast with those things." Sollux laughed softly, shifting to lean against Eridan once again. "He can really fuck someone up."

"I've seen him destroy plenty with just his fangs and claws." John spoke fondly, a faint flush on his cheeks as he eyed the sickles. "It's pretty mesmerizing actually. I never knew you were actually used to using weapons."

"It's been a long time." Karkat stated with a shrug, tightening his grip on the sickles.

"I thought you might wwant to have them back. They'll come in handy wwhen Feferi needs us." Eridan mentioned, his arms crossed over his chest as he eyed John holding the mutant troll.

"Whose Feferi?" The hero asked innocently enough, glancing up at the seadweller who was watching him.

"Really keeping your moirail out of the loop, aren't you KK?" Sollux snorted softly, his lips pulling back into a grin. "FF's _my_ moirail."

"Oh? I thought you two were."

Sollux let out a loud laugh that made Eridan narrow his eyes. "Oh please. I hate him too much for that shit."

"They're Kimesises." Karkat corrected, as he twirled the sickles in his hands to get a better feel for them. "Though, you two seem pretty toned down."

Eridan shrugged one shoulder. "Twenty-fivve swweeps with someone makes you tone down."

"But there's no lack of hot black pailing." Sollux drawled causing the other two trolls to flush. John was surprised to see Eridan's cheeks turn a dark purple and it made him even more curious about the other trolls. All he knew was what Karkat told him. He wanted to know more. Plenty more. Though he thought asking what pailing meant would be a bit too much at the moment.

"Those are things no one needs to know." Karkat stated as he pulled away from John. He shifted around the human so he could stuff the sickles into one of his drawers for safe keeping. He didn't need them but he knew he would need them eventually. "Have you talked to Feferi recently then?"

"Yes, noww that she knowws you on board, she's starting to set things into motion." Eridan answered.

"Everyone's pretty excited to have you still in. Everyone's missed you, KK."

Karkat came back around to stand beside John, crossing his arms over his chest. "Yeah, well, when is this shit going to happen?"

"Soon." Eridan's eyes narrowed slightly. "Wwe are all rather anxious to get this started. Really, Wwe wwould like a safe place for you to return to."

"I never said I was coming back permanently." He stated, shifting to glance up at John. "I'll help accomplish everything we've been planning to do but I'm not coming back to stay."

"But Kar-"

"Aw, come on, KK! We miss you!"

"And you can visit me here." He stated with a shrug, obviously having no intention of having his mind changed. "This is my home. You can't expect me to leave my moirail behind. Don't!" He stated quickly, holding up a clawed finger to Sollux, whose mouth was already open to speak. "Shut your mouthflap before I shut it for you."

"Karkat." John mumbled softly, leaning down to the troll. "You're going back to Alternia? Like, really back into it?"

Those warm blue eyes made his throat tighten. "Not permanently. I'm just going to keep a promise I made a long time ago. Feferi is the proper heir to the throne. But she was just a grub when The Grand Highblood took over. We were all grubs. He's the reason trolls stay out of Albion. He's a horrible excuse of a ruler."

"He's also terrifying as fuck and dangerous to boot."

Eridan nodded in agreement to Sollux's words. "He's rather inadequate at his job and uses his powwer in a threatening manner. Trolls are suffering under his rule and wwe'vve had enough of it."

"So what are you planning to do?" John asked, a hint of worry in his voice.

"Wwe're going to get Feferi to the throne." Eridan said with a shrug. "All she has to do is kill him. Once she's done that, the throne is hers and no one can deny that of her. The next person in line wwould be me, and I have no interest in the throne."

"Well, There's Kurloz. And Gamz but well, he's incapacitated." Sollux stated, noticing the way Karkat flinched at the name.

"He never wanted the throne." He mumbled softly, glancing to the floor.

"When you think about it, Having you as a moirail was probably the biggest kick in his father's shame globes." Sollux stated, running a hand through his short black hair.

"Is Gamzee... The Grand Highblood's son?" John asked with wide eyes.

"He is." Eridan answered.

"And he's locked away? His own father locked him away?"

"One thing you must understand about The Grand Highblood, John." Eridan started, his lips curling over his fangs. "He's the darkest most uncaring piece of wwork out there. He doesn't care about anyone or anything other than his goal in ruining the lives of everyone else. He especially doesn't care about his own goddamn children."

"In other words," Sollux growled, "he's an evil piece of shit that needs to be taken down."

"And you guys are going to do that? You're going to take down a king?" John bit his lower lip, glancing down at his moirail. "And you're going to help?"

"We all promised to help sweeps ago." Karkat mumbled, averting his eyes away from John.

The Alternian word sparked something in John's memory but he was too preoccupied to focus on it. "That's really dangerous. How many of you are there?"

"Well, Considering Kankri, Cronus, Mituna and Kurloz are out, there's roughly twenty of us."

"Against a king?"

"You underestimate us, Hero." A smirk curled to Eridan's lips, his violet eyes flashing with something John couldn't read. "You also underestimate howw desperate everyone is to end his reign."

"Well I..." He chewed on his bottom lip as he glanced down at his moirail. "If you need it, and I'm not saying you do but if you feel like you do, I'll help."

All three trolls glanced at him in surprise. "Pardon?" Eridan whispered softly.

"Well..." John shifted as he took in a deep breath and then let his arm slip around Karkat's shoulders. "This sounds really important. And if it means Karkat can go back without any worries... And he doesn't have run and hide because of his blood color then... I want to help if I can. I'm not much but I am a hero." He shrugged one shoulder.

"It's not your fight, John." Wine eyes glanced up at him, narrowed in confusion.

"But it is. Cause you're my moirail. I don't want to intrude where I don't belong, but I want to be of some help if I can." He smiled at his moirail, leaning down to press their foreheads together. "If you'll let me."

"We can use all the help we can get!" Sollux pushed off of Eridan, a grin on his face and he looked John up and down. "What are you capable of?"

"I really don't want you to get involved." Karkat stated with a sigh as he pulled away from John enough to look him in the eyes. "But I won't stop you from joining us. He's a hero." He said after turning to Sollux. "He's a hell of a lot more capable than you or I."

"Shit, we'll take him."

"Wwell, I'm glad that's settled." Eridan spoke with a soft sigh. "Wwe came here to return your sickles, along with letting you knoww things are officially set in motion. Plus, seeing you is wwonderful." The smile that curled to the seadweller's lips made John's heart sink just slightly. If there as anything that described what pale truly meant, it was the look Eridan was giving Karkat. It was so pure and so blunt that it made John's heart clench.

"As long as you're not followed, I don't care when you come to visit." Karkat stated with a shrug as he leaned into John's arm still around his shoulders.

"Please, KK, we're smarter than that."

He waved a clawed hand. "Whatever."

"That's vvery nice to knoww, Kar. It really is." Eridan nodded at Karkat and the two shared a glance that made John flush. Jealousy was not an emotion he was used to feeling. But there was something about the way Eridan looked at Karkat that made his skin crawl and his heart to clench. It was pale. That was all it was but it bothered John. The two had history. History John knew very little about. Of course the hero trusted Karkat with everything he had but he couldn't help but wonder if he would be inadequate in Eridan's shadow. He was pretty sure _he_ didn't look at Karkat that way. Because... Because he wasn't completely pale for the troll and he knew that better than anyone. Was that wrong? Was it wrong of him to lie to Karkat like that? He didn't mean to. All he wanted was to be closer to the troll.

John was so lost in his thoughts he didn't even notice when they all moved toward the door. He blinked in slight surprise as they stepped outside into the snow. The sky was still clouded but the snow had stopped falling for the time being. He realized the other two trolls were leaving and he swallowed hard against the lump in his throat.

"Wwe'll come by again wwhen wwe can. It's quite the trip honestly." Eridan said with a soft sigh.

"Sorry you couldn't stay." Karkat shrugged, taking a few steps away from John. "Maybe next time."

"That would be lovvely." Eridan opened his arms for the troll and Karkat didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around the others thin waist.

The flush of heat that ran through John's body made him feel guilty and he didn't notice Sollux till the troll slapped him on the back. "Good to meet you, hero. Maybe we'll have a better chat next time."

"Ah, yes." He glanced at his moirail before nodding at Sollux. "I've always wondered about other trolls. About Karkat's friends so I'm really glad I got to meet you." He smiled honestly.

Sollux perked a brow as he reached up to tap two claws against John's cheek. "You're good for him. Don't fuck it up." And with that Sollux walked away to the shorter troll and pounced on his back. John couldn't help but laugh as the two nearly fell into the snow.

"John." Eridan spoke softly as he approached the human and John couldn't help the way his muscles tensed at the look in those violet eyes. "It wwas a pleasure to meet you."

"You too, Eridan. I, um, hope we'll meet again." He offered a friendly smile.

"I'm sure wwe wwill." Eridan moved closer toward John to speak with him without Karkat or Sollux being able to overhear. They were a little busy anyway. With Karkat trying to get the taller troll off him. "I just wwanted to say something to you. I'vve been wwhere you are before. Taking on a moirail is a big deal and it's quite a change." John nodded, meeting those violet eyes. "Karkat is... He's special." He glanced over at the mutant troll. "He's nevver had a decent moirail. And no, I don't consider myself a decent one for him. I couldn't keep him after all." The smile that came to his lips was rather sad and it made John feel even worse for feeling jealous. "But you... You're something different. Offering yourself up for a fight that is in no way yours. For him." His smile twisted into something more fond as he eyed the human up and down. "He's happy. It's been a long time since I'vve seen him and I'm glad to see him so happy. I believe you are to blame for that. So, I thought I wwould let you knoww, I approvve of you for him. But..." He glanced at the other two trolls, noticing how Karkat was panting with anger and Sollux was just laughing at him. "Perhaps you'vve been stuffed into the wwrong quadrant?"

John blinked in surprise, a flush coming to his cheeks. "W-What?"

"Can't fool me, John." He smirked, showing off his pin sharp fangs. "Neither of you can. But give it time. He'll yield. For now, enjoy wwhat you can. And maybe some day soon, you should ask him about his brother, Kankri."

"He has a brother?" He asked, surprised.

Eridan perked an eyebrow. "He really has kept you out of the loop, hasn't he?"

"He's been very strict about keeping lines between quadrants."

The seadweller laughed softly. "That sounds like him." He patted a hand against John's arm, smiling at him. "You'll do just fine. He hasn't kicked you out yet so you're doing pretty wwell."

"I... Thank you."

Eridan nodded, giving the human a fond smile before he turned toward the other trolls. "Alright, Sol. Let's get going." He narrowed his eyes at the flush on Karkat's cheeks and he and John both couldn't help but wonder what Sollux has said to him.

"Yeah, yeah, keep your goddamn bulge in place." The troll shoved his hands into his pockets and slinked away from Karkat to join Eridan's side.

"Wwe'll see you twwo soon." Eridan stated once Karkat was back at John's side.

"Take care. Be safe." Karkat stated, tucking his hands under his arm pits against the cold.

"You as wwell."

And with that, the two trolls disappeared into the forest, waving behind them just long enough for John and Karkat to see. The two were silent for a few moments after they left, listening to the silence of the winter and shivering in the cool air.

"That was interesting." John finally stated, glancing at Karkat with a smile.

"It was." Crimson glanced at him with a faint smile. "Ready to go then?"

"Yeah!" John grinned, bouncing in the snow excitedly. "It's stopped snowing so we should head out before it starts again."

For a moment, Karkat just stared at his moirail, taking in that smile and bright eyes that were full of light. He was a whirlwind in the quiet winter. A spark of light in the dark cloudy day. Once John noticed he was being watched he met those beautifully wine colored eyes and perked a brow, his smile faltering slightly. The troll just tilted his head before giving a slight shrug as he turned back toward the cabin.

"Let's get out of here before it starts snowing again." He mumbled softly, a flush on his cheeks as he entered his home once again. Seeing the other trolls had been quite a shock to him. He didn't expect to have to introduce John to them as his moirail so soon. Especially, Eridan. But the seadweller told him John was good for him and that was all he could really take from it all. Sure, Sollux had said a hell of a lot more than he should have and there was a lot of questions John was bound to have, but Karkat was just a little glad that Eridan was okay with John. It meant something to him. Probably what it meant to John that his fellow heroes liked and approved of Karkat. That alone made the troll more nervous than he had been before. What if they didn't approve of him? Dave certainly didn't like him but that wasn't any part of Karkat's fault. He wasn't sure if he could handle the other heroes disliking him. John was his moirail and that wasn't going to change anytime soon, or so Karkat hoped. But it would be an an issue if they disliked him.

"Is this everything?" John broke through the troll's thoughts, shaking the leather satchel in his hand.

"No." He snatched up the clothes he changed out of and moved to John so he could stuff them into the bag. "Now it's everything."

"Great." The hero held it out for the troll to take and sling over his chest and shoulder. Then he picked up his own bag and did the same. "If we get there in time, we can help everyone cut down the tree."

"A tree?" Karkat narrowed his eyes slightly. "Why are you cutting down a tree?"

"It's tradition! It's Christmas, Karkat. You get a tree and you decorate it."

"Is there a point in doing that? Because it sounds really fucking ridiculous."

John pouted as he adjusted the pistols at his sides. "It's just tradition. Roxy always makes the tree really pretty, with lights and bulbs. And then we put the presents under the tree. I'm sure you have troll traditions that wouldn't make much sense to me."

Karkat thought about the drones and nodded. "Everything about trolls doesn't make much sense to you."

"Aw, Karkat, that's not fair." He pouted faintly, though his beautiful eyes were twinkling with amusement. "I try really hard and you know it."

He let out a soft sigh, a playful smile tugging on his lips as he reached up to pat John's cheek with a clawed hand. "Yeah, you do. Even I have to admit that."

A smile spread over the human's lips and he leaned down to capture soft plump lips that were more than ready for the kiss. It was a soft and sweet kiss before John pulled away with a tender smile gracing his lips. "Ready to go?"

"As ready as I can be."

"Great!" John grinned and pulled the hood over his head before he slipped out the door.

Karkat took a moment, glancing around his cabin before his eyes landed on the dresser in the corner. He eyed the top drawer, his heart clenching as his hand came up to brush over the blue waves stitched into the fabric of his tunic. With a deep breath and a hard swallow, he spun away from the dresser to snuff out the only lit lamp in the small cabin. Satisfied with that, he pulled his hood over his head, hoping it would help keep him warm along with the hat he already wore, and then left his home, shutting the door behind him.

John stood in the snow, a grin on his face and his hands on his hips. The wind blew slightly, lifting up the tail of his hood. He looked so much like a hero without even trying. Karkat couldn't help the delicate smile on his face. He trotted up to the troll before twisting around to show him his back. John had opted to leave his hammer at home. It was a choice he made, hoping he wouldn't need it. He had his pistols and his powers; that should be enough if trouble were to arise. Not to mention every hero in Albion would be in Bowerstone for a few days.

"What are you doing?" Karkat asked with a perked brow.

"You don't wanna ride me?" The troll's mind went in a completely wrong direction and the dark blush that exploded on his face and spread to his ears made John blink in surprise as he turned to face the troll. "What? N-No! I mean, the wind! Ride me with the wind and I-Shit." He stammered quickly, his face heating up to the point that Karkat thought he could melt snow with it. That alone made the troll's heart calm enough for him to let out a faint laugh. John snapped his mouth shut, his face flaming as he glanced to the snow.

"Of course you meant with the wind, where was _your_ mind going, Egbert?" Karkat teased, refusing to acknowledge that his mind had also gone in that direction or that his cheeks were glowing just as much as John's.

"I-I didn't-I don't." He bit his lower lip rather hard when Karkat reached forward to grasp his hand.

"We going or what?"

The hero swallowed hard, glancing down at their intertwined fingers before nodding gingerly. "Y-Yeah." He smiled tenderly as the wind swirled around them and without much effort, lifted them into the air. Karkat had a moment of panic and pressed close to John. The hero's smile grew as he slipped an arm around the troll's waist to keep him in place. "Do you want to hold on to me?"

Crimson glanced to the perfectly white ground and he pressed just a bit closer to John. "For now."

John's smile was warm as he planted a soft kiss to Karkat's brow. "Okay."

* * *

Bowerstone was absolutely covered in snow. But due to the normal foot and carriage traffic of the city, it was not nearly as pretty as Oakfield. Although, the entire city was decorated for the holiday. As the two flew over the large walled entrance of Bowerstone, it was easy to see how hard people had worked to decorate for Christmas. There was red and green bows and streamers almost everywhere. Lining rooftops, the bridge and even the guard towers. The white canvas of snow made the colors pop even more and Karkat was a bit in awe of it. He'd never been to a large human city and he was a bit surprised to see it was not that much different from a troll one.

"Is this normal?" Karkat questioned as his eyes scanned over rooftops.

"Hm? The decorations? It's normal for the season yes but once Christmas is over it all comes down. People really like to celebrate the holiday. It gives them something to look forward to. Something happy and warm in the middle of a harsh winter." John spoke with a fond smile on his lips, his fingers wrapped tightly around Karkat's as he male rode the wind beside him. The trip had been a little tougher than they expected. They ran into a snowstorm that chilled both of them to the bone but the warmth emanating from the city was enough to warm their hearts. "Don't trolls have holidays they celebrate?"

"Not really. Maybe a wriggling day but other than that, no."

"Well, I'm really glad you came with me, Karkat." He flashed the male a smile as they lowered to the ground. He pulled the troll close to him with an arm around his waist and nuzzled their cold noses together. "It really means a lot."

The troll flushed softly, glancing down when their feet touched the solid brick of the bridge. "I'm your moirail. It's what I do."

"Yeah, but I also know it's not too easy for you either." He pressed a tender kiss to the male's nose before he pulled away with a smile. "I just want you to know how much I appreciate it."

Karkat glanced away, noticing the few villagers who paused at their arrival. He flushed, pulling his hands away from where they were resting on John's hips and tucked them into his sleeves to keep warm. "You'd do the same for me."

"I would! And I will, if your friends need my help." He smiled as he slipped an arm around Karkat's shoulders to lead the troll down the bridge. With the hood still over his head, it was easy to keep most of his face hidden from prying eyes. Villagers paused to greet John who was happy to give them a smile and a wave. Karkat pressed close to the human's side. It had been much too long since he'd spent a decent amount of time around other humans and he was still uncomfortable with it. Though he'd never had a bad experience around them, there was still this adamant concern of being discovered by them. It was not a fear, more of a concern of causing trouble where trouble did not need to be caused.

"You only told Rose I was coming?" Karkat asked softly, glancing at a woman and her child who paused to greet the hero.

"She's really interested in meeting you and I didn't want to spring you on her. I told her we're moirails now and she seem really surprised about that." He smiled fondly at the troll as he steered them down a pathway, passing store fronts and nearing the large clock tower in the center of the city. "But she's happy for us. I told her not to tell the others though. I want it to be a surprise."

"Why?"

"I don't know, it's like a gift to them I think. Cause they're all really interested in meeting you so a surprise is a gift. Plus, if Dave doesn't know then maybe he'll be less of a dick to you."

"I highly doubt that."

John shrugged and glanced up as they neared the Lalonde home. The large two story home was decked out in reds and greens like the rest of the homes on the street. "I wonder whose here already." He pondered aloud as he led Karkat up to the door. There was a large wreath with every single hero symbol attached to it and it made John's heart fill with warmth. "Ready?" He asked, glancing to the troll beside him.

Karkat only shrugged, folding his arms over his chest as he looked up at the home. It had a sense of warmth that the troll was not used to feeling. His stomach fluttered with nerves and his heart pounded against his chest, but despite the chill of the air, he felt warm; especially with John's arm around his shoulders. The other being a little taller then him now caused them to fit together rather nicely.

"Right." John chuckled softly as he lifted his free hand to knock on the solid wooden door.

Only a few seconds later, the door opened to reveal a pink clad Roxy who wore a bright grin on her face. "Johnny!" She exclaimed before launching forward. The hero chuckled as he caught her with a free arm while Karkat quickly moved to the side to avoid her. "You're home!"

"Jeeze, Roxy, it's only been a month since I've seen you." His smile was bright as he patted her back.

"But a month is a long time Johnny!" She pulled away and without much thought she planted her plump lovely lips onto John's.

The growl that came from the back of Karkat's throat was completely unexpected and sent a chill down John's spine. Roxy pulled away at the growl, her eyes darkening as they landed on the troll. They shared a glare before Roxy blinked in surprise. "Are you..." She gasped and turned back to John. "You brought Karkat?!"

"Uh, Yeah." He forced a smile as he glanced at Karkat whose lips were still pulled back in a snarl. "K-Karkat, this is Roxy. Roxy, Karkat."

"Karkat!" Her face lit up, a smile coming to her lovely lips as she moved toward the troll. "Oh, It's lovely to finally meet you!" She clapped her hands together, leaning toward the troll who was roughly her height. "Johnny's told me _so_ much about you!"

Karkat let out a soft hiss that he quickly tried to push down. He was overreacting. Why was he reacting at all? So she kissed John. What did that mean? It meant nothing. Because Karkat didn't have red feelings for John at all. Nope. He swallowed hard, forcing down the growl rolling up his throat. He didn't trust his voice so he only nodded at her, curling his hands into fists at his sides.

"Karkat?" A warm feminine voice spoke from within the home. "John's troll?"

"Janey!" Roxy quickly grabbed Karkat's wrist without a second thought and pulled the troll into the house. "Karkat's here!"

"Uh! Roxy!" John quickly followed them inside, shutting the door behind him as Roxy dragged a slightly willing Karkat over to the lovely plump raven haired lady standing in the kitchen.

"Roxy, be gentle with him." Jane spoke softly, her pale blue eyes bright behind red-framed glasses. Her hair was cut short, framing her rounded face beautifully. She wore a lovely blue dress with a white apron that she rubbed her hands on.

Roxy paused in front of her, releasing Karkat only to push him toward her. "Karkat, this is Janey."

"Hello." She offered a kind smile to him, holding out a clean hand to the troll.

Karkat eyed the hand before glancing back at John who wore a very worried expression. He shifted from foot to foot behind the three of them, almost as if he wanted to grab Karkat and pull him away from the women. The troll took a deep breath and reached his hand out to wrap clawed fingers around Jane's warm hand as he tugged the hood from his head. "Hello."

Jane noticed his claws, a look of interest crossing in her eyes as they shook hands. "It's a pleasure to have you join us for this holiday."

"Thank you for having me." Karkat managed to speak in an even tone though his chest still clenched tightly.

Jane nodded as they released one another. "You'll have to excuse Roxy. She's rather excitable."

"Don't overwhelm him, Roxy." The new slightly deeper feminine voice caught Karkat's attention and he turned to the stairs case to see a lovely blonde woman descend the stairs. "Trolls are not used to a lot of human contact."

John's face lit up and he moved to grasp Karkat's hand. The troll felt a sense of calm when those warm long fingers wrapped around his and pulled him toward Rose. She wore a soft expression, her smile kind and her eyes lively. As they moved toward her, Karkat removed the hat from his head and stuffed it in his belt, combing claws through his mess of raven hair.

"Rose! Um," John smiled as they paused in front of her and he released Karkat's hand to slip an arm around his back. "This is Karkat, my moirail." The way he spoke showed a sense of pride that made Karkat's cheeks flush slightly. "Karkat. _This_ is Rose."

Those purple eyes were bright as she took him in and her smile was so familiar it made his heart clench. She took a step forward and held a perfectly manicured hand out for him. "It's an honor to finally meet you."

Karkat swallowed, glancing at John before he grasped her warm small hand. "The honor is mine." And it really was. John cared a lot about what Rose thought; that was very obvious.

Her smile grew as she squeezed his hand. "I'm very glad you could join us."

"I'm happy to be here." He nodded in response as they released each other.

"He's cuter than you described, Johnny." Roxy spoke softly from beside the troll, an appreciative gleam in her eyes as she looked Karkat over. "Sorry for kissing your boyfriend, by the way." Her smile was apologetic as she waved a hand in John's direction. "Habit really. I didn't mean to step into your territory or nothing."

"What? No! Roxy, we're not." John's cheeks flushed as he shook his head. "We're not um like that."

"Really?" She tilted her head. "His growl was the most possessive thing I've ever heard."

"Trolls react differently than humans to certain things, Roxy." Rose explained gently as she folded her hands in front of her. "I do hope we manage to make you feel comfortable here, Karkat." She said as she offered him a friendly smile. "John's moirail is family to us."

Karkat glanced around the room, taking in Jane and Rose's warm smiles and Roxy's strange but kind smile. John watched him with a pinch of worry in his smile and though his heart was pounding because of his reaction to Roxy's kiss, he did feel comfortable. Because John's hand was warm against his lower back and that was all that mattered. Sure his reaction to Roxy kissing his moirail was a little out of line and so far from pale it wasn't okay, but he hadn't attacked her or anything. Plus, they were human. They didn't understand the slip up like a troll would.

"I already feel very comfortable." He spoke softly, glancing up at John and earned a warm smile in return.

"Lovely!" Roxy clapped her hands together.

"Why don't the two of you rest in John's old room for a while until the others arrive. I know you had a long trip." Rose offered.

"No one else is here yet?" John asked with a hint of surprise.

"They're all coming from Aurora and well, You know Striders."

"Always have to be late and such." Roxy waved a hand as she moved back over to Jane. "Need help, doll?" She asked, pecking a cheek to a flushed round cheek.

"Why thank you, sweetie. I'd love some help."

"Well, we should put our stuff away anyway." John shrugged. "We'll be back down soon."

"Alright. No rush." Rose nodded her head to Karkat before she moved past them to join the other two in the kitchen.

John slipped his hand down Karkat's back till he could grasp a clawed hand. Wine eyes looked the hero up and down before they moved up the stairs together. Once they were up the stairs and turned down a hallway John shifted to nuzzle into soft black hair. "I'm sorry about Roxy. I should have warned you she could be like that."

"It's not really that different from you." The troll shrugged, finally having a firm grasp on his anger. "You grab me all the time."

"Yeah, But I'm... And I meant the kiss." He pouted softly.

"Oh. Well, we're pale, not red. And really, us kissing is pushing the whole pale thing anyway. I think Eridan would pop a vessel if he knew how much you kissed me." He stated with a shrug.

"Hey you kiss me just as much as I kiss you." John pointed out as they came to a door at the end of the hallway. He opened it for Karkat and allowed the troll to enter first.

"I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about." He mumbled as he glanced around the room. It was a nice size with a bed, dresser and washroom in the corner.

John snorted softly. "Right. Course you don't." He shut the door behind them and moved to toss his bag onto the bed. "That growl meant nothing at all."

Karkat's lips curled over his fangs as he moved forward to grab a fistful of John's tunic. "You shouldn't leave yourself so open like that."

"Oh," Dark eyebrows perked, "so it _does_ bother you."

"Fuck, of course it does. It'd bother you, wouldn't it?" He hissed softly, his crimson eyes glowing with an anger John hadn't seen in a long time.

The smirk that curled to John's lips as he circled his arms around Karkat's waist was a bit more predatory than Karkat was used to. "I'm not an expert like you are in the troll quadrants but that was pretty red, Karkat." He teased softly.

Grey cheeks flushed as he snarled. "Shut up." He gave John's shirt a tug and that was all it took to bring him down for a hard kiss. Blunt nails dug into the fabric at his sides as his claws clutched at John's shoulders. The kiss was hard, a bit passionate and not pale in any manner. Karkat pulled away quickly, licking his lips as he pushed John away from him. "Just don't let it happen again."

"Okay." John caught his breath, his cheeks flushed as he watched the troll dump his bag on the bed. "Um... Karkat-"

"We're not talking about it."

"Right..." He glanced down at the clothing the troll was wearing and rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. "Do you want to change? Or are you comfortable in my clothes?"

"I'm perfectly fine." He stated with a shrug.

"We're going to go get a tree once everyone's here so it's best for you to stay in warm clothes anyway." He nodded. "How are you feeling?"

"I feel fine." The troll ran a clawed hand through his hair, fluffing it slightly so it would lay properly. "Rose is rather nice."

John perked up at his words. "Yeah! I think she likes you. I know she's just itching to talk to you more about trolls and stuff."

"I wouldn't mind that."

"Well, let's go back downstairs then. And Karkat?" He approached the other, placing gentle hands on his shoulder. "Relax, okay?" He smiled, rubbing those tense shoulders as he pressed their foreheads together. "They like you. You don't have to be so nervous."

"Let's go, fuckass." He mumbled against his slight embarrassment and averted his eyes to the floor.

John just grinned in response, slipping his hand into Karkat's before the two left the room. Voices drifted up the stairs and John wondered what Jane was busy baking. Christmas Eve dinner was always a great event. They didn't get to taste Jane's wonderful cooking too often so Christmas was the perfect time to do so. John was rather excited about it. But as they neared the stairs, a feminine voice John did not recognize floated up the stairs. The soft voice struck Karkat to the core and he froze, catching John's attention.

"Karkat?" The hero questioned, tilting his head and furrowed his brow at the look of pure shock on the troll's face. "What's wrong?"

"Kanaya." He mumbled breathlessly before his body moved on its own. John called out to him but he heard nothing. Not even the sounds of his boots clunking against the stairs as he hurried down them. By the time the lower floor came into view all crimson eyes could see was the tall, elegant young _troll_ standing in the living room with Rose. Her skin was just a grey as his, with a faint green flush on her sharp cheeks. Her black hair was cut short, shorter than Karkat's, and brushed over her forehead in an elegant fashion. Two, candy corn colored horns shot out from that hair, one into a pointed tip while the other came back like one side of an arrow. Karkat froze at the bottom of the stairs but the noise he made caught her attention and then all he could see were beautiful lime colored eyes that struck him to the core.

Her eyes widened at him and a perfectly manicured hand came up to cover her black coated lips. Her expression spoke volumes to the shorter troll. The lime colored tears that welled in her eyes were all it took for Karkat to move. They moved slowly toward one another while Rose looked on with a tender smile on her lips. John had followed Karkat quickly down the stairs but he was struck still at the sight of the female troll as much as Karkat had been. Jane and Roxy were silent in the kitchen, watching on with soft smiles as well. Rose had informed them early on about Kanaya.

"Oh, Karkat." Kanaya spoke softly, a lime tear slipping down her cheek as she paused. "It's really... It's really you, isn't it?"

"Kanaya..." Karkat's throat tightened and though red tears formed in his eyes, he didn't seem to notice them. His eyes swirled with a strange emotion and his lips quivered just slightly. "I didn't... It's... _K-Kanaya_." His voice broke on her name and in an instant, the female troll moved forward in a furry of fabric. Strong yet thin graceful arms wrapped around Karkat's shaking shoulders tightly, pulling the shorter troll against her and tucked him under her chin. "Kanaya." He mumbled, his voice tight as he grabbed onto her sides, claws clutching the fabric of her dark purple dress.

"Oh, Karkat." Her voice was light as she closed her eyes, leaning a cheek against his hair while her painted sharp claws slipped into his thick hair. "It's been far _far_ too long." Lime tears slipped down her cheeks and she could feel with the way Karkat's shoulders were shaking, red tears were falling against her dress.

"I'm sorry... Oh god, Kanaya." Karkat shook in her arms, the warm familiarity of the hug make his heart clench and his breath hard to find. "I'm so sorry." His eyes closed tightly against her bosom, red tears slipping out as he clutched her tightly.

"Shhh, Shh. Don't apologize. You have nothing to apologize for." She spoke tenderly, brushing his hair through her fingers. "I'm just so glad to see you. I never thought..." Her voice pitched a little higher and she swallowed hard. "I thought I wouldn't ever see you again."

"You too." He swallowed hard past his tight throat and pulled back enough to look her in the eyes. She was just as lovely as she had always been. She had meant almost everything to Karkat a long time ago. She was like a female lusus to him and if it were not for Eridan or Gamzee, she would have been his permanent moirail. Instead, she fit in his ashen quadrant and slipped into the pale one anytime Gamzee wasn't there for him. Which was almost all the time. "I..." Tears welled up in his eyes once again and his face contorted with a type of pain that made her gasp.

"Don't you think for an instant I am angry with you in any manner." She spoke sternly, cupping his face between her hands so he would meet her eyes. "You did what was best. You did what you had to do and I will never fault you for that."

With a deep breath, Karkat wrapped his clawed hands around her wrists and nuzzled into her hands, a faint smile coming to his lips. "I'm so happy to see you. I've... really missed you."

"I've missed you, Karkat. If Rose had told me you were right under my nose sooner, I would have come to see you." They both glanced at the blonde who only gave them an innocent smile.

"John... He mentioned you often but I just... I didn't have enough hope to believe it was actually you."

"Rose never told me Kanaya was a troll!" John pointed out, moving to stand beside the blonde.

"You never asked." She replied coolly, cutting her eyes up at the taller hero.

"How do I ask that? I mean, I know Karkat mentioned he knew a Kanaya but I... Well shit." He sighed softly, running a hand through his hair before that hand was suddenly grabbed by sharp claws and he was pulled the side. "Ah, Karkat." He gasped in surprise but followed along as the troll tugged him over to Kanaya.

Karkat's cheeks were flushed as he pulled John beside him in front of the tall, beautiful female troll. "Kanaya, This is John." He glanced up at the human with affectionate crimson eyes. "My moirail."

The smile that came to Kanaya's black painted lips made John's heart flush with warmth. It was a beautifully fond smile that reminded him of how Rose would smile at him sometimes. "It's lovely to finally meet you, John."

"I... It's an honor." John smiled, gripping Karkat's hand just as tightly as the troll was gripping his. "I've been wanting to meet you for a while. To thank you for all you do for us."

"You're very welcome, then." She bowed her head, sparing Karkat a glance. "I see you're putting the clothing that no longer fits you to well use."

Karkat's cheeks flushed as he glanced down at his clothing. "These are really well made, Kanaya. You're work has improved since I last saw you." He rubbed his free hand over the symbol on his chest.

"It means so much that you say that. You never noticed my work much." She teased softly, a fond humor in her voice.

"Well, you tend to notice things you don't have any longer." Though his smile was much smaller than hers, the fond nature of it was just as bright.

"I take that to mean you really need new clothes, Karkat." She laughed softly.

"I'm alright wearing John's. They're very warm."

"Aw, Karkat, that's kinda sweet." The human chuckled softly as he leaned down to nuzzle into soft dark hair.

Grey cheeks flushed red as he nudged his shoulder against John's. "Shut up."

"You two are cute." Kanaya spoke softly, laughing softly behind her hand as Rose came up beside her to nod in agreement.

"Aren't they just? Why don't you and Karkat catch up?" Rose suggested, glancing up at the female troll.

"Oh, that would be lovely."

* * *

"They stopped by before we left." Karkat spoke softly, his hands folded against his stomach as he leaned back into the puffy couch. John sat at his side, keeping him pushed against the arm of the couch while Kanaya and Rose sat on the other couch beside them. The two couches created a corner, one pushed against the wall beside the front door while the other was near the stair well against the wall.

"I have not spoken to either of them in such a long time." Kanaya sipped her tea, her legs crossed and her back straight as she sat primly on the couch. "I've only spoken with Terezi in the past few sweeps though, so I am aware of Feferi's movements."

"How, um, how is Terezi?" He asked softly, rubbing the back of his neck. His shoulders were tense even though he felt relaxed and comfortable.

"She's well." She leaned forward to place her cup of tea on the small coffee table. "She mentions you occasionally. Though, I don't think she is aware Eridan found you."

Karkat snorted softly as he crossed his arms over his chest. "If they told her where I was she'd come barreling through without a second thought and lead the drones right to me."

"Oh, That's probably true." She smiled fondly. "You are missed, Karkat."

"So I've heard." He rolled his shoulders and when John reached out to him, he didn't object to the hand that came to the back of his neck. Strong warm fingers pressed into the back of his neck, rubbing and rolling the skin in a pleasing manner. Karkat let out a soft chirp in the back of his throat as he rolled his head forward.

"Does you're head hurt?" John asked softly, leaning toward the troll as he rubbed his neck. He recognized the way Karkat squinted occasionally and rolled his shoulders as his way of trying to relieve headaches he would get.

"A bit." He mumbled, not ashamed to have John rub the tension out of his neck in front of the two women. He trusted Kanaya with his well-being and life, and well it was obvious she shared something special with Rose and that alone made him trust her. Not to mention what the blonde human meant to John.

Those fingers pressed a little harder into his skin, pushing against muscles to relieve the tension, easing the pain in his head. Without even realizing it, a soft purr escaped his lips and it made Kanaya's cheeks flush a lovely lime color. Crimson blinked in surprise and he glanced up to see her watching him with a knowing look in her eyes. The purring wasn't all that strange for John and he just rubbed a little hard. Purring meant he was doing well and that was all that mattered to him. Those fingers pushing in a particularly hard spot and once they eased out the knot, Karkat's head fell back to release a deep rumbling purr. He was quick to grab John's hand, his cheeks flaring at the way Kanaya watched him. He kept hold of John's hand, keeping it between him as he leaned against the human's shoulder.

"Feel better?" John asked, completely oblivious to Karkat's embarrassment.

"Yeah, Thanks." He gave his moirail a shy smile that made the human smile in return.

"Good." He leaned forward to plant a kiss against a flushed cheek before he settled back in his seat. "So where is everyone else? I thought they'd be here by now. We need to go get a tree."

"Oh my god, right?" Roxy came practically out of no where and plopped down beside John on the couch. She had been busy in the kitchen with Jane but was tuned into their conversation. "It'll be dark soon. We'll have to go without them."

"We can't do that." John responded with a pout. "It's tradition."

She kicked her feet as she leaned back into the couch. "But I'm bored." She whined softly. "I want go get going so I can decorate already!"

"Perhaps I should try to contact them." Rose pondered, her purple eyes drifting to the fireplace. Then she blinked, her attention turning to the front door. "Or not."

"It's always fascinating how you do that." Kanaya commented with a loving smile on her lips.

"Do what?" John asked but then there was a strange thump outside the home that caught their attention. "Oh, is that them?"

"I swear you Striders are so annoying!" Jade's voice drifted into the home before the door swung open to reveal the brunette. "Oh." Her eyes scanned the room, landing on Kanaya and then Karkat before a grin burst onto her face. "Hello everyone!" She threw her hands up as she entered the home, her red and green dress flowing around her.

"We were starting to worry!" Roxy hopped to her feet to great the young hero. "Where's Dirky and Jakey?"

Jade jabbed her thumb at the open door and Roxy quickly rushed out the door. The sudden squeak and thump made the heroes left in the house smile knowingly. "Karkat!" Jade moved quickly toward the troll who moved to his feet along with John. "You came! John! Why didn't you tell me he was coming?" She was quick to punch him in the arm with a playful smile on her lips.

"I wanted to surprise you."

"Consider me surprised! Hello, Karkat!" Jade opened her arms to the troll who looked her up and down. "I'm Jade! It's great to meet you!"

His expression relaxed and he shuffled forward with an outstretched arm. "Hello, Jade."

She released a soft squeal as she quickly wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging the troll tightly as he hugged her gently with one arm. "Oh! This is wonderful! I can't want for Dave to see you." She pulled away with a smirk on her lips though her green eyes were full of happiness and life. "He's gonna lose his shit!"

"I take it you two are fighting again?" John said with a chuckle.

"Ugh, he's so annoying sometimes." She pouted as she crossed her arms over her chest. "We're late because those two like to take their sweet ass time. So do me a favor and rip him a new one, Karkat. Apparently, you're good at that."

"It would be my pleasure." He purred softly, a faint smirk coming to his lips.

"Did I really fucking hear what I thought I-Oh fucking christ there's two trolls in the living room." Dave grumbled as he entered the home and dropped the two bags he had in his hands to the floor.

"That's rather rude, Dave." Rose spoke up as she and Kanaya moved to join Karkat, John and Jade.

"Aw, Shit, this is your lady friend, Rose? My apologies." He spoke as he approached them and then bowed slightly to Kanaya. "Great to finally meet you."

"Nice to meet you as well." Kanaya spoke evenly, a smile on her lips but her eyes were a bit suspicious.

"Not so great to see you, Karkles." Dave turned to look the shorter troll up and down.

"My displeasure." Karkat hissed softly, moving bit closer to John.

"Sup with this, Egbert? Dude's wearing your clothes? You guys hit home base already or what?" Dave teased, motioning to the clothes Karkat wore.

"Dave!" John's cheeks flushed. "Be nice."

"I don't see how any of that is your business to begin with, bulgefart." He stated, crossing his arms over his chest, pulling his lip over his fangs.

A blonde eyebrow perked as Dave shifted from foot to foot. "I need to know if my best bro is getting down and gross with a douchfuck like you. Make sure he doesn't catch anything bad."

"Dave!" John snapped softly, slipping between Karkat and his fellow hero. "You're being really rude."

"They are moirails now, Dave." Rose spoke up. "It would be nice if you could be reasonable for once."

"Moirails? That crazy platonic boyfriends thing?"

"That's what I said!" Roxy stated as she pounced on Dave from behind, pulling herself up so she could look over his shoulder. He seemed completely unfazed by it. "I thought he was gonna rip my face off when I kissed Johnny."

"Neither of you are making this any better." Jade stated, perking a brow as she glanced between Karkat and Dave.

"Hello!" Jake stated as he entered the home with Dirk not far behind him. The tension in the room was obvious and it made him pause. "Merry Christmas?"

"Merry Christmas." John stated as he grasped Karkat's hand and pulled him over to the tall brunette. "Jake, I want you to meet Karkat."

Green eyes lit up and a grin came to his lips. "Oh! Really?" He turned his attention to the troll who gave him a good once over. "Hello! I've heard so much about you! John talked about you constantly when he came to visit last month." He stuck his strong tanned hand out for the troll.

"It's nice to meet you." Claws wrapped around that strong outstretched hand.

Jake brightened at Karkat's strong grip as they shook hands. "If I may, you are a rather attractive creature."

"Jeeze, Jake, don't hit on the guy with me right here." Dirk mumbled softly, leaning a elbow on the brunette's shoulder.

"I am doing no such thing! I didn't know what to expect a troll to look like and I'm pleased to see they're not too different from ourselves." He stated as he released Karkat's hand.

"He is a cutie, ain't he?" Roxy perked up, leaning against Dirk's other side. "Johnny's so lucky."

"Don't you have a woman of your own?" Dirk reminded her.

"Oh right. Janey! Look whose here!" She grabbed Dirk's arm and the male allowed her to drag him off into the kitchen.

"Does this mean we can go get the tree then?" John asked, glancing around at the remaining heroes.

"Oh you waited for us? Wonderful! We already stopped by the Inn to drop off our things." Jake said with a smile. "We're all ready to go."

"I'm so excited!" Jade clapped her hands together. "I love Christmas so much!"

"I'm rather excited as well." Rose spoke with a smile, glancing up at Kanaya who nodded in agreement.

"Great. So, tree?" John asked.

"Tree!" Jade, Roxy and Jake said in response.

* * *

"I'm sorry he was an asshole." John whispered softly into Karkat's covered ear as the two followed along behind the pack of heroes.

Karkat just shrugged, knowing exactly who John was referring to. Said asshole was busy getting yelled at by Jade as the two walked along near the front of the pack. Rose and Kanaya were just in front of Karkat and John, yet far enough away that it gave the two a little privacy as they moved toward the woods outside of Bowerstone. "I didn't expect any less."

"I'm still sorry." John had an arm wrapped around Karkat's back and the troll was content to lean into the other as they walked. The temperature had dropped and it was rather cold outside. Though John's old clothes were warm, he still couldn't help but feel the slight chill of the winter breeze. "I guess he's still kinda jealous."

"No. I don't think it's that. It might have been that in the beginning but I recognize the way he looks at me." Karkat stated softly, glancing up at the human.

"What do you mean?"

"He enjoys fucking with me. Pushing my buttons and whatnot. He finds a sense of pleasure in it. That's what a true black feeling is."

John blinked in surprise. "Dave is black for you?"

"He's human." Karkat stated with a shrug.

"Are you... Are you black for him?"

Crimson eyes rolled. "My hate is completely platonic, you can rest easy about that."

"Oh." He sighed in relief. "Good."

"Hm?"

"Well, I just... It'd be really weird if you suddenly had hate fights with my best bro and hate... kissing and stuff." His face flushed at the thought and he quickly glanced away to the darkening sky.

"You have nothing to worry about." Karkat's face crinkled up in disgust. "I would never want to even touch that disgusting rodhumping bulgescratcher." He hissed between his teeth, crimson landing on said bulgescrather. "Unless it was to rip his flesh from his bones and shove it down his protein shoot."

John crinkled his nose though a smile curled to his lips. "That's really gross, Karkat."

"Yes, well, there's plenty more I won't bother to say."

He chuckled softly as he leaned closer to nuzzle his face against Karkat's cheek. "I should probably be concerned that you want to do those things to my best bro, but I'm oddly not."

"Because you know I actually won't. Since he's your 'best bro' and I have no desire to upset you."

"That... That's really sweet actually." He pulled away, a warm smile on his lips as he watched the troll beside him.

"You have a fucked up sense of romance if you think that's sweet." Karkat rolled his eyes before glancing to see John staring at him.

"Well, I don't really know much about romance." He shrugged, rubbing his hand over Karkat's back in a soothing gesture. "I've never been with anyone. And those books you read aren't really that great of an example. They're too... unrealistic."

"Do not insult my books." Karkat stated with a faint glare. "Romance is not something that can be explained that simply, nor is it the same for everyone. Perhaps in some cases, my books are a bit unrealistic but sometimes, love is as well. Sometimes, it's a fleeting feeling that can never be explained and other times, it's a lasting wonderfully painful feeling."

"Love's not suppose to be painful, Karkat."

"Then you know nothing about love. Because you can not have love without pain. When you love someone, being without them causes you pain. Loving someone may not always equal pain but somewhere, somehow it will cause you pain. It may be a pleasant pain or it may not. It's not something that can be predicted but it is something that will always be there. Love is not perfect. It is beautifully flawed just as we are. And it is the most wonderful feeling in the world."

John licked his dry lips, his cheeks flushing at the words of the troll. "So, you've been in love before?"

"Hell no." He waved a hand in dismissal.

"Then... You're just a romantic at heart?"

"I guess."

"That's... really cute, Karkat." He mumbled softly as he leaned forward to plant a kiss to a flushed grey cheek.

"Hey lovebirds!" Jade called from the front of the pack as they all came to a stop. Neither had noticed when they came to the forest and the others spread out to look for the perfect tree. "You gonna be lovey dovey all night or are you gonna help us find a tree!" She giggled, waving a hand in the air at the two of them.

John flushed and pulled away from Karkat to float into the air. "Right cause the way you and Dave fight isn't a show of affection at all!" John teased back, a playful smile on his lips as he glanced down at Karkat.

Jade's tanned face was already flushed from the cold but it was obvious when it deepened just a bit. "I don't know what you're talking about!"

"Yeah, dude, you've got troll juice for brains." Dave added in, his hands shoved into his pockets as he stood near Jade.

"That's not offensive at all." Rose mumbled softly, patting a hand over Kanaya's arm.

"You're so _rude,_ Dave. And that reminds me!" The blue-clad hero smirked as he floated a little higher in the air. "I didn't greet you properly."

"Don't do it, dude." Dave tensed and held his hands up when Jade suddenly came from behind him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

"I've got him, John!"

"Dude, No."

But John didn't listen of course. The swooped through the air, spinning through the wind and crashed into Dave and Jade with a laugh so loud it echoed through the forest. The three landed in the snow, two of them laughing and it spread to a few other heroes. Rose excused herself from Kanaya to join her fellow heroes and to laugh at Dave's misfortune.

"They are a lively bunch." Kanaya commented softly as she stepped up beside Karkat, her eyes on the four heroes in the snow.

"He's happy when he's with them." He shrugged, folding his arms over his chest so he could tuck his cold hands into the warm folds of his green tunic.

"He's happy when he is with you, as well." She smiled kindly at him, her eyes full of warmth. "As are you."

Karkat shrugged, letting his eyes drift away from his grinning moirail to look up at the troll he'd missed quite a lot. "He keeps life entertaining."

She hummed softly. "I always wondered how you were doing. Where you were; if you were taking proper care of yourself. Twenty sweeps is a long time, Karkat, even for trolls. What have you been doing in all that time?"

He shrugged, his eyes casting a glance at his blue-eyes moirail who was now helping the other heroes pick out a tree. For a moment, their eyes met and the smile on John's face grew. He moved to call out to the troll but Rose's hand on his arm stopped him. Karkat just gave the human a soft smile as he was dragged toward the trees. "I can't say I've done anything too interesting. John's the most interesting thing that happened to me."

"How long have you been together?"

Karkat took a moment to think. "We've been moirails for maybe two weeks now. But, he showed up six or seven perigrees ago."

"Showed up?" Kanaya perked an elegant brow, a smile curling on her lips. "How did you two meet?"

"We was an annoying little scumshit that followed me home out of curiosity and he just never fucking left."

"And... you did not make him?"

Karkat let out a soft sigh and he lowered his eyes to the ground. "It'd been a long time since I'd even had a conversation with someone. And hating him was fun."

"Hate?" She sounded a bit surprised. "You hated him?"

"Kinda. He was annoying and knew what buttons to push. He seemed to enjoy it too. But well, that all fucking fell apart because he's human and they can't separate shit like that." He sighed softly, his eyes drifting to the human. He certainly didn't regret the turn of events but things had been more simple when he thought he just hated the hero.

"That is true. Humans are... Well, they are lovely creatures. So much like us and yet so different. It was hard at first, but I learned how to work with them. I learned how someone could fit into two quadrants when that person is human." She glanced at Rose, a loving expression on her face.

Karkat followed her eyes. "So that's it, huh? No, 'Karkat you need to be careful'. Or, 'Karkat he's human he'll hurt you. They don't understand us.' None of that?"

"I would be a hypocrite then, would I not?" She let out a soft laugh as she met his eyes once again.

"Damn. Even Eridan was fine with it. I don't get it." He nudged the toe of his boot against the snow and his eyes drifted downward.

"You're happy, Karkat. That is so very easy to see. You were not happy back then. You were so..." She drifted off, letting out a faint sigh as she placed an elegant hand on his shoulder. "I believe we are both just happy that someone has come along to make you properly smile, even if he's human. He may not understand our ways but you may not understand his either. As long as the both of you are willing to work together and meet somewhere in the middle, everything will work out just fine."

"Meet... in the middle?"

"You have to remember he has his ways too, Karkat. Humans love with everything they have." She gave him a knowing look that made his cheeks flush. "You are right, they are unable to separate things such as pale and red love. To them, it is almost the same thing. What we would consider pale... to them, is the equivalent of what you see between your John and that blonde male."

"You're saying he's not pale for me."

"Well, in a way he is. He wants to take care of you. He wants you to be happy and find ways to keep you so. To them, that is also a form of showing love." She lifted her hand to brush a knuckle over Karkat's cheek. "My point, Karkat, is that if you're willing to meet John halfway, you might discover something you never thought possible."

He leaned into her touch, his ears flushing as he glanced at his moirail. "I don't think I'm quite ready for that."

"That is understandable. But do think on it." Kanaya smiled kindly at him as she removed her hands from him and folded them into the pockets of her long dress.

"I... I will."

* * *

Karkat watched in slight amusement as John flew in the air above them with Roxy not far behind him. The woman had insisted he let her fly with him and he didn't have any objections. They were enjoying themselves as they headed back to Bowerstone with a freshly cut tree. The tree was not very large but it was full and green. Karkat did not understand the tradition, nor did Kanaya, but it made the humans happy so they felt no reason to complain. Jade had done something special to the stump and stated the tree would regrow. Considering the magic Karkat had seen from John, he was not surprised she was capable of such a thing.

"Hey, Karkat." Jade grinned as she stepped up beside the lone troll, her hands folded behind her back.

He glanced at her, nodding in greeting. "Hello."

"Mind if I walk with you?"

"You can do as you please."

"Great!." She grinned, shifting to match his step as they followed behind the rest of the group. "So. You and John are moirails now, huh?"

"Yes."

"That's pretty cool. I don't know too much about trolls and stuff but I know that's a pretty big deal."

"We're not... boyfriends, whatever that means."

"Oh!" She giggled softly. "Boyfriends are like, lovers. Two guys who are lovers. Like, I'd be your girlfriend if it was you and me."

His cheeks flushed as he quickly glanced away from her. "We are not lovers."

"I know that, silly. But you might as well be."

Crimson met vibrant green. "What do you mean?"

Jade let out a soft sigh as she raised her eyes to the sky. "Well, see, before you came along? John was kinda... How do I put this? John was lonely. He never said he was or even really acted like it, but I know he was. Though we all love him to death, he's always felt a little different from the rest of us. Maybe cause he wasn't raised by humans till a later age. We don't really know." She shrugged but picked up on the way Karkat's lips pressed together tightly and he looked to the snow-covered ground. "For a long time... Heck, for as long as I've known him, he's been searching for something. I'm not sure what, but he couldn't stay still for too long. He never really called Bowerstone his home. It was like..." She paused, clicking her tongue against her teeth. "Like he was living just because he didn't know what else to do. Like being a hero was not his only purpose."

Karkat glanced at her with a touch of confusion. These were things Karkat did not know about John. Though the human had spoken often about his life before Karkat, this was something he'd not been told. He remained silent as Jade continued, wishing to hear more of what she had to say.

"It was as if he was searching for something. Yeah, he loved helping people and saving lives and being a hero but there was always something missing, you know? And then... he found you." She spoke that last sentence so fondly it made the troll glanced up at her. "We were all pretty shocked, to be honest. Cause you're a troll. But he was so... interested in you. And then he made Oakfield his home just so he could be closer to you and it was like..." She giggled softly, her tanned cheeks flushing faintly as she looked the troll over. "This is going to sound so corny but... It's almost as if he's finally found what he was searching for."

Something in Karkat's chest constricted tightly and his breath caught in his throat. "Yeah..." He mumbled breathlessly. "That is corny."

Jade laughed, slapping his shoulder playfully. "Well, it's true! You should have seem him before, Karkat. You'd know what I mean. He never really showed such interest in someone. Even when he was crushing on Jake! It was nothing like how he is with you. Really, I think his Jake crush was more of an admiration and he just couldn't tell the difference. I mean, he's pretty much all over you and you sure don't stop him." She teased softly, a hint of humor in her voice.

"He's my moirail." Karkat stated, though the flush on his cheeks and ears was enough to make Jade smile knowingly. What was it with women and them knowing things?

"You know, I think, maybe you were searching for something too. Maybe you both were searching and maybe you've both found what you were looking for." She pondered aloud.

His body flushed with warmth as he pulled his tunic around himself tighter. "That's a pretty bold statement." He mumbled softly, trying to hide his flushing face in his tunic.

"Is it? Hm, maybe so." She shrugged, moving to pat his back gently. "All that matters is you're both happy. So we're really happy to see John is so happy. Never seen him this happy actually. And we're happy you're here! Cause meeting you is a really important step, you know? Jeeze, as much as John talks about you I kinda feel like I already know you pretty well."

"I wasn't aware he spoke about me so much."

"Ohhh yeah. He'd yammer on and on about you." She giggled softly, rubbing her nose with the back of her hand. "It was pretty cute actually."

"Are you talking about me?" John's voice floated down from above and they both looked up to see the hero flying above them with a suspicious look on his face.

"Sure are!" Jade stated with a grin.

"Whatever she says is a lie." John landed gracefully on Karkat's other side and slipped his arm around the troll's back. "Especially if it's anything embarrassing."

"How rude!" She laughed and reached behind Karkat to bop the wind hero on his head. "I was being nice to him; I'm not Dave."

"Course you're not. Not sexy enough." Said Strider stated as he appeared on Jade's other side.

"You're so full of yourself some times." Jade groaned, rolling her eyes as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"More like all the time." John teased as he pulled Karkat a little closer to his side.

"Now, Now." Rose spoke as she and Kanaya stepped up beside John. "I disagree. If Dave were so full of himself, he would not be so desperate for others attention."

"Aw, damn, Lalonde, you wound me." Dave pressed a hand to his chest as if he were pained but it was obvious they were teasing one another.

With two heroes on either side of him and Kanaya near him as well, Karkat felt rather warm in the cold winter air. They were so full of life and it was a nice change from spending all his time with just John. He enjoyed their time alone together but being around others was nice as well. He felt accepted without having to ask and for a mutant troll like Karkat, that was a rather big deal.

* * *

The Lalonde home was warm and bright, stuffed full with all eight heroes and two trolls. It hardly saw so much life and when Christmas rolled around, it was a lovely event. Lovely to have all of the heroes together in one place all at once. They were a family, even if they spent so much time apart. No matter what, they would be a family. Whether they were related by blood or not, they were a family and would always be one. The home was warm and decorated for the holiday. And now, they had a tree. They stuck it directly in the middle of the open bottom floor, between the living room and kitchen.

Roxy was busy decorating the tree with Rose's and Jake's occasional help. Jane and Jade were busy in the kitchen, cleaning up after a quick dinner and preparing anything they would need for the Christmas dinner the next day. Dirk and Dave sat on the floor by the tree with crates of decorations around them, ready to hand over whatever the other three heroes may need as they tried to make the tree as pretty as possible with bows, bulbs and other varies objects they'd collected over the years. Rose sat comfortably on one of the couches with Kanaya at her side while Karkat curled against John's side on the other couch. The troll was too warm and comfortable to care if anyone thought their cuddling was out-of-place.

John's arm was tight around his back as Karkat leaned into his side, his head resting on the heroes shoulder as played one of John's pistols. The room was full of life, Dave and jade going back and forth while Jake, Roxy and Dirk did as well. Rose and Kanaya spoke softly to one another and he couldn't help but notice the way the female troll continued to glace at him and give the most warm smile he'd seen in a long time. But he was growing weary. With a full belly and the warmth of his moirail, he felt tired. His sleep schedule was pretty out-of-order and he still wasn't used to it. So his eyes grew heavy as he rubbed his thumb over the cool metal of the pistol.

John shifted his hand from Karkat's side to thread through soft black hair as he moved to press his lips to the troll's temple. "Tired?"

"Mmm." Karkat hummed softly, letting his eyes slip shut for just a moment as he removed his hand from the pistol to slip around John's stomach and latch on to his hip. His legs were already pulled up, his feet tucked under his thighs as his knees pressed against John's leg.

"How about we head to bed?" He asked, his lips moving against Karkat's hair.

"It's kind of early."

"Yeah, well, you're usually just waking up around this time so it's no surprise that you're sleepy. Plus we had a long and kinda rough trip."

"You should stay and enjoy your time with them." Karkat mumbled as he slowly pushed away from John to meet those crystal blue eyes. "I'm fine on my own."

The hero smiled tenderly, the warmth in his eyes reminding Karkat why he agreed to be the human's moirail in the first place. "I'm pretty tired too."

"If you insist." Karkat murmured sleepily as he shifted to his feet. John moved along with him as Karkat stretched his back, his arms moving above his head as he did so.

"Heading to bed?" Rose asked softly.

"Yeah, we're pretty tired." John answered, his hand moving between Karkat's shoulder blades.

"Aw come on John!" Jade called from the kitchen. "It's not that late and we haven't even broke out the eggnog yet!"

"Yes, well, unlike _some_ people we couldn't just zap here in a few seconds. We had to actually _fly_." He pointed out with a playful smile as he led Karkat toward the stairs. "And that's pretty exhausting when you think about it. Not to mention the snow storm we ran into on our way. Plus, Karkat's not used to staying up all day. So! We are going to bed."

"Oh fine!" She stuck out her tongue, giving them a wave with a wooden spoon. "Night Karkat!"

"Night!" Jane, Roxy, and Jake called while the rest gave subtle waves. Rose and Kanaya bid them a goodnight with soft smiles.

"Night everyone. Oh. Wait." John paused, leaning down toward Karkat's pointed ear. "Go on up, I forgot something." The tired troll waved a hand at him and wasted no time in heading up the stairs. A warm bed called his name and he was happy to follow the sound. John watched him disappear up the stairs with a smile before he turned back to Rose. He quickly dipped down to her level, a smile on his face and his eyes bright. "Did you um do the thing?"

Rose laughed softly as she twisted in her seat to look up at the male. "Do the thing, John? You mean Karkat's present?"

"Yes, that thing." He bounced slightly on his heels as he watched her with bright eyes.

The smile on her face was light as she nodded. "I took care of it not long after you asked it of me. It was rather easy after I looked into it a bit more. Everything should be set up perfectly when you return home."

"Thanks so much, Rose." He leaned down to peck a kiss to her cheek. "You're the best."

"He'll be very happy, John."

"I really hope so." The smile on his lips was rather goofy but his happiness was contagious. "Goodnight."

"Oh, John." Kanaya was quickly on her feet as John moved back toward the stairs. He paused as the tall troll came around the couch to approach him. "May I speak with you for just a moment?"

"Uh," His heart thumped against his rib cage, "Sure."

"Lovely." She moved toward the corner beside the stairs and he followed her. The others were too preoccupied in what they were doing so they had a bit of privacy to speak. "I just wanted to take a moment to thank you."

"Thank me?" He sounded surprised as he tilted his head at her.

"Yes, well..." She glanced up the stairs. "I've known Karkat such a very long time. From the time we were both still grubs." She smiled fondly as she met his eyes, keeping her voice low. "I've seen his worst and his best and though it has been so long since we've seen each other, I see he has not changed all that much. And yet, he has." She inhaled, closing her eyes briefly before John was struck with emotion filled lime eyes. "In all the time I have known Karkat, I don't recall ever seeing him as happy as he is with you."

Blue eyes widened slightly and his body flushed with warmth. "Really?"

She nodded delicately. "Eridan was a good moirail but there were times when he was not. And Gamzee... Well, I'm sure you know enough about that. But with you, he seems truly happy."

"I... Well, I'm glad to hear you say that. Though, there's a lot about the Gamzee thing that I don't know. Karkat's been... really sensitive about it." He rubbed the back of his neck as he glanced to the floor.

"Oh, I'm sure he will tell you when he is ready."

John nodded, knowing she was right. "Could I ask you something, Kanaya?"

"Sure, John."

"What is a sweep?"

She blinked in surprise. "A sweep is the equivalent of a human year. Same meaning, just different words. You'll find that to be very common between trolls and humans."

"So... Karkat's been gone from Alternia for twenty years?"

"About that I believe."

"So... does that mean trolls age differently than us? How old was Karkat then?"

Kanaya blinked in surprise. "You're not aware?"

"He told me a little about the hemospectrum and the differences in a trolls life span based on their blood but that's about all he told me. I had no idea he was... well, that much older than me. Not until Sollux pointed out it had been twenty sweeps since they last saw each other."

"It is true a trolls life span depends on their blood but, Karkat is a bit different."

"Cause... he's not on the hemospectrum?"

She nodded, folding her hands against her lap. "Yes. But he has not aged since I last saw him, so it's safe to assume his life span is more than that of a rust-bloods. He could live as long as a high-blood; there's no real way to tell. But he was close to nineteen sweeps when he left; if that is of any help."

"He spent... such a long time alone." John mumbled softly, rubbing his arm as he glanced at her. "I knew when I met him that he didn't have much interaction with other people but... I didn't realize it had been so long."

"He chose that life, John."

"I know... To protect his friends. But it's just... that's so lonely." He chewed on his bottom lip as his heart clenched in sorrow for the troll he cared so deeply for.

"I imagine he was rather lonely." She spoke affectionately, her eyes glancing up the stairs. "But he is far from lonely now."

"I... I'm really glad I found him then."

"As am I. As is he." Kanaya nodded with a tender smile. "I expect you to take great care of him. I would warn you of what may happen if you do not but I have been assured something of that manner would never take place."

"I... I would never hurt him. He means a lot to me, Kanaya." He stood up straight, his face taking on a serious expression.

"I know, John." She laughed softly, reaching out to pat his shoulder gently. "I just hope you will remain patient with him. There's much he's been through that I am sure he has not revealed to you yet. I have faith you two will find happiness in each other far into the future."

"Ah, jeeze, Kanaya." He flushed faintly, shrugging a shoulder as he glanced away. "We're just moirails."

"Of course you are." She made a soft noise of amusement in the back of her throat before she bowed her head. "Well, I won't keep you any longer. Have a good night, John."

"Uh, yeah thanks. You too." He smiled as she moved back toward Rose. Purple eyes watched him and the smile on those black painted lips made his cheeks flush slightly. He nodded at Rose before he moved up the stairs, glancing back at his happy family before disappearing down the hallway. By the time he entered his old bedroom, Karkat was curled up on the bed on top of the blankets with his clothes still on. "Karkat?"

"Hm?" The troll lifted his head, eyeing John as he shut the door.

"How are you feeling?"

"Tired."

"I can see that." The hero chuckled softly as he moved over toward the bed. Karkat had lit the two lamps on either side of the bed and there was a small fire in the fireplace. The fire took off the chill from the cold wind outside but John couldn't wait to be under those covers, snuggled with his moirail. Though, he had a better idea. "But how about a bath?"

The troll sat up slowly, running a hand through his hair as he narrowed his eyes at the human. "A bath?"

"Yeah! Bowerstone has indoor plumping and everything. So we can take a nice hot bath without having to wait for the water to heat up. It's pretty convenient actually. It's something Rose and Jade helped create and they're working on spreading it through the country." He shrugged as he moved into the small bathroom on the other side of the room. "I just figure, you're probably cold after everything we did today and well, I don't want you getting sick again."

Karkat shifted to the edge of the bed till his boots hit the floor. "I suppose that's fine." Crimson eyes narrowed at the human and gave him a good once over. "We're doing this together?"

"Well, It's quicker that way. It'll be nice to be all clean for tomorrow plus warming up is nice too."

Karkat snorted softly as he stood up, lifting his arms above his head to stretch and let out a yawn. "That's really red, John."

"Bathing together?" He tilted his head, furrowing his brow. "We've done it plenty of times before, you know. Maybe not in a bathtub but still."

Karkat hummed before he let out a soft sigh and shrugged. "Yeah, true. Alright, let's do this then."

"Great!" John turned toward the large tub and sat on the edge of it to twist the knobs and run the water. Once it was set to a nice steaming temperature, he shifted to the small dresser near the sink to pull out some towels for the two of them.

Meanwhile, Karkat set to removing his clothes. He thought to pull out some clean clothes to change into but John's tunic was warm. He tugged off his boots, placing them beside the bed before he pulled off his socks as well. And then his pants followed. He folded them and stuffed them back into his bag along with the belt. He then removed the tunic and just laid it out on the bed, fulling intending to sleep in the thing. His grey skin chilled at the air in the room and he moved over to John, hugging himself as he looked at the strange water contraption.

"How does that even work?" He asked as John turned around of the dresser.

The hero had not expected to see his moirail stark naked in front of him when he turned around. He swallowed hard, forcing down a flush as he came toward the tub with the towels in his hands. "Something about pressure and natural resources. Jade told me once but I kind of spaced out."

Karkat leaned over the tub, dipping his claws into the steaming water. The heat sent a shiver over his skin and it felt absolutely wonderful. John smiled at him and after placing the towels on the stand near the tub, he moved to undress. He moved to the other side of the bed Karkat hadn't claimed and tugged off his boots. He tugged off his belt and dropped it to the floor along with his pistols. His pants soon followed, along with his socks and then his tunic. He tugged out a clean pair of sleep pants before stuffing his hero garb into the bag. He tossed the black pants on to the bed, noticing the tunic Karkat kept laid out and couldn't help the tender smile that came to his face.

"Shouldn't this thing stop?" Karkat's voice caught his attention and he quickly moved over to the troll, not ashamed to be naked in front of the other.

"Shit." He mumbled, quickly twisting off the knobs to stop the water. The tub was about half full and he hoped with both of them in it, the water wouldn't over flow. "It should be fine."

"You get in first." Karkat stated, flicking his hand at the large tub. "You're larger than I am."

"Uh, alright." John stepped into the tub, holding on to the side before he carefully moved to sit down. The steaming hot water felt amazing against his skin as he sat down and spread his legs to make room for Karkat. It was then he realized the position he'd gotten himself into. Especially when Karkat moved to step into the tub. He watched with flushed cheeks and a racing heart as the troll turned his back to him and elegantly settled between his spread legs. The water sloshed at his movement and as John rest his arms up on either side of the tub, Karkat leaned back against his chest. It was a familiar position for the two of them but well, they usually had their clothes on.

John was not oblivious to Karkat's body. He'd taken the time to admire it plenty of times before. The troll was built nicely and curved in certain ways a normal human body did not. His skin was soft, his rump was round and plump and well, John quite liked the troll's face. He was not oblivious the attraction he had for the troll's body but it usually wasn't thrust into his face. When they bathed together, they were never really touching. But this was different. Very different. He could see how it would be taken as a red thing to do. But Karkat had no complaints and John was worried if he mentioned it, it would ruin their little moment of peace.

"This was a good idea." The troll mumbled as he dipped his hands into the water. With both of them inside, the water now came close to the edge, enveloping both of them in steaming warm wetness. "I can feel it seeping into my bones."

"Good." John smiled softly and after a moment of consideration, he slipped his arms under the water and wrapped them around Karkat's waist. "So, Karkat, Can I ask you something?"

"Hm?" He hummed as he leaned his head back against John's shoulder.

"Can we talk about it?"

Crimson eyes focused on the ceiling at that question. His hands stopped flowing through the water and he shifted to rest them against his stomach. After a deep breath, Karkat began to speak. "For as long as I can remember, I was told to keep my blood a secret. Pretend to be a rust-blood so I could live a proper life. Kankri was always there to take care of me. Our parents, I don't really know what happened to them. But Kankri was there. And then Signless. It just became normal for me to accept my blood as something wrong and to keep it hidden at all costs. Hiding it gave me a normal troll life. It became harder as I grew up. Things happen and well, my blood isn't the only red thing about me."

"Your tears." John added softly, nuzzling his cheek against Karkat's.

The troll glanced at him from the corner of his eye. "Yes, that and..." His cheeks flushed as he quickly glanced back to the ceiling. "Either way, I kept it hidden. Having two high-blood moirails was a risk but I took it. Eridan was good to me. He had his moments, as all high-bloods do but he was still good to me. And then Gamzee... He needed me. I'd never felt so pale for someone in my life." He sighed softly, his chest constricting at the memory. "It wasn't... odd for him to lash out. His purple blood made things difficult for him; not to mention who his father was. So, when he lashed out to me, I was always prepared. _Always_. Except once. That was all it took. And it was in front of _all_ our friends. They were used to seeing him lash out but he... I wasn't prepared for his claws." Karkat's arms shifted and he grabbed his hand, pushing his thumb into his palm where a wound once had been. "The wound wasn't deep at all. Barely anything to even be concerned with but... It was too late. They all saw it. They all saw my bright red blood. And Gamzee... He lost it. And no one stopped him. He ranted and thrashed about and... I'm honestly surprised he didn't hurt me more." He shrugged one shoulder as he slipped his eyes shut. It still stung but it was not nearly as much as it once had been. "I don't remember much after that. I took what I could and I ran. Because if... If the drones got a single whiff of what I was... we would have all been culled. I moved to the edge of Alternia and made a life for myself there."

John closed his eyes as his arms tightened around Karkat's waist and he nuzzled into the troll's neck. "Fuck, Karkat."

"He was my moirail. The one person who was supposed to accept me over everyone else." His throat tightened as tears started to form in his closed eyes. He closed them tighter to try to stop the tears but one managed to slip out anyway. "I can't say I was shocked by his reaction but... Nevertheless, it was devastating."

"I wouldn't... I would never." John mumbled, pressing his lips against the troll's neck gently.

"I know. But, I guess now you know why I was so hesitant."

"It makes a lot of sense now... But what did Sollux mean? When he said Gamzee was waiting for you? He's locked up, right?"

Karkat sighed softly. "After I left, apparently Gamzee lost it. I was probably the only thing that kept him in line. Kept him from being a murderous asshole like his father. Without me, he turned into something that couldn't be controlled, unlike his father. So, I guess The Grand Highblood locked him up and Eridan and Captor think I'm the only one who can help him."

"It... sure sounds that way."

"Not going to happen."

John just nodded in agreement. He certainly had no desire to lose Karkat to someone who had hurt him so badly. "So, twenty sweeps hm? Makes you a lot older than me, huh?"

"Age isn't a thing to trolls typically." He released a deep breath and opened his eyes to glanced down at his hands in the water. "The problem with being a mutant is not knowing what to expect for a life-span. I haven't aged but that really means nothing."

"Wait. Does that mean you could drop dead anytime?" John asked, a sense of panic in his voice.

"Well, no. I would grow sickly and eventually die off. Unless someone put me out of my misery. I don't really know what to expect. Though, I've been suspicious of our lusus being a mutant as well and he seemed pretty damn old."

"Lusus is a parent right?"

"Its not uncommon for grubs to be abandoned in Alternia. So there are other trolls, usually older that take in abandoned grubs. I was just a grub when our parents abandoned us. Kankri took care of me, and I was very lucky for that." He sighed softly, the thought of his brother making his stomach twist. "I'd just molted into a young troll when he found us. Never gave a name. Just Signless. But he took care of us. Helped us with hiding our blood. Always made me think he was like Kankri and I."

"So you don't remember your parents?"

"Not at all. Kankri does, but he always refused to speak of them."

"What happened to Kankri after you left? Did you ask him to come with you?"

Karkat let out a soft sigh and shifted to move his hands over John's on his stomach. "I left without saying goodbye to Kankri. I was so... scared. I didn't know what else to do. But... Eridan told me Kankri disappeared not long after I did with Cronus; whose Eridan's older brother. As far as anyone knows, they're doing fine."

"Do you miss him?"

"I guess."

John smiled gingerly as he rest his chin on Karkat's shoulder. "You've had it rough huh?"

"I guess that's why I took pity on you." He lifted his hand out of the water and raised it in the air as he spread out his fingers. "You grew up without parents too."

Blue eyes watched as Karkat open and closed his fist, water dripping onto both of them. "I don't remember any of it though. Jade thinks something traumatizing must have happened to me and I've forced myself to forget or something. I don't really know but I just, I've kinda known for a while I was a little different from everyone else."

"You really don't remember how you survived seven years in the forest?" Karkat asked, crimson eyes glancing at him from the corner of his eye as he dropped his hand into the warm water once again.

"I honestly don't. I have moments where I feel a lot of familiar things and I guess they have something to do with my childhood but... Actually, it's happened a lot since I met you." He mumbled, nuzzling against the troll's hair.

"That's weird." Karkat felt his throat tighten and his chest compressed. He took a deep breath and shifted to grab John's hands around his waist. It wasn't the time nor the place. But soon. He would tell him soon. "Do you feel better now that I've told you these things?"

"I do. It helps me understand you a little better." His smile reached his eyes as he planted a kiss to a grey cheek. "And, I'm really happy you feel comfortable enough to tell me these things."

"I guess you deserve it after all you've put up with."

"I don't put up with you, Karkat. I enjoy you." He squeezed the trolls waist and pulled him a little closer.

"Yes, well, I'm tired."

"Right. We should get cleaned up and head to bed." John chuckled softly and pulled one arm away from Karkat to grab one of the vials from the small shelf beside the tub. He popped the cork top off and poured some of the cool liquid into his hand before set it back down. He then rubbed his hands together and started to rub the soap over Karkat's arms.

The troll just snorted, allowing the human to wash him. "You're really strange, you know that?"

"What'd I do now?" John asked as he brought his hands down over Karkat's waist under the water.

Karkat considered what Kanaya had mentioned to him and he shook his head with a tender smile on his lips. "Nothing. You're just strange in general."

"Yeah well you seem to like it." John shrugged, running his hands over Karkat's thighs till he couldn't read any more. The soap absorbed into the water making small white bubbles float to the top.

"I agreed to be your moirail, didn't I?" Karkat moved to sit up and then carefully turned around on his knees to face the human.

John blinked at him as the troll grabbed the vial from the shelf. He repeated as John has done then rubbed his soapy hands over the male's toned shoulders. With Karkat leaning over him, settled between his spread legs on his knees, John couldn't help but blush. It was a rather intimate moment and even he knew that. Especially with Karkat's warm hands running over his body.

"Um, Karkat?"

"Shut your mouthflap, Egbert." He mumbled, his ears and cheeks about as red as his eyes.

John swallowed hard against his racing heart but nodded. "Okay."

Once Karkat was satisfied he had cleaned John's body well enough, John shifted to his knees as well. He pulled the plug on the tub and started running the warm water once again. They took the time to wash the soap from their bodies before moving to their hair. John took his time in rubbing shampoo through Karkat's hair, avoiding his horns the best he could. When it was Karkat's turn to wash John's hair, the troll blushed to his ears through the whole ordeal because for some reason, John refused to look away from his eyes. Washed clean and warm, the two finally stepped out of the tub and wrapped warm fluffy towels around themselves.

"I do feel better after that." Karkat commented, wrapping the towel around his body and over his shoulders.

"You should tell stuff like that to me more often." John stated with a smile as he wrapped the towel around his waist.

"I meant the bath, but that's true too." Karkat shrugged, giving him a faint smile as he shuffled back toward the bed. "It's a little cold in here." He said as he moved to dry off.

"The wind is pretty restless outside. I think it's going to snow again." John stated as he came over to the fireplace to throw in another log. "Can't help but love a white Christmas."

"I don't understand this human holiday. What are you celebrating?" The troll asked as he ruffled the towel through his hair.

"Well, It started a long time ago. It was a celebration of a new year and the official end of the harvest. It's still that but it's become more of a warm holiday in a harsh winter. A time to get together with family and friends. A time to be thankful and giving." John told him as he moved to dry off as well.

"And the tree?"

"The tree represents the harvest and a start of something new. I love winter and well, Christmas is a really nice time of the year. The only time all of us heroes get together in one place."

"I'll have to admit, it is kinda nice." The troll mumbled with a shrug as he moved to hang his towel over the side of the tub. He returned to the bed and quickly pulled the green tunic over his head. It was still warm and soft and felt nice against his skin.

"You're wearing that to bed?" John asked, perking a brow as he moved to place his towel beside Karkat's on the tub.

"It's warm." Karkat grumbled as he pulled the tunic up to hide his mouth in.

"And you're not wearing anything underneath?"

"Why should I? We've slept naked together before." He didn't want to mention that he had been so sick and out of his mind at the time, so he just turned away from John to tug down the blankets. The tunic was long enough to cover everything though if he were to bend over just enough, he was sure to reveal a plump rump that John would have no issue seeing.

"What if you get too warm?"

"Then I'll take it off." He shrugged as he moved to his knees on the bed. He brushed off his bare feet and quickly slipped under the blankets. He snuffed out the lamp on his side of the bed before slipping into the cool cocoon of blankets. He curled on his side, his back to John who was now slipping his sleep pants on.

"Alright." The hero shrugged as he snuffed out the lamp on his side of the bed. The fireplace set the room in a nice glow as John brushed off his feet and slipped into the bed. He was quick to pull Karkat against his chest, an arm around his waist while the other bent for the troll to rest his head on. Claws trailed over his hand before Karkat linked their fingers together. John nuzzled into damp soft hair as he squeezed them just a bit closer.

Karkat crinkled his nose before he shifted to face John. The human accommodated, glancing down as those claws slipped over his cheek and pulled him down. Their lips brushed together and it made John's heart thump a just bit harder. The kiss was soft but the way John's hand tightened on Karkat's hip was anything but. The troll pushed a little closer, deepening the kiss only slightly as John bent the arm under the troll's head to dig fingers into damp dark hair. Karkat parted his lips, running his tongue over John's lower lip before he pulled away completely and pressed his face into the hero's collar-bone. John blinked, slightly dazed but relaxed.

"Goodnight, John." Karkat mumbled, one hand resting on John's hip while the other curled against his own chest.

"G-Goodnight, Karkat."

* * *

The one thing about winter that John wasn't too fond of, was how dark it always was. The sun rose later in morning and set so much sooner. There wasn't much daylight and the hero loved the sunlight. So when he awoke that morning, his nerves brimming with a hint of excitement. He wasn't entirely sure how early he woke, considering it was still dark outside. But he could hear clattering downstairs so he assumed it was late enough in the morning to wake but still too early for the sun to rise.

The hero rubbed a hand over his face, tightening his arm around the troll pressed to his side. Karkat was fast asleep, his head using John's shoulder as a pillow while his arm was thrown over the hero's bare stomach. He had also, at some point in the night, hiked one of his legs over John's and entangled them together. John smiled softly as he opened his eyes to glance down at the sleeping face of his moirail. It was rare to see the troll's face so relaxed and it brought a warmth to the human's heart.

For a few moments, John closed his eyes and allowed himself to just enjoy their position. Karkat was warm against his side and though it took him a moment to realize the troll had removed his tunic at some point in the night, the flush on his cheeks was a welcomed friend. John was no fool to his feelings. He knew exactly how he felt and why he felt that way. But he was in no position to do something about it. There were a lot of things running through his mind over it. So many questions and what ifs that he was just not yet willing to deal with. For now, he was content with his relationship with Karkat.

The pressure in his side made the hero finally pull himself away from the troll. He was careful as he pulled away from Karkat and got to his feet. The troll curled up as John pushed the blankets against him and wrapped his arms around the excess, snuggling into them. His nose crinkled for a moment but then his face evened out and he went back to a peaceful slumber. John smiled affectionately at him before heading off to empty his bladder. Once he was done with that, he debated for a moment on what to do. He thought letting Karkat sleep a while longer was a good idea so he tugged on his hero tunic, stuffed his bare feet into his boots and then headed downstairs.

Rose and Jade were already in the kitchen, talking softly among themselves as they prepared the big breakfast they had every Christmas morning. Rose was busy cutting up slices of bacon to cook while Jade stirred something in a large bowl. They didn't notice John till he was standing behind them with a faint smile on his lips. He came up behind Jade, resting his head atop her head as he peaked down to see what she was doing.

"Oh! John." Jade giggled gently as she nudged her elbow back into his side. "Good morning!"

"Morning." He planted a kiss to her cheek which earned another giggle before he slipped around her to plant one on Rose's cheek as well. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas!" Jade spoke excitedly but still kept her voice down for the others still asleep.

"Merry Christmas, John." Rose gave him a warm smile.

"Need help?"

"That would be lovely." She spoke as she turned back to slicing the bacon.

"Yeah, You can crack those eggs." Jade pointed her batter coated wooden spoon to the bowl full of eggs on the counter.

"Alright." He moved around the two of them to do as was asked of him. He pulled out another wooden bowl before getting to work on cracking the eggs for breakfast.

"So, How did you and Karkat sleep?" Jade asked, wiggling her hips slightly. "I take it he's still out?"

"Yeah, I figured I'd let him sleep more since this isn't normal for him at all."

"Rose and I were talking about how this moirail thing is a surprising turn of events." Jade glanced at him, using her shoulder to adjust her glasses slightly as she worked on stirring the batter in the bowl. "Does Dave even know what a moirail is? I wouldn't be surprised if he lost his shit over it."

"I don't believe he does." Rose answered softly, her eyes focused on her task.

"I'm not... It's not like that. Dave's still my best bro." John spoke softly, glancing at the two women as he cracked the eggs into the bowl.

"Considering how he reacted to Karkat to begin with, I can only imagine how he'll feel about this development. Not that I'm complaining at all!" Jade giggled softly. "I like Karkat. I like that he doesn't put up with Dave's shit."

"He's good for you." Rose nodded in agreement.

"I'm so glad you brought him! It's nice meeting him but it's even better seeing you two together. I think we finally get what you've been talking about. How he fills that hole you've always had. It's actually pretty obvious."

John's cheeks flushed darkly as he stared down at the eggs in the bowl. "Is it that obvious?"

"You tend to show how happy you are no matter what, John." Rose stated. "That is not a problem in any way. Especially when we are able to see you make him just as happy."

Jade snorted softly. "You say it like they're a couple."

"By troll standards they are."

A dark eyebrow popped up. "But they don't like, do things right?" Jade turned her curious gaze on John. "You guys don't do things right?"

"You might to define 'things', Jade." Purple eyes followed her gaze to a very red hero.

"Oh you know what I mean, John." Even Jade's tanned cheeks flushed lightly. "You mentioned that you guys kissed and stuff. Now that you're moirails, doesn't that mean you do even more stuff?"

"N-No!" He replied quickly, his ears flushing red as he looked away from curious green and purple eyes. "I-It's not like that at all!" He mumbled, cracking another egg with a bit more force than necessary. "I mean, it does get a little blurry at times but nothing like that."

"Blurry?" Jade paused in stirring the batter and placed the bowl back down along with the spoon still sticking out. "What does that mean?"

"We just..." John let out a soft sigh as he shrugged. "I think even Karkat is aware that some of the things we do are not pale at all but he goes along with it as long as I don't point it out. He's... been a lot more open since we became moirails."

Rose hummed as she paused in slicing meat to turn toward the tall hero. "How do you continue to get yourself in these situations?"

"Yeah, like, if you care for him a lot more than in a pale way, you need to tell him, John."

"I don't think I can. Not yet anyway." He bit his lip as he quickly glanced away from those intense knowing soft glares. "But I will, Okay. I will. Soon."

"We just don't want to see you get hurt." Jade shifted to his side and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"I don't see that ever happening. Even if Karkat and I remained exactly how we are... I think I'd be so happy for the rest of my life." He smiled fondly at her, lifting a hand to place over hers on his shoulder.

"That's corny as fuck, Egbert." The deep monotone voice made the three other heroes turn around. Dave stood near the beautifully decorated tree with his hands shoved into black pants.

"It's called love, doucheface." Jade snapped softly, releasing John to turn toward the blonde male. "Something you know absolutely nothing about."

He just shrugged, shifting to approach them and stand beside John. "Not my problem."

"It actually would not be a horrible idea for you to take lessons from Karkat on the manner of romancing a human." Rose spoke softly, returning to slicing the bacon.

"Yeah!" Jade huffed softly and returned to stirring the batter with a bit more force than she needed to.

"Damn." Dave scoffed slightly as he slipped an arm around John's shoulders. "I think the girl's are mad at me."

"Don't look at me." A playful smile rested on his lips as he glanced at his best bro.

"Whatever. So, what's this deal with Karkles, huh?"

"What deal?"

Dave shifted to grab an egg and help John crack them into another bowl. "Moirails or whatever-the-fuck."

"Oh, yeah, it's a thing."

"I know it's a thing, dude. I want to know what said thing _means._ "

"Um, that we're really close?"

"Yeah but are you banging the troll now cause if so, you gotta tell me what that's about cause I've heard some interesting shit from Rose about troll junk."

"Dave!" Jade gasped, her tanned cheeks almost as red as John's. Rose's cheeks were just a hint of pink but there was a smile curled to her elegant lips.

"What?" His voice remained monotone. "Don't say you're not curious either, Harley. You've got enough kinks to fill a fucking barrel."

"I really did not need to know that." John stated as he swallowed and shook his head, rubbing a hand over his face.

"Okay just because I'm curious what a trolls anatomy is does not make me a pervert like you!"

"I didn't say I wanted to bone him."

"Can we please not talk about anyone boning anyone?" John whined softly, hiding his face in his hands.

"Well, that answers your question, Dave." Rose spoke softly.

"Still flushing like a virgin there, Egbert." The blonde hero clapped his hand on the male's back with a faint smirk on his lips. "Shame, I thought you'd two remedy that shit pretty quickly. What with the way he looks at you and everything."

"Do we _have_ to talk about this? It's Christmas." The wind hero sighed heavily as his hands dropped to his sides and he glanced at his fellow heroes.

"John is right. This should wait till a different time." Rose spoke.

"Or never! Never is really good!" He added quickly, rubbing the back of his hand against his flushed cheek as he stared down at the eggs. "Let's just, you know, talk about something else. We always talk about Karkat when we're all together."

"Cause it's pretty fascinating, John." The blonde female hero spoke softly as she continued her work.

"It really is." Jade nodded in agreement. "I mean, you've found someone really important to you. It's kind of a big deal."

"I'm with John on this." Dave shrugged one shoulder as he glanced up at the blushing hero through his shades. "Let's talk about anything but that fucking asshole."

"He's only an asshole cause you're an asshole." John pointed out.

"Well, I like him!" Jade cut in, green eyes snapping to the blonde male hero. "He doesn't take your shit or your jealousy. Not that there's anything to be jealous _of_. _"_

"Jealous? You're spouting shit over there, Harley."

"Right, so you're not jealous that they're practically best bros now?"

"I'm right here, you know." John grumbled under his breath, smashing the empty egg-shell in his hands.

"They ain't best bros." Dave nudged his shoulder against John's. "Can't be best bros with someone you wanna bang."

"You weren't saying that a year ago." Rose pointed out, a faint smile curling to her lips as she lifted the knife in her hands to inspect it.

"Ya'll talking shit." Dave muttered quickly, the apples of his pale cheeks flushing ever so slightly.

John sighed softly. "That was a year ago and we worked that out, didn't we?"

"We sure did." He nodded in agreement as he turned his attention back to helping John crack open eggs.

"So," Jade ventured softly, "You're not upset that they're moirails?" She seemed genuinely concerned that he would be.

"Nah." Dave bumped his shoulder into John's once again and the raven haired hero returned the bump with a soft smile on his lips. "If we're gonna talk about something, how about we talk about the fact that Lalonde kept a troll hidden right under our noses."

"Oh yeah!" Jade turned her attention to the lovely blonde.

"As I told the three of you already," Rose shifted toward the sink so she could wash the knife in her hand. "You never bothered to ask and anytime you were in town, Kanaya was unavailable. She's a busy woman after all."

"You don't just ask if someone is a troll, Rose. Heck, we didn't know they were still around till John found Karkat." Jade pouted, crossing her arms over her chest as she propped a hip against the counter to face the blonde.

"It was not information she wished to disclose."

"How did you two meet, then?" John asked, glancing over at her.

"Simple enough. At the bookstore here. We happened to pick up the same book and had a lovely conversation. It grew from there."

John chewed on his lower lip before he spoke. "It's my understanding that a troll would get culled if discovered in Albion. So, why is she here?"

"She was looking for him." Rose's softly spoken words made everyone look at John while he just stared at the blonde. "She knows him quite well. Though, by the time I met her, she had given up on finding him. It was rather hard for me to keep it a secret. But her reaction was completely worth it."

John nodded in agreement, thinking of the way Karkat's face has seized up with tears when he saw the tall troll. He'd realized why Karkat might have had a height issue. Kanaya and Eridan were taller than John and both Sollux and Eridan were taller than Karkat. Though all of them were taller than the average Albion citizen. "They're going to war." He mumbled softly, turning his attention back to the eggs that were almost done.

"I am aware." Rose nodded as Jade and Dave looked at them in slight surprise.

"War? With who?" Jade asked, glancing at John.

"Themselves. An uprising to take down their current king."

"They're going to take down a kind by themselves?" Dave questioned.

"There are about twenty of them, so said Eridan." John bit his lower lip as he cracked the last egg into the almost full bowl. He tossed the shell into the basket with the rest of the broken shells.

"Twenty. Taking on a king?" Jade gasped, her eyes widening. "Isn't that... suicide? Why? Why would they?"

"Because their home has become a place they would not like to continue living in. They are ruled by a tyrant." Rose sighed faintly as she washed her hands. "They have the true heir to the throne and they fully intend to put her where she belongs."

"I'm going to help them."

"What?" Jade snapped to him, her green eyes wide and full of a strange emotion.

"You nuts, dude?" Dave furrowed his brow as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"If it means Karkat can return home safely... If it means he won't be afraid of his own kind anymore than... I want to help. It's not like I'm just some normal person. I'm a hero. And we were all brought here for a reason. Maybe this was it, you know? Maybe I'm supposed to help the trolls gain control of their country again."

"Rose?" Jade turned to the blonde who was drying her hands on a small towel, her expression unreadable. "Do you agree with this?"She asked, as if the entire thing was absurd.

"He's a grown man. He'll be at full age soon. He can do what he wants."

Jade's face fell. "You're helping too."

The blonde nodded, noticing the way Dave's lips curled into a frown. "As John said, we were put here for a reason. This may or may not be it, but until that reason does come along, this is something we are capable of doing."

They were all silent for a few minutes. The tension spread out as Jade glanced between John and Rose as if they were a little crazy. Finally, Dave let out a heavy sigh and threw an arm around John's shoulders. "Damnit, Egbert, you always get me into this kinda shit."

"What?" He asked surprised, perking a brow as he glanced to his best bro.

"What. You think I'm going to let you charge into a bunch of batshit crazy trolls _alone?_ I'm going with you."

"I won't be alone. There's Karkat and Eridan and- Wait." John's blue eyes widened as he stared at the blonde. "You're going with me?"

A faint smirk curled to those thin lips. "We're heroes for a reason after all."

John's heart swelled with warmth and he had the urge to hug his fellow hero. But his hands were a little gross from cracking eggs so he just leaned forward to bump his head against Dave's cheek. "Yeah we are."

"Ugh! You guys are crazy." Jade threw her hands up in defeat. "And apparently I'm just as crazy since I'm going too."

"You do not have to, Jade." Rose spoke softly.

"Like I'm going to let the three of you have all the fun." A smile curled to her lips as she clapped her hands together. "It's settled." The other three heroes nodded in acknowledgment.

* * *

Almost an hour later, John headed back upstairs to wake Karkat. Breakfast was almost ready, the scent of bacon wafting upstairs to wake any other sleepy heads. Roxy and Jane has joined them to help prepare the small feast and so John felt alright leaving everyone behind to find his moirail. The fire was still going in the fireplace when John entered the bedroom. The sun rose not long before and peaked through the curtains, casting light over the lump under the covers.

John smiled fondly as he came around the side of the bed. Black hair and nubby horns could be seen poking out from under the covers but the rest of the troll was hidden. The hero debated waking the troll as he shifted to sit on the edge of the bed. With little effort, he tugged down the blanket over the troll's head to meet bright crimson eyes staring back at him. He blinked in slight surprise but smiled.

"Good morning, Karkat."

The troll groaned, closing his eyes once again as he nuzzled into the pillow. "This human sleep schedule sucks."

"Aw, I'm sorry Karkat." He reached forward to bury his fingers in messy black hair. "We can return to your schedule when we leave tomorrow, okay?" The troll just grunted and leaned his head into John's touch. "Breakfast is almost ready. It's a tradition for us to all eat breakfast in our pj's and exchange gifts."

Slowly, the troll shifted to sit up as John pulled his hand away. Karkat ran claws through his messy hair, wincing when they caught on a knot. "I'm up, I'm up."

The hero grinned as he leaned toward the other, catching the troll off guard when their faces were near inches apart. Crimson stared into blue and for a moment they just gazed at one another. Then John tilted his head, glanced down to those lips and then pressed them together. Surprised, but not objecting, Karkat returned the tender kiss, his heart rate picking up and his skin flushing with warmth. "Merry Christmas, Karkat." The hero mumbled once he pulled away.

Karkat swallowed, licking his lower lip. "Merry Christmas."

John grinned and pulled away from the troll to get to his feet. "It snowed so much over night. Oh, and you need to see the tree. Roxy did an amazing job on it."

Karkat nodded as he slipped to the edge of the bed. He glanced around for the tunic he had pulled off at some point in the night to find it balled up at the end of the bed. He snatched it up and quickly pulled it over his head, ignoring the way it made his hair stick up in different directions. He was reaching for his pants when John spoke up again.

"Oh! I have comfy pants for you." He moved around to his side of the bed to pick up his bag. He dug through it for a moment with wine eyes watching him before he found what he was looking for. He handed Karkat a pair of black sleep pants similar to the one's John currently wore. "We're just going to be lounging around for most of the morning so these should be more comfortable then your other pants."

The troll just shrugged as he took the pants and tugged them on before getting to his feet to pull them all the way up. They were a bit loose around the waist but his hips kept them in place. He tugged on his boots over the pant legs, tucking them inside before he set to work combing claws through his messy hair. John chuckled as he came around the bed and dipped his fingers into that messy hair. Karkat let his hands fall to his sides as John set to work taming his hair somewhat.

"I was thinking, I could give you one of your gifts before we went downstairs." John mumbled with a tender smile on his lips as he focused on Karkat's hair.

The troll's brow and nose crinkled as he glanced up into vibrant eyes. "One of?"

"Oh, well, yeah." He chuckled softly, brushing over soft hair before he pulled his hands away, satisfied that the troll's hair was remotely tamed. "Actually, this is from me and Adairis. And I guess Asher too."

Karkat's eyes brightened. "Oh really?"

"Mhm!" John slipped around the side of the bed to grab his bag once more. He dug around in it until he found what he needed. He pushed clothes and other things aside before pulling out a rather large square shaped thing that was wrapped in colorful paper. He pulled out another smaller wrapped rectangle before dropping his bag to the bed. When he looked up again, Karkat was sitting at the end of the bed with a small long box in his lap. John blinked in surprise as he moved to sit beside Karkat, the presents in his hands. "You got me something?"

"It seemed appropriate." The troll shrugged. "I didn't have much time but I hope you like it."

John chewed on his lower lip, his heart thumping against his ribs. "That's really sweet, Karkat."

"It's nothing really." He shrugged as he handed over the plain box to the human.

John took it, finding it to be a lot heavier than he expected before placing it on the bed at his side. "Okay but you first." His lips curled into a smirk as he handed over the large wrapped square.

Karkat took it carefully, wincing at the weight as he pulled it into his lap. "Fuck it's heavy." He eyed the thing that was larger than his lap before digging his claws into the wrapping.

"Adairis helped me find it. It's actually something we've been searching for, for quite a long time." John bounced slightly at Karkat's side, his eyes bright and full of excitement.

Karkat snorted as he tugged off the paper. A hard leather book was revealed under the paper and it made Karkat pause. He pulled off the rest of the paper and lifted the tomb to stand upright so he could get a good look at it. The book was the thickest he had ever seen and was made beautifully. The leather was old and a bit worn but the book held together perfectly. Etched into the leather cover was a large heart with multiple Alternian symbols.

"I wanted to get you something I thought you wouldn't have read before and Adairis had said he knew of a large book he'd seen once in the Reliquary but he couldn't remember where. So we searched for a while for it, back when I was on that adventure with Dave. He found it then. Adairis told me it's a bunch of romance stories in Alternian." John explained, dipping his head down to try and gauge Karkat's expression.

To his credit, Karkat didn't actually cry even though he felt like it. It was a thoughtful gift and as he ran his claw tips over the etched heart he couldn't help the swirling of warmth that filled his chest. The symbols were so familiar that they gave him a sense of nostalgia he had not felt in a long time. He took a deep shaky breath and set the book to his side gingerly.

"Karkat?" John inquired, his eyebrows perked and his eyes full of worry.

The troll didn't answer as he grasped John's face between his hands and pulled the human down till their lips met. John's lips were soft, slightly chapped and warm as Karkat pressed against them, his body moving closer to the human. His heart flushed with red and it made his head spin. Pity was one thing, this was something completely different. John pressed back against Karkat's lips as he slipped one hand to rest against the small of the troll's back. They leaned into one another, lips pulling apart only to adjust and dive right back in. John's heart pounded and his skin flushed. This was different and he was highly aware of that fact. When Karkat finally pulled away, his cheeks, nose and ears were flushed. Fangs bit into his lower lip before he quickly glanced away and snatched up the heavy tomb to hug it to his chest.

"I, um," John cleared his throat, his face flushed just as much as Karkat. "I take it you like it?"

"Yes, very much so. Thank you, John."

John beamed as he leaned forward to press a kiss to soft raven hair. "I'm glad you like it. There's this too." He handed the troll the much smaller wrapped rectangle.

Karkat eyed it as he placed the tomb on the bed before grasping the present. He glanced up at sparkling blue eyes before the tore off the paper. The leather-bound journal was a bit of a surprise. It was simple but thick with blank pages ready to written on.

"You said a while ago that you wouldn't mind writing your own stories so, I figured this was a good place to start."

The troll had an issue differentiating the red and pale feelings swirling in his chest. He clutched the journal to his chest with sharp claws as he leaned up to press a kiss to John's jaw line. "Thank you."

"You're most welcome." John chuckled, rubbing his hand up the troll's back to grip his shoulder and give him a squeeze. He was glad he made the decision to give Karkat his gifts alone. He was sure the troll wouldn't respond in such an affectionate manner if the other heroes were around.

After a moment, Karkat pulled away and motioned to the box he'd brought for John. "You're turn then."

"Oh! Right." The hero grinned as he picked up the box and brought it into his lap. It was a long box and he glanced up into warm crimson eyes before he tugged off the lid. Nestled in a leather holster sat a strangely shaped dagger. As John lifted the dagger into his hands gingerly he could see strange symbols etched into it. He couldn't tell what the white dagger was made of but the blade was sharp and jagged while the handle was smooth and shaped for a good grip. Whatever it was made of was heavy and warm to the touch. The symbols etched into the white handle made the hero narrow his eyes and look closer. They were familiar, so familiar in fact that they made his heart thump. He had no idea what they meant but at the same time he did. They were protection symbols and they were also Alternian.

"I thought maybe getting you a weapon would be best. You don't really require much and I know you'd be happy if I just freaking hugged you." Karkat mumbled, wine eyes glancing between John's face and the dagger in his hands. "I know you don't really _need_ it but I couldn't think of anything else. It's made from the ligment bone of a barrelbeast. The strongest material in all of Alternia. My sickles are made of the same thing. I carved it; handle and all. The symbols are for protection, not that you need it. But it's sort of a tradition to add symbols to a weapon for protection and luck."

"You _made_ this?" John gasped in astonishment, his eyes wide as he glanced at the troll.

"Well, yeah."

The hero's chest flushed with warmth that spread through to every available point in his body. He swallowed hard, clutching the dagger in his slightly shaking hand. "Wow, Karkat... that's just... wow."

"You're a long-range fighter, so I doubt you'll ever actually need it but..." He trailed off with a shrug.

"No, it's amazing. Really Karkat, it's amazing." He spoke in awe before he quickly moved to grab his belt from the floor. He pulled it into his lap; pistols and all, before attacking the dagger beside one of the pistols. It fit perfectly and the sight made John happier than he could express. He shifted, wrapping both arms around the troll to pull him into a tight hug. "This was the best gift you could have given me. Now I'll have you with me all the time." He mumbled into soft hair as Karkat brought one arm to wrap around the hero's waist. "When I'm fighting, I'll have you with me, protecting me." He giggled softly, nuzzling into silky hair.

Karkat inhaled deeply, pushing down the strange feelings swirling in his chest as he nuzzled into the human's neck. "I'm glad you like it."

"I love it." John stated as he pulled away to meet warm crimson eyes with a bright smile. The troll nodded, licking his lips just as the hero dipped down to press their lips together. The kiss was delicate; John brushing his lips over Karkat's just enough to leave the placed they touched tingling. He pulled away with a bright smile, brushing a thumb over a round flushed cheek. Oh he had it hard and he knew it.

A knock on the door startled both of them though they didn't pull away from one another just yet. John grumbled softly before planting another kiss to plump lips before moving to his feet. Wine eyes followed him to the door as he opened it. Jake stood on the other side, a grin on his lips and his hands on his hips.

"Good morning! And merry Christmas! I've been sent to 'drag' you two downstairs for breakfast."

John laughed softly. "Merry Christmas to you too. We'll be down in a minute."

Jake nodded, giving John a two-fingered salute. "Wonderful." And then he turned to disappear down the hallway.

Karkat was on his feet by the time John turned back to him. "Ready?" The troll nodded and the two of them headed downstairs to join the others.

* * *

Breakfast was an ordeal that left Karkat a little breathless. The heroes took their time in exchanging gifts and for a while, he wasn't sure if Dave was glaring at him behind his tinted goggles or just staring at him. Either way, he was sure the blonde was watching him and he was unsure how he felt about that. The food was delicious and it was the first time in a while that Karkat actually felt apart of something. Kanaya joined them for breakfast as well and the small troll couldn't help but feel happy about that. Even though he wasn't a hero, the others made him feel as if he belonged and he couldn't help but wonder if he did belong with them. John changed his life in a way that could not be compared. For a long time, Karkat thought he would be alone for the rest of his life; however long that may be. But then the annoying flying hero came into his life and turned it upside down. Karkat... He knew he had to tell John the truth. He had to tell the hero what he knew and about his past, but the troll wanted to wait until the right moment. He wasn't sure how their relationship would change and that caused him a strange sense of fear and dread.

After breakfast, they changed into warm suitable clothing and headed out for Millfields. Karkat was not sure what "ice skating" was but he could figure it out from the words. It was another tradition that he saw no reason not to go along with. John seemed rather excited about the whole thing and that made Karkat not want to disappoint him. The trip to Millfields didn't take long considering the place was just outside of Bowerstone.

Millfields was a large community with large houses and people of a higher class. The houses sat along the edge of a large frozen lake. There was a mansion on the opposite side of the lake that could only be reached by crossing said lake but it appeared to be empty. The snow-covered everything but part of the large lake had been brushed off so people could skate on it. There was a decent amount of people running around in the snow and skating along the surface of the frozen lake. Children ran about in the snow with their parents keeping a close eye while couples enjoyed their time on the lake, or snuggled up in the snow.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" John's voice was low against Karkat's covered ear.

The troll perked a brow and glanced at the human. "It's nice."

"You've never been skating before so I'll teach you, okay?"

"Alright."

"It's not-Ack!" The human stumbled when a large ball of snow smacked him in the back of the head. He quickly spun around to see Dave standing a few feet away with a smirk on his face. "Oh! It's so on Dave!" The hero was quickly in the air and flew after the red clad hero.

"They're gonna be a while." Jade spoke up beside Karkat and with a fond smile, she slipped her arm between his, capturing him. " _I_ ' _ll_ teach you how to skate." She stated as she started to pull him toward the lake.

"Actually, if it's all the same to you, I'd rather not."

"It's just ice, Karkat. It's thick enough, so don't worry." She flashed him a smile that made him swallow hard. "Come on."

By the time they reached the edge of the lake, Rose and Kanaya were already on the ice along with Roxy and Jane. Jade helped Karkat attach the strange blades to the bottom of his boots and once he stood up, they didn't seem to bother him too much. He felt a little wobbly but they were not too hard to walk in. Jade giggled as she grabbed his hands and pulled him toward the ice.

"Now, the trick is, keep your legs bent and close together. Use your torso for balance and once you get the hang of it, it's pretty easy." She demonstrated by stepped out on to the ice. She wobbled for a few seconds before she found her balance and pushed off to slide over the ice. "See! Easy." She grinned as she came back around to him, holding her hand out for him. "Come on."

The troll eyed the ice before letting out a faint grumble. Carefully, he planted one foot on to the ice. It slipped a bit but caught on the ice and stayed put. After another moment of consideration, Karkat lifted his other foot and moved forward on to the ice. He was steady for a moment, holding his hands out at his sides to maintain balance.

"There you go! Now, push forward with one foot. Push it behind you and use that to push you forward."

Crimson eyes looked her over before he did as was told. But his foot slipped and he lost his balance, landing rather hard on his rump. He groaned, wincing at the cold ice seeping into his clothes.

"Oops." Jade giggled and moved forward, reaching both hands down to him. "It's something to get used to. Here, hold on to me."

"I'm not holing on to you like a wriggler."

Jade snorted softly. "Okay then you can keep falling on your butt and embarrassing yourself in front of John."

His cheeks flushed as he narrowed his eyes up at her. "That's low, Harley."

"Yes, well, I'm just trying to help and you're being a grumpy puss." She shook her hands at him.

"Ugh. Fine." He slipped his clawed fingers into hers and using the momentum of their weight, she pulled till Karkat was standing once again. Only, she pulled a little too hard and they both flopped back,;Karkat managing to pin her to the ice. "Fuck."

Jade laughed wholeheartedly, patting a hand over Karkat's back as the troll moved to his knees, straddling one of her legs. "That was my fault." She giggled sitting up as she adjusted the hat covering her fluffy hair. "One more try!" Crimson eyes rolled but a faint smirk rested on his lips as she got to her feet. Once she was stable, he took her hands and allowed her to pull him to his feet. She kept hold of his hands as he tried to steady himself. "There you go. See, it's not that bad."

The troll snorted softly. "Pretty sure my ass is going to be bruised tomorrow."

Jade shrugged, a smile tugging at her lips. "Well does that mean you're going to keep hold of me then?"

"I don't have a choice."

"Damn right you don't." She snorted softly, gripping his hands a little tighter as she moved backwards. A flash of concern crossed Karkat's face as he was pulled forward. "Just move your feet like I told you to."

"The fuck is it with you heroes. Why do you have such issues keeping your feet firmly planted on the ground where they belong?" He grumbled as he moved his feet as she instructed.

"Because that's _boring_ , Karkat." She teased, pulling him along as they moved over the ice slowly. He managed to keep his footing, finding the rhythm of moving his feet to be a little easier to understand.

"Forty something sweeps of keeping my feet planted on the ground and look at me now. The fuck is my pathetic existence coming to."

"Aw, flying with John is fun. It's been a while since he's taken me but it was always a lot fun." She smiled fondly, giving his hands another squeeze.

"Fun is not the word I would choose to use."

Jade laughed softly. "You're funny, Karkat. Will you visit us more now? Since you came here already? It'd be pretty great to see you again."

Karkat met those lively green eyes and that soft smile that made his cheeks flush slightly. "Yeah, I guess."

"Great!"

By the time John finally managed to stuff Dave's face in the snow and return to his moirail, he was surprised to see the troll skating along with Jade. She still had hold of one of his hands but the troll was managing to stay upright just fine on his own. The hero swooped down beside them, a smile on his face as he flew beside them.

"You two look like you're having fun." John stated with a smile.

"He's a fast learner." Jade pointed out as she raised their intertwined hands toward John. "Join us?"

"Let me get my skates on." He dipped down, planting a kiss to his moirail's surprised lips before flying off to the edge of lake where Dave was already busy putting his blades on.

"Oh." Jade giggled softly at Karkat's flushed red face. "Does he do that often? Is that a moirail thing?"

"Uh, yeah, I guess." He swallowed hard, glancing over to where John was. Dave was watching the two of them and by the way he was standing, Karkat could see the hero was pissed off. It only took him a few seconds to figure out why. A smirk curled to his lips as he turned back to Jade and squeezed her hand in his. "Dave's jealous."

The brunette blinked, glancing around Karkat at Dave for only a second before meeting playful crimson. "You wanna fuck with him?"

Karkat sorted softly. "You enjoy pissing him off, don't you?"

"I enjoy getting a reaction out of him cause he's so damn stoic all the time." She shifted to slide in front of the troll and pressed close as she slipped an arm around his shoulders. "Always going on about this girl and that girl. He really does need some lessons in romance."

"He seems insecure to me." The troll shrugged, slipping an arm around her waist as the girl pushed against the ice so they could move forward. Karkat stumbled slightly, not used to moving backwards but Jade's arm around his shoulder's kept him in place.

"He's not that bad of guy when he's just being himself and not who he thinks people want him to be." Her tanned cheeks flushed slightly. "He can actually be pretty sweet."

"Yo, Harley." Dave's voice called and the two glanced over to see the hero moved toward them elegantly.

Jade hid her smile as she pulled away from Karkat, digging her heels into the ice so they would stop moving. She kept a hand on his shoulder and their fingers intertwined. "What do you want?"

"You hitting on Egbert's troll?" He questioned, coming to a stop beside them with a blonde eyebrow perked.

"I would never. Just teaching him how to skate."

"That's Egbert's job."

"Well he was busy being stupid with you." She shrugged, moving a bit closer to the troll. It took all Karkat had not to burst out laughing at the way the blonde tensed. He was so obvious and it made Karkat want to poke at him about it. But Jade was doing enough of a job of that and he wanted to let her savor it. He was a bit fond of the female already. She was easy to become friends with.

"Uh." John came up beside the other three, coming to a stop near Karkat. "Can I have my moirail back now?" He held his hand out for the troll, glancing between Jade and Dave.

"Oh, of course." Jade smiled sweetly, releasing Karkat's hand so the troll could grab John's outstretched hand. "Have fun guys!" And then she twirled away from them to skate over the ice.

John perked a brow as he grabbed Karkat's hand, moving up beside the troll. Dave glanced at the two of them before pushing off the ice to follow Jade. "That was... odd." The hero mumbled softly, watching as Dave caught up to Jade and grabbed the woman's arm to pull her close so they could speak quietly.

Karkat shrugged and twisted around to press against John's chest. "She enjoys fucking with him."

"Yeah? So you guys were just fucking with Dave?" He mumbled, slipping an arm around the troll's waist to keep him close.

"Yeah. What did you think we were doing?"

"Uh. Nothing." John's cheeks flushed as he pushed against the ice and moved them, pulling Karkat with him backwards.

"Uh huh. You're my moirail, John."

"I know that." He leaned close to nuzzle against the troll's cheek. "You looked kinda happy though."

"I'll admit, I'm a bit fond of Jade. But any chance I can get to slip under Dave's skin, I'll take."

John chuckled softly, his face lighting up as they moved over the ice. "I probably should be concerned with that, but I'm not. Cause he kinda deserves it."

"It's not black, John." He stated with a blank face, crimson eyes glancing up at him.

"I know." He smiled and pressed their cold noses together, his eyes bright. "You ready to skate with me?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Course you do." John pulled back, putting distance between them before he lifted into the air.

Crimson eyes narrowed. "I thought we were gonna skate."

"Mmm." John pulled Karkat's hands up and before the troll could object he was pulled into the air. "Flying with you is more fun."

"Damnit." He hissed, quickly pushing himself against John's chest, claws clinging to his shoulders. "Warn me next time."

"But I like the look on your face when you're first lifted into the air." The hero mumbled softly, pulling the troll close till their lips could brush together. With flushed cheeks, Karkat just rolled his eyes and pushed away from John till he was floating in the air on his own, his arms crossed over his chest. "Aw, Karkat." John reached for the troll and was surprised when cool hands grasped his cheeks and pulled him close for a warm hard kiss. Then the troll was gone, resting against the wind surrounding him that refused to put him back on his feet. John just smiled, his eyes bright as he lunged forward to gather the troll in a hug. Neither noticed the worried eyes watching them.

* * *

Though the snow was cold, Karkat found it was bearable when he sat atop one of the many blankets the heroes had brought with them. He sat with his knees pulled to his chest, his arms wrapped around them and his chin resting atop them as he watched John run around in the snow with a few children. The hero was great with kids; Karkat knew that, but ti was different seeing him with children that were not Casey. The hero wore a bright open smile that made Karkat's heart swell in fondness.

"May I join you?" Rose's soft voice reached the troll's ears as she bent down beside him. Her normal dress had been switched out for warm pants, much like Jade's had been.

"Sure."

Elegantly, the woman sat down on the blanket beside the troll, bending her legs and tucking the to the side as her hands rest in her lap. "I am glad you came to join us."

Karkat nodded, glancing at the woman before letting his eyes follow John once more. "It was important to him. So I came."

"I was glad to reunite Kanaya with you."

"Yeah... I appreciate that." He glanced at warm purple eyes with a faint smile on his lips. "So thanks."

"You are most welcome." She nodded before drifting her eyes to follow John as well. They sat in silence though there was plenty of sound around them. Between the wind and the laughing children, the lake-side was filled with life and warmth. "You two are a lot closer than I imagined." Rose finally spoke again after a few moments.

Karkat perked a dark brow and glanced at her from the corner of his eye. "What does that mean?"

"Allow me to ask you something." Her eyes shifted back to John. "Have you stopped to consider what kissing you may mean to him?"

For a moment, Karkat only stared at her and then his eyes narrowed and his lips pulled over his fangs. "For the simple fact that John respects you so much, I will try to be nice about this." He hissed through clenched teeth. "John knows what we are. If anything we do means something different to him, that is his problem to deal with. As his moirail, he is supposed to talk to me about those things but that does not mean he has to. If he has a problem with the way I treat him, he will tell me. Besides, he started the kissing. And kissing is not that uncommon among moirails." His ears flushed and he was glad they were hidden under the green hat he wore.

"I am aware." She nodded, keeping her voice even as she watched John. "But humans are different from trolls. We do not kiss those who do not mean something to us in a romantic way."

"I'm aware of that."

Rose's voice was gentle as she continued. "I do not wish to trouble you in any matter, Karkat. John just means a lot to us and I'd rather not see him end up hurt."

"You think I'm going to hurt him?" He snapped, a snarl coming to his lips as he turned to look at her.

"I think," She turned to meet his eyes with swirling purple, "you do not understand yourself and thus in the end, will hurt him accidentally."

"I'm not going to hurt him." Karkat stated, shifting to his feet. "That is the last thing I would ever do." He hissed down at her before he left to join his moirail.

Rose watched with unreadable eyes as John's face lit up at the sight of his moirail joining him. She released a soft sigh as she moved to her feet as well, heading off to find her matesprite who was busy talking about fashion with Roxy.

* * *

Christmas dinner at the Lalonde's was an all hands on deck situation. Everyone helped pull things together and they shoved two tables together to make enough room for everyone. The food was delicious, the company delightful and Karkat was finally starting to understand why John enjoyed the holiday so much. It was a warm feeling, being surrounded by everyone even though the winter was harsh outside.

The night ended on a positive note and when Karkat curled up against John's side at the end of the night, his mind and heart were running with different thoughts and feelings. The past few days had been chaotic and he was left with a lot to thing about. But when John pulled him close and planted a kiss to his brow, all the thoughts and worries fled. That was what having a moirail felt like. And though Karkat wasn't completely sure about his feelings, or John's, he knew that no matter what, they were where they needed to be; with each other.

* * *

"Damnit John, can I at least put my stuff down?" Karkat grumbled softly as he entered his cabin, crinkling his nose at the cold musky feeling. "And start a fire, fuck it's freezing." He placed his bag on to his bed before quickly moving toward the fireplace.

"Okay, okay, but hurry." John bounced into the cabin, shutting the door behind him with a grin on his face. He was practically beaming and had been since they left Bowerstone earlier that morning. Though it had been sad to say goodbye to all the heroes, and Kanaya, they were both in high spirits. There plans to visit again and Karkat knew he would see Kanaya in due time. But John had one more present for Karkat that he was rather excited about.

"Are you staying here tonight?" Karkat asked, piling up some kindle atop two dry logs before trying to light a spark with his metal and flint.

"Hm, probably. I'll go see Casey tomorrow. You want to come?" John shifted from foot to foot as he watched the troll.

"I wouldn't mind." He grunted when a spark landed and leaned forward to blow against the kindle, smirking when a flame started. "I did make something for her."

"You did?" The hero stopped bouncing and flicked a hand so the wind swirled around the fire. Karkat jumped back just as it flared to life, letting out a searing heat that would warm the cabin in no time.

The troll gave him a soft glare as he rubbed a hand over his face. "It seemed appropriate."

"I got her something too! So we can take them to her tomorrow." John rolled his heels as he rubbed his gloved hands in front of him. "Okay, can we go then?"

Karkat snorted softly as he grabbed the pair of gloves John had given him earlier and tugged them on. "Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise."

"Of course it is."

"Come on!" John was out the door, leaving it open for Karkat as he flew into the air. "Before it starts snowing again!"

Karkat grumbled under his breath as he left the warm fire behind and stepped out into the cold snow. He shut the door behind him and barely flinched when the wind surrounded him and pulled him into the air. John's hand grasped his and then the two of them took off into the cold air. Karkat huddled closer to himself, pressing against John's side as they moved through the air.

"I can't even begin to imagine what this is."

"A surprise~." John teased, his hand tight around Karkat's. "I've been working on it for a while actually. Like long before we became moirails."

Crimson eyes narrowed. "Really?"

"Don't give me that look. You're going to love it. I just know it." Once they crossed over into Albion, John dipped down and pulled them into the forest till they landed on the ground once again. Karkat didn't question when the hero pulled him along down an unused path. "I found this back when Jake and I were first exploring. Before I met you. At the time, I didn't know what it was. But, with the help of Rose, we figured it out and got it working."

They came upon a stone arch with strange markings etched into the sides. John pulled him forward, under the arch and toward a strange glowing blue light that sat atop a circle platform. John grinned as they stopped on the large part of the platform and he released Karkat's hand to present to him his present. But the troll just blinked and stared at the glowing blue light.

"Um, what is it?"

"It's a cullis gate." John smiled, his eyes bright as he watched the troll.

"Uh-Huh." Karkat drawled, glancing at the hero. "And that would be?"

"It's a transportation device. Ancient actually. From the old kingdom. Heroes used to use them to get around everywhere. Most of them don't work but there's one in the castle in Bowerstone that works. This one," The hero grinned, his eyes full of mischief as he approached the troll and grasped his hand, linking their gloved fingers together. Then he pressed their foreheads together, the spin on his face absolutely brimming with excitement. "Leads to Brightwall."

Karkat's breath caught in his throat. "What?" He gasped softly, his shoulders tensing as his eyes widened.

"And not just Brightwall." John quickly pulled away and moved toward the glowing blue light. "But to the Reliquary. With this, you can travel from here to there and back again all in the same day without much effort."

"J-John." Karkat stumbled as he moved toward the other male, his eyes wide and his heart thumping hard in his chest. "What... are you serious?"

"You bet I am!" He stood in front of the glowing gate and held his arms out to the troll. "Come on, let me show you."

"You said... Heroes used them. Is it.. Is it safe?" He asked, his voice light and hopeful as he approached the beaming hero.

"We tested it. And yes, it's safe. Come with me, Karkat."

That smile and that hope was all the troll needed. He pushed forward, collapsing against John's chest and pushed the hero back into the gate. The strange pressure that consumed them was gone as quickly as it began and when Karkat opened his eyes once again, he was greeted with darkness. John grabbed his sides and pulled them out of the glowing gate. Karkat popped his head up, glancing around at the candle-lit room. It was familiar and for a moment, all Karkat could do was stare.

John hummed, steadying Karkat with hands on his shoulders as he turned the troll toward the door of the room where hallways of books could be seen. "What do you think?"

"Fuck, John." Karkat swallowed hard and quickly spun around, throwing his arms around John's neck and buried his face in his collarbone. "I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything." He chuckled, rubbing a hand over his back as he nuzzled into soft hair. "I can tell you're happy and that's all that matters."

"I don't deserve this." Karkat pulled away quickly, gathering John's face in his hands as he planted a few kisses to his lips. "I don't deserve a moirail like you. But I'm not complaining. Oh fuck I'm not complaining." He planted his lips hard over John's putting every ounce of feeling into that kiss that he could.

John's breath escaped him, his hands stilling against Karkat's hips as he pushed back into the kiss. The wet tongue against his lip prodded till he parted them. His tongue pushed forward, meeting Karkat's for only a second before the troll pulled away, panting softly. His cheeks and nose were flushed and John was sure his ears were as well; hidden under that green hat. John's cheeks were just as flushed and his heart hammered in his chest. Karkat flashed him a bright smile full of sharp fangs before he spun around and headed off toward the rows and rows of books.

John swallowed hard, lifting his fingers to his tingling lips. He watched as Karkat paused by a shelf and that flash of a smile returned as Adairis appeared at his side. With a deep breath, John moved to join them. He'd never seen Karkat smile like that. Never. And it made his heart react in a very strange way. But he pushed down those feelings and planted a smile on his face so he could join his moirail and their friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much just happened, didn't it? What a monster of a chapter. I hope you managed to pick up on all the details! And enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it! This chapter is a turning point. Things get different from here one out and just a bit rougher for our lovies. But don't fret, of course there is a happy ending in the works. 
> 
> Please take the time to leave a comment and let me know what you thought. We writers thrive on comments. Even if it's a simple "I liked this" it will make our day to know you enjoyed what we spent so long to create. Kudos are always welcomed but you can only kudo a chapter fic once! 
> 
> Thanks for taking the time to read! See you soon!
> 
> ~Addy~


	15. Month 8 - January - The Rise Of An Empress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Yes, I've returned! Here we are, finally and here we see things are getting just a bit different. My laptop's been a bit messed up lately so I apologize for that. I'd give you some links to some songs, but alas, my laptop is rude. 
> 
> Enjoy!

"Do you have everything?" Karkat asked softly, his fingers brushing over the few strands of dark hair that fell into John's eyes. The question barely registered in the hero's mind. Blue eyes focused on the gentle curve of a grey jaw and those plump dark lips that pressed together as Karkat tried to straighten out John's hair. It was a habit the troll had. Trolls enjoyed grooming one another when in a pale relationship and it was something John quite enjoyed. The feeling of those warm fingers against his skin always made his chest swell and his blood rush through his body like waves against the sand.

Those plump lips curled slightly in a scowl as he gave up and tugged the blue knit hat down over John's messy hair and red ears. For a moment, all John could see was red. Beautiful, deep, swirling red. The color of Rose's wine or freshly spilled blood. Either way, it was the most beautiful color John had ever had the pleasure to see. Crimson settled in yellow with black rings that brought out the color even more. When those eyes met his, he noticed the split pupils widen slightly and his breath caught in his throat.

"Well, Do you?"

John blinked, standing up straight as Karkat adjusted the blue hat on the hero's head. "Uh, Yeah. I've got everything." A smile curled to his lips as he slipped an arm around that nice waist, pulling them close together. "It's so sweet when you worry over me."

"It's my job." A sharp, but playful slap to his arm made both of them smile.

"Ah, your job." John leaned forward, pressing his face into the curve of Karkat's neck to nuzzle against that soft warm skin.

Karkat tensed for barely a split second before his hands slipped up John's arms to grip toned biceps. "Yes my job. Someone has to worry over your sorry ass."

John chuckled softly, pressing his lips to soft skin before he pulled away to meet burning crimson. "I'm glad it's you."

Something about the tender tone of those words made the tips of grey pointed ears flush red. Karkat swallowed, rolling his eyes as he squeezed John's biceps before pulling away. "Yeah, yeah." He waved a hand as he turned away from the hero to try and regain control over his pulsing heart. "Get out of here before it starts snowing again. Rose is waiting."

John grinned as he wrapped his arms around the troll from behind, giving him a good squeeze as he planted a kiss to a flushed cheek. "Yes, sir. I'll see you in a few days."

Karkat turned around in that hold enough to wrap his arms around John's neck in a hug. The hero had grown another inch and Karkat was starting to wonder if he would stop anytime soon. John assured him that he would by his birthday but the troll wasn't fond of being shorter than his moirail. He was short enough for a troll. Still, John didn't compare to Gamzee. Now that was a tall motherfucker.

"I'll be here." Karkat assured him before those warm thin lips pressed to his. His body relaxed at the pressure, his eyes slipping shut for just a moment to savor the warm kiss. He was allowed to savor the kiss, wasn't he? Every kiss he savored because he feared the next one would never come. That John would come to realize one day that their kissing wasn't as pale as it should have been.

"Oh, by the way," John started as he pulled their lips apart, a rather pleased expression on his face, "You look really good in red." He pushed their lips together once more before he removed himself completely from the troll's bubble so he could pick up his satchel from the floor.

The troll's head titled to the side, a flush curling up his neck as his hands rubbed over the red sweater he wore subconsciously. It was a gift from Kanaya and felt so soft and warm against his skin. Even if it displayed the color of his blood so brightly, he didn't mind. There was only John around to notice and he already knew the color of Karkat's blood; and he certainly didn't care. The compliment made his heart pound a little harder and his ears to flush nearly as red as the sweater. "Thanks."

John's lips quirked into a smile as he leaned down, his hand ghosting over a full hip as he planted a kiss to silky raven hair. "Kanaya should make things in that color for you more often."

The troll rolled his eyes as he nudged against the hero's chest. "Be safe. And stay warm."

"Thanks." He grinned, pulling away from the troll so he could head for the door. "You do the same."

Karkat stood in the middle of his little cabin, his arms crossed over his chest and his lips pulled back into the tenderest of smiles. "See you soon."

John gave the troll a wink before he pulled the door open and flew out into the cold night air. The wind slammed the door shut behind him and with a grin on his face and a pounding in his chest, John flew into the night on his way to Bowerstone.

* * *

Snow covered the rooftops of Bowerstone as the villagers began stirring from their beds to start their days. John arrived just as the sun peaked over the distant mountains and the sight of the town cast in warm rays of sun was a pleasure to behold. Untouched snow glistened with the light and he couldn't help the smile that came to his lips. No matter where he lived, Bowerstone would always hold a special place in his heart just like the dark forests of Mourningwood.

John told Karkat he was going to Bowerstone for a small quest that Rose needed his help with. Something that had to deal with his special skills of flying and whatnot. The troll had seemed a little confused with the vague explanation but he hadn't pressed the matter and John was grateful for that. He couldn't tell Karkat the truth. He couldn't tell the troll the real reason he was going to Bowerstone and then to Brightwall. Because that would mean admitting something he wasn't ready to admit. He needed to speak with Rose. It was urgent and it was important. He'd contacted her through the fireplace like she loved to do so much and without asking why, she agreed to meet with him. John had a feeling Rose already knew why he wanted to speak with her because Rose just always seemed to know things that she probably shouldn't.

"John!"

The hero paused in the air, glancing down at the women who had called out to him. It took a few seconds for him to register that wrinkled face but once he did, a grin came to his lips and he flew down to the ground. "Betty!" He exclaimed as his feet touched the ground in front of her.

"Oh my, look at you!" She laughed, a warm sound, as she reached up to cup his face between her hands. "You've grown so much since I've last seen you!"

He laughed warmly, reaching forward to wrap the older woman in a gentle hug. "It's been so long! How are you?" He asked as he pulled away from the hug.

"I'm doing just fine. I'm in town for a few days. Goodness, you've grown!" She laughed, pulling the shawl around her shoulders a little tighter.

John grinned, stranding proud and tall. "I finally beat Dave. I doubt I'll reach Jake's height but I'm pretty happy with it."

"Oh not just your height." Betty's eyes sparkled with something John couldn't read. "You filled out so well. Hard to tell you ever had teeth too big for your mouth."

"Hey." He whined softly, the smile still on his lips.

She waved a dismissing hand at him. "You're so handsome, John. And a man in love is the most handsome."

"I-In love?" His eyes widened at her statement.

"Why yes, of course. Or is there some other reason your eyes are sparkling like that and you're smile is that bright?" She leaned forward to peer up at his face, a knowing smile on her lips.

"Uh, well. Um... No." He answered honestly.

"That is what I thought." She leaned away, straightening up. "Whoever is the lucky person, dear? Is it that friend you brought to Christmas with you? Jane told me all about that."

"Uh, possibly."

"Good, Good for you." She nodded in approval. "You deserve happiness. All of you do."

He smiled warmly, nodding his head. "Thanks, Betty."

Betty smiled, tucking her hands close to her self as she look up at him. "Well, I'm sure you're off on another adventure so I won't keep you. Say hello to the others for me."

"Of course." He grinned and lifted into the air once again. "Take care, Betty!"

"You too, child!"

John flew off into the air, waving at the women before he turned forward to head over the bridge. People were stirring from their houses, children running off into the streets and the city of Bowerstone was coming to life as the sun rose over the mountains. John's heart pounded in his chest as he flew, his throat a little dry. Betty had picked up on his feelings immediately. What did that even mean? Was he that obvious about it? He was pretty sure Karkat had no idea but he was a bit worried now. He pushed forward in the air to reach Rose faster.

When his feet connected with the ground, he was moving up those steps faster than he could breathe. He knocked against the solid wooden door three good times before his hands started to fumble together against his stomach. It wasn't long before the handle twisted and the door swung open to reveal the elegantly beautiful young blonde John knew all too well.

"John." Rose greeted with a faint smile on her dark lips. "It's so nice to see you again."

"You too, Rose." Some of his anxiety slipped away as he leaned forward to wrap one arm around the woman's waist in a hug. "Thanks for taking time to see me."

"For you John, I'll take as much time as you need." Her beautiful purple eyes glanced at him knowingly before she pulled away and welcomed him into the home. "Come in from the cold. I made some tea. Are you hungry at all?"

John nodded as he entered the home and shut the door behind him as Rose moved into the kitchen. She wore a purple and black dress John had never seen before and it hugged every lovely curve she had. He was sure Kanaya had made it for it. "That would be nice, thanks. Um, yeah I'm a bit hungry. I haven't eaten since dinner last night with Karkat."

"Please sit then. I bought some croissants and Jade made lovely jelly from some Aurorian berries." She spoke as she moved about the kitchen.

"That would be great, thanks Rose." He gave her a smile as he moved to sit at the table, removing his satchel and to rest on the floor before he sat down, tugging his hat off. "How have you been?" He thought starting with casual conversation would be best. He wasn't sure he was ready to dive face first into his problems. Besides, he hadn't actually spent any alone time with Rose in such a long time, he missed it. They used to spend hours on the couch talking about love, nature and magic. John was the only hero would could sit still long enough for Rose to analyze which was surprising since he was always so anxious to move into the next quest.

"I've been lovely. I found an Old Kingdom book that I've been busy translating. It speaks of old magic that we have yet to tap into. I'm hoping to find a way to tap into that magic. It could be helpful in the future." She spoke softly and elegantly as she prepared the tea and croissants for them on a small platter. "Especially if we all plan to help with the troll uprising."

"You think it could be helpful?"

Rose turned away from the kitchen, carrying the platter in her hands as she moved tot he table. "I have hope that it could be, yes. There's a lot of magic in the air, soil and water of Albion. There is just as much in Alternia. I've learned from Kanaya that there are few trolls capable of dealing with the magic. So their magic remains docile for the most part." As she spoke, she placed the platter on the table before placing a cup of tea before John and a small plate of croissants with strange colored jelly in small bowls on the platter. She picked up her own cup of tea and sat down, sitting up straight as she sipped her tea. "They have one troll on their side capable of magic; Aradia. According to Kanaya, she's very skilled at what she does but considering what they are going up against..." She sighed softly, her eyes floating off toward the sparking fire in the fireplace. "They need all the help we are able to give."

"And this old magic is a part of that?"

"I hope so. I know you feel the sparks of magic in the air that move with you but also fight against you occasionally." John nodded, encouraging her to continue. "The ones that fight are the old ones. Magic that far surpasses our understanding. We are currently unable to tap into it. But I hope with a bit more study, I will be able to access it."

"Jeeze." John sighed softly as he leaned back in his chair, taking a bite of the warm flaky croissant in his hand. "Be careful, Rose. That sounds really dangerous."

"It is." She admitted. "But Roxy is helping as well so I hope with the two of us, we'll be alright."

"Roxy's helping?"

"Of course. Everyone's agreed to help with the uprising."

John paused, watching as Rose took a sip from her cup before he spoke. "They are?"

She hummed softly, placing her cup down on the table. "We feel perhaps you were right. Maybe this is why we are all here. And even if it is not, it is our duty as heroes to help. You and I have strong ties with the trolls. Our family wishes to support us."

John smiled, biting on his lower lip. "Yeah, we've got a great family."

"We do." Rose agreed with a curt nod of her head.

A warm silence fell over them as John took his time in filling his belly. Rose was content with sipping her tea and watching the fire, occasionally glancing at John with eyes that made the hero squirm. With three croissants and a cup of tea in his belly, John leaned back in his chair and finally met that gaze.

"Okay." He responded softly.

Rose's lips curled at the corners as she folded her hands in her lap. "I am glad you came to me with this, John. I hope I can be of some help."

"I haven't even told you why I came." He mumbled softly, crossing his arms over his chest as he sank in his chair.

"Right. Then please, tell me."

John took a deep breath and fumbled over the thoughts in his head. Rose was patient as she waited for John to speak and he was grateful for that. She would never push him for information and that was how she always got information out of him. Because she was kind, patient and understanding. She never made him feel like an idiot for how he felt and she was a comforting presence.

"I'm not even sure where to start..."

"Start from the beginning, if that makes you feel comfortable." Her voice was soft and even.

"I just... I feel like you know most of it anyway... And I know you already know what I'm going to say so I should just say it." He took a deep breath and raised crystal blue to meet glimmering purple. "I think I'm in love with him." The words fell out of his mouth like stones, crumbling down his chest and landing into his stomach where they made a heavy burn.

Rose nodded, her face even as she looked over the way John's face flushed. "And why do you think this?"

Another deep breath that constricted his chest as he slump in his chair. "Because... I don't feel like this around anyone else." He tilted his head back, his eyes on the ceiling before they slipped shut and all he could see was glistening crimson. "I guess I should have known in the beginning. The way I was just... addicted to him. The way I wanted to always be around him. I thought it was just to be his friend, and it was but... it's developed into something else. I don't know how... But again, I guess I do." He rambled on as Rose listened intently. "He's just so... beautiful. Like, yeah, he's physically beautiful on so many levels I could never even explain. But he's beautiful on the inside. The way I feel when I'm around him... It's not like anything else. He can make me feel so freaking warm without even touching me and my hearts never been this erratic before. I know the different between friendship and love... and this... fuck Rose, this has to be love."

Rose waited a moment, her eyes scanning over her fellow hero for a moment to be sure he was done speaking before she started. "John, why do you believe I already knew what you were going to say?"

"Because you always know these things." He peeked open an eye, tilting his head to look at her.

"That may be true, but the waves were not what told me this time, John. You were."

"Me?" He lifted his head, watching her with slightly wide eyes.

"You're a very expressive person. You always have been. Your emotions are easy to read. I have suspected for quite a while that you harbored feelings for Karkat because of this. The only other time you would blush in such a manner was around Jake. And that, to be frank, was more of appreciation than love."

"J-Jake? You knew about Jake?"

"John, Everyone knew about Jake."

An embarrassed flush crawled up the sides of his neck as he quickly glanced away from her. "Including Jake?"

"Including Jake. I believe he was waiting for you to admit your feelings. But, I feel, He was exceptionally happy when you found Karkat."

"Well, Yeah, Cause he loved Dirk." He mumbled softly.

"He does. And you love Karkat."

"Ugh." John groaned, pushing the empty plate to the side so he could thunk his head against the table. "What the hell do I do, Rose? If you know that means Jade and Dave know. Which means everyone freaking knows and oh fuck what if Karkat knows?!" He panicked, raised his head suddenly with wide blue eyes.

"Shh, Shh, Karkat is not aware."

"How do you know that?"

"Well, if how he acted at Christmas is any example, He's perhaps as oblivious as you."

John groaned as his head thunked against the table again. "What do I do?"

"You honestly want my advice?"

"Yes, Rose, I do. Because I'm his moirail. That means pale. That means so fucking platonic it's not funny and that's not how I feel at all! I mean, yes I guess I'm pale for him cause I care about his well-being and safety but isn't that part of love too?" He groaned as he grasped at his hair with both hands, keeping his forehead planted on the wooden table. "Trolls are just so... aggravating sometimes! How can they separate those things? I mean, I guess we can too? Like I care about your well-being and everyone else's but this is different. This is on such a bone deep level that I am constantly thinking about him even when I'm with him. He's integrated into me so deep that he's all I fucking think about and it's driving me nuts, Rose. Christmas was a turning point for us. As moirails, as anything. Because he completely opened himself up to me and he's continued to be open since. And I swear to who ever the hell made us, if he keeps blushing like that and looking at me like that one of these days I'm just going to jump him and probably scare the piss out of him. And fuck Rose, I don't want to do that. The last I could ever want to do is to hurt him or do something he doesn't want. But I just..." His hands fell from his head and he finally glanced up to look at her with watery blue eyes. "I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm betraying him."

Rose took a deep breath, her gaze sympathetic. "You came to me in search of honesty and advice, correct?" John nodded once, his chin resting on the table as his arms dangled at his sides. "Well, to be brutally honest, He may actually feel betrayed to know you harbor these feelings."

"Fuck." He groaned, thumping his forehead against the table.

"Trolls takes their quadrants exceptionally seriously, John. To switch between them or so pose as something you are not is considered a betrayal. But... This case may be different. Because you _are_ human and, Karkat does not act very pale with you."

John was still for a moment before he finally sat up straight and met Rose's gaze. "What do you mean by that?"

"I spoke in depth with Kanaya about how moirails and matesprites act. We both came to agree that Karkat acts somewhere in the middle with you. It was very surprising to her, considering Karkat felt very strongly about separating quadrants back when he still lived in Alternia. But he's lived on his own for such a long time, John. He may not even realize what he is doing, or perhaps he does. The point, is that there is too much miscommunication going on."

"So what do I do?"

"You tell him. You need to be up front and honest about your feelings, John, and be prepared for any type of reaction he may give you. He may be flattered, he may be hurt, he may be angry and he may be stunned. But he may also be happy. There is no way to tell. But there had been so much miscommunication with your relationship with him, I feel it's time you are both honest with one another. I do not feel this is something will work itself out like your friendship. This is deeper and there is much more at risk."

John nodded, lowering his eyes to his hands on his lap. "I'm... I'm scared, Rose. This could go so badly. He could end up hating me, like real hate and I couldn't handle that. I don't want to lose him. I can handle him not returning my feelings. I couldn't handle never seeing him again."

"Then tell him these things. He needs to know everything that you feel, John. You need to be open and honest with him, just as you have been with me. That is the only advice I can give you."

John swallowed hard, the lump in his throat larger than it had been when he arrived. But he knew Rose was right. Keeping his feelings inside would only cause them to overflow and make a mess out of everything. He had to be honest with Karkat and soon. He inhaled deeply before he put a soft smile on his lips and met his fellow hero's gaze. "Thanks, Rose. I guess I just needed someone else to validate what I've been thinking."

Rose smiled, the corner's of her blackened lips turning upwards elegantly. "I'm pleased to be of assistance. I'm very glad you've come to terms with your feelings. After Christmas, I feared you would decide to bottle them up and not allow yourself the true happiness you deserve."

"Ah, Jeeze, Rose." He laughed softly as he rubbed the back of his neck, a flush spreading over his cheeks. "Thanks."

She nodded, her eyes sparkling. "If you end up needing more advice dealing with the anatomy of trolls, I'm more then happy to help as well."

"Oh maker." John's eyes widened and the flush spread up his neck and over his ears. "I've already seen him naked." He admitted with a mumble as he buried his head in his hands, pushing his glasses up to rub at his eyes.

"Seeing him naked and seeing him aroused are two very different things, John. Though I will take note that you've seen him naked."

"It's not like that. We bathe together-You know what, nevermind." He huffed softly, his heart pounding in his chest as she squirmed in his seat. "And how is it different?"

"Do you really wish to know?"

"How do _you_ know?" He questioned, narrowing his eyes at the faintly smirking blonde.

"I'm not one to kiss and tell, John."

"I don't want to know." He shook his head, the sudden vision of Kanaya popping in his head that he quickly shoved to the back of his mind. "When I first saw Karkat naked, I didn't think much of it. I mean, we were... But now, I have to force myself to look away or who knows how my body will react."

"Did you know all trolls have the same anatomy, John?"

He glanced up in slight surprise. "What?"

"As humans, we have different reproductive organs. Thus, we have biological males and females. But trolls are very different. The only thing that separates a male troll from a female troll would be their chests. Trolls do not pick mates based on genders, as humans so often do. Being with a male is of no concern to Karkat, I'm sure. I know perhaps that is something that has crossed your mind but believe me, your gender does not matter to him in any way."

John just stared at Rose with his lips parted, a bit dumbfounded by her words. "Oh."

Rose's smile grew as she continued. "Every troll has the same anatomy though the specifics do differ much like humans. Not every male organ is the same in a human just as not every reproductive organ is the same in a troll."

"All I saw was... a slit." John recalled.

"Considering he was not aroused, that is all you would see. Trolls keep their reproductive organs within them."

"Seriously?" John's eyes widened as he leaned forward. "How the hell do they do that?"

"Because there is space for them to do so. The bulge will come out when it is aroused and you may actually be surprised by... what it looks like and how large it may be, depending on the troll. I have no idea what Karkat's would look like and I honestly have no interest in knowing."

John swallowed, his mouth dry and his stomach churning as he gazed at Rose. "Well, what _does_ a bulge look like? Roughly?"

She eyed him for a moment, taking in his flushed cheeks and bright eyes. "I feel it would be best for you to discover that on your own."

John groaned, leaning back in his seat. "Like Karkat would ever let me near that part of him."

"If it turns out, he would not, then maybe I will tell you. If you're curious enough."

"Deal." John nodded with a smile.

"For your sake, I hope you find out on your own."

"I... Yeah, I..." He squirmed in his seat once again, glancing away. "I hope so too."

* * *

The reliquary smelled of dust, death and books. Nothing new to the hero as he descended the stairs. The cullis gate in Fairfax Castle brought him just outside of Brightwall and he vaguely wondered if he would run into Karkat. It wouldn't surprise him of the troll had decided to use the cullis gate John had restored for him to spend time in the academy or to visit their friends. But even though he loved the troll, he wasn't ready to see him. He had come to the reliquary to speak with Adairis. He took Rose's advice to heart but he felt a second opinion wouldn't hurt. After all, Adairis knew Karkat better than Rose did. The two had clicked over romance novels and grew even closer since the cullis gate was brought up.

"Either you're wondering around aimless in your thoughts or you have a death wish."

The deep voice startled John from his thoughts along with the cold, strong hand that suddenly wrapped around his bicep. He blinked, noticing the broken part of the floor that he almost stepped into. He glanced to the side, a smile coming to his face at the man would had stopped him. "Asher." He greeted. "Hello."

"Yeah, It was the first one." Asher shook his head as he released the hero. "What brings you by?"

"Nice to see you too." John teased softly, patting a hand against the taller male's bare chest as he glanced around the area. "Is Adairis around? I need to talk to him about something."

"You bring spitfire with you?" Asher questioned as he turned away from John and began walking.

The hero was quick to follow along. "No; He's not here?"

"He's not with you?"

"Well, I left for Bowerstone so he was home. I thought he might come here while I was gone."

"Haven't seen him." Asher shrugged as he led John down one of the many hallways of the reliquary.

"Oh, Okay good."

"Good? You piss him off again?"

"No! No, I just, I want to talk to Adairis about him and that would be hard to do with him here."

"Hm? Finally gonna confess your undying love for him and propose huh? Good for you." Asher's voice remained even as he spoke and they turned a corner to enter a large well-lit room. Sitting on the floor, surrounded by books was none other than Adairis who looked up when the two entered.

"John!" Adairis was in the air before John could retort to Asher's words. "Hello!" The banshee wrapped his arms around the hero, his feet hovering in the air. "It's so nice to see you!"

"You too." John smiled, wrapping one arm around the smaller male.

"Is Karkat with you?" The blue hair male quickly pulled away to look for the troll only to seem slightly disappointed when he didn't spot him.

"No, I came alone. I wanted to talk to you about something."

A dark eyebrow perked. "Oh really?" A smirk curled to Adairis' unnaturally large mouth as he latched on to one of John's hands and pulled him forward. "Well, please join me then."

John followed along willingly as he wondered if Adairis actually walked anywhere anymore. The banshee took his place on the floor and pushed around a few books so John could join him. The hero gave him a smile before he sat himself down on the cracked marble floor, folding his legs in front of him. Asher joined them, taking his place beside Adairis as he picked up one of the many books scattered on the floor.

"What is this I hear about you confessing your undying love?" Adairis questioned, a knowing smile on his lips as he watched John with bright eyes.

"That was Asher being an ass." John pointed out, narrowing his eyes at the male who seemed disinterested in the conversation.

"Oh." Adairis sounded a little disappointed but he quickly brushed that off as he settled on his knees, folding his hands in his lap. "Then what did you want to discuss?"

"Ah, well, it's about Karkat."

"Is he alright? Are you two fighting again?"

"No, He's just fine. We're not fighting. Actually, everything's... really great." His cheeks flared with life as he quickly glanced away from those prying cyan eyes.

"Mmhmm." Adairis tilted his head, leaning forward to peer into John's face as Asher glanced at them. "Then what is it?"

"Well... I mean... I think you know."

Dark eyebrow perked up. "I know?"

"Probably. Rose knew. And you know Karkat more than Rose does so I can only imagine how much you know."

Adairis glanced between John and Asher, his throat tightening as he swallowed. "You are going to be a bit more clear, John."

The hero released a sigh and hung his head. "I've finally come to terms with my feelings for Karkat."

"Oh!" The sharp clap of his hands pressing together made John snap his head up. "Yes! Of course!" He grinned, showing pin sharp teeth. "It's about time, John!"

"Shit, does _everyone_ know?"

"Pretty obvious." Asher added in, his eyes still focused on the open book in his hands.

"Well, I'm sure Karkat doesn't know. He hasn't mentioned it at all." Adairis confirmed as he eyed John. "Wait, did you tell him?"

"No! Maker, No. I just, I'm scared to."

"As you should be." Adairis nodded, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Dear." Asher spoke sharply, nudging his lover with his shoulder. "You're not helping."

"Oh, right, Sorry."

John glanced between them as he chewed on his bottom lip. "I talked this over with Rose and she told me I just need to tell him how I feel. I agree with her but well, I'm kinda scared. So I thought, I'd ask you? Cause next to me and Eridan, you probably know him pretty well. And Eridan isn't exactly available and he's a troll so I'm scared to ask him too."

The banshee tilted his head, narrowing his eyes. "What exactly are you asking me?"

"What should I do?"

"Tell him, obviously." Asher cut in. "Man up and admit your feelings to him already. It;s so obvious you're in love with him, it's kinda pathetic."

"Now you're not helping." Adairis hissed, snapping his teeth at his lover before turning his attention to John. "I'll agree that it is obvious to us, but it is not so to Karkat. He's... Well, He's a sensitive guy."

"I know that." John nodded.

The banshee took a breath, taking a moment to think over what he felt was best. "You do realize, he will feel betrayed by your feelings."

"I... I know."

"Being moirails is a huge step for him."

"I know." John groaned, closing his eyes as he ran a hand through his hair. "I really don't want to fuck it up because of feelings I have no control over."

"And that is exactly why you would not fuck it up." When those crystal blue eyes met his, Adairis continued. "Karkat knows more than anyone that feelings are not a thing you can control. He will respect how you feel. He may feel hurt and a bit betrayed but I don't honestly think he would be truly angry with you."

"So, you think I should tell him too?"

"I don't think you should just blurt it out, no. But you do need to be honest with him. I think perhaps ask how he feels about the quadrants; specifically the red one. It is an area he as avoided speaking about with me and I am curious as to why. Once you have a good feel on what that quadrant means to him, I feel you'll know how to admit your feelings to him. Remember, Karkat is a romantic at heart. If you're going to tell him you are in love with him, you should do it right. You'll have a better chance of him responding better."

"I... That's actually a really good idea. But, I mean, I doubt he feels the same way. We're moirails and being pale is so important to him. He already told me its the most important quadrant to him."

"There is such a thing of meshing quadrants. Its rare among trolls but you're a human. You _can_ be his lover and his best friend, John. If he allows it."

"Yeah, If he allows it." The hero repeated, letting out a tired sigh.

Adairis glanced at his lover who gave him a nod. "It may not be my place to say, and I don't want to get your hopes up, but I feel Karkat feels the same way you do."

John's head snapped up at that and his skin flushed. "You do?"

The banshee nodded. "I could be wrong. It's entirely possible. But in my opinion, that troll is so fucking red for you he's drowning in it."

The hero made a strange sound in the back of his throat as he glanced away from the other two, every inch of skin that could be seen flushing darkly. "Oh, maker, I hope he is."

"You'll never know if you don't just tell him." Asher pointed out.

"Right!" John shot up into the air, a smile on his face. "I'm going to tell him. I'm going to take the gate home and I'm going to tell him."

Adairis grinned as he shot up into the air beside John. "It's about time!" He grabbed the hero's hands and pushed something into them. "Remember what I told you and be sure to do it right."

When his hands were released John glanced down at the bag Adairis had given him. He tugged it open and perked a brow at the red stone within. "What's this?"

"It's called a Crimson Arrow. A type of stone found in Alternia. I found it a while back and it matches Karkat's eyes perfectly. I thought perhaps, you could find a use for it. Specifically, when admitting your feelings to him."

John nodded, a tender smile on his lips as he closed the bag and stuffed it into the pocket of his pants. He was quick to wrap his arms around Adairis in a tight hug. "Thank you so much, Adairis."

"You're very welcome, John." The banshee laughed softly, patting his back before they pulled apart.

"We'll visit soon, I promise."

Adairis waved at him. "Yes, yes, now go to your troll, John, before you lose your courage."

"Thanks. Both of you." He glanced at Asher who only waved at him. "Take care."

"Be good to him!" Adairis called as John flew out of the room to find the gate that would lead him back to the troll of his dreams.

* * *

His heart was pounding so hard he was sure it would just burst from his chest and fall from the sky. He'd never been so nervous in his life. His courage had died down just enough to make him slow down and think about what he was doing to do. Adairis was right. He needed to ask Karkat how he felt about the red quadrant before he offered himself up to take that place. He needed to figure out what he wanted to say. He had to make sure he was able to explain himself before Karkat lost his patience and left. This was important. This was so important and John knew it would be life changing. But he made the choice a long time ago without even thinking about it.

Karkat filled the hole he had in his chest. A hole he thought would always be there. But Karkat filled it with so much love and warmth that it was overwhelming for the hero. He never thought it possible to love someone so deeply that it hurt. He never knew love came with pain. Karkat had been right about that. Love wasn't always happy times and rainbows. Love was hard and sometimes it hurt. It hurt because John was keeping it in. It hurt because there was the constant thought of, "What if he doesn't accept my feelings? What if he doesn't return them?" John would be devastated. He knew he would be. But he would accept and respect whatever choices Karkat made. Unless that meant never seeing the troll again. John would never allow that to happen. One way or another, he would keep his place at Karkat's side. Even if that place was only as his friend.

That was true love; When one was willing to accept defeat and let the person they loved go so they could find their own true love. John was willing to do that. He was willing to do anything that would make Karkat happy because he fully believed the troll's happiness was more important than anything else. Twenty years alone had affected the troll more than he thought and all John wanted was for him to be happy. Be it with him or not. John was willing to accept what Karkat wanted.

Snow covered the ground around Karkat's cabin. He'd only been gone two days but the snow was fresh so he knew it had snowed while he was away. With his heart in his throat, John landed and made his way to the door. He wasn't sure what he'd do when he saw Karkat but he couldn't just stand out in the cold why he thought about it. As he moved to open the door, he paused, his eyes going wide at the sounds he suddenly heard.

"Fucking _hell._ Your hands-" A soft groan, "They're fucking cold."

"Hell, Kar." John's spine ran cold at the familiar voice. "You're so damn... tight."

Flashes of imagines ran over John's head, making his stomach sink to the floor. It... It couldn't be, could it?

"Ahhh." The soft moan made a deep flush crawl up John's neck. " _Yes, Eridan, right there._ "

"Karkat!" John gasped, shoving open the door as he entered the cabin, startling the two trolls on Karkat's bed.

What greeted John's eyes was not what he had been imagining at all. Karkat lay on his stomach, his sweater discarded on the floor while Eridan sat on his lower back, his knees bent on either side of the troll as he pushed the heels of his palms into Karkat's shoulders. Crimson and violet stared at him in surprise, the deep blush on his cheeks all the more embarrassing.

"Um." He swallowed hard, standing up straight as he pushed the door shut to keep out the cold. "Hi, Eridan."

With a perked brow, Eridan gazed over John before a smirk curled to his lips. "Hello John."

"Why the hell did you come bursting in here like someone was dying?" Karkat grunted, his cheek pressed into his folded arms.

"I, Uh, Nevermind." John shook his head, ignoring the way his body flushed with immense relief.

Karkat eyed him before glancing back at Eridan. "Can you get off me now?"

"No." Eridan replied, pushing his hands between Karkat's shoulder blades. "You're so fuckin' tense, Kar. I'm not done."

"What are you two doing?" John questioned, removing his satchel to drop by the small kitchen table.

"Your moirail has apparently refused to inform you of his back issues." Eridan spoke softly, his hands moving over Karkat's back elegantly. His long sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and his scarf was discarded to the corner of the bed with Karkat's sweater.

"I don't have back issues anymore, fucknugget." Karkat growled but made no effort to remove Eridan from his back.

"Ah, so these tense muscles mean nothing." Violet eyes rolled as Eridan lifted up onto his knees to give a good push into Karkat's spine. There was a crack that made all three of them wince.

"I take it that's a moirail's job?" John asked, glancing between the two.

Eridan tensed for a moment before a smirk curled to his lips. "You'd be correct about that. Sorry, John."

"Hm? Oh, I don't mind. As long as it makes Karkat feel better. You're probably better at it than I am."

"Ah, but I'm sure Karkat wwould rather havve your hands moving all over his-Oww, fuck Kar, that hurt." Eridan retracted his hands quickly after Karkat managed to give him a good kick in his spine.

"Get off me." He hissed, glaring bright eyes at the seadweller.

"Fine, Fine." Eridan slipped off the other troll till he could stand beside the bed. He whipped his hands on his pants before tugging down his sleeves. "Excuse me for trying to help."

John laughed softly, watching as Karkat sat up and snatched his sweater to tug back on. He was a little disappointed to see all that beautiful grey skin go away. "Not that I'm complaining, but what brings you here, Eridan?"

"Oh." That smirk was back, revealing pin sharp teeth as Eridan placed his hands on his hips. "Fef's called a meeting so I'vve come to bring Karkat. He insisted wwe wwait for you."

"You're early." Karkat mumbled softly as he crossed the few spaces between them, passing Eridan as he moved to rest his hands on John's biceps while he tilted his head just slightly to plant a kiss along John's jaw line. At normal height, his nose came right to John's jaw line and the hero thought they were just the absolute perfect height for kissing. So, he turned his head just enough and captured those lips in a soft kiss that made the troll's claws tighten around his arms.

Neither noticed the flick of amusement in violet eyes before Eridan quickly looked away to give them a little privacy. He turned away from them to pick up the bag he'd brought with him and dropped it on the bed to dig through.

"Took less time than I thought." John spoke with a warm smile on his lips, his eyes focused on those beautiful shimmering wine. "So where's this meeting? When is it?"

"In a feww days." Eridan answered, his back to the others as he continued to dig through his bag. "It's in a small unsuspecting town. It should take us only a day or twwo to get there, depending on howw fast you can fly and keep up wwith us."

"Wait." John glanced up, his hand ghosting over Karkat's hip as he turned his attention to Eridan. "We're going to Alternia?"

"Course wwe are." The seadweller spoke fondly as he grabbed what he wanted from his bag. "Wwhich means, dear hero, wwe havve some wwork to do." He turned around with two oddly shaped _horns_ in his hands.

"What." John spoke flatly.

"If you're discovered, you'll get culled." Karkat answered, pulling away from his moirail but lingered close enough that if John wanted to touch the troll, he could. "Eridan has a plan."

John glanced between the two trolls, noticing the light flush on his moirail's nose before perking a brow. "And what would that be?"

"I'm turning you into a troll." Eridan shook the horns in his hands for emphasis.

"Huh." John let out a soft laugh, a smile curling to his lips. "Okay."

"It's going to be a bit of wwork. I brought some clothes that may fit you. You'vve growwn since I last saww you." Eridan tilted his head, one of his pins flapping for a second before he turned back to his bag, placing the horns down on the bed.

"I have to wear your clothes, huh?" John brushed his hand over Karkat's arm before he approached the bed, eyeing the horns. They were the same color as Eridan's and Karkat's; The granite of oranges and yellows. But they were certainly larger than Karkat's. One was nearly identical to Eridan's horns, including the size, John realized with a quick look to the seadweller's horns. The other made the same wave like shape but then curled under itself into a loop. John narrowed his eyes as he picked up the horns, noticing how light they felt in his hands. They were fake. He had no idea what they were made out of but they looked real. He was sure they were much too light to be real and the texture was a bit off to be real. Unless troll horns had different texture. He'd only ever felt Karkat's horns and it had been a while since he had.

"You do realize how dangerous this is, don't you?" Karkat cut through his thoughts. The troll stayed where he was, his arms crossed over his chest and a frown on his lips.

"Yeah but I mean, I'm pretty capable of handling myself, don't you think?" John flashed his moirail a smile as he shifted the horns to lay together. He wasn't all that surprised to see that when the two were put together, they made his hero symbol. "Did you make these, Eridan?"

Violet eyes sparkled with amusement. "Do you like them?"

"They're really cool." John chuckled as he pulled them apart and moved to place them against his head. He turned toward Karkat with a grin on his face as he held the horns up. "What do you think, Karkat?"

The troll rolled his eyes. "You look ridiculous."

"I havven't evven begun." Eridan waved a hand at Karkat. "Sit dowwn and wwatch the magic unfold."

Karkat hissed, his lips curling over his fangs. "You two play dress up. I'm going to go get something." He moved toward the door but paused when John called out to him.

"Where are you going?"

"There's something I promised someone a long time ago and I need to go get said thing." He waved a hand at the two of them and neither missed the flush of color on his cheeks. "I'll be back."

"Okay. Be safe." John called as the troll left into the cold, shutting the door behind him. "Hm, I wonder what it is."

"Probably something for Rezi." Eridan answered, his attention set on the clothes he was pulling from the bag.

John realized he was alone with Eridan for the first time. His heart thumped as he placed the horns back down on the bed. "Rezi?"

"Terezi." Eridan clarified as he pulled out a pair of black pants to look over. "You are awware they wwere together, correct?"

"Together?" John's eyebrows shot up. "What? No. Karkat didn't tell me that."

The seadweller perked a dark brow as he turned to John, holding the pair of pants against the hero's hip to measure if they would be long enough. "You're his moirail and there are things he's still keeping from you?"

"I wouldn't say he's keeping things from me. It's... just not something we've talked about. So he's had someone in his red quadrant before?"

"Ah." Eridan let out a soft snort as he tossed the pants on the bed to return digging through his bag. "No. He has not. The only quadrant I am awware Kar has ever filled is pale."

John chewed on his lower lip as he dropped down to sit on the edge of the bed, picking up the horns to place in his lap. "You said he and Terezi were together?"

"Not in the normal sense of the word, I suppose. He pinned after her for ages." There was a fond smile on Eridan's lips as he glanced at John. "He nevver wwas one for admitting his flushed feelings. She meant a lot to him. Still does, I assume."

_Oh_. John swallowed hard against the sudden pain in his chest. He felt like a rock decided to settle right in the middle of his chest and remain there.

"But twwenty swweeps is a long time." Eridan continued, shifting his eyes away from John. "He's obviously movved on."

Those words eased his pain only slightly. "Is she going to be there?"

"Yes. Evveryone wwill. And you're showwing up with Karkat, so wwe havve to make you presentable." Eridan's voice shifted into a more commanding tone as he tossed the pants over John's head. "Put those on. Wwe can't havve you wwearing your human clothes."

John groaned as he got to his feet, putting the horns on the kitchen table as he threw the pants over the back of a chair. "Are these your clothes?"

"No. Wwe're a bit too far apart." Eridan placed a black long sleeved shirt down on the table for John before he returned to his bag. "Don't bother putting the shirt on. I havve something else I need to do to you."

"You're enjoying this." John pointed out as he tugged his thick blue tunic off over his head.

"Admittedly, yes, I am." The smile on his lips was fond as he started to pull out little jars from his bag. "I'm dying to see Kar's reaction."

"I'm not going to look _that_ different, am I?" John asked as he kicked off his boots and his pants soon followed.

"The point here, John, is for Kar to see you in a wway he's never seen you. Dare I say, I'm curious as to if it may change the wway he looks at you."

John perked a brow as he shifted to tug on the black pants that were a bit too tight. "What do you mean?"

"Oh, John, Don't think for a single second I'vve been oblivvious to the wway you look at Kar."

John paused in buttoning up the pants, his blood rushing cold and his hands shaking as he glanced up to see Eridan looking at him with that same knowing smile Rose would always give him. "Oh."

"Don't fret." He waved a clawed hand at him. "I approve. Greatly actually if it means I may find a wway to wwiggle my wway back into the spot you'vve taken."

"You want to be his moirail again." John stated, standing up straight.

"Can you blame me?"

"Well... No. I guess I should be happy that you're on my side."

"I'm on Kar's side, actually, it just happens to be your side as wwell."

"You're going to try to make me troll hot aren't you?" John asked, a smile curling to his lips as he worked on buttoning up the pants. They had three buttons and he couldn't help wondering why they had three buttons and why the crotch was so damn tight. And then he remembered Karkat naked. His ears flushed red and he quickly turned away from Eridan so he could adjust himself properly in those tight pants.

"It wwon't take much effort." Eridan answered honestly, his violet eyes scanning over the vast amount of skin over the tight muscles of John's back. "Honestly, howw does he resist you as it is?"

John's eyebrows shot up and he glanced at Eridan over his shoulder. The strange heat in those violet eyes made John's stomach sink slightly. But the heat was gone almost as soon as John had noticed it and Eridan was smirking at him in a playful manner. They stared at each other a moment longer before John finally turned around and shrugged.

"I was not meant to wear troll pants."

Eridan perked a brow as he approached the hero, his eyes landing on the way those pants came to rest on John's hips. They were low, so low in fact that the 'v' of John's hips was more evident than ever before and the trail of dark hair that lead beneath the pants was rather appealing. "Oh, He'll fuckin' love that." He smirked, meeting John's eyes for a moment before turning back to his bag. "Wwe'vve got some wwork to do."

* * *

Karkat was careful as he cradled the old dirty ring in his hand. He'd buried it long ago without ever forgetting where he had done so. It was one of the few things he brought with him from Alternia when he ran away. It belonged to Kanaya and he had every intention of returning the thing. He took his time in cleaning the ring by the river side, scrubbing away the dirt. By the time he was done, his hands were flushed red from the cold and the silver band was sparkling. The small green jewel nestled in the band was sparkling and Karkat was proud of himself. Kanaya would be happy to have it back. She'd given it to him so long ago as a sign of trust and he needed to return that trust.

The moon was high in the sky as he made his way back to the cabin. He could only imagine what Eridan had done to his moirail while he was gone. He half expected to find John turned into some crazy colorful creature because it was not something he would put past Eridan. But when he finally returned to the cabin and walked inside, he certainly did not expect what greeted him.

Eridan sat on the bed, busying himself with his scarf while John stood near the table as he packed a few things in a leather satchel. Both looked up when Karkat entered but his attention was fully on John. His heart hammered against his chest, his mouth went dry and something stirred deep in his stomach.

The pants he wore were much too tight for him, hugging every curve and muscle and flat out making his ass look wonderful. They hung so low on his hips that if it were not for the long black shirt he wore, Karkat was sure he would see too much skin for him to handle. Not to mention troll pants were not made for someone who wore their bulge out in the open. That was very obvious from the slight curve Karkat could see along his hip. Eridan had made up John's face so his skin was as grey as theirs with dark lips and accents. Karkat didn't ask how Eridan had done it, he was just awe that the seadweller _had_ done it. When John smiled, his teeth were the same human teeth he's always had but those eyes. Those beautiful crystal blue eyes stood out against that grey skin and Karkat found his breath didn't know where to go. The horns stuck out through holes on either side of the hooded cloak he wore, hiding any other bit of pale skin that might be seen. The eyes were wrong but they were beautiful. The teeth were too flat but they were lovely.

"Wwhat do you think, Kar?" Eridan's voice was close, so close and it took Karkat a moment to realize the troll was standing right beside him, leaning down to speak into his pointed ear.

"Um." And that was all he could manage to say. The dark flush that came over his cheeks, nose, neck and ears made Eridan smirk and John blink in surprise.

"Do I look bad?" John asked, glancing down at himself as he tugged on tight black gloves to hid his hands. He thought Eridan had done an alright job but with how Karkat appeared to be unable to breath, John thought he'd been wrong.

"Breathe." Eridan's voice was low and soft in Karkat's ear.

The troll took a deep breath through his nose, his heart hammering against his chest and his hands shaking at his sides. He shoved down every little flushed urge he had and forced himself to move forward. John watched him with wide blue eyes that where much too bright against his grey skin. Karkat tucked his hands behind his back in fear of reaching out to touch his moirail to confirm that this was _real_. He peered up into the others face, his eyes scanning over that sharp jaw line, those thin lips and those black framed glasses.

"You're still a dork." Karkat finally managed to speak, his voice even and a smirk curling to his lips.

The grin that came over John's face made Karkat's heart thump. "Do I pass?"

"Yeah. You pass." He patted John's arm over the cloak before he glanced at Eridan. "Good job." The smirk that curled over thin purple lips made Karkat's stomach twist up in all sorts of ways. _He knew._ Of course Eridan knew. Karkat took a deep breath as he quickly turned away from the seadweller to snatch up his own cloak.

"He makes quite the attractive troll." Eridan spoke, the smirk evident in his voice. "Don't you think so, Kar?"

"Yeah yeah." He waved a hand in the air before he tugged on his cloak, pulling up the hood over his head. It was the only cloak he had that had holes cut out specifically for his horns, thanks to Kanaya. "Let's get out of here." He snatched up the satchel he had packed earlier and tossed it over his shoulder before disappearing out the door.

"Huh. He didn't seem impressed at all." John commented as he latched his satchel and tugged it over his shoulder.

Eridan just gave a soft laugh as he wrapped his scarf around his neck, covering his gills. "You are both so oblivious it's nearly pathetic." There was a faint purple flush over his fins as he slipped on his cloak, buttoning it up to cover his body, his horns poking out of the hood. "So flushed it's not evven funny anymore." There was a hint of humor in his voice as he made to follow Karkat out of the cabin.

John was left confused but he quickly snuffed out the fire with a flick of his wrist before he followed after the two trolls. Maybe there was something to say about the red flush over Karkat's face but John didn't want to get his hopes up too much.

* * *

Keeping up with Eridan and Karkat was a harder task than John had first assumed. He'd kept up with Karkat before but apparently, the troll was being lenient with him. Flying was in no way exhausting to the hero, considering the wind did all the work but he was still surprised by how fast the trolls could be. He wondered how fast Karkat could go if pushed to his limit. He didn't want to find out, but he was curious. The strange paint Eridan had used on John's face wasn't permanent but he'd been warned it would be a bitch to take off, so John wasn't too worried about it. All he cared about was pulling off being a troll long enough for them to accomplish what they set out to do.

Alternia wasn't what John had expected. Really, he didn't know what to expect but he had not expected a land so similar to Albion that one would confuse it for such. He flew above the trees with Karkat and Eridan beneath him. They were moving fast so he didn't have much time to appreciate the land but two things stood out to him. It was colder and darker in Alternia.

As they neared the two, John could see it in the distance. It looked much like any other village but when Karkat called to him he quickly swooped down to the ground. They paused a good deal outside of the village and the sun was just beginning to set. As John planted his feet to the ground, he noticed the way Karkat looked him over before quickly glancing away. Before John could ask if something was wrong, Eridan spoke up.

"Prospit is small and there shouldn't be any drones roaming about. If there are, they should be feww in number. I need you to stick close to us, John. As close as you can because if anyone catches your human scent, all hell is going to break lose." His voice was even, his eyes narrowed and his lips pulled over his fangs in a tense snarl. "Kar, rub against him." Eridan flicked his hand between the two in a demanding tone that made John perk a brow. That tone was odd coming from the troll but technically, Eridan was a prince. Perhaps he had been raised in some proper way after all.

"The fuck should I do that for?" Karkat snapped suddenly, his shoulders tense, his eyes dark and his lips a snarl.

Eridan just blinked at him before snapping his fingers. "If you don't hurry we'll be late."

"Karkat?" John questioned softly as he approached the tense troll with a worried expression. Those crimson eyes snapped to him and for a moment, John thought the troll would attack him. He was so tense and defensive. After a moment of consideration, John realized why. "No, Karkat." He began, his voice soft as he slowly approached the troll, his hand out to him in a comforting gesture. "They want to see you."

At his words, Karkat let out a hiss and quickly looked away. "Shut up."

"No, Come here." The demand was a soft whisper.

Karkat rolled his tongue around in his mouth for a few seconds before he gave up and entered those welcoming arms, letting out a faint sigh of relief when they wrapped around his body tightly. The tense in his body started to melt away and he could finally breath again. How John had known, Karkat was unsure. But it only proved how much this human was meant to be with him. John could read him better than anyone else. Better than even Eridan apparently.

Of course Karkat was terrified. He was deep into the land he had left twenty sweeps ago in fear of his life. He was going to be around other trolls that he did not know and then meet up with trolls who were once his friends. He wasn't positive enough to actually believe the words Kanaya and Eridan spoke to him. It wasn't possible for every single one of their friends to accept Karkat for the disgusting mutant that he was. It just didn't seem possible to Karkat; no matter what Eridan and Kanaya said. He was scared and he was nervous and he was pretty damn sure the venison they had for lunch was going to come back up in the very near future.

"I'm here." John spoke softly as he rubbed his hands over Karkat's back, his chin resting atop the others head. "I know I don't know the trolls we're going to meet but I'm pretty sure Eridan wouldn't bring us into a place that wasn't safe. Kanaya said they missed you. I don't think she would lie to you. And even if it does turn bad," He pulled away and tucked his knuckles under Karkat's chin to lift the troll's head so their eyes could meet, "I'm here."

There was little hesitation when Karkat leaned up to press their lips together. The kiss was soft, but held so much emotion behind it that John found his head reeling. The warmth of Karkat's breath as he released a sigh between them sent a shiver along his spine and he leaned into the troll a bit more. Karkat pulled their lips apart, his eyes glowing as he searched beautiful blue. There was so much warmth and honest in those eyes. Karkat wondered how he could ever manage without him.

"You're both so cute it's making me nauseous." Eridan crinkled his nose but there was a teasing smirk tugging at his lips.

Karkat flipped the seadweller off as he planted another kiss to John's lips before pulling away. He felt much too comfortable around his moirail but with how Eridan was watching them, he didn't mind at all. His heart had settled and he felt much better about the whole ordeal. Yes, he was still nervous and fears still clawed at his mind but he pushed them down in favor of those warm blue eyes.

"So, gonna rub against me now?" John's lips curled up into a devious smirk that made grey cheeks flush red. John was lucky the paint covered any amount of flush his skin might have but the heat on his cheeks was still clear to him.

"Ugh, I hate both of you." Karkat grumbled as he suddenly pressed against John's front. The hero's arms went around the troll as Karkat set to work nuzzle his face into John's neck. They agreed the best way to hide John's scent was to overpower it with Karkat's. The clothes he wore already smelled of troll but it did not hurt to be a little extra cautious.

"Of course you do, Kar."

Again, the troll flipped the other off as he slipped his eyes closed and wrapped his arms around John's waist. The hero was still as Karkat set to work rubbing himself over the human's body. John's breath stilled as those clawed hands roamed over the quarter inch of bare skin along his waist. He shivered, closing his eyes and tried his best to calm his racing heart. Karkat kept his eyes closed as he slipped his hands over the tight muscles of John's stomach. The hero was filling out as he grew and Karkat was a bit more appreciative than he was willing to admit. So John looked amazing in those tight form fitting troll pants. So his human bulge could be seen because why the hell wouldn't it be seen? He couldn't hide it inside himself like trolls so the soft black fabric outlined that bulge Karkat had seen countless time and it made him curious as to what it looked like when the human was aroused.

Karkat pulled away suddenly with a flush of heat springing up his body. He'd only been pressed against John for a minute but that was all it took when his mind went in the wrong direction. Wrong, so very wrong. Whether John had noticed the way Karkat's hips had suddenly pressed into him or not, Karkat had and how he was questioning his own sanity as he turned away from the human to rub his hands over his face.

Eridan continued to pretend he was oblivious to his friend's melt down as he approached John to give him a good sniff. "Hm, seems alright. As long as no one gets too close to him and he stays betwween us."

John blinked, glancing down at himself before eyeing Karkat. "Are you okay, Karkat?"

"Fine! I'm bulgeblustering fine!" He snapped suddenly, wincing at the intensity of his voice. The other two stared at him before he turned to them, a scowl on his face. "Can we just go?"

"Of course." Eridan moved swiftly, elegantly, and as he passed Karkat, he gave the troll a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

John was quick to follow, pressing close to Karkat as they followed behind the seadweller. He was confused by the flush on Karkat's cheeks and it gave the hero so much hope that his chest swelled painfully. He wasn't sure he could allow himself to hope. It scared him to hope because he was afraid that hope would lead him down a path that ended tragically. He still planned to tell Karkat how he felt but he was prepared for rejection for the most part. But there were little moments, just the one he just experienced, that filled John with too much hope that he had to smash down.

"Stay close." Karkat's voice was a hiss in his ear and he quickly glanced up as they came to the edge of the forest. His breath caught in his throat and stayed between Karkat and Eridan as they made their way to the gates of the village.

Eridan had called Prospit a small village but to John, it was anything but small. Large white walls seemed to surround the place and from what John had seen when he was in the air, the place was larger than Bowerstone. If Prospit was considered a small town, John could only imagine what a city in Alternia looked like.

The gates were wide open, welcoming any visitors and when John raised his eyes to the tall pillars on either side of the gates, he could see figures wondering about. A lump formed in his throat and he pressed closer to Karkat as they entered the village. The sun had set, casting the rooftops in the glow of a moon and to John, the architecture was not that different from the buildings in Albion. Few trolls wondered about so early in the evening but the one's that did, John found himself gaping at. They were so _different._ The horns, the shapes, the sizes. The hero was at a loss for words.

Warm fingers wrapped around his hand, tugging him back to Karkat's side. He didn't realize he had begun to wonder. He gave his moirail an apologetic smile and received a roll of crimson eyes for it. He kept the smile on his lips but lowered his head enough to that hood and darkness would keep his face hidden for the most part. He kept his eyes on the ground before them, every so often glancing over to the warm fingers wrapped around his own and that beautiful face. Did Karkat realize how beautiful he was? John couldn't help but wonder how Karkat never had a flushed relationship before. He found it hard to believe actually. How could someone _not_ want to kiss those full lips or hug that full lithe body? How could anyone not find Karkat gorgeous? John couldn't fathom it. Not in a million years.

"Wwe're a bit early." Eridan spoke softly, his arm pressed against John's. "But I doubt they'll mind." His cool fingers wrapped around John's wrist and suddenly, they were pulled down an ally by Eridan. Karkat's fingers were tight in his hand as they followed behind Eridan, shuffling through the snow coated alleyways. Eridan stopped suddenly, pushing John back against the wall of a building with his arm just as a large, strange looking creature passed the mouth of the ally. Karkat let out the softest hiss as he pressed closer to John's side but all the hero could do was stare in awe until the thing was gone.

"W-What was that?" The hero managed to mumbled breathlessly.

"Drone." Eridan's tone was flat as he poked his head from the mouth of the ally to watch the large creature disappear around a corner. "Bastards really."

"It... It was huge. Like an earth troll. Was it an earth troll?" John asked, his eyes wide as he glanced down to Karkat. The thing was neatly identical to Albion's Earth Trolls except the thing could walk.

"Hell if I know. They showed up when that asshole took the throne and made everyone's lives a living hell." Karkat's answer was a hiss, mixed with a few clicks that sounded Alternian.

"Let's move." Eridan whispered harshly, his claws tight around John's wrist as they started moving once again.

They moved quicker this time, turning through alleyways and avoiding any trolls that may have been about so early in the evening. John lost track of how many turns they look and he was sure there was no way he'd be able to find his way back to the entrance from memory. By the time they finally came to a stop in front of what looked to be a tavern, John was beyond lost. There was the silhouette of a horse head on the sign hanging on the side of the building but that was all John saw before Eridan dragged the two of them inside.

The tavern was empty save for one troll. Eridan released John finally, leaving the two at the door as he approached the large male busying himself behind the bar. Blue eyes bounced around the tavern before landing on the large troll who turned around when Eridan approached. He was tall, probably a foot or two taller than John and very well built. John was sure the troll could bench press a horse; maybe two. His skin was as grey as any other troll's and his hair just as black. It was long, coming down in straight curtains around his thick face. His nose was sharp, his lips full and his eyes hidden behind black lensed goggles. His horns were tall and on came to a point that reminded John of Kanaya's but his other horn appeared as if it had been broken off.

"Ampora." The troll greeted in a deep voice, his thick arms crossing over his chest. He wore no shirt which didn't seem to both Eridan at all as he leaned against the edge of the bar.

"Zahhak." Eridan responded, waving a hand in the air as he removed the hood from his head.

"You're early." He grunted in response.

"Wwe came from Albion." Eridan stood up straight and turned toward the two by the door. He motioned for them to come closer and John felt his heart sink a little at the way Karkat practically hid behind him. "Brought Kar."

"Vantas." Dark eyebrows shot up as the troll lifted his dark goggles to peer at John. The male was stuck still with how _blue_ those eyes were. "That's not Vantas."

"Kar, stop bein' shy."

With a deep breath, Karkat stepped out from behind John, tugging the hood down from his head so the large troll could get a good look at him. With his hand still wrapped around John's, Karkat made his way toward the bar, a fierce determined expression on his face. Blue set in yellow took their time in looking Karkat over to the point that John felt uncomfortable. "Hello Equius." Karkat spoke softly, his grip on John's hand tight as they stood beside Eridan.

"Seems I owe Captor twelve boons." Equius lowered his goggles back down, covering his eyes once more. "We did not expect you to show."

"Yeah, well, I'm fucking here. Sure don't need my pathetic little ass but here I am, like I motherfucking promised." Karkat's words were hisses and filled with more venom than John had ever heard before in his life.

Equius only quirked a brow. "You're Vantas, alright."

"Course I am! What the fuck did you expect? A different piece of solid waste that may or may not be of any help whatsoever to this bloodbath?"

"Karkitty?!"

"Shit." The utter look of horror that came over Karkat's face made John's blood run cold. Eridan only smirked and moved away from the bar as Equius turned his attention to the figure standing in the doorway near the back of the open tavern.

"Karkitty!" The squeal made John wince and before he had a chance to stop it, Karkat was tore from his hold as he was pounced on. The hero stood in shock at the blur of green and blue covering his moirail. He didn't take notice to how Equius was giving him a good once over or the way Eridan laughed behind his hand.

"For fuck's sake, Nepeta, get the hell off me or so help me-"

"You came!" The troll suddenly cut him off, sitting up as she straddled Karkat's waist. She was pretty, with a round face and a cute little nose covered in freckles that crinkled when she smiled. Her horns were small and round but pointed at the tip. They were larger than Karkat's but not by much. Her eyes were the purest color of green as she grinned down at Karkat, her claws clutching the front of his black sweater. Her black hair came to her chin; short, thick and choppy.

"Yes, I came. Why is that so grubshitting surprising? I swear to taintshit-"

Karkat was cut off once again when Nepeta squealed and mushed his cheeks between her hands only to plant a kiss to his lips. John went so tense he thought he'd fall over. The kiss ended as quickly as it had begun but left Karkat with very flushed cheeks as he blinked up at the ceiling.

"Every one's going to be sooooo happy to see you." She practically purred as she got to her feet, grabbing his hands to pull him up. Considering she was a head shorter than him, it was surprising how strong she actually was. She patted one of his flushed cheeks, a smile on her lips as she gazed up at him. "I was so surprrrrised when Eridan told us you were coming. It's been so long, Karkitty." She gathered his hands up in her own and nuzzled her face against them. "We've all missed you."

If it was not for the fact that she was being so affectionate, John would have felt his heart warm at her words. Really, he was happy Karkat was being greeted with kindness but what bothered him was why she was so... affectionate. But then he thought of Roxy, and how she was, and then John didn't feel so bad anymore. A smile came to his lips when crimson eyes glanced to him and he gave an encouraging nod.

"Thanks." Karkat managed to mumbled before pulling his hands away from her.

"So who is this fellow?" Equius spoke up, motioning to John with a wave of his hand.

Nepeta perked up and turned her attention to John. Her head tilted from side to side for a few seconds before she approached him. Her nose crinkled as she took a good wiff of John and the green flush that came to her cheeks was surprising. "You smell like Karkitty. Why do you smell so much like Karkitty?"

"First, for fuck's sake, please stop calling me that." Karkat grumbled as he came up beside John, ignoring the grin Eridan had plastered on his face. "Second, this is John, My moirail. John, this is-"

"Meowrail?!" Nepeta gasped, her eyes suddenly sparkling to life as she quickly grabbed John's gloved hand and brought it to her face. "Meowrail." She mumbled, nuzzling her face against the back of his hand for only a moment before she dropped it. "It's nice to meet you!" She stood up straight once again, a grin on her face that made John smile in return.

Karkat released a sigh. "John, This is Nepeta and that's Equius." He waved a hand back at the troll behind the bar. "They're moirails."

"Um." John smiled, nodding his head at the eager girl before him. "It's nice to meet you too."

"Is he here to help or for moirail support?" Equius questioned as he moved out from behind the bar.

"Help." John spoke up as his hand slipped down Karkat's arm till their hands could find one another. "Both really."

"Cute." Nepeta spoke softly, glancing between the two of them. "I need to consult the wall. Equi when will everyone be here?" She asked, turning her attention to her moirail.

"Within the hour."

"Right. You get everything ready. I have something I must attend to." And with a smirk sent John's way she quickly went off back through the door she had come from.

"You shut your whore mouth." Karkat hissed, pointing a clawed finger at Eridan.

The seadweller did his best to contain his laughter but it was hard to do so. The grin on his face was so large it reminded John of what Adairis looked like when he got over excited.

"Karkat." John spoke softly, leaning down to plant his lips against silky raven hair. The troll grunted in response but leaned into the warmth of his moirail.

"We should move into the back. The others should arrive shortly." Equius stated before he moved through the door Nepeta had disappeared through. The other three followed behind, down a long hallway before coming to a stop at the end of the hallway. For a moment, John wondered what they were going to do but Equius grabbed onto a seemingly invisible handle and tugged open a hidden door at the end of the hallway. He moved out of the way and motioned for the other to make their way down the set of stairs. "Go on ahead. I'll return in a moment."

Eridan glanced back at the other two before moving forward. The stairway was dark and John had to be careful as he followed behind Eridan with Karkat at his back. The stairs seemed endless for a few minutes before they finally came toward a light. The light came from a few well lit lamps settled around a large round room that they entered. Settled in the middle of the room was a large round table with chairs all around it. It looked like a war room and for a moment, John wondered if that was exactly what it was. They were about to discuss taking over a kingdom. That sure sounded like war.

The seriousness of the situation settled over John suddenly and left like a rock in the pit of his stomach. Eridan was calm as he removed his cloak, swinging it around to tuck against his chest before he picked a seat. With a glance to Karkat, the two followed along. The room was warm and as Karkat removed his cloak, John wondered if he would even be able to remove his. Karkat tossed his cloak over the back of a chair before he reached up to undo the button of John's cloak. The hero smiled softly, lifting his chin so the troll could tug it open. Karkat was careful as he moved the hood, keeping the horns in place on John's head.

Free of the cloak, John felt better as he rolled his shoulders. Karkat reached out to flatten John's hair and fix his horns and once he was satisfied he pulled out a chair and sat down, leaving a space between him and Eridan for John to sit. By the time John had settled in his seat between Karkat and Eridan Equius came down the stairs with a platter in his hands.

"Oh, Thank fuck Zahhak, you are absolutely lovvely." Eridan stretched his hands out in front of himself like a cat for a moment as Equius placed the tray of strange looking biscuits and some brown liquid down. The troll only grunted in response before he left the room again. Eridan didn't waste his time pouring himself a cup of the steaming brown liquid before leaning back in his seat to sip at it.

"What is it?"

"Coffee." Karkat pointed out, taking his time to pour a cup for himself and for John. "Its strong. And fuck do I need it. I'm tired as hell."

"Strong?"

"It'll keep you awwake for sure." Eridan responded, seemingly in heaven as he sipped his coffee.

"It's made from beans found deep in the darkwood forests. It won't kill you." Karkat pointed out as he held a cup out for John.

The hero eyed it before he took the offered cup, trusting Karkat's judgment. He brought the warm liquid to his lips and after a whiff of the interesting smell, he took a sip. It was strong, a strange taste but it wasn't all that bad. Karkat let out a soft purring sound as he leaned back in seat, the cup between both hand as he tilted it back to take a good long sip. John smiled softly and reached over with his free hand to run it through dark locks.

"Oh you assholes are already here." Sollux walked into the room, tugging the hat off from his head, leaving his hair sticking up in all different places.

"Good to see you too, fuck nibblet." Karkat responded softly, his attention fully on his coffee.

"Ah, I missed those insults." Sollux mumbled as he passed by them, taking the time to ruffle Karkat's hair and knock his knuckles against John's shoulder. "It's too bloody early for this shit." He grumbled, snatching the cup from Eridan's hands as he sat down in the seat beside his Kismesis.

"Rude." Eridan didn't even sound insulted as he grabbed another empty cup to fill with coffee.

They fell into silence after that as they sipped their coffee. Karkat was relaxed into his seat, with one hand wrapped firmly around John's on the table as John tried to focus on anything but those flushed plump lips. Sollux was slumped in his chair, his empty coffee cup on the table as he leaned his head against Eridan's shoulder. The seadweller continued to sip his own coffee but there was something rather intimate about the way his claws trailed over Sollux's arm.

They glanced up when footsteps could be heard coming down the stairs. The elegant young troll who appeared made Karkat sit up straight. He was on his feet before Kanaya even entered the room. Her eyes dancing around the room before quickly landing on Karkat and not a word was said when they met, arms going around one another in a tight hug. John smiled fondly from the table, leaning on his arm. He heard Eridan and Sollux mumbled to one another but he couldn't make out the words.

"John, It's lovely to see you." Kanaya greeted once she and Karkat pulled apart.

John shifted, moving to his feet with a smile. "Nice to see you too, Kanaya."

She nodded at him, smiling when Karkat pulled out the chair beside his for her. She thanked him softly and sat down elegantly. Then John and Karkat returned to their seats before Karkat poured a bit of coffee for Kanaya.

"I heard you went to see Rose." Kanaya spoke softly as she nodded her thanks to Karkat while taking the offered cup.

"Oh, Uh, Yeah." John bit his lower lip, leaning back in his chair.

"She's doing well, I hope?"

"Yes."

"Lovely."

It wasn't long before Nepeta joined them, talking a seat on the opposite side of the table as the others. She wiggled about for a moment before snatching up a biscuit to munch on.

"So, where have you been, Karkitty?" Nepeta started softly, an innocent look on her face as she watched him.

"On the edge of the border." He answered honestly, his hand finding it's way into John's again without even noticing.

She hummed softly. "And how did you two meet?" She motioned between John and Karkat.

"Long story short? Dorkwad here followed me around for a few months before I decided he could stay."

"Hey." John grinned, nudging Karkat with his shoulder. "That's not true."

"Really? I think so. You stuck around no matter how mean I was to you."

Nepeta giggled softly, leaning on the table to watch them with her hands fisted against her cheeks. "You're joining us, John? You're a brave moirail. Since you're human and all."

The two tensed but Eridan let out a sharp laugh. "Kneww wwe wwouldn't fool you, Nep."

"You did at first!" She grinned, leaning back in her seat. "And I'm sure you fooled any random trolls wondering about."

"Wwell, those wwere the ones wwe wwere worried about."

"Oh yeah! Send the blind girl down the stairs with the dork who can barely walk!"

"Jeeze, Terezi, I can walk just fine."

Karkat tensed at the two voices, one lighter than the other and the name sent off sparks of realization in John's head. He gave Karkat's hand a squeeze as he quickly sunk down in his chair, trying to disappear. There were thumps of footsteps before the two who spoke finally entered the room.

John first noticed the one with crazy large horns. They came from the side of his head and went straight out for a good foot before they curled upwards. His hair was short and dark and his eyes a warm brown. He was slightly taller than the troll at his side and though he was lean he was in no way small. The troll John took to be Terezi, because it was obvious she was the female of the two, was actually rather pretty. She was all sharp angles, thin and lithe with short dark hair and pointed red glasses over her white eyes. Her tongue slipped out, lapping at the air before she licked her lips.

"Whose all here?" She questioned, allowing the male troll at her side to lead her to the table. She was blind but she was able. The cane she carried more like a staff knocked against a chair and a smirk came over her lips.

"Hello, Terezi, It's nice to see you." Kanaya spoke softly.

"Hi Terezi!" Nepeta waved even though the woman could not see it.

"Rezi." Eridan greeted and Sollux gave a grunt of acknowledgment. "Kar."

Terezi perked up at that. "Kar? Karkat?" Something about her smirk shifted and for a moment, John felt his heart thump at the look of pure hope on her face.

"Yeah, yeah." Karkat grumbled, getting to his feet as he pulled his hand from John's. "I'm here."

"No fucking way!" She exclaimed suddenly, making the troll at her side wince.

"Shit, Terezi." Karkat hissed softly as he came up to her side. "Good to see you too."

"Can't see, fucker." She reached out, able to slap Karkat's shoulder. But once she touched him, she paused and gripped his bicep. She was a head shorter than him so when she tilted her head back, it appeared as if their eyes met. "It _is_ you." She whispered in disbelief, dropping her cane so she could grab his face between her hands. And then she leaned forward and licked his cheek.

"Ugh, Fuck, Terezi." Karkat grumbled but he made no effort to stop her. "That's so fucking gross."

She grinned when she pulled back, revealing pin sharp teeth. "I knew you always tasted so sweet for a reason!" And then she reeled back and punched his arm. _Hard._ "That's for running away, asshole." Then she grabbed his chin and brought him close till she could plaster her lips against his for only a second. "And that's for coming back." She patted his shoulder and leaned away, using her foot to pick up her cane. "Welcome back, Karkat."

"Um. Yeah." Karkat shook his head at her, happy to find she hadn't changed a bit. Then he glanced back to John who was already on his feet. With one motion, John was at Karkat's side, their hands sliding together. "Terezi, Tavros." Karkat acknowledged the other troll by nodding at him. "This is John. My Moirail."

Tavros' eyes went so wide John thought they might pop out of his skull. Terezi's smirk just grew and she leaned forward to take a sniff of the air. "Oh, getting down and dirty with the human's, huh?"

"Shut up."

"Human?" Tavros glanced between Karkat and John before giving John a good once over. "Really?"

"Hero actually." Eridan called from the table, his focus still on the troll leaning against his side.

"Hero?!" Nepeta jumped up, her eyes wide.

"Uh, Yeah." John finally spoke, smiling awkwardly at the girl who couldn't see him. "I'm a hero. It's nice to meet you Terezi and Tavros."

Terezi reached forward suddenly, grabbing John's chin between her claws and brought him down so she could lick his cheek. "You have great taste, Karkat!"

"Yeah, lick my moirail. Like this isn't already fucking crazy, have my sorta possible ex lick my moirail. Fucking wonderful." Karkat threw his hands up in defeat and left John to Terezi as he moved to sit back down.

"You're such a drama queen." Terezi teased while Tavros moved around the table to sit beside Nepeta. They greeted one another and quickly settled into a conversation.

"I, Um." John glanced between Karkat and Terezi before there was commotion up the stairs.

"Her majesty is here." Terezi suddenly stated before releasing John so should could take her seat beside Tavros.

John blinked, gritting his teeth as he moved to followed Karkat back to their seats. Once he sat back down, Karkat's warm hand was wrapped up in his again. It was comforting and when their eyes met there was a tender smile on John's lips that made Karkat's heart fill with warmth.

Equius entered the room, nodding his head at Tavros as he moved to sit on the other side of Nepeta. Then, a beautiful young troll entered followed by another equally beautiful troll. The first was large around the hips with long flowing puffy dark hair and a round beautiful face. Her eyes were a dark red, not like Karkat, too dull to be like Karkat's, but still beautiful. The troll behind her had long flowing wavy hair, pulled back into a tail at her neck. She had fins like Eridan and gills along her neck. John immediate recognized her as Feferi. The true heir to the Alternian throne. Her eyes were a color he had never seen before. A mix between purple and pink, but beautiful all the same.

Feferi took a moment to tug out the band holding her hair back before she glanced up. A warm expression crossed her face as those eyes danced over each troll. They lingered on Karkat and for a moment, It looked like she might cry. But the girl at her side patted her shoulder before taking a seat beside Kanaya, leaving three empty spaces at the table. Feferi swallowed hard, her fins flapping for only a moment before she walked around the table to stand at the empty chair next to Sollux. She patted his head, earning his attention as he sat up straight, a yellow blush coming over his cheeks.

"I..." She spoke, her hands resting on the back of her chair as she glanced over everyone. "I don't know what to say. I didn't expect all of you to show."

"Not all." Eridan pointed out, glancing at one of the empty chairs between Tavros and Aradia.

"Vriska is on a very important mission." Feferi spoke softly, her eyes landing on Karkat. "Oh, Kar, You came." In a flurry of fabric she moved across the room just as he moved to his feet. The arms that went around his neck were a surprise but he returned her hug with one arm. "I thought you would not come."

"I made a promise." He assured her, his voice even. "And considering it was this damn shit that made me leave in the first place, I'll be happy to knock that fucker off his throne."

Feferi pulled back with a smile on her face, taking time to pat Karkat's cheeks between her hands. "Yes, we would all love to see that." Her eyes then landed on John. "And your friend?"

John moved to his feet, pushing his chair out of the way so he could greet her properly. "I'm John." He introduced himself, bowing his head as Karkat came to his side, slipping their arms together.

"My moirail. He wishes to help."

"Help? Oh, that's lovely of you." The smile that came to her lips was stunning as she clapped her hands together. "But this is dangerous." She warned. "Especially for a human."

"Hero." Karkat was quick to point out.

Her eyes widened as she glanced between them. "A hero?"

"Yes." John nodded. "I would like to use my abilities to help all of you. I think you have a good cause and I..." He glanced down at Karkat. "I'd like to help create a place that is safe for my moirail."

Feferi laughed softly, nodding her head. "Yes. We all would. You're welcome here, John. I am Feferi, and I greatly appreciate your help." She leaned forward to plant a kiss on his cheek before moving to give Karkat one as well. Then she turned to walk back to her seat while John and Karkat sat back down. "I would like to thank all of you for coming. I can not express how much this means to me. To know... I still have all of you on my side."

"Of course, Feferi." Tavros spoke up, a small sad smile on his lips.

She smiled kindly. "We have must to discuss."

* * *

"Ugh I feel like I fought seven Balverines and nearly lost." John grumbled as he dropped his bag to the floor and flopped down onto Karkat's bed. The troll snorted, kicking the door shut behind them before he quickly moved to the fireplace to start a new fire. John tore off the horns and tossed them to the side before he pulled off his glasses to fold up and tuck away in a safe place. He didn't even feel up to pulling off his clothes. It was cold in the cabin and as he curled up on his side, he felt to comfortable to bother with it.

It didn't take long for Karkat to start a new fire and once that was done. He pulled off his boots and joined John on the bed. John spun around, kicking off his boots as he wrapped Karkat up in his arms. The troll let out a contented sigh as he nuzzled into John's collar bone.

"How long is this shit gonna last?" The troll asked as he tilted his head back, rubbing claws over John's grey cheek.

"Eridan said it would take a few scrubbings to get off so I'm not too worried about it right now."

Karkat crinkled his nose, his eyes narrowing as he leaned forward to plant a kiss against John's jaw. "I like you human more." He mumbled against soft skin.

"R-Really?"

Karkat just hummed, shifting to tuck his head into John's neck. The hero swallowed hard, pulling a blanket over both of them as his heart thumped against his chest. He had to tell Karkat his feelings soon. But he was so warm and happy with the troll in his arms that by the time he thought drifted from his mind, they were both fast asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know, this as the first time I've written most of those trolls. Goodness I hope I did alright. 
> 
> So, John's come to terms with his feelings. Now what? What shall happen next? We have the Valentine's chapter coming up so just think on that for a little bit hehe
> 
> I scanned this as much as I could but my head hurts, so I'm sure there are mistakes. I'll come back and fix them, I promise.
> 
> Thanks for waiting so long for this!
> 
> Please let me know what you thought. Kudos are great but you can only kudo a chapter fic once! So please do comment!
> 
> ~Addy~


	16. Month 9 - February - The Difference between Pale and Red

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been awhile! Sorry for that. I've been really busy working on this collab with a really good friend that you guys should expect eventually. This chapter was harder to write than I expected for a lot of reasons but I'm so very happy with it. 
> 
> Some music for your listening pleasure[Here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LrHyq-sEH2s) and [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyT5jMIaf90) and [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Or-JAkErHvw)
> 
> Enjoy!

_And if tonight ever makes a difference_

_The way that I feel_

_The way that I'll remember this_

_Well we're this young_

_We have nothing to lose_

_Just a clock to beat and a hand to choose._

_Say goodnight_

_Our first goodbye_

_I've only got forever and forever is why_

_Just take your time_

_We'll stop the clock together and know that the timing was right._

* * *

 

The warmth was something Karkat never wanted to lose. John had a specific type of warmth the troll had not found anywhere else. Eridan nor Gamzee ever felt so warm because they were high-bloods and there was something extra special about John's warmth. Perhaps because he was human or perhaps it had more to do with the deep feelings Karkat had for him. He wasn't sure and anytime he thought too hard about it he was left feeling worse than when he began.

John's hands were always warm. Whether they were combing through his tangled mess of dark hair or cupping his cheek for a tender kiss; those hands meant something to Karkat. Something deep and primal. Something he could not explain nor did he wish to. Such a desire was uncommon for him and though it was beneficial for a red relationship it was not helpful for their pale one in any manner. But sometimes, Karkat found his thoughts drifting into how much he really loved the feel of his skin against John's.

The air in the cabin was cool and smelled of burning ash from the fireplace not too far away. The warmth enveloping the troll was a common thing and as he came back to consciousness, his skin tingled where John touched. The room was still dark, telling Karkat the sun had still not risen and for a moment, he tried to remember when the two of them had fallen asleep together. He tried to remember how they ended up in bed and what they were doing previously but his mind was fuzzy and when he peeked open an eye, his breath settled in his throat at the stunning blue eyes staring back at him.

John's arm around the troll's waist tightened, his skin burning against Karkat's as he shifted to plant a gentle kiss into black hair. Karkat let out a faint purr and arched his back, leaning into the human holding him from behind. His head was tilted naturally into John and he thought nothing of it as John's large warm hand started to circle over his bare stomach. Ah, right. He was naked. Not too odd. John felt so warm with their legs pulled together and every part of Karkat's back side touching John in some way. Why was John naked too?

Karkat shifted, rolling his head so he was facing the wall and wiggled his way until his back was pressed fully against John's front. John mumbled something that the troll didn't quite catch as he started to plant soft kisses over a bare grey shoulder. Karkat shifted, moving his foot backwards till it hooked with one of John's and the hand over his stomach slowly started to trail upwards. His skin tingled wherever those warm fingertips touched, moving over his ribs until John could wrap his fingers around Karkat's throat.

The sound the troll made was anything but pale as he tilted his head back with John urging him on till warm lips could press against the curve of his pointed ear. He grunted softly, running his claws up John's arm, over dark arm hair and over his knuckles. He let their hands rest together over his throat as John planted gentle kisses along his ear that sent sparks of warm arousal through his insides. He felt pinned with John's arm over his body, clutching his throat while the other rest innocently under his head.

John didn't say a word as he kissed down Karkat's neck and paused at the junction of his neck and shoulder. His other hand came up, digging into silky black hair and Karkat found himself to be well and truly pinned though he didn't mind in the least. His body felt warm, buzzing with a tingling sensation that he couldn't quite put his finger on. John's lips were wet and soft against his skin and as his hand trailed away from Karkat's neck, he found he really enjoyed how well their bodies fit together.

With one hand curling to clutch at the elbow holding his head still, the other moved to reach behind him and grip John's hip. The angle was awkward but John shifted forward, pressing his groin into Karkat's back side and crimson eyes snapped open in surprise. There was something hard there, something Karkat knew to be John's bulge and it made every nerve in the troll's body spark to life. He shivered, his eyes slipping shut as he pressed his hips back against that hard thing. John let out a faint gasp of air, his fingers tightening in Karkat's hair as he pressed his face into the troll's neck.

Karkat's back arched slightly, his heart picking up in his chest as his claws dug into the soft flesh of John's thigh. A warm hand danced along the skin of his stomach, pressing into sensitive areas that made his body twitch with pleasure. John's lips were wet against the skin of his neck, leaving kisses and the occasional flash of blunt teeth that left Karkat wanting more. Those lips and that hand were driving him nuts and he wanted more. More what, he wasn't sure. Just more.

When John's hand dipped down between Karkat's legs, the troll released an intimate sound that made John press closer. Blunt nails scrapped along the grey flushed skin just above his sheathed bulge and Karkat's entire body flushed with a specific type of warmth. Using the little leverage he had, Karkat pushed his thighs apart, giving John more access to the most intimate part of his body. A place the hero had only seen but never came close to touching and Karkat had no intention of making him stop anytime soon.

Long fingers felt along the folds of grey skin that lead to a red flushed nook that Karkat was ready to give away. John was gentle as his fingers moved along the red slit, nuzzling gently into Karkat's neck until his tongue slipped out and pressed against the troll's pulse. A faint purr came from Karkat as he pressed down into John's fingers, urging him on to just touch. Touch and feel and press inside because Karkat was completely ready for it.

But those fingers moved away to press curiously and gently at the small tapered tip of Karkat's red bulge that was finally deciding it wanted to join the party. It was slick, wet and warm, and as John's gentle fingers felt along the underside of it Karkat let out a lewd pathetic sound that was complete surrender. Claws dug into soft flesh as John worked to get that bulge out of Karkat as much as possible. It didn't take much. A few strokes and Karkat's wiggling, curling bulge escaped and wrapped around long fingers.

" _Fuck."_  Karkat gasped softly, his eyes rolling back in his head at the burning pleasure that flowed from his bulge to spread over his body. John's fingers were skilled and gentle as they stroked him without hesitation. His throat tightened at the vibrations coming from it and the soft moans he released shifted into something darker; something more trollistic that urged John on. Blunt teeth sunk into his shoulder as his claws scrapped along John's thigh, pulling the male closer until that hard, stiff bulge was completely pressed against the seam of his ass.

John didn't do anything with his own bulge. He only focused on the way Karkat's wrapped around his fingers, leaving a warm wet translucent red all over the place. Karkat's body felt hot, his cheeks and ears flushed with arousal as he prided his eyes open to glance down at what was being done to him. His throat tightened and he licked his lips, crimson focusing on the pale hand moving along his bulge in the most perfect way.

He wanted to speak; To call out John's name but his throat was too tight and the sounds being pulled out of him by a skilled hand were all he was capable of making. So, he tilted his head, nuzzling against the bridge of John's nose until the human finally lifted his head. When their lips met it was a clash of tongue and teeth and less lip than it probably should have been. But neither seemed to care. Karkat's hand shifted from John's thigh to dig into short dark hair and  _grip_  pulling him closer with no chance of escape.

Slowly, they came down. Their lips settling together as John's hand moved slowly over Karkat's twisting bulge. Karkat lapped at John's lower lip, pressing closer till he could slip inside and get a good taste of him. John let out a deep moan that made Karkat shiver, tugging on his hair till they were as close as could be. He focused on their lips, sliding together and pressing at different angles. It was sweet and a little romantic if not for the fact that John's hand was slowly sliding away from Karkat's bulge till his fingers could press along the lips of his nook.

Karkat gasped, pulling his lips away from John as his hand slipped from soft hair to brush along a strong jaw. His body twisted enough so he could lift one leg, parting his thighs as an open invitation to the human who was more than willing to take it. Karkat's leg hooked over John's legs, giving the human all the room he needed to run two of his fingers over the wet lips of Karkat's nook. Karkat urged him on with soft purrs and chirps, his claws brushing over John's cheek gently.

Carefully, gently, John pushed past the plump grey skin of Karkat's nook to feel the inside, hot and wet with folds of skin welcoming him in. It was nothing Karkat had felt before. Claws were not something a troll wanted down in that area but John didn't have claws. He had blunt nails with skilled hands that rubbed against his nook like they were made to do so. He let out a gasp, his thighs twitching and his bulge curling desperately against his stomach. He pulled his hand away from John's elbow so he could wrap fingers around his bulge, tugging it and easing its frantic nature.

He didn't notice the rhythmic movement of John's hips until that teasing finger finally slipped inside him. Pleasure sparked along his skin and that warm hard blunt bulge became a noticeable thing, rubbing against his backside and gaining his attention. With a grunt, he pulled his hand away from John's face so he could reach between them and wrap fingers around the warm thick flesh, careful of his claws.

That seemed to spark something inside John.

The hero let out a deep groan from the back of his throat and buried his face in Karkat's neck, his grip on the troll's hair still tight as his finger moved in and out of the troll, rubbing along his inner walls in a way that made Karkat purr with pleasure. Karkat could only handle so much. His bulge writhed in his fingers while John's bulge slipped between his fingers with every jerk of those pale hips. He squeezed both gently, his back tensing and his thighs pulsing as John slipped inside another finger.

" _John_." He managed so say through a tight throat. " _Please. Oh fuck please."_

John lifted his head enough so lust-dark blue could meet glowing crimson. There was something dark in John's expression. Something that Karkat was sure he had seen before but couldn't place it. He didn't have time to analyze over it either. A smirk curled to those kiss plump lips as John's eyes flicked down to Karkat's panting mouth.

" _Please what?"_  His voice was husky with pleasure to the point that it made Karkat moan.

" _Holy mother-grub, John, pail me. Pail me like you were made to do it. Like this was made to pail me senseless."_  He gasped, his eyes slipping shut as he gave John's bulge a good tug, earning a sharp hiss from the hero.

John didn't say any more. He only dipped his head into Karkat's neck to bit down hard and shove his two fingers deeper inside Karkat's nook. The troll let out a surprised yelp, his leg tightening around John's and it took him a moment to notice the abrupt knocking coming from somewhere. John's movements didn't stop, he didn't want them to stop, he wanted so much more. But something tugged him toward that knocking and before he knew it, that knocking was the only thing he could hear.

Crimson eyes snapped open and his head spun at the flush of arousal sparking along his body. He grunted and rubbed at his eyes, hissing as he quickly got to his feet and shoved away the blanket wrapped around his body. He stumbled before he snatched open his cabin door and gave the hero standing on the other side a well deserved glare.

"Morning Karkat!"

"Ugh, why do you bother fucking knocking anymore." He hissed, turning away from John so he could collapse back onto his bed, curling up as he nuzzled into his pillow.

"Cause it's rude not to?" John answered, tilting his head as he shut the door behind him. He tugged off the hat from his head and shook fresh snow off his hero clothes. "Besides, I thought you might still be asleep. And I don't know, it's just really rude to walk in on someone sleeping."

"I'm your moirail." Karkat mumbled, lifting his head to toss John a look.

"Yeah, well, still." The smiling hero gave a shrug before he sat down on the edge of the bed beside Karkat's legs. "You seem grumpy. Sorry, I woke you." He smiled sympathetically as he pat Karkat's back gently.

Karkat rolled his eyes and settled his head back onto the pillow, the remnants of his dream still sparkling along his skin. He could feel the wetness between his legs and he pondered taking a bath. Really, he wished he had a chance to handle the arousal in his body before John showed up but there was nothing he could do about it now.

"Hey Karkat." John mumbled as he leaned down to the troll, his feet dangling off the bed. "You okay?"

"Yeah." One hand snatched out to paw at John's face as he rolled to his side, earning an amused sound from the hero.

"Okay." John moved close, putting their faces close together till all Karkat could see was beautiful crystal blue. "I can stay tonight."

Karkat grunted, lifting his hand to slip claws into slightly damp jet hair. "Yeah? I need a bath." He pointed out, crimson only glancing down once before they met in a soft kiss that left the troll's body tingling. He grit his teeth, hoping that reaction was solely based on his arousal and nothing more. He didn't want to think about what it could mean if that reaction was from something else.

John hummed when he pulled away, licking at his lips. "We could stay at my place then. Casey will want to come over though if she knows you're there."

"That's fine." Karkat shrugged and his hand fell from John's hair so he could sit up.

"Yeah but." John's lips pursed for only a second as he watched Karkat sit up and run claws through his messy hair.

"But what?"

"I want you to myself."

With a perked brow, Karkat looked over John's flushed face before letting out a laugh. "Wow, John."

The hero chuckled as he reached forward to wrap his arms around Karkat's bare shoulders. "Don't 'wow, John' me." He mumbled, pressing his lips to a flushed pointed ear. "You've been playing with Casey in the snow for the past three days. It's my turn."

Karkat snorted, bringing up a hand to pat John's arm soothingly. "You want to play with me John?"

The hero's face flushed about as red as Karkat's blood. "What?"

He chuckled and slipped out of those strong arms so he could stand up. "We going or what? I want that bath pretty soon." He wiggled his hips, feeling the wetness inside and was grateful he slept in pants because the last thing he wanted John to see was his bulge that was halfway out and curling against his hip curiously.

"Yeah, Yeah." John moved to his feet as well before snatching up his hat to stuff back on his head. "Put some warm clothes on and we'll go."

Karkat nodded and moved to toss on one of John's old green sweaters. The sooner he dressed, the sooner he could have a hot bath and feel less likely to jump the next thing that even bothered to look at him in lust. Mainly John. He didn't want to jump John just because he felt aroused. They were moirails, sure, but not  _those_  kind of moirails and Karkat intended to keep it that way.

* * *

As much as John adored his daughter there was a part of him that secretly wished he was able to have more time alone with Karkat. It was selfish and he knew that so it wasn't something he expressed often; if at all. He was happy that two of his important people got along so well. Karkat was great with Casey and Casey adored the troll to the point that she had asked Annabelle if Karkat could be her other daddy. It was heartwarming but still; John enjoyed his alone time with Karkat.

Casey was covered from head to toe and the only amount of skin that could be seen was her cold flushed face. Karkat was bundled the same thanks to John's fear of the troll getting sick again. The only amount of grey skin that could be seen was flushed red thanks to the cold and though Karkat had complained when John bundled him up, the troll did not stop him. A few boys from the village ran about in the snow with Karkat, whose expression was so tender it made John's heart ache.

"Hero!" Casey hopped up to John, her feet dipping into the too deep snow as she reached for the blue clad hero.

John laughed as he reached for her, picking her up effortlessly to rest against his hip. The sun was low in the sky, giving them warmth they needed in the brisk air. "Did you escape the troll?"

Casey giggled in his arms, her eyes bright as she glanced between him and the troll who was still chasing a few boys. "Can we build a snowman?"

"Sure we can." He put her back onto her feet so she could run off to gather the snow for their snowman.

"Karkat! We're gonna build a snowman!" Casey called to the troll who paused at the call of his name.

"We wanna help too!" One of the boys called and the group of four ran over to Casey to help her start rolling up a ball.

Karkat was panting softly when he stepped up to John, rubbing at his red nose with the back of his mitten. "How are they not freezing yet?"

"They're kids." John shrugged, reaching forward to tug at Karkat's hat, making sure it was still in place. "Are you freezing?"

"I'm fine. It gets colder than this in Alternia." He leaned into John, his eyes on the children as he allowed his moirail to pamper him.

John's cool fingertips brushed over a flushed grey cheek before he leaned forward to plant a soft kiss there. "You're really good with them."

"What did you expect?" Karkat shrugged, his crimson eyes shifting to meet John's crystal blue.

He shrugged, letting his hand rest over the small of Karkat's back. "Want to help them?"

"Casey!" Annabelle suddenly called, her head popping out of the house they were all playing outside of. "It's time to clean up for dinner!"

"Aww." Casey whined with a chorus from the boys around her. "Okay!" She gave each boy a pat on the head as a goodbye before running up to the two men standing near her home. "Dinner time! Are you coming?"

John glanced at Karkat before shaking his head. "I'm going to take Karkat and get him all warmed up." He smiled as he leaned down to pick her up. "But we'll see you tomorrow, Okay?"

"Okay!" She giggled, planting a kiss to John's cheek before reaching for Karkat who took her without a second thought. "Be good." She patted the palms over her mittens over Karkat's cheeks with a grin on her face.

"You too, you little monster." He teased, crinkling his nose as he nuzzled into her cheek.

Casey let out a squeal of happiness as she papped Karkat's cheeks before the troll finally put her back on her feet. She bid them both goodbye before she ran off to her mother waiting for her. They watched the two disappear into the house with a warm feeling in their chests. The group of boys grumbled about before they decided to head home as well. The sun would set soon and the air was turning cooler already.

"How exactly are you planning on warming me up?" Karkat pondered, turning back toward John's cabin with the hero trailing along beside him.

John slipped an arm around the troll's shoulder, tucking him close against his side as they walked down the sloped snow-covered path. "I was thinking a change of clothes and some hot chocolate."

Karkat's ears twitched under the green wool cap he wore. "Hot chocolate?"

He chuckled and leaned close to nuzzle into the side of the troll's head. "Yeah. Maybe a warm bath?"

The troll hummed, leaning into the hero. "My toes are freezing. One of those snot-nosed boys stuffed snow down my pants." He hissed through his fangs as he wrapped his arms around his chest. "Little fucker, I should have kicked him."

John snorted softly. "Well, It's a good thing you didn't. A warm bath it is then."

When they reached John's cottage, Karkat was quick to enter and stand near the fire, pulling off his snow-damp clothes as John shut the door behind them, locking out the cold. John moved to start warming up some water on the stove for their bath as Karkat stripped down to his under clothes of a simple shirt and pants. He draped his wet clothes over the back of a chair near the fire so they would dry before he planted his bum on the floor in front of the fire.

By the time the tub was full of hot water and John was busy removing his damp clothes, Karkat felt warm enough from sitting in front of the fire. But he had no intention of turning down a warm bath with John. They were special times for the moirails and Karkat treasured them. He moved away from the fire and wasted no time in dropping his clothes till he was naked. The cottage was toasty warm thanks to the fire and John's magic floating in the air, circulating the warmth throughout.

"You first." Karkat mumbled, sitting down on the edge of the cool tub, his claws scrapping against it gently.

John stumbled over a boot that refused to come off before he removed his pants and underwear, piling them on top of Karkat's discarded clothes. Naked as the day he was born, John strolled over to Karkat and dipped his hand into the water, testing it. Steam rolled off the surface of the water and with a heave, John slipped into the water, sitting down till the water came up to his ribs. Karkat followed after him, splashing a bit of water as he twisted to sit between John's spread legs. It was a common position for them and even the occasional brush of John's bulge against his lower back didn't stir him the least.

The water warmed every part of Karkat's body, from his toes to his ears, the steam caressing his flushed skin. He leaned back into John's open arms, brushing water over their skin in a leisurely manner. John tucked his chin into Karkat's neck, slipping his arms around that lithe waist to pull the troll closer.

"Valentine's Day is coming up." John stated, trying to sound nonchalant even though his heart was pounding in his chest.

"What's that?" The troll perked a brow as he shifted to bring his knees up, running his claws over his grey skin. There was no need to wash. The steaming water was more to warm them both up instead of to clean up. They both had a bath the day before after all. So there was no rush as they relaxed in the tub after a long day of playing in the cold with Casey.

"It's a holiday."

"Another one?" Karkat crinkled his nose, tilting his head back against John's shoulder as he tinkled water over them from the tips of his claws. "You humans have so many pointless celebrations."

John snorted, nuzzling into Karkat's hair, feeling the tips of it curling with the steam. "I wouldn't say it's pointless, Karkat."

"What's it for?"

"Well... Valentine's day is a celebration of love."

The troll paused in trickling warm water over his shoulder before twisting enough to look John in the eye. "What kind of love?"

"All love." John smiled softly, pecking a grey cheek. "Romantic love or family love. All kinds of love. Just a celebration of loving one another on a special day."

"That's pointless." Karkat snorted, turning back around so he could rest against John's chest. "When you love someone, you show it everyday. Not just one day a year."

"Well, Yeah. But remember how I told you during these cold winter months, people need something to look forward to? This is that. The cold and the snow are worse around now before spring finally breaks free. Besides," He shrugged as he squeezed Karkat, "It's nice to do something fun like that."

"If you say so."

John watched as Karkat continued to trickle warm water over their exposed arms and shoulders. He let out a chuckle when the troll reached back to trickle water over John's hair. "Hey Karkat?"

"Hm?"

"I have a question."

"Uh-Huh?"

"How do you feel about the red quadrant?"

Karkat was quiet for a moment before he shifted to look at John over his shoulder. "Why are you asking?"

"I don't know. I'm just curious. It's not something we've ever talked about and I've just been wondering if you... Well, have you ever filled that quadrant with someone?" His tone was innocent enough even though his heart was pounding hard on his chest.

The troll narrowed his eyes as he settled back against John and focused on his hands under the water. "No, I haven't. I've honestly never even tried." He took a deep breath before he continued. "It's not something I ever saw for myself. Never thought another troll would feel that way about me. They either hate me outright or feel some strong amount of pale pity for me that's just sickening at times."

"Eridan..." John chewed his lower lip. "He mentioned Terezi?"

"What did he say?"

"Just that you two had a thing? He wasn't really specific."

Karkat let out a heavy sigh through his nostrils. "Terezi and I did not have a thing. We could have had a thing. Maybe. Possibly. But I learned a long time ago that I work differently than most trolls and she didn't have the patience to deal with that." His lips curled over his fangs as he clawed gently at his thighs. "She turned to Gamzee instead for whatever I couldn't give her."

John perked a brow. "She... Looked really happy to um, taste you."

"That was way before I left Alternia. So it's been a long time. I never faulted her for what she did."

"I guess I can understand that. But if you had feelings for her, didn't it hurt?"

"My feelings for her..." Karkat let out a sigh as he slumped, thunking his head against John's shoulder. "They were red sure, but I knew I wouldn't be a good enough red lover for her. She turned to Gamzee for black. Because no matter what, I wasn't going to give her what she wanted. I couldn't."

"I... I don't understand."

Karkat snorted softly. "I'm a mutant, John."

"I know that? That doesn't explain why you couldn't give her what she wanted."

"Everything about me is red, John. I already told you that shit."

"Like your blood and bodily fluids? Yeah, I know that. What I don't understand is... Oh right." He blinked in surprise. "No one knew back then."

"Ex-fucking-actly. Well, Okay not no one." He sighed, lifting his hand in the air to wave it, dripping water.

"What do you mean 'not no one'? I thought you kept it hidden and no one knew until that incident with Gamzee?"

"Sort of?" Karkat groaned and closed his eyes, his hand dropping back in the water. "Sollux knew."

"What?" John gasped in surprise.

"He never  _said_ he knew. But he knew. He had to."

"I'm lost."

"I slept with him."

John's eyes widened and his head reeled back like he'd been slapped. "You  _what_?"

Karkat grit his fangs as he glanced at John. "Don't give me that look."

"No, I, Um." John shook his head the best he could with Karkat's head pressed close to his. "I just, I didn't know that. I thought you said you didn't have a red relationship with anyone. Was... it black?"

"Hell no." Karkat snorted softly. "He and Eridan have been black since before any of us came of age."

"Then...?"

"It's only natural to feel sexual urges, John. I don't know about you useless humans, but sex is a big thing to trolls."

"Well, I mean... Yeah? Humans too I guess. I wouldn't really know."

Karkat perked a brow, his eyes focusing on the flush of those cheeks and the way John avoided his eyes. "Oh."

"Yeah."

Karkat bit into his lower lip before he nuzzled closer into John's neck and shifted to place his hand over John's under the water, resting against the troll's stomach. "We were never red, if that's what you're thinking. You can do those things with someone you don't have feelings for. It's just... about getting off really. That's what it was for us. I told you, I'm a mutant. I'm different. Even if it were red..." Karkat let out a soft sigh, his warm breath cascading over John's flushed cheek. "I'm really fucked up, John."

"What... What do you mean? You're not fucked up, Karkat. Just cause you're different doesn't mean you're broken." He spoke quickly and softly as he squeezed the troll closer. "I like you just the way you are."

"You're a human. Of course you think that way." He mumbled, his lips ghosting over the skin of John's damp neck.

"Yeah well maybe you need a human's perspective sometimes. I am your moirail after all."

"You are." Karkat nodded in agreement, his eyes shutting as he relaxed against his moirail.

"Mhm. So tell me what you mean. If it were really red, then what?"

"Then I wouldn't have slept with him."

John perked a brow. "Why?"

"Because I didn't feel that way about him."

"What?" The hero furrowed his brow in confusion, glancing at the relaxed face beside him. "But you if you were red with him, then you would feel red for him?"

"Not me."

"I don't... Karkat I don't understand. Isn't red all about love and pity?"

"It's more than that, John but I'm glad to see you've actually fucking paid attention to me."

"Then, please, explain it to me. What is the red quadrant  _to you?"_

"Feeling red for someone..." Karkat mused softly, his claws trailing over John's arm slowly under the water. "I don't know. I've never felt it. Not the way it's supposed to anyway. Red is about pity and sexual attraction. You want to be with that person. You want to take care of them but also let them be themselves and see their strengths. But you also want to fill a pail with them and only them. You crave them." His claws dug into the hero's skin at his words making John gasp softly. "You desire them so desperately that once they touch you, it's all you feel you could want again."

John nodded, swallowing hard. "Uh-Huh, that sounds like love." His voice was barely above a whisper.

"I don't feel sexual attraction." Karkat admitted with a scrap of his claws over the back of John's hand.

"You don't?"

"I'm broken."

"That... That doesn't make you broken." John swallowed, tilting his head to nuzzle into the mop of damp black hair on his shoulder.

"To trolls, it does. Be it black, red, or whatever, I've never actually felt that type of attraction for a person."

"But you... with Sollux?"

Crimson eyes peered open, taking in the flush on the hero's cheeks. "You ever feel that urge to do sexual things, John? It's an urge but it's not directed at a certain person? That's having a sex drive. That, I do have. But when you start to feel that way because you want to do those types of things to a specific person, that is sexual attraction. I don't have that. Well, Maybe I do. I don't know. So far, I'm pretty sure I don't. Eridan used to say maybe I needed to have some deep bond with someone before I felt that way but I don't know yet. Haven't formed that deep of a bond with anyone aside from... You."

John blinked in surprise, glancing to meet those sparkling eyes. "Yeah?"

"I don't feel sexual attraction for you, John. We're pale."

The hero shoved down the rush of disappointment that came over him. "Right. Sex isn't a pale thing, huh?"

"Typically, no."

"So... You're not looking for a red relationship?"

"I don't think I can ever  _have_ a red relationship."

"Why not?"

Karkat let out a soft sigh as his eyes slid shut once more. "Trolls thrive on their relationships. Aside from the fact that I'm mutant and would get anyone in my quadrants killed for that, I am not capable of giving my mate what they desire. There is a difference between just sex and sex with feelings. I imagine it's not a pleasant feeling to pail someone who doesn't share your desires. Red has never been an option for me because I'm a mutant. It's something I accepted a long time ago."

"But... I mean, Karkat... You really love that romantic stuff."

"So?"

"So, wouldn't you... like to feel it?"

"There is a difference between wanting to feel it and knowing I never will."

John pursed his lips. "You really shouldn't count that out."

"It's not like anyone's really felt red for me anyway. Terezi was probably the only one and that was brief."

"What about humans?"

Crimson eyes snapped open and Karkat lifted his head to give John a confused look. "What the hell do you mean?"

"It's not like trolls are your only options."

"I swear to fuck if you're coming on to me red I will rip out your tongue." Karkat hissed, his heart pounding and his cheeks flushing. There was a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach and though it wasn't unpleasant it still made him feel uncomfortable.

There was a flash of hurt that crossed the hero's expression and left Karkat with a tight, dry throat. "I wasn't saying that... I was just trying to give you a little more hope. But, yeah, I get it. We're pale and that's never going to change. I  _know_."

Something about John's tone made Karkat's chest constrict and he had the sudden urge to kiss him. So he twisted around, one hand sliding over a flushed cheek to tilt the hero's head toward him till their lips could press together. "Don't say that like it's such a horrible thing." He mumbled against John's lips, tingles sparking from way they brushed together.

"It's not." John inhaled, tilting his head a bit more so their lips fit together better. His heart pounded hard in his chest, a warm tight feeling. "I'm lucky to have you in anyway you see fit, Karkat."

"Shut up." He hushed the other, tapping a flushed cheek with two fingers. "I'm the lucky one, numbnuts."

John smiled against Karkat's mouth as he pressed closer, sealing their lips together. His heart swelled and though there was a little pain there, it was overcome with the warmth of Karkat's soft lips and gentle fingers against his face. There was no doubt in the hero's mind that he had to tell Karkat how he felt. Whether things worked out or not, Karkat deserved to know. Besides, John wasn't really sure how much longer he could keep it from the troll. He knew he was obvious enough as it was and part of him thought Karkat was already aware. And maybe the troll was. But John had to tell him because keeping his feelings in would only result in him bursting them out at the wrong time and he sure didn't want to hurt Karkat more than he already probably would.

The soft swipe of a tongue caught Karkat off guard but his lips parted anyway, welcoming in John's curious but gentle tongue. His body flushed with warmth and it took him a moment to realize why as their tongues met in a languid manner. John meant more to Karkat than the troll was willing to admit. He'd come to desire John's company more than any other for the simple fact that he could felt comfortable around him. John was his moirail for a reason. He could open up to the hero without fear of judgment or remorse. That was important. So very important.

"You promised me hot chocolate." Karkat mumbled softly as they parted for breath, his eyes half-lidded with something John had never seen before.

"I did."

Claws trailed into damp strands of hair as he pulled John down for another kiss as if they had all the time in the world for hot chocolate. And really, they did.

* * *

John loved the time he spent with Karkat more than anything but he still had so many unanswered questions. Karkat had threatened to hurt him if he was coming onto the troll red and though that was not John's intention at the time, he had to admit that being with Karkat in a red way was quite pleasing to his senses. Karkat had explained to him time and time again what a red relationship was like for a troll and it just left the hero even more confused. If being red meant sexual for Karkat than John wasn't sure what to do.

Of course John had those types of feelings for Karkat. It wasn't something he was unaware of. It started long ago when Karkat first pinned him down to the ground and it only grew from there. But John never pushed it because he was aware how red that was. But Karkat had done those things with someone that he wasn't red for? It confused John more than he would like to admit. He didn't mind Karkat's sexual past. It was a little uncomfortable that John had met Sollux without the knowledge that the troll had been with his moirail but in the end, John knew it was really none of his business. Even if he wanted it to be.

And that was the whole problem. John wanted it to be his business. He wanted Karkat. And not just sexually. Sure, he wanted their little kisses to go a bit farther sometimes but he was never too upset when Karkat pulled away. Touching and kissing were just a regular thing for them and John accepted whatever Karkat was willing to give him. But John knew the difference between wanting to be friends and wanting to be more.

Part of him questioned why he couldn't just be happy with the way things were. He adored Karkat and cherished their relationship. He hated to do anything that may compromise it and his deep feelings could do just that. But because he respected Karkat, he felt the troll deserved to know the feelings John harbored for him. It was only fair and every person he spoke to about it insisted he tell Karkat. He felt it was strange that the one thing he really needed a moirail for, involved said moirail thus he couldn't talk to him about it.

John let out a frustrated growl that made the older woman to his left jump in surprise. He hardly noticed the strange look she gave him before scurrying off to another stand. The young male running the stand John stood in front of only gave the hero a tentative smile as John continued to looking through his wares.

It was barely midday and even with the sun shining in the sky, the air was cool with freshly fallen snow from the night before covering Oakfield. It was a special day that John was too lost in his thoughts to notice too much. Of course, he was planning to do something about it, especially for Casey but Karkat filled most of his thoughts. The troll was on his mind even as he searched for a present to give his daughter.

"If I may?" The young villager spoke softly, leaning to the side as he picked up a teddy bear to show the hero. "Most little girls would love one."

"She already has one." John answered, his mind somewhere else for the time being. "Thank you though."

The young man nodded, putting the bear back down. "Perhaps something different than? Like," he picked up one of the wooden swords, "This."

Blue eyes lit up as he took the toy from the man to look it over. The wood was soft to the touch and sanded down to the point that a child would not have to worry about splinters. It was perfect. Casey wanted to be a hero like him and he wouldn't mind teaching his daughter how to defend herself. It was only a toy but it was a start. "I'll take it."

"Great!"

With his present in hand, John stopped his cabin to pick up a few more things before heading for Annabelle's. He wasn't surprised to see Casey running around in the snow as he came up the hill. The little girl brought a bright smile to his face and helped clear his clouded mind. He noticed Annabelle sitting on a small bench against her home, her eyes fixed on Casey while she was busy knitting another scarf for the little girl. Pink and white from what John could see.

"Hero!" Casey squealed when she noticed him and left behind whatever she was building in the snow to run up to him.

"Casey!" John dropped down to pick up the girl, hugging her as if he had not seen her just the day before. "Happy Valentine's day!"

"Happy Valentine's Day!" She giggled and planted a kiss to his cold flushed cheek as she wiggling in his arms.

"I brought you something." He put her back on her feet before leaning down to her level. He flashed Annabelle a smile when the woman came up to them and stood beside her daughter.

"Oh!" Casey gasped at the offered wooden sword John pulled from his small bag. Her eyes twinkled in excitement and she took the toy carefully between her fingers.

"I figured, even a princess can be a hero." He told her with a bright smile.

"I get to be a hero too?" She asked in awe, her eyes wide as she looked at John like he had given her the most precious thing in the world.

"Of course you do."

"Momma!" She turned to Annabelle, holding out the sword like an offering. "I get to be a hero!"

"You sure do." Annabelle smiled, patting her daughter on the head. "A strong hero princess."

"Here." John reached forward to help Casey hold the sword like a real one. "Now be careful with it. Remember, only resort to sword fighting when you have to."

"Yes!" She nodded enthusiastically, gripping the handle of the wooden sword tightly.

"Dave would be a better teacher." He chuckled softly. "So maybe next time he comes around, He can teach you properly."

"Dave!" Casey bounced in excitement. "Casey will marry Dave one day! He's my prince!" John blinked in surprise at the girl's exclaimed words. "I will make him and papa hero proud!" She nodded to herself before running off in the snow, back to where she had previously been playing.

"Did she just...?"

"John, Dear." Annabelle had the type of tone that reminded John of when Rose was going to tell him something he wasn't ready for. "She's barely six years old." She reminded him, petting his shoulder gently as he stood up straight.

"But she just..."

"John." Annabelle let out a faint laugh as she rubbed a comforting hand over John's back. "She doesn't really plan to marry him."

"She called me papa." He blurted out, unaware of the prickle of tears in his eyes.

Annabelle just smiled, continuing to pet the hero on the back. "She does that quite often actually."

"I... Is that okay?" He was suddenly alarmed, his wide eyes shifting to her.

Annabelle hid a laugh behind her hand as she stepped away from John and watched her daughter run around a snow mound waving the sword in the air. "As long as it's fine with you, it is fine with me. She calls Karkat papa troll. She vaguely remembers her real father and to be honest, I'm more than grateful that she has you and Karkat. Plus Dave and Jade. All of you are part of our family."

John smiled, bright and wide as he pulled out a small bag for Annabelle. "For you."

She blinked in pleasant surprise before she carefully took the leather bag into her mitten covered hands. "You didn't have to."

"Well, You're family too."

She flushed softly as she pulled the strings to open the bag and peered inside. "Oh Casey will love this."

"Its for both of you."

"Thank you, John." She didn't hesitate to lean up on her toes and plant a soft kiss to John's cheek. "You're too good to us."

The hero smiled and gave a full body shrug. "You're welcome."

"Is Karkat coming by later?" She asked, tucking the bag into her coat before moving back toward the bench with John following behind.

"Not that I know of."

"You don't have plans?" She perked a brow as she sat back down and went to work on the little scarf.

"Trolls don't really celebrate human holidays." He answered as he sat down beside her.

"Yes, But he spent Christmas with you. You can't expect me to honestly believe you haven't thought of something for him."

"Well... I mean, I'm not sure what to do." His cheeks flushed as he shifted his eyes to Casey.

Annabelle hummed softly, focusing her eyes on the scarf since she knew John would keep an eye on Casey. "Why don't you invite him over for dinner? Karkat seems like the type to appreciate the small things."

"Are you... suggesting a date?" He glanced at her with wide eyes.

"Something of the sort, yes. It is Valentine's day after all. The two of you may not be a conventional couple but you are still a couple. It's a day to express your love for one another. No matter the type of love. I think he would enjoy something special like that."

"Yeah." John smiled fondly. "Karkat is the romantic type. But I barely know how to cook."

"I can give you a few pointers if you would like."

"That'd be great!"

* * *

When Karkat woke, it was just another day for him. Nothing special about it at all. Except he knew it was Valentine's day and a part of him was curious to see if John would do anything about it. Even after their conversation in the tub, nothing had changed between them and though Karkat was grateful for that, he was curious to see if John had been trying to come onto him red. Oddly, despite his reaction, Karkat didn't actually feel all that strongly against the two of them going red. He just knew he wouldn't be a good enough lover for the hero and John deserved better. It was a fact to him.

The troll sat on the edge of his bed, his feet dangling as he ran claws through his mess of hair. He focused on waking up, smacking his lips and breathing in deeply before he noticed the little note on his floor. He stared at it for a full minute before moving to his feet to pick it up. John requested Karkat to come to his cottage as soon as the troll was able. Karkat recognized the hero's handwriting and he wandered what John was planning. He couldn't help the swelling of his heart at the thought that maybe John had done something special for him.

Karkat tossed the note on his table and set to work grooming himself and picking out an outfit he thought was good enough for the occasion. He tried to tell himself it was a normal day and there was nothing special about it but that was a lie and he knew it. He took the time to comb out his hair and cleaned his fangs with extra care. He spent more time than he ever had picking out an outfit. Something buried deep in the bottom of his dresser. Something Kanaya made him and he never thought he'd have a purpose for it. The jade troll obviously thought otherwise and he was grateful for that.

The vest was simple for the most part; made out of a soft warm dark material that felt good against Karkat's skin. It fit him perfectly, hugging him around the waist and showing the bit of hips he actually had. As much as he loved how John's clothes hung from his frame, it felt nice to wear something so form-fitting and made with love from his favorite female troll. The outfit almost felt a little too nice to wear but it was a special day so he tried not to let it get to him too much.

He wore a dark thin long sleeved shirt beneath the vest-like top that came up around his throat with a buckle. The silver designs throughout the vest reminded Karkat how long it had been since he last wore something made by her. Her skills had greatly increased and he felt a sense of pride for her as he looked himself over. If not for the under-shirt, his shoulders and a good chunk of his back would be seen and it was much too cold for that. The pants were simple black and just as form-fitting as the rest of the outfit. He brushed down the front of the vest, trailing his claws over the details gently for a few seconds before he snatched up his boots and laced them on.

He debated stuffing a hat on his head after all the effort he went through to make his hair actually look presentable for once so he opted just to throw the hood of his cloak over his hair. The cloak was thick and warm, covering his body from the cold and any prying eyes. Though Karkat was pretty sure everyone in Oakfield knew he was a troll thanks to Casey running around proclaiming it as often as she could.

Karkat smiled fondly at the thought of the young girl as he left his cabin, shutting the door behind him. The trek into Oakfield wasn't too far but he did wish John had just come to pick him up instead. Flying was so much easier. He shook his head at the thought. He never thought he'd enjoy flying in a million years but as long as he was with John, he was willing to do almost anything. Flying became as natural to him as walking or breathing. John had changed a lot in Karkat's life and there wasn't a thing he regretted about it.

With the sun nearly set and the world being cast in a soft glow of the moon, the air grew quiet and cold. Karkat marched on, following a familiar path that was covered in freshly fallen snow. As he crossed into Albion, there was an obvious difference in the air and he was vaguely surprised to see a few snowflakes starting to fall. He pressed on a little quicker before it grew too cold and the snow fell heavier.

Oakfield was lit with lanterns that made Karkat pause before stepping out of the forest. Strung along the pathways were lanterns, hanging from string and in all shapes and colors. As if there was a festival going on. Karkat considered that perhaps there was from the sound of music and laughter coming from the Sandgoose. It was a holiday after all.

So with a shrug and a tug of his cloak, Karkat followed the lanterns that lit his way toward John's cottage. The falling snow gave a peaceful aura to the village as Karkat made his way through it. He could see the lights on inside the warm homes with families celebrating and having a good ol' time. It brought a faint smile to his face to see the people of Albion able to live so carefree because of the heroes they were blessed with. He could only hope that one day, Alternia would have the same fate. For the sake of his friends more than anyone.

John's cottage looked more warm and inviting than it ever had and as Karkat made his way up the small slope, his chest started to swell with warmth. He swallowed hard as he approached the wooden door and though he could see the flickering of the fire dancing along the curtains from the inside, he couldn't actually see into the cottage. With one hand curled to his chest he took the time to knock three times on the door.

When John opened the door, Karkat was momentarily stunned by the bright beautiful smile on the hero's face. "Karkat!" John greeted, rubbing his hands clean on a small towel tucked into the pocket of his black pants. Black. Karkat had to blinked a few times before he registered John was not wearing his Hero garb. He wore a clean form-fitting blue button up shirt that really brought out the color of his skin and eyes. His outfit was simple but there was something about it that made the troll's heart thump.

"John." He greeted with much less enthusiasm but the flush on his cheeks was all John needed.

"Come in, come in." The hero quickly wrapped an arm around Karkat's waist and pulled the troll inside the warm cottage before shutting the door behind him. "Food'll be done in a minute."

"Food?" Karkat perked up, his eyes focused on John as he unclipped the cloak from around his neck. "John you..." The words fell from Karkat's lips and settled in his stomach when his eyes shifted away to glance around the cottage.

Lit candles were scattered around the place, giving the cottage a warm glow. The air smelled of something savory and a little bit sweet and when crimson eyes landed on the table in the middle of the cottage, Karkat's heart leaped in his throat. Dinner for two. By candlelight.

"John.."

"I know, okay, I know." John rambled on quickly, moving to block Karkat's view of the cottage. When crimson eyes jumped up to him, the hero inhaled deeply to gain the courage to continue. "But, valentine's day is about love. It doesn't manner what kind of love just love. And you're my moirail and pale love is still love so even if we're not red, we can still celebrate it, can't we?" Karkat could only stare in surprise at the awkwardly shifting hero. "Cause... we've never really done anything special celebrating that we're moirails and I know this relationship is really important to the both of us and I just... wanted to do something nice?"

With the flick of a wrist, Karkat removed his hood and let his cloak slip of his shoulders to the floor. Crystal blue jumped all over the troll, taking in his outfit with a flush of appreciation before Karkat wrapped his arms around John's neck, claws slipping into his hair and pulled him down so their lips could meet. The pressure was soft and a bit warm and Karkat pulled away before John even had the chance to return it though he kept them close.

"You spoil me." Karkat's voice rolled with a faint purr, his eyes practically glowing in the candlelight as John knocked their foreheads together. "Keep spoiling me like this and you'll never fucking get rid of me."

A smile broke across the hero's face as he leaned down to press a soft kiss to Karkat's lips. "I have no intention of ever getting rid of you, Karkat." His serious tone sent a strange shiver down Karkat's spine.

"Course not. You'd be hopeless without me." The troll teased, a soft smile curling to his full lips with a fang or two peeking out as he toyed with John's hair.

"So you're not mad?"

Karkat snorted softly, letting his hands fall away from the hero before he dipped down to pick up his cloak and toss it over the coat rack. "You did something sweet. Why would I be mad?"

"Okay, Good. I've never really cooked before but I tried my best. Oh! The chicken!" John quickly spun around and hurried into the kitchen to check on whatever he was cooking in the stove.

The troll chuckled softly as he moved to follow John. "You cooked for me? Well, aren't you just the perfect little wife."

John's cheeks flushed as he pulled out the chicken from the stove and placed it on the counter. "I thought it would be nice."

"It  _is_ nice." Karkat mumbled, bumping John's hip with his as he peered at the chicken with his arms crossed over his chest. "Though, I do hope you know what you're doing."

"Annabelle gave me a few tips. And I've watched Jane and Rose enough to have a rough idea of what I'm doing. I make no promises it will be perfect."

Karkat shrugged. "You made it so I'm confidant it will be edible."

John chewed on his lower lip before he slipped an arm around Karkat's waist to pull the troll into his side. "You look really nice, Karkat."

"So do you."

John grinned, nuzzling into soft black hair, managing to not mess it up too bad. "Like really nice, Karkat." His fingers trailed over the back of the vest before rubbing upwards to press over the collar around his neck.

"Kanaya made it. I thought you might be planning something so I came prepared."

"I like it."

"Good." He nudged John's side, glancing up in time to see the intent in John's eyes. He dipped his head back as John bent down so their lips could slide together. It was effortless and easy. As their kisses always were. But it made something deep inside Karkat  _burn_ and that was in no way typical. He let out a soft breath, pressing a bit closer to deepen the kiss before he pulled away, out of John's grasp. "Will it be done soon?"

"Ah, Um, yeah." John swallowed past the lump in his throat and the heat in his stomach from that kiss. A kiss even he knew felt a little different. "It's done now actually. Go ahead and sit down."

Karkat moved to do as was asked of him, sitting down in one of the two chairs around the table. He noticed the candles, two of them on either side with a small bowl of what looked to be flower petals in the middle. His cheeks flushed at the gesture and his heart swelled with the knowledge that John had went through so much just to do something special for them. It wasn't the first time the hero had done so either. Karkat knew how lucky he was. He had no illusions about that.

John shuffled over with two plates in his hands, a shy smile on his face as he placed them down; one in front of Karkat and the other across from him. Karkat was sure he'd never see John look so nervous before. He perked a brow at the food piled neatly on his plate. A chunk of chicken, the breast from what Karkat could tell and his favorite part of the bird. Then some corn, mashed potatoes and a few strawberries. John was sitting, chewing on his bottom lip nervously when Karkat glanced up at him.

"You went all out, huh?"

The hero shrugged awkwardly, stuffing his hands in his lap as he gauged Karkat's face for some type of reaction. "It's a special occasion."

The troll hummed. "Thank you John. Really. But you should have said something. I would have helped you."

John shook his head. "I wanted to do it on my own. For you. For us." He twisted to tug out a long glass bottle from a bucket that was full of snow. The wine had been a Christmas gift from Rose and John felt it was a a special enough occasion to pop it open. The cork came out with a flick of his wrist and he poured a decent amount in the two glasses set out for the two of them.

"It's really... sweet." Karkat mumbled, the rounds of his cheeks flushed red and even the tips of his ears poking from his hair were red.

"I'm glad you think so." He pushed one glass toward Karkat before stuffing the bottle back into the snow to keep it chilled. Then he picked up his own glass and with a blush on his face tilted it toward Karkat. "To us?"

The troll swallowed past the lump in his throat as his claws wrapped around the glass and lifted it to click against John. "To us."

A smile curled to John's lips as he sipped the wine, his eyes focused on the troll across the table from him. Karkat flushed, a swirl of heat filling his stomach as he brought the red liquid to his lips to taste. It was sweet. Sweeter than he expected but wasn't all that bad. But even when he put it down and they dug into their food, there was a strange taste left in his mouth that had nothing to do with the wine or John's surprisingly nice cooking.

* * *

Karkat watched with a full stomach and a heavy heart as John cleared their empty plates away to dump in the kitchen sink. He sipped his wine with thoughts spinning around in his head while his eyes followed John. The curve of his cheek, his jawline, down his neck, over his broad shoulders and down to a slim but firm waist then over toned thighs and with those form-fitting pants Karkat had a lovely view of a nice rump. John was attractive. There was no denying that. There was never any denying that. The hero was handsome. Karkat was highly aware of that. But even so, he never felt specifically attracted to John's looks. It was always more... John he was attracted to. Not his looks per say but the person.

"Hey Karkat?" John leaned back against the counter, his cheeks slightly flushed and his posture a little tense. "I know it's cold but, would you like to go for a walk?"

The troll perked a brow, taking in John's expression before nodding. He was no fool. He could read John like any one of his books and sure there were times he just couldn't figure out what the hero was thinking but this was not one of those times. He finished off his glass before getting to his feet. "A walk sounds good."

John lit up and pushed away from the counter so they could huddle by the door and bundle up. "Is your cloak warm enough? You could wear one of mine?"

Karkat nodded, slipping the cloak over his shoulders and buckled it around his neck. "It's much more warm than it appears."

"Okay." John tugged on his hero tunic over his shirt to keep him warm but didn't bother to put anything else on. He opened the door for Karkat and then followed the troll out into the cool night air. He shut the door behind them and was slightly glad to see the snow had decided to stop for the time being.

Karkat pressed close to the hero's side, barely touching him but close enough that John could feel the heat coming off of him. They shared a small smile before heading off down the pathway, the snow crunching beneath their boots. They were silent as they walked, taking in the cool night air and how nice it felt against their flushed faces.

It was no surprise when they turned toward the beach and ended up walking along the soft waves on the snow sprinkled beach. They kept close to one another and by the time they were a good deal down the beach, away from cottages and any on lookers, John's hand slipped into Karkat's spreading warmth over their chilled bodies.

"Karkat?"

"Mhm?"

"I... I need to talk to you about something." The words were spoke on the wind and made a cold peddle of anticipation drop into the troll's stomach.

"Okay."

John chewed on his lower lip as he brought them to a stop. "Um, Why don't we sit?"

"Sure."

The hero took a deep breath as he watched the troll tuck the cloak under his rump before sitting down in the sand. John sat down beside him less elegantly with his legs crossed before him while Karkat just pulled his knees to his chest. John's heart was pounding hard in his chest and his blood rushed making his head spin but he had to do it. He had do it before he lost the amount of courage he had gained.

Karkat remained silent, his eyes focused on the ocean spread out before them. Even in the cool night air, he felt very warm thanks to the blue eyes focused on him and the way they made his stomach churn. It wasn't uncomfortable; it was just different.

"Karkat." Crimson met swirling blue, a storm brewing deep within those beautiful ocean eyes. "I'm in love with you." Though the words fell from John's lips like stones, they were spoken from his heart and though Karkat had been slightly expecting them, his eyes still widened considerably and his cheeks flushed as dark as the wine they consumed earlier. "I know..." John continued, swallowing hard as he glanced away from the troll to look at the ocean. "I know it's not... okay. Because we're moirails and I know you might feel betrayed by my feelings but... They happened and I couldn't exactly stop them. I... I am sorry, Karkat. I've liked you from... pretty much since we met. I didn't realize it till recently but... I didn't want to keep it from you. I figured you at least deserved to know. I don't..." He closed his eyes as he drug a hand through his hair. "I don't expect anything by telling you this. I just... wanted to tell you."

Karkat was quiet for a long time. After the initial shock of John's confession warred down into a warm tingling feeling in his chest he found a strange surge of anger boiling deep inside. He did feel betrayed. But he pushed it down because John was right. Feelings were feelings and Karkat knew John couldn't help it. Though really, it left the troll reeling. Why? How? How could John have those feelings for him? He wasn't... He wasn't anything special.

The words were something Karkat had felt coming but he was in no way prepared to handle them. John was his  _moirail._ Someone he had decided to open up to after so long of being on his own. He didn't regret it but, perhaps it was his own fault. He had not drawn a firm enough line between them and humans didn't have quadrants. It was his fault and he felt incredibly guilty over it. He didn't mean to lead John on. That was the last thing he had meant to do. And even if there were red feelings swirling around in his fucked up heart, that didn't mean he was ready to be that way with the hero.

"I'm not ready for that." Was all Karkat was able to say through his tight throat.

John glanced at him in surprise, his eyes wide and filled with a sense of hope that made the troll's stomach drop. "You're not... That's not a turn down, Karkat."

"I know." He answered honestly before letting out a frustrated sigh and dug a hand into his hair as he pressed a cheek to his knee, watching John with unreadable shimmering eyes. "It's the most honest answer I can give you, okay? Yeah, I'm a bit ticked off and feel a little bit betrayed but I'm not unreasonable. I just... I'm not ready."

"I... I can wait till you are." John answered just as honestly, raising a hand to brush over the back of Karkat's neck, beneath the color of his vest.

The troll didn't move to stop the hero from rubbing gentle soothing caresses into his neck. "I can't... I can't ask that of you."

"You're not." He smiled tenderly, shifting a bit closer to the troll until he could lean close to press his lips to a warm cheek. "I know it's... I mean... Fuck." He let out a soft chuckle, nuzzling into soft black hair as Karkat let his eyes slip shut.

"I want us to stay as we are. But... I should have drawn a clearer line."

"Karkat. You have to know, I'm happy with whatever you give me."

"That doesn't make me feel any fucking better." He hissed softly, his lip curling over his fangs. "If anything it makes me feel worse."

"I'm sorry." John whispered softly, resting his chin on Karkat's shoulder, his fingers still rubbing Karkat's neck gently.

"I don't think I can ever give you want you want."

"Because of how you consider yourself broken? Karkat, sex doesn't define a relationship. Not to humans. But Karkat, I'm okay with that. Staying moirails is more than I could ever ask for. You're... You're just precious to me."

Grey cheeks flushed darkly as he peeked open his eyes to gauge the face only inches away. "You're precious to me too, John."

"Then we're okay? Because... honestly, all I could ever want is to keep you by my side. Be it as a friend or a moirail or a lover. You..." He bit into his lower lip.

"The hole. I fill it. I know. Jade told me."

Heat flushed up John's neck. "She what?"

A small smirk curled to Karkat's lips. "It's kinda sweet, you know."

John let out a small noise of defeat as he thunked his forehead against Karkat's shoulder, his hand slipping down the troll's neck to rest over his lower back. "Damnit Jade."

Karkat twisted, slipping his hands over John's cheeks till he could pull the human closer. The angle was awkward and they didn't exactly fit together properly but it didn't stop him from sliding their lips together. John's fingers curled against Karkat's back as he pressed closer, their lips moving together slowly, sensually.

"We're okay." Karkat mumbled when he pulled away, his eyes glowing in the moonlight and setting John's heart aflame. The hero just nodded and nuzzled into the troll's warm neck, his fingers clinging to the others cloak as his heart swelled in his throat.

* * *

It was obvious to Karkat that John felt loads better after his confession. He was less tense than he had been and even a bit more affectionate but not in a way that bothered the troll. John was relieved to get his feelings off his chest and still have Karkat by his side. But Karkat was losing his mind. He cared for John deeply. The hero was his moirail and had done a lot for him the past months they had been together. Karkat could never deny how precious John was to him and maybe it was selfish but he wasn't willing to get rid of the hero just because he harbored red feelings for Karkat.

Karkat couldn't help but question what being red for them would even mean. What would change? Would anything change? And even then; How long before John grew sick of him? How long before John came to realize just how fucked up Karkat truly was? Yet even so, Karkat knew John was a better man than that. John knew the troll at his worst and he still stuck around. There was something special about that and Karkat couldn't ignore it.

Like he told John, red was not a quadrant Karkat ever saw for himself. At one point in time, Terezi had been an option, sure. He felt those feelings for her but they were mushed together with something else he couldn't ever explain and even then, he never had the urge to push her down and ravish her like she wanted. Sure, he  _could_  do it. But there was a difference between having the ability to do something and doing something because he wanted to.

He never blamed her for going to Gamzee. He was never hurt by it either. It was black after all but it had ended whatever chance at red the two of them ever had. Gamzee never seemed to understand that but even so, Karkat never blamed him either. When it came to relationships, Karkat just accepted them as they were. He spent more time invested in his pale relationships anyway and with Gamzee, he didn't have the time to put into something red.

But now...

Karkat let out a soft sigh as he tossed the journal he was writing in to the side and tossed an arm over his eyes. He could feel a head ache coming on with all his thoughts rambling together. John could continue on as if he had never confessed a single thing to Karkat but the troll wasn't capable of doing that. Of course he was going to think about it. John had  _red_ feelings for him. And not just any red feelings. John told him he was in love with him. Karkat didn't know all that much about humans but he knew enough to know  _that_  was a big fucking deal.

"Fuck." He grumbled, sitting up abruptly and making his head spin. "What the fuck am I doing?" He hissed, pushing off the bed so he could stand and shuffle over to his dresser. He tugged open a drawer, glaring at the sickles waiting patiently for him before pushing them to the side to snatch up the beautiful necklace hidden under some clothes.

The troll held up the necklace by the chain, his eyes focusing on the jewel as it twisted in the air. His chest felt tight and his head foggy as he stared at the necklace. It held so much importance to the troll and proved everything he had never wanted to know. John was special. More than just a hero and more than just his moirail. There was a deep bond formed between the two of them and yet he was almost certain John had no memory of it. Perhaps because he was so young when it happened but it still stung a bit that John didn't seem to remember. They were precious memories to the troll and brought up feelings he had never felt before.

Karkat took a deep breath and shuffled back to his bed, sitting down as he cradled the jewel in his palm. He didn't hesitate when he slipped the necklace over his head and fell back, one arm spread out to the side while the other held the jewel between claws to lift up and gaze at. It was a beautiful jewel that changed his life in more ways than one.

He thought of John. He thought of the young boy who healed his broken heart and gave him a reason to continue living on. He thought of that bright smile and the first time he saw the boy fly. He thought of the first time he met John. The hero practically stalking him and making every alarm within the troll spark. He thought of the things they went through and how close they had become. He thought of John's eyes and his smile and his kisses. He thought of how nice it felt when the human touched him, be it gently or otherwise.

He let out a soft puff of air when heat flushed over his body and swirled in the pit of his stomach. His eyes widened as he shifted, squeezing his thighs together at the heat that formed between them. He thought of John's kisses and how their bodies fit together. He thought of the strange dream he had not long ago and how it tried to continue every time he fell asleep. He let out a soft groan, dropping the jewel on his chest as he rolled to his side. He curled up, tucking his head into his arm as a small pathetic noise came from the back of his throat at the way his body flared to life with heat.

No matter what, Karkat knew one thing.

He had to tell John about the necklace. And soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that was a bit of a rollarcoaster huh? I feel for John and I feel for Karkat. And I just want to smoosh their faces together they realize how much they love each other. But alas, it is not that simple. Also, kudos to those who figure out what's going on with Karkat without reading the new tags.
> 
> Also, I'd love if you checked [this](http://the-orgasmic-seke.tumblr.com/post/112348811730/steampunk-and-junk-new-shirts-in-stock-kincs) out because it's the thing I pictured Karkat in. It was a little hard to explain without going into way too much detail so just check it out because I love the idea of Karkat in that. (His is the bottom one) 
> 
> Welp, please be sure to let me know what you thought! Kudos are always appreciated but remember you can only kudo a chapter fic once so comments are really lovely!
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> ~Addy~


	17. Month 10 - March - Someplace To Call Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hell yeah I managed to finish this before April came! Yay me! Now I'm caught up on my months for this story. 
> 
> Also, just fyi, I finished planning this out and we're looking at a total of 24 chapters! I almost split this one but I decided not to because there wasn't a good place to split it. So, you get an extra long chapter! And with this, I hit 200k and let me tell you, I could not be happier!!!!
> 
> Some music for your pleasure [Here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-SeaCZE2TM) and [Here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBVyqK2IW_g)
> 
> Enjoy!!

_You're the light, You're the night_

_You're the color of my blood_

_You're the cure, you're the pain_

_You're the only thing I wanna touch_

_Never knew that it could mean so much._

_So love me like you do._

* * *

Spring began to fall on Albion and as the air shifted, Karkat had the pleasure of watching his fields of flowers stir to life. It was still too cool for them to bloom but green began to show and it was enough for the troll to know the seasons were starting to change. The days were pleasant and the nights were cool but Karkat was glad he could spend time outside without having to bundle up heavily. The scent in the air even shifted to something more earthy and he could tell the farmers in Oakfield were starting to till the earth for planting.

Karkat sat on the small step of his cabin as his eyes scanned over the mostly empty flower fields spread out around him. He looked forward to when they would bloom into beautiful flowers but even that couldn't take his mind off the things that had been bothering him. It always came back to John. The sweet dorky hero that stuck by his side for reasons Karkat never understood though maybe he did. He was sure John didn't know of their past but perhaps subconsciously, it gave John a reason to stick around.

When John confessed his feelings, Karkat had not been too surprised. He'd spent much too long pretending he didn't see the things that were so obvious and once John told him the truth, it was impossible to pretend any longer. John was in love him. Deeply in love with him and there wasn't much Karkat thought he could do about that. Returning those feelings meant accepting something the troll wasn't sure he was ready to accept.

He had to tell John about the necklace. He knew that. He had to sit down and tell John all the things he remembered about their past together and hope that John would remember too. It was something Karkat had clung to most of his life. It was one of the reasons he didn't allow himself to open up to anyone. He had wounds but John was more than willing to help sooth them over. Karkat just wasn't sure he was ready for John to do so.

"Karkat!"

The troll's head snapped up at the call of his name and crimson focused on the blue blob flying through the sky. John twirled in the air before he dived down to the ground, slowing down just in time to twist his body around so he could land effortlessly on his feet in front of Karkat. The troll still didn't understand how the hero trusted the wind so much but he had to admit, it was inspiring to watch John fly.

"Good Evening!" John's smile was bright as he gazed down at Karkat, his hands on his hips, giving him the silhouette of a true hero. He had his obnoxiously large hammer strapped to his back along with his pistols and the blade Karkat had given him strapped to his belt. He looked ready for adventure and that made Karkat perk an eyebrow. He eyed John for a moment before he moved to his feet, taking note of the leather satchel around the hero's chest.

"Leaving?" Karkat asked softly, motioning to the satchel before he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Rose gave me a few quests to do. She thought I might enjoy the adventure now that winter is moving on. More time outside, blah blah." He waved a hand dismissively in the air.

"How long will you be gone?" Karkat asked, ignoring the thump in his chest.

"Oh." John blinked before a smile curled to his lips and he leaned forward to tuck a strand of hair behind Karkat's pointed ear. "I was hoping you'd come with me."

Karkat was still for a moment before he perked an eyebrow. "Come with you?"

"Well, yeah." John shrugged as he returned his hand to his side. "I promised to take you adventuring sometime, remember? I figure this is as good a time as any!"

Adventuring with John wasn't entirely unappealing for the troll. He enjoyed traveling with John and even battling with him. "How long will we be gone?"

"I'm not sure. A month maybe? There's only a few quests but I thought we could take our time and I'd show you around Albion." A faint flush came to John's cheeks as he glanced away from the troll. "If you want to."

Crimson eyed the hero carefully, taking in that flush and the way John shifted from foot to foot. He was nervous. Did he honestly think Karkat would say no? Spending time with John was Karkat's favorite thing to do. No matter what they were doing, he enjoyed his time with the hero. It was important. Not to mention, John was his moirail. He wasn't sure he could handle John being gone for a month without him. Plus, it was his chance to do what Dave had done and that thought sealed the deal for the troll.

"I'd love to."

The way John's face lit up made every nerve in Karkat's body flare to life. "Really?"

"Yeah." He shrugged before turning back into his cabin, leaving the door open for John. "Where do we need to go?"

"Ah!" John followed Karkat inside, the grin on his face wide as he watched the troll tug out a satchel to toss on his bed. "Well, Bowerstone, Brightwood, Bloodstone and a few other places. I figure, we can take the cullis gate here to Bowerstone and then from there we can take that cullis gate to our next stop. Rose has been busy setting them up so we can travel all over Albion a lot faster. Flying is pretty fast but not as fast as the gates."

Karkat nodded as he started to pack clothes away into the satchel, making sure to bring enough for such a long trip. There was plenty of Albion that he had never seen and he looked forward to seeing it with John. Though, they had quests to do and Karkat couldn't help but feel a sense of pride that he was John's partner on this adventure. Not Dave; Karkat.

"Should I bring anything in particular?" Karkat asked as he moved to his dresser, tugging open the top drawer. He paused at the necklace peeking out from under a shirt.

"Your weapons if you want to." John replied, shifting the hammer on his back.

"I suppose it wouldn't hurt to get some practice with them in." He snatched up the necklace and quickly tucked it in his pocket before John could see. He then shut the drawer to move on to one of the bottom drawers. He pulled out a belt that he clicked on around his waist before sliding his sickles into their place on either side of the belt. The weight was familiar and he shifted his hips from side to side a few times. When he turned back to John he wasn't surprised to see those beautiful blue eyes focused directly on his hips and the faintest flush on his cheeks. "See something you like?"

"Hm?" John's eyes snapped up to Karkat's face and the blush deepened. "I just, um, I look forward to seeing what you're capable of. Um, with those."

A smirk curled to Karkat's lips as he approached John, his hand sliding over a flushed cheek so claws could curl in soft raven hair. "Mhm, that's all you want to see I'm capable of." His voice dropped an octave and with the way John's body tensed, Karkat knew he had the hero.

"K-Karkat." John gasped softly, his eyes wide as he reached for Karkat's hip.

He let out a soft noise of amusement before giving John's lips a soft peck. "I'm rusty. So don't expect to be all that entertained." He mumbled softly before pulling away from the red-faced hero so he finish packing.

John took a moment to catch his breath, his heart pounding in his chest from the sultry look that had been in those crimson eyes. He hadn't expected it and he wondered if Karkat was even doing it on purpose. The troll knew how he felt so were things changing between them? In a good way? John was unsure but when Karkat turned back to him, the leather satchel over his shoulder, he couldn't help but think how beautiful the troll was.

"Ready?" John asked, a smile on his lips.

"Yeah. Let's do this. I'm itching to get some shit done."

John chuckled as he wrapped his arm around Karkat's shoulders and led him out of the cabin, smothering the fire in the fireplace with a quick twist of his wrist. The door shut behind them quietly and when John pulled away to float into the air, he tugged Karkat's hand with him. The troll was stable only a minute as the wind swooped around him, making the edges of his clothing lift before his body followed suit and his feet lifted from the ground. The wind was a friend to him now. It caressed him and held him like a familiar lover and when he floated to John's side, the smile the hero wore bore deep into Karkat's soul. Their hands found one another before heading off to the cullis gate deep in the woods.

* * *

By the time the world came into focus once more, Karkat wasn't sure if his stomach could handle more cullis gate traveling anytime soon. He thought he would have become used to it but flying was easier and he finally understood why John preferred to fly than take the gates or use Jade's power. It caused less distress on the body, that was for sure. He ran a hand through his hair as John settled at his side, adjusting the weapons on his body to make sure everything made it through.

Crimson glanced around the dark room, taking in the broken columns and ancient statues. The smell was similar to the reliquary but he didn't have a chance to explore, nor did he really care to. John led him up the large staircase that led outside into the large castle gardens. Karkat was surprised to see the large castle that he had seen plenty of times looming in the distance from Bowerstone. People wandered about with a sense of purpose and Karkat vaguely wondered how a country managed to survive without a king. Sure Albion had the eight heroes but were they really the ones who handled the political side of running a country?

John lifted in the air, taking Karkat's hand gently to gain the troll's attention. "We're going to Industrial. I don't think you've seen it before."

"The fuck is Industrial?" He asked, narrowing his eyes as he allowed the wind to lift him into the air.

"It's... Well, it's the part of Bowerstone where most of the factories are." John kept hold of his hand as they lifted high into the air, over the castle so Karkat could see the rooftops of Bowerstone Market not far away. "See?" He grasped the troll's shoulders gently and turned him around, toward the water. "That's Industrial." He motioned to the tall stacks putting out smoke across the water from the castle. There wasn't much Karkat could see about the place but it looked dark and dingy. "We've spent a lot of time there in the past, trying to get things up and working. I haven't been in a while."

"Why are we going?" He asked, turning to the hero as they started moving through the air, toward the large smoke stacks.

"Rose told me there's some slave trading going on down there and we can't stand for that. People aren't slaves and they shouldn't be forced to work for nothing." It was something John was rather passionate about from the tone in his voice.

"How do we stop them?"

"I like to think talking works but... usually these men are not that reasonable. As long as we can free the slaves they have and stop them, I don't really care how it's done."

"Okay." Karkat nodded, his focus shifting to the city they approached.

He narrowed his eyes as the air shifted into something thicker. He was sure the smoke coming from those stacks didn't help the air and he suddenly felt uncomfortable. He was a creature of nature and this was as far from nature as he could get. As they floated to the ground, he could tell there was nothing natural about the city. Everything was man-made and it didn't settle that well with him. Even the ground was cobblestone, though it was dirty. The buildings lined along the walkways on either side of a small river looked broken and beaten down, with broken windows and dirty doors. Some of the buildings even had boarded up windows and appeared to be abandoned.

People were everywhere but there was something different about these people. They were dirty and their clothes were worn and torn. Children ran about, just as dirty as the adults and even the water in the river appeared dirty. The sky didn't appear as blue as Karkat knew it to be and the entire city have a dark depressing aura about it. He didn't like it. At all.

"What the fuck is this place?" He whispered softly, his eyes narrow and his lips forming a faint snarl as he glanced about, noticing people carrying boxes disappearing and reappearing from what he assumed to be factories.

"It's Bowerstone Industrial." John explained, a soft sad smile on his lips as he glanced about. "The poorest part of Albion. The factory workers work for next to nothing but we've been trying to fix that for a while. There's a lot of politics to go through and Roxy has been working on it for some time. The positive thing is we've taken all the homeless off the streets and made sure everyone has a warm bed to sleep in. Roxy comes by often and makes sure people have the food they need. Most of the crop Oakfield harvests comes here for these people."

"Shit." He cursed softly.

"Yeah." John shrugged as he started to walk with Karkat at his side. They crossed over the river with one of the three bridges, staying close to one another. The people walked about with their heads down and barely acknowledged John which was a surprise to Karkat. "This place used to be ten times worse but the last king worked hard to fix it. It's still not as good as it should be, but we're getting there."

"So Albion does have slums."

"Does Alternia?"

"More than we'd like to admit."

"Because of the king?"

A soft snarl came from Karkat's lips and it was loud enough to gain the attention of a passing woman. She glanced up in alarm and when her eyes took in the horns Karkat didn't bother to hide and his grey skin, she stumbled backwards in surprise. John noticed immediately and gave the woman a soft smile that seemed to ease her worries. She quickly bowed her head and scurried off without a glance back to them.

"The people here were born and raised here." John sighed softly, watching the woman scurry off to the other side of the river and disappear down an alleyway. "Chances are they've never even seen how blue the sky can be or what fresh air tastes like. They're also not very educated though we've recently set up a school for the children. They've probably never even heard of a troll before."

"I didn't even think to disguise myself." Karkat hissed, more angry at himself than anyone else. He was so used to being open with John, he hadn't even thought to cover his horns.

"Well, Pretty much everyone knows about the troll who travels with me." John patted the troll's back gently with a warm smile on his lips. "But yeah, We might want to hid those horns just in case." He glanced around before finding what he had been looking for. "Wait here. I'm going to scout around in the air for a bit and see if I can find where the slave traders are. Ask around if you can, it could be helpful."

Karkat gave a nod and when John lifted into the air and took off down the river to go deeper into the city, he watched until that blue blob couldn't be seen any longer. The troll let out a heavy sigh as he turned to finish crossing the bridge. The people that passed by didn't seen to notice him at all and he was fine with that. With his dark clothes, he fit right in with the humans. He wasn't dirty or worn like them, but he was dark. John was a bright blue flash of light in the dark city just like he had been in Karkat's life.

He shook his head at that thought, a smile curling to the corner of his lips without his knowledge as he followed the path toward the ocean where a harbor sat around a large factory. He paused at the corner, noticing how the sky shifted from a dark cloudy blue into a brighter blue the farther out the ocean went. He leaned back against the brick wall of the factory and pondered how he could even ask these people questions considering how he looked. They didn't take note of him but if he approached them, he was sure they would run away terrified. He considered the things he had brought with him but there wasn't anything that would hid his horns without looking absolutely ridiculous. He should have brought a hat. He couldn't believe he had forgotten something so simple.

Karkat's head snapped up at the sound of children laughing and he watched as a group of boys roughly around Casey's age hurried up the stairs to his right, laughing and calling out to one another. They were playing from the look of it and he watched in mild amusement as they ran past him. But one of the boys, the smallest one with dirty blonde hair at the back of the pack stumbled and fell flat on his face. Concern spiked in Karkat's chest but he stayed still. The boy laid still for a few seconds before he moved to sit up and cradled his hurt knee to his chest.

The group of boys came to a stop and turned back to the boy when he called out to them.

"Don't be a baby!" One of them called.

"Yeah, you gonna cry about it?" Another teased, snickering to himself.

"Jesse's such a baby! You gonna cry just cause you got hurt?" Another one.

The blond boy sniffled and ducked his head, his small dirty hands covering the bleeding wound on his knee.

"You gonna cry for your mommy?" The first one spoke, a rather cruel look on his face that ticked Karkat off. "Too bad you don't have one!"

"Alright you little pieces of shit!" Karkat snapped, pushing off the wall and gaining the attention of the boys and every other adult around him. The blond boy cowered but didn't move when Karkat stepped up beside him, glaring and snarling at the group of boys who stared at him with wide eyes. "You gonna bully the small kid, I'm gonna show you what it really means to get your ass kicked."

"W-We didn't mean nothin'!" The group huddled together behind the brunet who appeared to be the leader.

"Yeah? You enjoy making the weak cry?" Karkat hissed, his eyes practically glowing as he glared at the group of boys. "There will always be someone weaker than you and there will always be someone stronger than you. That doesn't give you the right to pick on the kid just because it makes you feel powerful." He flashed his fangs, noticing how their faces drained of color. "Or do I need to give you an example of what happens when you pick on the weak in the real world?"

"Ah! He's a monster!" One of the boys yelped and quickly took off running. The rest of the group screamed in terror and took off after him, yelling about a monster as they hurried down the pathway.

Karkat let out a heavy sigh, his face falling back to normal as he watched them run. "Serves you right, vile shitfucking nooksteches." He hissed before turning to the blond boy who was still sitting on the ground beside him. Something clenched deep in his chest and he dropped to a knee at the boy's side. "Hey, you alright?" He asked gently.

The boy, seemingly the youngest and smallest of the group, shook his head quickly and eyed Karkat quickly with a small sense of fear.

Karkat sighed and tilted his head to the side as he ran a clawed hand through his dark hair. "I'm not going to hurt you. I did just stand up for you, you know?"

Slowly, the blond boy uncurled from himself, one hand still covering his hurt knee as he stared openly at the troll. "You're... not a monster?" He asked softly, his voice light and with a tone of curiosity.

Karkat shrugged, watching the boy with bright crimson eyes, one hand in his hair while the other dangled over his bent knee. "Depends really. Do you think I'm a monster?"

"N-No..." The boy swallowed and seemed to relax. "You... protected me."

"Yeah, cause I can't stand people like that. Picking on you just because you're smaller. It's shitty." He motioned to the knee the boy was holding on to tightly. "Need help?"

"It's bleeding."

"I can fix that if you'll let me."

The boy nodded so Karkat shifted to sit on his knees as he tugged the satchel off from around his head. He dropped it to his side before flipping it open to dig through it. "What's your name?" He asked gently as he searched for the small first aid kit he had brought with him. "My name's Karkat."

"J-Jesse." The blond answered softly, his green eyes focused on what Karkat was doing.

"Well, Jesse, let me give you some advice." He started as he pulled the kit out along with a canteen of water he'd brought along as well. "I get it. Being the small one of the group. I've always been the smallest of my friends too. Hell, I still am." He rolled his eyes as unscrewed the canteen and motioned for the boy to move his hand. Jesse did it slowly but once his hand was removed Karkat poured the clean water over the wound gently and dabbed at it with a white cloth to clean it the best he could. "You might get lucky and spurt up when you're older. How old are you, anyway?"

"I'm six." He answered, a soft smile coming to his lips and revealed the few teeth missing in his smile.

"Yeah, you got a lot of growing coming your way." He smiled tenderly at the boy as he treated his scraped up knee with water and care. "But I'll tell you this. Those boys won't stop. Well, they might now that I scared the piss out of them. But there will be other boys. People who will always look down on you and tease you. It's life. I know it sucks but it's how the world works. But you don't have to take it. Don't take their shit. It's how I got through."

"But... what am I supposed to say?"

Karkat grunted as he took the boy's leg into his hand and bent it carefully to check how bad the shallow wound was. The boy winced and though there were tears in his dark green eyes, they didn't escape. "Nothing really. That just encourages them. The best thing to do is to walk away. Don't let them get to you. So you're smaller, so what? So you don't have a mother? That's a fucked up thing to pick on." Karkat hissed, his eyes narrow as he started to wrap the boy's knee with a bandage. "I lost my parents when I was just a baby, so I understand. Those boys need a good talking to for sure."

"You... don't have a mommy?"

When Karkat glanced up, there was something so broken in Jesse's expression that it left his throat dry and his heart thumping painfully. "No. I lost her when I was little. I don't even remember her."

"I... My mommy..." His face contorted and the tears that he had held onto so bravely fell down his dirty cheeks. "She got sick... Really sick and... She had to go away. I miss her. I miss her so much."

Karkat swallowed hard as he reached for the boy and brought him to his chest without a second thought. The boy cried against his chest, curled up between Karkat's bent knees as the troll held onto him with one arm. "It's okay to cry. You should cry. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. Crying is healthy and in the end, you feel just a bit better. Crying does not make you weak. It makes you... Well it makes you alive. Missing your mother, crying out for her, it's  _okay_." Jesse hiccuped in between a sob and pressed close to Karkat, grabbing onto his shirt with his tiny dirty fists. "You'll be alright kid. You're young."

The boy sniffled a few times before he pulled back to look up at the troll, his green eyes full of tears. "Why are they so mean?"

"I don't know." He lifted a hand and tugged the long sleeve of his shirt over his thumb so he could brush the wetness away from the boy's cheeks. "Sometimes, people feel better about themselves when they're picking on the weak. It makes them feel stronger by putting other people down and really, that's no way to live. There will always be someone stronger than you and someone weaker than you. But that doesn't give anyone the right to pick on the weak." His eyes narrowed as he brushed the dirt away from round pale cheeks. "The best thing you can do is walk away. But sometimes you can't walk away. That's when you just don't take their shit. Stand up for yourself. Learn to fight back." He let out a soft sigh as he dropped his hand on the boy's thick dirty hair. "You're still a kid. You should enjoy that for as long as you can."

Jesse nodded with a sniff and rubbed at his flushed nose with a dirty hand. "Thank you, mister Karkat."

"Just Karkat." He smiled warmly, patting the boy's hair.

"Karkat." Jesse smiled brightly up at him. "I... Can I ask, what you are?" Those green eyes shifted to Karkat's horns and ears and then landed on the fangs poking out from his parted lips.

"I'm a troll. Ever heard of one?"

Jesse shook his head. "No." He gasped in awe, his eyes bright and wide as if nothing bad had ever happened. Children were resilient and Karkat knew the boy would be alright. But there was still that tug deep within him to protect the boy and take him home. It was something that stuck with him.

"Well, there's nothing to be afraid of. We're just different." He offered the boy a smile before he packed his things away in his satchel. "You'll be alright kid. Where's your dad?"

"I..." And it was back. That flash of pain that struck Karkat to the core. "I never had one."

"You're an orphan?"

"We all are..."

Anger swelled through Karkat's veins. They were orphans and still had the nerve to tease Jesse for not having a mother when they didn't have one either. It really pissed him off. "Rude pieces of slutscum." He hissed as he moved to his feet and grabbed Jesse's arm to help the boy up as carefully as he could.

Jesse winced as he put pressure on his wounded knee and opted to keep his weight on the other foot. "Thank you Karkat. For helping me."

"You're welcome." He placed his hand on the boy's head and felt his heart thump at the smile the blond gave him.  _Shit_. "Where do you live? I'll take you there."

"The orphanage." He raised a hand to point down the path the group of boys ran off through.

"Ugh." Karkat closed his eyes against the wave of compassion that came over his body. "You live in an orphanage. How long?"

"Um, I don't know. Not long." Jesse shrugged and made to move but he paused when pain throbbed through his knee.

"Here." Karkat reached down for him and the boy didn't hesitate to reach for the troll. Jesse was light, lighter than Casey and that worried him. He let the boy wrap his legs around his waist and tucked his arm under the boy's bum so he could rest comfortably. Jesse let his hands rest on Karkat's shoulders as he glanced down the path. "What's the orphanage like? Do you like it there?"

Jesse tucked his head down and shook it, his forehead connecting with Karkat's shoulder. "It's not... bad. We get food and a bed to sleep on and Mrs. Bach is nice."

"But?"

Jesse was quiet for a moment so Karkat let him be. He didn't bother to move, just held onto the boy and glanced around, noticing the townspeople who glanced at him in slight concern. He wondered if seeing those boys pick on each other was a common thing. He wondered if they always stood by and just watched as Jesse was picked on. That made his anger flare and he suddenly wanted to steal the boy away and take him someplace safe. Like home.

"I miss my mommy." Jesse mumbled against Karkat's shoulder and it took every amount of self control the troll had to not take him away.

"I know you do. Having a family, having people you can lean on and trust, it's important."

"You want to take him home, don't you?" John's voice didn't startle Karkat but he was surprised when the hero landed at his side with a pauper's cap in his hand.

"How long were you watching?" The troll cut his eyes at the hero while Jesse lifted his head to stare at John in awe.

"Long enough. You handled that pretty well." He offered Karkat the hat while giving Jesse a bright smile. "Hey there, I'm John. What's your name?"

"J-Jesse."

"What's this for?" Karkat motioned to the hat without taking it considering he was holding Jesse up with both hands.

"Ah." John leaned forward and put the hat on Karkat's head, hiding his horns. He tucked dark hair out of Karkat's face and once he was done, he was quite pleased with how the troll looked. The hat was a dark grey color with a rounded brim and jellyfish like top. His pointed ears were set free but it hid his horns rather well. In fact, it looked really good on him, John admitted to himself. "There. It hides your horns. It's not much but you look less threatening."

"Ah, mister, are you a hero?" Jesse asked softly, his green eyes wide as he watched John tucked a few strands of hair away from Karkat's face.

"You bet I am!" John grinned at the boy. "Karkat's my friend. I saw him save you from those mean boys."

"He's really nice." He nodded, smiling softly at Karkat.

"Yeah, He's the best." John pat Karkat's shoulder gently. "How's your knee?"

Jesse kicked his foot gently, glancing down at the clean bandage wrapped around it. "It hurts. But Karkat was really gentle."

"Yeah, He's good at that. We have a little girl and he's always the first to take care of her wounds." John smiled like a proud father and it caused a faint blush to come to Karkat's cheeks.

Jesse glanced between the two of them with curious eyes. "You're a family?"

"Well, yes. We have a really big family." John answered.

"That's like saying we're together." Karkat pointed out.

"Well, we are moirails."

Karkat took a deep breath. "We should take you back to the orphanage."

Jesse nodded and pressed a little closer to Karkat while John glanced between them. "It's this way." John stared at them for a second longer before turning away to led Karkat down the path.

They were quiet as they walked to the orphanage. They passed factories and run down houses before coming upon the only place that held a brightness to it. The orphanage was a large place with green grass and bright flowers outside. Karkat could tell people had put a lot of work into making the place look like a safe, warm, inviting home.

"Since we were all technically orphans, we put a lot of effort into making this place as nice as possible." John pointed out as they came around the open metal gate that surrounded the front of the large building.

Jesse stuck to Karkat's side as they passed through the gate and came upon the staircase that lead to the large double doors. The troll kept a tight hold on the human boy as they entered, John holding to door open for them. The walls were clean and the floor was shiny. It was a drastic change from the rest of Industrial but the air was warm and eased Karkat's worries. John led them up another flight of stairs, passed what looked to be a large eating room and a library before coming to a large room filled with children and an older woman standing by the window with a baby in her arms.

"Mrs. Bach!" John called with a smile as he approached the older woman.

"John? Is that you?" She greeted with a warm smile, moving away from the window to greet him. "Why, dear, It's been ages."

"Over a year." He chuckled as he stepped up to her, peering at the baby in his arms. "How are you?"

"Well. Things are going well here. What brings you by?"

John turned back toward Karkat who was standing in the doorway with a protective air around him while Jesse clung to him. "We ran into one of your kids."

Mrs. Bach's eyes widened and she approached Karkat quickly, still cradling the baby in her arms. "Oh, Jesse, dear, what's wrong? What happened?"

"You've got asshole kids, that's what happened." Karkat snapped softly, his chest swelling when Jesse buried his head in his neck.

"Karkat." John hurried to their side, his surprise at Karkat's words evident. "That's rude."

"No, what's rude, is asshole kids picking on the weakest member for no damn reason and yelling at him just cause he hurt himself." John could practically see Karkat prickle in anger as his crimson eyes narrowed.

Mrs. Bach didn't seem ruffled by Karkat's words. She leaned a bit closer, moving around Karkat to try and see Jesse's face. "Were Ron and the boys picking on you again?" Jesse just nodded while keeping his face hidden in Karkat's shoulder. She let out a heavy sigh as she shook her head. "I've talked to those boys so many times. There's only so much I can do. Kids handle losing their parents in different ways." She smiled at John as she handed the baby over to him. He was surprised at first but took the bundle gently so she could reach for Jesse. "I'm only one woman and there are over thirty children here. You must understand, there's only so much I can do."

Karkat bared his teeth at the woman without really meaning to. She flinched before dropping her hands to her sides. "I get that. I do. But that doesn't mean I'm happy about it."

"Karkat." John spoke softly, glancing up at the troll as he bounced the baby in his arms gently. "He's safe here. Mrs. Bach is a lovely woman and hopefully, soon, a nice family will come and adopt him. Unless..." He didn't need to say it. He just gave Karkat a smile of approval that left the troll feeling weak.

Karkat took a deep breath before he shifted so he could put Jesse down on his feet. The boy was reluctant to let go of the troll but Karkat dropped down to his level and grabbed his shoulders gently. "Listen, Kid. I want to take you home with me. I do. I want to give you a good warm home that you deserve because damn if you don't remind me of myself when I was your age."

Jesse's eyes were wide as he stared at Karkat. "But?"

"There is no but." He shrugged one shoulder.

Jesse couldn't seem to speak so he just stared at Karkat. John smiled and passed the baby back to Mrs. Bach before kneeling beside them, wrapping an arm around each of them. "Karkat's a great person, Jesse. He'll take really good care of you." There was something lingering in the back of John's mind, tugging at his emotional strings but he couldn't quite pick it out. There was something familiar about the way Karkat had held onto Jesse and something abruptly heartfelt about seeing Karkat treat the boy's wounds. They stuck out to John but he couldn't place his finger on why. Maybe cause it was just nice to see Karkat be so warm to someone other than him and Casey? John wasn't sure. Something told him it was deeper than that.

Karkat bit into his lower lip as he glanced at John. "What about our quests? I still want to do them with you."

"Ah!" Jesse leaned up on his toes, gaining their attention. "I'm a good boy! I-I can stay home and be a good boy!" There was excitement brimming from him as he grasped onto Karkat's arm. "I-I will! I'll be a good boy!"

Karkat took a deep breath before giving the boy a kind smile. Every instinct he was born with screamed at him to take the boy home. Jesse needed him and Karkat had the means to take care of him. John was on board with it and that gave him more confidence to go through with it. Jesse was roughly John's age when Karkat had to give him up and though John had found his way back to him without probably meaning to, Karkat still couldn't fight the urge to take Jesse home with him. It was the orphan in him. The little troll that lost his parents and had only his brother and a stranger to lean on. It was the young troll who was teased and picked on because of his stature and his lack of parents. It was how Karkat's heart filled with a specific type of warmth every time the boy looked at him, just like it did when he was around Casey. It was a parental instinct Karkat was born to always use and he so no reason to fight it. After all, leaving Jesse at the orphanage left a really bad taste in his mouth and he couldn't stand for that.

"We could leave him here until we come back." John offered. "He'll be taken care of and won't be alone." He pet the boy's dirty hair gently. "And then he can come back home with us. I bet Casey would be really happy to have a brother."

John was so gentle it made Karkat's teeth ache. The hero was special and understood him on a level that no one else had ever seemed to. Karkat crinkled his nose as he glanced to John and the hero understood with him having to say a word.

"Or, we could leave him with Rose while we're gone. We have only a few quests to do. Or I can go alone?"

"I'm going with you." Karkat responded quickly.

"I-I don't mind." Jesse cut in quickly, glancing between the troll and the hero. "I just... want to leave here."

Karkat and John nodded to one another before John moved to his feet. "I'm going to go ask Rose. I'll be back. We'll figure something out if that doesn't work." John gave Mrs. Bach a nod and planted a kiss to Karkat's cheek before he flew out the door.

"I... I'm really going home with you?" Jesse asked with wide tear-filled eyes.

"Yeah, kid." Karkat smiled softly as he ruffled his hair while standing up straight.

"Thank you!" Jesse wrapped his arms around Karkat in a tight hug that warmed the troll's heart.

"I make no promises that it'll be perfect." Karkat warned softly, resting his hand atop the boy's head. "John leaves often for quests and sometimes I go with him. I'd take you with us if we could, but it's dangerous where we go. Luckily, there are seven other heroes and Casey's mother Annabelle."

"I-I'm okay with that!" He nuzzled into Karkat's belly, clinging to the troll with all his might.

"You're a brave strong kid." The troll mumbled softly, the warm smile on his lips so comforting it made Mrs. Bach smile. "I don't have much to offer except a loving family and the best I'm capable of doing."

"I don't think a child needs much more than that." Mrs. Bach added in, a warm smile on her face as she looked Karkat over. "A loving, warm and safe home is the best thing a child could ever have." She adjusted the sleeping baby in her arms. "You've raised children before." She stated, no questioning in her tone whatsoever.

"Yes. How did you know?"

"I know the look." She smiled, glancing around the room at the few children playing about. Most of the older children were running around the rest of the house while the younger ones stayed in the room where Mrs. Bach could keep an eye on them. "You're the type of person I seek out for these children. They need good homes even though I do my best for them."

"Where I come from, orphan's aren't all that uncommon." He ran his fingers through Jesse's hair gently, not minding that the boy had yet to let him go. "I was one. I guess you can say my heart really goes out to them, you know? It's in my blood to take them in. It's what we do. Last time I did it, I had to give him up." He sighed, moving to run a hand through his hair only to be stopped by the hat on his head. He thought of John and a smile curled to his lips. "He found his way back to me though."

"They tend to." She smiled. "I've had many visit long after they found new homes. You never forget those who took the most care of you when you were little."

Her words stuck him to the core and he had a moment of panic. Did John remember? He really didn't seem to and John wasn't the type to lie to him. In fact, he was sure John had never lied to him. The hero had even confessed his feelings with the knowledge that Karkat might hate him for it. John wasn't capable of lying; Karkat was certain of that.

"Jesse is a good boy. He's quiet but he tries to fit in with the other boys." Mrs. Bach continued with a smile on her face. "I have full faith you and John will be a wonderful home for him."

"We have another child we take care of on occasion. Her name's Casey. John saved her from Hobbes once. Her mother is very kind and she's happy Casey has two men in her life. Casey's about his age." He stroked down the side of Jesse's face before the boy pulled away to look up at him.

"Where do you live?"

"John lives in Oakfield. It's a farming village." He smiled down at the boy. "It's pretty far from here and really different."

"But where do  _you_  live?"

"Ah. Well, I live in Alternia. It's not far from Oakfield though. Just a little trip through the woods. John spends more time at my house than his own really."

"Will I stay with you?"

"Yeah. It's a small cabin but we'll make do. There's plenty of land for you to play outside and I can get around to teaching you how to stand up for yourself." He gave a faint smile as he patted the boy's shoulder.

"Jesse." Mrs. Bach called softly. "Why don't you go get your things? I know you don't have much but I'm sure Mr. Karkat here would like you to bring them."

Green eyes brightened as he glanced from her to the troll. "Can I?"

"Of course."

"Okay!" There was a skip in his step as he ran off to gather his things from another room, a bright smile on his face.

"I wasn't sure if anyone would ever take him." Mrs. Bach spoke softly when she stepped up beside Karkat. "He lost his mother a few months ago."

"He's a nice kid."

"There's something you should know."

He perked a dark brow at her, shifting his eyes from the hallway to hers. "What?"

"Jesse..." Her face fell slightly and she shifted to focus on the sleeping baby in her arms. "He was found with his mother. She had been dead for a few weeks. He didn't understand and I'm not sure he does now either. He has nightmares about her. The boys tease him constantly about it because he wakes up crying for her."

Karkat's heart dropped into his stomach and he swallowed past the lump in his throat. "Fuck."

"I feel you will give him the stability he needs right now. The heroes are all wonderful people and I know he's in very capable hands with such a large family."

"I'll do everything I can to make sure he's okay."

"I know you will." She smiled as she walked away to tuck the sleeping baby away into one of the many bassinets in the room. "John as well. He used to spend a lot of his childhood here after he was found. He liked playing with the other children. He was such a strange boy but he's grown up so well."

"Strange how?" Karkat asked with a thumping heart.

"He didn't speak much and when he did, it was broken English. They found him in the woods, did you know?" She asked, turning to sit on the edge of on of the few beds in the room.

"Yeah. He told me."

"You two are quite close." She spoke with a knowing smile that made Karkat's mouth dry.

"Yeah."

"He was barely seven when he was brought here. It was temporary of course while the Lalonde's worked out a place for him to stay. He was in my care then and he was such a quiet child. But he was very polite. I found it hard to believe he was raised by wolves. And the strange language he spoke in." She smiled fondly, shaking her head. "He still spoke it when he left here. I wonder if he remembers."

"Strange language..." Karkat pondered, shifting to glance around the room at the children scattered about. "He's passionate about this place, isn't he?"

"Very much so. He and Roxy have spent a lot of time turning this orphanage into a pleasant place for the children."

"I'm all ready!" Jesse exclaimed as he returned to the room with a small leather satchel clutched in his hands.

Karkat turned to him with a warm smile as he dropped down to his level so he could help the boy put the little bag on his back with the shoulder straps through his arms. "I'll have to have a friend of mine make you some new clothes."

"That's very kind of you." Jesse spoke with a smile, turning back around to face Karkat once his bag was settled on his back. "I don't need much. Really! I don't want to trouble you." His face fell slightly as he shifted from foot to foot in a way that reminded Karkat of John when he was nervous.

The troll smiled, rolling his eyes as he quickly scooped the boy up into his arms. "Don't be silly. I'm going spoil you rotten. Just you wait." He teased as he pulled the boy to rest in his arms comfortably. Jesse giggled softly and let his head rest on Karkat's shoulder with his arms curled against his chest.

"Is it true?!" One of the boys from before exclaimed from the doorway, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open as he pointed at Karkat. "Is Jesse really going home with the monster?"

Mrs. Bach stepped forward, a stern look on her face as she scolded the boy. "It's not nice to call someone a monster, Conner. It's very rude indeed."

"But he's got fangs! And horns!" Another boy popped forward, the brunet who Karkat pegged as the leader.

"That does not make him a monster." Mrs. Bach informed them with a stern look.

"Yeah!" Jesse spoke up suddenly, leaning back from Karkat so he could look at the boys. "Karkat is the greatest! And he's my daddy now!"

"Why do you get a daddy?!" The leader boy, Ron, asked with his face contorted in some form of anger. "You've only been here a short time! I've been here a lot longer!"

"Let me tell you something, kid." Karkat cut in, stepped forward and making the other boys cringe. "No one wants an asshole for a kid." Mrs. Bach opened her mouth to cut in but Karkat continued. "I get that you're scared and I'm sure you're lonely. I know. I was an orphan too. All you want is love and a family, just like everyone else. But you're not going to get that if you act rude and bully other people." He shrugged one shoulder, adjusting his hold on Jesse. "If you want a family, act like it. Be kind to others and prove that you deserve love just like everyone else."

"And it's okay to cry." Jesse added in with a bright smile. "Crying doesn't make you weak! Wanting your mommy doesn't make you a baby!"

The two boys looked at one another before they ran off down the hallway without saying another word. Karkat perked a brow but gave Jesse's back a pat of approval. "Sorry." The troll apologized softly to the older woman who looked at him in slight surprise. "Wasn't really my place to say that stuff."

"No, it's quite alright. You put into words what I could not, albeit a bit rougher than I would have liked." She smiled at him, accepting his apology with a gentle pat to his arm.

"I think we'll go wait outside for John."

"I do hope you'll come back to visit sometime soon." She offered them a kind smile that made wrinkles around her eyes. "Have a lovely life, Jesse." She gave the boy a gentle pat on his back.

"Thank you for everything, Mrs. Bach." He nodded his head at her politely before resting it on Karkat's shoulder.

"Thanks."

"Be safe." She nodded, happy to see one of her children go to a good home.

Karkat didn't take his time in getting the hell out of that orphanage with Jesse in his arms. The place was nice but it made his instinct scream at him. He couldn't take all the kids no matter how badly he may have wanted and he had Jesse to focus on. Jesse, the sweet quiet kid that didn't want to be any trouble but really missed his mommy. Karkat had to laugh softly at their similarities.

"Do you want to play while we wait?" Karkat asked softly, moving to put Jesse down but the boy wrapped his legs tighter around him.

"No. I'm okay."

"I'd rather not leave you, you know. But I made a promise to John to go with him on these quests and it's something I've been wanting to do for a while. But I can't just leave you here." He explained softly, raising his eyes to the darkened sky. "Rose is a great woman and she'll be very kind to you. We'll take care of what we need to do and hurry back so we can take you home."

"I'm just happy to have a home." Jesse mumbled softly, letting his cheek rest against Karkat's shoulder as they stood near one of the bushes surrounding the building.

"You're a good kid, Jesse."

"Can I call you daddy?"

"What else would you call me?"

Jesse hummed softly, nuzzling against Karkat's shoulder. "I've never had a daddy."

"I had my brother and a father-like figure. You've got me and John now. And the other heroes. Plus Casey and her mother. That's a big family."

"I don't need a big family but I'm happy."

Karkat let out a breathless laugh as he rubbed a hand over the blond's back. He knew taking Jesse in was a big responsibility but it was something he was capable of. Something he wanted to do. Jesse needed a loving warm home that he was capable of giving him. Sure, he wasn't sure what was going to happen with him and John but no matter what, they would stay together and give Jesse a nice home to grow up in. It's all Karkat could have ever wanted. Raising a child with John. He paused as his train of through derailed into something he wasn't prepared for.  _Raising a child with John_. Could they be any more red?

"John!" Jesse perked up, his eyes focused on the blue blur in the sky making his way toward them. "Do I call him daddy too?"

"You can if you want." Karkat commented, not really sure how to answer.

"What does Casey call you?"

"Mr. Hero and Mr. Troll. Though, Her mother told John she calls me Papa Karkat when I'm not around."

"Papa... I can call you papa?" Jesse looked hopeful as he met Karkat's eyes.

"You can call me anything you want." The troll gave the boy's dirty cheek as soft nuzzle as they watched John float down toward them.

"Rose said yes!" John exclaimed, his smile bright and his face flushed as he landed on his feet. "She asked a bunch of questions and seemed really surprised that we adopted a kid together but she's happy to look after him while we handle the quests. She suggested we get a nanny but this is just temporary."

"He's ready to go, so let's go."

"Can I..." Jesse started but the words faded from his mouth when John's eyes landed on him. He quickly shook his head and buried his face in Karkat's neck.

John hummed softly, putting his hands on his hips as he peered at the boy. "You want to fly with me?"

Jesse gasped and glanced at John, keeping his face partially hidden in Karkat's neck. "C-Can I?"

"Of course you can!" John held his hands out to the boy, giving him the chance to come to him on his own. "Karkat flies with me too. We fly all over the place." Jesse watched for approval from Karkat before he reached for John with small hands. John grabbed the boy around the waist and pulled him close like he always did with Casey. "Now just hold on and let the wind embrace you." Jesse wrapped his legs around John's waist, careful of the weapons settled on his belt and glanced at Karkat.

"John knows what he's doing." He assured the blond even though his heart pounded in his chest. It was natural for him to feel anxious over a child. Especially one he claimed as his own. "Just, for fuck's sake, be careful."

"You know I'm careful." John flashed him a smile before he lifted into the air slowly. "If I go too high, just let me know. We can stay close to the ground if you get too scared."

"I'm okay." Jesse assured him, glancing to the ground as the raised in the air.

The wind reached out for Karkat and he let it wrap around him before he too lifted into the air. Jesse watched him with wide eyes before he glanced around at the ground. They lifted into the air, above the rooftops and away from the orphanage. Karkat took John's offered free hand and they took off through the city at a steady pace for Bowerstone. They stuck close together as they flew over the rooftops of Industrial and Jesse's eyes hardly ever left Karkat. He occasionally glanced at the ground or to the hands clasped together between them but there was something special about Karkat that he couldn't look away from.

The rooftops shifted from dark and dingy to bright and proper. There was a huge different between Industrial and Bowerstone Market and it was evident as soon as the air was easier to breathe. The sky was blue and Market was busy dealing with the evening rush. They didn't take their time in arriving to the Lalonde house and once they were on their feet again, John gave Jesse back to Karkat who was happy to take the boy.

"Rose!" John called as he opened the door to the home, holding it open for Karkat and Jesse to enter through.

"No need to shout, John." Rose replied from the kitchen. "Welcome back." She brushed her hands off on a towel before striding into the main room where Karkat stood while John shut the door.

"Hello Rose." Karkat greeted softly. "This is Jesse."

Violet eyes glanced between the three males in her home before she approached Karkat, her hands tucked behind her back. "Hello there. My name is Rose." Her voice was soft and her presence seemed to make the young boy relax. He pulled away from Karkat enough to give her a soft smile. "I hope you'll enjoy your time here with me."

"We really appreciate this, Rose." John stepped up beside Karkat, a smile on his lips as his hand moved to rest against the small of Karkat's back.

She glanced between the two of them with a knowing look gracing her lovely features. "I'm happy to be of help. As long as you don't mind if I teach him a little magic."

"Don't scare him."

"Will Kanaya be by?" Karkat butt in. "I was hoping I could get her to make some clothes for him. He doesn't have much."

"Oh, I could contact her, of course." Rose nodded, her dark painted lips curling into a gentle smile. "Are you hungry, dear?" She asked Jesse softly.

Jesse nodded, his hands still gripping Karkat's shirt tightly. "Yes, Please."

"How about I give you a bath first? And then you can eat and tell me all about yourself. We'll have some time to get to know each other."

"He hurt his knee." Karkat said as he put Jesse onto his feet gently. "It's not too bad but if you have anything for it, that'd be great."

Rose smiled, tilting her head at Karkat. "You never crossed me as the parental type, Karkat. John, of course but not you. Kanaya will be happy to hear you two have a child together."

"We have Casey." John pointed out.

"Yes but, Jesse here is  _yours_. This is a choice the two of you have made together and I'm happy for you. Congratulations."

"Jeeze, Rose. You make is sound like we got married." John muttered with a flush on his cheeks.

"Didn't you though?"

"We're moirails." Karkat reminded her, though the flush on his cheeks gave away more to her than he would have liked.

"I am aware." She nodded while reaching for the boy, putting a gentle hand over his shoulder. Jesse leaned into that touch and didn't hesitate to come to Rose's side. "I'll take good care of him, I promise."

"We'll be back as soon as we've finished the few quests."

"Ah, about that." Rose reached into her pocket and pulled out a small purple gem that was wrapped with a leather strap and turned into a necklace. "Keep this with you. It will allow me to communicate with you much like our necklaces do." She dropped it in John's outstretched hand carefully. "I passed on some of the quests to the others. Roxy is taking care of the slave traders as we speak. I need the two of you to deal with some nasty cave dwellers in Brightwood and then there's a rumor of something lurking in the forests of Mourningwood. Those should not take you too long since they are both near one another."

"Thanks Rose." John stuffed the gem into his pocket with a grateful smile.

"You are most welcome."

Karkat dropped down to Jesse's level and gave his hair a gentle pet. "We'll be back soon, okay?"

"I'll be a good boy." Jesse replied with a serious look on his face.

"I know you will."

The boy shifted from foot to foot before he reached for Karkat's face and planted a small kiss to his cheek. "Thank you for being my daddy."

Karkat's heart thumped as he nodded. "We'll have some serious family time when we get back, okay?"

"Mhm." Jesse gave him a bright smile before he turned to John and wrapped his arms around the hero's waist. "And thank you for being my papa too."

John blinked in slight surprise before his face melted into one of the warmest expressions Karkat had ever seen on the hero's face. He dropped to his knees and wrapped Jesse up in a tight up. "We'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too." Jesse nuzzled into John's hair before they pulled apart and he hurried back to Rose's side. "I'll be a good boy while papa and daddy are away."

John laughed as he moved to his feet long with Karkat. "Right. You'll be a good boy for Auntie Rose."

"Oh my I never thought I would be called that so soon." The apples of her cheeks flushed a soft color but her faint smile was warm as she rested a perfectly manicured hand on the boy's head. "Does that make Kanaya an Auntie too?" Her eyes lit up at the thought and it made John laugh.

"Yeah, I suppose it does." Karkat answered, glancing down to Jesse. "Auntie Kanaya is a troll like me. She's a very good friend of mine so she'll be very nice to you too." Jesse nodded in understanding. "Okay. Let's get going before I change my mind about leaving."

John snorted softly as he slipped an arm around Karkat's shoulder and gave his flushed cheek a kiss. "We have adventures waiting! And children waiting for our safe return!"

Karkat rolled his eyes as John moved them toward the door. "We'll be back as soon as we can."

"Be safe." Rose responded softly, giving them a gentle wave.

It pained Karkat to leave the boy behind but he knew it was for the best. Jesse was in good capable hands and though he was sure Rose was convinced the boy was proof of his and John's undying love for one another, Karkat didn't mind all that much. Because they did love each other. John was in love with him; he knew that. As for his feelings for John, well, that was something he was still working on. But he was getting there and he was sure once he told John the truth about their past, he would be able to figure out what his feelings for the hero really were. Or rather, he would be ready to accept them.

* * *

Brightwood was well known for its forests. Vast thick forests with trees taller than the eye could see. Along with Brightwood tower and the ruins of an ancient civilization scattered about. The place was beautiful and somewhere John had been to only a handful of times because Brightwood was peaceful. Sometimes they had to deal with bandits attacking the traveling merchants but for the most part, Brightwood was only forests and the animals that dwell within.

"Do you have any idea where this cave could be?" Karkat's voice drawled as he shifted through the forest floor, his eyes scanning about as if gauging how safe they were.

"Brightwood is mainly forests. There are only two caves that I know of and only one that's close enough to people to cause a problem. It's safe to assume that's the one we need to go to." John flicked his hand down the path where they had landed minutes before.

Karkat eyed the well worn dirt path before following it with John at his side. "Any idea what's in there?"

"Could be Hobbes though there's no children missing. Brightwood has had issues with Balverines before but they don't really dwell in caves. Hollow men too but it's just a cave. Traders used to use it to store their stocks as they travels from place to place. It was abandoned awhile ago so I'm not sure what could be causing a problem."

"Hollow men? Might as well get Asher then." Karkat rubbed his hands together before slipping them over the handles of his sickles. They rested against his sides, ready for battle and as he fingered the handle of one, he could remember how perfect they felt in his palm.

"That would take too long. We'd just have to take them out or hopefully, find the source before we have to kill too many."

"I wouldn't consider it killing." Karkat added in, crimson shifting to glance up at the hero beside him. He was once again reminded of how short he was with John walking beside him. The hero continued to grow and now sported a good five inches on the troll. "They are already dead."

"Yeah, I suppose that's true." John nodded in agreement. "It's more like setting the tormented souls free."

"Albion's fucked up." Karkat mumbled, hooking his claws into the belt around his waist. "The worst thing Alternia has are Drones and those are controlled by the king. Typically have to worry more about trolls than anything else."

"We have trolls, you know."

Karkat perked a dark brow as he glanced at John. "What?"

"We call them Trolls. Not sure what else to call them."

"I vaguely recall you mentioning this before."

"Yeah! They're really huge and pop out of the ground. There are earth trolls and stone trolls and water trolls. They're a bitch to fight cause they just fuck everything up around them. Actually, Drones look like them." John blinked in realization. "A lot like them."

"Could be the same thing. Wouldn't be surprising."

"Yeah but- Did you hear that?" John paused in his step, his eyes snapping to the cave within view down the path. Karkat stilled at his side for only a second before his shoulder's tensed and his body shifted into a defensive position.

"Well, doesn't  _that_  sound familiar." Karkat hissed softly, his eyes narrowing at the soft groaning sounds reaching his pointed ears.

"Damnit." John cursed softly as he tugged the hammer from his back free. The weight was familiar in his hands and though it had been a while since he had to use it he was ready. "Okay, hollow men always have a source. Usually it's a large spirit wisp. If you can find that, you can take them all out at once."

"Are you telling me to find the source?" Karkat questioned softly as they slowly made their way toward the mouth of the cave.

"Yeah. This will go faster if you hurry ahead and find it."

Karkat snorted softly. "Cause I'm faster than you?"

"Something like that."

They flashed one another soft smirks before Karkat took off, quick as a flash and disappeared into the mouth of the cave. John lifted in the air and sped after him. The darkness was overwhelming at first and the scent of musty earth was as familiar as the smell of Karkat's skin. A faint smirk curled to his lips as he flew through the cave, following the light at the end of the tunnel. The cave was larger than John expected and when he came to the main room, there was a sea of hollow men that made him stop in his tracks. He floated in the air, his eyes focused on the troll stuck in the middle of a horde of hollow men.

Karkat's lips pulled back in a threatening snarl as he gripped the sickles in both hands, his knees bent and his body ready to attack. The hollow men circled around him like prey before a few of them stumbled forward, their weapons high in the air and ready to attack. There was a flash of a smirk on Karkat's lips before he was gone. John watched in awe as Karkat slipped around the hollow men and caught two of them with each hooked sickle. There was a resounded growl as he flicked his wrists and the hollow men fell to the floor before disappearing into dust. Karkat didn't have time to catch his breath, however, and he moved quickly to take out those who dared tried to attack him.

John moved quickly once his brain decided to stop drooling over the impressive troll. He dropped to the ground behind Karkat, his hammer at the ready as their backs pressed together. "You need to find the source. I'll take care of them."

Karkat let out a hiss before he lunged forward and landed on one of the larger hollow men. John swung his hammer around and managed to knock out a handful of them before he had the chance to see Karkat straddle the large hollow man's head and slice it off with a sickle. Then the troll was in the air, pushing off the disappearing body to land on another one. He was efficient that was for sure, making his way toward the opening of another tunnel that was giving off a strange green light.

John focused on taking down as many hollow men as he could, his hammer being more efficient than anything else he had on him, aside from his magic. But his magic was still unstable and he didn't want to chance hurting Karkat by mistake. His hammer felt perfect in his hands, like an extension of himself and as he swung it around, hollow men crumbled to the floor. But it didn't take him long to notice something wasn't right. Almost as soon as they crumbled to the floor, they popped right back up. They were re-spawning somehow and that was not common for hollow men. They were not infinite. The source would eventually run dry and the production of hollow men would cease. But there were at least a hundred in the cave that John could see and that made him concerned.

"Karkat!" John pushed into the air just as the troll vanished down the brightly lit tunnel. "Shit." He cursed softy and quickly took after the troll, ignoring the hollow men on the ground that growled and groaned at him, shuffling to follow after him.

The bright green light led him down a tunnel where hollow men spurt up like flowers. He took them out easily enough but they just reappeared right behind him. He saw no point in fighting them so he flew around each one, narrowly avoiding a slice to his side once. His heart was pounding in slight panic as he flew faster and Karkat was no where to be seen.

Abruptly, he came upon an small open room where he came to a stop, his eyes wide at the hollow men surrounding Karkat. The troll stood with his back to the wall and a sickle in one hand while he held a strange book in the other. Crimson was focused on the open book in his hand but John knew he was ready to attack if need be. He quickly joined Karkat, landing on front of the troll as a sort of shield.

"This is controlling them." Karkat explained, his eyes flickering to the two human corpses by his feet. "Something tells me these assholes bit off more than they could chew."

"Is it the Normanomicon?" John asked, his breath coming in soft pants as he lifted his hammer with both hands, narrowing his eyes at the hollow men that just shuffled around them.

"Fuck it I know. This language is fucking crazy." Karkat shoved his sickle back into his belt so he could focus on the book. "There has to be a way to stop them in here."

"There is." John grit his teeth and moved quickly when one hollow man slipped forward and aimed for Karkat. His hammer smashed into the side of it's skull and it fell to the ground in a pile of dust. "Find it." He threw Karkat a glance over his shoulder before he launched in the air and landed in the middle of the horde.

Karkat clenched his fangs tightly as he tried to focus on the book, flipping through the pages to find something that would tell him how to stop them. He considered burning the book but he didn't have the means to do so and he thought that might not stop the horde anyway. The clever that came his way was quickly avoided and he sent a hard kick to the side of the hollow man's head that dared attack him. The skull went flying and the body turned to dust. He hissed and when he felt the wind suddenly wrap around his body, he didn't fight it. He lifted into the air, out of harms way and sent John a glance. The hero was much too busy to notice he was flying and Karkat vaguely wondered if the wind had reacted on it's own to protect him due to John's desire to keep him safe. The troll's heart dropped in his chest and swelled so tightly he almost couldn't breathe. He quickly shoved those thoughts away and turned back to the book in his hands. It was no time to start thinking about John's feelings. They had a job to finish.

By the time Karkat managed to find the summoning spell, John had taken out every hollow men at least once only to have them spawn back on him. They were not holding back and though John was a hero, Karkat was sure he still had his limits. A snarl came from his lips as he quickly flipped through the book in search for a spell to stop them. He came upon a page that looked brighter than the others and there was a series of X's over the top. It followed the summoning spell and there was a word that looked like "reverse" and it was the best he had.

Karkat read off the strange words loudly and the hollow men suddenly stopped moving beneath him. John paused, his hammer still in his hands as he glanced up at Karkat. He was vaguely surprised to see the troll floating in the air but the words flowed from those plump lips, surrounding the room like a beautiful song. The hollow men shifted toward Karkat, their weapons lowering before they were engulfed by a bright green light. John had to toss an arm over his eyes against the bright light and by the time Karkat's voice stopped, the cave was left in silence.

The light vanished along with the hollow men; as if they had never been there in the first place. Karkat let out a heavy sigh and dropped to the ground, snapping the book shut to hold against his chest. The head of John's hammer fell to the floor so the hero could lean on the staff, his heart pounding and his breath coming in heavy pants. He was a bit warn out but he couldn't help but smile at the troll who made his way over to him.

"You did it."

"Burn this." Karkat held the book out to the hero. "No one needs that power. This book is ridiculous. No one needs to be brought back from the dead." He tossed a glanced to the two young dead boys who had probably decided to mess with the book for fun.

"I say keep it. We can give it to Asher. He'll know what to do with it."

"Fine." Karkat sighed and stuffed the book into the bag at his side. "Let's get out of here. It's creepy as fuck."

John chuckled softly as he shifted to toss his hammer in the air and attach it to his back. "It's not that bad." He shifted to slip an arm around Karkat's shoulder's as the two of them moved to leave the cave. "I used to sleep in caves like this all the time."

"Why the grubfucking hell would you do that?"

John shrugged. "You get what you can get sometimes. I used to travel so much with Jake or Dave. Sometimes staying in caves were our only options."

Karkat crinkled his nose. "Animals."

"It wasn't that bad."

"We are not sleeping in a cave."

John snorted softly as he raised his hand to create a small blue ball of light. The main opening of the cave was nearly pitch black now that the hollow men were gone so he used his magic to light their path. "I didn't say we had to. I would like to rest though. Just for a little bit before we head off for Mourningwood. And maybe eat."

"We can rest for the night. No need to hurry that much. Jesse is fine with Rose."

John smiled as he leaned in to nuzzle into Karkat's hair. "I knew as soon as I saw you yell at those kids that you'd take him home with us."

"Is that a problem?"

"Not at all." John pulled back with a grin.

Karkat searched the hero's face for a moment before shrugging and turning to look out the mouth of the cave they approached. "You're a dork." The loving tone of his words just made John grin even wider.

* * *

The Brightwood Inn was a small quaint place with only a few traders as occupants and a lovely well-endowed keeper that looked at John in a way that made Karkat's blood boil. Their room was small but well kept and more than enough for them to rest the night away in. The food was edible and after getting their fill, they locked themselves away in their little room for the night.

John's hammer made a soft thunk when the hero placed it down to rest against the wall. He unbuckled his belt and carefully slid it off to rest on the floor beside his satchel. He kicked his boots off, tossed off his tunic and folded his glasses to rest on the nightstand before collapsing on the made bed that was more comfortable than it looked.

"Feeling better?" Karkat asked, busy with sorting his things on the small dresser. His bag rest by his feet and he fumbled with his sickles for a moment before resting them on the dresser.

"Oh, that food really hit the spot." John let out a soft moan as he laid flat on his back, letting his eyes slip shut.

"It wasn't too bad." Karkat agreed as he sat on the edge of the bed so he could remove his boots.

John shifted across the double sized bed to wrap an arm around Karkat's waist and rest his forehead against the troll's back. "You were pretty brilliant."

"Hm? With the book?" The troll questioned, unable to keep the proud little grin from his lips as he kicked his boots to the side.

"Yeah. We make a good team." He mumbled into the soft fabric of Karkat's shirt.

"We do." He agreed before shoving John's arm off him so he could lay down beside him.

John didn't waste time in wrapping his arms around the troll and pulling him close to his chest. Karkat nuzzled gently into John's neck, one hand moving to grip the arm around his waist. For a moment, they just laid together, breathing one another in and savoring the comfort of having the other there.

"What's in Mourningwood?" Karkat asked softly after a few moments of silence.

"I don't really know." John replied, nuzzling into soft dark hair.

"Isn't that where you were found?"

"Yeah. It's mostly woods and hollow men. There's a small village too and some soldiers at the fort. I'm not really sure what's out there. Maybe a troll?"

"You mean one of your huge gross drone looking things."

"Yeah." John laughed softly, planting a gentle kiss to Karkat's temple.

"If there are hollow men out there, how did you survive as just a baby?" He pressured gently.

"Not sure, honestly. They think I was raised by wolves but I don't know. I've dealt with wolves before and they'd much rather eat me than take care of me."

"So... What do you think?"

John let out a soft breath of air as his thumb started to brush gently over the exposed skin of Karkat's hip. "I don't know. Maybe there was someone who take care of me and they suddenly died or something. I couldn't speak cause I didn't know how to but I wasn't exactly lost."

"And you don't remember?"

"Nope. The farthest thing I remember is a soldier's face and it's kinda blurry for awhile. Rose thinks I might have been traumatized."

Karkat's eyes opened and he glanced at the hero resting on the same pillow. "What? Why?"

"Well, she said it's not that uncommon for people to forget things that happened to them when they were little to avoid the trauma it might cause to them. She thinks something really bad or something life changing happened to me and I've forced myself to forget." He shrugged one shoulder as his nose pressed into Karkat's fluffy hair. He had never thought too hard about his past because it always made him feel weary. It always caused that hole in his chest to twist in pain but now, there was no hole.

"Maybe you survived on your own."

"Doubt it." He sighed softly. "I always knew something happened to me cause I've always felt... I don't know. When I came to Bowerstone and Rose and Roxy took me in, I was happy. I had a family and they were very kind to me and I wasn't alone but, something felt wrong. I could never figure out what felt wrong. I just always had this sense that I wasn't exactly where I belonged which was strange cause, where better could I belong than with other heroes?" He let out a faint laugh that brushed over the curve of Karkat's pointed ear. "It's probably a little crazy to say this but... I don't feel that emptiness anymore. Cause of you."

Crimson glanced at John from the corner of his eyes. "John."

"I know. I know you're not ready and I respect that." John let his eyes slip shut as he just enjoyed the warmth of Karkat's body flowing into his. "I'm just saying that, you've given me something I never thought I would get. I thought I'd always feel that sense of longing. Like I was always searching for that one thing that would fill this emptiness and I found it in the last place I expected. You filled it long before I realized my feelings for you, Karkat."

Karkat swallowed hard against the lump in his throat and shifted, turning on his side to face John who slowly opened his crystal blue eyes. The troll slipped a hand over the hero's flushed cheek, his claws dipping into short raven hair as their eyes met. "Don't say sweet shit like that."

A tender smile curled to John's lips as his hand found home on Karkat's hip. "I wasn't meaning to. It's just the truth. You're home to me, Karkat. No matter where we are or what we're doing, you're home. Because nothing else gives me this warm throbbing feeling of contentment, love and happiness. Moirail, friend, or lover; it doesn't matter. As long as I'm with you, I could never ask for more."

"You assmouth, stop it." He mumbled, his eyes glazing over as a warm flush curled over his grey cheeks.

John leaned forward just enough so that their mouths were hardly touching. "You're my family. You're my home, my love, my reason and my strength. You fill the emptiness inside that I've had for as long as I can remember and that's more important to me than anything else."

"I said shut up." Karkat hissed without venom before closing the distance between them, their mouths pressing together to seal a kiss.

John's grip on Karkat's hip tightened as he pulled the troll just a bit closer, their bodies fitting together like two halves of a split rock. Karkat's legs fit between his while his hand curled in John's short raven hair, catching on strands to keep the hero's head right where he wanted it. Their lips slid together slowly and softly at first, tender and sweet. So sweet it made John's head spin and Karkat's heart to thump.

There was nothing pale about the way Karkat's tongue slid along John's lower lip. And there was nothing pale about the way John willing opened his mouth so the troll could dip inside without hesitation. John's body flared with heat that he held back, his hand gripping Karkat tighter as their tongue slid together shyly. Karkat released a soft breath that cascaded over John's mouth before he pressed closer, sealing their lips together once more. And then again. Over and over again, soft kisses that turned into something deeper. Something more that John wasn't prepared for but wasn't willing to stop.

John's hand slipped to rest over the small of Karkat's back, just above the curve of his buttocks and pushed the troll into him, their hips sliding together with a scrape of pleasure that left them a little breathless. Karkat's throat rumbled with a faint purr, his hand gripping John's hair tighter as he commanded John's mouth. It was far from pale and so much more than John could ever ask for.

Abruptly, Karkat pulled away, leaving his hand in John's hair but putting a few inches between their bodies. His crimson eyes were wide and his plump lips parted to let out puffs of air that made John shiver in arousal.

"I'm sorry." John was quick to apologize, swallowing hard as he tried to catch his breath. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."

"No." Karkat mumbled softly, his voice barely a whisper as he glanced down between them. "It's fine. I... Shit." He closed his eyes for just a second as a wave of arousal came over his body. Okay, he was aroused by John. That was new. He could practically feel John's arousal between them and that made him want to keep going. But they couldn't. They both knew they couldn't. Not now. It wasn't right. The timing was all wrong and Karkat still hadn't figured out his feelings yet. He couldn't be pale and red for John. Trolls just didn't work that way; besides, he was broken. Or, he thought he was broken but the burning warmth between his thighs proved that perhaps he wasn't as broken as he once thought.

"Forgive me." John whispered softly, angling his hips away from Karkat the best he could.

"I'm not... I'm not mad." Karkat mumbled quickly, opening his eyes to greet guilt-ridden blue. "I'm at fault as much as you."

"Does... that mean...?"

"I don't know what it means." Karkat sighed heavily, shaking his head as his hands dropped to press against John's bare chest while his head dipped down to nuzzle under his chin. "I'm sorry, John. I'm so sorry."

"Shhh." The hero shushed the troll, wrapping his arms around him quickly and giving his back soft strokes. "Don't be sorry. I agreed to wait for an answer and I don't intend to rush you. You'd never hurt me on purpose and I know that. Relax, Karkat, it's okay."

"You're too good for me." He mumbled into John's collarbone.

The hero let out a soft laugh. "I strongly disagree."

Karkat let out a soft snort and John settled with a smile as he pet Karkat's soft silky hair. They remained quiet for a while and John was sure Karkat had fallen asleep by the time the troll spoke up again. His body had settled and felt all kinds of warm with the troll in his arms. He was in the middle of dozing off when Karkat spoke.

"Really? A kiss is all it takes?"

"Hm?" John grunted, blinking his eyes open to stare down at the hair tickling along his jaw line.

"A kiss is all it takes to make a human come out?" Karkat's voice was soft but he seemed curious.

It took John a moment to realize what Karkat was even talking about. "Oh, uh, well. Not exactly?" His cheeks flushed darkly.

"Humans are so broken."

John snorted and nuzzled into Karkat's hair. "Maybe. What's it take to get yours to come out, huh?"

Karkat tensed for a second before he pulled back enough to look John in the eye. "Certainly more than a kiss."

"Well sometimes kisses are really nice and hey, it's you, what can I say?" A smile curled to his lips against his embarrassment because the look in Karkat's eyes was pure heat.

"Broken." Karkat reminded him, giving a roll of his eyes even though his cheeks were flushed.

"Uh-huh, you still didn't answer." John teased, nuzzling his nose into one of those flushed cheeks.

Karkat huffed softly, letting his eyes slip shut as a hand curled over John's shoulder. "Maybe you'll find out someday."

The air between them grew thick and for a second, Karkat wished for once in his fucking life he thought before his spoke. But when John pulled back, his blue eyes were darkened and swimming with emotion that made Karkat's body tingle with warmth.

John swallowed hard as he pressed their forehead's together, peering into Karkat's eyes as his hands settled over the troll's back. "I hope I do. I really hope I do."

Against the warmth swelling throughout his body, Karkat planted a soft kiss to John's lips and then duck his head under the hero's chin to hid his flushed face. John chuckled softly, rubbing over strong shoulder blades while he nuzzled into the troll's hair.

"You're so optimistic." Karkat mumbled.

"One can dream." He added softly, a smile on his lips as he held the troll close to his racing heart.

* * *

"So are we just going to fucking wander around aimlessly until we stumble upon something or what?" Karkat grumbled, tugging the borrowed tunic he wore tighter around his body. The air was cooler in Mourningwood and gave no sign that spring was on its way. Karkat had not packed for cold but luckily, John had a spare hero tunic with him that Karkat was happy to wear. It was warm and smelled like John.

"Rose wouldn't have sent us here unless there was a point." John reminded the troll as they moved through the trees. They had yet to run into a hollow men since the sun was still high in the sky and the village was somewhere to the north.

"Yeah, I get that, but are we wandering or what?"

John pressed his lips together as he came to a stop, his head leaning back as he searched the area around them. "Or what."

Karkat groaned as he tucked his hands under his arms. "It's cold, John. This feels pointless."

"No..." The hero shook his head, his eyes narrow as he moved toward a tree with some strange markings carved into it. They were familiar and as he ran his fingertips over them, there was a strange thump in his stomach. "Something's here."

"I don't sense anything."

"It's familiar. Come on." John motioned for the troll to follow him as he dipped between two trees and wandered off the path. Karkat gave a faint groan but he followed after John obediently. They moved through the trees and John walked like he knew exactly where he was going. It took Karkat a few minutes before he recognized the area around them as well and something deep in his stomach clawed at the inner lining. Something screamed at him to stop John but this was his chance. John was sensing something and if it went well, Karkat could finally tell John the truth.

"There." John said suddenly, stepping out from the tree line to motion to a cabin all on its own in the middle of the woods.

Karkat bit his lower lip as he came to stand beside John. "It's just a cabin?"

"There's a fire." John pointed out, motioning to the glowing in the windows.

Karkat perked a brow but gave a shrug. "So? You think some monster is just relaxing by the fire in a cabin? Come on, John."

"No, there's... Something."

And then the wind shifted, blowing into them and the scent that suddenly assaulted Karkat's nose made his sense go haywire. He knew that scent.

"I know this place." John chewed on the inside of his cheek as he glanced around, his eyes wide. "I know this place." He repeated.

"John..." Karkat started, his hand dipping into the pocket of his pants so his fingers could curl around the necklace he'd kept with him for a long time.

A twig snapped to their left and there was a rustling sound that suddenly but them on the defensive. But the person who came around the side of the cabin didn't notice them at first but the way Karkat's breath suddenly left him made John lift into the air in alarm.

It was a troll. The troll was focused on the small assortment of twigs in his grey hands as he moved to the door of his cabin. He was about Karkat's height, perhaps an inch or two taller, and his horns were nearly identical to Karkat's. In fact, there was a lot about him that was very similar to Karkat. The rounded face, the button nose, the shaggy black hair, the short horns. The troll was heavier than Karkat though, with plump thighs and a thick waist similar to Rose. He wore simple dark pants and a red sweater that was two or three sizes too big for him.

The troll suddenly paused in his step, his head lifting in the air as he sniffed before those stunning garnet eyes were on John and Karkat. The air stilled for a fraction of a second before the twigs in his hands fumbled to the ground and Karkat was gone. John hissed, his eyes wide and his heart pounding as he watched Karkat run from once side of the leaf covered clearing to the other. Neither troll said a word. Karkat slammed into the others body rather hard but they did not fall or stumble. They wrapped arms around one another in a tight embrace that made John return to the ground.

"Karkat." The troll mumbled softly, his voice light and soft as he closed his eyes to nuzzle his horn against Karkat's. "Oh, it's really you."

" _Shit_." Karkat cursed, grabbing the troll's shoulders as he pulled away to meet those garnet eyes. "What the hell Kankri?"

Kankri. John blinked in surprise as he stood a few feet away. Kankri was the name of Karkat's brother, John realized. No wonder they looked so much alike.

"I could ask you the same thing." Kankri searched Karkat's face before his eyes shifted to John. "What are you doing here?"

"What are  _you_  doing here?"

Kankri crinkled his nose at the question but didn't remove his hands from his brother's waist. "I left Alternia not long after you. I searched for you but that searched ended here. I couldn't find out where you had gone after here. So, we stayed."

"We?"

Garnet turned sour and a bit sad as he glanced to the ground. "Cronus."

"He really was with you? Eridan said you two disappeared after I left. What the hell, Kankri? What were you thinking?"

"I beg your pardon." Kankri hissed softly, his claws tightening on his brother's waist. "You are the one who abruptly left without so much as a farewell."

Karkat's heart dropped in his stomach as guilt flushed through his body. "Right... I'm sorry."

"You should be." Kankri nodded but his expression softened as he peered into his brother's face. "Are you alright? I was so worried about you..."

"I'm fine. I'm fine." Karkat wrapped his arms around his brother once again, pulling them close into a tight embrace. "I'm sorry I left like that. I'm sorry, Kankri."

"It's alright." Kankri ran his hands over Karkat's back gently, soothingly. "I'm just happy to find you are safe and well."

"You've been here this whole time?" Karkat asked, pulling back to meet garnet eyes.

"No. Cronus and I explored for a while. We were not sure where you went but your scent led to Albion. We lost it for a while after that. It was roughly ten years ago when we ended up here." Kankri glanced over to John. "Would you like to come inside? It's a bit chilly. I can make some tea."

"Oh." Karkat released his brother and motioned for John to come over. The hero did as was asked, slipping his hand into Karkat's offered hand. "Kankri, this is John. John, this is my brother, Kankri."

"It's a pleasure to meet you." Kankri offered a faint smile and his hand that John took with a smile.

"It's really nice to meet you too. I've heard a lot about you."

"All good I do so hope." His smile was genuine as he released John's hand and turned back to Karkat. "Please do come in."

Karkat could feel something tense in John's stature and he was sure it had to do with the strange familiarity surrounding him. "Thanks." He gave a nod and they followed Kankri into the small cabin they had all called home at one point. "Where's Cronus?"

Kankri paused once they were inside and he shrugged tense shoulders. "He left me some time ago."

Karkat perked a brow as John shut the door behind them. "What do you mean he left you? Where the hell is he?"

"I'm not sure." Kankri answered honestly, moving to the small kitchen to start some water for tea. "I assumed he returned to Alternia."

Karkat glanced between John and Kankri. "Eridan said Cronus left with you and he's not been back."

Kankri's spine straightened as he glanced at Karkat over his shoulder. "Is that so?"

"Yeah."

"Does that mean you returned to Alternia?" Kankri shifted to put the kettle on the small stove, his back to the other two.

"Not exactly. I'm living on the border. Near Oakfield. I've been living there for about twelve sweeps now."

"Oh?" Kankri shifted to face them once again, stuffing his hands into the sleeves of his sweater as he leaned against the counter. "I wish I had known."

"Kankri... You've been here by yourself?" Karkat sounded concerned for his brother so John placed a gentle comforting hand on the troll's back.

"It's not been so bad. Peaceful for sure. I can see why you stayed here for some time." Kankri's smile was soft but a little broken and it drove Karkat up a wall. There was something wrong with his brother. It had been so long since they had seen on another but Kankri was still Kankri and the broken look in his eyes was not Kankri.

"Why did he leave you?" There was a faint snarl in Karkat's tone that made Kankri blink.

"I'm sorry?"

"Why did Cronus leave you? What the hell was his problem? Leaving you out here all by yourself? That's fucked up."

"Karkat." John's voice was soft, his hand warm as it rubbed over the troll's back.

"No, it's quite alright." Kankri gave John a nod. "We had a disagreement. Cronus is a full-blooded troll after it. It was foolish of us to ever believe a full four-quadrant relationship could work."

"Full blooded... What does that have to do with anything?"

"Please, sit." Kankri motioned to the small table that had just enough chairs for all three of them. With a small push from John, Karkat sat down and John settled down beside him. "We've just found each other, why don't we talk about something pleasant?"

Karkat wasn't willing to let it go that easily but he gave his brother a moment to clear his mind. "John's my moirail."

Kankri blinked in surprise as he glanced between them. "Is that so?" A genuine smile curled to his lips. "Congratulations. I mean no offense, but a human does suit you much better, Karkat. It's in our blood, after all."

"Yeah, John's pretty great actually-Wait, what do you mean it's in our blood?" Karkat's eyebrows shot up as he leaned forward, peering at his brother.

"I... Never did tell you, did I?"

"Is this a family thing? Should I leave you two alone?" John asked, concerned as he glanced between the two Vantas brothers.

"You are family." Karkat snapped softly, giving John's hand a pat before he turned back to Kankri with a look that screamed, "well?".

"I... suppose there is no easy way to say this so forgive me if I come off rather bluntly." Kankri sunk into the thick collar of his sweater as garnet met crimson. "We're part human, Karkat. It is what makes us so different and gives us their blood color."

"What." Karkat breathed flatly.

"Our mother was human. I suppose, now, you may understand why we were looked so down upon, especially in the rule of the Grand Highblood, he who hates humans with all his might." Kankri's voice was soft and flowed like a river and turned everything Karkat had ever known upside down.

"Are you  _fucking_ serious?" He gasped, crimson eyes wide as he stared at his brother.

"I'm afraid so. I always meant to tell you but... things became very complicated and you were gone before I had the chance."

"I have... human blood in my veins." Karkat mumbled, leaning back in the wooden chair while John's hand slipped along the back of his neck to rub soothingly.

"I don't believe there are many like us. But we seem to take on the outward appeared of trolls while our hearts and blood remain similar to that of humans." Kankri explained as the kettle alerted him. He spun around to set to work on tea for them before he continued. "You may find that is why any relationships you've previously experienced never seemed as full-filling as you thought they should have been."

It was like everything suddenly made sense to Karkat. He was part human and thus had a human heart. Humans did not have quadrants so that meant that Karkat did not have quadrants in his heart. No wonder his feelings for John continued to mesh into different quadrants. He didn't have them. He just had his heart. A heart that cared for John more deeply than anyone else. His throat felt thick and when he swallowed, his mouth felt dry. This was a new development he was not prepared for.

"Wow." John mumbled softly. "That's really interesting."

"Trolls have quadrants." Kankri continued as he poured water into separate cups for their tea. "They have a distinct separation in their hearts while we do not, much like humans. That is why Cronus left. We were too different. It didn't work. I'm not sure where he has gone but I do hope he's safe." Kankri turned to them and placed the warm tea on the table for them before joining them. "But, that's enough about sad old things. Please, tell me how you have been Karkat. I've worried for you."

Karkat swallowed as he picked up the tea cup and brought it to his lips to try and moisten his dry mouth. "Fine. More than fine, actually. Good. Things have been really good." He glanced at John who just smiled at him though his eyes kept trailing over the cabin with a sense of familiarity.

"That makes me very glad." Kankri smiled, his fangs larger and sharper than Karkat's but they were only seen for a second before he sipped his tea. "I take it you are good to my brother." Garnet focused on John who quickly met them.

"I do my best."

"John's very good to me." Karkat assured his brother and the weight in his pocket suddenly felt much too heavy. "But really, Kan, haven't you drove yourself nuts out here? There's nothing to do."

"I've done alright. You stayed here, you must have seen something."

"I did." Karkat swallowed hard. "A child."

Kankri's eyes widened a fraction. "Pardon?"

With a heavy sigh, Karkat leaned back in his seat and dug into his pocket to tug out the beautiful blue necklace that bore John's symbol. "When I left Alternia, I had no where to go and I didn't know what to do with myself." He placed the necklace gently on the table and when John's eyes landed on it, the hero's mind went blank and his heart leaped in his throat. "I ended up here where I found a young baby crying out for it's mother. He was alone and lost and I..." Karkat shifted his eyes away from the table to meet John's swirling blue. The hero was frozen, tears pooling in his eyes as he glanced between the necklace and Karkat. "I'm sorry, John." He mumbled quickly. "I've been meaning to tell you..."

Kankri watched in concern but stayed out of it, sipping his tea quietly. John's breath came hard and it took more effort than he thought to reach out and run his fingertips over the necklace. It lit up with a bright blue glow that overtook John's mind.

Memories flowed back like a tidal wave, knocking the hero off his figurative feet and left his mind spinning. Crimson eyes, beautiful and loving and warm, holding him, comforting him, keeping him safe. As they always had done. Flashes of childhood he never remembered but it suddenly all made sense. John was not raised by wolves. He was raised by Karkat. Karkat, the kind troll who took him in as a defenseless baby and raised him until he knew it was time to let him go. The tears that suddenly fell down John's cheeks startled Karkat and the troll reached forward quickly to brush them away with his thumb.

"John?" He spoke cautiously, his thumb pausing over a flushed wet cheek as those blue eyes stared wide eyed at him.

"How..." John swallowed hard, his voice barely a whisper. "Have you known all along?"

"No... I didn't know for a while. I suspected and then... I saw the mark on your back and I just knew. I didn't know how to tell you. You didn't remember and I-Umf!" Karkat's rambling came to a halt when John wrapped his arms around the troll tightly and pulled him close, nearly out of his chair and into the hero's lap.

"Karkat." John mumbled, a smile on his lips and tears coming from his eyes as he nuzzled into Karkat's dark hair. " _Karkat_. How could I ever forget you?"

"I told you to forget." Karkat shifted to press his chin against John's shoulder and glanced at the side of his head. "A troll raised you. You didn't need to be going around saying that and having people think you're crazy." His claws curled into the sides of John's tunic as the hero held him tightly.

" _Karkat_." He practically purred the name and the hurricane of emotions that flowed through him left him with nothing but pure happiness. No wonder Karkat filled the void in his heart. Karkat had always belonged there. He created that little space and once he was gone, it was left empty until John found him again. " _Ngiye ngaphuthelwa wena_."

The softly spoken Alternian words made Karkat's entire body light with warmth and Kankri nearly chocked on his tea. " _Fuck_." Karkat mumbled, pressing close into John's neck to return the sentiment. "You remember. Holy hell you remember.  _Siyabonga umenzi."_

John chuckled softly, tears falling from his eyes as he nuzzled into Karkat's hair. "You should have said something earlier. I knew there was a reason I was so in love with you."

Karkat's flushed red to the tip of his ears but his heart was brimming with emotion and he didn't mind if Kankri was watching them with wide eyes. "I was never sure how to bring it up."

John pulled back abruptly and grabbed Karkat's face between his hands before kissing the troll with every ounce of feeling he had to give. Karkat was startled at first, his claws loosening against John's tunic before his eyes slipped shut and he leaned into the kiss, gripping John tighter. The kiss spoke a thousand words neither of them could ever manage to say but at the root was pure love.

When John finally pulled away, his breath coming in soft pants, Karkat gave him a tender smile as he reached for the necklace. He fumbled with it for a few seconds before he slipped it over John's head so it could dangle against his chest.

"You gave it to me when I left." Karkat spoke softly, rubbing the tips of his claws over the chain.

"I remember." John smiled so wide his cheeks hurt but he couldn't stop. Everything finally made sense. He loved Karkat before, wholeheartedly and completely. But this;  _this_ was different. In the best way possible. He leaned forward to rub their noses together much like Karkat would do to him when he was younger.  _He finally remembered._ He had always known. It was always lingering in the back of his mind but there was something keeping him from remembering. Maybe it was Karkat's voice echoing in his mind, telling him to forget. But it didn't matter any more. He had his troll back and Karkat was all his. "You kept it."

"Course I did." Karkat scoffed softly, rolling his eyes even though there was a warm smile on his plump lips.

Kankri watched with an amused smile on his lips, sipping his tea as he glanced between the two. There was something about his brother's smile that made his heart swell with happiness. It took a moment for them to remember he was there and once they caught him staring, both flushed to their hairline.

"My apologizes. I did not mean to listen in." He spoke kindly as he placed his cup on the table.

Karkat took a deep breath as he pulled away from John to settle in his chair. Their hands found one another under the table and curled together as Karkat tried to focus on his brother. "Sorry."

Kankri shook his head and waved a dismissing hand. "I'm happy to see you so happy, Karkat."

"What do you think about coming back with us?" John pondered aloud and flinched when Karkat squeezed his hand a bit too tight.

Kankri glanced between them in slight surprise. "To Oakfield?"

"I can't leave you here all by yourself." Karkat admitted softly, glancing up at his brother shyly. "It's not much but I have a home. You can stay with me until we can find your own place."

"We could build him one." John offered. "Unless you two want to move into Oakfield."

Karkat shook his head. "There's plenty of room where I live to build another cabin."

"I... You are both very kind." Kankri's cheeks flushed a soft color as he ducked his chin into his sweater, his garnet eyes focusing on the table. "I would... very much like that. If it would not be too much of a bother, of course."

Karkat wasn't shy when he reached across the table and grabbed his brother's hand. Their eyes met and they shared a soft smile. "Come home with us."

Kankri nodded slowly, hiding his smile in his sweater as he gripped his brother's hand tightly.

* * *

"I hope Kankri's alright with Casey and Annabelle." John mumbled softly once their feet hit the ground of Bowerstone Market.

Karkat shrugged, tugging on the pauper's hat over his horns as they started to walk toward the Lalonde home. "Kankri's great at adapting to new things. Casey sure was really happy to meet him. We'll have to work on his home when we get back."

"Casey's happy to meet anyone." John chuckled softly, slipping his hand into Karkat's effortlessly. "The bigger family she has, the happier. Now she has another uncle. Kankri's pretty good with her too."

"He raised me." Karkat pointed out. "I don't know if it's in our blood or what." He shook his head. "But we're just really good with kids."

"How do you feel?" John asked, nudging Karkat with his shoulder.

"I could ask you the same." He cut his eyes at the hero.

"I feel amazing. More than amazing. Words can not describe it. We adopted a child together who we are about to bring home. We found your brother who is pretty amazing and then, wow, Karkat." He chuckled softly, his eyes sparkling with happiness as he pulled the troll a bit closer with their entangled hands and planted a kiss to his cheek. "Things finally fell into place for me. I know about my past and it just solidifies everything I've felt."

"I'm just glad you weren't mad at me."

"How could I be mad? It's such great news. Wow."

Karkat snorted softly as he nudged John with his shoulder. "You really are such a dork."

"A dork you have children with." He reminded the troll, causing a flush of heat to flow to their faces as they approached the Lalonde home.

"Shut up." Karkat grumbled as he stepped forward to knock on the door.

A moment later Rose opened the door with a warm smile on her face. "Hello boys."

"Hey Rose." John greeted with a grin.

"Hello Rose."

"How was the trip?" She asked as she moved away from the door to let them inside.

"Eventful." Karkat stated as he entered the home, his eyes scanning about for the boy he decided to call his own.

"I have so much to tell you, Rose!" John gushed, engulfing her in a gentle hug that she returned with a pat to his back.

The boy who say on the small couch by the stairs barely looked like the child Karkat recalled leaving behind. It was amazing what a good bath and some good food could do to a person. Jesse slid off the couch slowly, his eyes wide and slightly fearful as he watched Karkat. His blond hair was almost the same color as Rose's and the clothes he wore were new and fit him perfectly.

"Hey." Karkat greeted, stepping forward with his arms open to the boy. Jesse didn't hesitate at the invitation. He ran to Karkat and wrapped his arms around the troll's waist tightly, nuzzling his face into his stomach. Karkat smiled softly as he wrapped his arms around the boy the best he could given the position. "Hey, we're back. Did you have a nice time?"

Jesse nodded before tilting his head back to look up at him. "Auntie Rose and Auntie Kanaya were very kind to me."

"He's a very well-behaved child." Rose admitted softly, giving John's arm a pat once he released her. "He spent most of his time reading my books."

"Oh, he and Karkat will get along just fine." John laughed.

"I hope they weren't bad ones." Karkat sent Rose a soft glare that the woman smiled at.

"Of course not."

"Are we going home now, daddy?" Jesse asked softly, his eyes hopeful.

"Yes." Karkat dipped down and picked up the boy effortlessly. "My brother is waiting for us."

"Brother?" Rose perked a brow as she glanced to John.

"I said there was a lot to tell you." He replied with a shrug.

"I suppose that can wait. There are some more clothes Kanaya made but she has more plans." Rose explained as she moved into the kitchen to grab a bag that was resting in one of the chairs. "There are a few outfits but she's so excited to have a nephew so she went a little overboard." She handed the bag over to John. "She also made a few things for Casey."

"Please thank her for us the next time you see her." John slipped the bag over his arm with a smile.

"Of course." She glanced between the two as John stepped up to Karkat and put a gentle hand over the back of Jesse's head to greet him. "John."

"Hm?" He glanced up at her, letting his hand drop to Jesse's back.

"You have a lovely family." She commented with a genuine smile on her dark painted lips.

John and Karkat glanced at one another before John nodded at her, a warm smile on his lips. "Thank you, Rose."

"Have a safe trip."

"I'll talk to you soon." John told her as he led his little family to the door.

"I hope so." She followed them to the door and stood in the doorway as they stepped out onto the street.

"Can I fly with daddy?" Jesse asked softly, glancing between John and Karkat.

"Which one of us is daddy?" John asked, perking a brow at the boy.

"You're papa." Jesse said with a soft grin, pointing at John.

John smiled and ruffled the blond's soft hair. "Alright. You fly with daddy. I'll carry your things." He lifted into the air and not a second later, Karkat followed him. Jesse kept a tight hold on his new father as they lifted into the air and set of for a place he could truly call home; A place they all called home with a warm loving family. What more could anyone want?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's a thing that just happened. A lot of things, huh? All stuffed into a short period of time. They adopted a kid together, Kankri showed up and oh what, KARKAT FINALLY TOLD JOHN THE TRUTH ABOUT HIS CHILDHOOD. I've been waiting for this chapter and I'm so glad it's finally out!!!! (Also, I wasn't exactly sure how to end this chapter so forgive me for that.) 
> 
> Also, a little comment about the 200k, I want to thank all of you for sticking around this long. I know it's quite ambitious to take on a fic this long that's not even finished but you guys have stuck by me and not given up, which is why I haven't even considered giving up on this story! It will be finished and I can't wait for that to happen cause I just know it's going to be awesome. Thank you again for sticking around and if you're new to reading WITS, well thanks for coming around!
> 
> Side note, the Alternian they speak is actually Zulu through google translate? It's probably way off but I just wanted something. "Ngiye ngaphuthelwa wena" means "I have missed you." and then "Siyabonga umenzi" means "Thank maker" which is like "thank god". 
> 
> Thanks for reading the chapter! Be sure to leave a kudo if you really enjoyed it or if it's your first time around or if you haven't clicked that little button yet. Comments are always appreciated too since you can only kudo a chapter fic once!
> 
> Thanks again!!!
> 
> ~Addy~


	18. Month 11 - April: Part 1 - Happy Birthday John!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look what I finally got around to finishing ey? I'm so in love with this story I swear oh my goodness. 
> 
> Some mood music [here](https://youtu.be/q9ayN39xmsI), [here](https://youtu.be/6wBzR7zhA0g), and [here](https://youtu.be/w8V2aR1rxYo)
> 
> Also, I thought I should bring [this](https://youtu.be/aLBrteWONuo) song back because it felt appropriate for the chapter.
> 
> Anything that is bold and italicized is Alternian language, alright? 
> 
> Enjoy!

_Heart beats fast_

_Colors and promises_

_How to be brave_

_How can I love when I'm afraid to fall?_

_But watching you stand alone_

_All of my doubt_

_Suddenly goes away somehow_

_One step closer_

* * *

Being alone for close to thirteen years gave Karkat the time to reflect on everything he had ever done in his life. One of those things had been leaving Kankri behind. The troll was his brother; his flesh and blood and the only troll he had after their lusus left them. There had been times in his youth that Karkat couldn't stand Kankri and his self-righteous ways. They fought tooth and nail over certain things because Karkat was a growing troll and Kankri was too reserved for Karkat's liking. But things changed when Kankri went to work at the castle.

It hadn't been by chance. Kankri had been working most of his life to make some sort of difference in the world. He was never keen on the revolution so he sought out different ways to handle their situation; no matter how hopeless they were. Kankri hated violence and the last thing he wanted to see was his precious little brother ripped to shreds because they threw themselves into a revolution they were not prepared for. The brothers fought about it constantly and it nearly tore them apart because Karkat was angry Kankri didn't understand what it meant to him to revolt and Kankri was upset that Karkat was so willing to throw himself into danger.

Working under The Grand Highblood was the biggest risk Kankri could have ever taken. The offer came in just before Karkat reached the age of adulthood and Kankri took it without even discussing it over with his brother. Karkat was floored. Working at the castle meant a higher chance of Kankri getting caught for what he was. It was exceptionally dangerous and, in Karkat's opinion, plain stupid. But Kankri went and Karkat never saw him again. He received letters from his brother often but he never saw him until he ran into him again sweeps later in the forests of Mourningwood with John.

As far as Karkat was aware, Kankri went to the castle as a way of support. He knew the insides and outs of that castle and if they needed a full map of how to get inside, Kankri could provide it. He was helping the revolution and yet still trying to find other ways. But his letters soon became less and less and something changed Kankri in that castle. Karkat didn't know what it was and he certainly didn't want to ask given he just found his brother again, but it bugged him.

Crimson eyes watched with a hint of confusion as Kankri smiled softly at John, listening to the hero's story intently as they circled the brand new cabin they had built for the plump troll. Kankri had always been a little plumper than the rest of the trolls but he had gained weight since Karkat last saw him, though his body held it well. He focused on the way Kankri moved and something just felt off about it. He was too tense at times and anytime John stepped too close, Kankri would shrink away with an apologetic smile on his face that John hardly noticed. His eyes hardly met John's directly and he was acting like a submissive little bitch. It bothered the hell out of Karkat cause that was not the brother he remembered.

Sure, Kankri didn't act that way around him. In fact, the older Vantas seemed to be unable to keep his eyes from Karkat, almost like he was in disbelief that Karkat was real and in front of him. He touched Karkat as often as he could and there was a warm sense of contentment anytime they touched. They finally found one another and after being apart for so long, it felt nice to be together. But they had not found much time to talk about the things that had happened to them over time. Karkat managed to explain to Kankri exactly why he left but Kankri had yet to explain anything that happened at the castle or even why Cronus really left him.

There were so many unanswered questions and anytime Karkat tried to bring them up, Kankri was quick to ease the subject into something else. Usually involving John and that was enough to make Karkat back off. He didn't want to push his brother but fuck was he concerned. Something was off about Kankri and he just couldn't figure out what. Yeah, Kankri was suffering from a broken heart, that was obvious but that didn't explain the way he acted around John. Almost like, he was afraid of the bright dorky hero and that was just absurd to Karkat.

"Are you angry?" Jesse's voice was light by Karkat's ear as the young boy settled on the grass beside the troll.

Karkat hummed softly, tearing his eyes away from John and Kankri to focus on the bright eyes of the boy he was happy to call his own. "I'm not angry."

Jesse pushed his lips around as he settled on his knees beside Karkat and let his shoulder lean against the troll's arm. His green eyes followed John and Kankri as he tilted his head to the side. "You look angry."

"I'm not." He spoke softly, reaching out to brush blond bangs out of Jesse's face. The boy needed a haircut. Maybe Annabelle could give him one before they left for Bowerstone in a few days. They had just managed to finished Kankri's little cabin that sat beautifully on the other side of Karkat's blooming flowers. They were close but far enough away for a certain amount of privacy.

"Papa loves you." The boy reminded him softly with a smile on his face as he leaned into Karkat's touch.

A faint flush crossed over Karkat's cheeks and he glanced away from the boy quickly. "It's not that. Just a bit concerned about Kankri, that's all."

Blond eyebrows shot up and Jesse's spine straightened in alarm. "What's wrong with Uncle Kankri?"

"Nothing. Not that I know. But..." He shook his head and ruffled the boy's hair. "Don't worry about it. Just thinking too much."

"You do that a lot." Jesse pointed out as he flopped down in Karkat's lap, taking pointers from a certain raven haired hero on how to be absolutely cute enough to melt a troll's heart.

"I never thought the day would come when I would see you as a lusus." Kankri's voice was light and tender as he knelt down beside Karkat, giving Jesse a small smile that was returned broadly.

Karkat snorted as his claws dipped into blond hair, petting softly as Jesse curled against his thigh. "It's instilled in my DNA."

Kankri smiled fondly, his garnet eyes shifting from Jesse to Karkat before he settled back on his knees, folding his hands in his lap as he looked up at the clear sky. "So it is."

"Papa!" Jesse rolled out of Karkat's lap and jumped to his feet when John approached them, a big grin on his face.

John's eyes lit up at the little blond boy that ran at him and he didn't hesitate to pick the boy up and twirl him around much like he would do with Casey. "Jesse!" He called with laughter, hugging the boy to his chest like he hadn't just seen the boy five minutes ago.

"Can we fly?" Jesse asked suddenly, pulling back to look John in the eyes with a hopeful grin on his face.

John didn't answer, just split into a grin and lifted into the air with a giggling little boy in arms. Karkat smiled fondly at the two of them and didn't notice how fondly Kankri was watching him. They flew in the air and dipped all around as Karkat watched with a careful eye.

"I don't believe I have words that can describe how happy I am for you." Kankri spoke softly, his hand finding its way to Karkat's forearm like it usually did.

"I'm sorry." The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them and Kankri's hand tensed on his arm. "That I left without seeing you."

"It's alright." Kankri let out a soft sigh as his fingers curled around Karkat's wrist and held on. "You did what you felt was best at the time."

He snorted softly, rolling his eyes till they could meet garnet. "Twenty sweeps ago you would have chastised me for leaving abruptly in such a dangerous situation."

There was a flash of something in garnet eyes that Karkat couldn't recognize. "Twenty sweeps is a long time, Karkat."

"The fuck happened to you, Kankri?" Karkat asked without hesitation, a look of concern frittering across his face as he shifted to turn toward his brother. "I'm not that young naive troll I used to be. Something's off with you. What is it? It is Cronus?"

Kankri flinched at the name and Karkat immediately regretted asking. But he didn't take his question back and waited patiently for Kankri to form some type of answer. The plump troll released a heavy sigh as his eyes slipped shut and he turned his face away from Karkat. His claws tightened around Karkat's wrist for a split second before he loosened his hold and opened his eyes to the sky.

"I don't believe I have an accurate answer to your question." Garnet cut to the side to meet crimson. "You have changed as well, Karkat. Very much so. I'm proud of you. I was sure I would never get the chance to see you again."

That thought pained Karkat. Yes, he felt guilty for leaving his brother behind. Kankri lived in the castle. If word got back what Gamzee had discovered, and it would because it was  _Gamzee_ , Kankri could have been killed. Kankri went after him and had been alone in that forest for  _years_. If it were not for John, Karkat never would have found Kankri again and he had not doubts over what a blessing that was.

" _ **Don't do that.**_ " Karkat hissed softly, his language easily slipping into Alternian without a second thought. " _ **Don't change the makerdamn question.**_ "

Kankri crinkled his nose and his eyes dropped to where their skin was touching. " _ **It's such a long story, Karkat. I don't see any point in bringing it up when everyone is so happy. Yes, Most of it has to do with Cronus but there is nothing to be done about that**_." He replied, speaking Alternian elegantly and it was more obvious that he had spent more time speaking his native language lately than Karkat had.

" _ **I'll rip his gills out if I ever seen him again.**_ " Karkat hissed, his lips curling over his sharp fangs and he twisted his hand to capture Kankri's fingers with his own. He never did like Cronus but he made Kankri happy back then and he never felt it was his place to say anything about it. He was surprised Cronus had left everything behind to go with Kankri only to leave him in the end anyway. Didn't make much sense but Cronus was an asshole and Karkat was fine with that.

" _ **There is no need for such violence.**_ " Kankri whispered softly and leaned forward just enough to brush his nose over Karkat's cheek in a familiar gesture. It did manage to calm the younger troll slightly.

Karkat let out a sigh and squeezed Kankri's hand tightly. " _ **It just pissed me off, Kan. He left you all alone in a different country and I didn't even fucking know you were there or I would have come to get you**_."

"Shh." Kankri's voice was light as he nuzzled his nose along the curve of Karkat's cheek, much like he used to do with they were both so much younger. It was a warm gesture that made both of them feel at home. " _ **Please do not feel guilt or put any amount of blame on yourself for something you were unaware**_."

" _ **I shouldn't have left you**_."

" _ **I will not argue that. But what is done is done and there is less of a point in dwelling on the things of the past when we have a bright future ahead of us.**_ "

A lump formed in Karkat's throat. " _ **We're still going to war.**_ "

The claws around Karkat's wrist tightened to the point of almost slicing his skin. " _ **Pardon?"**_

Karkat took in a deep breath, his body tensing as he shifted to meet swirling garnet. " _ **We're prepared this time, Kankri. We are. You know I'm a skilled fighter and I've only gotten better over the sweeps. Everyone's in and the heroes are going to help us. It's not their fight but John threw himself into it because he's just that fucking good of a person and the rest of his family followed. Well, the younger ones anyway.**_ " He was babbling and he knew it as he turned on his knees to face his brother and gathered his hands with his own. He felt like a child all over again, explaining himself to his disapproving older brother. " _ **The point is, we know what we're doing now. We've all grown and have been training for this. I know it's not what you wanted, but it's our only option at this point**_."

Kankri's nose crinkled and there was a sudden look of rage in those garnet eyes that left Karkat breathless. " _ **Do you intend to kill**_ _ **him**_ _ **?**_ "

" _ **Well... Yeah.**_ " Karkat swallowed hard and steadied himself against the glare he hadn't seen in years. " _ **It's the only way to make this...**_ " He trailed off when Kankri held up a hand to stop him.

" _ **I support you**_."

There was a moment where Karkat was completely sure he had forgotten Alternian and had heard the words that came from those plump lips completely wrong. He sat back on his heels and dropped his hands from Kankri's to just stare in fiery garnet orbs. "What?" He mumbled in english.

Kankri sighed softly through his nose. " _ **I am aware this is quite the change since you last told me about your plans but times have changed and so have we. I support this decision and if you need my help in any manner, do not hesitate to ask. I still have every part of that castle memorized.**_ "

" _ **I... Yeah, that'd actually be pretty great, Kan**_ _._ " Karkat blinked in surprise, his shoulder realizing with the realization that his brother was finally on his side. Violence or not, Kankri was for the revolution and even willing to help. " _ **You should come to the next meeting with us."**_

There was tenseness around Kankri's eyes at those words but he nodded his head anyway. " _ **I would like that.**_ "

Nothing was really solved and Karkat still had tons of questions for his brother but he left it at that as he settled back onto the grass. Kankri would tell him when he was ready; if he was ever ready. The important thing was that Kankri was alive and safe with them, no matter how damaged he may have come. Karkat still planned to rip out Cronus' gills when he saw him however, no matter what Kankri said. That seadweller would pay for the pain he caused Karkat's brother. One way or another.

By the time John and Jesse landed back on the ground, the brothers had settled into a comfortable silence, with Kankri's hand still curled around Karkat's. It was a normal sight to see and as John placed Jesse back on the ground, he couldn't help the soft smile on his face at the sight of the brothers.

"Daddy!" Jesse took off across the grass, skipping over a few rocks before he came to a stop in front of Karkat, dropping to his knees with a wide smile and wind swept hair.

"Have fun?" Karkat asked, reaching forward with his free hand to brush blond hair back into place.

"Yeah! I'm hungry though."

"Hm, it is about lunch time. Alright, come on. Time for you two to clean up and I'll make us all some lunch." He spoke as he moved to his feet, barely noticing when John's hand was there, helping him up with much effort. He blinked in slight surprise when he was pulled into a strong chest and the smile that played along John's lips made his heart thump warmly. "What?"

"Nothing." John shrugged one shoulder and stole a kiss from plump lips before he pulled away and snatched up a giggling Jesse. "Let's get those grubby little hands all clean!" John paused beside a still sitting Kankri and with one hand, helped the troll to his feet while he held onto Jesse with the other. It was polite and down right gentlemanly and there was no doubt that John was quickly growing on Kankri. They shared a soft smile before John took off with Jesse to get the boy all cleaned up for lunch.

"You should get your own hero _ **.**_ " Karkat commented softly, a soft laugh in his throat as he patted Kankri's lower back.

"What?" Kankri snapped softly, his eyes wide and his body flinching at Karkat's touch, almost as if he had been spooked. "Why-Why would I ever do that? I'm not.. John's a lovely person but I'm not-"

Karkat cut off his brother with an amused chuckle. "I know that, Kan." He slipped his fingers along Kankri's hand before he pulled away to led the other back to his cabin. "I'm just saying, Heroes are a nice thing to keep around. You can't have John of course, but there are others."

"Oh, you're teasing me!" Kankri gasped, the apples of his grey cheeks flushing red as he slapped a hand over Karkat's shoulder.

"Maybe." He bit into his lower lip to hide his small grin and that seemed to make Kankri flush all the more. It really was good to have his brother back and his family complete.

* * *

"Are you  _sure_  you have everything you need?"

"Yes, Daddy!" Jesse stood up at attention, a small leather satchel thrown over his shoulder and the nicest outfit Kanaya had made for him on his small frame. It fit him nicely and the soft green colors brought out his eyes all the more.

"Underwear?"

"Check!"

"Sleep clothes?"

"Check!"

"Teddy?"

"Check!"

"Papa?"

Jesse blinked and his grin faltered as he glanced around the small cabin he called home. "No check!"

Karkat grinned softly and gave blond hair a soft pat. "You can bet papa is going to take his sweet ass time because it's awfully hard for him to pull away from Casey."

Jesse jumped from one foot to the other. "I like Casey."

"I know. We'll see her when we get back. You, her, Annabelle and Kankri have a whooooole party planned for Papa, don't you?"

"Yeah!" Jesse's face lit up at the mention of the party they would be having once they returned from Bowerstone. "I wanna see Auntie Rose and Auntie Kanaya."

"You will. They're waiting for us. And," A smile curled to his lips as he gathered Jesse in his arms, lifting him in the air to rest against his hip, "All the other heroes are going to be there."

"Big family!" Jesse said with a grin and opened his arms as wide as he could.

"Yup. Big family." Karkat crinkled his nose and rubbed it with Jesse's making the boy giggle.

"Have I mentioned how cute you two are together?" John's voice was filled with amusement as he leaned against the open door-frame, a tender look in his bright eyes.

"Papa!" Jesse exclaimed, his arms still wide open. "You're back!"

"Yup. All ready to go?"

"All ready!"

John chuckled softly as he approached the two, one arm going around Karkat's waist while the other went around Jesse's back. "This is going to be the best birthday ever."

Jesse nodded enthusiastically. "Papa took his sweet ass time."

"Uh."

"Karkat." John narrowed his eyes only slightly as he glanced at the troll who was quick to hide the small grin on his face. "I thought you weren't going to talk like that around him."

"I talked like that around you and you came out just fine." Karkat pointed out, a flush on his cheek as he pulled away from John, passing Jesse over to him effortlessly so he could grab his travel bag.

"That's not the point, Karkat."

"Are you two fighting?" Jesse's weak voice caught their attention and John was quick to shush him and nuzzle into his hair.

"No, No, we're not fighting."

"It sounded like you were gonna." Jesse spoke softly, his green eyes filled with a sadness that nearly broke both their hearts.

"No, No." John shook his head, glancing at Karkat as the troll slipped his bag around his torso. "We hardly ever fight but sometimes we do discuss things. And that's not fighting, okay Jesse?"

"Kiss and make up?" Jesse said hopefully, his eyes glancing between the two adults in the room.

"You've been reading him romance novels again haven't you?" John said with a soft sigh, a smile curling to his lips.

Karkat rolled his eyes and didn't hesitate to step up to John and grab his face between his hands so he could pull the hero down for a soft kiss. It didn't last anywhere near as long as either of them would have liked and when Karkat pulled away there was a faint flush on John's cheeks.

"My turn!"

The troll snorted and leaned over to plant a soft kiss to a pudgy little cheek. John did the same, on the other cheek and left Jesse giggling like a little fool. He really was such a happy child considering all the shit he'd been through. The nightmares were something they dealt with night by night and they were becoming easier and easier to disburse. Karkat was sure that those nightmares would some day soon leave Jesse and he would be the happy little boy he tried so hard to be.

"They're waiting on us." Karkat reminded them and after a quick check to make sure they had everything they'd need, they left the cabin for the cullis gate not too far away. Kankri was sitting just outside his cabin, a book in his hand and a soft smile on his face when the small family passed and bid him goodbye. He'd been invited of course, but he politely declined with the excuse that he wished to spend a little time alone. He would help celebrate John's birthday when they returned.

After all, it was not like John as a specific day of birth. They only knew the month and the entire reason they had always referred to April as John's month of birth was because that was the month the soldiers found him. Karkat pointed out that it had been April when he first found John in the words so the months worked out in the end. None of the heroes had an exact day of birth so they always went by the month in which they were found.

Karkat still preferred flying over the cullis gate but it was slower and they only had a small window of time. John didn't want to be late for his own party so they opted for the cullis gate that left all of them a little dizzy afterwards and Jesse had to hide his face in Karkat's neck until his stomach settled down. By then, they had left Fairfax castle and were working their way into Bowerstone Market.

"They're gonna like me right?" Jesse's voice was soft against Karkat's neck and at first, he almost wasn't heard.

John glanced at Karkat and the two of them shared a nod, John's arm going around Karkat's lower back as they walked down the cobblestone streets.

"You really worried about that?" Karkat asked softly, one hand focused on the back of Jesse's neck while the other was wrapped around under his thighs, keeping the boy in place along his torso. "I have no doubt they are going to adore you. Jade's very kind and she'll show you some cool magic. Dave's an ass-"

"But he's also good with kids." John was quick to add in, a smile curling along his lips.

"Yeah, I guess so. Roxy is Rose's older sister and she's nice too. Jane is very sweet and I'm sure she'll bake you cookies if you ask her too. Dirk is a bit standoffish but don't let him scare you. And Jake. Well, he's a lot like your papa."

Jesse pulled back enough to meet Karkat's eyes. "He's like papa?"

"Nah." John shook his head. "We're not alike."

"You are. Same smile and half the time I think you idiots are related."

"Well, we kind of are all related."

"You and Jake look the most alike, John."

"Do we? He's so much... larger than me."

Karkat perked a brow and glanced at John, making no effort to hide the way his eyes caressed John's body, lingering around his pelvis area and leaving the hero with a warm flush throughout his body. "Right."

"What?" John blinked. "Don't just 'right' me and not explain. What do you mean 'right'?"

Karkat shrugged nonchalantly, adjusting his hold on Jesse who was glancing between them with slight concern on his face. "You've grown a lot since I first met you."

"Yeah?" John glanced down at himself. He knew he was taller than Karkat now but he didn't think his muscle mass had grown all that much.

"You practice with that heavy ass hammer every day."

"So?"

"So." Karkat closed his eyes with a soft snort and nudged his shoulder into John's bicep. "You're oblivious."

"I'm not..." His cheeks flushed at the crimson eyes that glanced at him and he quickly looked away to the ground. He didn't say anything else on the matter cause his throat was way too tight. Was Karkat suggesting what John thought he was?

"Yo, Egbert!" Dave called and caught their attention. He was standing outside the Lalonde home with Jade at his side who was waving enthusiastically at them.

"Dave!" John lit up at the sight of his best bro and after a quick glance to Karkat he took off into the air. Dave yelped, in the most uncool way, and didn't have a chance to avoid John so their bodies collided together on the ground with Jade giggling over them.

"You're like an excited puppy!" Jade covered her giggles with her hand as Dave groaned beneath John's body.

"You fucking mammoth get off me." Dave grumbled to no avail.

"Oh, Karkat!" Jade's eyes lit up as the troll approached and a friendly smile curled to her lips when Jesse hid his face in Karkat's neck. "Hello!"

"Hey Jade." Karkat greeted, nodding his head as he bounced Jesse in his arms slightly. "This is Jesse. Jesse, this is Jade."

"Hi there little guy." Jade's voice was soft and sweet as she peered around Karkat, her hands tucked behind her back. "It's nice to meet you."

Jesse peeked out from Karkat's neck and the green eyes of Jade made him smile softly. She looked so friendly so he took a deep breath and pulled back from Karkat's neck. "Hello."

"Fuck, Egbert, you fucking buff piece of shit get off me." Dave grumbled, shoving at John's shoulders and after a moment the two got back to their feet, Dave brushing off his nice dress clothes like he was offended. "Don't ruin the suit bro."

"He does look rather good in it." Jade complimented, turning her attention to Dave with a gentle smile. She reached up to tug the collar of his maroon suit jacket into place, leaning into his body in a way that made both John and Karkat perk a brow and glance at one another.

"You look stunning too, Jade." John offered with a goofy smile, opening his arms to her for a hug that she eagerly took. Her dress was dark in color with sparks of green all over it and she did indeed look stunning. The heroes rarely had an occasion to dress up so birthday's were always a special reason to.

"Thank you, Happy Birthday John."

"Thanks!"

"Did you two seriously have a kid? I know it hasn't been that fucking long since we last saw you." Dave cut in, his brow furrowed behind his goggles as he looked Jesse over. He honestly looked ridiculous with those on but they protected his eyes from the bright spring sun.

"Don't scare him, fucknugget." Karkat hissed softly.

"Yeah, cause I'm the one that can scare him Mr. big fangs and sharp claws."

" _Guys_." Jade sighed softly, rolling her eyes as she placed her hands on her hips. "I get that black flirting is a thing but not in front of the children."

A snarl came to Karkat's lips and Dave about froze in his shoes. John just laughed softly before a confused look came to his face. "There's only one kid, Jade."

"She was referring to you, Egbert."

John just blinked. "Dave, Dave, Jesse is mine and Karkat's, okay? That's a thing. So be nice cause you're my best bro and you should make a good impression."

"That's right." Jade nodded in agreement, sliding her hand over Dave's arm gently.

"Yeah, yeah." Dave sniffed and eased his way over to Karkat, ignoring the glare he was sent and bowed his head to Jesse's level. "Sup little dude."

Jesse blinked up at Dave, seeing his reflection in those goggles and a small smile curled to his lips. "Sup big dude."

"Heeeeey." A small smirk curled to Dave's lips and he reached up to pat Jesse's hair. "You could be a Strider."

"Is that a good thing?" Jesse asked.

"No." Karkat mumbled softly. "He's a Vantas."

"I'm a Vantas!" Jesse repeated with a proud grin on his face.

"Oh maker you're so cute!" Jade grinned as she stepped up beside Dave to get a good look at Jesse.

"Oh shit. Great. Now she's going to want one." Dave sighed, leaning back as he shoved his hands into his pants pockets.

"Oh shush, Dave." Jade flushed softly and knocked her knuckles against his arm.

Again, John and Karkat glanced at one another.

"Ugh, stop doing that you two are like a fucking married couple." Dave complained.

"Dave." Jade gasped. "Language in front of the child."

"He probably hears worse from Karkat."

"Doing what?" John piqued in, a smile on his face as he slipped an arm around Karkat's waist.

" _That."_  Dave made a disgusted face.

"Don't be so rude, Dave. They're happy together."

"Are you two together?" Karkat spilled out, causing everyone around him to suddenly tense and look at him with wide eyes. "What? I'm not gonna beat around the bush just because you two wanna play honeymooners. Did you finally get in his pants or what Jade?"

The blush that came along Dave's pale cheeks was enough of an answer for any of them. Dave didn't say a word as he spun on his heel and hurried off into the house trying to look as cool as he possible could. Jade watched him leave a little worriedly but turned back the John and Karkat with a smile on her face.

"Yes, we're together."

" _Finally_." John sighed, running a hand through his hair.

Karkat just crinkled his nose. "You can do better."

Jade giggled softly and leaned forward to plant a kiss to Karkat's cheek. "You're sweet, Karkat. Dave's an ass, I know, but he's good to me. Come inside, you two. Everyone's already here!"

They nodded and moved into the lovely home. After that, it was a bit of a blur. Jesse was passed around and introduced to everyone while John got hugs and kisses and birthday wishes. Karkat was lost in conversations, everyone talking about what they'd been up to lately while Jane and Rose were busy in the kitchen, finishing up John's birthday dinner.

"John, where on earth did you get that?" Jade's voice cut above all the rest and the conversations came to a halt, everyone turning to look at John and whatever Jake was referring to.

Hanging as innocently as could be from John's neck, was his hero necklace. The white button up and green vest he wore did nothing to hide the glowing blue jewel and suddenly everyone's attention was drawn to it. Jesse found his way back to Karkat's side, who was beside Kanaya, and pressed into his leg, feeling the sudden tension in the room.

"Oh." John laughed softly, gathering the jewel in his hand to show it off to the other heroes. Jake was the closest but the others were close enough to see his symbol within it. "I um, I found it."

"It's okay John." Karkat spoke softly, giving the hero permission to tell his family the truth.

Jake glanced between John and Karkat, confusion evident in his expression. With the two of them standing beside one another, it was obvious to see how alike John and Jake did look. John had spurt up to challenge Jake for his height and their muscle mass was pretty equal though John's torso was larger while Jake's thighs won over John's.

"It's... kind of a long story." John flushed softly, rubbing the back of his neck as he glanced at Karkat.

"The perhaps we should all sit down and enjoy a meal together while John tells us a story." Rose offered, a pleasant smile on her face as she touched John's arm gently.

"That's a great idea, Rosey!" Roxy grinned, her lips sparkling as she tugged on Dirk's arm.

With mumbled agreement, everyone moved toward the table that was large and decorated for an celebration. John got to sit at the end of the table that was thick enough to seat two so Karkat was nudged to sit down beside John by Jade who then helped Jesse sit down at the corner, closest to Karkat before sitting down beside him. Jane and Rose brought out the food and the conversation shifted to compliments of the food and how great everything looked.

Karkat was busy trying to cut up Jesse's slice of meat for him when Jake brought up the subject of the necklace again. He remained quiet, giving Jesse a comforting smile as he leaned back in his seat. Jesse glanced at his food before looking up at Karkat for permission. It was crazy how ingrained submission was in that little boy. Karkat just nodded at him and Jesse carefully, slowly, started to eat.

"Yeah! I wanna know where you came up with that thing." Roxy exclaimed, tilting her glass of wine in John's direction as she leaned on her elbow.

"Karkat." John explained softly, a flush on his cheeks as he lowered his eyes to his full plate. "Karkat gave it to me."

"You found it?" Jade asked, with wide eyes, leaning over Jesse just slightly to gauge Karkat's expression.

"No, um, let me start over." John waved his hands in his face and everyone settled down to listen to his story. John took a minute to calm his racing heart but once a warm grey hand curled around his under the table, he felt the courage to continue on with his story. He knew he would have to tell his family eventually, and of course he was excited to, but he was also nervous.

"My memories from before I was found by the soldiers came back. I, Karkat found me, when I was just a baby in the forest. I mean, I don't remember  _that_  but I remember other things. Like being raised by him and being taken care of by him. And before you ask, No neither of us knew who the other was when we met. Karkat didn't figure it out till a few months ago and I've kinda always had a feeling I knew Karkat but it didn't really click till he gave me this back." His head grasped onto the jewel hanging from his neck and slowly, his eyes raised to meet the eyes of his fellow heroes.

"Which was a few weeks ago. We went on a little adventure which is how we came upon Jesse." He sent a soft smile to the little boy who's head popped up at the sound of his name. "And we kind of ran into Karkat's brother Kankri and everything just spilled out. So... yeah." John heaved a sigh and glanced to Karkat. "I was raised by a troll."

"Holy fuck dude." Dave was the first to speak, his eyes wide and visible since Jade made him take off his goggles for dinner. "You've gotta be shitting me."

"This is true?" Kanaya spoke softly, her eyes glancing between John and Karkat, obviously surprised at hearing Kankri's name.

"If it is, then why were you found by soldiers?" Jade asked, a concerned look on her face.

"Because I couldn't keep him." Kara explained softly, his eyes locked on his plate of food as John squeezed his hand. "I'm a troll who lived on his own in the middle of no where and John was better off with his own kind. It was a decision I had to make and soldiers seemed like the best place to send him. He turned out fine."

"So... You had the necklace?" Jake asked.

"John gave it to me before I sent him off. I've kept it ever since and thought it was time to return it to its owner."

"So... You met again by chance?" Jade asked with slightly wide eyes.

"Pretty much." John shrugged, tightening his hold on Karkat's hand as he leaned back in his chair and when they glanced at each other, a soft flush curled to their cheeks.

"Dude, he's like your father." Dave pointed out, crinkling his nose. "You want to bone your father."

"Dave," Jade spoke calmly, putting a hand on his arm.

"You have a problem with it, Strider?" Karkat hissed softly, his expression turning sour as his crimson eyes sent a glare to the blond.

"A bit yeah. Kinda gross actually."

"Dave, your attempt at black flirting is what one would consider 'gross'." Rose spoke calmly and coolly from her place at Kanaya's side. The female troll had a hard time hiding her smile behind her hand as she leaned close to the blonde hero.

"It's not-"

"Seriously, Dave." Jade sighed softly, brushing her hair over her shoulder as she settled back in her chair. "Karkat's gorgeous, I get that, and I love you but he would so win if it came to bloody fists."

"The hell Harley?"

"I assure you, my hate for him is strictly platonic." Karkat stated evenly before shoving a piece of meat into his mouth.

There was a soft snicker from Rose that made Jade giggle. Dave just narrowed his eyes and quickly turned back to his food. But Jade was there with a soft hand on his arm that seemed to wash away any tension in his body. Jesse glanced between the adults, a confused look on his face but his attention was quickly drawn back to the wonderful food he was allowed to eat. He hadn't eaten so good in his life.

"Ya know," Roxy drawled, removing the tension as she leaned on her elbow and sipped her wine. "Karkat babe never crossed me as a parental type but Johnny turned out a lot better than the rest of us." She giggled softly, batting her beautiful eyes at the male troll that straightened his spine at the attention. "All polite and brave and handsome."

Jake laughed softly, nodding his head as he nudged Dirk. The blond remained silent however, his eyes focused on the troll not to far away from him and the look on his face was unreadable. There was a hint of confusion but that was all Karkat could pick up on. Other than that, the look just made him feel uncomfortable. After a minute, Jake rolled his eyes and sent a smile to Karkat that eased the tension in his spine.

"Thank you for taking care of John as a baby. We might not have him with us if you didn't and I know we are all very grateful to have him." Jake's words were genuine and even made John smile.

"But like, think about it." Roxy cut in softly, her eyes shifting between John and Karkat. "What are the odds, ya know? Meeting again by chance like that? Hell, even the chance of Karkat babe stumbling upon wittle baby John in the woods and deciding to take him in. And  _then_ the two of you just  _happen_  to stumble into each other again?"

"Roxy." Jane's voice was gentle at her side but the hand on her thigh was firm.

"No, Janey." Roxy flashed her a smile before downing the rest of her drink. "I'm not saying anything bad, I promise. I'm just over here thinking it's really astounding!" A grin curled to her face and her eyes lit with some type of fire that made Rose roll her eyes and Jade giggle softly. "It's like... Wow it's like, you two couldn't be together before. Age difference and all that jazz. But look at you now." She flicked a hand at them, catching Jesse's attention. "You've caught up in your lifespans and if I know right, trolls live really long lives and we'll live really long lives so you two will live really long lives together!" She giggled to herself but there was still a look of wonderment in her eyes. "It's like, your love was written in the stars."

Karkat tensed at John side but it went unnoticed by everyone except the raven haired wind hero that was clutching his hand beneath the table. John sent him a worried glance but those crimson eyes refused to meet his. The troll's mouth formed a tight line and John could see his jaw twitch. He wasn't sure why Roxy's words had caused him anger because John thought they were really sweet words. Written in the stars. Their love? It made sense in a way. But John didn't have a chance to ask Karkat about it because Jane shifted the subject into something about a cake and once Jesse stated that he had never tasted cake, it seemed to become everyone's purpose to get that little boy some cake after dinner.

* * *

Karkat was sure human alcohol was made to make him sick. Seriously, why did they enjoy drinking it so much? Though he knew they didn't drink as much as they were tonight but still. Roxy was off her rocker. He'd never see Rose or Kanaya blush like that before and he was starting to think Jade was going to jump into Dave's lap at some point soon and that didn't help his queasy stomach at all. Kanaya was handling it fine but his stomach was very angry at him. Though that might have to do with the two slices of cake Jesse got him to devour.

The little blond boy was tucked away safe and sound upstairs in the bed John and Karkat would soon pass out in. It had been hours since Jesse was tucked in and the heroes apparently liked celebrating birthday by getting absolutely shit faced. Even Jane had joined in and was currently snuggled in her girlfriend's lap as Roxy chatted about with Dirk, who seemed way too sober for the occasion.

When Karkat's eyes landed on John, who was only a few feet away with Jake, he felt his stomach lurch all the more. He hovered by the hallway for a minute longer before he disappeared down it toward the bathroom he knew to be downstairs. It was the only room downstairs that was completely cut off from the rest of the house and he was fine with that. He considered going outside from some fresh air but his mind was foggy and he could hear the clunking of someone coming after him.

"Karkat." John called softly, his voice warm as he suddenly wrapped the troll up in a hug from behind. The hero didn't have much to drink but he was certainly feeling it as he nuzzled into soft dark hair. "Don't leave."

Karkat grunted, rolling his eyes as he shoved at John's hands to get the hero to release him. "I'm not. I was getting fresh air."

John snorted softly and grabbed the troll's hips, managing to turn him around so their eyes could meet. Their faces were flushed and when John glanced down at those temping plump lips, Karkat just blinked.

"Somethings wrong, Tell me whats wrong." John mumbled softly, his eyes shifting from Karkat's lips to his eyes.

The troll just crinkled his nose. "I don't feel good."

"No, I mean. Earlier." John glanced over his shoulder, down the hallway to make sure they were alone. There was laughter from the main hall but they were truly cut off from everyone else. They would only be seen if someone decided to come down the hallway. "When Roxy said our love was written in the stars. You got all tense."

Karkat let out a sigh, running claws through his hair as he averted his eyes to the ground. "She said our lifelines caught up or some bullshit."

John perked a brow. "So?"

" _So_ ," Karkat sighed softly, "I have no bloody idea how long I'll live."

"We... We've talked about this, Karkat." John blinked, a bit bewildered that such a thing was bothering his little troll.

"Things have  _changed_  John. You know that." Those crimson eyes were intense when they met stunning blue.

There was a moment where John had no idea what Karkat was talking about. And then it dawned on him like the rising sun and his throat felt dry. Karkat was talking about them. About them spending the rest of their lives together. And he was worried. Worried that John would outlive him. The hero's chest swelled with such a deep warmth that he couldn't help himself when he gathered Karkat up in his arms and held him tight to his chest.

"Karkat, _Karkat it matters_ , of course it matters, but Roxy was right. We have something special so please... please don't let that be a factor in what happens between us because it's something that is completely out of our control." He mumbled softly and fast in a pointed ear, feeling the troll shiver in his arms.

It took a few seconds but Karkat melted into John's embrace, his stomach feeling ten times better with those strong arms around him. He pressed his face into John's shoulder, his claws clinging to the fabric of the hero's vest and inhaled the pleasant scent that was only John. When John pulled back, he tilted his head back to meet stunning blue eyes and didn't hesitate to meet the soft lips searching for his. John pushed forward and they stumbled for a bit until Karkat's back hit a wall and he was pinned there by strong arms on his hips and soft lips sliding along his.

Karkat tilted his head just slightly, making their lips press together all the more as his claws slipped over broad shoulders, feeling over the strong muscles John had accumulated over the months. He'd changed a lot since Karkat first saw him but it was a gradual process. When John's tongue came, Karkat didn't resist it. He opened himself beneath the hero without a second thought and their tongues met slowly until lips found each other again.

Fire burned along every inch of Karkat's skin and his hands dug into short raven hair, making John grunt and press just a bit closer. It felt good to be kissed like that. To have John pressed against him and their lips moving together in soft but persistent kisses. John's hands were warm over his hips before slipping up his side, bunching up the fabric of his black long-sleeved shirt to feel the soft grey skin beneath.

Karkat would forever blame the rum for what happened next. John's body was hard against his, pressing him into the wall while their hips collided together with a purpose that was not lost on either of them. Their minds were foggy and all either could think of was "more". So with a sharp tug to John's hair, Karkat urged John forward, their mouths opening together as soft pants came out. Their eyes met just for a split second before Karkat closed his eyes against a groan and arched his back into John, wanting to feel the hero against his skin all the more.

It was too tight and too warm. Too much for either of them to handle but John found the curve of his throat and planted kisses along it that made the troll moan softly. They could keep going. Why shouldn't they? It was John's birthday and Karkat felt all warm and fuzzy with that fact that John cared about him enough to not mind what his life span could be. Hell, John didn't mind a lot of the broken things about Karkat and that was damn special to the troll.

The kissing turned sloppy, with more teeth and tongue than lips but Karkat didn't mind. John's tongue felt  _good_ against that certain spot on his neck and his claws just urge the hero on. He could feel the hard blunt thing against his hip and for once, he didn't mind it. Part of him wanted to touch it, maybe feel it and learn something new about his favorite human. There was a burning fire between his legs that was starting to beg for attention and Karkat's mind shifted into figuring out where they could go to be alone because he could not get enough of the taste of John's mouth.

"Oh." A giggle caught there attention but they didn't shoot apart like they probably should have. John pulled his lips from Karkat's throat and paused in rutting his hips against the troll's to toss a look at Roxy who had a hand over her mouth, covering her giggles and flushed face. "Don't mind me!" She shifted from foot to foot, giving them an approving look before she turned away. "Continue on!" She spilled out giggles as she turned for the stairs, her hips sauntering in a way that made Karkat think she was so proud of what she had just walked in on.

But Roxy's words were sobering and when John looked back to Karkat, his eyes widened and he shot away from the troll like he'd been struck by lightening. "Oh, shit, Karkat, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He flushed to his ears and down his neck, a shameful look on his face as he bowed his head in apology.

Karkat snorted softly, letting out a faint sigh as he pushed off the wall to fix his clothing. "I wasn't fighting you."

The hopeful look in blue eyes made Karkat's heart stutter. "Yeah?"

He sighed softly and reached up to fix John's hair that his claws had messed all to hell. "Don't jump me like that. It's getting harder and harder to push you away. I'll admit my body wants you, okay? That's definitely a thing."

That was the only answer John could have asked for. It was a step in the right direction and once he had Karkat's heart, he fully planned on taking the body that was offered to him. A tender smile curled to his lips and he dipped down to plant a soft, closed mouth kiss to Karkat's lips. "I'm flattered."

Karkat scoffed softly, rolling his eyes as he patted John's shoulders, making sure his clothing didn't show what they had nearly done. "You're attractive. I've been aware of that since I met you."

"Mmmm? Not broken then."

Crimson eyes connected with his. "I assure you this sexual attraction is a completely new development."

The grin that split along John's face made Karkat's heart thump hard. "We're getting somewhere then." He offered softly, wrapping one arm around Karkat's waist to pull him into a warm hug. Karkat grunted in response, leaning into John's embrace with a contented sigh. No matter his jumbled mess of feelings, he was grateful to have John's love. It was something that kept him going and and silently made a promise to himself to talk over his feelings with Kankri. The troll was a mutant like him. Perhaps his brother had some advice to give him so he could figure out what the hell was going on with him.

"You still need some fresh air?" John asked once they pulled apart, a goofy little grin on his face.

Karkat hummed and glanced down, eyeing over the crotch of John's pants before meeting blue eyes with a soft smirk. "Perhaps you are the one who needs a little air?"

With a flush the hero covered himself and glanced over his shoulder. "Uh, yeah. I'll be a minute."

A soft laugh came from Karkat's throat as he passed John, patting the hero on the arm before heading back the party that was still in full swing.

* * *

There was a wide smile on John's face as he slipped the crown made from blue flowers onto his hair and thoroughly made Casey giggle like she was going to explode from happiness. She settled on his lap and carefully adjusted the crown so it sat well on his head before clapping her hands. She was so bright and so happy, it made John's heart swell with warmth. He was so loved and he knew that. He glanced around, his eyes catching on Annabelle who sat on the picnic table only a few feet away with a tender smile on her face. Kankri sat beside her and the two were deep in conversation about something while Jesse settled in Kankri's lap, leaning against the troll who kept a rather protect arm around him as he snoozed softly. There was a flower crown on Jesse's head as well made from red flowers that the little boy had insisted on because they looked like his daddy's eyes.

The little party the kids had managed to throw for John with Annabelle and Kankri's help was the best thing in the world to the hero. He always loved the parties his fellow heroes threw for him but this party was just a bit special. These people were his family and they had become his family over such a short period of time. They meant more to him than he could ever explain and he felt like the luckiest man in the world to have such a large, loving family.

Subconsciously, his eyes sought out Karkat who was leaning over the picnic table and trying to clean up a few things. There was a relaxed expression on his face and he moved like he didn't have a care in the world. He was a different troll from the troll John met all those months ago. Less tense, less unhappy and just all around a nicer person. Karkat still had a lot over his head but John was always at the ready to take whatever he could off his shoulders.

Karkat was too gorgeous for his own good and John was highly aware of that now more than ever. His hair was getting long, curling around his jawline and his ears pointed out of the thick strands elegantly. It had a soft look to it and was even softer to the touch, like silk through John's fingers. His lips were plump, his cheeks round with a usual flush to them and his body, well that was another story. John had once seen it as a brick wall, strong but lithe but now every time Karkat moved, there was something sensual about it. John wasn't sure if that had to do with Karkat's moods or if he was just seeing the troll in a whole new light. Loving someone really changed how you looked at them he supposed.

"Hero." Casey spoke, catching his attention as she looked up at him with wide eyes.

"Yeah?" He smiled at her, focusing his attention on her as they sat on the ground only a few feet from the others.

"Can I call you Daddy now?"

John's heart swelled and he was struck a little breathless. So he looked at Annabelle who only gave him a glance before returning to her conversation with Kankri. "I um..."

"Jesse gets to call you papa." She pouted cutely, batting her eyelashes at him like she was the most innocent thing in the world.

"You don't want to call me papa?"

She tilted her head at the question. "But you're Jesse's papa. You're my daddy and Karkat is my papa."

"Um." John blinked when a warm hand fell on his head and he looked up to see Karkat standing beside him, a small little smile on his lips.

"Might as well say yes."

"Then I can call you papa?!" She brightened, looking up at Karkat with hopeful eyes.

"As long as it's okay with your mother."

"Momma!"

"It's fine, dear."

"Papa!" Casey scrambled to her feet and wrapped her arms around Karkat's legs, hugging him tight with a bright smile on her face.

Karkat smiled softly, patting a hand over her head in a soothing manner. John's heart swelled at the two of them and he shifted to his knees so he could wrap his arms around the both of them. Karkat rolled his eyes in amusement and let his other hand spread through John's hair that was tickling his side.

"Dad it is then."

"Yay!" Casey wiggled about and managed to plant a kiss on John's cheek before she skipped off to tell Jesse the good news. The little blond boy just smiled at her, too sleepy to pay much attention and nuzzled more into Kankri's red top. She picked at the flowers in his hair, making sure they didn't get hurt before she climbed into her mother's lap for a little rest as well.

"They are too precious." John mumbled softly, watching the children he got to call his own with a fond smile.

"Mhm. John." Karkat moved to sit on the ground beside John, bending his knees to wrap his arms around. "I have a proposition for you."

John blinked and settled down beside Karkat. "Okay?"

Karkat nodded, tilting his head to rest against his knee as he watched John with unreadable crimson. "I wasn't entirely sure what to get your for your birthday."

"You didn't have to get me anything." John cut in softly, moving closer to Karkat so he could wrap an arm around his shoulders and lean in close. "I'm just happy to have you."

A faint flush caressed Karkat's cheeks but he didn't look away from John's eyes. "Don't spring romance on me like that."

John grinned and hummed softly, pressing forward to nuzzle his nose into Karkat's cheek. "I wasn't. I was just saying."

The troll huffed softly, crinkling his nose and squinting his eyes. "Uh-Huh."

"It's cute when you do that." John planted a soft kiss to Karkat's nose that left the troll flushed. "Cute."

"Anyway." Karkat inhaled, rolling his eyes. "Since I didn't get you anything, I thought maybe we'd go somewhere together. Just the two of us. Jesse's taken a liking to Kankri and Kankri's become protective of him so he's safe there."

"A trip?" John asked, eyebrows raising as he looked at Karkat.

"Yeah. To Bloodstone."

The hero just blinked. "Why Bloodstone?"

"Rose told me there is a festival there this time of year and you love festivals. Something about the people, the music, the food and the entertainment."

John's face lit up and he sat back with a bright smile on his face. "Oh wow, yeah! It's the Glory festival. It's in celebration of all the pirates that founded Bloodstone. I've never been!"

"So... You want to go then?"

John searched those crimson eyes, seeing a hint of hope in them that made his heart melt. "Just us?"

"Just us."

"I'd love to. I would so love to." He murmured softly, leaning forward until their lips could slide together.

"Good." Crimson eyes went half-lidded and a smile curled to plump lips. "We leave tomorrow."

"We do?"

"Mhm."

"You knew I'd say yes."

"I'd thought you might."

"Mmm." John hummed, unable to keep the grin from his face as he leaned forward to press their lips together once more, his heart full to bursting.

* * *

Bloodstone was nothing and yet everything Karkat expected. It was settled on the edge of the ocean, with ships scattered around the harbor and buildings that went all the way up the side of a steep large hill. Houses and buildings were cluttered together in a small space but the air smelt of salt and freshly cooked meat floating from the festival that literally covered every part of the town. It was easy to see from the sky as they flew above, ready to land on the hill near the cemetery that led into the town.

Ribbons, streamers and balloons decorated the whole town and there was the sound of laughter and music floating from everywhere. They were in full celebration and it brought the brightest smile to John's face. He was excited, really excited and it made Karkat feel a bit better about the idea of bringing the hero there. John grabbed his hand and they took off toward the town without hesitation.

It was too warm for Karkat to wear a cloak so his horns were at view for anyone to see but he wasn't that worried with John at his side. The air of Bloodstone was thick with humidity and the spring was a different type of spring from Oakfield. It wasn't entirely that pleasant to the troll but it did remind him of summers growing up in Alternia.

The sun was starting to set over the horizon and as they moved through the town, people greeted John with smiles and wishes of a great day. The hero was happy to return them and kept Karkat close to his side. They wandered around the town, trying to find their way to their Inn, taking in the sights, sounds and smells. John even managed to get Karkat to try some strange meat on a stick that made his nose crinkle. All that mattered to Karkat was the hero was enjoying himself and with that bright smile on his face, Karkat was assured he was.

"Oh look at that." John gasped, pulling Karkat along to a bright banner hanging above a colorful entrance. The banner made promises about seeing strange things and animals from other lands. They could see people wandering around inside in strange costumes and make=up that reflected the celebration, much like the people of town wore. "It's a circus."

"What's that?"

John smiled, bouncing slightly in his excitement. "It's like a show where they have animals do all these really cool tricks. And people show off their talents. And there's clowns and stuff. I haven't been to one since I was really little."

"Sounds... interesting." Karkat eyed the area, noticing the few different tents settled on the edge of the water and abruptly, something strange settled in his stomach. A strange feeling that left him a little sick and he turned away, glancing up at John. "We could check it out tomorrow."

"Are you tired?" The hero brushed a hand over Karkat's face, searching his eyes.

"Not particularly. But I would like to find our Inn and settle for a little bit. We do have a week here."

"Okay!" John nodded in agreement and set off with the troll to find their Inn.

After asking around for a little while, they were pointed in the right direction to Bloodedge Inn. It sat a little higher from the ocean ad the trek to it was steep but it looked like a pleasant place. They had a quick dinner before settling into their on bed room with a rather nice view of the ocean.

"This is so nice." John sighed happily as he kicked off his shoes and plopped down onto his stomach on the bed.

"I'm glad you think so." Karkat sat down to tug off his boots. It was still a little too early for bed but the sun was set and he wanted to get comfortable.

"Thanks for this, Karkat. Really."

The troll shrugged, tucking his boots away before throwing his legs over the bed so he could curl up beside John, resting his head on the pillow. "It's your birthday. Anniversary of the day I found you and that set the rest of my life into motion. It's a pretty important thing to celebrate." He spoke like it was the most simple thing in the world but his words made John's heart fill with warmth.

"Karkat." John mumbled as he shifted to lay on his side, slipping an arm around the troll's waist to pull their bodies closer. "That's really sweet."

He shrugged one shoulder. "It's the truth. It's nice to spend some alone time with you too."

"Hmm? Miss me?" John teased softly, leaning close so their noses could touch.

"Yes. I completely missed your obnoxious face."

"Daw, Karkat." John drawled, moving in close to capture a kiss before he let his fingers wiggle over Karkat's side.

The troll gasped and quickly pushed a hand into John's face, pushing him away. "Nope. Don't you dare tickle me motherfucker, I  _will_  bite you."

John giggled and give Karkat's palm a kiss before the troll snatched his hand away and switched sides, giving his back to John. The hero just chuckled and pulled him close with an arm around his stomach, pressing Karkat's back to his front and settled his chin in the crock of the troll's neck.

"Really, Thank you so much."

Karkat could feel John's smile against his skin and so he released a soft sigh as he shifted back to press closer to his hero. "You're welcome. Happy Birthday, John."

John wiggled, hooking their legs together before he settled down so they could just lay together. It was warm, too warm for them to be laying so close but neither of them made an effort to move. Karkat curled his fingers with John's around his waist and let his eyes slip closed so he could just focus on how they felt together. He wasn't willing to accept that everything was okay between them. They were happy, sure, but there was a storm coming. Karkat wasn't sure when that storm would hit but they would revolt some day soon and they could not predict what the results would be. But for once in Karkat's life, things were okay. They wouldn't remain that way, he knew that, but he was willing to savor them for the time being and maybe, just maybe, he was willing to accept Roxy's words.

Perhaps he and John really were written in the stars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you ask, Yes. John fapped. That is a thing that happened and we all know it and Karkat knows it and mother earth knows it. 
> 
> I love Casey and Jesse together. I want to write more them together and I sure will. Also, wow guys getting a little heated there huh? Hehe. So what's to come next? How about a little hint. The chapter title is "Moirail Delima". I'm just going to let you stew in that for a little while. Could mean a lot of things couldn't it?
> 
> Thanks for reading! Please be sure to leave a kudo, if you already haven't, and a comment letting me know what you thought! You can only kudo a chapter fic once so comments are always very appreciated! Thanks again!
> 
> ~Addy~


	19. Month 11 - April: Part 2 - Moirail Dilemma

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am completely and utterly emotionally drained from this chapter. And You will see why. I apologize in advance for any errors I may have missed.
> 
> A few warnings for this chapter: Blood. And Murder. AKA- Highblood troll rage. Also John's got a temper like wow. 
> 
> Mood Music [Here](https://youtu.be/BJ4AMJ38sa4), [Here](https://youtu.be/ZVo4jeO-YTQ), And [Here](https://youtu.be/7nwO7nbcf1E)
> 
> Also [this](https://youtu.be/AtKZKl7Bgu0) because I needed something relatively happy for John and Karkat considering all the other songs are in referrence to Karkat and well, Gamzee. 
> 
> As done previously, everything bolded and italicized is Alternian speak. 
> 
> Enjoy!

_I've forgotten how to feel_

_These nights, they chill me_

_Light the way to something real and save me from myself_

_You, you chase the cold from me._

_With you, I'm learning to see._

_I just need you know._

_I tried to find a way to bury all the pain_

_But these skeletons won't sleep._

_You gave me clarity and showed me how to free these skeletons in me._

* * *

When John came back to the world of the awake, he noticed something almost immediately. It was  _hot_. He hadn't spent much time in Bloodstone but he was aware of how warm the place could get. Unlike Oakfield, there was moisture in the air that never went anywhere. Even in the winter, it lingered around making Bloodstone the warmest place in Albion.

And John was hot. He felt sticky with a bit of sweat and the warm troll curled up against his side was no help. It took a moment for his foggy sleep-ridden mind to realize who that troll was and a soft smile curled to his lips. He shifted, shoving the blankets off their bodies and slipped an arm around a bare waist.

Karkat's nose crinkled but other than that he didn't move. John was grateful for that. He wasn't ready to wake the troll yet. It was early morning and he figured the more sleep Karkat got the better mood he would be in for the rest of the day. He just settled his face in Karkat's neck and planted soft kisses against the soft skin.

His heart swelled with warmth and he was reminded once again just how much he cared for the troll in his arms. John had a large family. He'd always had a large family. But something had always been missing. When he met Karkat, he found that something. The troll who took care of him. The troll who raised him and then became something even more special in his life. He would never forget the blessing that Karkat was.

He finally had a family of his  _own_. He loved his fellow heroes but they all had their own lives and their own places in the world. John had been searching so long for his own place. Casey was a start. She was a sweetness he needed in his life and Annabelle was a friend he needed when he didn't know he did. But Karkat. Karkat was special. So exceptionally special and John was sure he'd started to fall in love with Karkat a lot sooner than he thought.

He was grateful for every moment he had with the troll and how loving Karkat had become over the past few months. It seemed like once the troll accepted what they had, he opened himself up and John loved him for that. He never had any intention of pressing Karkat into something he wasn't ready for and he tried not to let himself hope too much, but he liked to think that one day, Karkat would turn around and admit his feelings without hesitation.

John wasn't oblivious by any means. He saw the way Karkat watched him sometimes. He saw the way those lovely cheeks flushed with color every time he was caught staring. He saw the loving, tender, way Karkat would smile at him when the troll was sure he wasn't paying attention. He saw how Karkat would loosen just a bit around him, like his world was just a bit better with the hero at his side. Whether it was love or not, John couldn't be sure. But he was sure that he held importance in Karkat's life and that was all that mattered to him.

And then there was Jesse.

Seeing Jesse and Karkat together reminded John of a childhood he thought he'd forgotten. Jesse was something precious. He was another connection between them that Karkat had not even hesitated on. Casey, of course, we their child as well. But Rose had pointed out how Jesse was  _theirs_ and John knew exactly what that were a family.

John shifted slightly, pressing his face more into the warm neck of his troll, his fingers curling over a bare hip. His mind chose that moment to remind him of some words he had spoken when he was just a little kid.

" _I'm going to marry you one day, Karkat."_

His cheeks flushed at the memory and he pressed closer to the troll in his arms. It was embarrassing to think about but he had meant those words with all his heart back then. He'd never completely looked at Karkat as a parent. Just someone special who he loved very much. Strange how he fully intended to stand by those words as long as Karkat let him.

"Ugh." Karkat grumbled and shifted around, moving his legs up and down before his face contorted in a scowl. "Hot, fuck it's hot." His voice was heavy with sleep and when he pried his eyes open they quickly shut again against the bright sunlight streaming in from the window. "Fuck."

"Good morning grumpy puss." John teased softly, planting another soft kiss to his shoulder.

"Fuck, John, wow." Karkat grumbled, his nose crinkled and his lips curled over his fangs and he pushed against John's shoulder. "Why's it so fucking hot?"

"Well, it is spring in Bloodstone. That's equal to summer in Bowerstone."

"Blistering asscrack of hell." He shoved at John's face with one hand. "Get off me. It's too hot for this shit."

"Mmm, but I'm comfy." John pressed forward, grabbing Karkat's hand with his own so he could lean forward and plant kisses over his cheek.

"Oh my, fucking, damnit, John." Karkat grumbled with a hint of a smile on his lips as he tried to push John's face away with his free hand. "Hot, too hot. Shit, I'm not made for this weather." He flopped onto his back, spreading his legs as wide as they could go and John was acutely aware of the fact that Karkat was naked in bed beside him.

"It's the moisture in the air. From being on the coast." John let his hand splay over Karkat's stomach and tucked his other arm under his head so he could look down at the troll.

Karkat's eyes closed and he just laid there breathing for a moment before he grunted. "Oakfield's on the coast."

"True, but it's farther north. The summer's aren't too bad there. I hope you brought cool clothing."

"Rose told me it would be warm."

"You want to sleep some more?"

"Too fucking hot for that." Karkat rubbed a hand over his face before he finally sat up, making John's hand drop into his lap. "Please tell me we have running water."

John laughed softly and sat up as well, pulling his hands away from the troll who was flushed with color from head to toe. "We do."

"Thank fucking maker." Karkat slipped off the sticky sheets and shoved his feet into his boots to avoid the dirt on the wood floors. John had a great view of a perky little ass before Karkat disappeared behind the small curtain that separated the bathroom from the rest of the room.

"I figured we'd have some breakfast downstairs and then head out." John spoke as he slipped off the bed to follow the other into the bathroom.

"Oh right." Karkat twisted the knobs of the sink until cool water was flowing. "Circus." He bent over the sink to splash a good amount of water in his face.

"Yeah, circus." John chuckled softly, coming around the curtain to lean against the wall, waiting for his turn at the sink.

"What is it again?" Karkat asked before filling his mouth with water to swish around.

"It's hard to explain. But you'll see. It'll be fun."

Karkat shrugged and spit out the water, rubbing his lips with the back of his hand before he focused on his reflection in the mirror. His hair was a mess, which was pretty normal but he spent a minute or two digging his claws through it to give it some form of control. He gave up eventually but he didn't miss the way John was eyeing his body. Did the hero even realize Karkat could see him through the mirror? Probably not.

"Come on. I'm hungry." Karkat grumbled, a flush on his cheeks as he passed by John to find his bag for clothes.

"Yup. One minute!" John flashed him a smile before hurrying to do his business in the bathroom.

* * *

Strange music floated through the moist air and nearly everyone wore some type of costume. Laughter filled the area and though there was a dark feeling in Karkat's stomach, it didn't really match the atmosphere. Especially considering the large smile on John's face. Karkat tried to focus on that. Truth be told, the circus wasn't all that bad. The strange people running around with face paint unsettled Karkat but he stuck close to John's side and that was enough for him.

The animals seemed to catch Karkat's attention the most. The fire breathers and sword swallowers didn't do it for him, though John sure was in awe. He'd seen trolls do much worse, though he had to give the humans credit for being able to do such things. But the animals fascinated Karkat. Everything he'd managed to see in Albion where animals Alternia had but these animals. They were from different countries and a few were even from Aurora.

Karkat's favorite was the large hay colored cat that John referred to as a lion. It looked vicious and yet, when it laid down on the ground and stretched out it looked like the most warm thing in the world. John would never admit the lion reminded him of Karkat. Vicious on the outside but a big softy on the inside. He didn't feel like getting punched on such a lovely day. Even though the humidity was nearly suffocating they were still managing to enjoy themselves.

About halfway through the day, Karkat ended up with a strange little stuffed animal under his arm because John insisted on winning the damn thing after seeing Karkat stare at it for an extended period of time. It was handmade and actually rather cute, with a button nose and a mane. Karkat would never admit how much he liked the little stuffed lion and he swore to pawn it off on Jesse as soon as they got home. Until then, he kept the thing securely tucked under his arm and it would stay there until he could stuff it away in his bag when they got back to the Inn.

"Oh!" John gasped softly, lifting up on his toes to peer over the crowd of people they suddenly stumbled upon. There was a banner that lead into a large tent with a language neither of them understood on it. "I wonder what that is."

"Seems popular." Karkat mumbled softly, tucking in close to John when a child ran past him.

"I heard it's a specialty." A woman to John's right spoke, catching their attention. There was a shy smile on her lips as she glanced up at John, keeping the child she had with her tucked against her side. "A show."

John perked a brow and offered the woman a kind smile. "Is that so? Do you know what it is?"

"There's a lot of rumors. Some say it's a banshee. Some say it's a troll."

Karkat stiffened abruptly and prickled like a startled cat. John's hand found his lower back quickly and offered gentle rubbing circles as the hero focused on the woman. "A troll you say?"

"Mhm! I believe those monstrous earth trolls we always hear about. Though, I'm sure you've dealt with plenty of them before Mr. Hero." There was a faint flush on her cheeks that made Karkat's hair stand on end.  _She was flirting with him._

"Oh well, yeah." John chuckled softly, slipping his arm around Karkat's waist to bring him closer. "Kinda dangerous of them to have one though."

"They're just rumors. Apparently they've been traveling all around Albion showing it off."

"You wanna go see, Karkat?" John turned his attention to the troll at his side, a faint smile on his lips.

"Do  _you_ want to go see?"

"Yes."

"Alright then." He shrugged as if it didn't matter to him one way or another. But he was still feeling a bit of alarm at the word troll. His spine tingled and that dark feeling in his stomach returned full force.

"Great!" John thanked the woman with a gentle smile before he led Karkat around the crowd to find their way inside the tent.

People crowded around what looked to be a stage but there was a large red curtain blocking whatever was on it from public view. The show had yet to start so John pulled Karkat to the side, near the back of the tent where they could stay together without being pressed up against everyone else. They were both tall enough to see over the crowd without much effort and the stage was in clear view.

John noticed the two men dressed in black on either side of the stage with weapons attached to their belts along with what looked like whips. Guards as far as he could tell. That made him narrow his eyes in alarm. He couldn't help but feel like there was something wrong with this. It they did have some monster in a cage, it could go south very quickly. If it was a hobbe, that wasn't too much to worry about. But nearly anything else John could think of was a danger to everyone around him.

"You feel that?" Karkat asked softly, his eyes narrow and his lips pulled over his fangs as his claws gripped at John's white t-shirt. "It feels... wrong."

"If they have a monster behind that curtain I'm stopping this." John assured him, slipping his arm around the troll's waist to keep him close. It was hotter in the tent than outside but Karkat didn't seem to mind the body heat shared between them. If anything, he pressed closer into John's side and clutched the stuffed lion in his hand just a bit tighter.

"Is this what humans do for entertainment? Capture innocent creatures and show them off?"

"You liked the lion."

Karkat turned his nose up and sniffed at the air. "That lion was happy. Whatever this is... It's dripping with disdain, hatred and pain."

"Well, then chances are it is some monster."

"I repeat myself. Is this what humans do for entertainment?"

"I don't... I mean, this is a first for me."

Karkat glanced around the room, taking in the excited faces of the families gathered around the stage. They couldn't feel the atmosphere like John and Karkat could. They had no idea that what they were about to see could possibly kill them. They had no idea at all. And that bothered the fuck out of Karkat. He wanted to say something, do something, but there was nothing he could do. Not until they knew for sure that whatever was behind that curtain was a danger to them all. Even if it was chained and caged, the rage floating through the air made his hair stand on end. It screamed of a high-bloods rage and that was terrifying.

"Ladies and Gentlemen!" A voice boomed over the crowd, bringing all the conversations to a sudden halt as an older man, with grey hair and a grey mustache stepped onto the stage. He wore a black suit and a little top hat with a cane at his side. He was short and stout, with a large belly and a strange smile on his lips. It was much too hot for such an outfit but he didn't seem to be affected by the stuffy heat in the tent at all. "Boys and girls! Welcome to Singly Brothers special event!"

The crowd cheered for him and Karkat watched as a few fathers picked up their children and put them on their shoulders, so they could see. The excitement was clear in the air but underneath it, Karkat could feel the rage suddenly disappear as if it had never been there before. It made him relax slightly but he was still on guard and John's eyes never left the stage, ready to hop in the air the second something went wrong.

"We searched far and wide to bring the most amazing of creatures and let me tell you! This one was the hardest! But here we have it. Now, be careful ladies and gentlemen." The man's mustache twitched as he swiped his arm in an dramatic motion. "It's a dangerous thing but don't you worry your little heads! It is safely secured. I present to you," He raised both hands in the air, letting his cane dangle from one hand, "Capricorn!"

The curtain suddenly fluttered and the man jumped off the stage just in time as the fabric swooshed to the side to reveal what everyone was there to see. There was a sudden hush over the crowd before gasps where heard and murmurs began. None of that registered to Karkat. Not one ounce of it. He was pinned to the floor and his chest exploded with a tight slashing of warmth that ripped him to the core. The stuffed lion dropped from his hand and the animistic hiss that came from his lips caught John's attention.

Karkat shook and the crimson in his eyes was glowing to the point that John was sure he was about to snap. It was wrong it was so wrong and it took everything John had in him not to gather Karkat up in his arms and try to protect him from the scene on stage.

It was a troll. Not a Albion troll. But a real live, breathing, though barely, Alternian troll.

" _Gamzee_." Karkat hissed, his lips curling over his fangs in the most threatening manner John had ever seen. But then, that name. He was struck to the core and found he couldn't look away from the troll crumbled over on the stage.

He was on his knees, wearing nothing but torn baggy pants. Solid iron shackles kept him attached to the stage around his wrists. He had no chance of moving but he didn't even seem to want to try. He was tall, that was obvious even with him bent over like that. His horns were large and curled coming through thick long dirty hair that fell over his face, keeping it mostly from view as he hung his head. There were scars covering very inch of grey skin that could be seen. But it was worse than that. His skin was darker than what appeared to be healthy and with every breath he took, it was a ragged sound that shook his entire body. And there wasn't much of a body to begin with. As he bent over, the joints in his spine were obvious and even his ribs could be seen. He was malnourished, dirty and just plain  _wrong_.

"Gamzee!" Karkat snapped suddenly, red tears filling his eyes as he suddenly jumped in the air.

"Karkat!" John called after him but it was too late.

Gamzee moved only slightly, lifting his head just enough to give his audience a good view of his face. He wore the same paint over his face as the people walking around the circus. Clown paint and it just looked so fucking wrong. His normally vibrant amethyst eyes were dull and lacking any amount of life. But before Karkat could get to him, there was a whip wrapped around his wrist and he was tugged to the ground.

"Shit." He cursed softly as the crowd dispersed around him, their eyes wide in realization that he was a troll as well. "You motherfucking assholes." He hissed, deep and dark in the pit of his throat as he slowly got to his feet, his focus fully on the guard that had stepped forward to block him from Gamzee.

"Karkat!" John landed beside him, a look of panic on his face as he looked him over. "Are you okay?"

"Let him go!" Karkat hissed, his chest filled with pain and desperation as his claws grew and sharped at his sides. He would fight his way through them if he had to and he wouldn't stop till he had Gamzee.

"Karkat. Shit. Karkat please just-"

"What on earth is going on here?!" The man in the suit from before stepped up beside the guard, his eyes narrowed as he glanced between John and Karkat.

"Sir." John spoke swiftly with a tone that demanded to be heard as he pushed into the air, showing who he was and what he was without having to say a word about it. "We don't mean to intrude, but that's a troll you have there and it's exceptionally dangerous to keep him like this."

The man glanced between John and Karkat. "I am fully aware of what I have in my possession."

John narrowed his eyes. "Then you know how fucked up this is."

"Give him to me!" Karkat snapped, his eyes blazing with a fire John had never seen before.

"I'm afraid we can not do that." Another voice, deeper, darker, came from practically out of no where until the owner of the voice stepped out from behind the curtain. He was tall, lithe and rather handsome by the look of it. But there was something wrong with his smile. It was broken and twisted and it made Karkat want to tear his claws into it. "My brother and I brought it fair and square from its own people. It belongs to-"

"His name is Gamzee!" Karkat snapped, his mouth practically foaming as his eyes landed on the man who continued to refer to his once moirail as a piece of property.

"That matters not." The man's strangely green eyes focused on Karkat. "You're all nothing but lower creatures."

"Okay." John sighed heavily as he hovered in the air and called on his magic, making his hands start to glow blue. "Are we going to have to do this the hard way?" He didn't want to. He  _really_ didn't want to but he knew there was no way Karkat was going anywhere till he had Gamzee and John wasn't all that okay with leaving a troll in their care anyway.

"I respect you as a hero, good sir." The plumper brother spoke and lifted his hand up to snap his fingers. "But I'm afraid we are not prepared to just hand it over." The air stiffened and the crowd of humans was suddenly rushed out of the tend and replaced with guards. Too many of them and yet none of that mattered to Karkat. "Are you honestly prepared to fight you own kind for such a worthless creature?"

"Wouldn't be the first time." John grunted out, his eyes narrow and bright blue with the magic flowing through his body, sparkling along his skin.

"John." Karkat chocked out softly and brought everyone's attention to the growing growling sound in the room.

"Secure him!" The tall man shouted, pointing to Gamzee.

The troll was shaking and his chest rumbled with a growl that struck Karkat to the core. That was not a threatening grow. It was a call for help and damn if he was going to ignore it. He launched in the air and pushed his way toward Gamzee. But he was stopped once again by two whips around each wrist. He slammed down onto the stage with a hard smash that made John call out. Karkat thrashed about but the whips weren't going anywhere. There was something on them and it burned his skin, making him hiss in pain as he tried to get back to his feet.

"Don't let them near one another." The man with the strange eyes stated, glancing down at Karkat like he was lesser than shit.

"You-" Karkat was cut off by the sudden pressure around his neck and he tried to claw at the whip around his neck only to find he couldn't. Three men were holding him in place by the tightened whips. If it wasn't for the strange burning, Karkat was sure he could break free but he was desperate and Gamzee wasn't focusing. Something was very wrong with him and it broke everything inside of Karkat to see him like that. No matter how horrible their last encounter had been.  _Gamzee didn't deserve this._

" _Gamzee."_  He croaked out, trying to gain the troll's attention but Gamzee just sat there on his knees, more broken than Karkat had ever seen him. What hell had he been through?

"Alright, that's fucking it!" John hissed, the air suddenly charging with blue spikes like lightening bolts. "You let him go right this fucking instant."

"I'm afraid I can not do that." The lithe man picked at his nails, not even bothering to look up at John. "Seeing as I now have two trolls."

" _Let. Him. Go._ " John's voice dropped into a threatening tone that made Karkat's spine shiver and he glanced over his shoulder to see John a lit with a blue glow that smelled of danger.

All Karkat did was shift and suddenly, he was shoved to the ground. He tasted blood and dirt and there was a hard knee in the back of his neck, keeping him pinned as the two other men set to restraining his hands with iron shackles they just happened to have on them. There was a moment of panic that flooded Karkat's body that caused him to thrash as much as he could to keep them from hurting him. But suddenly there was a hand around his horn and he froze completely.

"Keep wiggling like that and I'll rip this off." One of the guards hissed softly, pressing his knee just a bit harder into Karkat's shoulder blades as a warning.

It was possible. But Karkat didn't believe the guard had the juice.

"Karkat! Fucking damnit what the hell is wrong with you people?!" John hissed, his hair poofing out as magic sparked along his skin. "Last chance, fuckers. You let him go or you're all going down. You think I can't do it? Remember who the hell I am!" Magic lashed out suddenly and the guard on Karkat's back was gone, flying across the tent until he connected hard with a pole. He slumped to the ground without any more movement and the plumper brother suddenly seemed to get what the fuck was about to happen.

"Oh my. Perhaps-"

"No." The taller brother stood his ground and grit his teeth.

"Gamzee..." Karkat closed his eyes tightly and the name was nothing but a whimper as tears leaked from his eyes. He had no control over them. He'd never seen his once moirail so fucking broken before and he didn't know how to handle it. He couldn't even touch him. He was still being held down by two guards but that wouldn't stop him. He was waiting, calculating for the right moment to move, to throw them off.

John lifted his hands into the air, swirling around a bright blue ball of magic aimed for the two brothers. The plumper one suddenly panicked and without a second thought, he ran away, leaving his brother to fend for himself along with the twenty or so guards. Two guards wrapped their whips around John's arms but the magic just burned them off.

Abruptly, the sound of metal breaking echoed over the tent. Everyone froze and slowly came to the realization that Gamzee was standing now, the broken chains of his shackles hanging from his bony wrists. He was tall, looming and absolutely terrifying with his eyes so wide and sullen like he was about to drop dead at any moment. Those dull eyes glanced around the tent, landing on John and then the tall brother and then Karkat who was still pressed face first on the floor only a few feet away from Gamzee.

Amethyst exploded to life, glowing the bright color of a highblood before he tilted his head backwards and unhinged his jaw, letting it drop to release the most terrifying sound ever to be heard. It was worse than a banshee screech and John had to cover his ears quickly as Karkat winced, burying his head into the ground as best as he could. The natural reaction to submit.

"Secure him!"

At the words, Gamzee's head snapped forward in an unnatural way and he was nothing but uneven fangs and spitting snarls. It happened too fast for John to even comprehend. One second Gamzee was standing there and the next second his fangs were tearing into the neck of one of the guards holding Karkat down. The man screamed but Gamzee silenced him with a large clawed hand and ripped the flesh from his bones. Blood splattered everywhere, covering his bare skin and splattering on Karkat who was starting to wiggle his way free from the other stunned guard.

"No, No No. Wait." The other guard released Karkat and started to scurry backwards, his face a look of utter terror as Gamzee turned on him. John and Karkat both had to look away as Gamzee sunk his claws into the man's throat and ripped flesh from his bones.

"Do something!" The man snarled at John.

John snapped out of his daze and glared at him. "What? Stop him? From what?"

"John." Karkat called the best he could as he moved to his knees, trying to break the shackles on his wrists, keeping his arms pinned behind his back. "Don't... Fuck."

"Karkat!" John shifted in the air but that quickly gained Gamzee's attention. He turned on John with a harsh snarl, his long face contorted in a painful expression, the rage evident throughout his entire body.

" _ **Don't! Gamzee, don't you fucking dare!**_ " Karkat stumbled to his feet and using every ounce of strength he didn't even realize he had, plus a little help from John's magic, he ripped the shackles from his hands, leaving them a bit bloody but free. "John, don't provoke him. Don't-"

The sound of a gun going off echoed through the room and brought everything to a halt. Gamzee wavered, stumbling to the side for only a second before he lunged forward and tackled the brother who had dared to shoot him. Horrible shot too. Right in the arm and no where near anywhere that would stop him.

" ** _Makerdamnit!_** " Karkat hissed as he stumbled forward, ignoring the strange pain that exploded in the back of his mind.

None of the guards moved to protect the man they once called their master because they couldn't. John had them all frozen thanks to his magic. They could only look on as Gamzee set to work ripping the man's spine from his body like it was the only thing he was capable of doing. He was focused and intense and his eyes were so wide, they could have popped out of his skull. The sounds emanating from him were bone chilling and John was vibrantly aware that they had an out of control highblood troll on their hands.

"Don't!" Karkat called out when John suddenly made to move forward.

That was all it took. Gamzee's attention was brought to John who was floating in the air a good while away. But that didn't matter to Gamzee. He moved to his feet, his claws glistening and his chin dripping with blood. He crouched down in a warning stance that made John's hands burst with blue magic. He would fight Gamzee if he had to.

" _ **You blustering piece of doped shit!**_ " Karkat hissed and before John could stop him, Karkat lunged for Gamzee.

The highblood didn't even seem to notice as the smaller troll attached to his back, thighs pressed hard into his bony hips and claws grasping into his hair. His only focus was on the human threatening him with blue magic. He snarled but then his world spun as his cheek was abruptly patted. Karkat's face was contorted in pain and desperation as he grabbed one horn and held on as he papped Gamzee's cheek repeatedly.

Slowly, reality came back to the highblood and life returned to his eyes. His body filled with a warmth he had not felt in so long and he tilted his head into Karkat's palm. With a faint relieved sigh, Karkat ran his fingers through Gamzee's hair the best he could given the position and stroked his horn with a gentle touch.

Gamzee collapsed to his knees without warning and Karkat was jarred, clinging to that horn for a fraction of a second in fear of falling off. But Gamzee settled, not moving but letting Karkat touch him. Karkat swallowed hard, his heart pounding loudly in his ears as he slipped off Gamzee's back and shifted around till he could face him, grabbing his face between his hands. The paint was smeared but there was a relaxed expression on his face as his eye lids drooped and he focused his attention on Karkat.

" ** _Oh you pathetic fucking piece of shit._** " Karkat purred softly, tears falling from his eyes as he pressed their foreheads together. " ** _What have they done to you?_** " Gamzee stiffened all of a sudden and Karkat shushed him, patting his cheeks gently with the palms of his hands as he pressed forward to crawl into his lap. " ** _Shh shh, no it's okay. You're safe. It's okay. I'm here. Shh, Gamzee, you crazy fucker, I'm here_**."

A soft rumble came from Gamzee's chest in a noise of agreement and his eyes slipped shut as he leaned his head into Karkat's touch. Slowly, his arms came up to wrap around Karkat's smaller body to hold him in place as Karkat set to work petting his hair, face and horns softly, shushing him to the best of his ability.

"Is he... okay?" John asked softly, settling on the ground beside Karkat at a decent distance just in case Gamzee decided to lash out again.

"Yes." Karkat mumbled softly, tucking Gamzee's head into his throat and pressed his cheek against dirty black hair. His eyes were swollen from emotion as he met John's and they shared a soft moment of "oh holy fuck that just happened". "He's fine now. I shooshpapped him into oblivion."

"Thank goodness." John exhaled and dropped to his knees beside Karkat, managing to wrap an arm around both trolls without disturbing Gamzee. "Fuck, Karkat, I'm so sorry."

"Shh." He tugged one hand free from tangled waves of black to plant his fingers against John's cheek gently, papping him as well. "Don't."

"I thought they were going to... Fuck." His shoulders shook as he leaned into the troll, taking his spot on the other side of Karkat's neck.

With a faint sigh, Karkat wrapped his arm around John's shoulders, keeping the two of them pressed as close as possible and eased his throbbing heart. "We're okay. We're all okay." He didn't even notice the fresh tears of relief falling from his eyes but they didn't matter. All that mattered were the two men in his arms. They were safe and they were okay.

* * *

Karkat swallowed hard, his tongue feeling much too thick for his mouth as he clung to John's front, his claws seeping into his shirt and his forehead pressed against the human's throat. John's hands were gentle on his back, leaving soft soothing circles as they held on another. Kankri did his best to pretend like he wasn't right beside them so they could have their privacy but Jesse was glancing between them like he knew something was so very wrong.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Karkat's voice was muffled against John's neck.

"Shh, it's okay. I understand." John's voice was soothing as he nuzzled into Karkat's hair and planted a soft kiss to it.

"It's  _cheating_." Karkat groaned, his eyes filling with tears he wasn't sure he even had anymore.

"Is it cheating if I approve of it? And anyway, this is different Karkat. We're not... Shit." He bit his lower lip and glanced at Kankri who stood up straight all of a sudden.

"Ah, Jesse, why don't we give them a little time alone?"

The little boy shifted around in Kankri's arms to reach out and pat Karkat's head. "Papa's okay?"

"Papa's okay." Karkat swallowed hard and managed to flash his son a smile that seemed to relieve the little boy.

"Papa has a present for you." Kankri offered the boy a soft smile. "Why don't we go see what it is?" Jesse nodded, glancing at his parents worriedly but he knew when things were just for grown ups. Kankri gave John a nod before he went off with Jesse back toward his cabin to give them some privacy.

John took a deep breath and he gathered Karkat's face between his hands, bringing their eyes together as he dipped his head down just slightly. "It's not cheating when we're not pale for one another."

Karkat crinkled his nose, one red little tear slipping down his flushed cheek. "We are pale for each other."

"Okay but, shit Karkat, it's more than that and you know it." John sighed softly and pressed forward, letting their lips catch for just a second. "But that's not what matters right now, okay? He needs you. He really needs you and I'm not going to stop you from doing what I know you are dying to do."

"I cheated on you." Karkat bit into his lower lip, a flash of pain coming across crimson eyes before he quickly glanced away.

"Fuck, no, you didn't. Damnit, Karkat, he was going to kill me. Or try to. You did what you had to do. And it  _worked_. And now he's in there alone and broken and he  _needs_  you to fix him. You... You're probably the only one who can, okay? I'm fine. We're fine. I  _promise_  you we are fine." In a fit of small desperation, John captured Karkat's lips with a searing kiss that left them both a little breathless. "But you have a job to do. A job only you  _can_ do. I'll be waiting so don't worry about me or Jesse. I've got him."

"Damnit John." Karkat breathed in a rush and pressed up on his toes to press their lips together once more, his arms going around John's neck to pull the hero down against him. The kiss was deep, warm and a bit desperate and it was everything they could possibly need at the moment. Their lips moved together slowly, perfectly, leaving them burning for more without the chance of doing something about it. When Karkat pulled away, his eyes were burning with new life and that was enough to make John smile. "I don't deserve you. I don't at all."

"You  _do_." He reminded him, his lips curled in a soft smile as he pecked a kiss to his lips once more. "You can do this."

Karkat nodded and when they pulled apart there was a confidant little smile on his lips that made John beam with approval. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

With a deep breath, Karkat turned around and disappeared inside his cabin, shutting the door behind him without a glance back to John. His heart clenched and called out for the hero but this was important. He couldn't chance Gamzee having another freak out with his family nearby. It was better to give them some time alone and Karkat knew John and Kankri could handle Jesse just for a few days while he sorted his shit out with Gamzee.

He slumped against the door for a few seconds, his heart burning in his chest as he eyed the troll spread out over his bed that was way too small for the large lanky troll. One of Gamzee's arms dangled over the edge and his legs were bent to accommodate the bed. He had managed to pass out before Karkat had even moved from the floor of the tent. John was able to carry Gamzee without much effort and they came back to Oakfield without a second thought. Everything was a blur to Karkat and he had to take a moment just to let it sink in that yes, that was Gamzee and yes, he had just stopped him from going on a highblood rage without sustaining any major injuries. Really, the only injuries he had were from those asshole guards and those had healed already thanks to John.

The scent of dried blood filled his cabin and it made his nose crinkle. He pushed off the door and started a pot of water over the stove so he could get to cleaning up his former moirail. It still felt so bizarre to him that Gamzee was  _there_. He was alive and breathing, though he was obviously horribly taken care of. He was too skinny for his own good and his skin just wasn't the right healthy grey it should have been.

Twenty sweeps and Gamzee looked like he'd been through fifty sweeps without an ounce of food or water. That thought made Karkat growl softly and his claws scrapped against the wood of his table in anger. Highblood trolls hardly aged at all once they reached adulthood and Gamzee looked worse than any troll Karkat had ever seen. If the highblood hadn't ripped that man's spine out himself, Karkat would gladly do it. Again and again.

The bullet wound on his arm wasn't too bad. Just a clip really but Karkat settled on the edge of the bed with a bowl of warm water in his lap and a wash cloth and set to work cleaning it the best he could. Gamzee didn't even flinch and it was starting to worry the troll but he pushed past it and worked on getting him as clean as possible. Fleck of purple and red blood fell away until the bowl was filled with dirty water and he had to dump it out for clean water. It took him four more bowls of water before he was certain Gamzee was a clean as he could be aside from the strange paint on his face.

Karkat grabbed a new bowl of water and a bit of soap for the paint before settling on his knees on the bed beside Gamzee's head. He pushed the troll around the best he could until he had his head in his lap. Those long horns were dirty and chipping from lack of polishing and Karkat vowed to deal with his horns after the paint. His touch was gentle as he got Gamzee on his side and his head in his lap so he could start dragging the cloth over the paint.

Dark grey skin was revealed as Karkat set to work and the strange long scars covering Gamzee's handsome face made something deep break inside of Karkat. He doubled over slightly, his chest heaving with a hiccuped sob as tears dripped from his eyes. It was too much. It was all too much. He shouldn't have left Gamzee. He should have never left.

" ** _Palebro._** " Gamzee's voice was soft and harsh with disuse as he reached up with one hand to slide his unclipped claws over Karkat's flushed cheek.

Karkat flinched, his eyes closing tightly has his hand stilled over Gamzee's cheek. " _Fuck_."

" ** _No tears, palebro._** " Gamzee mumbled softly, his eyes hazy as he shifted to roll onto his stomach, pushing himself further into Karkat's lap as his lanky arms wrapped around his waist loosely.

" ** _Damnit, Gamzee._** " Karkat hissed through his tears, his body shaking and his chest feeling like something was ripped out as he started cleaning the paint away even more. " ** _How could... Fucking shitspliting grubtoast how did this happen to you?_** "

One bony shoulder shrugged as an answer and Gamzee tilted his head into Karkat's hand, not bothering to move anymore than that.

Karkat's breathing became a bit harder as the paint was cleared away and he could see the face of his once moirail clearly. The scars were jagged, going from one corner of his eye, over his nose and stopping just above the corner of his lips. They had healed long ago but it was an obviously painful wound at some point. But those amethyst eyes were bright and filled with something Karkat hadn't seen in such a very long time as they gazed up at him.

" ** _I'm sorry._** " Karkat whimpered faintly, his hands shaking as he cleaned up the rest of the paint. " _ **I... I should have never left you.**_ "

"Shh." Gamzee reached up with one hand and managed to pap two fingers against a tear stained cheek. " _ **Motherfucking deserved it.**_ "

" ** _No, No Gamzee you didn't deserve this._** "

" _ **You blaming youself, palebro?**_ " Gamzee's brows furrowed for a second before his hand dropped to the bed and he wrapped his arms around Karkat's waist tightly. " ** _Don't be up and motherfucking doing that._** "

" ** _But it-_** "

A soft growl cut him off. That growl then shifted into a purr as his fingers started to card through dirty long strands of hair. Karkat didn't push the issue any farther because he knew if he did he might just manage to piss Gamzee off and he was too unstable for that right now. He took deep breaths and let his fingers trail over the scars on his shoulders before rubbing over his face, causing Gamzee to purr deeply in his chest.

" ** _What did they do to you?_** " Karkat whispered softly, his tears drying up as anger flared through his body.

" ** _Those fuckers?_** " Gamzee crinkled his nose as Karkat ran his fingers over it, tracing the scar. " ** _Nah, palebro, those are from GHB._** "

Karkat stilled, panic settling in before he decided to just let it go. It was too much. He couldn't deal with it right then. He nodded, breathing in deeply as he set to work pulling out the tangles from Gamzee's hair. " ** _Well... You're alright now._** "

Gamzee hummed softly, nuzzling his way into Karkat's stomach and propped his chin on a thigh to glance up at him. " ** _You all kinds of motherfucking miracles, Karkat._** "

" ** _Don't._** " He hushed him softly, petting along his cheek before focusing on his hair once again. " _ **You need a bath. And food. Are you hungry? You've got to be.**_ "

Gamzee's chest rumbled with a laugh and the faintest of smiles curled to his lips, revealing his uneven fangs. " _ **Forgot how motherfucking good it feels to have you fussing all over me.**_ "

" ** _It's my job, isn't it?_** "

The highblood perked a brow. " ** _Is it?_** "

" ** _Isn't it?_** "

" ** _Don't deserve you._** " Gamzee mumbled, letting his eyes slip shut.

" ** _No, you don't._** " Karkat's back stiffened as he continued working on that hair. " ** _You really don't. But here I am anyway._** "

" ** _I'm real sorry, Karkat._** " One eye peeked open at him. " ** _You deserves all kinds of better than me._** "

" ** _Yeah I do. I have better._** " He agreed, sniffing softly. " ** _But you need me right now and I'm not going anywhere until I know you're not going to go off and try to kill someone again._** "

" ** _Sorry, palebro._** " Gamzee mumbled softly, his eye slipping shut once more as he nuzzle into Karkat's thigh.

" ** _You should be._** "

Karkat wanted to get something in Gamzee's stomach but by the time he was done with that hair, the highblood was completely gone again. He assumed Gamzee really needed the rest so he didn't stir him. He tucked away wash cloth and bowl and when he moved to get up, those arms were around his waist and he was pulled down to lay on the bed beside the larger troll. He grunted, rolling his eyes in a bit of exasperation as Gamzee practically wrapped himself around him, nuzzling into his hair and tossing a leg over his body.

Karkat didn't object. It felt oddly nice to have Gamzee's body wrapped around his once again, even if there was so much going on. So many unanswered questions and too much pain to forgive. But he would stand by Gamzee's side until the troll was capable of being on his own. He wasn't sure how long that would be given what he'd probably been through but Karkat would stick to his job. Because he knew there were people out there who loved him and were depending on him. That was enough for him.

* * *

Jesse curled up on Kankri's bed with the stuffed lion clutched tightly in his hands as he napped, looking like the precious little angel they all thought he was. John couldn't help but smile at him but when Kankri placed the cup of tea down on the table in front of him, John was brought back to reality of the situation. He sighed softly and thanked the troll, running a hand through his hair before he picked up the cup and took a sip.

"I don't really know what to do." John said softly after a few moments of silence. "I mean, I know Karkat knows what he's doing but... I mean... Gamzee is  _vicious_. Shit you didn't see him Kankri, I'm terrified of leaving Karkat alone with him like this."

Kankri nodded, reclining in his seat as he sipped his tea. "I have seen Gamzee at his worst. I have seen him spiral from a highblood rage and I am aware of how absolutely ghastly it can be. But Karkat..." He sighed softly and offered John a supportive smile. "Karkat has always had a way with Gamzee. He may not be a full troll, but Karkat has the strongest pale feelings I've ever seen. They are... Well, I do not wish to speak ill of either of them but I am sure Karkat is aware of how... unhealthy they are."

John perked a brow and sat up straight. "Unhealthy?"

"It's a specific type of desperation. Gamzee needs Karkat more than Karkat needs him. In the past, though I can not in any way assume how it will be in the future, their relationship was more one sided than anything. Gamzee was never really there when Karkat needed him. I believe... That may be why Karkat is so afraid he has cheated on you."

"I just, is it really cheating?"

"In Alternia, it would be considered so. But emergencies are usually understood. This was certainly an emergency. Yet at this point, He would be handed off to his true moirail and they could handle the caring process."

"Karkat's all he has."

"I am aware." Kankri narrowed his eyes slightly as he placed his cup back on the table. "My apologizes, John, I must admit I am quite unhappy with this entire situation. I'm afraid I may not be able to give you the support you desire."

"No, it's okay." John shook his head. "Actually, it's nice to know I'm not the only one who's not okay with this."

"I may not know for sure, but from what I could tell, Karkat is not happy either." Kankri's face relaxed slightly. "You realize he would much rather be here with you. Because you can offer the comfort he so desperately needs right now."

"I'd rather him be here too." John groaned, slumping on the table to bury his head in his arms. "Fucking hell that was crazy, Kankri. I thought I was going to lose him. I'd never been so...  _angry_ before."

"Love makes us do thing we would normally not." Kankri offered softly, his voice a bit soothing to John's worries. "I do believe what Karkat is doing right now is more for you and him than for Gamzee. He does still harbor pale feelings for Gamzee, but those will never compare to how he feels for you."

John lifted his head just slightly, peeking at Kankri over his arm with flushed cheeks. "You think so?"

"I have not been around the two of you very long but it is rather obvious how much you care for one another. Do you notice the way he looks at you when you're not paying attention? Do you notice the way his eyes follow you no matter who else is around? My apologies if I have spoken too much." Kankri was quick to apologize with the wide eyed look John was giving him.

"No, it's okay." The hero shook his head and sat up straight, dropping his hands in his lap. "I just, yeah I've noticed those things. I know he cares about me. I know that."

"Never forget that. Just because he is with Gamzee right now does not in any way affect the relationship the two of you have."

"Is he... well is he safe? With Gamzee? Is Gamzee safe to be around right now?"

"The safest place for either of them right now, is together."

John heaved a sigh and nodded solemnly. "Kay. I'll give them a few days alone I guess." He glanced over to Jesse. "I can take him back home with me. It'd probably be a good idea for him to be around Casey right now. I know he's worried about us."

"Children are very keen. Though, I have no qualms with taking care of him, or you for that matter, until Karkat is free." Kankri offered, garnet eyes focused on the hero in a way that made him flush.

"Kankri..."

"Not like that." Kankri gasped softly, his face flushing red to his ears. "I swear both you and Karkat have very dirty minds. I meant, I will happily keep you company."

"Right." John laughed softly, the sudden panic that came over him melting away. "Yeah, Kankri, That'd actually be pretty great."

"I'd enjoy the company."

John nodded with a soft smile. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course, John." He reached forward for his cup and brought it to his lips.

"Why are you unhappy with it?"

Kankri flinched, spilling a bit of tea down the wrong pipe and left him with a little coughing fit. John sat up in alarm but Kankri held a hand out to him, assuring the hero that he was just fine. He swallowed a few times before he felt better and took some deep breaths. "I'm not sure I can properly answer that question. There are many reasons."

"Tell me them?"

"Ah. Well, First off, it's very unhealthy."

"You said that."

"And... Well, As I said, it is not cheating given the circumstance but I... Well, I'm very unhappy with it." Kankri prickled slightly and it reminded John of when Karkat would get too embarrassed to admit something.

"You're jealous." The words fell from John's lips with a bit of astonishment and the flush that spread over grey cheeks was the only answer he needed. "Wow, Kankri, I didn't know you were capable of that."

"There is so very much about me you are not aware of, John. I am more human than troll when it comes to my emotions so yes, I can be very selfish at times. But I did not express for the mere fact that I am almost certain Karkat does not feel the same way."

"Kankri." John laughed softly, reaching across the table to offer both of his hands palm up to Kankri. "You're his brother. He's been beaming ever since we found you. Well, not beaming cause Karkat doesn't beam, but he's been happy. Happier." John chuckled, rolling his eyes at his own words as he knocked his knuckles against the table. "And if I had to say something was pale, it would be the way you two are together. Can brothers be pale? Is that a thing? Or is that like incest?" John crinkled his nose.

"It's not entirely common among trolls but well..." Kankri sighed, placing his tea cup down so he could slide his palms over John's, letting the human wrap his fingers around his wrist. The human sure was affectionate and it reminded Kankri of someone else he knew. "Part human and all."

"Yeah! So like pale brotherly love or something. That's totally a human thing. I think you two are cute together. You look a lot alike and yet you're both really different."

"I will take that as a compliment." Kankri nodded his head as he curled his fingers, letting his claws scrape along John's skin gently.

"Mhm. You're important to him too, Kankri. Karkat's not the kind of person to deal with people that he doesn't care for. Unless he has a reason." John trailed off, thinking about Dave for a second before he focused on Kankri again. "Point is, you're family. We're a family."

"We are?" Kankri's eyes widened slightly.

"Didn't you know that?" John smiled and squeezed Kankri's wrists a bit tighter. "Of course we're family, Kankri. I'm with Karkat, not sure in what way, but we're together. And you're his brother and now you're with us, and you're so great with Jesse. We're a family, Kankri."

"I... suppose we are." Kankri swallowed passed the lump in his throat and smiled tenderly. "I'm honored to be apart of such a lovely family."

"So am I." John grinned and gave Kankri's hands one last squeeze before they pulled apart. "Now, as a family, you have a duty to tell me all the cute things Karkat used to do when he was a baby."

Kankri's eyebrows shot up and a strange little giggle came from his lips. "Is that so?"

"Yeah! He raised me, you know? So he knows all my embarrassing childhood stuff. I need dirt on him."

They were both grateful for the subject change. "Well, If you insist."

"I wanna hear." Jesse spoke up softly, sitting up as he cradled the lion to his chest. "I wanna hear about papa as a baby."

"Come here." John pushed the chair back and patted his lap in an offering.

With a soft excited smile, Jesse slipped off the bed and crawled into John's lap, settling with his back against a strong chest and the stuffed lion wrapped up in his arms. Kankri smiled at the two of them, his heart filling with a tender warmth that he had not felt in a few long time. It helped melt away the bars he kept around it and he would forever be grateful that Karkat and John just happened to stumble upon him in Mourningwood. Fate was on his side for once.

"Well, if you must know, there was one time he decided he was a big troll and could bathe himself. I'd never seen so many bubbles."

Jesse giggled, bright and lively and settled every amount of despair either of the adults had. "Papa liked bubble baths?"

"He did." Kankri agree with a warm smile reserved for those of a young age.

"He still does." John pointed out with a chuckle, wrapping his arms around Jesse to squeeze him with a hug. "I think you two should take one together when he comes back."

"Soon?" Jesse asked, hopeful.

"Yes, Soon." Kankri promised when John gave a nod. "Would you like to know about the time he wandered off and came home with a kitten?"

"Yeah!" Jesse sat up with a grin, his eyes bright and hopeful.

John smiled at the boy he was lucky enough to call his son and listened intently as Kankri told the tale with a bit of enthusiasm that looked nice on the troll. His mind still had Karkat on it, but it was nice to hear happier things than to sit and worry about a troll that was completely capable of taking care of himself. John assumed it was love that made him worry anyway, no matter how sure he was that Karkat could handle himself. He'd witnessed Karkat shooshpap Gamzee down from a murderous rampage into a purring calm mess. Karkat knew what he was doing. John just had to keep his faith in that. He loved the troll, after all and trust was a huge part of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm just going to go sob in a corner for a little while because FUCK this hurt to write. I've been waiting for about 10 chapters to write this scene. In case you didn't know, I'm a hardcore pale GamKar shipper. And this just broke me. Because, look at them. Look how broken they both are. Gamzee broken because of what he's been through, Karkat broken because yes, he cares about Gamzee but he can't stay forever with him and they both know that. They know they are unhealthy. Ugh, excuse me while I cry a river of tears. If you're worried GamKar is a permanent thing in this story, well don't worry. It's not. Pale Karkri? Yeah, that's a thing. 
> 
> Thanks for taking the time to read this and if you need a tissue I have two boxes of them. We'll get more insight on this whole relationship in the next chapter. Karkat helping Gamzee come out of his stupor and John being the most supportive and amazing boyfriend(not officially) like ever. It'll be emotional too but a bit more light hearted with family time. I look forward to it.
> 
> Thank you again and please be sure to leave a kudo, if you already haven't, and/or a comment. Remember, you can only kudo a chapter fic once so comments are very much appreciated! 
> 
> ~Addy~


	20. Month 12 - May - Rediscovering Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized about a week ago that after this chapter, we have perhaps 4 chapters left of this story and it took my breath away. This is my baby. So Thank you. Thank you for sticking around this long and if you're new, thank you as well. Things are going to get pretty intense soon. Not in this chapter. And not in the next one. But soon. 
> 
> Mood music [here](https://youtu.be/R9HsVScOYWo) , [here](https://youtu.be/_1XoxRWhLZA) and [here](https://youtu.be/TdN5GyTl8K0)
> 
> As always, bolded and italicized is Alternian. Gamzee and Karkat go back and forth between the languages a lot so pay attention to that. 
> 
> Enjoy!!!!

_Loving can hurt._

_Loving can hurt sometimes._

_But it's only thing that I know._

_When it gets hard._

_You know it can get hard sometimes._

_It is the only thing that makes us feel alive._

_So you can keep me, inside the pocket of your ripped jeans._

_Holding me closer till our eyes meet._

_You won't ever be alone._

_Wait for me to come home._

* * *

Karkat spent a good chunk of his young life dealing with a highblood's rage and the aftermath. He knew Gamzee probably better than Gamzee even knew himself and he knew exactly what he had to do to bring the violent troll back to earth. He knew where to touch Gamzee and how to touch him. He knew what words to whisper to him and how to hold him. Back then, it was all Karkat did for a long time. His arms were a mold that Gamzee fit perfectly inside. He'd known then how unhealthy they were but there was something exceptionally intense about their feelings for one another.

Karkat was no fool to his feelings. As he sat there, with Gamzee's snoozing head in his lap, his back pressed against the wall with his legs spread out in front of him, he was abruptly reminded of his feelings. Gamzee was doing better. Recovery typically took a few days but Karkat had no idea all the shit Gamzee had been through and the highblood preferred to sleep than actually talk about anything. Which Karkat respected. What choice did he have anyway?

Gamzee's hair was actually clean for once, after an uneventful adventure in getting the asshole to take a bath. It felt soft and silky between Karkat's fingers and as that handsome face tilted into his touch, his heart thumped with the familiar intensity. It had been so long since he felt this way about someone. He assumed that your first pale love never really went away. No matter what happened. Yes, he was still mad at Gamzee for what had happened but at the same time, he felt too much pity over the highblood's situation to be able to focus on his anger.

Not to mention, he felt like he was cheating in some way. John understood. Karkat knew that but that didn't stop him from feeling bad about it. The pale thumping in his chest was nothing compared to the pale he felt for John and that made him have to accept the reality of his situation. He and John were not as pale as he had tried for them to be. If anything, he was more pale for his brother than he probably ever was for John.

His fingers stilled at that abrupt thought and Gamzee let out a soft groan, tilting his head more into Karkat's hand as the mutant stared off at the wall, his eyes slightly wide.

Kankri... Maybe. Maybe they were, Karkat thought. Maybe they were pale. Kankri sure touched him like they were but wouldn't that be weird? He took a deep breath and continued his petting through Gamzee's hair as he shook his head. They were brothers. What did it matter? His quadrants were one huge fucked up mess anyway thanks to being part human.

" _ **Lookin' all kinds of tense.**_ " Gamzee mumbled softly, his eyes open only a sliver as they starred up at Karkat.

Karkat tilted his head, glancing down at the troll in his lap with a perked brow. "You conscious enough to actually fucking speak to me?" Karkat mumbled in English, curious to see if Gamzee knew the language well enough.

Gamzee lulled for a moment, tilting his head from side to side before he stretched, reaching his hands passed Karkat's body and arching his back, a few bones cracking as he did so. Then, he flopped down like the useless sack of shit Karkat thought him to be and nuzzled into Karkat's offered hand.

"Feels good, palebro." He spoke the language as if he'd known it his whole life and Karkat assumed he'd picked up a lot in his many years as a human slave.

"Fucking better." He crinkled his nose and moved to stroke a long horn with his free hand. The long elegant horns were polished and smooth beneath his finger tips. He'd spent at least four hours or so working on them while Gamzee slept like an asstard.

Gamzee nuzzled into his thigh as his body twisted so he could lean more into Karkat's touch. His eyes closed, his face in a relaxed trusting nature as one hand came up to grasp Karkat's thigh, a reminder that he wasn't alone.

"I am sorry, palebro." Gamzee's voice was light but still a bit harsh from disuse. "Ain't never felt alright with how all that happened."

Karkat stared down at him for a moment, confusion evident all over his face. There were plenty of things Gamzee could have been talking about and Karkat wasn't sure which he was referring to. "You're going to need to be more specific there, Gamz."

Gamzee tensed for a moment before a deep groan came from his chest. " _ **Ain't heard you call me that in too motherfucking long.**_ "

" _ **Yeah, yeah, whose fault is that, huh?**_ " He grumbled softly, his eyes narrowing as he shifted both hands to dig into long thick black locks.

A faint whine came from Gamzee's throat as he nuzzled into Karkat's thigh. " _ **I'm all kinds of sorry, Karbro. Really. So sorry. Won't ever be able to say it enough. Ain't never felt right. What I did...**_ " He shifted, flopping his hands above his head for a few seconds before he found Karkat's wrists and pulled his hands from his hair. He shifted onto his back, planting his head right on Karkat's crotch as he grasped those wrists and brought Karkat's hands to his mouth. He was gentle, his claws sending tingles over Karkat's skin as he pressed soft kisses to each palm. Once he found the hand he was looking for, he released the other one and with a gentle tug, he ran his tongue over the faint scar covering Karkat's palm.

"Gamz..." Karkat's voice was tight, his breath hard to find as he glanced away, closing his eyes as his body shivered.

"So sorry." He mumbled softly, his lips cool against Karkat's palm as he planted gentle kisses over the long forgotten scar. "Never did deserve you. Never, never."

Karkat swallowed hard and chewed on his lower lip as he prided his eyes open to watch the other troll. "No, you didn't."

"Still don't." He admitted, pressing his lips once more to the scar before nuzzling into that palm. "Precious motherfucker."

Karkat doubled over at those words, his chest constricting tightly at the overwhelming emotion that flushed through him. "Don't... Makerdamnit Gamz, don't pull this fucking shit."

" _ **Sorry, sorry.**_ " He mumbled, his voice a tender purr as he stroked Karkat's hand, nuzzling more into his palm like it was the most precious thing in the world to him. And perhaps it was.

"I spent... Fuck." Karkat swallowed hard and pushed down the emotion threatening to overflow. "Twenty sweeps, Gamz. I spent twenty sweeps forcing myself to forget you. I never... I never blamed you. Not really. You did what anyone would have done. It... It all worked out for the best anyway. I have a home now. I'm happy. But you,  _fuck_."

"I'm okay, karbro." Gamzee assured him softly.

"No. No you're not. What... What the bulgefuck happened to you, Gamzee?"

He gave a slight shrug and shifted so Karkat's hand was cradling the side of his face. He was quiet for a moment and Karkat was sure he wasn't going to answer before those beautiful eyes opened once again to met his directly. "Papa got all kinds of mad. Guess he preferred to make some use out of a motherfucker by selling him off than keeping him locked up forever."

"Son of a  _bitch_."

"Ain't that bad, Karbro. I'm alright."

"Good thing you always did have a loose pan." He sighed, his shoulders relaxing slightly as he moved his hands to start petting through that crazy mane once again. "Most trolls would be broken right now."

"Nah, Karbro. Takes more than that to break a motherfucker like me."

He snorted affectionately. "Yeah, it does."

Gamzee hummed and reached his hands above him, stretching his arms and flexing his claws. Then he sniffed the air and perked a dark brow. " _ **Smells like human up in here.**_ "

" _ **It should.**_ "

" _ **Yeah?**_ "

" _ **I have a few humans, Gamz. Shit's changed.**_ "

" _ **I'd motherfucking say so.**_ "

"How much do you remember? From before... from... when I found you again."

Gamzee crinkled his nose in a manner that made his face much too cute for a highblood of his stature. "Bits."

"Do you remember... the flying human?"

"Blue bulgefuck."

Karkat snorted. "Yeah, that one. He's mine."

Amethyst eyes landed on him in a bit of surprise before a strange wide smile spread over Gamzee's face, revealing his uneven fangs that gleamed. " _ **Yours?**_ "

"Yes, mine." Karkat growled softly, his eyes narrowing at the cunning look in those stunning eyes. "Don't you say it, Gamz, I swear to fuck."

"Ain't ever seen you so flushed." He reached up with both palms to pap them gentle against Karkat's cheeks. The shorter troll was stunned for a moment as Gamzee's long fingers wrapped around the back of his neck, through his hair and tugged him down. It was an awkward angle, with Karkat's body bent in a strange way but Gamzee tugged until their noses could brush together. "Red looks good on you."

"Gamzee." Karkat growled a soft warning but that didn't stop the other troll.

Gently, and ever so tenderly, Gamzee lifted up and tugged Karkat down until their lips could slid together. It was just the soft pressure of lips on lips and one of the palest things Karkat had ever felt in a long time. His breath came in a rush from his nose and Gamzee's lips curled upward in a smile. The kiss lasted only a few seconds but when they pulled apart, there was a faint purple flush on grey skin and Karkat was brushing Gamzee's hands away from him.

"He good to you?"

"Yes." Karkat was startled by the question but answered as honestly as he could.

"Good."

"I forgive you, you know." Karkat shifted, sitting up straighter and crossing his arms over his chest as he peered down at Gamzee who just blinked up at him. "For hurting me."

Gamzee tilted his head to the side and the smile that spread of his lips was wide enough to reveal every fang he had in his mouth. It was a creepy ass smile but it was genuine and made Karkat's heart flop. " _ **Motherfucker don't deserve that but he'll motherfucking accept that.**_ "

Karkat rolled his eyes, a faint smile tugging on his lips as he pushed Gamzee's head out of his lap abruptly. The highblood flopped about for a minute as Karkat got to his feet and moved to make something for them to eat. He had to admit, he'd missed his once moirail. Perhaps more than he ever realized.

* * *

" _ **Looks like you got all kinds of shit on the pan.**_ " Gamzee's voice was soft in Karkat's ear and knocked the mutant troll from his thoughts.

Karkat blinked a few times, his eyes feeling a bit dry from his constant staring and glanced to the side, seeing a sliver of purple staring at him. They were curled together in bed, Gamzee pressed close to his side as he laid on his back, lanky arms and legs wrapped all around him. He had one hand curled with Gamzee's while the other just rested between them. The cabin was dark, with the black curtains blocking out every bit of sun that wanted to peek through.

" _ **You're supposed to be sleeping.**_ " Karkat pointed out, perking a brow as he turned his head to meet those glowing eyes head on.

" _ **So are you.**_ "

Karkat huffed at that and rolled his eyes as he moved to glance at the ceiling once again. " _ **I'm not the one recovering from highblood rage and maker knows what else.**_ "

Gamzee hummed softly before pressing forward, nudging his way into Karkat's neck until the mutant tilted his head, opening his throat to the other who just pressed his face into it. " _ **Pale's a two way path.**_ "

Karkat chuckled darkly, his eyes narrowing as his claws tightened around Gamzee's hand on his stomach. " _ **Since when?**_ "

" _ **Since now.**_ " Gamzee let out a growl as he pressed closer. " _ **Tell me what's going on all up in that intense pan of yours.**_ "

"And if I don't want to?"

Gamzee parted his lips and pressed a rather sloppy kiss to Karkat's throat that made the receiver tense up. "I'll pap you. Don't think I won't."

" _ **Ugh. You're annoying.**_ "

" _ **Two way.**_ " Gamzee reminded him.

Karkat let out a heavy sigh and vaguely wondered since when did Gamzee realized that it took more than one to have a healthy pale relationship. He didn't want to think too hard about it. So he let his thoughts roll around in his head for a few minutes before he decided to start talking.

"It's been... I don't know. Two weeks since you came here? Probably, I don't fucking know. I've lost track of time. And I haven't even seen them."

Gamzee didn't press. Just listened intently as he twirled their fingers together in a comforting manner.

"I fucking swear it's like I'm cheating. We're moirails, damnit. Or we were. Fuck if I know what we are now."

"Blue bro?" He questioned softly.

"His name is John, and yes, him. We were moirails before all this shit happened. But... we weren't moirails. Not really. Maker, fuck, I don't know what we were or what we are now and it's bothering the fuck out of me."

"Go ask the fucker."

"I can't leave you right now. You just had an episode hours ago."

Gamzee shrugged one shoulder and nuzzled a bit more into Karkat's throat, brushing his nose up the length of his neck. " _ **Sorry.**_ "

"Don't be. I made my choice. Taking care of you was that choice. But fucking hell, Gamz, I want to be with him." A rush of emotion suddenly came over Karkat at his words and he tugged his hand free from Gamzee to toss his arm over his face. " _Shit_ , I want to be with him."

Gamzee nuzzled closer and offered soft comforting kisses to his skin. "He the good sort?"

"He's fucking amazing, Gamz. The shit he puts up with. Fuck if I know why he puts up with me. No, I do know." He took a deep breath. " _ **He's in love with me.**_ "

" _ **Fucker's flushed?**_ "

" _ **So flushed.**_ "

Gamzee hummed softly. " _ **You deserve it.**_ "

Karkat twitched and pulled his arm away to glance at Gamzee like he'd just grown another head. "What?"

The highblood narrowed his eyes as he pulled away from that supple neck to stare down his once moirail. "I know how that pan of yours up and works. You're all thinking you don't deserve the flushed and you're motherfucking wrong, Karkat."

"Gamz-"

"Nah, bro, let me finish." He grabbed Karkat's shoulder and forced him to roll onto his side and face him fully. Gamzee dipped his head down, pressing their foreheads together for a second before he parted, curling his fingers under Karkat's chin to tilt his head back. "I watched you go back and forth between me and that sea fucker. I watched you fumble between Rezi and Solbro. I've watched for a long time, Karbro. Just cause you thought I wasn't listening don't mean I wasn't.

"You always think they can up and do better than you. You think there's something fucking broken with you cause you ain't feel the same as everyone else. Don't make you broken, Karbro. Just different. Ain't nothing wrong with different. And if the motherfucker loves you, he's got good reasons too. I know you ain't all up and believing that you're worth something but you are. You're worth a lot to a lot of fucking people."

Karkat's jaw clenched tightly and when he tilted forward, Gamzee accepted him, wrapping long arms around him and pulling him close. Claws curled against his bare chest and Karkat's forehead knocked against his collarbone. Emotion flowed through Karkat, sparking along his skin and making his eyes burn with tears he refused to shed.

"I'm part human, Gamz. I'm so fucked up."

The highblood tensed for a moment, his claws tightening over Karkat's bare back in a way that was more protective than threatening. "Explains a fuck lot."

"I'm pale and red for him."

"Well, you got those humans emotions. Pretty sure that shit's kinda normal for them. Ain't for us, which must be mighty fucking confusing for you. I'm sorry, Karbro." He placed a kiss to shaggy hair, just near a nubby horn. "But you flushed for him and him flushed for you. Pretty simple shit there."

"It's really not."

"Ain't when you think too hard about it. Flush ain't supposed to be complicated. You always think too hard, Karbro."

"Someone has to think."

"Ain't nothin' wrong with thinkin'. It's thinkin' too hard where shit gets fucked."

"You are so mighty helpful asshole."

Gamzee rumbled a laugh softly, his cool palms going over Karkat's shoulders to rub gently. "No need to make complicated where it ain't motherfucking complicated."

"You don't  _understand_." Karkat whined softly, his claws curling into Gamzee's chest. "I'm part  _human_."

"So? Ya always have been, ain't you? Why does that matter now?"

"I didn't  _know_ before."

Gamzee paused. "You didn't?"

"No. I knew I was fucked up. I knew I was a mutant with my fucking filthy blood but I had no idea I was... Fuck Gamz, I'm more of a freak than ever."

There was a growl that startled Karkat and he was grasped by the chin a bit hard and his head was forced back, revealing his neck and his eyes for Gamzee's glare to land on. "You ain't a freak."

Karkat snorted softly, trying to tug free from Gamzee's grip without success. "Then what the fuck am I? Because being troll and human isn't exactly  _normal_."

"Ain't nothing normal, Karkat." Gamzee's voice was a rumble in his throat, his eyes narrowing more into purple slits. "You are the most precious motherfucker in existence and I ain't gonna sit here and allow you to shittalk yourself."

"I'm not-" His words came to an abrupt halt when a cool palm tapped against his cheek. He stuttered for a second, his eyes closing and he tried to tilt his head back more but Gamzee's grip on his chin kept him in place. " _Fuck_."

"Bluebro thinks you're precious. Fuckers all up and flushed for you, ain't he? I remember-I remember how pissed he was. When those assholes got you caught up and shit. Motherfucker was gonna explode. Don't do that shit unless you all kinds of flushed for someone."

"Alright,  _fuck_ , I get it, Gamz, let me go."

The highblood sniffed before he released Karkat's chin, rubbing his skin gently for a second. "Precious."

"Yes, okay, I'm precious, fucking maker." Karkat rubbed his chin with the back of his hand, glaring up at the highblood with less anger and more agitation. "I don't know if I preferred you being oblivious or what."

"As much as you did for me, a feelin' jam is the least I can do."

"Ugh, don't call it that, wow, oh my fuck." A burst of a laugh came from his lips and he tilted forward, knocking his head against Gamzee's chin gently. "We are not moirails."

"Nah, we ain't. But, we're friends, yeah?" Gamzee asked hopefully, nuzzling his cheek against Karkat's hair.

"Yeah. Yeah we are."

Gamzee nodded, letting out a noise of contentment as he wrapped his long fingers over the back of Karkat's head and held him in place. They were quiet for a while, just feeling the other troll breathe and take in what the other had to offer. Admittedly, it was nice to get that shit off his chest but Karkat would never actually let Gamzee know that.

"How'd you find out what you are?" Gamzee asked, his voice a bit thick with sleep as he ran his fingers through shaggy black hair.

Karkat melted at the touch, his eyes slipping closed. "Kankri."

The air suddenly shifted and Karkat found himself pushed away, his head spinning as Gamzee grabbed his face and forced their eyes to meet. There was a panicked expression on that handsome face and it brought every instinct up on it's hind-legs in Karkat's mind. "Kankri?"

Karkat blinked, his eyes widening as Gamzee glanced around the room, like he was just waiting for something to jump out and hurt them. "What? Yeah, Kankri. You know, my brother?"

" _ **Is he okay?**_ "

"...What?"

" _ **Is he hurt? Is he okay? Where is he?**_ " Gamzee sat up suddenly, pulling away from Karkat to glance around the room, his eyes wide and his hair an absolute mess.

"Uh, Gamz." Karkat sat up, brushing the thin sheet off their bodies to shift on his knees, facing the highblood. "You alright?"

" _ **Is he?**_ " He turned his attention to Karkat, grabbing him by the shoulders and peering in close. " _ **Is he hurt?**_ "

" _ **No.**_ " Karkat answered automatically. " _ **He's not hurt**_."

" _ **Is he okay? Is he scarred? Where is he?**_ " Gamzee demanded, his voice taking on that tone of a highblood that made Karkat shiver.

" _ **What the fuck Gamzee?**_ "

Gamzee let out hiss, his eyes glowing as he peered closer into Karkat's face, making the mutant's body flush with cool fear. " _ **Where. Is. He.**_ "

" _ **He's fine!**_ " Karkat answered in a rush. "He's outside. He's over there." He waved his hand in the general direction of Kankri's cabin. " _ **John and I found him a few months ago in the forests in Albion. He was fine then and he's fine now. Happy. He's happy. He's still hurt from whatever Cronus did to him but he's okay. Maker fucking hell, Gamzee, what the hell is wrong with you?**_ "

Gamzee relaxed slowly, his shoulders slumping and his claws loosening their hold on Karkat's shoulders. " _ **He's... okay?**_ "

" **Yes** _ **. He's fucking fine.**_ "

"Oh." And then it was as if every amount of tension left his body and made him exhausted. He pitched to the side before flopping down on the bed, closing his eyes.

"Gamz." Karkat growled, his lips pulling back over his fangs. "What the bloody hell?"

"Motherfucker's safe."

"Yeah, he is. John's probably with him right now. What the  _grubfucking hell_  does Kankri's safety have  _anything_ to do with you?" Karkat hissed, twisting to bend down toward Gamzee's face, his elbow digging into the mattress as he sat there on all fours.

Amethyst peeked open, glancing at Karkat guiltily. "My fault. I'm sorry, Karbro, it's all my fault."

"The fuck are you  _talking_ about?"

Gamzee took a deep breath, closing his eyes to think for a second. When his eyes opened again, there was a faint smile on his lips as his hand flopped about to catch on Karkat's side. "Snuggle bro."

"What... Ugh, fuck." Karkat sighed in frustration but did as the other troll wanted. He got on his side and curled up to Gamzee's front, letting those long arms wrap him up and pull him close.

"So you and bluebro up and found Kankri?"

"Yeah." Karkat took a few deep breaths. "Long story. He told me about our parents. Sort of. Just that we're half human. Explains a lot when you think about it."

"That all he told you?"

"He won't go into detail about him and Cronus."

"Castle?"

"What about it?"

Gamzee was quiet for a moment before he shrugged. "Brothers back together."

"Yeah. We are. I missed him."

"Missed you." Gamzee mumbled sleepily, nuzzling into Karkat's hair.

"Yeah, yeah I know. I missed you too, asswipe."

* * *

"We're going to kill him, you know that right?"

Gamzee paused in plucking at his claws to glance up at Karkat with confusion. "What?"

Crimson eyes rolled as Karkat pulled his hands from Gamzee's hair to stroke the pad of his thumb over one of the scars dragging across that handsome face. Amethyst closed, a soft hum coming from his throat as he tilted his head into the touch. Karkat was settled comfortably in Gamzee's lap as he worked at giving those horns another good clean.

"You remember don't you? About the pact."

Gamzee crinkled his nose. "Vaguely."

"It's still in effect. Feferi called upon us all. Everyone showed except you, for obvious reasons. Everyone thought you were locked up in the castle. We made plans to free you." He snorted softly as his hands went back to rubbing the flaking cartilage from gorgeous horns. Gamzee dipped his head forward at the action, his chest rumbling with a purr as he pressed his face into Karkat's chest. "Not that it matters now. You still in?"

"Won't be much help."

"Better than nothing, Gamz. We need all we can get. John's helping. He managed to get some of the other heroes involved as well."

Gamzee crinkled his nose. "Bluebro's in?"

"Yeah. Something about wanting to help me in whatever way he could cause he's capable of it."

" _ **Flushed.**_ " Gamzee reminded him.

Karkat just rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever, are you in or what? I'd understand if you opted out. Everyone would. Kankri's in, I think. I know he's willing to help with his knowledge of the inner workings of the castle but I doubt he's willing to dive into the battle. He certainly wants that asshole dead as much as the rest of us though."

"Sure he does." Gamzee rumbled, a hint of hatred in his tone before he pressed a soft kiss to Karkat's collarbone. "Guess I ain't got nothin' else to do."

"You don't have to, Gamz. You could come to the meetings."

He gave a full body shrug. "Wouldn't mind being part of his demise."

"Good." Karkat nodded, giving one of Gamzee's horns a good long stroke. The highblood rumbled at that, slipping his arms around Karkat's waist to hold onto him tightly as he continued to work. "You know..." Karkat bit his lower lip. "Tavros will be there."

Gamzee chirped at that, nuzzling a bit more into Karkat's chest. "Babe?"

"Mhm. He... Well he's really worried about you. Last time I saw him, he was really concerned. I think he'd be really happy to know you're alive and about as well as you could be."

"Miss... Miss him." Gamzee pressed closer, his grip tightening around Karkat's waist.

"I know." He sighed softly, dipping his hands from those horns to card through thick hair. "He misses you too. You should come with us just to see him next meeting. Seriously. I think it would be really good for you."

"Heart hurts."

"Yeah, it's called being flushed." Karkat rolled his eyes but a smile tugged at his lips. "All this time and you're still as flushed as a motherfucking grub for him, aren't you?"

"Supposed to feel like this?"

"Yes, it is. He's still flushed for you too. No doubt about that." He pondered aloud as he stroked his fingers through thick black strands.

"I want him."

"Okay, you'll come with us then. You're doing so much better. No episodes lately."

"Feels motherfucking good to have you on my horns, Karbro."

"Shut up." His face flushed abruptly as he went back to stroking those horns, polishing them with the pads of his thumbs. A very pale thing to be doing but Gamzee needed it and Karkat was willing to give it. "Don't make this more embarrassing than it already is."

"Fucking good at it."

"Shut up."

"Best."

"Gamzee."

"Fucking best."

"I will hit you."

"Don't go flippin' on me."

"Oh my fucking maker."

The deep rumble of a laugh from Gamzee's chest made a smile curl to Karkat's face and he gave one of those horns a tug, forcing Gamzee's head back so their eyes could meet. They stared at one another for a moment, a peaceful little moment before Gamzee tipped forward and knocked their lips together. Karkat melted slightly at the touch before he pushed Gamzee's face away, a smile on his lips that just made Gamzee grin more.

* * *

The door closed behind him with a faint click and crimson eyes narrowed at the bright sun beaming down on him. The fresh air was warm, stuck with a bit of moisture to it but it was not that unpleasant. In fact, the fresh air felt really nice against his skin as he made his way through his fields of flowers that were taken well care of, thanks to John no doubt. He smiled softly at the thought and picked up his pace, hurrying to Kankri's cabin without wanting to waste time. The curtains were pulled back, the windows wide open and he silently hoped his brother was home. He knocked on the door hurriedly, glancing back at his cabin with a small sense of wariness.

"Karkat." Kankri gasped softly as soon as he tugged the door open enough to see who was outside. He pushed the door the rest of the way and his eyebrows perked at the troll on his step.

"Hey, Kan, sorry. It's been a while. Um, can you do me a favor?" Karkat rushed, flashing his brother a smile as he started to motion his hands about, pointing back at his cabin. "Can you keep an eye on Gamzee? He's resting right now but I..." He trailed off when Kankri moved out of the doorway to reveal the two humans sitting on his bed, their eyes wide and smiles bright.

"Papa!" Jesse launched off of John's lap and skittered across the floor, not even pausing to gauge if his father would catch him before jumping at him. Karkat stumbled, his eyes wide and his heart pounding as he caught Jesse in his arms, hugging the boy tightly to his chest like it was the only thing he ever wanted to do. "Papa!"

Karkat let out a purr of happiness, his arms wrapping up the boy so tightly as he nuzzled into his hair. "Jesse."

"I've missed you Papa!" The boy wiggled in his arms, his hands going to pap against Karkat's cheeks the best he could considering the troll was buried in his neck.

"I've missed you."

"We've all missed you." John spoke up, hovering in the doorway with Kankri at his side, his bright eyes watching Karkat with a sense of longing that made the troll's mouth dry.

Slowly, carefully, Karkat put Jesse down on his feet. The boy glanced between his parents before shuffling over to Kankri's side with a grin on his face. John didn't waste his time once Jesse was off to the side and he had a clear path to his troll. The wind swirled around them and Karkat let out a yelp of alarm when he was suddenly in strong arms and in the air. They twirled, Karkat's head spinning but his heart leaping as John held him tightly, burying his head into his neck.

"John." He chocked out, his voice thick with emotion as his claws clung to John's back.

"Ah,  _Karkat._ " John hummed softly, nuzzling a bit more into that grey neck before he pulled back so their eyes could meet. He was as bright as the sun as he smiled at the troll and held onto him tightly. "You look good."

Karkat crinkled his nose, fighting the rush of emotion that came over him. "Yeah, I, shit, John. I was just about to go find you."

The hero laughed softly. "Well, here I am!" He leaned closer, brushing their noses together. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I... Fuck John." He pressed forward, grabbing John's face between his hands and smacked a kiss to those lips without a second thought.

John didn't even stumble. He pressed back with force, keeping his hold tight on Karkat as they slowly lowered to the ground. It was a kiss of just lips but it was more than either of them could take at the time. When Karkat pulled away, they were panting softly for breath and Jesse was watching them with bright eyes, bouncing lightly on his feet with Kankri's hand atop his head.

"Papa's okay!" Jesse exclaimed, unable to hold back any longer before he ran forward again and wrapped his arms around Karkat's legs.

"Yes. Papa's fine." John agreed, that smile on his enough to make Karkat's heart squeeze painfully tight. Oh, how he fucking missed his family.

Karkat dipped down and gathered Jesse in his arms, propping the boy up in his hip and nuzzled their noses together. "There's someone I want you to meet. All of you." He glanced around to John and Kankri who glanced at one another. "But, have you been here this whole time?"

"Well, we wanted to stay close, you know? Just in case... something happened." John explained, rubbing the back of his neck shyly with a flush on his cheeks. "It's been almost three weeks, Karkat."

His eyebrows shot up. "Has it?"

"You lost track of time?" Kankri asked gently, stepping forward to complete the little circle they made. "How is he doing? How are both of you doing?" He seemed genuinely concerned and that sparked something inside Karkat.

"He's better. A lot better. I think he's well enough to be a part of society again. I thought a good place to start would be introducing all of you to him."

Kankri tensed for a moment. "Is that wise?"

"He's fine."

"But Jesse..." John bit into his lower lip.

"Look, I know he's a crazy ass highblood but I've  _got_ him okay? He's changed a lot."

"I am willing to trust your judgment." Kankri spoke with a tender smile, reaching out to grasp Karkat's bicep in his hand.

"Thank you." He wanted to hug hi brother but he had arms full of a happy little boy so that would have to wait. He turned to John with expectant crimson, perking a brow at him.

"Well... Yeah, I mean, you know him better than we do. If you say it's cool then it's cool."

"Good." Karkat nodded once before spinning around and heading off back to his cabin with Jesse in his arms.

"We're meeting papa's friend?" Jesse asked, his face curious as he looked at Karkat.

"Yes. His name is Gamzee and he's a troll like me and Uncle Kankri." Karkat's face softened at the smiling boy in his arms who he really never wanted to let go of again. "He's kinda big but there's nothing to be afraid of. He's just been through some tough times. Humans weren't all that kind to him."

"Like me?" Jesse asked with wide eyes.

"Yes, like you."

"Does he, um, remember me?" John asked, stepping up beside them with an unsure smile on his face.

"Yes, he does."

"Good or bad?"

"Good, I believe. Wait here." He told John and Kankri once they reached the door to his cabin. He shifted Jesse on his hip before he turned the knob an pushed open the door. Gamzee sat on the edge of his bed with a blissful expression on his face that turned to him when he entered the room. For a moment, Gamzee just stared at him before getting to his feet, going and going until the tips of his horns knocked against the ceiling. He had to tilt his head to accommodate the small space but there was a tender smile on his lips.

"Whose this cute little fucker?"

Karkat took a deep breath and gave Jesse a reassuring smile when the boy clung to him a little tighter. "Gamzee, This is Jesse. He's mine."

Amethyst glanced between the two before he nodded and shuffled forward, dipping his down more to Jesse's level. "Sup lil bro. You all kinds of cute."

"Hello." Jesse greeted softly, his eyes wide as he took in every aspect of the large troll. "You're giant."

Gamzee snorted softly, a crocked grin on his face as he reached a claw forward to poke gently at Jesse's cheek. "You're a tiny fucker."

"I'm not that tiny! Dad said I grew an inch!"

"I thought you felt heavier." Karkat mused.

"Never crossed me as a lusus, Karbro." Gamzee reached forward, slipping his claws through Karkat's hair to cup the side of his head. "All kinds of precious."

Karkat snorted and knocked Gamzee's hand away from his head. "Be nice."

Gamzee held his hands up in defense as he shuffled and made himself seem as small as possible by folding his shoulders in on himself. The clothes he wore, Karkat's clothes, were way too small, revealing a good portion of his midriff and the pants looked like shorts on him. But it was better than him being naked.

"John's here." Karkat said softly, adjusting Jesse on his hip. "Be good?"

"As motherfucking gold."

"John." Karkat called softly, turning away fro the door so the hero could enter.

John seemed nervous as he stepped through the door and when his eyes landed on the tall lanky troll he faltered only slightly before offering Gamzee as smile.

"Hey! Um, hi." John wasn't sure what to do so he just smiled up at the troll who was looking him over with interest. "I'm John! It's nice to officially meet you, Gamzee."

"My blue brother motherfucker." Gamzee's voice was soft, to appear less intimidating and when he reached forward, John didn't even move. He let those long lanky arms wrap him up in a tight up until his back was arched and he was on his toes.

"Gamzee."

"No, It's alright." John assured Karkat, smiling and laughing softly as he patted Gamzee's back before he was lifted into the air. "Ack!"

"Blue fucker." Gamzee was grinning when he pulled back to meet John's eyes. "Got my Karbro all up in a flushed tizzle, precious motherfuckers."

"His name is John." Karkat reminded him, his face flushed at the way John looked at him.

"John." Gamzee repeated, his grin growing to reveal his uneven fangs. "Karbro's John. Good to up and finally meet you."

"Yeah." John's laugh was an exhale of breath as Gamzee put him back down on his feet. "You too! You look a lot better."

"Karbro's all fucking good at that papping, shooshing, rubbing pale shit."

"Yeah." John giggled softly, his cheeks flushing as they both glanced at the mutant troll. "Yeah he is."

"Fuck both of you." Karkat turned his nose up at both of them, thoroughly making Jesse giggle like a little fool.

"Gamzee..." Kankri's gasp brought their attention to the door where the troll stood, his eyes wide and his lips parted in what could only be described as surprise.

Gamzee stood up straight all of a sudden, his horns knocking against the ceiling. His body was tense so John moved out of the way, stepping up beside Karkat who quickly passed Jesse to the hero just in case he had to reel Gamzee back in. Amethyst and Garnet stared into each other for what felt like an eternity. Kankri's hands shook at his sides and his lips pressed together, moving as if he wanted to say something but couldn't find the words.

"Kankri." And then the troll was gone. Too quick for anyone to register. Next thing they knew, both Gamzee and Kankri were outside and Kankri was gasping as the taller troll wrapped him up in a tight hug, lifting him in the air like he had done with John. " _ **Sorry, So sorry.**_ " Gamzee mumbled softly, holding tightly onto Kankri who was trying to wrap his arms around Gamzee.

" _ **No, please. Please Gamzee do not apologize to me.**_ " Kankri mumbled softly, his eyes wide with the strength of which he was being held.

"Gamzee!" Karkat snapped as he, John and Jesse joined them outside. "You're going to break him!"

Gamzee loosened his hold on Kankri just enough so the troll could breathe again and slip his arms around the highblood's shoulders. " _ **So sorry.**_ " He mumbled, nuzzling against Kankri's hair lovingly, his eyes closed and his lips curled in a frown.

"Shh, please, Gamzee." Kankri gasped, a surge of pain flowing through his body at memories he never wished to remember. He stroked his hands through that mane of black hair before slipping down Gamzee's back and patted him. " _ **You did nothing wrong.**_ "

" _ **Couldn't help. Tried, I tried so hard.**_ "

" _ **Shh, Shh, I know you did.**_ " Kankri's face contorted in pain and he buried his head in that mane of hair. " _ **You were so brave. Absolutely brave. I'm alright, Gamzee. I promise you. I am fine. He didn't hurt me more. Kurloz... Kurloz helped me. He helped me get free.**_ "

Suddenly, Gamzee shifted, putting Kankri back on his feet and then dropped to his knees, pressing his face into Kankri's stomach. His hands rubbed over the mutant troll's thick thighs, then over his hips and slipped up his thin shirt. Kankri flinched but let the highblood do as he wished. Karkat stepped forward but Kankri stopped him with a hand held out. Gamzee just pressed his face into the troll's stomach and once his fingers found the scar he was looking for, he growled out in a shutter.

" _ **I'm alright. See? I'm alright. It wasn't that bad. We're alright. Everyone's alright.**_ "

"Fuckers."

"Yes, I know. Gamzee, please, get up.  _Please_." Kankri begged gently, his fingers pushing through that hair to try and find Gamzee's face. "It feels awfully strange to have a highblood bowing before me."

Gamzee pulled back, tilting his head to meet Kankri's eyes. "Alright?"

"Yes.  _I am alright_." He assured him with a tender smile, patting his cheek gently and urging him back to his feet. "Thank you for caring. Thank you so much for caring. I do believe I am the one to owe you an apology. It was-"

"Shh." Lanky arms were around him once again, pressing him close. "Precious, precious. Safe, that's all that matters."

"Yes, We are safe."

Gamzee held onto him a moment longer before pulling away and glanced at Karkat who was watching them with wide, concerned crimson. Gamzee offered him a faint smile before lumbering back into the cabin to collapse on the bed.

"Okay. That was motherfucking weird." Karkat grumbled, moving to his brother who was shaking slightly. "You okay? What the hell was that?" He asked, his hands on Kankri's shoulders as he searched to make sure Gamzee had not hurt him in some way.

"I am alright. He just, It's a long story. My apologies. He seems fine now, however. I'm glad. You do miraculous work, Karkat." Kankri smiled softly and that seemed to make Karkat's glare deepen.

"Fucking hell." He growled, a deep sound in the back of his throat as he grabbed the back of Kankri's head and pulled his brother close for a hug, one arm around his waist and the other around his shoulders. "I think it's about time you tell me exactly what the fuck is going on."

"Yes." Kankri agreed, giving him the small moment to nuzzle into his brother's neck before pulling back in fear of going too far. "I'm not entirely fond of bringing those memories up but you deserve to know."

Karkat nodded and pulled away from his brother to glance at John who was only a few feet away, shifting awkwardly. He opened his mouth to ask John to take Jesse for a little bit so they could talk but it dawned on him then that Jesse wasn't in John's arms, nor was he on the ground anywhere near him.

"John."

"Yeah?"

"Where's Jesse?"

Kankri pulled away from Karkat's slack arms quickly, glancing around for the human boy who was just gone. John's face went pale and he shot up in the air, glancing around while Karkat sniffed the air and followed his scent back into his cabin. What he found there nearly made his heart explode from his chest.

Gamzee was curled up in the bed, like a cat, knees close to his stomach and his head tucked under his arm. Jesse laid beside him, a bright smile on his face as he curled up with the troll, using the rest of Gamzee's arm as a pillow as he relayed some story about a princess to the highblood who listened intently.

"Shit." John's voice was soft in his ear, his arms slipping around Karkat's waist to hug the troll from behind in relief.

"Oh, my." Kankri took a few deep breaths.

Gamzee glanced at them, his smile curling just a bit more as he waved a hand at them. Jesse noticed them then and flashed them a smile before turning back to the highblood to continue his story.

"He's safe with Gamzee." Karkat assured them, patting his hand over John's arms around his waist. "We can talk outside."

"Should I leave you two alone?" John asked, his hands lingering around Karkat's waist as if he didn't want to let go.

"You may join us." Kankri offered, a warm smile on his lips before he turned to leave the cabin.

"Right. Okay." John nodded, smiling as he pulled away from Karkat to follow the other troll.

Karkat lingered for a moment, glancing over his son with his once moirail before turning away, letting the door shut only a bit as he joined the others outside. They stayed close to the cabin and when Karkat plopped down on the ground, John sat beside him, their knees pressing together in a way that made the troll's chest warm.

Kankri sat on the ground across from them, his legs tucked beneath him and his hands in his lap. He glanced around at the sky, his lips pursing as he tried to think of where to begin. There was plenty he could leave out because he didn't want to dive too deep into his memories. He thought telling Karkat the basics would be enough but even those are a bit much for him.

"You recall how I took a job at the castle to study? It was a way to improve my knowledge considering I had access to every ancient tomb in Alternia?" Kankri asked softly, turning his attention to Karkat who nodded. "That was a lie."

Karkat just blinked. "What?"

"It was a premise, if you will. A lie I had to tell because I would rather you never have known the truth." Kankri sighed softly, his head dropping so his eyes could focus on his hands in his lap.

"Okay. So what is the truth?"

"Kurl..." Kankri coughed, catching himself and his cheeks flushed a dark red. "The Grand Highblood knew what we were. I still, to this day, do not know  _how_  he knew we were... mutants, but he knew. And as we both know, he despises us. We are filthy mixbloods that drive him insane. The job offer was a lie. I had no choice in the manner. Either I came to work for him or he killed us both."

Karkat grit his teeth, his claws tightening with this new knowledge. "Not really like that monster to make deals."

"You are correct. It is not. I was sure he would not keep his end of the deal. But, it seemed, as long as I kept mine, he kept his."

"And what exactly was your part of the fucking deal?"

"I..." Kankri closed his eyes, his shoulders shaking just a bit as his hands clenched into fists. "I would rather not say."

Crimson took in Kankri's shaking shoulders, the flush on his cheeks and the way his lips curled into a deep grimace. He didn't need to be told. He knew. It was easy to figure out honestly and it made him sick to his stomach. "We're not good enough to live in his land but it's okay to be his fucking whore?"

Kankri flinched at the word and Karkat immediately regretted even speaking it. He grit his teeth and with a gentle prod from John, he crawled across the space between them, reaching forward to gather Kankri's clenched hands in his own. "I'm sorry. Shit, I'm sorry Kankri. I didn't mean to, Fuck."

"It's alright."

"It's really not." Karkat sighed softly, angry at himself and at the world as he wrapped an arm around his brother's shoulder's and let him tip forward into the hug. "That's fucking bullshit why didn't you ever tell me."

"Part of the deal." Kankri mumbled softly. "No one knew the truth. Except Kurloz."

"Okay, Okay." Karkat planted a faint kiss to his brother's hair before he pulled back, settling back on his ass, his legs against Kankri's knees. "I don't need the details about that. You don't need to... Yeah fuck bringing that back up." He drug a hand through his hair. "Keep going, if you want."

"Thank you." Kankri nodded at him, his smile affectionate as Karkat kept a hold of his hands. "It was not as bad as it sounds, honestly. Kurloz took care of me and I did learn a lot in my time there. It was hard being away from home, away from you and away from Cronus, but it was better that way. As long as you were safe. And I knew you were safe. Kurloz assured me of that every day. Everything was fine until... Well, Until the day your blood was discovered."

Karkat tensed, his hands curling around Kankri's a bit tighter. "Oh?"

"It was a normal day for me. Until Gamzee came bursting in like someone lit him on fire. He... Well, to put it bluntly, he caught Kurl and I together." Kankri sighed, raising his eyes to the sky as he recalled the vivid memory. "It was the first time I'd seen a full highblood rage. Gamzee attacked with everything he had and in a way, he was trying to protect me a suppose. He didn't stand much of a chance against Kurl. The scars on his face... Kurl gave those to him. And in the process, gave me this."

Kankri was in a slight daze as he tugged his hands from Karkat's grasp so he could raise the edge of his light shirt and reveal the deep scar that ran from his lower back, around his side and just under his armpit. Three claws, just like Gamzee's scar, but large and deeper. Life threatening by the look of it but Kankri was just fine. He dropped the shirt once both Karkat and John, who had crawled up beside Karkat, got a good look at it.

"The rest is a blur. Kurl ordered Gamzee locked away and I know Kurloz took care of me. Fixed me up and eventually explained to me that Gamzee had discovered your blood." He sighed, closing his eyes. "And that you ran away. You were safe, that was all that mattered but things were different. Kurl had never hurt me before. Not... like that. Kurloz helped me escape and after meeting up with Cronus, we fled.

"I suppose Gamzee holds a bit of remorse for what he did, though I feel he did nothing wrong. Perhaps he felt horrible for hurting you and was in some way, trying to make it up by attempting to protect me. Either way, he ended up very hurt. I have no idea how he ended up in that strange place that you two found him but I feel it is safe to assume Kurl sold his son to some well-known troll slave traders in hopes of doing something with him. Kurl is... He's a horrible man, yes, but he does have a sliver of compassion and I suppose he was incapable of having his son killed. Though, I feel what Gamzee has been through was much worse than death."

"Fucking hell." Karkat growled, his face contorted in sympathy as he leaned forward and wrapped his brother up in his arms. "You've been through hell, I had no idea. Shit, Kankri."

"I  _am_ alright, Karkat. I've had twenty sweeps to reflect on my life and I've come to terms with the things that happened to me; with the choices I made." Still, he leaned into the comfort his brother was willing to offer and nuzzled gently into Karkat's neck, breathing in his scent and managing to feel just a bit better.

"I  _knew_  something was off with you. I knew you wouldn't just change like that. I knew something happened to you but  _fuck_  Kankri, I thought it was all Cronus' fault."

"I must admit, Cronus did not help in my healing by just leaving me. But it was inevitable and we both knew that, but it still set me back by quite a lot."

"I'll rip his fins off when I see him." Karkat growled softly.

"No, No you won't." Kankri shushed him, patting over his back gently. "I am fine. Better now than I have been in a long time." He shoved against Karkat's chest gently until they pulled apart and their eyes could meet. There was a genuine smile on Kankri's lips as he searched his brother's eyes. "I have you back in my life. Plus, I have John." He glanced at the human who perked up at being mentioned and when Kankri reached for him, John curled their fingers together with a smile. "And I have Jesse, Casey and Annabelle. I have a family. More so than I ever did before and I am truly happy for that."

"Well... I guess I can't complain then. But," Karkat knocked his nose against Kankri's cheek, "If you ever need to talk about it. Any of it, or hell not talk maybe just, you know, let me know okay? I'm here."

It was the most obvious attempt at pale flirting Kankri has ever seen and it made his cheeks flush red. So it was true. John was right. He smiled shyly, nodding as he brushed his nose over Karkat's cheek in return. "Thank you, Karkat, I truly appreciate it." He glanced between John and Karkat with a soft smile before he brought the hands he was holding together, pushing John and Karkat's hands together. "Now, I believe the two of you should spend some time together."

"But-"

"Kankri-"

"I have Gamzee and Jesse. As we've seen, Gamzee is perfectly fine and in fact enjoys the little human's attention. Chances are he will want to double check me and-"

The sudden growl that leaked to them from the cracked open cabin door had Karkat on his feet instantly. But then there was the soft sound of papping and then Gamzee purring that made the troll falter in his step. Did his son just? Kankri's hand was warm on his shoulder, reassuring with that smile on his face.

"Jesse?" John called, lifting into the air beside the other two trolls.

"Everything's fine!" The little boy called back and the purring increased.

"See? We can handle this." Kankri chuckled softly, patting Karkat's arm. "I know you two are just dying to spend some time together so go on. We'll be fine." He slipped inside the cabin and shut the door, leaving the other two outside alone.

"That's probably my fault." John admitted softly, his cheeks flushed as he shifted closer to Karkat. "I've kind of been whining about missing you for a while."

Karkat eyed his hero for a moment, a flush coming over his cheeks before he glanced away and nudged into John's shoulder. "Miss me that much, hm?"

" _Yes._ " The word was a relieved breath as John wrapped his arms around Karkat tightly, pulling him close and nuzzling into his hair.

Karkat inhaled the familiar scent of the hero, a scent he had missed more than he would like to admit, and nuzzle into John's collarbone, planting a soft kiss there where his shirt dipped. "How about we do something productive with out time together?"

"Like what?"

"A bath. I could  _really_ use one."

John pulled back, sniffing in Karkat's hair before he made a face. "Ew, you do stink."

Karkat shoved at his chest, his cheeks flaring. "Asshole."

"Aw, I'm just kidding Karkat." He giggled softly, a slight panic in his eyes as he wrapped Karkat up in his arms again. "Okay, let's go take a bath. In the lake? The water's really cool right now. It'd be refreshing."

"Mhm." Karkat shifted, slipping his arms around John's shoulders. "Fly me there."

The hero chuckled, his cheeks flaring as he dipped down to bump their noses together. "Never thought the day would come when you  _asked_ me to fly you somewhere."

"Gloating is unattractive, John."

The hero laughed, nuzzling into his troll's hair with a soft contented sigh. It felt nice to have Karkat in his arms again and he wasn't letting him go for at least another few hours.

* * *

It wasn't like John wasn't used to spending time apart from Karkat. He'd spent plenty of time away from the troll but there was something different about it now. He had memories now and after finding the troll he had never realized he missed so much, he really didn't like spending much time apart from him. But John didn't want to be too selfish. Karkat had other people that were important to him and John knew that. But he would soak up the time he got with the troll and enjoy every single second of it.

As he stood there on the edge of the lake, his shirt tossed to the ground and his boots off to the side so his toes could dig into the sand, he couldn't help but watch Karkat. The troll waded into the water slowly, his grey skin a healthy color that reflected in the sunlight. He was bare naked but that didn't matter much to John at he moment. What mattered was the relaxed expression on that beautiful face. The way his eyes closed, his lips relaxing as he sunk into the water, just dropping down once he was deep enough to float.

He looked exhausted and all John wanted to do was rub that exhaustion away from his muscles. He wanted to press his lips to the corners of Karkat's eyes, where frown lines were forming and trail his lips down to that mouth and kiss him senseless until he smiled again. He was stressed, emotionally drained and John wanted to take it all away. He wanted to make it better. If Karkat would let him.

John shoved off his pants, tossing his underwear with them over the back of a log. They gathered everything they would need for a nice bath from John's house before they left for the lake. Karkat wasted no time in getting in the water and once his clothes were out of the way, John joined him. The water was cool and felt good against his skin as he moved closer to the troll who was just relaxing in the water.

They said nothing to one another as John came up behind him and wrapped his arms around him. Karkat leaned back into the touch, dipping his head against John's broad shoulder just so he could enjoy the feeling of being held by his... Well, neither were sure what they were but John was his and at the moment, that was all that mattered.

John took his time in cleaning Karkat, using a small wash cloth and some natural soap. The troll didn't object in the least. He allowed the hero to pamper him and by the time John had his hands buried in Karkat's damp, soap covered hair, the troll was purring softly in the back of his throat, his forehead pressed against John's collarbone. The hero smiled softly at the purring and took his time with the troll's hair, brushing his fingers through it and even taking the time to brush over his horns.

Karkat gasped when those fingers made contact with his horns and he tilted his head into John's touch, silently asking for more. The hero was stunned for a few seconds before he did what his troll obviously wanted him to do. He was gentle as he ran his fingertips over the horns, rubbing them and cleaning them with the soap from Karkat's hair. The purring increased in volume, making John's toes curl slightly as he focused on those horns.

"I missed this." Karkat mumbled, his eyes closed and his head tilting into John's hands.

John swallowed hard, forcing down the lump in his throat as he smiled softly, the flush on his cheeks a permanent thing around Karkat. "I missed  _you_." He mumbled in return, noticing the way those pointed ears, covered in suds, flushed just a bit dark.

Karkat tilted his head back, letting John's hands slid over his horns and through his hair. There was no denying how different it was to have John's hands on his horns compared to Gamzee's. He had to accept the fact that he was different. That he was broken, no matter what anyone else said, and he had to deal with that. But as his eyes slipped partly closed till there was just a shimmer of crimson left and his lips parted slightly, he didn't realize how much he needed the hero until that very moment.

John glanced between Karkat's eyes and his lips and it was probably the first John could actually recall that he was hesitating to kiss the troll. This was important. He wasn't sure how, and he wasn't sure why, but this was important. More important than any other time. So he hesitated. He swallowed hard, a smile coming to his lips as he started to cup water in his hands so he could wash the soap away from Karkat's hair.

The troll grunted at the effort and just batted John's hand away until he could dip into the water himself, scrubbing at his scalp with his claws until the slick soap was all gone. Satisfied his hair was all clean, he stood up straight again, tugging claws through it to get rid of a few tangles. John's hands were gentle on his, pulling claws from his hair so his nimble long human fingers could comb through his damp hair and work out the knots Karkat had managed to make.

It was there again. Karkat's head tilted back so they could watch one another and there was just something about those plump lips that drew him close. He'd never thought much before when he kissed Karkat. It was just a thing they did. It was natural. So why was this different? Why was he hesitating? Karkat leaned into his touch as he slipped a hand from his hair to cup his face. The troll was still purring, a soft noise in his chest that made John want to wrap him up and never let him go. Karkat was strong. He was resilient and intelligent. He was beautiful and elegant and could no doubt take down anything that ever threatened him. He was brave, so brave. He'd been hurt more than John probably even knew and yet he was still standing before him, his eyes almost closed with that sliver of crimson peeking at him. He trusted John. He trusted him enough to leave his neck open and ready for him in a way that would be considered weak anywhere else, not that John exactly knew that.

With his heart pounding in his ears, John leaned down slowly, inching closer and closer until his eyes slipped closed and their lips bumped together in the gentlest manner. His fingers cradled Karkat's face like it was jewel as their lips simply pressed together. It was a small, chaste kiss that left John's heart squeezed so tightly he was sure it was going to explode with the pressure and leave a gory mess all over the place. But he stood strong, Karkat's hands coming up to rest on his bare hips as he pressed just a bit closer.

Their lips moved tentatively, sending sparks along their skin and bringing heat to their faces in a way it never had before. There was nothing pale about this kiss. Nothing black either. Nor anything sexual and it was probably the most red kiss John had ever experience in his life. Karkat's lips were soft against his and he could feel the slight indent where the troll chewed at his bottom lip. He didn't mind in the least considering he was finding it harder and harder to breathe.

Their lips pulled apart for only a second before they pressed back together, pressing soft kisses over and over again until Karkat's purring was deeper and his claws were digging into the meat around John's hips, pressing their bodies closer. Their nakedness didn't matter at the moment. Hell, nothing mattered but their lips together and how hard it was to breathe even as they took in each others soft breaths.

John couldn't be sure how long they stood there in the water, pressing their lips together in soft kisses. He could be sure that it was the most amazing thing in the world and when Karkat finally pulled away, his cheeks flushed and his lips a bit darker and more puffy than usual, he sure as hell didn't want it to end. The look in those crimson eyes was enough to make his heart leap in his throat, cutting off his air supply. Karkat had  _never_  looked at him like that.

"Your cheeks are dark." Karkat mumbled softly, his voice a rumble in his throat through his purring as he brought his hands up to brush a thumb over each flushed cheek. John's skin was darkening from his recent adventures in the sun. His skin was always a little darker than most people, not quite as dark as Jade or Jake's but more so than the other heroes. But the winter always gave him paler skin until the weather warmed and he could spend more time in the sun. He'd spent almost every day outside since Karkat locked himself up with Gamzee so he could water the troll's flowers and keep them beautiful.

"It's called a tan, Karkat." John laughed softly, a smile curling to his lips and bunching up his cheeks around Karkat's thumbs. "Happens ever summer."

"I like it." He lifted up on his toes and brushed his lips where his thumbs once were, thoroughly managing to make John's cheeks flush even darker in color. The troll seemed proud of that.

John tilted his head just a bit and pressed their foreheads together, damp hair mingling together as he stared into bright eyes. "We're okay. You know that right?"

Karkat blinked in mild surprise before he closed his eyes and let his hands drop to John's broad shoulders. "I don't deserve you."

John made a soft noise of distress in the back of his throat as he pressed closer, slipping his arms around Karkat's waist. "Yes, you do. You really do. More than anyone, Karkat, you deserve this. Please, never forget that."

"If you call me precious I swear to fuck you and Gamzee have been conspiring behind my back." The troll grumbled though there was a soft smile tugging at his lips.

"Well... I mean, You're a lot of things, Karkat. You're strong and brave. You're intelligent and cunning. You're sweet but you don't hesitate to point out when someone's just being an idiot. You're... A great father. And a great friend. You care so deeply about people and you try to hide it because I think you think it's a weakness but it's not, Karkat. It's not a weakness at all. Caring about people is the most important thing you can do and I..." John bit into his lower lip, cutting himself off when those glowing crimson eyes opened to stare at him. "You are... My most precious person, Karkat."

Karkat took a deep inhale through his nose, closing his eyes for just a second before they opened again. The intensity within them made John gasp and his arms tightened around the troll's waist. "I shouldn't need another person this much."

The words struck John to the core and he took a moment to realize breathing was a thing he needed to be doing. It  _sounded_ like a confession. The words weren't really there but the feelings were and John couldn't help the smile that curled to his lips. He leaned forward, brushing his nose over Karkat's cheek before pressing his face into the troll's neck, tightening his arms around him.

"I need you too, you know."

Karkat sighed softly, dragging his hands up John's arms until he could dig one of them into damp dark locks. "I... I'm getting there."

"I know. I'll never rush you, Karkat. We're okay. We'll always be okay, I promise you that."

John didn't realize just how much Karkat needed to hear those words and when the troll dipped forward, leaning his full weight on John, the hero took it, smiling softly as they held one another, taking their time because for the moment, they had all the time in the world, so it felt, before they had to be dragged back to responsibility.

* * *

The air was warm but there was a cool breeze that blew through the trees, making the outside bearable as Jesse tossed his wooden sword in the air so John could catch it. Karkat watched them with a smile, his legs tucked to the side of him as he leaned on one hand, sitting on a blanket. Kankri sat beside, his legs tucked under him and his hand resting over Karkat's. It was a constant thing now that the troll didn't mind in least. Gamzee was off to the side, spread out on his back with his eyes closed as he enjoyed the sun beaming down on him.

They were doing well. Gamzee was perfectly fine, as fine as a highblood like him could be anyway and Jesse was happy to have his family back together in one piece. They were enjoying their time together outside in the spring air that was much more bearable than the humid air in Oakfield.

John swooped down, twirling slightly and catching Jesse as the boy leapt in the air, laughing the whole time as he was pulled to his father's chest. He wiggled about in the safety of John's arms as they flew above with Karkat's watchful eyes on them the entire time.

Gamzee shifted suddenly, his body going tense and caught the other trolls attentions. His hand flopped about until it made contact with Kankri's thigh and then he gripped it, his claws digging in only slightly. Kankri stared at the hand on his thigh before he wrapped his fingers around it, giving Gamzee whatever amount of comfort he was asking for. The highblood relaxed at the touch and his eyes fluttered open to glance at the brothers sitting on the blanket beside him.

They looked good together, like that. Karkat's expression was tender, his eyes fully focused on the two in the air though his hand was curled upwards, his claws brushing over the skin of Kankri's wrist as they held hands loosely. Kankri's expression was less relaxed, something always making him pinch just slightly, but there was a faint smile curled to his lips and it was enough to let everyone know he was okay. They were happy. It was something Gamzee never thought he'd get to see.

"Shit!"

"John!" Karkat sat up abruptly as Jesse wiggled out of John's arms and plummeted for the ground. The wind caught him effortlessly and the blonde boy was still only a minute before he started crying for his father. John shushed him, relief on his face as he gathered up the boy in his arms and brought them back to the ground. "Fucking hell."

"John has him." Kankri assured him, giving Karkat's hand a squeeze. "The wind will never let him fall. He was just scared a bit."

"You drop him again and I'm taking that human bulge of yours and shoving it up your ass!" Karkat hissed, glaring at the hero who waved him off, his attention focused on the quieting boy in his arms.

"Jeeze, can their bulges do that?" The familiar voice made Karkat jump to his feet and Gamzee didn't even bother to move. Just tilted his head to the side, taking in the two trolls who he had heard coming, standing just behind Kankri and Karkat.

"Wwhat a greeting, Sol. Really. Brilliant." Eridan hissed softly, rolling his eyes before they landed on Karkat.

"What?" The yellow blood shrugged, a grin on his face that showed his dual fangs off as he looked at Eridan. "Be pretty cool, ya know."

"Hello to you too." Karkat grunted, rolling his eyes as he crossed his arms over his chest, blocking Kankri from the other two trolls.

"Pardon the rudeness, Kar." A smile came to Eridan's lips and he opened his arms to the mutant troll, stepping forward without hesitation. "It's lovvely to see you again."

"Yeah yeah." Karkat didn't hesitate to step into those arms, wrapping his own around Eridan for a friendly hug.

It was then, however, that violet eyes landed on the other mutant troll sitting on his knees behind Karkat with wide eyes. Violet and garnet stared at one another for a good minute before Karkat pushed Eridan off him so he could move to knock knuckles with Sollux.

"Sup, KK. Shit's changed huh?" Sollux's eyes focused on Gamzee who was still just laying there. "Fucks going on?"

"Wwhere..." Eridan swallowed hard before he dropped to his knees in front of Kankri and grabbed his shoulders, claws digging in slightly as he peered into Kankri's face. "Is he wwith you?"

Kankri's eyes widened, his breath pausing in his throat as he shook his head. "No. I, My apologies, he... He left me sweeps ago."

Eridan's face contorted, his lips curling into a scowl as he peered into Kankri's eyes. "Explain."

Kankri tensed and Karkat decided to step in. "Hey, Eridan, Back off." He nudged the highblood with the edge of his boot, his eyes narrowed in a glare.

"I'm not hurting him, Kar." But Eridan removed his hands from Kankri's shoulders anyway, to seem less threatening. "I wwould just like to knoww wwhere my brother is."

"Can't even greet him like a fucking troll being?"

Eridan tensed, a violet flush coming to his cheeks as his shoulders slumped and he turned back to Kankri. "Right. I'm sorry. Hello, Kankri."

"Hello, Eridan."

"Shit, KK." Sollux dropped to his knees on the other side of Kankri, his eyes slightly wide behind his multicolored frames as he reached a hand out to Kankri. "Where the hell you been?"

Kankri swallowed hard and glanced down at Sollux's outreached hand. He took it in his own gently, noticing the way Sollux's eyebrows perked. "Hello to you as well."

"'Tuna's been looking for you." Sollux muttered as Eridan sat up straight.

"Has he?" Kankri seemed surprised by his words and when he released Sollux's hand, he dropped his own back in his lap. "That surprises me."

"Think you didn't have friends or somethin'?" Sollux hissed faintly, leaning back to cross his arms over his chest.

"I was under the impression he hated me for what was done to Kurloz."

John slipped up beside Karkat, Jesse in his arms with blue eyes on the new trolls. "Hey."

"Hey." Karkat sighed softly, leaning into the hero who offered whatever support his troll needed.

"That's all past shit." Sollux huffed, his shoulders heaving. "You coming back to Alternia or what? How long has he been here?" The last question was directed at Karkat.

"If you assholes would chill for a second I'd be thrilled to explain all this bullshit."

"Kar." Eridan cut in, his head twisting to take in the human child in John's arms. "Please tell me that's not what it looks like."

Karkat let out a growl that startled Jesse as he kicked his boot against Eridan's back. "Shut up and listen for once, fuck."

"Yeah, ED, you're being rude." Sollux teased, crinkling his nose at the highblood who hissed at him.

"Oh my maker, don't you two start." Karkat groaned. "Sit down and shut up. Daddy has a story to tell you."

"Ew, KK, I don't wanna know what John calls you when you're alone."

That made John's face thoroughly turn a strange color of red while Jesse glanced between the trolls. "No, He's Daddy." Jesse mumbled, patting John's chest before reaching a hand out to pat Karkat. "He's papa."

"I'm all up for a motherfucking story right now." Gamzee rumbled, rolling around onto his stomach so he could crawl closer to the group. Eridan and Sollux tensed before the highblood plopped down beside Kankri's legs.

"Story time!" Jesse wiggled out of John's arms till his feet were on the ground and then he eased around Sollux, a shy smile on his lips before he stumbled onto Gamzee's back. The highblood grunted but let the kid crawl all over him until Jesse settled on his back, his hands on those horns to steady himself. There was a grin on his face, happy to hear whatever story his papa was ready to tell.

Karkat plopped himself down on Kankri's other side and John took the spot between Eridan and Karkat, completing their little circle for the time being. "Long story short, we found Kankri in the forests of Mourningwood." Karkat started, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Cronus and I lived there." Kankri continued, unable to look Eridan in the eyes. Those eyes were too intense and much too familiar and it made his chest squeeze painfully. "For a while. We were happy. We lived alone without the worry of humans or drones. We could be together and deal with the things of our past one step at a time but..."

Gamzee knocked the side of his head against Kankri's thigh gently without even opening his eyes and Jesse gave his uncle a smile, grabbing his hand so he could dig it into Gamzee's mane of hair. Kankri smiled softly at the boy and let his fingers slip through thick hair as he focused on his story once again.

"We were foolish to think a troll could have a full quadrant relationship. Trolls do not work that way. It was a mutual agreement in a way." Kankri bit into his lower lip, his claws snagging on Gamzee's hair as he clenched a fist. "Actually, no. That would be a lie. It was in no way a mutual agreement. I never asked him to leave. I never wanted him to leave. He decided all of that on his own. He decided we didn't work and didn't give us the chance to figure it out. I knew it wasn't working but I was at least willing to put forth the effort and figure it out. He... He left me. Alone. In the middle of human territory seven sweeps ago and I haven't heard from him since." Garnet finally glanced up, meeting Eridan's eyes with a flash of hatred that made the seadweller flinch. "If your brother never came home, I do not see how that would be my responsibility.

"Fins." Karkat reminded aloud, his nose crinkled and his lips pulled over his fangs. "Ripped."

Eridan sat up straight, his eyes sightly wide as he glanced between the brothers. "You can not be serious."

"You wanna fuck with me, Ampora?" Karkat hissed softly, his claws digging into his thighs as his eyes narrowed more.

"That's not wwhat- I  _meant_ , it seems so odd that Cronus wwould just leavve." Eridan stressed, trying to keep his face as calm as he could muster. "He nevver came home, Kankri. So wwhere the bloody hell is he?"

"I'm afraid I do not know." Kankri lowered his eyes to his hand in Gamzee's hair, his chest squeezing all the more.

"Right, so, one mystery not solved." Sollux cut in. "Least one of you is alive and well. 'Tuna will be happy to know that."

"I thought he and Kurloz disappeared." Karkat pointed out.

Sollux snorted. "Like anyone really disappears from me."

"They did." Karkat motioned to Kankri and Gamzee.

"Yeah, what the fuck Gamz." Sollux pressed a claw to a hollow cheek, making amethyst peek open. "You dropped off the motherfucking planet. Where you been?"

"All up and over the motherfucking place, Solbro." Gamzee muttered, his face pressed into his folded arms.

"He was a fucking slave." Karkat growled and the looks he received from the other trolls was enough to make him grimace. "Probably for all twenty fucking sweeps we were gone. I don't know. He's got enough scars for it. Some freak side show attraction for humans to ogle. We took care of that."

Gamzee shifted, stretching his arms over his head until his knuckles made contact with Eridan's knees. "Bitches down."

Eridan perked a brow, glancing down at the hands in front of him before he shifted his eyes to Karkat. "Wwe thought he wwas locked up in the castle. Wwe made plans to help him escape."

"Well, he's fine now. I worked him pretty good." A proud little smirk came to Karkat's lips that made Eridan shrink back slightly. "He's willing to join the fight again."

"Tavbabe." Gamzee reminded him, letting his eyes slip closed as his fingers curled against Eridan's leg. The highblood always had been very affectionate with his friends.

"And you?" Eridan asked Kankri, his expression gentle as he reached a hand for the older Vantas brother. "I knoww... Shit, I knoww wwhat happened to you in that castle, Kan."

Kankri stiffened but he took Eridan's offered hand between his fingers, feeling a strange sense of comfort at the clammy coolness of his skin. He was abruptly reminded how much he missed the older Ampora as his eyes focused on that hand, covered in jeweled rings but still the same color, though smaller and with longer fingers. The color was right, with purple veins that could been seen beneath the skin.

"I intend to lend every amount of knowledge I have to the future queen." He answered honestly. "But I would rather avoid going anywhere near the castle if I am capable."

Eridan accepted that answer but made no move to return his hand. He let Kankri hold it, inspecting it with intense garnet eyes that made his mouth a little dry. There were many times that the brothers looked a lot alike and this was one of those times.

"So, Gamz and Kan." Sollux nodded, flicking his hand between the two trolls. "They're in. Awesome. So whose the kid?" He jabbed his thumb in Jesse's direction who perked up at being mentioned. "I mean, seriously, you knock someone up years ago John and now you've got Karkat taking care of him?"

John sputtered, his eyes widening and his face flushing. "What? No!"

"He's mine. Well, ours. We adopted him." Karkat flicked a hand between Jesse and the new trolls. "Jesse, Eridan and Sollux. Eridan and Sollux, Jesse."

"Kanaya said you had a human child in your care." Eridan spoke, nodding his head at Jesse in greeting. "She seemed pleased with it."

"The hell, ED, you didn't tell me." Sollux hissed, his fangs prominent as he nudged the seadweller.

"Slipped my mind."

"Sure it fucking did."

"Um." Jesse spoke up softly, his cheeks flushed as he glanced between the trolls. "You know Auntie Kanaya?"

"Sure do, Kid." Sollux grinned at him.

"Don't scare the child, Sol."

"If Gamz doesn't scare him, I fucking doubt I can."

"Gamzee is a big teddy bear!" Jesse said with a grin, patting his hands in Gamzee's hair causing the highblood to let out a rumble of approvement.

"He's not even doped up." Karkat pointed out.

"Damn." Sollux whistled.

"He's probably still reeling from some good papping sessions from Kar. They are the best, after all."

"Shit, shut up." Karkat's cheeks flushed at the knowing grin Eridan flashed him and Kankri glanced up between the two in slight alarm.

"Hold up. I thought you assholes were moirails." Sollux flicked a hand between John and Karkat and when they only glanced at each other, faces flushed, the lowblood let out a laugh.

"Oh." Eridan gasped, his eyes widening as he leaned toward John. "Did you two finally?"

"Um." John looked to Karkat for guidance.

"Ain't your fucking business what we are."

"Aw, damn. Karkat's still being a prude then." Sollux's shoulders slumped before he pitched to the side and landed on the ground beside Gamzee, his face only inches away from Jesse's foot.

"I am not a prude!"

"Guys, no, he's we're um." John was flustered as he tried to explain. "We just  _are_. Yeah, that's the best way to explain it."

"You seen his bulge yet?" Sollux perked up over Gamzee, a shit eating grin on his face.

"No."

"Yes."

They spoke at the same time and when they glanced at one another, faces flushed and mouths open, Sollux burst out laughing, falling back onto the ground.

"Sol, rude." Eridan reminded.

"The fuck do you mean no."

"What do you mean yes?!"

"Yours is always just hanging about! You have absolutely no protection whatsoever I don't understand how you humans even fucking survive."

"Karkat." Kankri stated calmly. "You are announcing to everyone, including your young son, that you have seen John naked."

"Who hasn't seen John naked?" Karkat scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"Um." Sollux raised his hand followed by Jesse who was watching the adults with wide happy eyes. Eridan than raised his hand and Kankri soon followed. It took him a moment but Gamzee lifted one hand from Eridan's leg so he could raise his hand as well.

"Oh my." John dropped his burning face in his hands.

"It's not like we've done anything. I don't fucking work that way." Karkat sighed, his face pinched in an annoyed expression as he pressed his legs closer to John's in an attempt at apologizing.

"Right, cause seeing each other naked is a totally normal thing to do." Sollux flopped his hands in the air above him before Jesse tilted down to dig a little hand in short black hair. The lowblood froze for a moment before his hands dropped to his chest and he let the little boy pet him. "I like your kid, KK."

"Oh maker. I don't need you assholes spoiling him too."

"You are the one who taught him petting was a thing we enjoyed." Kankri reminded his younger brother.

"Was there a reason you came here or what?" Karkat changed the subject quickly, avoiding the look his brother and his hero were giving him.

"Wwhat. Wwe can't vvisit?" Eridan seemed truly hurt by his words.

"Fuck. Of course you can." Karkat sighed, defeated and leaned into John's shoulder. He was too exhausted to deal with them anymore. The hero smiled softly, slipping an arm around the troll's waist to hold him a bit closer.

"Cool. But that's not why we're here." Sollux waved another hand in the air.

"Feferi has called another meeting. I take it you are all coming."

Karkat and John glanced at one another before John released his troll so he could move to his feet. "Hey, Jesse. How would you like to spend a few nights with Casey?"

"Okay!" Jesse pulled his hand from Sollux's hair, ignoring the disappointed grumble he received and hopped to his feet. "Are you and Papa going on a trip?"

"We are." He reached around Kankri and snatched the boy up. "Let's pack you some clothes and I'll take you over there."

Karkat moved to his feet as well. "We'll be back." He nodded to his friends before he followed John back to their cabin so they could pack for their departure.

* * *

The bar looked the same as it did the last time they came. Equius was behind the bar, shining a few glasses and Nepeta was sitting on a stool when they entered, Eridan and Sollux leading the way. Nepeta perked up at their arrival and dashed off the stool to greet them. She gathered Karkat up in another hug that left the troll grumbling before her attention was on Gamzee and Kankri. The bright smile on her face eased a bit of Kankri's worries and then she rushed off to inform the others that they had arrived.

They were late, it seemed, and thus the last to arrive. Equius didn't seem to mind however as he led the group toward the back and through the secret entrance way. Eridan and Sollux went first, followed by John and Karkat while Kankri and Gamzee lingered behind for a moment. Equius whispered to the older Vantas but Karkat couldn't see what they were talking about before they disappeared as he and the others entered the war room.

"Rose!" John exclaimed with true surprise when he spotted the elegant blonde woman standing to the side with Kanaya.

"Hello, John."

"What are you doing here?" He hurried to her side, his eyes wide as he gathered her up in a hug.

"I do recall telling you I would join this adventure. I just happened to be with Kanaya when the call for this meeting came. We thought it would be a wise idea for me to come along."

"It's good to see you." He smiled brightly at his fellow hero when he pulled back from the hug.

"Hello Rose, Hello Kanaya." Karkat greeted, stepping up beside John.

"You look wary, Karkat." Kanaya pointed out politely. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah. Got a lot going on."

"How is Jesse?" Rose asked.

"He's great." John spoke with a proud smile. "He's with Annabelle and Casey right now."

"Kanaya made more-" Rose was cut off by the sudden strange tenseness in the room and the hush that followed.

Gamzee lumbered into the room, a relaxed expression on his face as he ducked his head so his horns wouldn't hit the doorway. Kankri was at his side, a much smaller troll in comparison and the first person to even react was Feferi, who had been leaning against her chair, whispering to Aradia about something.

"Gamzee!" Feferi gasped, her eyes wide as she stood up straight. Her skirts flowed around her as she quickly rounded the table, brushing passed a stuttering Tavros to approach the two new trolls. "Oh, you're alive. Oh thank goodness. You're alive." She reached up without hesitation, her palms sliding over Gamzee's cheeks until she could tug his face down and their horns could knock together.

"Sup pretty queen." Gamzee flashed her a gentle smile.

"He was sold off into slavery." Karkat spoke up, gaining attention. "We found him. He's stable."

"You poor thing." Feferi's expression was pained as she released Gamzee's face and leaned back on the flat of her feet. He towered over here, just like he towered over everyone else. The only people who came close to his height were John and Equius and they were still a good foot off. "Thank you for coming. Thank you oh so much."

Gamzee shrugged one shoulder. "Motherfuckers gotta go down."

"I'm so happy you agree." She turned slowly, her eyes landing on Tavros who was just standing there, his body shaking and his eyes filled with tears. She gave him a reassuring smile before she took Kankri's hand gently and led him away from Gamzee.

Everyone looked away to give the old lovers a bit of privacy. Tavros approached Gamzee slowly, his feet moving in a sluggish manner as Gamzee dipped his head down and tried to appear a lot smaller than he was. It was such a familiar gesture that it made the tears in Tavros' eyes spring free and he launched at the highblood who caught him effortlessly. They held onto one another tightly, whispering to each other and it brought a smile to Karkat's face.

"Oh, Kankri." Feferi spoke softly, gathering both of the mutant troll's hands into her own. "You came."

"I thought, perhaps, you may still require my assistance."

"We do. We certainly do. Thank you so much for coming. Please, please sit." She pulled him gently over toward her seat and offered him the one right beside hers. He thanked her kindly and everyone took that as time to sit down and get down to business. The troll's all took their spots at the table while John and Rose stood against the wall, behind their trolls, and just watched.

"I wish to thank all of you once again." The smile on Feferi's face was genuine as she spoke, glancing from troll to troll. "I am aware meeting like this is not always convenient. But it means the universe to me to have your support." She sighed softly and sat down in her chair, crossing her legs and folding her hands in her lap. "The time as come. We are getting closer." Vriska tugged out some scrolls from the bag on the floor at her side and tossed them onto the table. "We have our plans, though they still need some work which is the purpose of this meeting. The next meeting, shall be the last." Her eyes narrowed and for the first time in quite a while, Feferi looked like a queen. "Let's begin."

* * *

When Karkat's hand curled around Kankri's wrist, the older Vantas didn't object to being politely pulled away from their soon to be queen. The hand on his wrist was burning and he felt calmer with Karkat near him. The meeting went well though Kankri had his concerns. Mainly about how out numbered they were but they didn't have much of any other choice.

"Rose." Karkat spoke softly, pulling Kankri up to John, Kanaya and the lovely blonde woman. "This is my brother, Kankri. Kankri, this is John's fellow hero Rose Lalonde."

Kankri stood up straight, knowing that by Karkat's tone of voice this woman held some importance to him. "It's pleasure to meet you, Ms. Lalonde."

Purple eyes glanced between the brothers before a smile curled to her lips and she stepped forward, offering both her hands to Kankri. "I've heard many good things about you, Kankri. Please, do call me Rose."

Kankri nodded, a polite smile on his face as he grasped Rose's hands with his own. "I've heard good things of you as well."

Kanaya stepped up beside Rose, a warm smile on her lips as she greeted Kankri. "It's nice to see you again."

"You as well."

"Porrim will be happy to know you've returned."

Kankri lowered his head slightly as he released Rose's hands. "I'm afraid I have no intention of returning. I intend to stay by Karkat's side."

"I do hope you will visit then."

"I would enjoy that very much."

"I'll let Porrim know."

"Um, excuse me, Karkat?" Tavros' voice was soft and shaking slightly but he stood as tall as he could as he caught Karkat's attention from his brother.

Karkat perked a brow at the other troll and glanced between him and the looming highblood standing just behind him. "Hey Tavros."

"Hello. Um," Tavros bit into his lower lip as he shifted from foot to foot.

Gamzee took the initiative and stepped up to Karkat, offering him a smile. "Motherfucker wants to stay."

Dark eyebrows shot up. It wasn't like he hadn't expected this. He figured that once Gamzee had Tavros in his sights he wasn't going to leave him again. "Are you... Are you asking me?"

"Yes." Tavros offered with a soft smile. "Would it be alright? I can take care of him, I promise I-"

"We're not moirails, Tavros." Karkat pointed out, glancing up at Gamzee who gave a full body shrug. "I was just taking care of him until he was better. He's better now. Take him, go ahead. He's been asking for you since he got back anyway."

Tavros' face flushed and he leaned his head into Gamzee who wrapped a long arm around him. "Ah, Thank you so much."

"Be happy." Karkat informed them, a serious expression on his face. "He needs it."

"I will do my best."

"Fucking miss you, Karbro." Gamzee lumbered forward and slipped his long lanky limbs around Karkat's body, pulling him up in a hug.

"You'll see me again." Karkat assured him, patting over his back.

Gamzee nodded and once he released Karkat, he swooped up behind Kankri, who was speaking quietly with Rose and Kanaya, and wrapped his arms around the shorter troll, starling him slightly. Kankri let his hands rest over Gamzee's arms and patted them in a way of trying to return the hug from behind.

"Miss you too." He mumbled into shaggy dark hair, nuzzling into it.

Kankri glanced from Karkat to Tavros before he realized what was going on. "You as well, Gamzee. Take care of yourself and take good care of him."

Gamzee nodded as he released the older Vantas and turned to John who was standing only a step behind Karkat. "Bluebro." Gamzee opened his arms and John slipped around Karkat so he could give Gamzee a hug.

"Be happy, Gamzee." John offered with a smile, hugging the tall troll.

"Be good to my Karbro."

"I will. I promise."

"Yeah, don't need to motherfucking say it. Know you will." Gamzee pulled back with a grin. "Make my palebro all flushed and whatnot."

"Gamzee." Karkat hissed softly.

Gamzee held his hands up defense as he slipped behind Tavros, who was glancing around like he wasn't exactly sure what was going on. John just laughed softly, slipping an arm around Karkat's waist to pull him close to his side. It was nice to know Gamzee trusted him with the troll's heart. That really meant a lot and John intended to keep his promise. Even if Gamzee didn't plan to hold him to it.

* * *

Jesse's soft breathing was enough to lure Karkat into sleep even if he wasn't ready for it. The human child was warm against his front, curling up with a fist stuck to his mouth, sucking on his thumb as he slept. Karkat watched his sleeping face with fondness, brushing a few strands of blond hair out of his face as the boy snuggled just a bit closer.

John returned from going to the bathroom only a few moments later, opening the cabin door to let in a few streams of sunlight before they were left in darkness again. The hero shuffled around for a few minutes before the bed dipped and he curled up around Karkat's back, an arm over his waist and his head settled in the crock of the troll's neck.

"He's asleep?" John whispered softly.

"He's worn out."

"He's not the only one." The hero nuzzled more into Karkat's neck, planting a soft kiss at the skin he found there. "I've missed this."

"Fuck, so have I. I missed both of you. Gamzee means a lot to me but I'm glad things are back to normal for now." He reached down to curled his fingers through the hand resting near his stomach.

"So am I."

"I'm sorry your birthday was ruined."

John paused, his eyes staring into darkness before they closed and he squeezed the troll in his arm. "It wasn't ruined. Best birthday ever, actually. But now you owe my lots of cuddles."

"Good thing I'm capable of that." A smile tugged at his lips.

"I'm so happy to have you back, Karkat." John mumbled into his neck.

"You know I'm obligated to tell you, you don't have to help us, again."

"And I have to reply, I know. But I want to. I'm staying by your side no matter what."

"Okay." Karkat sighed happily, snuggling a bit more into John while he relaxed between the two people who meant the world to him. John had told him he was the hero's most precious person. Well, Karkat had to admit, John was perhaps his most precious person as well. And though he wasn't all that sure what was going on in his heart, he was sure John was there. And for the time being, that was all that mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -sniffles- Precious babies they are. They really are. Between Karkat and John and Karkat and Gamzee and Karkat and Kankri and just everyone, i love them so much. Jesse is the sweetest. Karkat may want to stop teaching the boy all the ways into a troll's heart before his son grows up and becomes the center of affection for a lot of trolls. Won over Gamzee and Sollux pretty quickly haha. They next chapter is pure fluff. Seriously. So much fluff it'll make your teeth rot. Family time(Casey and Annabelle included) and Vantas brothers time and John and Karkat time. So much fluff. The calm before the storm, if you will. Funny, cause that's what the chapter is called. "The Calm Before". 
> 
> Also, it's now been a year(in story) since John met Karkat again. A lot has happened for them, don't you think? Yes, it will be brought up don't worry. John has plans in the next chapter. Thus, FLUFF. So much fluff. 
> 
> (did you notice how different that kiss in the lake was? hehehehehe)
> 
> Thanks so much for reading! Please leave a comment telling me what you thought and all that good stuff, and a kudo if you haven't already. Remember you can only kudo a chapter fic once so comments are really appreciated! 
> 
> ~Addy~


	21. The Calm Before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe I finished this. I'm so sorry it took so long. I was having some serious issues writing for a while, so I went off on a vacation and when I came back I still wasn't 100%. But I've felt better lately and I managed to get this baby out in three days! I'm pretty happy with it!
> 
> Mood Music [here](https://youtu.be/3fUvYUpICW4)(for John and Karkat) [here](https://youtu.be/YQLYS-GmUfg) (For Kankri, it speaks to me on a very emotional level for him in WITS) and [here](https://youtu.be/qI_TvHh0xSc) (for more JohnKat feels)
> 
> As always, italicized and bolded means Alternian!
> 
> Enjoy!

_I think the universe is on my side._

_Heaven and Earth have finally aligned._

_Days are good._

_And that's the way it should be._

_You sprinkle stardust on my pillow case._

_It's like a moonbeam brushed across my face._

_Nights are good._

_And that's the way it should be._

_Did you see that shooting star tonight?_

_Were you dazzled by the same constellation?_

_Did you and Jupiter conspire to get me?_

_I think you and the moon and Neptune got it right._

_Cause now I'm shining bright._

* * *

If there was one thing Karkat loved most about the summer months, it was how beautiful his gardens bloomed. He never did figure out what type of flowers the pendent decided to grow for him but they were absolutely beautiful once in the full bloom of summer. They were probably the only thing he loved about summer. He wasn't a fan of the humid heat nor the bright sun. He was the type of troll to curl up inside with a good book instead of wondering around outside unless he had to. He preferred winter over summer but it didn't matter all that much.

What mattered to him were his flowers. They had once meant everything to him. They were all he had. He was a lone troll on the outskirts of Alternia with no one but himself. The flowers were a reminder of times gone by that he tried so hard to forget but just couldn't. Each color meant something to him and then, the flowers themselves meant everything. They were a gift from a child he was sure he would never see again. They were precious to him.

Purple, reminded him of Gamzee and sometimes Eridan when the colored blended into different shades. The yellow reminded him of Sollux. The red always reminded him of Kankri. The flowers were his friends and his family, so he cherished them all the same. He never thought the day would come when he would have those people back in his life. He never thought the day would come when he would sit in the mist of his flowers with his brother at his side, smiling and speaking to him as if he hadn't been through traumatic hell. Never at all.

Kankri trailed off from whatever he was talking about, Karkat had not been paying much attention, and shifted his garnet eyes to the clear blue skies with a light smile on his plump lips. Karkat took the time to glance away from his brother and check on Jesse who was still trying to drag two empty buckets back to the well. They had just spent the majority of the morning watering the flowers and though a fine sheen of sweat covered their bodies, no one seemed to mind. It was pleasant and calm.

It was perhaps the first time Karkat could recall having alone time with his brother since they rediscovered him. John was off spending father-daughter time with Casey for the day and he had full plans to do the same with Jesse the next day. The hero liked giving the children alone time with him and they seemed to adore it. Karkat had no complaints about it. It gave him alone time with the other child.

These were the lazy days of summer and even though a war loomed in the distance, Karkat was more than willing to forget about it for awhile and just enjoy the time he had with his family. He wasn't willing to admit to them how scared he actually was about the oncoming war. He didn't want them to know how terrified he was of losing them again. He had no illusions that they would make it out of the battle unharmed. Someone would get hurt; someone may even die. But he didn't want to think about it. Not now. Not ever.

"You mentioned the pendent." Kankri started softly, his voice light on the wind as his eyes remained focused on the sky. "You never did fully explain what happened between you and John to me. You do not have to, of course. But I am curious."

Crimson glanced at the other troll, a dark eyebrow perked just as Jesse came lumbering over, covered in mud and dirt but a grin on his face as he plopped down into Karkat's lap. Claws immediately went into blond hair as Jesse curled up in his folded legs, arms tossed over one leg and little legs tossed over the other.

"Papa told me you took care of him as a baby." Jesse nuzzled into Karkat's hand as he looked up at the troll with wide childish eyes. "I wanna hear the story too!"

Karkat snorted softly. "It's not much of a story." He shrugged and glanced up to Kankri who was still watching him with curious garnet. Then he glanced down to Jesse who had that  _look_  on his face. Karkat let out a soft sigh and settled into a comfortable position before he tossed his eyes over his freshly watered flowers.

"I'd never been to Albion before," He began, "but it seemed like the best place to escape to. I didn't want to think about what I had left behind so I ran. I ran to protect them and myself. I was stumbling through a thick forest when I heard a baby crying out for its mother. I didn't... I knew it was human. Grubs didn't sound like that but it was still a familiar sound. It was stupid of me. I knew it then and I know it now." He sighed softly, closing his eyes as the memories came flooding back like they had a few months ago.

"But it's instinct. I guess being part human, kind of explains it now. I couldn't just leave the baby there. It was alone and appeared to be abandoned. I passed a cabin not too far back so I picked up the baby, hushed it and took it back to the cabin with me. I made a home there. I thought about taking the baby to a nearby village but I didn't know how humans reacted to orphaned children and I didn't want to risk something bad happening to him. So I kept him. I kept him because I was selfish."

"Hm." Jesse hummed softly, reaching up to pet at the hand in his hair. "How is that selfish, daddy? You kept me."

Karkat smiled softly, breathing out a sigh from his nose as he glanced down at the human child in his lap. "You're different. You're older. You know the human ways and how to speak their language. Back then, I didn't know much English. I knew enough to get by because of the books I read as a child but it wasn't enough to raise a human baby. He was defenseless and couldn't survive without me.

"So I went to the village. I didn't know how humans would react to me, let alone a troll with a human baby, so I had to be careful. I covered my horns and did my best to keep my skin hidden. It was all for nothing in the end. Jenna... She was kind to us. She helped me a great deal and gave me everything I could need to take care of a human baby. I named him Van, and we lived together for seven years."

"And then what happened?" Jesse asked, his eyes going a little wider as he sat up, settling in Karkat's lat to face the troll. Kankri was watching his brother as well, a look on his face that Karkat couldn't quite read.

"He was... He was special." Karkat explained softly, giving Jesse a tender look as he pet his blonde hair. "He was quick to learn but there was something else about him. He was about five or so when he started to fly. I wasn't sure what he was at that point only that he was special. We'd lost Jenna a few years before to a harsh winter and he had no interaction with other humans. I realized... He needed it. He needed to be around his own kind."

"You... gave him up?" Kankri asked gingerly, noticing the concealed pain within those crimson eyes.

"I had to. He was human. I was a troll. He was just a kid and he could fly. He was special and I couldn't... He needed to be with his own kind. So I sent him off to a group of soldiers. They took care of him. He left me the pendent and it..." He took a deep breath, raising his eyes to scan over the fields of flowers. "I buried it here. I buried it because I couldn't handle what I had done. I regretted everything in my makerforsaken life. I fell asleep with it and when I woke up," he flicked a hand over the flowers, "they were here. I decided to make this place my home."

"And... What happened to Van?" Jesse asked, eager.

"Van became John. He was raised by humans, taken care of and turned out to be a hero."

"Papa!" Jesse grinned, clapping his hands together.

"Yes, papa. Leaving him was the second hardest thing I've ever done but well, he turned out to be okay."

"He turned out to be a lovely amazing man." Kankri pointed out, perking a brow as he crossed his arms over his chest. "And that has something to do with you, Karkat. You do realize that, do you not?"

"He was seven."

"You were everything to him."

Crimson eyes narrowed. "He talked to you about this already didn't he?"

Kankri's grey cheeks flushed a light color and he quickly averted his eyes to the ground. "Well, He wasn't exactly shy about revealing why he loves you so much."

It was Karkat's turn to flush a deep shade of red. "I'm not sure if I'm okay with how close you two are or not."

"It's not like that!" Kankri snapped quickly, his eyes widening as his flush darkened. "We are family, Karkat, and he feels confidant to tell me these things."

"I didn't even mean it like that. I meant, I'm not sure how I feel about the two of you talking about me."

"Well, we had to do something while you were with Gamzee."

"Uncle Kankri told us about the time you tried to convince him that you absolutely needed to have a kitten!" Jesse interrupted with a grin, gaining the adult trolls attentions.

"You didn't." Karkat responded flatly.

"You were cute as a grub." Was all Kankri had to say on that manner.

"Fucking hell." Karkat groaned softly, rubbing a hand over his heated face.

"If you feel some form of violated, then please, allow me to make it up to you. I know there is plenty you wish to know about me, so ask away." Kankri offered.

The younger Vantas sat up straighter, the tension in his body melting away slightly as Jesse glanced between the two trolls. He tilted his head from side to side before he crawled out of Karkat's lap to plop down into Kankri's. He curled up against the plumper troll's chest and a look of affection crossed Kankri's face as he wrapped an arm around the boy, his claws sliding through blond hair.

"Tell me about Cronus." There was no hesitation in Karkat's voice and the determination in his eyes was not to be ignored. Kankri knew the topic was coming but he was less prepared for it than he originally expected.

"Cronus... He was..." Kankri trailed off, letting his fingers linger in Jesse's hair as he tried to think of where to even begin. Karkat already knew a chunk of his relationship with Cronus. Karkat knew the beginning and he knew the end, though not in detail. After a moment of reflection, Kankri continued.

"From the moment we decided to try a relationship, it was agreed upon that it would be a full quadrant relationship. That is the only type I want and being what I am, it is what I need. Cronus understood that. He didn't, at the time, fully understand what I meant by full quadrant but by the time I went off to the castle, we were in love. I believe you knew that already."

"Full quadrant thing, no. Love, I pretty much fucking assumed."

"Ah, yes, well," Kankri flushed and glanced away feeling Karkat's eyes burning into him, "We did not have much contact while I was in the castle. Kurloz was our main source of contact and even that was limited. I can assume you may know why and you would be correct." His voice tensed slightly but Jesse was there, nuzzling into his chest and trailing a hand over Kankri's that rested on his lap. It was comforting and with the warm look in Karkat's eyes, the older troll felt confidant enough to continue.

"When I decided to leave, Cronus had no hesitation. He packed for us, he didn't even question my choice. I never asked him to come with me. I didn't expect him to come with me. I told him things were different, I was different... And he knew that. And yet, he still didn't hesitate.

"We moved through Albion, in search of you or any sign we could of you. We settled outside a village for a few years before we moved on again and found the cabin you had abandoned. It was the last trace we had of you and at the point... I was tired. We both were. So we settled down there. It was peaceful and quiet and for once, Cronus and I could finally be alone together. It was... It was nice. So very nice."

"And then it wasn't." Karkat mumbled softly.

"And then it wasn't." He nodded in agreement as he lowered his head. "It was not a sudden thing. There was always something between us. We didn't fit right. We never did but I needed him. I needed someone. It was... Selfish of me to make him stay."

"You said he came without hesitation."

"He did."

"You didn't... Shit, I highly doubt you made that asshole  _do_ anything."

"Yes well, he still left. We fought. It was ridiculous, really. He said he needed space. He needed to think about things. Cronus always was a very social troll. Being alone in the middle of no where with me, we were forced to deal with each other on new levels. It just didn't work. He left and didn't return. There is not much else to say on the matter."

Karkat didn't want to push his brother. He could tell by the tension around those garnet eyes and the tight smile on his lips that Kankri had said enough. So, he thought to take a different approach. Talking about Cronus was a sensitive subject for his brother, he could understand that. And he had plenty of other questions for him.

"Okay. Explain a full quadrant relationship to me. What does that even mean?"

"It means... No separation, Karkat." Kankri straightened up a bit and the look that came to his face reminded Karkat of when he was very young and his brother would take the time to explain simple things to him. "The best way to explain it, I suppose, would be a human relationship. They spend their lives with one person. For the most part. That does not always work out but the idea is to have all quadrants together. Pale and Red are the two main ones pushed together into one. It's not all that hard for trolls like us. The human blood flows through our hearts and brings forth the desire to want someone who will love us and respects us as we are but also someone we can show our weaknesses too. Someone we are equal with but can be weak to. A moirail and matesprite put into one.

"The entire reason I put it into a whole quadrants system was because I was not entirely comfortable with Cronus..." Kankri's face suddenly flushed a delightful color of red and he quickly covered Jesse's ears with his hands as he leaned a bit closer to Karkat. "I was not comfortable with him being intimate with someone else."

Karkat perked a brow. "Mituna?"

Kankri grit his teeth for a moment before he lowered his hands from Jesse's ears only to find the human child was sleeping soundly against his chest. He sighed tenderly, petting blond hair as he focused his eyes on his brother's lap. "Their black romance was something to be envious of as a troll. But as his lover, it bothered me. I blamed that on the human in me. Humans typically do not share their lovers, though I am aware some do. It is a personal preference and I am not the type to share the person I love. Not in that manner."

"In other words, you didn't want Cronus fucking other people."

Kankri winced at the crude words but nodded. "I felt that was unfair of me as well. As trolls, it is natural for us to have two concupiscent relationships at a time but for me, I was uncomfortable with that. I accepted who and what I was a long time ago and I felt I had no time for someone who wasn't willing to adapt to my way of thinking. It was an issue I was unwilling to budge on."

"So... Then, you feel sexual desire?"

Kankri blinked in surprise and when he glanced up at Karkat, the younger troll had a strange look on his face. A mix of confusion and also curiosity. Kankri knew they were having a very private and important conversation and it made his heart swell. Could they be more pale? They were brothers and they finally had the time to act like it.

"I do." Kankri answered honestly. "I always have. There was a while were I thought I would never get to express it but Cronus came along and..." The rounds of his cheeks flushed a pretty color of crimson. "I'm not the type of troll to have intimate relations with someone I do not know or do not have feelings for, but that is a personal choice. There were many chances that I could have but I chose not to. Cronus taught me many things about myself including things of a sexual nature. Relations with someone I have feelings for means and feels much better than with someone I do not feel that way for."

"And what's the difference? From a technical point of view."

"Are you... Karkat do you have a specific event you would like a view on?"

Karkat pursed his lips together, the tips of his ears poking out from his hair turning red. "I never fucking thought I would talk about sex with you."

"I am here for you." Kankri reached across the small space between them and placed a comforting hand on his brother's knee. "I am no expert by any means in the ways of the body or heart but I can give you personal experience as some sort of help. I know being what we are causes confusion for you and I will gladly do what I can to ease that."

"Fucking hell." Crimson eyes rolled as he rubbed a hand over his flushed face. "Okay listen, Don't you say any of this shit to John okay. Seriously. This stays between us." He dropped his hands in his lap and peered over to make sure Jesse really was asleep in Kankri's lap.

"Of course, Karkat."

"Good. Okay. So." He took a deep breath, more embarrassed than he wanted to be and glanced away from his brother. "For a long time, I thought I was broken."

When Karkat didn't elaborate, Kankri gave his knee a squeeze and was greeted with those intense crimson eyes. "How did you believe you were broken?"

"I never felt sexual attraction. Like, I have a sex drive. I am aware of that. It exists but I was always under the impression that having sexual attraction was something all trolls had and I fucking didn't. Sollux and Eridan for example. I'd witnessed on more occasions than I ever fucking wanted how they could turn each other on. No one ever did that to me. Yeah, I fucked Sollux but that wasn't cause he did anything to me. He just, right place right time I guess."

Kankri stared at his brother with wide garnet eyes for a solid twenty seconds, his ears flushing as dark as Karkat's. "I believe I understand." He spoke slowly, still flustered. "You thought you were broken because you did not feel the things the trolls around you felt."

"Exactly. I knew I was a fucking mutant but I didn't think I was that broken. Cause I mean, I saw Cronus do it to you."

"What?" Kankri squeaked.

"Not like, fuck, no." Karkat's eyes went wide and he sat up straight, shaking his head and flopping his hands about. "I never  _saw_  you two but fuck Kankri, it's pretty obvious when someone is turned on. I'd seen him turn you on before."

"Oh. My."

"No one's ever done that to me. So I thought I was fucking broken."

Kankri nodded, swallowing hard as he tried not to think about the things his younger brother may had witnessed without his knowledge. "You are not broken, Karkat."

"Well I know that  _now_."

"You do?"

"Sort of. I mean, I do feel sexual attraction. Now."

"John?" The flush that spread down Karkat's neck was the only answer Kankri needed. "You were never broken, Karkat. You are part human and they have such a wide variety of sexual orientations. You are one of them though I have no idea which one."

"John insisted I was never broken too." He mumbled.

"You feel sexual attraction for John." Kankri clarified as he brought his index finger to tap against his chin. "You also feel pale for him as well as red, and don't give me that look it's the most obvious thing I've seen since Kurloz tried to hid his silence from me. It sounds to me like you desire the same full quadrant relationship I want. Being what we are, it only seems natural. And being what John is, it seems like a very good fit."

"A... good fit?"

"Of course. John is human. Most humans are capable of only the one quadrant type of relationship. Love and friendship rolled into one and I have no doubt that is exactly what John would love to have with you. But I am rather confused."

"About what?"

"Well, what is stopping you?"

For a moment, Karkat just stared at his brother. He flipped through all the previous excuses he had given and none of them seemed good enough to give Kankri. He knew the other troll would be able to see right through them anyway. So, he chose not to respond.

"I don't mean to pry." Kankri continued. "But you two desire to be together and I don't understand what is keeping you apart. Are you afraid? It's alright if you are." He was quick to point out. "Love is a rather scary thing. But you are not broken, Karkat and you are something worth having. I'm sure if you just sat down and explained whatever fears you have with John, he will listen and the two of you can work something out."

For once, Karkat had no retort. His brother was right and he knew it. The more he thought about Kankri's words the more sense they made and the less stress he felt on his shoulders. Fear was what had kept him from pursuing John. He knew that. They all knew that. John was the most kind patient dork that Karkat knew and he suddenly felt more lucky than ever to have the hero in his life.

"You never told me what the difference was." Karkat pointed out in an attempt to change the subject. "Thought you only fucked those you had feelings for."

Kankri leaned back at the abrupt change of subject, the flush returning to his cheeks instantly. "Do I honestly need to answer that?"

"Oh. Shit.  _Shit_ , Kankri, shit I'm sorry." Karkat scrambled to his brothers side, his eyes wide and his fangs gritted as he slipped an arm around Kankri's shoulders and pulled him close in a hug the best he could with Jesse between them. "I didn't- Grubfucking shit that was fucked of me."

Kankri took a deep breath and leaned into Karkat, giving a gentle nuzzle to his cheek as he settled Jesse comfortably in his lap without waking the human child. "Being intimate with someone you care for is one of the best feelings in the word, in my opinion."

Talking about Cronus was like walking through a field of landmines with Kankri and Karkat wasn't exactly keen on upsetting his brother more than he already did.

"I'm sorry, Kankri." Karkat spoke honestly, tenderly from the heart as he nuzzled his nose into Kankri's soft thick hair, just behind a pointed ear.

"I know. But I'm all right, Karkat. I really am. I may have things happen in my life that affected me negatively but I feel I'm a better being for it." A lax smile came to his lips as he patted Karkat's arm around him with one hand. "And I am not alone any longer. I have you again. As well as John, Jesse, Annabelle and Casey. I feel there is nothing else I need in my life."

"I doubt that but as long as you're happy I'm not really going to fucking complain about it." He let out a sigh and moved to rest his head atop his brother's.

"It is rather nice; being alone with you like this."

"Well, shit Kankri, of course you're going to bring it up." Karkat grumbled softly into black hair.

"Oh? Was I not supposed to?" Kankri blinked, glancing up at what he could see of his brother. "I thought it was a good idea to let you know I enjoy our time together. As much as I like being with John and Jesse and the others, I haven't been able to be alone with you in... a rather long time. I just find it nice is all."

"I missed you too."

The words were spoken like a whisper, sinking into his hair but loud enough for the older Vantas to hear clearly. His heart thumped and when he leaned into Karkat just a bit more, the troll took his weight without hesitation. It had been much too long since Kankri felt the comfort of another and he couldn't bare to ask for anything more. He had once been Karkat's rock and now, in turn, Karkat was his. He found it interesting how sweeps had changed such a small simple thing and he had no intention of complaining about it.

For now, he found he had all the time in the world to just enjoy the feeling of Karkat's arms around him and Jesse's soft breathing against his collar. He required nothing else in the universe.

* * *

For once, John felt like he had it all handled on his own. He didn't go to Rose for help and though Kankri had offered to help, he had politely declined. This was important. This was special and meant more than he ever thought possible. He wanted to do it all on his own and if he messed up he had no one to blame but himself. After all, he was the one to throw the whole thing together so he had no one to blame for failure but himself.

Yet, the hero did not see failure in his near future.

The night air was warmer than he would have liked and he could feel pieces of his light clothing sticking to him due to the heat. He rethought his plan. Perhaps it was a bad idea to spend the night outside in such weather. There was a soft breeze from the ocean occasionally that felt wonderful but John wondered if Karkat would be too uncomfortable to do what he had planned.

John didn't have a chance to consider changing his plans when he spotted the troll strolling down the pathway toward John's home. The hero was settled just outside his door, too nervous to sit around inside while he waited for Karkat to show up. The sun had set less than an hour ago and that was when John went about setting up his little plan. He just hoped Karkat liked it.

"Karkat!" The hero greeted with a grin once the troll was close enough, his heart thumping just at the sight of the other.

Crimson glanced up to the hero, a faint look of displeasure on his face as he approached the cottage by the sea. "I sure hope you have a good reason to call me all the way out here in this blustering heat."

John faltered only slightly. "The weather isn't that bad, Karkat!" He smiled, moving to meet the troll halfway. "I mean, it is a bit warm." He tugged at the hem of his sleeveless shirt, a gift from Kanaya to handle the heat of the summer. The heat never bothered the hero, much like the cold of winter but it still felt nice to wear appropriate clothing. "But it's bearable."

The light blue sleeveless shirt hugged his frame well, showing off the toned muscles of his arms perfectly well for all to see with his symbol lovingly stitched into the front. Karkat had a similar shirt he had yet to wear. He opted for one of John's cotton white t-shirts instead for the warm night and he was already regretting not wearing the sleeveless shirt.

"Maybe for you, human hero." Karkat scoffed softly, a teasing smile tugging at his lips. "But this troll is melting."

"Are you really?" John's smile fell slightly, his brow furrowing together as he reached out to brush his fingers over Karkat's hand.

Crimson narrowed suspiciously. "Do you have something planned?"

"Kind of."

"Kind of? Either you do or you don't, Egbert. Now spill."

A flush came to John's cheeks. Cheeks that were definitely more tan than the last time Karkat saw him which was the day before. The summer heat was caramelizing his skin in a way Karkat found very aesthetically pleasing to the point that he had to look away quickly, tearing his eyes away with more effort than he thought possible.

"Well, I wanted to do something special." John started softly, his fingers brushing over Karkat's hand before the troll twisted and allowed their fingers to curl together. John took a step closer, closing the small amount of distance between them, tilting his head down so their eyes could meet and Karkat found he couldn't look away. "It's been a year you know."

The troll perked a brow, searching bright blue. "Since?"

"You don't remember?"

"Are you..." Karkat inhaled sharply, a flush exploding along his cheeks and ears. "Are you seriously making an event out of us meeting?"

"It is an event, Karkat." John spoke tenderly, his voice even and soft as he peered into those stunning eyes. "We didn't know who the other was when we met then. It wasn't our first meeting but at the time, it felt like it. It's an important moment in time and yes, I want to celebrate it. Because it symbolizes the day I found you again."

"Shit. Shit, shit,  _shit_." Karkat's breath came out shakily and he squeezed John's hand so tightly he would have broken it if not for the fact that he was dealing with a hero. "You can't just motherfucking spring romantic shit on me like this."

"I'm sorry!" John's eyes widened and for a moment, he thought he messed up. He should have warned Karkat. The troll was right. He didn't like having things sprung on him and John had done just that. He hadn't even taken that into consideration when he planned this. It was valentine's day all over again.

Karkat hissed softly, his eyes shading in a bit of darkness as they narrowed and he leaned up enough to press their noses together. "You know what this romantic shit does to me."

"Do I?" John swallowed hard, his heart pounding in his chest from the fear of messing up.

"Don't you?"

"It makes you mad?"

Karkat blinked once and then again before he pulled back enough to meet John's eyes clearly. "Is that what you think?"

"Well, you tell me all the time not to spring romantic stuff on you."

"Cause it makes me want to jump you."

There was a period of silence where they just stared at one another.

"What?" John's lips parted, his jaw falling open.

"Like you didn't know." Karkat gave John's hand a tug, pulling the hero's attention back to the situation at hand. "You're supposed to kiss me now."

"What?" John squeaked out.

A smile curled to plump lips and as Karkat leaned up on his toes, John was pretty damn sure he had the best troll in the universe. "Don't ever stop springing these things on me. Nope, never. Don't do that to me John, no matter what I say. Now shut your attractive face and kiss me."

The hero didn't need explaining to twice.

John dipped his head down, closing the small distance between them until their lips pressed together. There was always something special about kissing Karkat. Whether it was a year ago and filled with anger and hate or just a month ago when it was filled with things John wasn't willing to be that hopeful about. Kissing Karkat was an adventure and a pleasure. Something the hero would never wish to stop and if he was forced to, he would severely miss.

Karkat made a delicate noise in the back of his throat as their lips slid together, catching in all the right places. He tugged his hand free from John's so he could bury them into soft raven hair, arching into the human who was happy to wrap his arms around the troll. They pulled apart occasionally, changing position only slightly just to dive right back in and kiss like fools all over again. John would never tire of Karkat's claws in his hair or Karkat's lips on his own. Not in a million years; he was sure of it.

"I haven't even told you what," Karkat cut him off with another tender kiss to his sensitive lips, "I have planned."

"You planned something, John. That's enough for me. Hell, you fucking remembered it's been a year. Why are you so globblustering sweet all the fucking time? I can't handle this shit. You're not allowed to be this good to me. I don't deserve it." The troll mumbled in a rush, his eyes fully focused on the reddened lips of the windy hero mere centimeters away.

"Of course you deserve it, Karkat."

The disagreeing noise in his throat left room for debate but Karkat closed the distance between them again, giving John's lips something else to do other than talk. Something that made the troll's toes curl and his stomach to burn with an unfamiliar feeling. Kissing John was a new adventure he was ready to embark on, prepared or not.

"Ah, Karkat." John pulled back slightly, licking at his lips with a burning desire in his eyes. His hands were tight on the troll's hips and he used that to keep them apart. "You um, you keep kissing me like that and I don't know what I'll do."

Karkat's face flushed darkly, burning along with John's. He had the desire to say he didn't care. He didn't mind if John did more, because he didn't. He honestly didn't. But, he knew it was too soon. He knew they needed to talk about what was happening between them. It was important. More important than any amount of sex he could probably weasel out of John.

"Right." He looked away, a bit ashamed at himself for just jumping the hero. Thee talk with Kankri a few days before lingered in his head and as his hands slipped out of John's hair to rest on his shoulders he found his brother was more right than he'd probably ever been in his entire life. But fear was a real thing that spike in that warm pit in his stomach. "Sorry about that." He lazily removed his hands from John's shoulders and once they were gone, John hesitated to pull his hands from Karkat's hips but did so.

"You know I don't mind." His smile caused his flushed cheeks to bunch up in the cutest way. "I just... Yeah." He tried to hid his pleased happy grin but he failed miserably.

Karkat inhaled deeply, shoving away the strange feelings stirring around in his stomach. "You have something planned?"

"Oh right!" John lit up even more, if that was possible, and snatched up Karkat's hand, his blue eyes sparkling in the moonlight. "This way!"

Karkat followed along, intertwining his fingers with John's as the hero led him around the cottage to the small worn path. They walked along together silently, savoring the warm night air and the feeling of being alone together. It had been a while since they had been alone; just the two of them. But Jesse was safe and sound with Kankri and finally, they were alone for something John had spent a good deal of time planning.

"Ta-da!" John said with a grin, opening up his free arm to swipe over his preparations for the night once they reached the beach.

Laid on the soft sand was a large blanket with lit candles holding each corner down from blowing away in the soft ocean breeze. Settled on the blanket was a dinner for two, covered up so nothing would get to it while John waited for Karkat's arrival. The moon was bright and nearly full in the sky, casting light on them where the candles could not reach.

"Oh." Karkat swallowed, a lump bobbing in his throat as he pressed closer to John's arm. "What's this?"

"A picnic! I figured it'd be better at night since the days are almost unbearably hot and I know you like the ocean. And you really seemed to enjoy it last time I cooked for you so I wanted to try it again. It's quiet out here and no one comes to the beach this late at night. So, we're alone. Under the stars."

It held meaning. Of course it held meaning. Having dinner alone under the stars with John. A dinner that John had made himself. An entire date that John had planned on his own to make Karkat feel special. And fuck did he feel special. He could feel the familiar prickle of tears in the corners of his eyes which he forced down with a stern will.

"Do you... like it?" John asked, chewing on his bottom lip as he twisted to peer down at the troll.

When Karkat met his eyes, they both blushed. "Yes. Yes I do."

"Good." John squeezed his hand and moved slowly toward the blanket with Karkat following along in a slight daze.

John was too good to him. It was a fact Karkat would never budge on. John was also a great cook. John was a lot of great things that Karkat didn't find himself worthy to be apart of. But John's smile kept him going. He would stay by the hero's side as long as he could see that smile. A smile that could lit up a room and break through any negative mood he was feeling.

Dinner was nice. They kept up small talk once Karkat snapped out of his daze and talked about Jesse and Casey as they eat; Karkat complimenting John on his food when he could slip it in. It was nice to just spend time together. To talk like they used to without the interruption of anyone else. Of course they loved their family but it was lovely to just be alone together.

Once dinner was done and John went about stuffing their picnic back into the wicker basket, Karkat spread out on the blanket, his back against the sand and his eyes raised to the stars. With the picnic cleaned up, John settled down beside the troll on his back, his arms folded under his head as he too watched the stars.

"Do you recall what Roxy said?" Karkat's voice was light, his eyes still focused on the sea of stars above them.

John glanced to the side, watching Karkat from the corner of his eyes. "You mean the written in the stars thing?"

"Yes. We never talked about that."

Blue followed the line of Karkat's nose and jaw before they closed. "About what she said or about what happened after?"

Heat flared to Karkat's face and he glanced away from the stars to see John's face darken in color, his eyes still closed. "What she said."

"Oh. You want to know if I agree with it?"

"I'd like to know your thoughts."

When John opened his eyes again, crimson struck him to the core and he had to remember how to breathe again. "It's... Well, She's right, I believe. It is pretty interesting how we found each other again. What are the chances of that? You let me go, for good reasons, and I did what you told me to do. I forgot. I became a part of human society. A society that led me back to you. Even if we would have never met when we were younger and I stumbled upon you in the forest like I did, I believe we'd still be right here where we are. I feel like... somehow, someway, we would have found one another."

"That's called fate, John." Karkat mumbled, his heart thumping in his throat as he glanced away to the stars, unable to handle the intensity in those beautiful eyes.

"Is that a bad thing? Is fate bad? I've always believed everything happened for a reason. Look at it this way." John shifted his eyes to the stars. "If I never ran into you again, I'd probably still be in Bowerstone, looking for something to make me feel like I belonged. Hell, Jade and Dave probably wouldn't be together because Dave and I were sorta headed in that direction already, though there was Jake and yeah. Wow. Anyway," He cleared his throat, refusing to meet the eyes burning into his side, "I wouldn't have progressed with my life. Though, I might have Casey. Cause that happened before I met you. But I wouldn't have Jesse and I certainly wouldn't have Kankri.

"And that's another thing. If we hadn't met, who knows if or when you would have found Kankri again. And Gamzee... You wouldn't have ever saved Gamzee. Nor would you have Jesse or Casey. Or Adairis and Asher. And I know you're close friends with Rose and then you wouldn't have found Kanaya again either. And on that note, if you had never saved me as a baby in the first place who freaking knows where I would be right now. Probably eaten by wolves or hollow men. Either way, probably dead somehow.

"So, is fate really bad then? If all of this is fate. I don't know what it is. But whatever it is, I'm on its side because it led me to you."

By the end of John's speech, he had his fingers intertwined with Karkat's, settled between them and he was pretty sure his heart was trying to beat its way up his throat and out of his mouth.

"Remember what I said about being a romantic sap?" Karkat whispered to the ocean breeze.

"To stop?"

"Yeah." Karkat rolled onto his side, squeezing John's hand with both hands between them and let his forehead rest against the hero's shoulder, his eyes closed tight and his mouth straining to hold back a smile. "Though it's probably all my fault for reading you romantic novels at bedtime every night."

John laughed, a light sound in his throat as he brushed his free hand through soft waves of black. "You know, it might be."

"John?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, Karkat." He turned his head to the side, brushing his lips over a warm grey forehead without hesitation.

"Now about what happened afterwards..."

"Oh maker, Karkat, no." John laughed, pulling back enough to see the glint of amusement in crimson eyes. "I thought we made a silent agreement to never speak of that."

"I recall no such thing." His lips curled into a smirk as he pressed closer, resting his chin on John's shoulder who still laid on his back.

"Oh maker." John groaned, hiding his flushed face with his free hand and tilting his head away from Karkat.

"You're not alone, you know."

"Karkat, I love you. I really do, but I don't want to discuss what I do when I'm alone after you shove your tongue down my throat, okay?"

Karkat snorted, a sound that made John's lips twitch in a smile. "I said you're not alone."

"Yes I know, you're right beside me. I can feel your troll heat sinking into my skin and let me tell you, it's really freaking warm over here, Karkat."

"Oh my fuck, John, I'm saying you're not the only one whose done that."

When the hero pried his eyes open and glanced at Karkat, the troll's face was flushed but there was seriousness in his smirked expression. "Oh."

"Yeah."

" _Oh._ " John licked his lips, his eyes scanning down Karkat's body before they bounced back to crimson. "Right."

"Mhm."

"Don't tell me that."

"Why not?"

John whined softly. "That's not fair, Karkat."

"The fuck did I do?" He perked a brow, his smirk remaining. "I thought you'd like to know you are not the only one affected by some of our kissing."

"Karkat." He whined again, closing his eyes as he wiggled slightly, brushing his hip against Karkat's stomach in the process.

"Is there a problem, John?"

"You. You're doing this on purpose. I know you are." He huffed slightly, dropping his free hand to his side as he sent Karkat a faint glare.

"So?" His smirk increased in size, splitting his face until his fangs were gleaming in the moonlight.

"So, you-You can't-Damnit Karkat."

The troll laughed, his smirk shifting into a smile as he leaned forward to plant an innocent kiss to John's awaiting cheek. "I'd say I'm sorry but I'm not. Seeing you flustered is hilarious."

"The things you do to me." John sighed lovingly, watching Karkat with a tender expression as he squeezed their sweating hands. "Oh wow it really is hot between us."

Karkat barked out a laugh that startled the hero. "Oh so  _hot_ , John. Practically  _melting_."

"You, oh wow, Karkat." The hero flushed, rolling his eyes with a smile on his lips. "Is this a thing now? You making sexual jokes at me because we both want to bone each other but it's not going to happen cause, well I don't really know, cause there are more sensitive things at hand and yeah whoa I didn't want to get that serious all of a sudden."

Karkat snorted again and gave a pat to John's shoulder. "Slow down there, cowboy."

"So you don't want to bone me?" John asked, a wounded look on his face but amusement sparkled in his eyes.

"You, fuck you, John. Fuck you with a prickly cactus so far up your rectum you won't be able to walk until you're fifty." Karkat grumbled, flustered as he buried his head into John's shoulder.

"I'll take that as a yes, but if what you've got hidden in there is like a cactus I think we might need to have a serious talk about how this is all going to work."

Karkat flinched and tilted his head to get a good look at John's face. "John. Were you planning on taking my strange troll bulge up your rectum?"

Blue eyes widened to the point that Karkat thought they'd pop out if they could. "Um." His skin darkened in color, spreading over his ears and down his neck.

"Oh." Karkat's mouth went dry and that strange stirring in his stomach returned. He knew exactly what it meant and though he liked it, he wouldn't let it lead him in a certain direction. Not tonight anyway.

"It's hot!" John exclaimed suddenly, sitting up and forcing Karkat to pull away from him. "Are you hot? It's really hot."

"John." Karkat sat up, letting their hands fall apart as he raked a hand through his hair.

"The water looks nice." John pointed out, his eyes glancing from the water to Karkat and back, his face still flushed but there was a smile there. "Let's go swimming."

"What?"

"It'll feel nice! The water is nice and cool and the waves aren't bad at all right now. I think the tide's out. Come on." He kicked off his boots and was on his feet before Karkat had a chance to stop him.

"It's salt water, John." Karkat shifted to his feet as well, toeing John's abandoned boots before glancing up to see John shuffle toward the water.

"It won't hurt you. Have you never swam in the ocean before? It's great, Karkat!" John threw his hands in the air, putting his back to the ocean as he walked backwards. "Come on, it'll be great!" He moved close enough to have the waves licking at his bare feet, the water much cooler than he expected but still nice.

"You're crazy, you know that right?"

"I think we both need to cool off." John nodded, flashing Karkat a smile before he shot up in the air, flew only a few feet and them plummeted into the water.

"John!" Karkat gasped, running the few feet to the crashing waves to scan the dark ocean surface for the hero. "You asshole, that's not funny." He grit his teeth but the hero was no where to be seen. "John!"

"So you really do care." John giggled softly from behind Karkat, his cold wet hands slipping around the troll's waist.

"You shitspitting clumberfuck, how did you- wait, fuck, John, no." Karkat flinched against the cold hands around his body as he was lifted into the air without his consent. "Put me down, John Egbert."

"Oh? Are you sure?" John asked laughing.

When Karkat looked down, all he saw was water. Dark ocean water. "John. John I can't swim. Don't you drop me, you fucking ass don't you dare."

"I've seen you swim, Karkat."

"You've seen me in less than four feet of water. Where I can touch. I'm a fucking land troll, we're not made to swim. I don't fucking float."

John hummed and with the winds help he managed to move in front of Karkat, his hands secured on the troll's hips. "I wouldn't drop you anyway, Karkat that would be mean."

"Then why the fuck are we getting closer to the water."

"Because I  _can_  swim. So don't panic, okay? I've got you."

"It's flying all over again, isn't it? Fuck you, John." He hissed softly, wrapping his arms around John's shoulders tightly and held on.

John dipped them in feet first and Karkat let out a noise of disapproval. It was cold but John was soaked through his clothes and he felt good. So, they dropped into the water. John kept them afloat without much of a problem and his smile grew the tighter Karkat clung to him.

"See, it's nice."

"Yes, the water feels good, okay? You were right asshole. Now can we go somewhere I can touch or what?"

"Yes. Yes." Twisting so Karkat was laying on him in the water, John kicked his feet toward shore, letting the troll hold onto him.

Karkat pulled away as soon as his feet could touch bottom and he just stood there for a second, realizing he'd been dropped in the water with all of his clothes on. Including his boots. "Great. Now my clothes are soaked."

"Feels good though, doesn't it?" John offered, dipping to float on his back beside Karkat, his arms folded behind his head.

"Yes." He plucked at his half damp shirt, noticing the way his grey skin peered through the now translucent white fabric.

The water was cool and the waves were barely even there, pushing them gently with the motion of the water but not forcing them in any manner. Moonlight twinkled off the surface and when Karkat glanced over to John, his stomach did that strange burning thing again from the look in those blue eyes. The water licked at his chest, damping his shirt all the more and making it way more obvious that his dark discs were visible to the world, perked up from the cold and enjoying the attention. He might as well be naked.

"Oh fuck this." He grumbled and made his way out of the water.

"Aw! Karkat, don't get out already!" John got to his feet and stood in the water, patting the surface with his palms.

"I'm getting undressed you nookwiff." He snapped back, kicking off his boots onto the blanket, not caring if he got sand everywhere. He tugged his shirt off and then unbuckled his pants to pull them off as well. Once he was naked, he felt better and when the turned back to the ocean, John was still standing there, his eyes wide, his face flushed and his lips parted.

"Like what you see?" Karkat teased, putting his fists on his hips.

"Um." John swallowed so hard his Adam's apple bobbed. "Yes? Can I say yes? Because holy fuck Karkat, yes."

The troll flushed darkly and hurried back into the water, hiding his body from view as he sank down till the water came to his nose. John decided being naked was an awfully good idea so he flew out of the water to strip down as well. He laid out their clothes even though he was sure they wouldn't dry anytime soon, folded up his glasses on the picnic basket and then hurried back into the water.

"Sure there's not some creature in the ocean that won't mistake your bulge for its next meal?" Karkat asked, popping his head up enough so the water lapped at his chin.

"We can not all be blessed enough to have our bulges hidden from danger. Also why are you thinking about my bulge, hm, Karkat?" John grinned, swimming closer to the flushing troll.

"I just think it would be a shame if something bit it off." Pushing his feet against the soft sandy bottom, Karkat moved back from John just slightly.

"Because?"

"It would hurt."

"And?"

"Oh fucking maker, you want me to say it'd be a shame cause then I'd never get to have it. Well, I won't say that you assmuncher."

"You just did." John giggled softly, reaching out beneath the water to grab Karkat's waist and pull them close together. "Sorry, I just wanted to hear it you know. Know that I'm not alone in all of this."

"You're an attractive piece of shit. You knew this already." Karkat grumbled, letting John pull them close and nuzzle into his slightly damp hair.

"Ah, but I'm an attractive piece of shit to  _you_  and that's the important part."

Karkat rolled his eyes, a smile tugging at his lips. "You fucking dork."

"You love me and you know it." He gave a gentle kiss to Karkat's temple, letting them settle together in the water, bare bodies pressed together in a way that was more sensual than sexual.

A silence settled over them and as Karkat leaned into John, nuzzling his way into the hero's collar bone, John realized the troll didn't deny what he said. He didn't even acknowledge it really but, it meant something. Hell, it meant everything. But John wasn't willing to ruin their special little moment in the water beneath the stars with words. So, he held onto Karkat, giving him soft kisses when prompted and let his heart sore just a little higher than before.

* * *

It had been Kankri's idea. The troll had mentioned it when John told him all about his little late night adventure with Karkat in the ocean a week ago. Kankri thought, considering they all felt like they were melting in the summer heat, it would be a great idea to go to the beach together. It didn't take much convincing for Karkat to agree after the hopeful look Jesse had given him. The boy was one of the troll's weaknesses and he knew it too.

After a little preparation, they found their way to the beach where Annabelle and Casey met them. The children were so happy to be out and about in the sand and John was happy they were happy. Kankri and Karkat settled down on a blanket they brought while Annabelle settled on a little chair beside them with an umbrella to keep the sun off them. It was John's job to look after the children and he was more than fine with that. He loved swooping up in the air and diving down to catch them as they went into the water. Neither of the two children really knew how to swim, so the adults kept a close eye, with John always lingering nearby in the air.

It was a nice day. The breeze coming off the ocean was cool and though the sun was bright and burning, it was bearable.

Though Karkat disagreed.

He never was a fan of summer so when he stood up after only an hour or so of sitting beside his brother, Kankri was not all that surprised. John lit up when Karkat tugged his shirt off and Jesse started to clap, the water licking at his ankles as he stood in sand. Casey was busy trying to balance on John's back as they floated in the water.

"Daddy's joining us!" Jesse exclaimed with a grin, clapping his hands as he hopped up and down.

"It's so blustering hot out here." Karkat grumbled, dropping his shirt on his earlier discarded boots. His pants soon followed, leaving him in boxer shorts similar to the ones John was wearing.

"I'll join you in a moment." Annabelle offered with a smile, moving to her feet as well.

Karkat gave her a nod before plodding off to Jesse who was waiting with arms outstretched. "You want to swim with me?"

"Yeah! I want to swim with daddy!"

The troll picked up the human boy, shivering at the cool water lapping at his feet. "Don't let go of me. Neither of us know how to swim so this should be interesting."

Jesse nodded vigorously and wrapped his legs around Karkat's torso in a vice grip. Slowly, the troll entered into the water, already feeling better. John swam up to them with Casey still on his back and by the time the water was to Karkat's waist, he no longer felt like he was going to melt from the heat. Jesse giggled and slapped at the water's surface, keeping his legs around Karkat's torso.

"I can teach you how to swim." John offered, a glint of amusement in his beautiful eyes as he glanced between the troll and the boy.

"I'm good. But you can teach him."

They switched children, Jesse going to cling to John while Casey swam circles around Karkat. The girl had grown up on the beach, of course she knew how to swim. She giggled as Karkat tried to chase her, her smile wide and bright. Annabelle soon joined them and took Jesse from John so the hero could take a little break.

He was dripping wet when he stepped up to Kankri. The troll smiled at him and offered a clean towel that the hero took with a smile. He set about drying off his face and hands and did his best to not drip any water on Kankri.

"Are you getting in?"

"We are land trolls, John. We do not float." Kankri pointed out.

"Yeah, Karkat told me that." He smiled and twisted around to see the object of his affections.

He watched with a swollen heart as Karkat dipped under the water only to come back up and scare Casey, making the little girl squeal with delight. There was something beautiful about the troll in that moment. His smile was wide and open, his eyes sparkling from the sunlight glittering off the water's surface and he looked truly happy. It was all John could have ever asked for.

"He looks so happy." Kankri observed, shifting to pull his knees to his chest and folded his arms atop them. "He needs this. I know he's very worried about the oncoming battle. He always was the type to worry. To think out every possible outcome and work around them. He's a strategic thinker but he's also very passionate. He needs this." Garnet glanced up to meet unreadable blue. "Don't you agree?"

"Yeah." John swallowed, biting on his lip as he glanced back to Karkat. "But you do too, Kankri." His smile widened as he dropped the towel over the chair Annabelle brought and held out his hand to the older Vantas brother. "Come on that water isn't that deep for a while."

Kankri bit the inside of his cheek and squeezed his knees a bit tighter. "I am quite alright, John."

The hero examined Kankri's body, taking note of how he was holding himself tightly and how the only skin he was showing happened to be his face and hands. He had to be dying in that red long-sleeved shirt and with the line of sweat on his brow, John was convinced he was. The hero hummed and dropped down, squatting beside the troll to peer into his face.

"We won't let you drown."

"I am aware of that."

"Then what it is? Do you not like water?"

"Water is quite fine, John."

"If you don't know how to swim, that's fine. Neither does Karkat."

Kankri took a deep breath. "John."

"Kankri."

Garnet glanced at him, slightly defeated. "I am fine."

"You're not fine. You've got to be melting in those clothes. Come on." He offered a kind smile, placing his hand on Kankri's shoulder. "Join us."

"Uncle Kankri!" Jesse called from the water, a grin on his face as he floated in the water with Annabelle's help. "Look! I can float! Come swim with us!"

Karkat snapped his head up from Casey, who was still swimming circles around him, laughing all the way. The younger troll offered his brother a smile and flicked his hand in an inviting motion. It made Kankri's heart warm but it wasn't enough to get him to budge and that concerned John just a bit.

"See, they want you to join them."

"I know. That's very kind of them."

John pushed his lips back and forth. "Is it Cronus?"

Kankri flinched at the name and looked up at John with wider eyes. "Pardon?"

"Well, he's Eridan's brother. Eridan is a seadweller. That makes Cronus one too which means, the sea is their home, right? They are probably great swimmers and can even spend a long time under water, right? Eridan has gills, so I assume Cronus has them too. Does the ocean remind you of him and that's why?"

"You..." Kankri sighed and buried his head into his folded arms. "I didn't expect you to read through me so clearly."

"I know you're hurt over him, Kankri. I know that being reminded of him hurts." John spoke gently and moved a bit closer, slipping his arm around Kankri's shoulder in a comforting manner. "But, I think it's time you make new memories. Ones that will make you smile. Ones with your new family, okay? Let's make the ocean something happy for you."

"I have to take my clothes off."

The mumbled words made John blink in surprise and suddenly it all clicked together for him. "Do you know how to swim?"

"I was with Cronus for a long time, John. He taught me many things. Swimming included." He lifted his head slightly, pressing his cheek against an arm so he could meet John's eyes.

"Aside from the shitty way he left you, he was still good to you right?"

Kankri's brow furrowed. "Why do you ask?"

"Did he ever tell you that you're beautiful?"

Garnet darkened in color just slightly as he raised his head. "I am unsure what that may have to do with what we are discussing."

"It's okay to be shy, Kankri. But you're with family here." He crinkled his nose with a smile as he leaned closer to give the troll a good nuzzle to his cheek, much like he'd seen the brothers do to one another. "You're beautiful."

"He told me that constantly."

"Did you believe it?"

"Not once."

John crinkled his nose as he leaned back, peering into Kankri's flushed face. "Well, he thought you were beautiful. Did you believe that?"

"Yes. Yes I did."

"Well, we think you're beautiful too. If you're not comfortable, you can wear Karkat's shirt. It's mine actually, so we won't mind."

Kankri took a deep breath and cast the shirt a glance before scanning his eyes over ocean. Seeing Karkat swinging Casey around in the water made him smile and Jesse continued to wave at him every time their eyes met. They wanted him to join them and that was enough for him. John was right. It was time to stop holding back because of the things in his past that hurt him and start making a new path.

"Thank you, John." Kankri smiled genuinely at the hero before he moved to his feet.

"You're welcome." John grinned and got to his feet as well, putting his hands on his hips as he turned to watch Karkat.

Once Kankri made a decision there was no turning back for him. Once his mind was set to something, there was no changing it. So he did not hesitate when he grabbed the hem of his shirt and tugged it off. He was a little heavier set than Karkat but it was nothing to be ashamed of. He was beautiful in his own way, as Cronus always loved to remind him. He folded up his shirt and placed it near Karkat's discarded one before removing his boots and setting them in the sand. His pants came next, slipping down plump hips and thighs before they would folded up to join his shirt. He was left in his underwear which was more feminine than John expected but there was still a smile on his lips when he held his hand out to Kankri.

The troll did not hesitate to take it.

"Uncle Kankri!" Jesse exclaimed, his face lighting up when he noticed John and Kankri walking toward the water. He swam away from Annabelle until his feet could reach the bottom and then he ran the best he could to reach them. "You're coming?" He clasped his hands together once they reached the water, his eyes sparkling with hope.

"Of course." Kankri's smile was soft and warm as he patted Jesse's damp hair. "It's rather hot today."

"Yeah! The water is so nice!" Jesse tossed his hands in the air before he took off back into the water and tossed himself into it. Annabelle was right there to make sure he was fine but the boy picked up on swimming rather quickly.

"You good?" John asked, giving the small of Kankri's back a pat.

"Yes, John."

"Alright." He flashed him a smile before he flew into the air so he could dive down in the water beside Karkat, splashing the troll and making Casey giggle.

Kankri took his time in approaching the water, letting the small waves lick at his feet while he became used to the coolness. He was reminded of the many times in his youth, back before he and Cronus ever became something, and the seadweller would drag him to the ocean for a swim. The memories made his heart swell in a good way.

After a few minutes, he waded his way into the water until it was up to his waist. And then, the dipped down, disappearing into the water for a solid minute before appearing beside Karkat. The younger troll flinched in surprise but offered his brother a smile as John swam off with Casey toward Annabelle and Jesse.

"About time you got in."

"Karkat?"

He perked a dark eyebrow. "Yeah?"

"You have a very good one." Kankri settled next to his brother, garnet glancing over to John with a fond smile on his lips. "I suggest you keep him."

Karkat narrowed his eyes and nudged Kankri with his shoulder. "Wasn't planning on giving him up."

"Good. That's very good."

"He's made one hell of an impression on you hasn't he?"

"He's a good man. They are rare to find."

Karkat snorted softly. "I wouldn't really know but if you say so." Crimson followed garnet and watched as John went under the water, swimming around the two children who laughed, waiting for him to resurface.

"You recall how you mentioned I should get my own?"

Karkat's attention was drawn to his brother who was leaning their shoulders together. "Yeah?"

"I think I might."

"Just not Dave. Anyone but Dave, I fucking beg you Kankri."

"I meant a human, Karkat but a hero would be just as nice."

"Dave's taken anyway. Some-fucking-how. Jade could do so much better. She'd be good for you."

"I'd rather you not attempt to set me up with someone who is already involved."

"Damn."

A warm smile curled to plump lips. "Besides, I'm not entirely fond of females in that manner."

Karkat perked a brow and leaned on his brother just a bit more. "That explains a lot." He hummed. "Well that leaves Jake and Dirk and believe it or not, they're boning each other. So looks like the heroes are out." Kankri tensed for a second and though Karkat noticed it, he chose not to mention it. "Don't know much about the humans around here. Which reminds me, you need to meet Adairis and Asher." Karkat's eyes glanced over the ocean. "Maybe later. I haven't been by in a while."

"And they are?"

"Friends. Harmless. Weird as fuck but harmless."

"Are they human?"

"Nope."

Garnet widened slightly. "I see. I know a little about humans and the way they work, I feel it would be enough to find myself someone new."

"Fair warning, their junk is weird."

"I know."

The brothers were silence for a tense moment before Karkat glanced at him, cutting his eyes to the side. "You know?"

Round grey cheeks flushed a dark color and Kankri quickly looked to the water. "Yes."

"Hold the fuck up." Karkat shifted, turning to face his brother with a look of curiosity on his face. "You've slept with a human?"

Kankri glanced around them, taking note that they were far enough away from the others that if he whispered he shouldn't be heard. As long as Karkat did not make a big deal out of it. He leaned in closer to his brother, his eyes focusing on crimson. " _ **I have.**_ " He whispered in Alternian, knowing that only John would understand if he happened to hear.

" _ **Whoa. What? When? You didn't tell me that.**_ " A smirk curled to Karkat's lips as he leaned just a bit closer.

" _ **It wasn't exactly something I thought to mention. But since you've been so open and honest with me, I thought it would be wise to be the same with you.**_ "

" _ **So, when? Where?**_ **Who** _ **?**_ " There was a gleam in Karkat's eyes that reminded Kankri of when the younger Vantas was reading a good book.

" _ **Five or so sweeps ago.**_ " He mumbled, hugging himself as he settled a bit deeper into the water. " _ **I'm not entirely proud of it. I hardly knew the man.**_ "

" _ **I thought you didn't fuck people you didn't have feelings for?**_ "

" _ **Things change when someone is desperate, Karkat. But as I said, I'm not proud of it.**_ "

Karkat snickered, sinking down into the water with his brother until the waves were lapping at their necks. " _ **I bet you rocked his fucking world.**_ "

"Karkat!" He gasped, eyes going wide as he slapped a hand to Karkat's bare shoulder.

"What? Come on, I bet you did. You're a whole different species and we  _are_  made to fuck like animals."

"We are not discussing this." Kankri groaned, dropping his head into his wet hands.

"Oh come on, Kan, we're family we can talk about this shit."

"That is exactly why we  _shouldn't_."

Karkat smirked at his brothers flushed face and nudged his arm, moving closer. " _ **Did you rock his world, Kan?**_ "

" _ **How am I supposed to know that?**_ "

" _ **Well shit did he cum?**_ "

" _ **Oh my maker. Yes, okay, yes but I don't see how that qualifies as 'rocking' his world.**_ "

" _ **Did you do it again?**_ "

" _ **What?**_ " Kankri gasped, snapping his head up to meet those dark crimson eyes.

" _ **Did you fuck him again?**_ "

" _ **It sounds so**_ **vulgar** _ **when you put it like that.**_ "

" _ **Did you?**_ "

" _ **Yes, goodness, Karkat.**_ " He dipped down in the water till it came just below his slightly narrowed eyes.

Karkat's smirk grew and he sunk down with his brother, the water lapping at his lips. " _ **That good huh?**_ "

Kankri popped up enough so he could speak. " _ **You just want to know because you want to know how good humans are at it.**_ " Garnet glanced at innocent little John playing with innocent little children.

" _ **Duh.**_ "

" _ **Have you even told him you're in love with him yet?**_ "

" _ **Hey, we're talking about you right now fucker.**_ " Karkat narrowed his eyes and leaned closer, brushing their noses together. " _ **So was it good or what?**_ "

" _ **If you must know, yes. It was amazing**_."

" _ **Amazing hm?**_ " Karkat's eyebrows rose.

" _ **Oh**_ **my** _ **, yes, amazing, does that explain enough?**_ "

" _ **Not really.**_ "

" _ **I'm not one of your books, Karkat. I am not going into vivid detail about my sexual relations with a complete stranger.**_ "

"See, I was going to scare both of you," John's voice made them both jump, dark eyes turning to the hero floating behind them with a coy smirk on his lips, "But this sounds more interesting."

"Oh no. Oh please no." Kankri groaned, his ears flaring with color before he disappeared under the water.

"Damnit John, I almost got the details out of him." Karkat flashed his fangs at the hero.

John laughed, rolling his eyes at the troll before he jumped on him, dragging him under the water before they both popped up for air. "Still got you."

"Damnit." He ran fingers through his wet hair, his eyes narrowed as he scanned the water for his brother. He wasn't too surprised to see Kankri over with Annabelle, a grinning Jesse in his arms. His brother had escaped for the time being but Karkat had plenty of questions for him. And no, it was not for selfish reason. He really was curious. Or so he told himself. "Fuck you, Egbert." Karkat hissed non-threateningly before tossing his body onto John's, dragging the laughing hero under the water.

* * *

"You used to do that too." Kankri's voice was light as he watched Jesse.

"You know, sometimes you sound more like a proud father than I do." Karkat rolled his eyes, shifting to rest his head in his folded arms as he laid on his stomach, crimson focused on the human boy.

Jesse was smiling to himself, busily making mud pies beside a row of flowers. They'd spent the majority of the afternoon watering flowers since both trolls were starting to ease into a human sleep schedule. It wasn't too hard and it made thing easier with Jesse but they were both still getting used to being awake during the day. It sure was hotter when the sun was up, that was for sure.

"Does it embarrass you?" Kankri asked, truly curious.

"Not really." Crimson glanced up at Kankri, who was sitting with his legs folded under him beside his brother. "Still can't believe you told John all those stories."

"You raised him. It was only fair he knew the embarrassing grubhood stories of yours."

"Yeah, cause that makes perfect sense."

"He enjoyed them."

"You know I appreciate everything you did for me, right?"

Kankri paused, staring at Jesse a second or two longer before he met crimson eyes. "You do?"

"Pretty sure I'd be dead without you." Karkat shrugged one shoulder before turning his eyes back to Jesse, hiding his face from Kankri's due to his slightly longer than normal hair.

"You're tough." Kankri drawled softly, digging a hand into soft black locks. "You've done well without me."

"Just saying. Don't think I never appreciated what you sacrificed for me." He mumbled, leaning his head into Kankri's touch.

"When you have a child as a responsibility you will do what you must to keep them safe. I know you know that."

"You taught me that."

A warm flush came to his cheeks. "I am glad I was able to teach you something. I know I was unbearable for a while."

"You did what you thought was best. It's all good, Kan."

Kankri hummed in acknowledgment, letting his fingers slip through silky hair while his claws scrapped gently against Karkat's scalp. They settled into silence for a while, just watching Jesse play with himself, enjoying the warm sun and peaceful air. It wasn't much later when new scents assaulted Kankri's nose and he turned toward the forest.

"We need some way for them to announce their presence." Karkat mumbled, not even bothering to look toward the forest, too focused on the hand in his hair.

"Do you think they've come to visit?"

"Nice way to be hopeful, Kan, but no." Karkat groaned and after leaning over to nuzzle into his brother's thigh and sat up, letting Kankri's hand fall from his hair.

"Oh."

"Jesse." Karkat called, gaining the young boy's attention. "It's time to clean up."

"Okay!" The boy patted down one more pie before he got to his feet and hurried off to the well to clean up in the water bucket beside it.

"John should be here soon. We'll have to drop Jesse off with Annabelle." Karkat moved to his feet and reached his hands out to his brother who took them and allowed the other to lift him to his feet as well.

"I suppose the end to our peaceful days has come." Kankri pondered, brushing off his pants.

"The whole point is for us to have peaceful days in the end. But yeah, fuck." He shoved a hand in his hair and bit into his lower lip, his eyes lingering on Jesse.

"Karkat." Kankri's voice was soothing as he grabbed his brother's wrist, tugging the hand from his hair and leaning up to nuzzle into his cheek. "I know you are worried. I am aware how your mind works. Have faith in what we can do."

"I do have faith but I'm not stupid enough to think we're going to get out of this unscathed." His eyes narrowed and his lips curled over his fangs in a snarl Kankri had not seen in a long time.

"I know that. We all know that." He sighed through his nose, his breath flowing over Karkat's cheek. "And this is a choice we have all made knowing full well that perhaps one if not all of us may not make it out in the same condition we entered. But we are strong. We may be few in number but we are strong."

"We will win."

Garnet met intense crimson. "Yes we will."

"Sollux!" Jesse's voice snapped them from their little moment and they turned just in time to witness the boy run off toward the two trolls making their way out of the nearby forest.

"Yo! Lil JJ." A grin spread across Sollux's face and though he looked more tired than normal, it still reached his eyes as he swooped down to greet the boy. "Sup?"

"Hi!" Jesse giggled and reached up to pat both of Sollux's cheeks.

"Hey there." The yellow-blood lifted a hand to pat soft blond hair.

"Hi Eridan!" Jesse greeted, being the polite little boy he was, grinning up at the seadweller beside Sollux.

"Hello, Jesse." Eridan greeted with a light smile but the exhaustion was just as clear on his face as Sollux's.

"Daddy!" Jesse grabbed onto Sollux's bony hand and started to tug him over to the two brothers while Eridan strolled behind. "Sollux and Eridan are here!"

"Oh joy." Karkat drawled, flicking his tongue against his fangs as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Least your kid is happy to see us." Sollux flicked his pronged tongue out at Karkat, a smirk on his lips.

"It's more about  _why_  you're here." Kankri confirmed, offering both trolls a gentle smile.

Eridan eyed Kankri, his eyes slightly narrow and his lips a fine line. "Wwe havve yet to say wwhy wwe are here."

"Pretty obvious." Karkat shrugged, watching as Sollux ruffled a giggling Jesse's hair. "John should be here soon. Then we can leave."

"Shit KK, can't we get a minute to rest?" Sollux plopped down on the ground beside Jesse and leaned his horns in the kid's direction. Jesse took the invitation and buried both hands in Sollux's hair, petting him.

"You two look exhausted. May I get you something to drink?" Kankri offered, his hand resting on Karkat's tense arm as he glanced between the two trolls.

"Wwater wwould be lovvely." Eridan spoke with a nod.

"One moment." Kankri gave Karkat's arm a reassuring squeeze before he went off to his cabin, disappearing inside to fix their new arrivals some fresh cold water.

Eridan and Karkat eyed one another after Kankri's depart and there was something in the seadweller's expression that made Karkat's shoulders relax. He sighed softly and tugged a hand through his hair. "You do look exhausted. What's up with that?"

Eridan relaxed at Karkat's tone of voice and joined Sollux on the ground, crossing his legs and letting his hands rest in his lap. "We've been pretty busy with preparations."

"More like FF is working us to the fucking bone." Sollux grumbled, his eyes closed behind his multi-colored frames as he leaned his head into Jesse's affections.

"I'm sorry I'm not there to help." Karkat moved to sit with them beside Jesse who was still standing with a smile on his face.

"It's not that bad." Eridan assured him. "She's just making us rethink evvery possible outcome and prepare for it. Also training." He reached over to pat Sollux's shoulder gently, a kindness in his eyes Karkat was not used to seeing the seadweller look at the low-blood with. "His psionics havve been draining him more than normal because of it."

"This is the last meeting, isn't it?" Karkat asked as Kankri returned with two wooden mugs full of cold water which Eridan and Sollux took with grateful nods.

"Yeah, FF will give us all the dirty details then." Sollux slurped at his water, shifting only so Jesse could plop down in his lap.

"Sol, you are obnoxiously adorable wwith him." Eridan commented, not even batting an eye as he sipped from his mug.

The yellow flush that came to Sollux's pale cheeks seemed to make Eridan's fond smile grow. Karkat glanced between the two of them and it only took him five seconds to realize what was going on. He groaned and rubbed a hand over his face while Kankri patted his lower back gently.

"Is this what happens when you've been black for so long?" Karkat mumbled.

"We didn't even fucking say anything, KK." Sollux sent him a glare that was quickly eased by Jesse's hands in his hair again.

"You don't have to. Fucking obvious as hell. What about Feferi?"

"Serket." They both answered at the same time with an equal amount of bitterness.

"Ew." Karkat grimaced, earning nods of approval from the two trolls before him. "So what, you two thought it might be fun to see what red was like?"

"Something like that." Sollux shrugged, too preoccupied with Jesse's petting.

"More along the lines of, wwe'vve alwways felt this wway. Just nevver had a chance to get it out. Until noww." Eridan's elegant cheek bones flushed royal purple and Kankri couldn't help but smile fondly at the two of them.

"Quadrant flipping is dangerous business." Karkat pointed out.

"You could always mesh them." Kankri added in. "Sharing quadrants is not that strange of a thing."

"My hate has turned into an affection for the shitface."

"Confusing as all hell." Eridan scoffed, rolling his eyes at his now matesprite.

"Well fucking good for you." Karkat shrugged, glancing to the side as Kankri's hand slid along his back in soothing circles. He was sure the older troll didn't even realize he was doing it considering his eyes were focused on Jesse.

"So what about you two then?" Sollux's eyes were closed, his head tilted in Jesse's direction as the boy continued to pet through short black hair like there was nothing else in the world he wanted to do.

"Pardon?" Kankri stiffened just slightly, his hand pausing against Karkat's back.

"Something's different." Eridan spoke softly, glancing between them as he sipped his water.

"I..." Garnet met crimson and the flush that crossed Kankri's cheeks made Eridan perk a perfectly sculpted brow. "We just are."

"Isn't that what John said?" Sollux tilted his head slightly, peering at the two of them over his frames. "That he and Karkat  _just are_. Is that a fucking human thing?"

"Not everything needs a makerdamn label, asshole." Karkat huffed slightly, crossing his arms over his chest as Kankri's hand went back to rubbing along his spine.

"It's a human thing." Eridan agreed with a nod, downing the rest of his water before sitting the empty mug aside.

Sollux abruptly released a deep sound that made Eridan flush a dark color and all eyes to fall on him. Karkat let out a gasp and suddenly grabbed Jesse by the waist, tugging the boy away from the yellow-blood that was now a little pile of goo on the ground.

"Jesse, what did I tell you about horn touching?" Karkat scolded, pulling the boy into his lap.

"Gamzee didn't mind when I touched his horns." Jesse answered innocently enough.

"Oh fucking maker." Sollux slurred, rolling onto his back as he blinked up at the sky. "That just happened."

"And his horns are so different!" Jesse grinned up at his father.

"Watch your son, Karkat." Eridan warned, reaching over to pinch Sollux's cheek with his claws.

"Did I flup up?" Jesse asked, worried as he glanced between Sollux and Eridan.

"Just, don't touch horns without permission, okay?" Kankri leaned closer to Jesse, over Karkat's lap and gave the boy a cheek nuzzle.

"Okay! I'm sorry." Jesse nuzzled into Karkat's chest, giving Kankri a soft smile.

"He's gonna demolish hearts." Sollux mumbled, still a little dazed.

"Kankri?" Eridan spoke, his brow furrowed as he looked the plump troll over.

Kankri sat up a little straighter. "Yes?"

"I'd like, wwhile wwe havve the time, to ask you about Cronus." His tone of voice left little room for discussion so Kankri nodded. "Last time wwe spoke, you mentioned he left and you havven't the faintest idea wwhere he wwent."

"I assumed he returned home."

"I'vve been thinking about it quite a lot." Eridan lowered his eyes, glancing over when Sollux's foot nudged against his knee. "Do you believve it may be possible that... He wwas taken?"

Kankri's eyebrows shot up. "Whatever do you mean?"

"Drones, Kankri." Violet met garnet, a darkness in them that sent a chill down the mutant's spine. "He ran off wwith  _you_."

"Oh." Kankri gasped, a hand coming to cover his mouth. "Kurl... He knew about our relationship. If he, If he did return home then... It would be entirely possible for..."

"Shit." Eridan hissed, his lips curling over his fangs. "My brother can  _not_ be that stupid."

"Cronus is a lot of fucking things but he's not that dense." Karkat cut in, shifting a bit closer to his brother to put a comforting hand on his thigh. "If he knew GHB was looking for him, which he had to fucking know, I doubt he'd just waltz right back into Alternia."

"So then wwhere is he?"

"Fuck if I know." Karkat sighed, clawing a hand through his hair.

"He's probably fine." Sollux pointed out, raising his hands in the air to stretch them. "Maybe he wanted some time alone. That happens you know."

"Papa." Jesse mumbled, his eyes raised to the sky over Karkat's shoulder.

The trolls looked up at the same time, catching sight of the blue figure in the air. John grinned down at them as he flew closer but that grin lessened when he noticed Eridan and Sollux. They were all on their feet by the time John landed and he didn't have to ask any questions to know what was going on. He took Jesse from Karkat without question and they all moved to prepare for their trip.

* * *

According to Eridan, Equius' bar had been compromised. No one was really sure how but Vriska said it wasn't a safe place to met anymore. That meant the GHB was on to them and that was dangerous all on its own. When they entered the city, Sollux led them through winding roads and avoided every drone they could, moving deeper into the city than John had ever been. He stuck close between Karkat and Kankri so he wasn't recognized for what he really was.

The new meeting place was a large old abandoned barn just on the outskirts of the city. It was nearly sunrise when they reached the place but Eridan assured them that was the time of the meeting. It was best to meet during the day when pretty much everyone else was asleep. They'd been doing everything during the day which explained why they were so tired all the time. Sleep was not a thing they were able to get much of anymore.

Waiting for them just outside the barred door of the barn was Equius, standing tall and intimidating. He greeted them with a nod as they approached and after inspecting each one, he opened the door for them.

"You're the last to arrive." He pointed out as he tugged open the door with strength only a high-blood produced.

"Wwe did come the farthest. Thank you." Eridan nodded at the blue-blood before slipping inside with Sollux right behind him. John's hand found its way to Karkat's and the two glanced at one another before they entered the darkness with Kankri trailing behind.

The barn was dark and the floor was solid as they moved through it. Eridan led them around a few poles before coming to the secret entrance; a hidden door on the floor with a strange latch. Equius had to open the heavy thing for them and they were greeted with a ladder that led downwards into darkness. That darkness turned into a dimly lit hallway that smelled of damp earth; an underground tunnel.

The door at the end of the tunnel was wooden and also had another heavy latch Equius had to open for them. The door opened up into a rather large well-lit room where they were greeted by familiar faces.

"Dave!" John exclaimed, his eyes wide and his smile straining as he launched into the air to greet his fellow hero standing against the wall with all the other heroes.

"Sup, John?"

All eight heroes stood together, near the door. Rose with Kanaya, Jane and Roxy together, Jake and Dirk huddled closer together than the others and Jade with Dave. They had all come and it warmed John's heart to the point that he couldn't stop himself from wrapping Jade and Dave up in a hug.

"I'm so glad you're all here."

"Wouldn't miss this for anything." Jade grinned, patting John's back. "This is going to be one hell of a time. Hi Karkat!" She quickly pulled away from John to wrap the troll who just walked up to them in a tight hug. "It's so good to see you."

"I can't believe you're all fucking here." Karkat mumbled, crimson glancing around at the heroes as he gave Jade a one armed hug.

"We're heroes. It's what we motherfucking do." Dave said with a shrug, perking a brow when crimson lingered on him.

"Feferi is so lovely too." Jade said as she pulled back from Karkat, grasping his hands in her own. "Oh, this is going to be worth getting her to the throne."

"You have no idea." Karkat spoke softly, a bit of relief in his voice.

Meanwhile, Kankri stayed back, letting John and Karkat have their time with the heroes. He spotted Gamzee off to the side with Tavros and the high-blood didn't waste much time in lumbering over to his former moirail. Even though they were about to prepare for a battle that might end with one or more of them injured or worse, there was a lightness in the air that made Kankri smile softly.

"Kan."

The deep sultry voice made Kankri's body prickle and when he shifted, terrified but unable to stop, and met deep purple outlined with black, he was frozen to the spot. A well-formed face, long and elegant with large eyes and plump lips; pointed ears sticking out from a mess of thick black hair and so tall that Kankri had to careen his neck to meet those eyes. And those horns, tall and spiraled much like Gamzee's only thicker and taller.

"Kurloz." The name was a mumbled word on heated breath. Garnet focused on those plump lips, free from restraint but surrounded with little dark scars that reminded the smaller troll of a time he wished he could forget.

Kurloz took a lumbering step forward and when Kankri didn't flinch away, he reached forward with long lanky arms and wrapped them around the plump troll. He was cool to the touch and Kankri could feel it seeping into the fabric of the light shirt he wore. He leaned into the touch, his claws coming up to grasp into black fabric tighter than necessary.

" _ **Look at all this motherfucking cuteness happening right in front of me!**_ " The voice was light with a slur to it that could be no one other than Mituna Captor.

The troll was small, just an inch or so shorter than Kankri with lanky thin limbs. He wore an obnoxiously yellow and black full body suit looking thing and his hair was just as thick and black as Kurloz's, covering his eyes from view. He bounced on his feet for a second beside the two trolls, Kankri's eyes wide, before he launched on them, tossing an arm around each of them and working his head between them.

" _ **Let Tuna in on the fun!**_ " Mituna exclaimed, a grin so wide on his face it looked like it hurt, revealing his dual-fangs for the world to see.

Kankri swallowed hard, his smile tense as he glanced between the two trolls. " _ **Hello, Mituna.**_ "

" _ **Wicked fucking sup, Kri!**_ " Mituna's grin didn't falter as he leaned forward and lapped his forked tongue over Kankri's cheek.

" _ **Tuna.**_ " Kurloz's voice sent a chill down their spines as his dark eyes glanced between them.

" _ **Hey, I missed him too fuckface.**_ " Mituna stuck his tongue out at Kurloz before he dropped back down to his feet, releasing the other two trolls.

" _ **I, Um, pardon me, I just.**_ " Kankri swallowed hard, pushing gently against Kurloz's chest so the high-blood would release him. Kurloz hesitated but removed himself from Kankri's personal bubble without further pushing. " _ **I did not expect to see either of you.**_ "

" _ **Well, Solfuck told me you were back and how could I fucking not show up?**_ " Mituna grinned, tossing an arm around Kankri's shoulder without a second thought. " _ **And when I told this tall fucker he absolutely insisted he come along.**_ "

"I..." Garnet glanced between Mituna and Kurloz, a small smile forming on his lips. " _ **It is nice to see both of you again.**_ "

" _ **Really? You ain't punched me yet.**_ " Mituna pointed out, leaning close to Kankri's face.

" _ **Why would I ever do that?**_ " Kankri reeled slightly, glancing at Mituna with wide eyes.

Mituna gave Kankri's shoulder a squeeze. " _ **I touched you.**_ "

" _ **You know full well I do not believe in senseless violence.**_ "

The yellow-blood snorted. " _ **You also don't believe in touchy touch**_."

" _ **It's been twenty sweeps, Mituna, I would appreciate it if you would not assume things about me any longer.**_ "

Mituna was quiet for a second before he leaned in closer to Kankri's face and brought up a hand to brush his bangs out of his eyes, revealing the two different colors and the strange colored scars around them. Each eye was a solid color, one blue and one red and the scars around them mirrored those colors. He had always been self-conscious about them so he kept his bangs in the way, so no one had to see them.

" _ **Who the fuck are you and what did you do with my Kri?**_ "

" _ **Tuna.**_ "

" _ **What? He's different!**_ "

" _ **Chill your shit, Tuna.**_ " Kurloz drawled slowly, like he had all the time in the world to speak the words coming from his scarred lips.

" _ **It's quite alright.**_ " Kankri assured his former sort of moirail. " _ **Things have changed, Mituna. But I am still Kankri Vantas. I'm just rather surprised you are happy to see me.**_ "

" _ **Hey, you left.**_ " Mituna let his bangs drop to cover his eyes, a frown coming to his lips. " _ **Just cause I was black for ya doesn't mean I didn't care.**_ "

" _ **You were black for Cronus.**_ " Kankri reminded him.

" _ **Was it Cronus?**_ " Mituna shrugged.

" _ **You hated what happened to Kurloz because of... me.**_ "

Mituna shrugged again as he pulled away from Kankri to reach up and pat against Kurloz's scarred lips. " _ **Big bro's all good.**_ "

" _ **I'm glad to see that.**_ "

" _ **You good too Kri?**_ " Mituna turned to him, that frown back on his lips and it looked completely out of place on Mituna Captor.

" _ **Yes. I am.**_ "

" _ **Awesome.**_ " He clapped his hands once before the spun around on his heel and shuffled off to Sollux who grumbled at spotting his brother.

Kurloz watched Mituna leave for a moment before those eyes were back on Kankri. The shorter troll shifted uncomfortably, glancing to the floor as he wrapped his arms around himself. It wasn't that he was uncomfortable being around Kurloz or that he wasn't happy to see him. He just wasn't sure what to do. He had not been prepared for this. He'd not expected Mituna to be happy to see him and he sure didn't expect Kurloz to still  _look_ at him like that.

" _ **I've been living in Albion.**_ " Kankri started softly, knowing the best way to deal with Kurloz was to talk. " _ **It was peaceful there and I never had to worry about something always trying to come kill me. Cronus left me a few sweeps ago. I was alone for a while but I was fine. Karkat found me not long ago. I've been living with him and his family ever since and, I've been happy. I'm glad to see you and Mituna are both fine.**_ "

"Kan."

His body flushed with warmth but he didn't hesitate to meet those beautiful eyes at the call of his name. Kurloz's expression was soft and when he reached out to place a hand atop Kankri's hair, his lips curled up just slightly.

" _ **I missed you too.**_ " Kankri mumbled softly, letting his eyes slip closed as the weight of Kurloz's hand settled in his hair.

"Kur! Babe!" Mituna called, gaining there attention as he stood beside Fereri, waving a hand in the air. "The queen wants a fucking word."

"There was no need to interrupt them." Fereri told him with a strained smile.

Kurloz said nothing as his hand dropped from Kankri's hair. Their eyes met for just a moment and it was enough to leave Kankri with a warm feeling in his chest. Kurloz lumbered away to his matesprite and his soon to be queen, ready to discuss whatever it was that she needed of him. Kankri was sure he wanted his father gone just as much as the rest of them.

Kankri could feel Karkat's eyes on him and when he glanced over, he met concerned crimson. Kankri gave him a reassuring nod, smiling at the way Gamzee gave him a wave as he leaned on Karkat. Seeing the trolls he had never truly felt lucky enough to call friends until now happy, made him feel happy. Things were falling into place and even though he was concerned about the events of their upcoming battle, he was happy for the time being to see everyone in high spirits.

Kankri thought to approach Feferi and greet her properly but she was busy with Mituna and Kurloz so he chose to wait his turn. He leaned against one of the walls by himself, letting his eyes drift down to the dirty floor. It was a strange place to have a war meeting but it was secretive and that was what mattered. He couldn't help but wonder how the bar had become compromised and if anyone had been hurt in the process. No one was missing from the last meeting so he was hopeful that they had worked around it.

He was bit too lost in his thoughts to notice one of the heroes break away from the others and approach him. He didn't notice until dark boots came into his line of view and he glanced up, garnet meeting his reflection in pointed goggles that made his body prickle like ice and his heart to leap into his throat.

"Hey." Dirk's voice was smooth, but there was hint of nervousness to it that made Kankri's eyes widen just a slight more.

"Hello." He swallowed hard against the tightness in his throat and his heart refused to calm down any amount, throbbing in his throat. He could feel his palms sweating as he curled his fingers up into fists as his sides.

"You look good." The blond pointed out, raising a finger-less gloved hand to tug at his googles, pulling them over his hair so Kankri was greeted with vibrant orange eyes. One was a bit duller than the other, with a light scar over it that brought back memories Kankri was not prepared for.

"You..." The troll swallowed hard against the dryness in his throat as a small flush curled to the rounds of his cheeks. He found himself unable to look away from those intense eyes that were soft with an emotion he couldn't read. "You do as well."

Dirk glanced back to his fellow heroes, three of which were watching him before he took a step closer to Kankri, blocking their view of the troll. Dirk was a good head taller than Kankri but they both knew all about how much of a height difference they had. His lips softened into a slight smile and his shoulders relaxed as he shrunk down slightly, trying to make himself seem less intimidating.

"How have you been?" Dirk asked, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck in a nervous manner that was familiar to the troll.

Kankri blinked up at the hero, his brow furrowing slightly in confusion though the red flush on his cheeks spread to his pointed ears. "I've... Been fine."

"Just fine?" He slipped his hands into the pocket of his pants, reminding Kankri that the hero was perhaps just as nervous as he.

"Better than I was, if that is what you are asking." Kankri tilted his head to the side, unable to look away from those eyes. "I assume you are aware I'm with Karkat again."

"I heard. Pretty great about that. Glad you're, um, not alone anymore." Dirk shifted awkwardly, from one foot to another and the lightest flush spread over his cheeks as he glanced away from Kankri's intense eyes.

"Hey, mate." Jake slipped around Dirk's side, a smile on his face that he greeted Kankri with. "Who's this?" Jake held out his tanned hand toward Kankri while the other slipped over Dirk's shoulder. "Jake English."

Kankri glanced between the two before he reached forward with a shaking hand to grasp Jake's large warm hand. "Kankri Vantas."

There was a flash of recognition in green eyes that made Jake's smile grow all the more. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Kankri."

"You know each other?" John asked as he stepped up to Dirk's other side with Karkat right beside him and Dave and Jade not far behind.

"Oh, yes, Dirk, do you know him?" Jake asked, a coy smile on his lips as he released Kankri's hand.

Dirk didn't say a word, only glanced to Kankri for a bit of help that the troll was unsure how to deal with. He wasn't sure what Dirk was willing to speak about and he didn't intend to bring up things neither of them wanted to be reminded of.

"We..."

"We're old friends." Dirk cut in, lifting a hand to tug his goggles back down over his eyes, hiding his vulnerability from everyone.

"Yes, old friends." Kankri agreed, his cheeks alit with heat as he quickly glanced away to meet narrowed crimson.

"Old friends my bulbus ass." Karkat hissed softly, his narrowed eyes flicking to Dirk.

"You never mentioned you knew a troll." John added in, tilting his head at Dirk in a confused manner.

There was a bubble of silence that filled the air when Dirk tilted his head away from John and the flush on his cheeks was more prominent than ever. Dirk Strider was blushing. He was fucking blushing. Strider's didn't blush. Well, Dave did but Dirk sure fucking didn't. Not really. Not like that.

"Oh my fucking shit." Karkat gasped, his eyes going wide and his lips forming a snarl. "He's the human you fucked, isn't he?"

"Whoa." John jumped, snapping his head to glance between Kankri and Dirk. "What?"

"Must you say that so loudly?" Kankri hissed softly, narrowing his eyes at Karkat as his flush spread down his neck and over his slightly visible ears.

"You're not denying it. Why the fuck aren't you denying it?"

"Karkat."

"Fucking-I asked you nicely, Kankri. Anyone but  _him_." Karkat growled, his lips lifting over his fangs.

"As a matter of fact, you asked me anyone but  _Dave_  and seeing as it was not Dave, I do not see how this is of any concern." Kankri stuck his nose up slightly, standing up straight and crossing his arms over his chest in a way that reminded Karkat of when he was younger.

"Still a fucking Strider."

"Okay can we just, turn back a little here?" John asked, feeling a bit of whiplash as his hand went to Karkat's nape, rubbing gentle circles to sooth him.

"Ah, yes, I would  _love_ to hear all about this." Jake nudged Dirk's arm, his smile more a smirk. "Or rather, I'd love to hear you share with everyone."

"You already fucking knew." Karkat sent Jake a glare that the hero smiled at.

"Didn't know he was your brother." Dirk answered honestly, his voice tight.

"As much I would prefer for my personal business to not be shouted about for everyone to hear, if you  _must_  know," Kankri turned to Karkat with an exasperated sigh, "Yes, he is the human I told you about but the point remains that it happened a long time ago and holds no amount of meaning."

"Ouch, bro." Dave snuck up between John and Dirk, giving his brother a good once over. "No meaning?"

"I didn't-" Kankri cut himself off, his eyes going wide as he looked at Dirk, noticing the way his lips tensed. "That is not what I meant."

"Serious though, you fucked a troll?" Dave, having no shame at all, spoke with a grimace. "And Karkat's brother to boot."

"First of all, that happened before I fucking came into the picture." Karkat hissed, trying to slip his way around John to get to Dave but the raven haired hero remained between them. "Secondly, the fuck do you mean 'you fucked a troll'? What's wrong with that?"

"Kinda gross, dude."

"Don't you start." Jade gave Dave a good slap to the back of the head as she slipped between Dave and John, putting more space between Dave and Karkat.

"Alright, that's enough." Jake sighed softly, his smile a little tense as he glanced between his fellow heroes. "Honestly, whatever happened between them is their business and I feel we are being very rude."

"Yeah, Jake's right." Jade agreed, grabbing onto Dave's hand with a good tug. "Leave them alone, Dave."

"I'm sure you can talk about it later?" John asked Karkat hopefully, biting his lower lip as his hand slipped down the troll's back.

Karkat huffed slightly but nodded in agreement. He then pulled away from John just enough to lean into Kankri's ear. " _ **Amazing, huh?**_ " He whispered and when he pulled away there was a smirk on his lips and Kankri was the exact color of his blood. "Alright, I'm good. Come on." Karkat slipped his fingers into John's hand and tugged the hero back over to Rose and Kanaya without a glance back to his flustered brother.

"Details are not things I need to know." Dave gave a shrug before patting his brother's arm and left with Jade, back over to the other heroes.

"I am sorry about that." Jake stepped forward, a kind smile on his lips as he dipped his head down to meet garnet. "That was my fault. I didn't mean to push. It's just so rare to see Dirk all flustered like that." He laughed softly, offering Kankri his hand again. "I've heard all about you, Kankri, and it really is a pleasure to finally meet you."

"Of course, Jake, tell him I've talked about him constantly." Dirk huffed, crossing his arms over his chest, his lips a fine line.

"Actually,  _you_  just did." Jake flashed his fellow hero a smile that made those pale cheeks flush in color. "See?" He laughed, a deep sound in the back of his throat as he turned back to Kankri. "Flustered. Don't see that often on him."

Kankri nodded, grasping Jake's outstretched hand with his own. "Perhaps we know two different sides of him."

"You've seen him flustered a lot?"

"Can we not?" Dirk sighed, rolling his eyes behind his goggles.

"Ah, time and place, gotcha mate." Jake winked at Dirk before he pulled Kankri closer with the grip on his hand and wrapped a warm toned arm around him. "You look happy, and though he has a hard time showing it, Dirk's glad to see you again."

Kankri nodded, his throat still dry but his heart filled with warmth. He never expected to see Dirk again. He had known back then that the male was a hero and had thought, with John now in his life, he might see him again but he refused to let his hopes rise. Especially after hearing from Karkat that Dirk was with Jake. But there was something warm about the way Jake looked at him and Kankri wasn't concerned with the things of the past.

"Excuse me, Everyone." Feferi's voice called over the room as she clapped her hands three times to gain everyone's attention. "I'd like to begin now, if we may; we have a limited amount of time."

The room filled with murmurs as everyone turned their attention to her, moving to form a crescent around her with Vriska at her side. Kankri stood beside Karkat with Kurloz on his other side. The heroes stayed together, starting with John next to Karkat and then going from there. Trolls and humans stood together, formed to defeat a common enemy.

Feferi's heart soared as she glanced around the room, her smile bright as she opened her arms in a welcoming gesture. "I know I have thanked all of you countless times but, I really am thankful. We would not have gotten this far without all of you." Her eyes landed on the heroes. "And all of _you_ , so brave and willing to fight for something that you do not have to. We appreciate it. We honestly to." She gave each of them a smile that was thankfully returned before she returned her attention to the room as a whole.

"Now, It is time to take our home back."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. That was a lot to take in huh? So let's just reflect here for a second. Karkat's accepting his feelings for John. John's on cloud nine because he's seeing Karkat accept those feelings. Kankri is just down right happy that people are happy around him. Sollux and Eridan are red now. Feferi and Vriska is a thing. Jesse is going to break troll hearts when he gets older. Kankri and Dirk fucked a few years after Cronus left him and neither of them really spoke about it to anyone. Jake already knew cause Dirk tells the dude everything. Kurloz and Mituna!!!! Mituna does not hate Kankri. Kurloz can speak again(thought you guys have no idea why he couldn't before) and he's downright happy to see Kankri. Does that cover everything? 
> 
> Oh and we still don't know where Cronus is.
> 
> Oh and Karkat's totally touched himself thinking about John.
> 
> So, I've never in my life written Mituna or Kurloz. In fact, I've never even read up to the alpha trolls. I've done research but I'm always nervous when I write a new character for the first time. I like to think I did alright. Mituna is fun to write and Kurloz, all I see is sexiness when I think about him so yeah haha. This was a really fun chapter to write!
> 
> Please be sure to let me know what you thought!! Comments are always appreciated! And remember, you can only kudo a chapter fic once but I appreciate every kudo!
> 
> So, you know what comes before the storm right? The calm. The next chapter, shit gets fucking real. No more fluff, no more innocent, no more oh they're all okay.(though everyone we love lives don't worry) Shit is motherfucking going down and I hope you are prepared. CAUSE I'M NOT! But it's all smooth sailing after that, I promise. 
> 
> Thanks for taking the time to read this long chapter! 
> 
> ~Addy~


	22. The Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while hm? Well, let me just say this is a chapter that I was not nearly prepared enough to write. Pretty sure I would never be prepared for this. This is a year in the making. The moment we've been living up to for a while and here it is. I'm exceptionally proud of myself. And I want to thank everyone for sticking by me this whole time. You guys rock! 
> 
> Mood Music [Here](https://youtu.be/liW-kWFiXtQ), [Here](https://youtu.be/H3maemHRKjw), [Here](https://youtu.be/l1iNQcgEj3w), and [Here](https://youtu.be/g9z4DWB7Iy8)
> 
> Artwork provided by my lovely [Moirail](http://jean-huh-kirschnickerdoodle.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Fair warning, this is the battle scene and there are warnings for blood and gore for a reason. Remember that. It's very fast paced so I hope I don't confuse anyone. Sorry if I do!
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> (P.S- Happy Birthday to my lovely little fan and friend, V aka Creatively Insane. This chapter (even in all its angst and blood) is dedicated to you! I hope this cheers you up a bit!)

_It's been a long time coming._

_And the tables turned around._

_Cause one of us is going_

_One of us is going down._

_I'm not running._

_It's a little different now._

_One of us is going down._

* * *

The forest was eerily quiet with only the sounds of the wind and the slight rustle of leaves drifting through the air every now and then. It was too hot for what they were about to do but there was no choice in the matter. The air was sticky with a heaviness that settled on their shoulders. They were highly aware of what they were about to do. They knew what could go wrong and exactly what those things could be. Death. Destruction.  _Failure._  They had only one chance at this. A chance they had waited sweeps for and if they fucked it up, everything would be over.

Karkat realized how stupid they all were as they hovered around one another, crouched down in the tree tops, using the branches for support while they waited for a signal that was inevitable. It was too late to turn back now but as crimson eyes glanced over the top of the wall that surrounded the castle, following along the drones that marched back and forth without a thought of their own, he was reminded how fucked they really were.

They were out numbered. It took at least two trolls to take down one drone and he could see five drones in the sunlight. His group consisted of himself and three other trolls. They were rightfully and thoroughly fucked. Which was why Feferi's plan consisted mainly of sneaking. She didn't want them to run in screaming and blowing shit up. She wanted them to slip in unnoticed and get to The Grand High-blood before they were noticed. It was a hopeful plan but no one truly believed it would work.

Karkat knew what his group was. Feferi had made it clear. They were the force. They were to barge in at the right time and cause the perfect distraction so she could get to The Grand High-blood. Her group was off somewhere, well-hidden and safe until the time had come. It was Kankri's job to find GHB and that made Karkat nervous. Because his brother wasn't near him. They were in separate groups and that made prickles run over his spine. He wouldn't know if Kankri was safe or not until the very end.

There was a shift behind him causing the short hairs on the nape of his neck to stick straight up and his heart to pound in his ears. It was only Eridan. He knew that. They were in formation. John was higher up in the same tree, keeping an eye out for the signal but Karkat was on edge. Adrenaline was pumping, ready to be let loose like a fucking landmine. His muscles twitched with anticipation and he knew his heart wouldn't stop pounding in his ears any time soon.

The sun was bright in the sky, giving them the advantage. Trolls slept during the day and they hoped, possibly, maybe, there would be less security wondering around the castle in the middle of the day. Crimson glanced up, catching a flash of blue as John shifted in his position, lifting up only slightly in search of something, anything. They had been waiting there too long. Was something wrong? Panic seeped into Karkat's blood immediately and he glanced to Eridan with a look of alarm.

The seadweller matched his expression for a only a second before his eyes narrowed and his lips curled over his fangs. He sunk down a little lower on the branch and tugged Karkat down with him. They were well-hidden from the drones but they never took into account that there would be drones wondering around the forest outside of the castle walls. The ground rumbled for a moment and there was a strange sound of things flying through the air before some bushes rustled and revealed what they were up against.

"Blustering bulgeshit." Karkat gasped softly, tugging his arm out of Eridan's grasp so he could drop to the ground effortlessly. He vaguely registered John floating down to his side as he approached their new arrivals.

"Yo." There was a playful smirk on Asher's face as he gave a salute, an arm thrown around Adairis' shoulders while the banshee floated above the ground.

"The fuck." Karkat whispered softly, his eyes narrow as he closed the distance between them.

Adairis just smiled; that smile that was all teeth and no lips. "Figured you'd need help."

"How did you even know?" John questioned softly, glancing over his shoulder when Eridan, Dave, Kurloz and Equius joined them on the ground. "They're with us." John explained when Eridan stepped up to his side, violet eyes glaring suspiciously at the two inhuman creatures. "They're friends."

"Spirit world talks." Adairis answered with a shrug. "You mentioned something about being outnumbered. Thought we could help." A smirk curled to his lips, making Kurloz let out a faint growl as the banshee turned toward his lover.

"Right." Asher shrugged one shoulder, removing himself from Adairis as he stepped to the side.

The ground rumbled once more and they watched in awe and suspicion as wisps shot about in the air from seemingly no where. The wisps shot down into the ground and everyone had to steady themselves as it shook. The sound of bones cracking echoed through the forest before  _they_  shot up.

Hollow Men

Hundreds of them.

Karkat could see them lumbering around the trees far behind Asher and Adairis. They were an army. A perfect destructible army of Hollow Men that Asher was willingly offering up to help. Karkat's hand on Eridan's wrist made the troll stop growling and it took Equius a moment to convince Kurloz everything was fine and they weren't fighting yet.

"You can't be serious." Karkat mumbled.

Adairis blinked in surprise, pausing in the air. "Is this bad? I thought you needed an army behind you."

John glanced between Adairis and Karkat before lifting in the air and closing the distance, wrapping the banshee up in a hug Karkat was probably too worked up to give him. "Thank you."

The banshee laughed softly, patting John's back with a smile. "Of course."

"Wwhat the evver-bloody-fuck  _are_ they?" Eridan hissed softly, his claws wrapping around Karkat's hand as a sort of anchor.

"Hollow Men." Asher answered, rolling his shoulders and grinning like a proud father. "Canon fodder, really. Numbers and intimidation."

"You really don't have to do this." Karkat bit into his cheek, his heart running too fast for his brain to keep up with.

Adairis pulled away from John effortlessly and crossed the distance in the air. He gave Eridan a weary glance before he reached down to cup Karkat's face in his hands. "We're offering. You can decline, of course, but you are our friend. If John's allowed to help, I'd like to think we are as well."

"Got some brave balls." Dave spoke up, slipping up to Karkat's other side with a slight smirk on his face.

Adairis' eyes brightened as he floated over to Dave. "Strider."

"Adairis."

"You kiss him and I'll end you." Asher called.

Adairis managed to flip off his lover and kiss Dave's cheek all at once and without an ounce of regret.

"Fucking hell." Dave rubbed at his cheek, his brows furrowed around his goggles. "Don't use me assholes."

"An army of the undead." Eridan interrupted, glancing around Adairis to get a good look at a Hollow Man lumbering by a tree. "No fucking wway they'd expect that."

Adairis' lit up, his eyes sparkling as they met Eridan's. "I like the way you think."

"I believe Feferi should be informed." Equius spoke up.

John's eyes widened slightly and he shot up in the air, pausing at the top of the tree line and casting his eyes in the direction their signal was supposed to come from. He saw nothing and with a deep breath, he relaxed, knowing they hadn't missed it yet. But still, what was taking so long? He was starting to become concerned.

"Little late for that." Eridan shrugged. "The heroes should knoww they're not our enemy right noww."

"We'll have to see." Karkat nodded in agreement and then offered Adairis a soft smile. A way of saying thank you that he wasn't capable of saying at the moment.

"You're welcome, tart." Adairis planted a kiss to Karkat's cheek and left the troll a little stunned as he returned to his lover's side.

"So, do they just fucking followw us or wwhat?"

"They follow me." Asher spoke softly, planting his hands on his hips. "But, they know who is the enemy and who isn't."

"So-"

"Positions!" John suddenly snapped, his eyes going wide at the cloud formation that suddenly formed in the sky over the castle. A result of Rose's magic but it was the signal they had been waiting for.

"It's time." Karkat nodded to Adairis and Asher before they all shot up into the trees, ready to storm their way into the castle if they had to.

* * *

There was a dark crushing feeling that had settled into Kankri's chest a few days ago and it had yet to dissipate. As he walked along with his group, he could feel the small amount of skin he had exposed to the musky dank air prickle in anticipation. His claws tugged at the sleeves of his red sweater, catching on the fabric as he tugged it into the palm of his hand. There was a heavy weight around his waist he was not used to and he prayed, with all his might, that they were a weight he would never have to use.

The depths of the castle were dark to the point that Jade was holding onto Jake who had a soft hand on Kankri's shoulder so he could lead the humans through the darkness. Mituna was wondering about in front of them and Terezi was striding without a care in the world. The dark was of no concern for her. She followed her nose but every time a turn came, she waited for Kankri to mumble out a direction before she continued on.

Truth be told, they were unsure of their true role. Feferi had convinced Kankri it was his job to come from the bottom. To find the best route to The Grand High-blood's chamber that would be least noticeable. Kankri thought going through the dungeon was their best bet. It was how he escaped the castle once before and as his eyes scanned over the crumbling stone walls, he desperately wished he had not been separated from his family.

He was not prepared for this. He was certain none of them were prepared for this. Kankri was never a fighter and though he knew how to fight, he outright refused to. There was always a better option, or so he thought. But in this case, he knew there was no other choice. Feferi had to killed GHB and that left a sick feeling in the pit of Kankri's stomach that he refused to acknowledge. He just hoped that when the time came, he didn't have to witness the action.

"You seem tense." Jake's voice was a soft whisper near Kankri's ear making the hair on the back of his neck stand up. "Not to make light of the situation, but we're alright for now I believe." His large hand gave Kankri's shoulder a gentle squeeze.

Kankri swallowed hard and nodded though he knew the hero could not see him. There were a lot of things he could think about that had nothing to do with what they were about to go through. He could focus on how Dirk looked at him every time the blond hero thought the troll wasn't looking. Or how Jake glanced between them with a strange look that left Kankri's belly feeling warmer than before. Or how Karkat seemed determined to make everything all right even if it meant sacrificing himself.

Kankri's mind came to halt at that thought. It was true, after all. Karkat had never come out to say it, but Kankri knew his brother. He knew that look in his eyes and the way he hugged him before they split off. Karkat would sacrifice himself if it meant they would win. Kankri could only pray that John would be there beside him; to stop him and protect him.

A soft hiss came from Kankri's lips as he launched forward to grab onto Mituna and Terezi, stopping them from turning the corner. They all froze as Kankri gently pushed them behind him so he could turn the corner on his own. There was a soft glow coming from the end of the hallway and as he walked toward it the air shifted into something a bit more damp.

"Bloody hell." Jake hissed softly, coming up beside Kankri as they neared the iron vent in the ceiling where the glow was coming from. "What is that?" Jake furrowed his brow as he covered his nose with his hand.

"It smells like death." Jade commented softly, her face lacking color as she used her sleeve to cover her mouth and nose.

"It is death." Terezi licked at the air and shivered, moving to hug herself as she took another step closer to Jade.

"Kri." Mituna slipped around Kankri, his fingers curling around the mutant's wrist in a comforting way. "You sure about this?"

"If we go through the dungeons we have less guards to deal with. It's the way Kurloz took me out of the castle." Garnet stared at the iron gate for a few moments before he grabbed onto Jake's arm. "Would you mind lifting me?"

Green widened a fraction but Jake didn't object. He bent down, slipped his arms around Kankri's thighs and lifted the troll up onto his shoulder. It was effortless really and Kankri was reminded that he was dealing with a hero.

Mituna snickered softly. "He touched your butt."

Kankri frowned, a flush coming to his cheeks as he settled on Jake's shoulder and reached for the vent. "Not the time or place, Tuna."

"Sure changed, Kri."

Kankri choose to ignore that jab as his fingers wrapped around the iron bars. He gave a solid push upwards, using Jake as leverage and popped the gate up out of its place. The sound echoed through the dungeon and he remained still a moment longer before he was sure they had not been caught. He shifted on Jake's shoulder and moved the gate to the side of the dirty floor. He pulled himself up through the hole and after a quick glance around the hallway, he found them to be safe.

Claws dug into the dirty stone ground as Kankri hauled himself through the hole with some help from Jake. Once on his feet again, he was greeted with a hallway of empty cells lit by torches. At least they could finally see properly again. He dropped to his knees over the hole and reached down to help the next person up. Jade came first. Her hands were soft in his own and with a little help from her magic he had her up on the floor with him.

Terezi was next with the help of Jake and then Mituna. Jake came last all on his own. He pushed off the floor and with a decent jump he grabbed onto the edge of the hole and pulled himself up. They replaced the iron gate and it appeared as if they'd never entered through it.

"This way. The dungeons are almost like a maze, so don't wonder off. Considering it's so early I'm sure the only guard will be at the entrance. Follow the torches on the left side and they will lead us out of here." Kankri explained, giving everyone a nod before he started walking, leading their group.

"What is this place?" Jade asked softly, hugging herself in the same way Terezi was. They stuck beside one another feeling a strange comfort that they were not alone.

"I hate this place." Mituna mumbled, pressing into Kankri's side as they walked together through the maze of hallways. His face was crunched up and through his eyes couldn't be seen, Kankri was sure they were glancing about frantically.

"This is where... every troll who goes against GHB ends up." Kankri explained softly.

"It seems empty." Jake supplied.

"Trolls do not go against him much anymore."

"Until now." Mituna hissed softly.

Kankri nodded in agreement and allowed Mituna's fingers to wrap around his own. Mituna was not a fighter. Hell, he wasn't even the angry sort of troll. He preferred to be having fun and making the best out of everything. He didn't belong there and Kankri knew that. Mituna felt out of place so he offered the troll his hand, hoping it made him feel at least a bit better.

The stone walls were old and crumbling with moss and mold. The air was bitter and slightly moist with the scent of death and sadness circling around them. Their footsteps echoed through the halls and though they were safe for the time being, each of them was on guard, ready and willing to fight for their lives.

Jake found his eyes trailing to the side of Kankri's face as he walked a step behind the two male trolls. The golden light of the torches cast shadows over the troll's face but Jake could see the worry written into his skin. Green trailed down his small shoulders till they rested on the weapons resting on those plump hips. He recognized them, of course. He had made them after all.

Only hours ago he had witnessed John give them to the troll.

Kankri had outright refused at first when the windy hero offered the two pistols he typically kept attached to his hips. The very same pistols Jake had given the raven haired hero a long time ago. Kankri had declined them because he refused to fight in the battle. He didn't believe in violence but Jake witnessed Karkat pull his brother to the side and after a seemingly heated quiet discussion, Kankri returned to accept them from John.

Though the duel pistols looked out of place on Kankri's hips, he held them perfectly well like he was always supposed to. Jake wasn't sure if the troll even knew how to use them. Guns were not a thing it seemed trolls used but Kankri had taken them anyway. Secretly, Jake looked forward to seeing what Kankri could do with them.

Abruptly, Kankri and Mituna came to a halt as if they hit an invisible wall. Mituna crinkled his nose and after a minute, he pulled away from Kankri to press against a cell. He stuck his nose between two bars and sniffed twice before he quickly pulled away and moved to the next cell.

"What is it?" Jake asked, closing the distance between himself and Kankri to lean down and speak softly.

"There's a prisoner." Kankri chocked out, his throat tighter than he expected. "Mituna will find them."

"We should free them." Jade spoke up.

"Not entirely the best idea." Kankri swallowed hard and found the warmth of his arm pressed into Jake's chest felt entirely too comforting. "It depends on their mental condition. Trolls lash out when they are hurt and scared."

Terezi sniffed the air and let out a soft hiss. "I smell berries."

Jade glanced at her with a perked brow. "Berries?"

"Blood. Blue, or purple. Violet maybe." The blind troll sniffed a bit more as she slipped her arm with Jade's, hooking them together.

That was enough of an answer to shut them up. They moved slowly, following Mituna has he checked each dimly lit cell. They turned down two hallways in the opposite direction of where they were supposed to be going and then once they turn another corner, Mituna was gone. A flush of panic settled in Kankri's chest and he broke away from Jake to search for his friend.

"Mituna!" Kankri whispered harshly. "Damnit, Mituna, I told you not to wonder off."

"Kankri!" The voice was loud, too loud and echoed through the walls, striking the mutant troll in the chest.

"Mituna." Kankri was frozen for only a second before he took off running toward the sound of his voice. He thought the worst. His friend had been captured. His friend was hurt and he would have to fight to get him back. He would do it. Of course he would do it for Mituna. Especially since he finally had his friend back in his life. He wasn't going to lose him again so soon.

Kankri skid to a halt at an open cell door and didn't even think to gauge his surroundings before he grabbed onto Mituna. The troll stumbled and fell back into the mutants arms. Kankri quickly checked him over, finding there was nothing wrong with him at all and the sense of relief that filled him made him tilt his head onto Mituna's shoulder.

"Oh my maker." Jade gasped softly, catching Kankri's attention.

He glance up from Mituna's shoulder to see what the fuss was about. A rock settled into the pit of his stomach and his heart pounded in his ears. Blood. Everywhere. Violet blood spluttered all over the walls of the cell and it was fresh. There was no denying that smell and that vibrant color. There was no troll in sight that the blood belonged to and Kankri found his legs shaking.

"Gotta find them, Kri." Mituna whispered softly, sounding more serious than Kankri was sure he'd ever heard the troll sound before.

"If they're alive." Terezi commented, sniffing the air. "That's a lot of berries."

"Let's go." Kankri swallowed hard as he grasped onto Mituna's hand and tugged him out of the cell. "Don't scare me like that again and don't wonder off."

"Okay, Kri."

* * *

Dark, musty, dirty and dank. It was his life; Had been for an amount of time he could no longer remember. How long had it been since he saw moonlight? Or the sun for that matter? Sweeps? Probably. It made more sense to be sweeps. Hell, it felt more like centuries but what was the point in keeping track anyway. As far as he knew, he could die in this place and it would not matter in the least.

Why would it matter?

Grand Asshole was just waiting for him to give up and die. It was almost all the asshole fucking wanted. The end of his life and yet, he wasn't willing to give it. He could never give a true reason as to why he refused to give up. He'd lost hope of getting out a long time ago. The cell was his home. The dirt was his bed and the pain was his friend. What more did he need in life? Fuck, it wasn't even a life anymore.

And yet...

Carefully, with the small amount of strength he had left, he pried open an eye. The torch just outside his cell flickered along the walls, casting shadows that made his heart leap. Garnet haunted him every where he went. No matter the pain, no matter the torture, garnet helped him through. He had no fantasies that he would see those eyes in person again. He knew his fate and he knew he had no one to blame but himself.

How could he blame anyone else?

He was the one to run away. He'd meant to return. He'd always planned on returning. He just... He needed some space, that was all. He had to think without those eyes on him. He had to clear his head and be sure of what he wanted.

And that had been his mistake.

He should have never left.

But, what was the point on dwelling on those things.

He'd spent sweeps already,  _he was sure it had been sweeps_ , beating himself up over the many many mistakes he had made in his life.

He was torn to pieces. Broken down. He was pretty sure he wouldn't ever be able to walk again and the taste of his own blood was as welcomed as water on his tongue. The pain was his friend. It was a daily reminder that he was alive. Still alive and driving that batshit asshole insane with every breath he took. That thought made him want to smirk in small victory.

Garnet gave him a reason.

It wasn't the best reason considering he knew he'd never seen him again. He knew either way, Kankri was better off. He'd always dragged that beautiful troll down and he knew it. Kankri was something special; something to be cherished and he wasn't worthy of that. Especially after what he did. How could he ever be worthy again? He wasn't and he knew it.

All he could do was sit in misery and wonder if he could ever be half the man Kankri always wanted him to be.

His eye slipped close as he imagined that beautiful face. It was blurred, from the years of separation but it was there and he always saw that face. It kept him going. He would never reveal where the troll was to Grand Asshole and that was enough for him.

But what was the point anymore?

Kankri was safe.

As long as he kept his mouth shut, Kankri was safe.

But he was alive.

And that meant danger for the troll he loved more than he was ever capable of expressing.

There was only so much a troll was able to take. Constant abuse, torture and hatred ripped someone to pieces and he wasn't sure how much longer his body could take it. He would fight to the very end but just because his mind wasn't ready to give in didn't mean his body was willing to listen.

Even now, he could feel his heart skip occasionally and his breathing was ragged. His chest hurt with each breath and anytime he tried to flick his fins, he could feel a new trickle of blood slip down his neck.

So, he thought of Kankri.

The beautiful, wonderful, understanding troll of his dreams. The troll he had once been lucky enough to hold in his arms and call his own.

Stinging came to his eyes but he ignored it as he thought of his once troll.

He thought of how that cute little nose crinkled up when Kankri thought he had done something inappropriate.

He thought of how those soft lips felt pressed against his skin, shyly but oh so perfectly because everything Kankri did, he did it perfectly.

Kankri was a perfectionist really and he had no qualms with that. Especially when Kankri demanded they repeat their sexual acts just to make sure it was right the second time. How could he refuse that face? How could he refuse those eyes and that bright heart thumping smile?

How... could he have ever refused Kankri period...?

His chest clutched as his head lulled to the side, knocking against the wall without care. Tears broke through his lashes to streak down his dirty face.

Mituna had told him something important a long time ago.

Sometimes, you never realize how much you really care about and love someone until you let them go. It had never been his intention to let Kankri go for good but...

He hoped Kankri was happy. He hoped the mutant troll had found someone who loved him completely and didn't abandon him like an asshole. He hoped Kankri smiled, that bright stunning smile he always did when he was truly happy and he hoped the person who made him smile like that, deserved it.

If he died in this cell, broken and alone, which he knew he would, as long as Kankri was happy, he could die content. Of course, he'd love to see that face for real one more time but he'd given up hope a long time ago.

He couldn't even remember what he did the day before. Probably the exact same thing he was currently doing. Thinking. Suffering and thinking about a time before that wasn't all that bad. A time he regretted more than anything leaving.

But he had happy memories to focus on when he was conscious enough to focus.

His head knocked to the side abruptly when footsteps echoed through the hallway, entered his cell and pulled him from his thoughts. Familiar panic and fear set in at the sound of those footsteps. Wasn't it too soon? He'd just been dragged out the day before, he was sure of that, or was it two days ago? He couldn't remember. Either way, it was too soon, wasn't it? He wasn't ready. His body couldn't handle another session. If they took him now he would... He wouldn't survive it and he wasn't ready to give up! Not now. Not yet. Just, one more day, please. One more day to imagine  _his_  face and remember how happy he was before.

One ear-fin twitched, sending a spark of familiar pain as the footsteps neared him. He could hear hushed whispers but his mind was panicking. Not now. Please. Too soon. Much too soon. Please. He wasn't ready.

He closed his eyes tightly and curled his hands into fists as they rested on the cold dirty floor and tried to even out his breathing.  _Not now please_ , he begged as his mind become obsessed with that one thought.

"That smell." Jake crinkled his nose as he pressed closer to Kankri, dipping his head down as they rounded a corner.

"It's fresh." Terezi commented.

"Shh." Mituna slipped out in front of them and crouched down, his back arched and his claws at the ready in front of him.

Kankri watched, garnet following Mituna's every movement in a calculating gaze as they followed behind him. Their footsteps echoed over the walls as they passed cell after cell. Mituna was focused on the job at hand, pausing at each cell to peer inside before he moved on.

As the footsteps drew near, panic set in even more. He wasn't ready. He couldn't do it. He couldn't handle it. He wasn't ready. He couldn't move and he couldn't run. He didn't have a chance to notice there were too many pairs of footsteps and too many voices that sounded all wrong. He could only focus on the fact that he was doomed. So fucking doomed and he didn't even get to say goodbye.

"Shit." Mituna cursed softly, coming to a halt in front of a cell. His hesitation brought alarm to Kankri but the mutant found he couldn't move.  _That smell._

"What's-?" Jake was cut off by the sound of Mituna shoving his claws into the lock of the cell and snapping it without effort.

The door swung open and banged against the wall, making the sound echo in the darkness. Mituna shot forward, falling to his knees and grabbing at the body propped up against the wall. "Kankri! Kankri!" Mituna called, his motions frantic as he grasped the body by the shoulders and shook the troll lightly.

_Kankri._  Oh, he knew that name. His breath hitched and the warm feeling of another's hands on his bare shoulders made his panic ease just slightly. Those shaking hands were warm. This troll was not a guard. He couldn't be. He was low-blood. Had to be.

"Damnit, Kankri! Get in here!"  _Mituna_  sounded panicked. Like something was wrong and he didn't know what to do about it.

When he managed to peek open an eye, he found his vision blurry but that mop of black hair was so familiar it sent a spark of heat through his spine. Mituna gasped, his fangs tugging on his bottom lip as he brushed his bangs away from his eyes to peer into the other troll's face. Blue and red were vibrant in his face. So colorful. So familiar.

"Cronus." Kankri's voice was light, like a whisper on the wind as he hovered at the open cell door. His hands shook violently at his sides and they could all see his shoulders shaking with an emotion he wasn't willing to set free. It was too good to be true. Too horrible to be true, as well. That couldn't be Cronus.

That troll laying there, propped against the wall couldn't be Cronus. How could it be?

Garnet scanned over the troll, taking in the sliver of violet eyes and torn ear-fins. His skin was dark, much too dark to be healthy and he was covered in blood. His own blood. He was bare naked and covered in marks that made Kankri's stomach lurch. Parts of his body were twisted in the wrong ways and if it wasn't for the fact that his chest was steadily rising and falling, Kankri would have thought the troll dead.

This was not Cronus. He was too broken, too damaged, too... wrong.

"Oh my maker, he's alive." Jade gasped and slipped passed Kankri quickly to join Mituna. She dropped down to Cronus' other side and grabbed at the bag attached to her hip. She started to dig through it until she found the vials she was looking for. She had been prepared for injuries but she knew she had nothing on her that could heal the troll completely. They needed Jane. But she could give him water and heal a few of the wounds that were still fresh.

"Mituna. Give him this. Slowly." Jade barked a gentle order, passing over the belly of water. Mituna took it with shaking hands and did as was asked of him. Gently, and ever so slowly, he titled the tip of the belly against Cronus' slightly parted lips. Water trickled down his chin, clearing away some dirt and dried blood but some managed to get into his mouth and the seadweller didn't need to be told to swallow.

Jade set to work with her vials, using potions and creams to rub over the few exposed open wounds she could find. The least she could do was stop some of the pain at least. She couldn't bare to to look at him below the waist because she was sure there was nothing she could do about that. They needed Jane. But Jane was with the soon-to-be queen and they had something important to do.

Cronus could feel warm hands on his body, willing to help and ease the pain. His mind was too foggy to fully recognize what was being done to him but he did notice that the thumping in his head stopped once the pretty green eyed human girl ran a sticky substance over his ear-fins. The water did wonders and once he was able to peek open an eye once more, he was struck to the core at the vibrant red he recognized immediately.

There he stood, lingering in the doorway like a ghost, garnet eyes wide and hands shaking. There was a human with him, lingering closer than Cronus thought possible and the look in those garnet eyes made his stomach twitch. He had to be dreaming. Of course he was. Because that face wasn't real. It couldn't be. How could it? It was all wrong. It was broken and sad. That wasn't the Kankri he remembered. Those eyes weren't supposed to be that dark and those lips weren't supposed to be curled down like that.  _It was all wrong_.

"We need Jane." Jade said with a soft sigh as she dropped her hands into her lap. "Do you know him?" She glanced up at Mituna who dropped the empty belly to the floor and leaned back, rocking on his feet for a moment before standing up.

"Kankri. Dickweed." Mituna stomped over to Kankri whose eyes were still locked on Cronus. "Get  _over_  here." He snatched up Kankri's arm and with a hard tug, pulled the troll into the cell.

Kankri prickled like a startled cat at the scent that filled his senses. It was real. It was all too real. He thought he had prepared himself for everything and anything that he might encounter in this castle but  _this_... He was not prepared for this.

"Cronus." Kankri gasped, his throat tight and his voice broken at the realization that yes, this was Cronus and yes GHB did this to him.

Cronus parted his lips but the only sound that came out was a soft cracked moan. It was all Kankri needed. The mutant troll moved in a flash, dropping down to Cronus' side and wrapped the seadweller up in his arms. Jade whispered a warning to be careful with him that was ignored by the mutant troll. He pulled Cronus against his chest, letting his head rest against his collar bone as his mind rushed with possibilities. He didn't even notice when Jake grabbed Jade and tugged her out of the cell, leaving him alone with Cronus for the time being.

" _Cronus_." Kankri mumbled past the tight lump in his throat and the weight against his body was all too real. Red tears slipped down his cheeks without his permission but he didn't have time to care about them. "Oh, maker, what did they do to you?" He mumbled, his eyes wide as he trailed his fingers through Cronus' dirty short black hair. "What did... Oh maker." He choked on a sob and collapsed against Cronus, pushing them both back into the wall.

Cronus willed his hands to move. He internally screamed at them to do something. Anything. Because this was Kankri, fantasy or not and he needed to touch him. His warmth was so real; It sunk into his bones and reminded him that this was his reality. Reality... Kankri, was reality. The only thing he could do was lean more into the other troll and let the wetness in his eyes fall freely.

_You found me._

Suddenly, the pain didn't matter anymore. Yes his lower back was killing him given the position he was being held in but it didn't matter. The arms around him were warm and tight, like a cage but oh so much better than that. They were strong, like iron bars but they were comfortable. When had Kankri gotten so strong? Cronus felt safe, secure and where he had always wanted to be. But Kankri was crying, he could tell with every harsh breath the mutant troll took and with the wetness seeping into the crown of his head. He didn't want Kankri to cry, not over him, not because of him. Never.

" _ **S...So..rry..** "_

" _Cronus_." Kankri broke, his entire body shaking violently as he held onto Cronus for dear life. His chest felt like someone decided to smash a rock repeatedly against his rib-cage and his stomach twisted as if a knife was trying to shove its way out of him. Tears fell, his eyes burned, his cheeks hurt and his lower lip was bleeding from how hard he had sunk his fangs into it to keep from sobbing. " ** _Don't... Not now. Don't apologize to me now. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I never came after you. I should have... Please, forgive me._**"

Cronus shook his head, though it was only a slight jerk of his chin and moved as close as he was capable, pressing his lips along the curve of Kankri's neck. He mouthed words against that healthy grey skin; words he wasn't able to speak at the time but would gladly repeat in the future. Over and over again if he had to. Until Kankri had forgiven him for ever thinking there was something wrong with them. There was never anything wrong with them. Cronus had sweeps to think about it. He had been wrong to ever leave in the first place and he hated himself for that. Not because leaving lead him to living a life of pain and torture, but because he had made Kankri cry. He'd never meant for that.

_Don't cry, babe. It's not your fault. Don't cry. I'm here, you're here, we're alive and together. Finally, I never thought... I don't deserve you. You shouldn't be here but... Fuck if I'm not happy to see you. Hold me, don't let go, don't leave me. I won't leave you again. Forgive me... Please forgive me. I wanted to come back; I planned to come back but he... You're not safe here. He wants you. He'll kill you. You have to go; you can't be here but please... Don't leave me._

"Shh, Shh." Kankri swallowed hard, closing his eyes against the tears to steel himself. " ** _It's okay. You're safe, C-Cronus. We have you._** "

"Kankri." Mituna called tentatively.

Something solidified inside of Kankri at that moment. Kurl did this. He did this to Cronus. He did this to both of them. He dared another look at the broken body of his once lover and something dark pooled in the pit of his chest. His teeth grit hard, his fangs scrapping along his lower lip as he snapped his head up and met Mituna's slightly worried multi-colored eyes.

"Take him." Kankri demanded, his voice a deep dark sound that made the yellow-blood flinch.

"Kay." Mituna came forward without a thought and dropped down beside his two friends. Carefully, Kankri passed Cronus over to Mituna, his heart clinching at the soft moans of protest the seadweller made. Mituna sat back against the wall, Cronus pillowed against his chest in a way that eased the pressure on the seadweller's lower back. He wasn't in as much pain as before but he felt wrong. Kankri was leaving him. He could feel it; he could sense it.

Kankri steeled himself but when he leaned toward Cronus's head and saw those once vibrant stunning violet eyes watching him with pain, he nearly lost himself once again. He took a deep breath and carefully slid his palm over a dark cheek, hooked his thumb under Cronus' chin and lifted his head slightly.

When their lips met, it was all wrong. Cronus' lips were dry, dirty and split and Kankri's lips weren't soft like they should have been. They were bloody and torn from him chewing on them. But the warmth and emotion was there and that was enough for the both of them. It was a silent promise that Cronus heard loud and clear.

Kankri's fingers lingered on Cronus' cheek for a moment longer before they were gone and he was on his feet. He stared down at Mituna and Cronus, his garnet eyes glowing in the darkness and his lips pulled back in a snarl. For perhaps the first time in his life, Kankri looked like Karkat. The anger in his expression was concerning but Mituna said nothing as his friend turned away from him and approached the two heroes.

"Kankri..." Jake reached out a tentative hand, his brow furrowed in concern at the look on the troll's face. Something was wrong. More wrong than finding Cronus in a cell nearly beaten to death.

The troll let out a hiss and closed his eyes, casting his head to the side for a moment. If there was one thing Kankri was good at, it was calming himself during intense situations. Anger flared along his skin in sparks and he thrived on it. His heart beat evened out and his breathing came in soft calm puffs and by the time he opened his eyes again to meet vibrant green, Jake was certain Kankri looked like a bloodthirsty creature.

Claws slipped over the handles of the pistols at his side and slowly, confidently, a smirk curled over plump lips. He snapped open the holster and grasped onto the pistols, twirling them in his fingers for a second before he steadied them in his hands. The fire in his eyes was enough to grab Jake's attention and he pulled his own pistols free from their holsters.

"Jade, Terezi, stay with them." Jake commanded with a soft smile.

"But Jake..." She glanced over to Kankri, concern written all over her face. Terezi lingered at the door for a moment but she made her way inside the cell, casting Kankri tilt of her nose before she joined Mituna and Cronus.

"I'd appreciate it if you would remain behind and tend to him." Kankri's face softened when he glanced over to Jade. "Karkat assures me you are someone I can rely on, and right now, I would like to do that. Mituna was never meant for battle anyway."

"Fuckface." Mituna mumbled in protest.

"Are you sure?" Jade glanced to Jake who gave her a nod.

"We'll return. Be safe." He opened an arm for her that she quickly entered, reaching up to give the hero a kiss on the cheek as he gave her a one-armed hug.

"Be safe." After Jake released her, Jade urged forward and planted a kiss to Kankri's cheek before she shuffled off to join Mituna with Cronus.

"I get that you're probably exceptionally pissed off, mate." Jake started, glancing back at the cell as the two of them started walking off. "But, I'm not sure-"

"I don't wish to be rude to you, Jake. You've been very kind and helpful to me thus far, but please do remember." Kankri paused, tilting his head up to give Jake a glare that could have burned his balls off if he let it. "This is  _not_ your fight."

Jake grit his teeth but offered a kind smile. "I am aware of that. But do you even know how to use them?" He motioned to the pistols secured in sharp claws.

The smirk that curled to Kankri's lips made the hero stumble in his step and his eyes to widen considerably. "Violence, I have learned, should never be the answer. But being what I am, who I am, sometimes, it really is the only answer." He lifted one of the pistols and twirled it in his fingers expertly. "They feel as if they were made for me."

Jake swallowed, perking a brow as they shuffled around a corner. "I'm starting to see why Dirk slept with you."

_That_  was not something Kankri had been expecting. His cheeks flushed lightly but the fire burning in his belly kept him moving forward. "It was for my stunning personality, obviously."

"Or the way you handle a weapon, mate. You could make a man melt with moves like that." Jake said with a harmless grin, giving Kankri's arm a nudge.

"Or make him wish he never crossed me." Kankri countered, tightening his grip on his pistols.

"Feferi has to kill him."

"I am highly aware of that. But that doesn't mean I can't get my fill in at some point." Kankri squared his shoulders and raised a pistol as he walked forward, making Jake perk a brow. "He won't get away with the things he has done."

"Of course he won't." Jake picked up his pace to keep with Kankri. "I just don't want you to do something you'll regret because-"

The sound of the pistol going off made Jake jump backwards and he barely had time to register that Kankri had rounded the corner and shot off his pistol. When Jake finally rounded the corner, he was greeted with a large lump that had probably been a living troll only ten seconds before, laying on the ground.

"One guard down." Kankri raised his eyes to the ceiling as his thumb clicked the gun. "They're moving. Can't you hear them?"

Jake glanced up. "It's time."

Kankri smirked softly and clicked his tongue against his teeth. "It's been a long time coming."

* * *

For perhaps the sixth time in the past twenty minutes, Karkat wished Kankri was with them. It was too quiet. The marble hallways were clear of any guards and that was slightly concerning. Kankri would know what to do about Kurloz, who was getting antsy. The quiet troll continued to lead them through the castle but every once in a while, he would suddenly turn away from the hallway they were about to go down and back track.

He kept his eyes hidden with his mass of hair but Karkat could tell something was wrong with him. Was he panicking about what they were about to do? Adairis and Asher were holding back the drones outside which gave them the time they needed to find The Grand High-blood. As far as they knew, they had yet to be noticed. Though the lack of inner guards was concerning. Sure, it was midday but there still should have been guards wondering about to keep face.

"I don't like this." Eridan mumbled, his eyes narrow as they backtracked once again, following where ever Kurloz was trying to take them.

"I don't smell anything." Equius stated.

"He knows what he's doing." John assured them, giving Karkat a comforting smile as he floated in the air above them.

"I fucking doubt that." Eridan hissed and nudged Karkat gently. "Do something."

"What the hell am I supposed to do? I'm not Kankri."

"You're a Vantas. You're good with the Makara's." Equius nodded at his own words.

Karkat let out a hiss but all it took was a look from John for him to give up and do as was told. He picked up his pace and jogged up to Kurloz, walking fast to keep up with his long strides. He tried to peer up into the troll's face but he had little luck with all that hair.

"Hey. Kurloz. What the fuck are you doing? Where are we going?" Kurloz didn't answer. He took a sudden turn down a wide hallway and the others had no choice but to follow. Karkat let out a hiss and moved faster to keep in step with the tall high-blood. "Seriously. Asshole." He reached out, grasping onto Kurloz's wrist with a warm vice grip. "We've been wondering around aimlessly for the past twenty minutes."

" _ **Avoidance.**_ " Kurloz whispered in Alternian, tilting his head to glance down at the hand Karkat had on his wrist.

"English please. You know, the kind that makes sense to everyone."

"Guards. Everywhere."

Karkat perked a brow. "You're... leading us around them?"

Kurloz bobbed his head in a nod as they rounded another corner. His hand shot up suddenly and grasped onto Karkat's tugging the troll against his side. Karkat objected for a second before Kurloz used his free hand to push open a large door and strode inside, pulling the mutant with him.

The throne room was huge. Ridiculously huge. The ceilings were triple the size of a normal ceiling with pillars following along the path that led to the thrones. It was a colorful room but Karkat didn't have the time to admire it as he was tugged down the red pathway toward the thrones.

"What the fuck, Kurloz?" He tugged against the high-blood's grip to no avail. "Let me go."

"Kurloz!" Eridan snapped, running to catch up with the two while John shot up in the air to get a good look-out position.

Kurloz's long legs dragged Karkat to the thrones before anyone could stop him and without a second thought, Karkat was thrown to the floor, his head nearly avoiding one of the arms of the main throne. For a moment, they just stayed there, Kurloz looking over Karkat while Karkat snarled up at him. Eridan paused behind them, not sure if he should even interrupt.

"It's where you belong." Kurloz mumbled softly.

"The fuck?" Karkat hissed and used the arm of a throne to pull himself to his feet. "You're not prejudiced too are you cause fucking hell we don't have time for this! You were with Kankri, weren't you?"

Kurloz tilted his head but didn't have the chance to respond.

"Who let a filthy motherfucking shit into my castle?" The voice boomed over the room, echoing off the walls and sending sparks of fear along Karkat's spine.

"Shit!" Eridan jumped up, moving to join Karkat by the thrones while Equius and Dave split off, tugging out their weapons for the ready.

For a moment, everything was silent. No one was sure where the voice had come from and John hovered in the air, glancing about and feeling with his magic for something,  _someone_ , who didn't belong.

"Shoulda fucking known." The voice was closer this time and made Karkat prickle.  _Behind him_. He spun around, pushing Eridan into Kurloz to put himself between his friends and this  _monster._  "Shame can't trust own motherfucking family but what's a brother to do, ya know?"

He didn't come out of the shadows. The room was too well lit for shadows. He just  _appeared_  as if he had been there the entire time and perhaps he had been. He was looming, as big as drone and as terrifying to boot. Make-up covered his face, though it was smeared and it reminded Karkat of when he had found Gamzee again, broken and covered in clown make-up that the humans had forced upon him. Those horns were too tall to be possible but there they were, large and spiraling into the air as if they belonged there. His hair was thick and a mess, but pulled back in a half-ponytail sort of thing. His face was handsome, despite his personality. As was the Makara way. The Grand High-blood was a handsome motherfucker but he was too crazy to deal with. And he was going  _down_.

Dark purple eyes landed over the trolls and heroes who decided to invade his castle. Slowly a smirk came to his face, revealing sharp fangs that spread ear to ear. It was terrifying and suddenly Karkat was sure they had fucked up. He wasn't supposed to be  _here_. He'd been expecting them. They'd been caught and it was too late to warn anyone. The Grand High-blood raised a large hand and snapped his fingers, the sound echoing over the large room.

Guards appeared from thin air and it was chaos after that. Kurloz was grabbed by two of them while Eridan avoided them and ran to join Equius, ready to fight their way out. Dave joined John in the air, holding onto a pillar as he hung off it like an animal. Guards had them cornered in the air with them which they had never expected. GHB really had been expecting them and apparently knew their tricks. Someone had leaked the information to him. They had to.

"Pretty little filth-blood." GHB purred softly, tapping his claws against his fangs as he approached Karkat who backed away slowly, crouched down and ready to attack if he had to. No guards bothered to hold him back; they were too busy keeping Kurloz contained and dealing with Eridan, Equius, Dave and John.

Karkat's heart pounded in his ears and though fear nearly struck him still, he reached to his sides and tugged his sickles free. He steeled his face, grit his teeth and raised his sickles that felt at home in his hands. GHB smirked at his opposition, like a cat ready to play with a mouse. Karkat knew he was fucked. He stood no chance alone against GHB but he would die trying to protect his friends if he had to.

"Precious little filth-blood." GHB murmured, his lips twitching in a smirk before he was gone.

"Shit." Karkat cursed and spun around just in time to get shoved onto his back, a large hand around his neck and violent purple eyes in his face. GHB was heavy atop him and his claws dug hard into his throat but he had his crossed sickles pressing just as hard into the high-blood's throat. He could see a trickle of purple slide along one of the blade's but there was insanity in those eyes that made Karkat realize he was not making it out of this alive.

The sharp loud sound of two pistols going off echoed through the room, causing slight pause as the bullets sunk hard into the large shoulder of The Grand High-blood. The troll barely moved, only flinching at the bullets that settled into the muscle of his bicep and made purple trickle ever so slightly. Karkat stared with wide eyes as the hand around his throat loosened and those purple eyes shifted to the side; venom within them that could kill a hundred men.

Kankri panted softly, still holding the duel pistols in the air, aimed at the troll on top of his brother. Jake stood at his side confidently, his pistols raised as well but aimed at the guards turning toward them.

For a moment, the world seemed to freeze in time. Karkat watched in slight fear and concern at the look that came over GHB's face. The tightness of his smirk softened ever so slightly and the fire in those eyes diminished enough for Karkat to take notice. But then it all vanished along with the large troll.

"Kankri!" Jake called, tensing as he pressed into Kankri's side, ready to protect the troll if need be.

Kankri remained still, a strange look on his face as he watched the high-blood come at him. He calmly fired off two more shots, hitting a shoulder and a thigh before spinning the pistols in his hands, clicked them and launched into the air, avoiding an attack from GHB. The high-blood let out a snarl so loud it could be heard outside the castle and he followed Kankri into the air, pushing off the ground so hard that it shook.

"Motherfucker get back here!" GHB hissed, reaching out with his claws toward Kankri only to get shot in the hand once more. He was healing faster than Kankri could shoot him but it didn't matter. He was a distraction. That was what he had always been meant to be.

"Kankri!" Karkat called, getting to his feet as he rubbed at his neck. His voice cracked but he didn't care. Kankri was in trouble and there was little time to do anything about it.

Kankri cursed softly when his back connected with a pillar and he was smashed against it with the hard large body of the King of Alternia. He shoved against him to no effort and his head spun when it was suddenly grabbed by large claws. The world was a blur before it was nothing but pain as his head was shoved hard into the marble floor, the pistols spinning out of his hands at the shouts of his friends.

"Gotcha." GHB laughed, a lewd belly deep sound as he bent over Kankri, his hand gripping the mutant's head tightly, smirking at the blood that streaked from soft black hair. "Knew you'd motherfucking come back. Always do. Always did." His smirk faded slightly and it took every ounce of concentration Kankri had to recognize the look of betrayal in those purple eyes. "Ain't no one get away." He hissed, his eyes darkening as he leaned down toward Kankri's head. " _You're mine, motherfucker._ "

"Y-you'll die..." Kankri spit out a clot of spit and blood, earning a bigger smirk from GHB. "For what you did to him." His teeth still clattered from being shoved to the ground. He'd had much worse done to him by the hands of this man. He could handle it.

The smirk that spread to GHB's face was all fangs, going from ear the ear and taking up almost his entire face. He was the least troll-like creature Kankri ever had the displeasure of knowing but he stuck to his word. GHB would die today.

"Revenge, ey? Think you all motherfuckers are strong enough to take me down?" He snorted, turning his nose up at Kankri as he stood up, replacing his hand on Kankri's head with the heel of his boot. "Bringing filthy humans with you." He hissed, his eyes locked on John and Dave on the other side of the room who were busy dealing with well-trained guards.

There was no warning for what happened next. One moment, GHB was standing there over Kankri, looking ready to crush the troll's head beneath his foot and the next, he was blur, flying through the air and smashing into a throne, crushing it completely beneath his weight and the weight of another. The sound of snarling reached Kankri but his head throbbed and he was thankful to whoever thought it a good time to save him. He coughed deep in his chest and clutched at his head, feeling the sticky substance of blood within his hair. He'd had much worse.

"Fucking hell, Kankri." Karkat hissed, sliding to his knees beside his brother and quickly grabbed at his head to inspect. "You could have been killed."

"He can't kill me." Kankri informed his brother, grateful to see Karkat was less harmed than himself.

"Sure fucking looked like he was going to." Karkat grumbled, using the sleeve of his shirt to rub away the blood from Kankri's forehead.

"Nah! Let the motherfucker have at me!" GHB's voice boomed over the room as he threw his arms open, the manic smirk on his face making the guards who were on their way to help him pause in their step.

Gamzee snarled as he got to his feet, his eyes glowing and his fangs snapping. The rest of Gamzee's group was stuck fighting the guards at the only entrance to the room with the help of Eridan and Equius.

"Don't do something stupid, asshole!" Karkat called to Gamzee, earning a slight smirk from his former moirail.

"Karkat." Kankri's voice was soft as he grasped onto his brother's hand. "Let him."

There wasn't anything anyone could do anyway. Gamzee had set his mind and there was no one to stop him. Not really. Kurloz watched from not too far away, fighting against the guards holding him down in an effort to help his brother. But he was weak and he knew that. If anything, he wanted to get up and go to Kankri. After a slip of a moment, he tugged free from the guards, slicing their necks with his claws before taking off toward Kankri and Karkat.

"This is bad." Karkat mumbled, slipping his arm around Kankri's waist so they could raise to their feet. Kankri's pistols, the ones John had lent him, were no where to be seen and Karkat could hold only one sickle in his hand as he held onto his brother with the other. Kankri was wobbly on his feet, his head feeling like it wanted to explode and his vision coming in and out from darkness but he was grateful for his brother's help. "He knew we were coming. He fucking knew, Kankri."

"Kan." Kurloz came to Kankri's other side and easily took the troll from Karkat's grasp. Kankri took his support but there was a fire growing within him that he wasn't ready to let down.

"Protect him with your life." Karkat demanded, pointing one sickle at Kurloz before he turned toward the high-bloods fighting by the thrones. He was torn between helping his former moirail and staying at his brother's side. He was sure Kankri was safe in Kurloz's care but he wasn't sure what was going to happen.

Crimson searched for blue and froze on the hero who was shoved onto his back by a guard. Dave was there to help, slicing off a head without a second thought. John was back on his feet, his hammer in his hands and determination on his face. There were too many guards. Too many for them to handle and they would be screwed if GHB called in the drones. He could see the sweat trickling down John's neck but the hero kept going, taking down every guard that came at the two of them. He wouldn't give up and neither would Karkat.

"Ha! Downright pathetic, lil bro." GHB chuckled, shoving his foot into Gamzee's chest once more. Gamzee let out a strange sound and it urged Karkat forward. Gamzee never stood a chance against his father but Karkat gave his former moirail props for trying. "Next!" GHB called as he turned on Karkat, that manic smirk still on his face. Purple blood, not his own, spluttered of his face and it made Karkat's blood boil. There were specks of red on his claws and that made the grip on his sickles tighten. "Filthy fucking mutants." He hissed, glancing at Kurloz and Kankri for only a second before he let out a loud snarl.

"Don't think so!" John shouted, appearing in front of Karkat like a shield. "I think it's our turn."

Karkat's eyes bulged and he grabbed onto John's hood with the tip of his sickle. "Don't you even fucking think about it!"

"I got this, Karkat." John assured him, sending the troll a tender smile over his shoulder. "Have to protect you after all."

"No you don't!"

"Eh." John shrugged, adjusting the hammer on his shoulder as his face softened. "Can't just stand around doing nothing."

"Flying piece of filth." GHB grumbled, flicking his claws at John to gain his attention.

"Hero, actually." John smirked softly and lifted into the air, swinging his hammer around till it was in the ready position. "Let's do this, King."

Something flashed in GHB's expression but there was no time to analyze it. He was gone for a split second before he knocked into John, forcing the hero back onto the ground. Karkat moved to help but he was snatched back by his brother. Karkat snarled but stayed here he was in the arms of his brother who was using him for a bit of support while Kurloz went to tend to his own brother. For some reason, the guards left them alone and Karkat was done fine with that. What he was not fine with, was witnessing his hero fight their biggest enemy.  _This wasn't his fight._

"Karkat." Jake's voice was light as he came to Karkat's side and carefully slipped an arm around Kankri's waist, taking his weight. "Go on."

"This isn't your fight." Kankri argued, pushing against Jake's chest. He was released easily enough but he stumbled and collapsed to the ground, his hands going to his head immediately. The world was spinning, his head was throbbing and he could barely register what was real and what wasn't.

Karkat moved after his brother but Jake dropped down, grasping Kankri's head in his hands. "I've got him, Karkat. John needs you." He spoke to the younger Vantas before he dipped down closer to Kankri's face. "He wouldn't want you to do this. I know what you're doing. Don't do this Kankri."

"Kindly shut the fuck up." Kankri hissed, wincing at the pain in his head as Jake ran nimble fingers over his hair. "I know what I'm doing. He won't kill me. He'll kill everyone else he has to deal with but he won't kill me."

"You don't  _know_  that." Jake pressed.

"I  _do_ know that. He's not capable of killing me. The tiny bit of a heart he has won't let him." Kankri reached forward, grasping onto the lapels of Jake's hero garb. "I know what I'm doing."

"Sure looked like he was going to try." Dirk dropped down beside Kankri, keeping his hands to himself as he inspected the fresh blood seeping from Kankri's head. "Still could. You're fucked up."

"I'm fine." Kankri assured, glancing at the blond with a surprised expression.

"This is ridiculous!" Karkat snapped, raising his voice as he turned toward John and GHB who were locked in battle, hammer and claws all over the place. "Kankri stop being an asshole and let them help you. He fucked you up.  _He was trying to kill you_."

That struck home for Kankri and his eyes closed once again as his fingers dug into his bloody hair. "I can't do this."

"No, you can't. You're not a killer." Dirk assured him, slipping an arm around his shoulders and then under his legs and effortlessly lifted the troll up, bridal style. It made Kankri's head spin but he felt secure in the arms of the hero. Jake moved close, whispered something in Dirk's ear that no one could hear and that seemed to set something on fire in Dirk.

Karkat snarled at the guards who dared to put themselves between him and John. Dirk was there. He knew what that meant. It meant Feferi was somewhere close, waiting for her chance. It was time. This was it. Their cover was blown and all they could do now was fight their way into a chance.

With a hiss, Karkat raised his sickles at the ready, a smirk on his face at the guards that charged him. He was too fast for them. By the time a sickle was around their throat from behind there was nothing they could do but accept their fate. They didn't even have a second to consider it before Karkat sliced along their throat and moved on to the next guard who dared to face him.

The sound of John's hammer flying through the air and smacking into a pillar brought a tenseness that could be cut with a knife. Claws were in his shoulders but it was the chance John had been waiting for. Quickly, he tugged the dagger Karkat had made him from his belt and sliced it up the GHB's arm, causing the troll to let out a howl of pain. He was released and as he lunged forward to shove the thing into GHB's throat, he was stopped by large hands fisting around his neck and shoving him to the ground, his head hitting so hard he could see stars.

Drone. It was a drone. Slight fear spiked along John's skin at the realization that a drone was holding him down by the neck. Then there was Dave, elegant as ever coming out of no where and shoving the point of his sword hard into the neck of the creature. It stumbled to the side, freeing John so he could shoot up in the air but it wasn't enough.

GHB stood still for only a moment before he unhinged his jaw and threw his head back. The sound that came from his throat sent chills over the room and made all the commotion freeze to a halt. The sounds of metal against metal ceased and as Karkat shoved another dead guard to the ground, he glanced up in time to see the Drones come out of the woodwork.

Dread settled over the revolutionaries. The drones were not something they were completely capable of handling. They had planned to have it all done and over with before the drones became involved but it was too late for that. The guards back away, knowing their time was up and let the drones take over.

"Give me your pistol, Jake." Kankri demanded, his voice emotionless as he eyed the drone coming their way.

"Kan-"

"Give it to me please!" He held out his hand, not caring that he was being held by Dirk. "You're going to need me."

Dirk and Jake glanced at one another before nodding in agreement. Jake passed Kankri one of his pistols and once the cold metal was in the troll's hand he jumped out of Dirk's arms as if nothing had happened to him. He motioned for the two heroes to follow him and they did so with question as he moved quick and fast, calculating and ready, as if he'd fought a drone before. Which he had. Many of them.

"Just you and a motherfucker like me, lil mutant." GHB pointed out as he approached on Karkat, his smirk wide and terrifying as he clicked his claws.

Karkat returned the smirk, tossing his sickles to the side as he raised his claws up. He was better with his claws and if that was what GHB wanted then Karkat was more than happy to give it to him. He was sure it would feel satisfying to sink his claws into that asshole's flesh.

"Karkat!" John shouted above the crowd, warily avoiding a swipe from the drone he and Dave were dealing with. He couldn't get away. The drone wouldn't let him and there were two more waiting in the sidelines for their turn to take on the heroes. Karkat was on his own and it made John's stomach sink into the ground.

Karkat wasn't oblivious. He knew he had no chance in a fight against GHB on his own. But this was his chance. If he could just create the right opening, then Feferi could have her chance and that was all they needed. He just needed to survive long enough to do so. When GHB started to circle, Karkat followed his movements. For a moment, Karkat was sure the asshole was enjoying himself and he probably was. Playing with you meal before you eat it was probably the type of thing he loved to do.

Karkat moved first. He didn't have to time to circle like assholes. He had to create that opening. He launched into the air, smirking at the way GHB blinked in surprise and when he landed on the high-blood he didn't even manage to knock him over. But his claws did sink into the flesh of his neck and that was enough for Karkat. The gush of purple was oddly satisfying but it wasn't long-lasting. GHB pulled him off like a fucking tick and tossed him to the floor. Karkat was on his feet in no time and they were at each other once again.

It happened much to quickly for anyone to realize.

Karkat was panting softly, his body wary from keeping GHB at bay and it seemed like the high-blood was only getting started. It was his own fault and he knew it but he had not been prepared. GHB faked left, which he should have known but Karkat fell for it anyway. He didn't have the chance to correct his body before he was slammed into from the side and knocked into a stone wall.

The explosion of pain made him gasp out, red blood spluttering from his lips as claws tore into his stomach. GHB's face was much too close, too wide of smirk and he smelled of blood. But Karkat couldn't focus. His vision suddenly went blurry and he could hardly register that claws were scrapping along his insides, tearing at his stomach until they could reach the other side. The noise of anguish he made as his back arched from claws tearing through his back caught attention. Those claws scrapped along the wall behind Karkat and the pain no longer mattered. He was being held up by the hand through his stomach and that piercing scream that echoed through the room was not his own.

"Motherfuckers always think they're something special." GHB whispered softly, knocking his nose against Karkat's as he pressed closer, increasing the pressure he had against Karkat's drenching wound. "You're not really. We all bleed. One color or a fucking nother." His eyes softened for just a moment, and Karkat was convinced GHB was no longer seeing him for him. He was no longer some random mutant to this troll. He was Kankri and he could fucking see it. "Special. You were fucking special." His claws curled deep inside Karkat's stomach, making the troll shout in pain as his head lulled back and yet he refused to avoid that intense glare he was receiving. "Now, fucker just like everyone else. Worthless. Nothingness."

"Yeah?" Karkat panted, blood trickling down the corner of his lips as he raised his hand, flexing his claws. "You loved him, asshole. That's not how you love someone." He snarled, spitting blood as he sliced his claws down the GHB's face mirroring what the king had once done to his own son. But GHB had no reaction to it. Purple blood burst from the wound to drip down his face and yet, he still smirked as if he had already won. No one could defeat him and he was convinced of that.

_Now_ , Karkat thought.  _Fucking now._

And yet Feferi did not come.

But something else did.

It was quiet at first. The room stilled at the sudden gust of wind that blew through and then the rumbling came. The floor shook with something that could not be explained as the air shifted into a cold darkness. Then, all eyes were on John.

Blue magic sparked through the air like lightening bolts, holding down every Drone and keeping them from even moving. They fought against the hold but the magic was much too strong. John rose into the air, his arms spread out at his sides like a bird rising into the sky and wind swirled around the room like a hurricane. The revolutionaries moved to take cover while Dave hovered around his best bro, slightly concerned with what was about to happen. John's face was dark, barely readable, but his eyes started glowing blue, the same blue as his magic and it was Roxy who shouted out for Dave to get out of the way.

John rose in the air, magic swirling around him to form translucent bird-like wings at his back. He'd lost control and there was nothing anyone can do about it. Roxy held Dave back as the hero tried to reach his friend. It was too late. John's power took control and there was nothing anyone could do about it.

Magic sparked along GHB's body and it gained his attention. As he rose his eyes to John, the raven haired hero with glowing blue eyes and stunning wings, he had a moment of recollection. There was a power flowing through the air that he can't touch. A power he didn't understand and that scared him for a split second.

Tears pooled from Karkat's eyes, be it from pain or sadness, no one would really know. But crimson locked on the out of control hero and he was left breathless. John was beautiful like that, his hair swirling around him in the wind and his wings spread out so far he could touch them. But he couldn't. Not really. Not with those claws in his stomach. His vision was blurry enough with a few black spots if he moved his eyes too quickly. But John was beautiful like that and Karkat was glad he was able to see it.

If there was anything he would want to be the last thing he ever saw, it would be John. John, the hero who changed his life. The hero who annoyed the hell out of him until they were friends and then managed to steal his heart without even trying. The hero he loved so deeply he couldn't dare admit it to anyone, including himself. His hero. His beautiful hero.

It was the chance they needed.

Feferi fluttered down from out of no where, a trident in her hands aimed downward and all at once, it seemed like GHB knew. His eyes shifted away from John and landed on Kankri who had claws shoved into the head of a drone. His spine prickled and he glanced up just at the right time to see those dark eyes staring at him before Feferi came. Karkat flinched at the blood that suddenly exploded in front of him, splattering purple all over his skin and clothes, melding with red to create a dark color. He fell to the floor, calling out in pain as claws slipped from his stomach. He rolled to the side, grabbing at the floor and tugged himself away from the fallen body of their once king.

Everything stopped then. The guards froze, the drones stopped fighting and the wind ceased as Feferi stood on the fallen body of their king, trident in hand and a grin on her face. All at once, everyone fell to their knees, bowing to their new queen without a second thought.

But there was no time for celebration.

"Karkat!" Kankri managed to slip in his brother's blood as he made his way to Karkat's side and fell beside him, grabbing him quickly to wrap him up in a hug. "No, no, this is not happening!" He cried, his tears falling freely as he pressed his hand hard into Karkat's open wound. Blood gushed and there was nothing he could do to stop it as he held his brother in his arms.

"Jane!" Feferi shouted, her face going from smug victory to deathly worried as she turned to Karkat and Kankri.

"You better fucking save him, I swear." Dave mumbled as he followed Jane through the mess of bodies.

"I'll do what I can." Jane assured him, jumping over the bodies until she came to Karkat's side. "I need to see." She gently brushed Kankri's hands away to get a better look at the wound. Her face paled immediately and that was all Kankri needed to see to know.

"John! Calm yourself! It's ovver!" Eridan called from the ground, his hands on his hips as he stared up at the hero still floating in the air with the same intensity as before. Sollux hovered at Eridan's side and they both looked worse for wear, covered in blood that was obviously not their own.

"Makerdamnit, John." Dave cursed as he hovered around Jane's side. "Where the fuck is Jade?"

"She's with Mituna, Terezi and Cronus." Jake answered quickly, dropping down beside Kankri. His hands were gentle on the troll's shoulders. "Kankri, we need to let her work."

"I'm not letting him go."

"I can't move him like this." Jane let out a sigh as she raised her light blue glowing hands to Karkat's stomach.

Crimson lulled and the voices around him blurred into one sound he couldn't quite make sense of. He glanced from blurry face to blurry face before he raised his eyes to where he knew John was. Something was still wrong. John was still wrong, buzzing with energy and magic he didn't get the chance to release.

"John." Karkat croaked out, shifting to move out of Kankri's lap only to be held still by strong hands.

"You can't move." Jane warned him, her voice stern as she lifted what little of his shirt was left so she could see more of the damage. She cringed at what she saw but calmed her face so no to scare anyone who was watching her.

"John!" He croaked out again and using strength no one thought he had, he shoved his way out of Kankri's lap. "John, you motherfucking batshit asscrane!" He stumbled forward and by the time he got to his feet, no one could stop him from launching into the air.

Their bodies collided in a wet smack, blood dripping to the marble floor and staining John's clothes. That was all John needed. Suddenly, the magic was gone and the two tumbled to the ground. Karkat called out with a painful yelp and it knocked John back into reality. He had little memory of anything he had just done but he could recall vividly witsnessing GHB shove his clawed fist into Karkat's stomach.

"Karkat!" John gasped, his stunning eyes wide and tear-filled as he shifted onto his knees and pulled the troll into his lap, his hands shaking, hovering over the massive wound in his stomach. "Oh maker.  _Oh no_."

"I'm fine, you asshole. I'm fine." Karkat coughed out, his body shaking and though there was blood staining his lips, John wanted nothing more than to kiss the troll right then and there. "Just a little," he winced, reaching up to cup his hand over John's cheek, "scratch."

"You asshole." John sobbed, tears slipping from his eyes as a warm smile came to his lips. "Don't, pretend." He bent over, nuzzling his nose into Karkat's dirty cheek as his tears slipped down to dribble over unhealthily dark grey cheeks.

"You are both large idiots." Jane grumbled as she dropped down beside them, pushing John's hands away from Karkat's waist so she could tend to his wound.

"T-Thanks, Jane. Please..." John's voice caught in his throat as he buried his face into Karkat's bloody neck.

"I'll do my best."

"Congrats, Feferi." Karkat mumbled, glancing up when he noticed the flurry of pink.

"Shh, you rest now." Feferi gave him a soft smile, hiding her tears behind her hand as Kanaya came up to her side.

There were too many people and Karkat suddenly felt too exhausted to deal with them all. His eyes slipped closed and Jane suddenly sat up.

"Keep him awake, John." Jane warned him.

John nodded and nuzzle his way to Karkat's ear, ignoring the way his heart thumped hard in his throat. He whispered soft words into Karkat's ear, keeping the troll's attention as Jane set to healing him the best she was capable of. Dave hovered to the side, a hand on Kankri's shoulder as the troll decided Dirk's arm was the best place to hid his tears. Kurloz had managed to get Gamzee on his feet and he was being tended to by Tavros. Eridan stuck beside Sollux while Kanaya hovered around them, her eyes filled with tears but her face strong while Rose was at her side, chewing on her bottom lip a bit too intensely.

The revolutionaries hovered around as Jane set to work trying to heal Karkat while John cried and whispered sweet things into the troll's ear that could keep him awake.

They'd won. They'd defeated The Grand High-blood and achieved something they had spent their whole lives to do and yet... It didn't feel like an accomplishment.

It would mean nothing if they lost one of their own in the process.

But, as long as Jane had anything to say about that, Karkat was not going anywhere.

* * *

_The streets crawl with a deadly omen._

_Outside I see a world that's broken._

_I can't breath; my heart is chocking._

_I need a cure for this life I've chosen._

_My pain is a blessing in disguise._

_I feel it cutting and it's cutting like a knife._

_I will face everything and rise._

_Never gonna quit until I die._

_Angels keep falling from the sky._

_I'll take their broken wings and learn to fly._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you all happy now? We found Cronus.
> 
> I'm sitting here hoping, praying, that you all picked up on the small details that I stuck in there. Like how Kankri really didn't want to witness GHB's death and yet, Kankri is the last thing GHB sees before his demise. And how Dave seemed pretty intense about Jane saving Karkat's life. Lots of little things thrown in there. Hope you picked up on them!
> 
> Now, will Jane save Karkat's life? Guess we'll have to wait and see! Two more chapters guys and that's it, we're done! Thanks to everyone who has stuck by and thanks to everyone just catching up! You all mean so much to me!
> 
> Thanks again to my moirail Amy for the wonderful picture that captured exactly what I wanted for John. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Please be sure to leave a kudo if you already haven't! Comments are very appreciated too! I would love to hear what you thought. Remember, you can only kudo a chapter fic once so comments are very well needed and loved!
> 
> ~Addy~


	23. Can't Imagine Being Anywhere Else But Here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bloody fucking hell I can't believe I finished this and I'm actually damn happy with it. Do you understand the pressure I put on myself? This is what we have ALL been waiting for. 250k words and 22 chapters and we're finally here. It was worth it, yeah? Hehe
> 
> Mood Music. I advise you listen to these in the order I am putting them in alright? Here we go!  
> [Meteor Shower](https://youtu.be/HrihnDl2JQ4), [The Real You](https://youtu.be/qI_TvHh0xSc) \- For Kankri and Cronus.
> 
> [Hold Each Other](https://youtu.be/hx5P6WJLxHw), [Bae Bae](https://youtu.be/TKD03uPVD-Q), and [View](https://youtu.be/UF53cptEE5k) \- For John and Karkat
> 
> As always, bold and italicized is Alternian. 
> 
> Enjoy this monster chapter!!!

_I can finally see_

_That you're right there beside me._

_I am not my own._

_For I have been made new._

_Please don't let me go._

_I desperately need you._

* * *

The sound of footsteps echoed through the room, bouncing off the elegantly decorated walls and making a few of the occupants flinch with each sharp step. Three heroes watched in slight worry as a troll paced back and forth, his blood covered boots tapping against the floor with his quick steps. The blood had dried long ago but the different colors stained into his clothing and his hair. Red blood around his forehead had dried to a rusty brown color and flecked off every time he brought up a shaking hand to brush sweat away.

Kankri chewed on his bottom lip violently, nearly breaking skin with sharp fangs as he paced back and forth. Dave watched with darkened eyes hidden behind goggles as he leaned against a wall, his arms crossed over his chest. Dirk was leaning against the arm of an extravagant chair while Jake hovered at his side. They were all dirty, covered in blood, and worse for wear. And yet, the worry was more for Kankri than anything else at the moment.

Golden orange flicked back and forth, following Kankri's quick strides. The troll would pause for only a split second to twist around on his heel so he could pace in the other direction. Jake continued to glance between Dirk and Kankri, worry and concern evident on his face.

"You're going to wear a hole in the floor." Dave spoke up, breaking the silence that had settled over them for nearly an hour.

Kankri froze for only a second, his eyes still wide and focused on the floor. His brow furrowed and then he was moving again, ignoring the words Dave spoke.

Dave let out a heavy sigh, his shoulders slumping as he relaxed against the wall. He tossed Jake a look that the yellow-clad hero read clearly. After a moment of debate, Jake left Dirk's side and stepped right into Kankri's line of pacing.

The troll faltered for only a moment when he bumped into Jake's strong chest. Garnet glanced up, swirling with an emotion that made Jake's face fall. The hero forced a smile and lifted a hand, placing it gently on a tense shoulder as he peered down at Kankri.

"Please, Kankri, sit. You're going to worry yourself to sickness like this."

"How can I sit?" Kankri snapped suddenly, making Jake tug his hand back at the way those fangs flashed at him. Tears pooled in garnet eyes but they refused to fall and Kankri moved to hug himself tightly. "How can I just stand here, doing nothing? While my brother's life is in some strangers hands and my... Cronus is." Kankri closed his eyes tightly, curling in on himself suddenly. Jake reached out to him but before his hands could grab onto shaking shoulders, Kankri ripped away from him and started pacing again, starting a new path around Jake.

"He's dying. I have no illusions. I know what's happening. I know what can happen. Both of them. They're both dying. The two most important people to me and they're dying and I can only stand here and do  _nothing_!" Kankri mumbled, his voice increasing in volume as he spoke. He had a wild look about his face, his hair a mess and his eyes so far gone it was impossible to tell if he was even with them anymore.

"Makerdamnit, Kankri, shut up." Dave snapped, his shoulders going tense as he shoved both hands into his hair.

"Dave." Jake tossed him a sympathetic look.

"Death so much death. That's not how this was supposed to go." Kankri continued, his mouth running without a filter that was willing to stop him. "I couldn't do anything to stop him. I can't lose him. Either of them. And yet I can't do anything to help them. Not a makerdamn thing!" Claws tightened the grip he had on his sweater, ripping the fabric without a second thought as he paced.

"Dirk." Jake's tone was stern as he approached the hero, his eyes narrow and his lips a frown. "Do something."

Dirk glanced up at him with a perked brow. "And what exactly am I supposed to do?"

"You know what to do." Jake kicked the side of Dirk's boot. "He's going to break down any minute."

The sigh that felt Dirk's lips was heavy. "I'm not-"

"You fucked him." Dave pointed out, glancing at his brother with a deep frown on his lips. "Fucking do something and shut his ass up before I do it for you."

Dirk's jaw clenched but he moved away from Jake, his skin crawling as a sweat broke out over his brow. He paused near Kankri, watching the troll pace back and forth for a moment longer, mumbling words to himself that were in a language none of them understood any more. He looked crazed and though Dirk wasn't exactly sure what to do, he figured he could at least try. He tugged the goggles from his face and tossed them to Jake who caught them effortlessly. His golden orange eyes were free for the world to see along with the deep scar over one of them.

When Kankri passed by him, Dirk reached out and wrapped his fingers around a bicep, stopping the troll in his tracks. Kankri snapped his head up, dark garnet meeting golden orange. The air in the room thickened as they stared at one another. Kankri's grip on himself loosened only slightly before he abruptly tipped forward and buried his head in Dirk's chest.

"Yeah, I thought so." Dirk mumbled softly, wrapping his arms around the troll's shaking shoulders tightly. He tossed Jake a glance to find the hero sighing in relief and slumping against the chair, sitting down. Dave let out a sigh as well and slid down the wall to tug his knees to his chest. Kankri was still mumbling in alternian but it wasn't loud enough for anyone to really hear him; the words muffled in Dirk's chest.

Kankri's shoulders heaved with sobs that he finally set free, the words falling from his mouth into soft gasps and hiccups. His entire body was shaking and though Dirk tensed at first, he just tightened his hold on the troll and slowly, carefully, began petting dirty strands of raven hair. Kankri clung to Dirk like the hero was his lifeline; the only thing keeping him up and alive. His knees went weak but Dirk accounted for that, holding the troll up so he didn't collapse to the floor.

The air in the room filled with the soft sounds of Kankri's sobs muffled in Dirk's chest and every so often, a sniff would come from Dave's direction. It was what they needed. The silence and the time to let out how they felt. Especially Kankri. They had been shoved into some random room in the castle by Feferi with the promise that as soon as she knew Karkat's and Cronus' conditions she would let them know. That was over an hour ago and Kankri had been getting worse ever since.

The sobs that fell from his lips were heartbreaking and Dirk didn't need the troll to say a word to understand why. There was a silent understanding between them that even Jake seemed to understand. Dirk knew more about Kankri than he was willing to admit and though holding the troll in such a way made the hair on the back of his neck stand up, he was willing to comfort him when Kankri needed him the most. Kankri needed someone and at the moment, Dirk was the only one available.

"This... entire time..." Kankri mumbled out between sobs that wrecked his chest, his claws gripping so tightly into Dirk's cloak that they sliced through the fabric. "He was here." He nuzzled his face more into Dirk's chest, soaking it with his tears as he clung to the hero.

"You didn't know." Dirk reminded him, his voice strong but soft. He let his eyes slip closed as he tried to focus on the troll in his arms. If he thought to hard about the fact that both Jake and Dave were watching him he would lose his nerve and possibly make things worse for Kankri.

"That doesn't matter!" Kankri chocked out, pressing closer until his feet were pressing against the sides of Dirk's. "He almost... He... We..."

"Don't. Don't do that to yourself right now." Dirk cut in, his voice sharp but still soft and gentle, his fingers slipping through dirty raven hair. "They're going to be okay. And then you can figure your shit out."

"You didn't see him!" Kankri's shoulders heaved so Dirk slipped his other hand down the troll's back to rub soothing circles through the thick fabric of his blood-coated sweater. "He was..."

"Shhh." Dirk shifted to lean down enough to nuzzle his cheek against Kankri's hair, his nose barely bumping into a nubby horn.

The noise Kankri released was utterly pathetic but he stopped talking and settled with crying into Dirk's chest, letting out the intense pain curling in his chest. It was the only thing he was capable of doing. His past lover and his brother were dying and the only thing Kankri could do was cry. He could barely even think. His mind was a huge clash of thoughts and emotions but the pain was what came through the strongest.

He could have screamed.

But he didn't have the energy to.

The door to the sitting room opened abruptly and the force that Kankri pushed away from Dirk made something dark and painful curl in the hero's stomach.

Kurloz lumbered into the room, his hand on the door handle as he glanced around with Mituna lingering behind him. Something inside Kankri snapped and he crossed the small space quickly, approaching Kurloz without a second thought. Though his face was red and dirty, with tear streaks down his cheeks, he didn't hesitate to reach up and cup the high-blood's face between his hands and bring Kurloz down toward his level.

"How is Gamzee?" Kankri asked as if he had not just been crying his soul out ten seconds ago.

"He's good!" Mituna answered, slipping around Kurloz to flash Kankri a smile. "Tav's with him."

"Good." Kankri's shoulders visibly relaxed and his head dropped along with his hands from Kurloz's face.

"Kri?" Mituna questioned softly, shuffling up to the mutant troll with his head titled to the side.

"I'm glad he's okay." Kankri mumbled, his face hidden as he tucked his chin against his collarbone.

Kurloz and Mituna glanced at one another before Kankri was engulfed in a warmth from the both of them. Mituna fit well against Kankri's side and Kurloz's long limbs wrapped around the both pulling them against his strong chest for a tight hug. A squeak of a sob came from Kankri's throat but it was shushed away with Mituna's soft mumbling and Kurloz's gentle nuzzling into his hair.

"I think he'll be okay." Jake's voice was soft as he stepped up beside Dirk, offering his fellow hero his goggles back.

Dirk's jaw clenched so tightly Jake could see it as he watched the trio of trolls by the door. He took his goggles back without looking at Jake and quickly tugged them over his head, covering his eyes from view. Jake's fingers were gentle as they brushed at blond strands of hair, trying to fix them into some resemblance of okay around the goggles strap. Dirk didn't seem to mind in the least.

"Fef knows what she's doin'." Mituna's voice mumbled out as he tightened his arms around Kankri's waist, nuzzling his way into the mutant's neck. "And that green chick is cool."

"Peace." Kurloz pressed a gentle kiss to the space between Kankri's horns.

"Yeah, what the big guy says." Mituna agreed, pressing his nose into Kankri's cheek in an effort to get those garnet eyes to look at him.

"Why don't the three of you come sit and rest?" Jake offered, approaching them with a kind smile on his lips that only gained Mituna's attention.

"Kri, Kri." Mituna nudged Kankri gently. "Sit with us. Snuggle bubble."

Kurloz let out a faint rumbling sound that was more of a purr than anything and released the two trolls in his hold. Kankri still didn't look up, his eyes fully focused on the ground but he didn't object when Mituna grabbed his hand and turned him toward the bench-like chair near a shelf of books. Kurloz followed behind them, glancing at Dirk and only arching a brow at the strange look the hero was giving him.

"I..." Kankri pulled free from Mituna once they reached the chair and he stumbled back a few steps until he connected with Kurloz's body. Strong hands grabbed onto his shoulders and when Kankri tilted his head back, meeting intense violet it was obvious he was still crying, tears slipping down the rounds of his cheeks.

"I honestly believe no one ever thinks to contact me with the most important things." The sharp feminine voice that echoed down the hall slipped into the room and made the three trolls tense noticeably. The clicking of heels followed the voice and it was Kankri who suddenly pulled away from Kurloz to stare at the opened door with a dropped jaw.

"Our apologies." Kanaya's voice was soft and elegant as always. "But I do feel we have called you in for the most important part."

"You know my skills well, little sister."

"Kanaya insists you are wonderful with damage control." Rose's voice held a tint of ware to it, perhaps as if she had been crying before.

Dave was suddenly on his feet and in a flash he was out of the room. There was a gasp of alarm and one could only assume Rose was engulfed by Dave with the gentle soothing words of "Dave, it's okay" that flowed down the hallway.

"Where is he?" The sharp voice was closer and the heels came to a stop outside the open door, the female troll finally revealed to those who did not know her. " _ **There's my baby.**_ "

Kankri's spine trickled and his eyes swooped up that tall elegant bodacious body to take in that she was, in fact,  _real_.

Porrim clicked a heel as she shifted her weight onto one foot, propping out a hip that she could curl a hand against. The dress she wore was form fitting, showing off all of her best assets, including those swirling black tattoos that covered her grey skin. Her lips were painted a pretty jade green, her eyes were the same bright color and her jet black hair was long and curled, flowing down her bare shoulders and curving around her breasts.

"Rim!" Mituna exclaimed suddenly, hoping up to lean against Kurloz who was watching her with narrowed eyes.

" _ **What on earth did you do to him?**_ " Porrim snapped suddenly, her expression soft but her voice not so much. She crossed the distance quickly, her heels snapping against the marble floor. She didn't hesitate to reach out and slip the palms over her hands over Kankri's flushed cheeks. " _ **Who thought it was a good idea to let my baby walk around like this?**_ "

" _ **B-Baby...**_ " Kankri mumbled, his eyes far too wide and his throat far too tight.

" _ **Oh, you precious thing.**_ " Her face softened as she leaned in close and pressed her plump lips against Kankri's slacked ones. " _ **Let's get you cleaned up.**_ "

"P-Porrim." Kankri mumbled, his body numb as his fingers twitched at his sides, dying to reach out and touch her.

" _ **Come on, Dear.**_ " She moved to his side, slipping an around around his waist and showing just how much taller she was than him. Not much, but enough. " _ **I brought clean clothes for you. You'll feel much better after a bath.**_ " Jade eyes glanced up to the other two trolls who flinched under that gaze. " _ **The two of you should clean up as well.**_ "

And with that, Porrim led Kankri out of the room, passing Kanaya, Rose and Dave on the way before they turned down a hallway.

"Porrim."

" _ **I know, Kankri. I know. I've been informed of everything. Honestly, I find it hard to believe no one thought to contact me sooner.**_ " Porrim kept her head held high as she strolled down the hallway with Kankri, glancing at his face every so often to see he couldn't take his eyes off her.

" _ **I...**_ "

" _ **It's alright. We'll talk later. You need a bath first. And fresh clothes.**_ "

Kankri agreed to her terms for the mere fact that he was completely emotionally overwhelmed. Pain was still crushing his chest but it was subsided momentarily by Porrim's arrival.

Porrim's presence was a warmth in Kankri's life that he didn't realized how much he needed until that very moment. She was warm against his side, her arm tight around his back, as she led him through the maze of hallways in the castle. He could remember how he used to walk these hallways without a second thought, as if he owned the place because he had been given the freedom to do so. He couldn't leave the castle, but the castle was his to explore.

A sour feeling swirled in his chest and his thoughts were brought back to his brother whose condition was still unknown.

" _ **Here we are.**_ " Porrim gave him a soft smile before she led him inside a room.

It was a bathroom, by the looks of it but it seemed Porrim had already commandeered the place as her own. Pieces of clothing were strewn about, laid out on counters and hung up over mirrors that had no business being all over the place. Kankri recognized the large case by one of the sinks as Porrim's handy make-up case and he vaguely wondered how long she had been in the castle. Not long. Couldn't have been. It'd been barely a few hours since they defeated Kurl.

" _ **Sit please.**_ " Porrim's voice was soft and gentle as she motioned for Kankri to sit on the edge of a large marble built-in bath tub. The luxury of the whole place made the mutant sick to his stomach but it wasn't something to focus on. If anything, he was looking forward to being pampered by the female troll. He found it hard to focus on anything as it was.

" _ **Lift your arms.**_ " Her tone held no room for argument but it was still soft and sweet, like Kankri had always remembered. So he did as was told and lifted his arms. She grabbed the hem of his sweater and lifted it over his heat, tossing the ruined piece of fabric aside. Her eyes were focused on the tub and as she leaned over to twist on a few knobs, she gave him a glance to make sure he was alright.

The air in the room froze at that moment.

" _ **What on... Who did this to you?!**_ " Porrim demanded suddenly, dropping to her knees in front of Kankri so she could slide the palms over her hands over the thick scars cradling around his body.

Kankri glanced down at himself in slight surprise, haven forgotten they were there for the time being. "Kurl." He mumbled softly.

Her eyes narrowed and her fangs glistened in the glowing light coming from the ceiling. " _ **If he wasn't dead already I'd find a way to squish his face into gravel.**_ "

" _ **He tried to do that to me.**_ " Kankri pointed out, the area around his eyes suddenly feeling really tired. His tears were gone for now and exhaustion was slipping in. Not to mention his head was still thumping occasionally.

Porrim hissed as she stood elegantly, moving quick with a flurry of clothing so she could run the bath water for him. " _ **You are not a fighter. I don't believe I want to know whose brilliant idea it was to let you near him again.**_ "

Kankri's head slumped and he curled in on himself slightly, his arms wrapping around his stomach to cover his scars from view. " _ **It was mine.**_ "

" _ **What?**_ "

" _ **I... I messed up, Porrim. I... Oh maker.**_ " He closed his burning eyes tightly as his shoulders began to shake again. " _ **I killed... I hurt...**_ "

" _ **Don't you do this to yourself, precious.**_ " She settled on the edge of the tub beside him, gathering him up in her arms until his head was pillowed against her breasts. " _ **We have all done things we regret. We have all been through things that will effect us for the rest of our lives. The only thing was can do is focus on our future and try to be better for it.**_ " Her voice was soothing as she rocked him gently, petting his hair like a mother would do to sooth her child.

And really, that's what Porrim was.

It wasn't something they'd ever discussed because that was just a little too much for either of them to admit. But Porrim had been there for Kankri long before anyone else. Back before Signless and back before Karkat was old enough to roughly take care of himself. She was there for him. A sort of rock he could lean on. She was as pale for him as anyone could possibly ever be and though in a way, he returned those feelings, they'd never defined what they were. She respected Kankri and his feelings. She respected that he was part-human and in a way would never be able to truly return her feelings. They agreed to let it lay as it was.

Porrim made him feel like a young troll again with her soft hands and gentle words. She knew what to say and how to touch him to make everything just a little bit better. She was gift and he was grateful to have her back in his life.

" _ **A warm bath will ease your pain.**_ " Porrim pulled away from him slowly, checking his face to make sure he was okay before moving to fill the steaming water in the tub with wonderful smelling soaps and medicines for his aching body.

Kankri stared at his boots for a long time while she did this and eventually, he decided they needed to go. So slowly, he pressed the toe of one boot into the heel of the other and pushed. It took a few tries but he manged to kick one dirty boot off. But the other was not being as kind. He pushed at it with his bare heel only to find it didn't want to go anywhere.

When Porrim noticed, she smiled tenderly and moved to his side after twisting off the water. She bent down beside him and took the time to unlace his boot before pulling it off his foot. When she motioned for him to stand he did so and she helped him out of his pants.

" _ **Look at you.**_ " She commented softly, giving his naked body a good once over. " _ **You're so dirty.**_ "

" _ **I'm sorry.**_ "

" _ **Shh. Come.**_ " She held her hand out to him and he took it, letting her help him step into the tub.

The water was steaming hot and smelled of flowers, like the ones around Karkat's cabin. Kankri sank down into the water until it came up to his nose and closed his eyes, letting the warmth seep deep into his bones. Porrim let him soak for a little while as she moved about the obnoxiously large bathroom, picking at different clothes and things.

Thinking of Karkat's flowers made Kankri think of Karkat. Of his brother who had a hand shoved through his stomach to the point of coming out the other side. His brother who he saw bleed on the marble floor in his arms. The same brother who managed to calm John down even though he was bleeding out. His brother. His  _family._

The sob that came from his throat was unexpected and Porrim turned around in alarm at it. Kankri curled around himself in the water, pulling his knees close to his chest as he sobbed into them. His body shook hard, rippling the water around him. He couldn't lose Karkat. He should have stopped him when he realized what his brother was going to do. He tried, oh how he tried. He tried to take Karkat's place, he should have taken Karkat's place. He was the one Kurl wanted; Not Karkat. So why? Why did his brother force himself into Kankri's place?

Porrim didn't say a word as she came to Kankri's side and moved to sit on the edge of the tub. With gentle hands she started to clean the blood, dirt and grim away from Kankri's skin with a wash cloth. He let her move his body and adjust it so she could clean him, all while sobs pulled through his body and tears slipped into the soapy water.

She didn't comment on his pain and that was best. She let him cry out his pain as her hands cleaned all the blood away from his body. When it came to his head, she found she had to be more gentle. There was a large bump near a horn and after some inspection she found one of his horns to be cracked. She hissed between her teeth and when she moved to grab some medical supplies Aradia had supplied her with, Kankri's hand snatched out to latch onto her wrist.

" _ **It's alright, Dear.**_ " She soothed, petting his hair gently as he stared up at her with wide, tear-filled, fearful eyes. " _ **I need to heal you.**_ "

Kankri's fingers clenched tightly around her wrist for only a second longer before he released her and curled in on himself once again in the water. She didn't waste her time, gathering up the box Aradia gave her before sitting back down on the tub. She pulled the plug from the tub so the dirty water could drain and then started to run clean warm water that she could use to clean his hair with.

Kankri's dark strands were coated with blood; his own blood to the point that when Porrim pulled her hands away from it, they had dried blood on them. She grimaced at the sight but didn't let Kankri see as she moved closer. Carefully, she positioned him with his head tilted backwards so she could pour clean water over his hair with a wooden stout. Water streamed down his face, cleaning away any extra dirt and blood and with his eyes closed in that way, Kankri actually looked peaceful. Though the sobs still wreaking through his throat ruined that imagine almost immediately.

Porrim took her time in washing out his hair, careful of the knot on his head and his exceptionally sensitive horn. She had to brush thick strands away to see that the blood had in fact all came from the base of his horn. The skin around the base was bruised black and red with even a hint of green to it that surprised her. But the part that was concerning was the obvious crack curling up his nubby horn. There was no way to fix that. Not really. It could only be rubbed with a numbing solution and wrapped tightly with bandages with a hope that the cartilage would heal on its own. It usually did. Wouldn't be the first time a horn was damaged though usually that was thanks so a Kismesis fight.

Using a fluffy clean towel, she dried off Kankri's hair to the best of her ability. He didn't mind in the least and when she was done, his hair fluffed out in a way that made her smile. His eyes stayed locked on a space between his feet in the tub but she could tell he was already feeling just a bit better. She took her time in applying the numbing solution and then had to wrap a clean bandage around his horn and part of his head, plastering thick strands of hair to his forehead and cheeks. The bandage covered the lump on his head as well and when she was done, his head seemed to hurt a bit less.

Now clean, Kankri let Porrim pull him to his feet and wrap a towel around his body. He stood in the draining tub and clutched onto the towel, keeping it around his shoulders. Garnet raised finally to see Porrim watching him with a tender expression that made his stomach swirl. He glanced away quickly but didn't object when she moved to help him step out of the tub. She rubbed her hands over his shoulders, motioning for him to dry off before she wondered off to find him some clothes to wear.

Kankri did as was told, rubbing the towel over his now clean skin to dry it. He didn't feel vulnerable in front of her like this; naked and emotional. It was Porrim after all and he would be forever grateful that she was there with him. He felt horrible for breaking down on Dirk and even more so that Kurloz and Mituna had to witness it. But Porrim, he didn't mind.

" _ **You grew on me.**_ " Porrim commented softly as she approached him with an arm full of clothing. " _ **I was not prepared.**_ "

Kankri sniffed, rubbing at his nose with the towel wrapped around his shoulders as he glanced down at himself. " _ **My apologies.**_ "

" _ **Never apologize for your beauty.**_ " She responded effortlessly as she laid down the pile of clothes on a counter near them. " _ **And you are beautiful, darling. Always were. Always will be.**_ "

A flush curled to round cheeks as Kankri pulled the towel tighter around his body. " _ **I don't see how that matters.**_ "

" _ **It will always matter.**_ " She said as she picked through the clothing, holding each piece up to see if it would fit him properly. " _ **Sometimes you forget how precious you are to the people that matter most to you.**_ "

Kankri bit into his lower lip as he glanced to the floor, shame flushing up his neck. " _ **I'm sorry, Porrim. I'm sorry I left. I'm sorry I didn't tell you.**_ "

" _ **I forgive you.**_ " She responded honestly, her eyes focused on a black sweater she held up. " _ **I knew I would see you again. Honestly, I'm happy to see you've grown so well. But, please, do not do that to me again**_."

" _ **I won't.**_ " He promised.

" _ **Thank you. This may be a little large but you look good in larger clothes.**_ " She motioned for him to drop the towel and he did so. She helped him pull on the black sweater made from soft fine cotton that felt wonderful against his skin. It wasn't much too large for him, only a size or two too big and the hem came to rest near in the middle of his thighs while the sleeves covered the backs of his hands. " _ **Beautiful.**_ " She commented, planting a gentle kiss to his cheek before moving to find a pair of pants for him.

Kankri tugged at the sleeves for a moment and glanced over his shoulder seeing that the sweater covered all of his private parts. Plus it was warm. " _ **You made this?**_ "

" _ **Do you like it?**_ "

" _ **I do.**_ "

" _ **It's yours.**_ "

Kankri nodded and grabbed onto the bunched up neck of the sweater and pulled it up until it came just under his jaw. It felt soft and warm, like he was wrapped up in a hug. A Porrim hug; the best hugs really.

" _ **I'll make you another red one, if you'd like.**_ " Porrim cast his old ripped and ruined sweater a longing glance. " _ **You look so lovely in that color.**_ "

" _ **I would like that.**_ "

A beautiful smile curled to jade painted lips as Porrim handed Kankri a pair of pants. " _ **I have a shop in Brethel. You should come stay with me. Both of you.**_ "

Kankri paused in bending down to slip a leg into the black pants she had given him. " _ **Brethel?**_ "

" _ **I know it's a little far but it's peaceful there. Besides, with our new queen, Alternia is about to see a new peaceful time.**_ "

" _ **I can't.**_ "

"Kankri?"

" _ **I... I'm sorry.**_ " He shook his head quickly as he tugged on the pants.

" _ **What is it?**_ "

He quickly buttoned the pants that held his frame perfectly well, tight in all the right places and he smoothed out the sweater over his stomach. " _ **I'm not leaving Karkat.**_ "

" _ **I meant when they are better, dear.**_ "

" _ **He'd not leaving John. Which means he will stay in Albion. And I have to stay with him. And Cronus will... With us.**_ "

" _ **You... don't intend to return to Alternia?**_ " Something in her face fell and it made Kankri's heart clench even tighter in his chest.

" _ **No. I never did.**_ "

" _ **I see.**_ "

" _ **But... You can come see me, can't you?**_ "

" _ **Oh. Of course I can!**_ " A smile curled to her lips as she pressed closer to him, gathering his face in her hands so she could nuzzle their noses together. " _ **As if I would ever let you out of my sight like that again.**_ "

A small bubble of laughter came from Kankri's throat and though it sounded more like a strained wheeze, it was enough to make Porrim light up. " _ **I'm glad.**_ "

" _ **You look so much better.**_ " Porrim stated as she pulled away from Kankri to give him a good once over. The pants fit him well and though the sweater was a bit too big, it laid on his body in a flattering manner. His hair was still slightly damp and the bandage made his head look a little awkward but he was clean. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes were red and puffy from crying but he still looked a hell of a lot better than he did when she first laid eyes on him. " _ **Less like death.**_ "

Kankri hummed softly and pawed at the hem of his sweater. " _ **I feel a little better.**_ "

"Kankri?" There was a knock on the door that made both of them flinch. "Are you in here? Kanaya said I could find you here."

"Jade?" Kankri moved quickly, ignoring the fact that he had no shoes on as he tugged the door open to reveal the tired looking hero.

"Kankri!" Jade lit up, a smile curling to her lips.

"How is he?" Kankri asked quickly, his eyes wide as his fingers flinched in front of his stomach, hovering in the air like he wanted to touch her but couldn't.

"He's okay!" She answered quickly, her smile growing as she reached forward to grasp his hands in hers. "Feferi can do wonders, did you know that? Aradia is so busy with Karkat, that we were worried but, Feferi managed to set his legs and I was able to heal most of his wounds. Kankri! He's going to be okay!" Her voice grew on a bit of panic at the end when tears slipped from garnet eyes.

"Oh.  _Oh._   _Thank you_." Kankri's voice shook as his eyes closed tightly, tears slipping free as he clutched onto her warm hands.

"Oh, Kankri." Jade sighed soothingly and squeezed his hands in return. "It's going to be okay. He's resting now but you can see him if you'd like. He's in the west wing and Eridan is already there. I can take you there. He's asleep but I just know he'll be really happy to see you when he wakes up. He kept mumbling your name the whole time and asking for you."

"Come on, dear." Porrim slipped up behind Kankri, offering him a pair of black ankle boots with a kind smile, casting Jade a glance that the hero smiled at. "Your darling awaits."

Kankri sniffed and nodded, taking the boots so he could slip them on. "Thank you, Porrim."

"Always, Kitten." She gave his hair a gentle kiss, just below his cracked horn before she turned to Jade. "You poor thing look as if you could use a long bath and a rest."

Jade shook her head. "I'm okay. I need to find Dave. Do you know where he is?"

"He was with Rose." Kankri answered, bending down to lace up the boots.

"Do you know where John is?"

"With Karkat, I assume." He replied, his hands fumbling around his laces at his brother's name. "Jake and Dirk were in the sitting room when I left."

"You go on, child. I will take him to his prince." Porrim offered softly, rubbing over Kankri's back as he troll stood up straight again.

"You don't mind?" Jade asked, her brow furrowing slightly. She really did look so tired and there was some purple blood staining her dress that Kankri had to force himself not to look at.

"Not at all."

"Thank you." Jade sighed in relief. "I'll see you soon, Kankri."

"Jade." Kankri grabbed into her hands once more before bringing her close, enveloping her in a hug she wasn't expecting.

"Oh. Kankri." The hero smiled and wrapped her arms around his waist, hugging him tightly.

" _Thank you._ I'll never be able to thank you enough."

"You're family, Kankri. You don't owe me a thing. Just, talk to him okay?" She pulled away with a soft smile and leaned up to plant a gentle kiss to his cheek. "It'll be okay."

Kankri nodded, giving her a shaky smile before releasing her. She gave both trolls a wave before she trotted off down the hallway and disappeared down a corner. Kankri's heart was swollen with the news that Cronus would be okay. It was bittersweet. Cronus was okay but Karkat was still up in the air. But  _Cronus was okay_.

"Shall we?" Porrim slipped her arm with his, hooking them together with a warm smile on her elegant lips.

"Please."

* * *

The west wing was a familiar place for Kankri. It was where he spent most of his time when he lived in the castle considering his room was off the corner of the castle with a balcony and everything. Truth be told, he was spoiled during his time in the castle. He had no illusions about that. Kurl spoiled him to no end and though he never understood why, he never questioned it either. No one questioned The Grand High-blood. That was just asking for a boot to the head. Kankri learned that the hard way.

He had known Kurl would have to die. He'd known that for a long time. He knew the day would come when Feferi would take her rightful place and Kurl's death was the only way how. He'd known that but that didn't mean he had been prepared to witness it. He could still see those eyes staring at him, wide and fearful right before life left them. His skin crawled at the memory and he didn't notice the way Porrim's arm tightened around his, pulling him just a little closer to her side.

Cronus had spent years trying to convince Kankri that Kurl never cared about him. He'd spent a lot of time and effort in trying to remind Kankri that the troll was a horrible piece of shit and  _used_ him;  _abused him_. It took Kankri a long time to come to terms with that and still, he knew there was some part of Kurl that loved him. He'd never say it aloud again but the way those eyes looked at him before death took over convinced Kankri that he had not been wrong. Kurl loved him. Whether it was healthy or not. That troll loved him.

"Oh dear." Porrim's voice was light as they rounded a corner and Kankri glanced up at her in slight confusion, assuming she had something to say to him. But her beautiful eyes were stuck on something ahead of them and when Kankri turned to look, a horrible tight darkness curled in his stomach.

Carefully, Kankri pulled away from Porrim and picked up his pace, jogging his way to the hero sitting on the floor. John's face was buried in his knees which were hugged to his chest as he sat with his back against a door. He was absolutely drenched in dried blood and the smell wafted through the air, making Kankri's nose crinkle. His blue clothes looked more brown than anything and his hair was an absolute mess from running his fingers through it constantly.

"John." Kankri's voice was light as he knelt down beside the hero, his eyes wide with concern as he reached out a gentle hand. John didn't even flinch when Kankri's hand rested on his shaking shoulder. It was if John didn't even register that he wasn't alone. "John." Kankri leaned a bit closer and with a gentle hand, slipped his fingers into dirty raven hair.

John made a faint noise in the back of his throat and slowly turned his head enough so Kankri could see a sliver of bright blue. "Kankri."

Something throbbed hard in Kankri's chest at the broken voice that spoke his name. "What are you doing out here?"

"They won't let me in." John mumbled softly, lifting his head enough so Kankri could see the dirt and dried blood all over his face. Karkat's blood. Kankri winced at that thought. "I'm just in the way. They've been in there... Hours. I don't know how long it's been." His voice cracked slightly and though his eyes were bloodshot, Kankri was sure the hero had yet to actually cry. "They won't let me see him."

"John." Kankri's voice grew tight around his name but he pushed forward, moving to his knees as he brushed his fingers through John's hair. "They need to work on him. Aradia knows what she is doing. She's the best troll doctor we have and, I know you have faith in Jane." Kankri was trying to believe his words just as much as he was trying to get John to.

The hero shook his head slightly as he rest his chin on his knees. "They haven't told me anything. He wasn't awake when they took him inside. He wasn't..." John's eyes closed tightly and his face contorted, his lips curling and his nose crinkling. "He wasn't  _breathing._ "

Kankri's heart stuttered at his words but he swallowed hard. "John..."

A shadow fell over them and both looked up to see Porrim peering down at them with an unreadable expression. She glanced between John and Kankri, taking in Kankri's hand in the hero's hair before tilting her head up to glance down the hallway. "You should take him to get cleaned up, Kankri." She offered softly.

"John. Will you come with me? I know you don't want to leave." Kankri stated when John started to shake his head. "But you are absolutely covered in blood and we both know Karkat won't want to see you like this."

John flinched at his words and he tightened the hold he had on his knees before glancing up at Porrim. She shifted on her feet under his gaze before smoothing out the front of her dress.

"I should probably go make sure those idiots are taking care of themselves." Porrim stated and bent down, running her hands through the strands of hair sticking out around Kankri's bandages. "You'll be alright, darling?"

"Yes." Kankri nodded, knowing she was giving them space.

Porrim gave John a nod before twisting on her heels to disappear down the hallway they had just come through. The clicking of her heels echoed down the hallway while Kankri watched her leave. John's focus returned to a spot on the floor but when Kankri moved to pull his hand away, warm fingers wrapped around his wrist tightly.

"I don't know what to do." John mumbled, words falling from his lips like stones as he stared at Kankri with wide eyes. "What if he's..." His grip tightened painfully around Kankri's wrist. "What do I do?" He whispered.

Kankri shook his head and shifted so he could straddle John's feet and wrap his free arm around the hero's shoulder. "You can't... think like that right now, John. You absolutely can't. The only thing you can do is wait and believe me, I know it's torture." His throat tightened and pushed down the burning of tears in his eyes as he pressed his cheek into John's hair. "But the only thing we can do is wait and hope for the best."

"I'm sorry." John mumbled, his voice tight as he latched onto Kankri's sweater with both hands. "I'm sorry. He's your brother. You must be... I'm so sorry."

Kankri smiled softly, a sad kind of smile, as he moved to sit beside John with his back against the wall. John followed him, keeping his head buried in the troll's chest as Kankri wrapped both arms around him. It was an awkward position but none of that mattered. Kankri had his moment to break down. He had been taken care of and though tears still threatened to fall and his chest felt like someone took a scoop and ripped out everything inside of him, he felt it was his turn to do some comforting.

"Cronus is going to be alright." Kankri murmured softly, tucking John's head against his shoulder as he pet through his hair. "That is less I need to worry about. And I do have faith in Aradia and Jane. I know they won't let Karkat go without a fight. And Karkat, well, he's tough."

"I know.  _I know._ " John's shoulders started to shake as he pressed his face into Kankri's throat, his hand gripping tightly onto that black sweater. "But I can't help it. All I can think about is... What if... Oh maker." A soft hiccup came from John's throat.

"It's okay to cry, John." Kankri mumbled, letting his eyes slip closed as he tightened his arms around the hero.

And it seemed that was all John needed to hear. He needed to know it was  _okay_ to feel what he was feeling. He needed someone to tell him to let it out and feel exactly what he felt. Because he knew Kankri felt it too. So when the sobs ripped up his throat, he didn't stop them this time. He buried them into Kankri's throat and let them wreck through his body, leaving him breathless, broken and a mess all over the floor.

"He's going to be okay." Kankri breathed out, tears slipping from the corners of his eyes as he held John tightly, letting the hero sob against him and release every amount of pain he had been holding back.

It hadn't been easy for either of them to see what had happened to Karkat. Karkat was Kankri's family but he was also everything to John. Kankri knew that. He knew exactly what they meant to one another. So he understood John's pain. Hell, he'd gone through the exact same pain not all that long ago when he was sure he'd never see Cronus again. It wasn't easy having the troll back in his life only to possibly lose him forever once again. He still wasn't sure what he was going to do about the two of them but at the moment, it didn't matter. All that mattered was Cronus was alive and he was going to be alight.

Now John was feeling the exact same thing only to have no closure. No one had told him the progress of Karkat and the only hope they had was that Aradia and Jane were still working on him. They wouldn't give up easily and that was what they had to cling to. Karkat was strong. He wouldn't die that easily.

"I just want to see him." John chocked out softly against Kankri's throat.

"You will. You'll see him John. Smiling and calling you a dork for worrying so much."

Pained laughter came from John's throat and Kankri could feel the press of a smile against his skin. "I'd give anything to hear him call me dork one more time." He breathed out softly, sniffing as he shifted against the troll.

"You will."

John nodded, his breath heaving but the hard sobs fading for the time being. Tears still slipped from his eyes but with Kankri's warm arms around him tightly, he didn't feel like he was going to completely fall apart like before.

"Will you let me clean you up? For Karkat?"

John sniffed and nodded, nuzzling slightly against the spot behind Kankri's pointed ear. "For Karkat."

Kankri smiled softly, slipping his fingers over John's hair once more before dropping his hand. Slowly, they both moved to their feet and once they were steady, Kankri pulled the sleeves over his hands so he could clean the tears away from John's dirty face. John leaned into his touch, closing his bloodshot eyes so Kankri could brush over them with the soft fabric of his sweater.

"Porrim has a change of clothes for you. She is the troll from earlier." Kankri commented softly, focusing his attention on cleaning up John's face. "We'll clean you up, get you in clean clothes and immediately come right back here. I'll sit with you."

John sniffed, peeking open a sliver of blue. "Aren't you going to see Cronus?"

Kankri bit into his lower lip. "Cronus is alright. Eridan is with him and he hasn't woken up yet anyway."

John nodded since he didn't want to fight Kankri on it. His eyes scanned over the troll, taking in his swollen eyes and the bandage around his head. Carefully, he lifted a hand to brush over the side of Kankri's head, running a thumb over his bandages. "Are you hurt?"

"I'll be alright, John. Nothing to be concerned over."

"Karkat won't be happy that you were hurt." He mumbled, his eyes glazed over slightly as he pet Kankri's hair.

"He has no right to be upset with me after what he did." The words came out with a growl that made both of them flinch.

"You're... angry with him." John stated, his eyes widening slightly as he dropped a hand to his side.

"That is not of importance."

"But it  _is_."

Kankri sighed softly and turned away from John, reaching behind him to grab onto the hero's wrist as they started walking. "This is not the time to discuss this."

"Kankri, you're  _mad_ at him." John stated in awe, hurrying up to walk beside the troll so he could peer down into his face that Kankri tried to hide with his hair.

"I feel a lot of emotions at the moment, John. We've all been through a lot in the past few hours."

"But you're  _angry with Karkat_."

"Of course I'm angry!" Kankri snapped suddenly, his feet stilling as he turned toward John. His lips curled over his fangs in a hiss as tears pooled in his eyes. "He  _planned_ this. He took my place  _on purpose_." Kankri winced at the sudden throbbing in his head and pulled away from John, wrapping his arms around himself. "It should have been me. It was me that Kurl wanted; Not Karkat and Karkat  _knew_ that."

"Kankri..."

"I"m sorry, John. I am. I'm upset and worried but I'm  _angry_ because it should be me in that room and not... Anyone but  _him_."

"Kankri." John stepped forward quickly and wrapped his arms around Kankri's shaking shoulders tightly, pulling the plump troll against his chest. "It's okay. It's okay to be angry. It's okay."

"I'm supposed to be taking care of you." Kankri mumbled against John's chest.

"We can take care of each other." John nuzzled against Kankri's clean hair, his eyes taking note of the bandage wrapped around a nubby horn. "You're allowed to be angry. I'm a bit angry at him too. More worried and hurt and more worry but a little angry too."

"He'll be okay."

"Yeah, He'll be okay."

* * *

There was a light smile on Kankri's lips as he brushed slightly damp hair away from John's bloodshot eyes. The hero didn't flinch at the touch, only allowed it to happen as he tugged at the sleeves of the shirt he was given to wear. It was a dark color and fit him well along with dark pants that were obviously made for a troll and not a human but John still looked good in them. Hell, John looked better in anything other than those blood stained clothes of his.

"You look a little better." Kankri mumbled softly, trailing his claws down the curve of John's face before stepping out of the hero's personal bubble. "Not covered in blood at least."

John hummed in his throat as he shrugged. He did feel a bit better. Less gross but his eyes burned and his chest was still heaving with heavy breaths. He couldn't seem to catch his breath for some reason and he was sure it had everything to do with the fact that he still didn't know Karkat's situation.

"Where are your weapons?" Kankri asked offhandedly as he moved across the bathroom to push John's bloody clothes into a pile with his own in the floor. Porrim would clean them up to the best of her ability or she would toss them. Kankri was sure neither of them really cared what happened to them.

"Um." John blinked, lifting his head slightly to glanced around the room. "I think... Rose took them."

"I have your pistols to give back to you. They're in the sitting room we were left in."

"It's fine."

"I'd like to return them to you."

John bit into his lower lip as he tossed the door a glance. "Right now?"

Kankri sighed softly as he came up to John's side. "It will only take a moment. And I think we should get some food in you as well while we're out. Then we can go right back to Karkat." John's nose crinkled and he gave the door another pathetic look. "We might be sitting there for a while John. You need to eat something. For Karkat."

The sigh he released was heavy and full of more emotion than one person could possibly stand. "For Karkat."

"Thank you." Kankri slipped his fingers into John's carefully, smiling faintly when the hero curled their hands together.

Leaving the bathroom behind, Kankri led John down hallway after hallway, trying to recall how to get back to the sitting room he had left earlier. Thankfully, it was the sound of voices that led him down the right hallway.

Dave was standing outside the door with Jade, Rose and Kanaya. Jade was partially asleep on Rose's shoulder as the two sat on the floor together. Kanaya stood with her back against the wall beside Rose but she was close enough for them to touch if need be. Dave was on his feet, shifting from side to side in an anxious manner as he murmured to the three women.

When the sound of Kankri's and John's footsteps reached them, they all turned to look. Dave was the only one to move, twisting on his heel suddenly and marching his way up to them.

"Have you heard anything?" The words were out of his mouth quickly and they came to a stop.

John shook his head, his eyes moving from Dave to check on the other heroes. "They kicked me out."

"Shit." Dave cursed under his breath, bringing up a hand to gnaw on his nails.

"I'm making him eat something and then we're going back." Kankri explained.

"Equius brought some food not too long ago." Kanaya spoke up, motioning to the door of the sitting room. "You're welcome to have some."

"Thank you." Kankri nodded and started moving, tugging John along with him. The hero followed obediently, his eyes focused on the ground.

Dirk and Jake were still in the room, sitting on one of the couches together. Jake was cleaning one of his pistols while Dirk watched. They glanced up when the others entered the room and then they were suddenly on their feet.

"We have not heard anything." Kankri explained quickly, avoiding the gazes of the heroes as he moved John over to the plates of simple food lined up on one of the elegant tables against a wall. "Eat something." Kankri ordered, releasing John's hand so the hero could do just that.

John nodded and picked up some weird looking fruit to nibble on. He wasn't hungry in the least but he didn't want to argue with Kankri. Blue eyes watched as Kankri crossed the room to pick up the pistols he had stashed on a table. One of them wasn't in that great of shape thanks to being tossed around and he paused to inspect it.

"I was thinking about cleaning them up." Jake stated, causing Kankri to flinch at how close the hero suddenly was. Jake offered him a soft smile and motioned to the pistols. "You're awfully good with them."

"Ah. Thank you." Kankri's hands were shaking as he handed the pistols over to Jake. "I'm glad to be rid of them."

"You're not really a fighter, are you?" Jake mused softly as he turned to place the pistols with his on a table.

"No." Kankri closed his eyes tightly, trying to shove the memories of what he had done far away in the back of his mind. They were things to be dealt with at a later time. He could deal with the fact that he had killed someone, a few someones, later. For now, he had to focus on what was at hand. Like his brother. And Cronus. "Cronus is okay."

Jake's eyes widened slightly. "He is?"

The troll nodded like his head was much to heavy for his neck. "He's not awake but he's alive."

"That's great!" A genuine smile came over Jake's lips and when he reached for Kankri, the troll didn't even flinch. Jake's arms were strong and warm around him, holding him tightly as a soft laugh came from his chest. "I knew he'd be alright in my sister's care."

"Have you seen him?" Dirk was there suddenly, slipping up to Kankri's side with an expression neither of them could read.

"No. I was taking care of John. Eridan is with him." Kankri twisted slightly in Jake's hold so he could glance at Dirk. "Thank you... for, being there." The words came out soft, a blush curling to his cheeks as he quickly glanced away.

Dirk swallowed hard and stood up a little straighter, moving to rub the back of his neck with a gloved hand. "Yeah. Uh, No problem."

"You two are ridiculous." Jake mused softly, a playful smile on his lips as he nudged Dirk's arm with his elbow.

"Yo, Kankri." Dave perked a brow at the two heroes crowding the troll but seemed to shrug it up as he jabbed his thumb at John; who was standing by the table still nibbling on the same piece of fruit. "I'm taking the zombie back to Karkat."

Kankri's spine prickled and he gently pushed away from Jake to approach Dave. "That's alright."

"Nah, look, you have your own shit to do." Dave explained, his voice tight with emotion as he wrapped one arm around himself. "Go see Cronus. I'll make sure John eats and we'll both wait for Karkat."

Garnet took in the way Dave tugged on his bottom lip with his teeth and how his hands were shaking slightly. The hero was just as concerned as the rest of them, maybe even on the same level as John and Kankri. So, he nodded. "I know you'll take care of him."

That was all Dave needed to hear. He spun around quickly and after a few murmured words to John, the two were gathering some food in their hands and quickly leaving the room. Kankri's job was done. He didn't need to be the only one to support John. John had a family and though Dave looked like he was ready to cry at any moment, Kankri was certain the two would be fine on their own. John probably needed some time alone with his best bro anyway.

"You look a lot better." Jake commented, giving Kankri a tender smile as he patted a hand over the troll's shoulder.

"Porrim is a miracle worker." Kankri sighed softly, rubbing a hand up the sleeve of his sweater before he crossed the room to snatch up an apple. He rubbed it on his sweater for a minute before he took a bite, finding the food to taste like ash in his mouth. He pretended not to notice the way Jake and Dirk whispered to each other behind him. He also pretended not to see Jake nudge Dirk in his direction and he certainly didn't acknowledge the flush on those pale cheeks.

With a heavy sigh, Dirk shuffled his way over to Kankri, his hands shoved into his pockets and his shoulders curled up. They were quiet for a moment as they stood together while Kankri focused on his apple that he couldn't really taste. He knew he had to eat but he just really didn't want to. His nerves were on edge and the more he thought, the worse it became. Cronus was okay, yes, that was good. But there was still Karkat to worry about and Kankri couldn't bare to think about that too much. He was barely holding himself together as it was.

They were supposed to be celebrating. They had  _won_. The Grand High-blood was dead; defeated. Feferi was queen, in her rightful place and Kankri and Karkat no longer had to worry about their blood as they once had. The land would take some time to change but it was moving in the right direction and that was all that mattered. Kankri had his friends and family back. He had... He had Cronus back.

Alternia was going to see a new light and that was what was most important. But they couldn't celebrate. It's not as if they thought they would come out of the battle unscathed. They were not that delirious. But for one of them to... They had not expected this. Everyone had a wound in same manner, some worse than others, but nothing compared to Karkat or Cronus. And Cronus was completely unexpected.

Kankri could only rely on the words John had assured him of. Jane was special. She could heal any wound. He could only pray that she could heal his brother because he couldn't bare to even think of a world without Karkat. Even the thought of thinking about it made his throat tight with emotion and his stomach to twist. He no longer wanted the apple. But he finished up the last bite and swallowed it down with much more effort than it should have taken.

"Would you, um, like me to go with you?" Dirk's voice was a light mumble, his head titled upward like he wasn't talking to Kankri at all.

The troll glanced at him in slight surprise and could see the flicker of golden orange watching him from behind dark goggles. "I... That would be nice."

Dirk nodded and motioned toward the door with an elbow. Kankri took a deep breath and nodded, leaving the room with Dirk in tow. Kanaya, Rose and Jade had moved from the hallway, presumably to get some rest somewhere and Jake seemed fine left on his own to focus on cleaning the pistols.

Kankri hugged himself as they walked down the hallways, going back the way Kankri and John had gone to go to the west wing. His thoughts floated between Karkat and Cronus and he couldn't help but wonder what Cronus would think when he woke up. What would become of them? There was so much for them to talk about but it was obvious to Kankri, now more than ever, that he was still deeply in love with the seadweller.

"What are you thinking about?" Dirk asked, his voice soft as his eyes remained on the wall to his right.

"Cronus."

"Haven't changed much, have you?" The hero let out a breath of a laugh.

"I assume now that we are alone, you are actually willing to act like we did spend two weeks together and you know more about me than I would prefer anyone to know?"

Dirk's shoulders tensed at Kankri's harsh words and he curled in on himself slightly. "I'm sorry, okay. Jake's the only one who knows about you and none of this has been easy. I... I didn't know what you wanted from me."

"I want you to stop acting like we hardly know one another."

"It was two weeks, Kan."

The troll shivered slightly at the shortened version of his name. "You know it was more than that."

"Okay." Dirk sighed softly. "But, fuck, don't you feel awkward? Cause I fucking do."

"Can we just pretend we didn't do those things to each other for the time being and focus on how you're the only one here who can fully comprehend how I am feeling right now?" Kankri's tone held a hint of begging to it, a little high pitched and exasperated.

Dirk's jaw tightened and without a word he slipped an arm around Kankri's shoulders, bringing to troll close to his side as they continued to walk. "Sorry."

"Thank you." He sighed softly, letting the hero's warmth seep into his skin.

"Go on."

Kankri inhaled deeply. "I'm not even sure how to think right now. Seeing him, broken and beaten... knowing he's been here this whole time..." He shook his head as Dirk squeezed his shoulder tightly. "I feel guilty. I feel absolutely horrible."

"You didn't know, Kan. No one knew. He  _left_ you. Why would you ever think something happened that prevented him from returning? Besides, you were a fucking mess. And he did that. Yeah, I feel bad he went through all that but the bastard should have never left in the first place."

"Dirk..." Garnet glanced up at him.

"Look, you're gonna be feeling all kinds of things right now. But the thing to focus on is that he's alive. You can talk out all that shit later."

"You're unhappy." Kankri pointed out, a strange feeling curling around in his stomach.

Dirk grit his teeth and using his free hand, he pushed his goggles up his face so golden orange could meet garnet. "Course I am. I'm all kinds of fucked up cause I've wanted to punch his lights out since I met you but also pretty damn worried after all the shit that happened to him. And then there's Karkat. Fuck." He hissed through his teeth, brushing his bangs back with the palm of his hand. "I'm worried about you."

Warmth swirled around Kankri's chest as he leaned a little closer to the hero. "I'll be alright."

The hero let out a soft sound of disbelief but didn't press the issue any farther. They fell into silence as they walked, turning corner after corner in their little adventure to the west wing. It dawned on Kankri about halfway there that he hadn't the faintest idea which room Cronus was actually in but he was sure they would figure it out once they got there. At the very least, he could follow the scent of a high-blood.

"So Jake." Kankri spoke up quietly, his eyes focused on the floor as they walked, his arms crossed over his chest.

Dirk flinched slightly, a flush curling over his pale lightly freckled cheeks as he glanced upwards. "Yeah. Jake."

"I'm happy for you." The troll dropped his gaze to their feet. "I truly mean that."

Dirk's fingers slipped over Kankri's shoulder and pulled him just a bit closer. "Thanks."

"How did it happen, exactly?"

"Uh." Dirk chewed on his bottom lip as he ran a hand through his hair, avoiding looking at Kankri. "I took your advice."

Garnet glanced up in surprise. "You did?"

"It was good advice." Dirk puffed his cheeks slightly as he pointedly avoided eye contact with the troll.

"It was solid advice. I'm just surprised you actually took it."

"Well... You." Dirk shrugged, suddenly wishing he hadn't taken his goggles off so those stunning eyes couldn't read him so easily. "You made yourself pretty clear."

Kankri hummed softly and focused his eyes back to the marble floor. "As long as you are happy, I could never complain."

"I am happy."

"That is what matters."

"And you?"

"What about me?" Garnet glanced up, seeing golden orange watching him from the corner of Dirk's eyes.

"Happy? You know, aside from the obvious.  _Were_ you happy, is what I'm asking I guess."

"Oh. Yes." Kankri nodded, curling his fingers a little tighter around his arms. "Well, No. Content really. But then Karkat came along and yes, I was happy then."

"And now?"

"I don't know."

Dirk nodded in understanding and tucked Kankri just a bit closer to his side. The shorter troll fit well against him and that thought suddenly sparked memories along his mind that he quickly shoved down. He rubbed at his mouth with the back of his hand and glanced to the wall, trying to hid the flush of color along his cheek bones.

"I'm surprised you told Jake."

Dirk swallowed hard, his heart thumping a little harder. "He  _did_ want to know where I was for two weeks."

"I thought, perhaps, when you were trying to tell someone you loved them, it wasn't the brightest idea to mention past relationships."

"It's Jake. Besides, I wasn't... It..." Dirk sighed softly and flicked his hand, as if trying to brush the whole matter under a table. "I can't lie to him."

"He does have an honest face."

"I mean I physically can't. I've tried. Bastard sees through every damn time."

The breath of a laugh that came from Kankri's throat made Dirk's lips turn upwards lightly. "Well, that is a good thing, is it not?"

"Yeah. I guess."

"I can see why you've always loved him." Kankri pondered aloud, his eyes focused ahead of them as they turned another corner. "He's... Pleasant. Among other things."

"Pleasant?" Dirk snorted softly. "Yeah, sure, he's pleasant."

"He watched over me during the battle even after I lost myself a bit. He did not have to do that. But he did. And I am grateful to him for that. To both of you, really."

Dirk shrugged it off, giving Kankri's shoulder a squeeze. "Do you have any idea where we're going?"

"I have a vague thought."

"Better than nothing." Dirk hummed and glanced at Kankri from the corner of his eyes, seeing the way the troll was gnawing on his bottom lip. "Is it hard being back here?"

"Given the circumstances, yes."

"Kankri!" The voice was a shout and they both stopped abruptly to turn around, seeing Eridan coming around the corner they had just come from. His hair was a mess, his face a bit sullen but there was brightness in his eyes and confidence in his stride as he quickly approached them. "I'vve been looking for you."

"I wasn't exactly sure where you were." Kankri admitted softly, glancing to the side as Dirk put space between them. "Porrim did not inform me."

"That's fine." Eridan brushed it off and quickly grabbed onto the mutant's hand. "Come on. He's awwake."

"W-What?" Kankri stammered, his feet stumbling as Eridan started to tug him along. "He's-But-" He glanced back to Dirk who stood there, his hands shoved into his pockets and a slight smile on his face. The hero nodded at him and made no move to follow them.

"He's asking for you."

Kankri's heart thumped as he glanced at Eridan. "Is he?"

"You wwanna see him, don't you?" The seadweller glanced back at the other troll, his fingers wrapped tightly around Kankri's wrist.

"I-Yes-Of course."

Eridan's brow twitched slightly but he said nothing more as he led Kankri down another hallway. There was a frown on Eridan's lips but Kankri's mind was spinning. Cronus was awake. He was awake and he was alive. He was fine. He was going to be okay. And he wanted Kankri. He was asking for Kankri. The warmth that swirled around in his chest made his feet stumble slightly but Eridan didn't bother to stop pulling him along.

Garnet focused on the floor as his feet shuffled along, his free hand clutched to his chest, claws catching in the thick fabric of his sweater. What was he going to say? What would they say to each other? Kankri had been so worried about Cronus being okay that he didn't want to focus on what they would even say to one another if the seadweller woke up. So now, his mind was spinning around in circles and his breath was rather hard to find.

"I wwas going to tell you evverything." Eridan spoke up suddenly, glancing to the side to meet stunned pupil blown eyes. "But he wwants to tell you himself."

"I didn't-I'm sorry. I should have been-"

"Don't bother, Kankri." Eridan sneered slightly and focused his eyes in front of them. "You'vve got Kar to wworry about too."

A lump popped up into Kankri's throat at the thought and he suddenly felt sick to his stomach. He wasn't where he felt he should be. He should have been at Cronus' side when he woke up but he'd been so worried over John. Worrying over John gave him something else to focus on and he was able to finally breathe. But now? Now he was sure something had stolen his breath and he couldn't seem to find it.

"Look." Eridan stopped suddenly, causing Kankri to stumble into him. "No one here is any type of all right wwith wwhats happenin'." He turned, grabbing Kankri's chin with his claws and forced the mutant troll to meet his eyes. The seriousness in Eridan's expression made Kankri's stomach sink and the claws on his skin made his skin crawl. "But he fuckin' needs you."

Kankri swallowed hard. "I was not intending to ignore him."

"Sure seemed that wway." Eridan spat softly.

Something deep inside Kankri reared its ugly head and he grabbed Eridan's wrist, ripping the seadweller's hand away from his face. Fire sparked in garnet eyes and he tossed Eridan's arm as far away from him as he possibly could. "My brother is  _dying_. You more than anyone in this moment understands  _exactly_ how that feels." Kankri hissed, his teeth pulling over his fangs in a way that reminded Eridan of Karkat. "You think I wanted to be away from Cronus? You think I am alright with not being by his side when he awoke? No. I am not." He hissed as he approached on Eridan, making the seadweller shrink back slightly.

"As if you have any understanding as to what I have been through; part of me still wants to run away and pretend none of this is happening." Kankri continued, stepping into Eridan's personal space until the troll was back into a wall, his violet eyes wide. "I had accepted that he was gone. I had accepted that I would never see him again and he had left me. I was not prepared for this. And on top of Cronus, I have Karkat. Who, as far as any of us know, is fucking  _dying_." Eridan winced at the spat curse word. "My brother, Eridan, your once moirail, is very possibly dying in that room," he pointed behind them in the general direction, " and there is not a single thing any of us are capable of doing. And John is a broken mess. Someone has to stand up and do something. I had to. I had to handle him. He is  _my family_ as much as Karkat.

"I spent  _sweeps_  believing that Cronus was never coming back because he didn't want to and now, I come to find that he never came back because he  _couldn't_. Because he was trapped in a hell created by a troll who wanted  _me._ Caged, tortured," Kankri swallowed hard, his hands shaking at his sides as they formed tight fists, "left for dead all because of  _me_. Cronus almost died because of  _me._ Karkat  _is_ dying because of  _me_."

Kankri took a pause, taking in a big gulp of air. Eridan thought it was his chance to speak, to try to convince Kankri that no, it was not his fault, but the mutant abruptly pushed forward, grabbing Eridan by the collar and pressing their bodies together, a hiss on his lips.

"And you think you can sneer at me, look at me like I'm trash and treat me like some lower being just because you wrongly assume I don't give a care for your brother and his position." Claws wrapped tightly in the fabric of Eridan's shirt as Kankri's nose crinkled, anger flaring over his expression. "You dare think you can treat me like that you pretentious  _dick._ I advise you take a moment to check your privilege." His voice slipped into some dark, and deep, something that Eridan had never heard before but sparked memories of when they were younger. "Take a moment to rethink exactly who you are dealing with."

Kankri let out a noise of disgust and pulled away from Eridan, brushing off his sweater as if touching the seadweller had been the worst thing he had ever done. The snarl on his face was reminiscent of Karkat but it was much more terrifying coming from Kankri; the troll who was typically relaxed and pleasant. Eridan had to swallowed hard a few times before he could speak again.

"You still lovve him."

"Of course I do, you blustering prick!" Kankri snapped, his eyes widening at his own words. A hand came to cover his mouth, a flush curling over his cheeks as he quickly glanced away. He was ashamed that he had allowed his anger to take control. It was a few hours ago all over again. He didn't know what was happening to him but he needed to figure it out. He couldn't keep snapping at people. That wasn't him.

Eridan let out a heavy sigh and dug a hand into his hair, tugging at it gently. "My apologies, Kankri. I suppose evveryone is stressed at the moment."

"Yes. They are." Kankri's shoulders relaxed slightly as his arms wrapped around his torso in a hug. "I am sorry I snapped at you."

Eridan nodded, casting a glance to the side. "Just to be clear, that hero and you..."

"Is that what this is about?" Dark eyebrows shot up. "I'll admit, we have a past, as I am sure you aware of, but that is not of importance at the moment. I can not... promise you anything involving your brother and I but I can tell you I love him, I've always loved him, and I will continue to do so. And I would like to see him now."

"Right." Eridan nodded and pushed off the wall, shoving his hands into the pockets of his pants as he turned down the hallway.

They kept to themselves as they walked down the hallway, passing door after door, statue after statue, window after window. The sound of their footsteps echoed around them but that was the only sound. Kankri was still trying to calm himself. His heart was racing and his blood rushing, anger still pooling in his stomach for some reason. He wasn't fond of the look Eridan had given him. A look of slight disgust, like he was lower than him and not worthy of a single thing. Kankri  _hated_ that look. He'd received it so much from Kurl that it became something he detested with a burning passion.

Not to mention, Eridan looked enough like Cronus that it  _hurt_.

Kankri suddenly wished he could just curl up and sleep for a while, without worries haunting him.

"Here." Eridan spoke, coming to a stop outside of an unassuming door. "I'll leave you two alone. I should... check on Karkat."

"He's not allowed visitors at the moment."

"Yeah well. Then I'll go wait with the others." Eridan shrugged and met Kankri's eyes after a moment. They nodded to one another, an understanding falling over them before Eridan turned on in his heel and left down the hallway they had come. Kankri watched him until he disappeared around a corner, leaving the mutant troll all alone in the hallway.

The door was a simple door. Wooden and polished with a brass handle. Nothing special about it. Except what was on the other side. Kankri's breath caught in his throat and his hand was shaking as he reached out to grasp the handle. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. He had to take the time to remember that he and Cronus had already seen each other. Cronus had been barely alive at that time but the things Kankri had told him, he had meant. Yes there was a lot to discuss and even more to understand but at the moment, Kankri could focus on the fact that Cronus was alive. That was what mattered.

The door made a soft click when it opened and Kankri leaned in, peaking around the door into the room. It was dimly lit by a candle on the bedside and the curtains over the window were drawn closed. The bedroom was extravagant with a four post canopy bed that quickly drew Kankri's attention. He slipped inside the room and shut the door behind him carefully but the sound of it clicking shut still disturbed the troll in bed.

"K-Kankri?" The hair on the back of Kankri's neck prickled and he pressed back against the door, garnet eyes locking with sparkling violet.

Cronus was smiling softly, propped up with pillows against the headboard so he could sit properly. He looked different than the last time Kankri saw him, with more color in his skin and less blood. He was cleaned, taken care of, and though he was covered in bandages from what Kankri could see, he was alive.

" _ **H-Hello**_ ," Kankri cleared his throat as he pushed off the door, "Cronus."

The smile that broke across the seadweller's handsome face made Kankri's heart thump. " _ **Hey.**_ " He breathed softly, his voice still weak but still the same Cronus Kankri knew all too well.

It was a rush of feeling that pushed Kankri forward. Those violet eyes were so bright and Cronus' smile was so warm. He was so happy to see Kankri and that made Kankri's heart swell too large for his chest in that very moment. He shuffled across the floor, his legs moving on their own and he couldn't bare to look away from Cronus' face.

It was really him. He looked healthy again. Still not 100% but close enough that it was something to celebrate. Especially since the last time Kankri saw Cronus, Death was breathing down the seadweller's neck.

Cronus lifted his hand carefully, wincing slightly but ignoring it as he reached out for Kankri. The mutant didn't hesitate to take that offered hand, visibly shaking at the feel of Cronus' cool skin sliding against the warmth of his palm. Their fingers clutched together tightly and Kankri sat down on the edge of the bed without a second thought.

They were quiet as they studied one another, Kankri checking Cronus for any more wounds and Cronus just in slight disbelief that Kankri was actually there. After a moment, Cronus brought Kankri's hand to his face, making the troll cup his cool cheek as he nuzzled into it. Warmth pooled in Kankri's chest and he had to suddenly gasp for breath.

" _ **You look better.**_ " Kankri mumbled, his eyes a bit wide as he watched Cronus nuzzle into his hand. " _ **Much better.**_ "

" _ **That hero is a miracle worker.**_ " Cronus murmured with a slight shrug of a shoulder, focused intently on the feel of Kankri's warm palm against his check. " _ **Though, she could only do so much.**_ " His lips pressed against Kankri's palm as he spoke, brushing coolness over warm skin and sending shivers up Kankri's arm.

" _ **What do yo mean?**_ "

Cronus hummed softly, a sliver of violet meeting garnet. " _ **Eridan didn't tell you?**_ "

" _ **He said you wanted to tell me yourself.**_ " Kankri's spine prickled and he sat up straight suddenly, his fingers twitching as he reached out to grasp onto Cronus's other hand.

" _ **And he actually listened? Damn, how long have I been gone?**_ "

" _ **S-Seven.**_ " Kankri chocked on the word. " _ **Seven sweeps.**_ "

Something painful flashed over Cronus' face but he didn't comment on it as he brought both of Kankri's hands up to his face, so he could kiss each palm like it was a treasure.

"C-Cronus." Kankri swallowed hard and moved forward slightly, curling his fingers around Cronus'. " _ **Is something wrong?**_ "

" _ **Lots of things wrong, Kanny.**_ " They both winced at the nickname.

" _ **Please.**_ " Kankri's voice came out more desperate than he would have liked and when those stunning eyes met his, his heart hammered hard in his chest. " _ **It's been a horrible day. We can, we can talk about it. Later. We will. I promise you we will. Just, for now...**_ " He took a deep breath as he moved his hands, sliding his palms over Cronus's cheeks so he could cup his face. He searched violet eyes, a faint smile curling to his lips. " _ **You're alive. I just want a moment to be happy.**_ "

The laugh that came from Cronus' throat was dry and strained but he nodded in agreement. " _ **Come here, Kanny.**_ "

Kankri didn't need to be told twice. He pulled away from Cronus only to curl up beside him, tucking against his side the best he could, resting one hand over Cronus' stomach while the other clutched a cold hand. Cronus let the troll rest his head on his shoulder and he pressed his mouth into Kankri's hair as soon as they settled.

" _ **Does it hurt?**_ " Kankri asked softly, his eyes closing at the overwhelming feeling of completeness that surrounded him.

" _ **Not anymore. You're fine.**_ " Kankri moved a little closer, pressing his thigh against Cronus' as they sat beside each other hands curled together between them. " _ **What happened to you, hm?**_ " He pressed his lips to the bandage around Kankri's head, his eyes a little hazy.

" _ **I think I cracked a horn.**_ "

Cronus made a soft noise of discomfort at the idea and shifted enough to plant a kiss to the horn that was wrapped up with bandage, making a faint purr come from Kankri's throat. " _ **Is this okay?**_ "

Kankri shifted and pressed his face into Cronus' neck, inhaling the scent of a troll he was sure he would never see again. " _Please_   _Cronus_."

Carefully, Cronus shifted the arm between them to wrap around Kankri's shoulders, pulling them closer together. Kankri pressed as close as he could to the other without hurting him, resting his lips against Cronus' throat for only a moment before he slipped a hand up the troll's cheek. Carefully, expertly, Kankri turned Cronus' head toward him and when their lips met, it was if they'd never been apart. The explosion of warmth over Kankri's skin was more than he could ever ask for. The kiss may have been simple, but it was more than either of them could take.

Cronus was shaking slightly when Kankri pulled away and buried his head in Cronus' neck. The seadweller smiled, nuzzling into soft black hair as happiness swirled through his body. They could talk later. They had plenty of time to talk; all the time in the world really. So for now, they would enjoy the feeling of being together; taking a moment to forget the world and enjoy each other. They both needed it more than they were willing to admit.

* * *

_Everything looks different now._

_All this time my head was down._

_He came along and showed me how to let go._

_I can't remember where I'm from._

_All I know is who I've become._

_That our love has just begun like ohhh._

_Something happens when I hold him._

_He keeps my heart from getting broken._

_When the days get short and the nights get a little frozen,_

_We hold each other._

* * *

The numbness was the only thing Karkat could focus on for a moment. He lingered in that area between reality and dreams. He felt like he was floating and his mind was so foggy, he couldn't think. It took a few moments for him to realize that the dull burning pain in his lower back was reality and he clung to that, forcing his mind to push forward through the fog. As consciousness slowly found its way back into Karkat's body, he had to take a few more minutes to feel out his body.

At first, he thought he couldn't move and the spike of panic that shot up his spine made him gasp sharply. But then, he focused, and wiggled his fingertips. The numbness faded and slowly, his fingers and toes started to move. Life came back into his body and the dull pain in his lower back was quickly becoming a throbbing burning pain that made him wince in discomfort. His mind still couldn't focus clearly. Where was he? What happened? Why did he hurt? He could only focus on that pain and try to figure out where he was.

His body wasn't in the mood to listen to him too well apparently and as he tried to pry his eyes open, a shock of pain made his entire body freeze. His breath came hard at that moment and the light noise he made in the back of his throat was loud enough to cut through the silence in the room. His body shifted then, though he wasn't sure why, he certainly had not moved, but his body dipped and the pain was sharp again, his teeth pressing together in a hiss.

"K-Karkat." The voice was soft, cracked, and full of emotion that Karkat's brain wasn't focused enough to pick up on.

The troll groaned, a scratchy sound in the back of his throat as he tried to move some part of his body. His fingers and toes were still the only things to listen to him and his eyes just didn't want to open yet. He felt paralyzed and that terrified him. What the bloodyfuck happened to him?"

"Karkat." The voice was rushed now, sounding shocked and relieved and there was a sudden warmth against his side. "Karkat. Are you awake?"

Karkat's nose crinkled and after biting down hard into his tongue, his eyes abruptly snapped open. The world spin, his vision so blurry he thought he was blind but then, everything came into sharp focus and he locked onto glistening blue.

John.

Right.

_John._

Everything came flooding back to Karkat so quickly he had to shut his eyes again and groan in pain.

"Karkat." John's voice was soft, barely a whisper in the quiet room as he shifted on the bed they were on once again. He was sitting up, near Karkat's shoulders and leaning over the troll, one hand pressed to the other side of Karkat's head. "Where does it hurt?"

Karkat couldn't speak. He could barely focus. The pain was a bit much but he'd had worse. What got to him was the look of devastation on John's face in that instant he could focus on the hero's face. Every detail was vibrant behind his dark eyelids and he could see the dark circles under John's eyes, the tears within those blue orbs, and his chapped lips, most likely from biting them constantly.

Guilt was something Karkat didn't have the chance to feel. The pain was starting to become to much.

"J-Jane." John said, the name tumbling from his lips as he shifted on the bed. "I should-"

Before John even had the chance to slip off the bed, a clawed hand snapped out and wrapped tightly around his wrist. It seemed that even if Karkat didn't have complete control over his body, it still knew what he wanted.

"Okay." John whispered and settled where he was, taking Karkat's hand into his gently. "It's okay. Karkat, it's..." His voice broke off, making something dark swell in Karkat's chest.

Prying open an eye, the troll was able to see John bent over beside him, cradling his hand like it was the most precious thing in the universe. John's eyes were closed tightly but the tears falling freely from them were obvious, slipping down his flushed cheeks as he pressed the back of Karkat's hand to his lips. He was shaking; his shoulders, his hands, his lips as they pressed ever so sweetly to Karkat's cool skin.

The pain became second nature to Karkat as he watched John, letting a strange warm feeling he couldn't explain swirl over his body. His breath caught in his throat and he watched as John linked their fingers together and nuzzle into Karkat's hand. The flinch of John's body as a sob broke free made Karkat's eyes widen and his tongue to thicken.

The sound was like nothing Karkat had ever heard before. It was a completely wrecked sound and not in any way good. Something seemed to break in John at that moment, something deep that Karkat couldn't touch and he could only watch on in slight horror and guilt as his hero sobbed into Karkat's hand, clutching it so tightly it would have probably hurt if his body wasn't focused solely on the pain in his middle.

How was he even alive? He didn't remember too much after Feferi's trident took care of The Grand High-blood. He recalled a lot of concerned faces and a lot of blood but that was about it. Kankri's tear-filled face was burned in his mind and he had to take a deep breath to keep the burning in his eyes from setting free. Another deep breath and he was able to look at John again, startling slightly at the intense hue of blue watching him.

Karkat swallowed thickly, in desperate need of some water but he was completely focused on something else at the moment. Slowly, carefully, gently, he moved the hand John had captured, pushing it along a flushed tanned cheek until he could cup it. John's stomach jumped and his shoulders flinched at the sob that came from his lips. Karkat's brow furrowed as he tugged gently, trying to bring John down to him.

It took a few seconds for John to realize what the troll wanted and he didn't hesitate to comply. He bent over, the angle awkward but both uncaring, and planted his lips to Karkat's willing ones rather hard. It was just the press of lips but it was exactly what they both needed, tasting of salty tears. It was as if kissing Karkat had breathed life into John once more from how the hero gasped hard and deep suddenly.

The bed shifted, jostling Karkat slightly as the hero dipped down further, cradling Karkat's face between his hands as he captured plump lips once again with a burning desperate need. The troll had no complaints, his hand buried lightly in dark hair, too weak to really keep John in place but hell if he wasn't going to try.

John's kisses were hectic but soft. He pulled away only to press back again, over and over, soft kisses to Karkat's lips as if he was trying to make sure the troll was real. Karkat couldn't keep the soft smile from curling to his lips as John continued to give him kisses. Warmth bubbled in his throat, a tear or two slipping from the corner of his eyes and he did his best to keep up with John's kisses.

John's sobs had subsided and that was enough for Karkat. He could handle the physical pain as long as John was okay.

John's kisses shifted from his lips to his cheeks, and then over his nose and his forehead. Every space of skin John could get his lips on, he planted kisses to. It was slightly embarrassing but Karkat couldn't object. This meant something to John and he had no intention of stopping him. He just simply tilted his head in whatever direction John wanted him to, kissing along his jaw line in a way that made the troll's belly burn.

And then it was all ruined.

John shifted, barely putting more weight in one part of the bed but that was all it took. The sudden shift made Karkat's body dip and the worst slap of pain to spike up his body. He hissed through gritted teeth and his fingers clenched in dark hair tightly, his eyes closing against the wave of pain that didn't seem to stop.

John stiffened for only a second before he was gone, tearing himself away from Karkat so quickly he only managed to make it worse. The bed shifted, jostling Karkat's body again and the yelp of pain the troll released made tears well to John's eyes.

"I'm so sorry! Karkat-I"

"Shut up." The troll hissed, his voice only a rumble in his throat as he snapped his eyes to John. The hero stood there by the bed, his hands tight fists and his face so broken it made Karkat's pain even worse. "Accident." The word caught in his throat and then he was coughing, slapping a hand over his mouth as his body shook with painful vibrations.

"J-Jane! I have to get-"

"Don't you  _dare_ ," Karkat gasped sharply, another series of coughs coming from his throat.

John froze on his way to the door and looked at Karkat like he didn't know what to do. He had to get Jane. She could help. He'd been told to go get her as soon as Karkat woke up anyway. The stone, where did he put the stone? John was moving suddenly, glancing around the room for the stupid little stone Rose had given him in case of an emergency.

Karkat wheezed as he settled on the bed, trying to take in deep breaths but it seemed he couldn't fill his lungs with enough air. It was a strange crushing feeling and he panicked slightly. What if he wasn't okay? John didn't say he was okay. John didn't say anything about his condition actually and the troll was a bit too terrified to ask. The pain in his stomach was as bad as it was when the wound first happened so was he... not okay?

Against the pain, Karkat sat up on his elbows, barking out a whine of pain as he did so, gaining John's attention.

"Karkat! No, You have to stay laying down!" The hero was at his side quickly, hands hovering in the air but not touching the troll, like he was terrified he was going to hurt him again.

"The fuck." He coughed out, his lips forming a snarl as he looked down at himself. There were bandages wrapped around his stomach and chest and he was completely nude; not that it mattered. There was a blur of dull blood on the bandages around his lower stomach and they both seemed to notice it at the same time.

"Crap. I have to-Jane-She'll know what to do. Karkat, stay- I have to-"

"Don't you fucking leave me you goatfucking shitbrain." The words were hissed so deeply and with such venom it made John's spine prickle.

"Ah." John stood up straight and started moving around the room again. "The stone. Where the hell did I put that stone?!"

Karkat cleared his dry throat and tried to pull himself up into a sitting position but the pain was too much. He dropped back down onto his elbows, jostling his body again and sending another shock of pain through his system. Well wasn't this just fucking wonderful.

"What the everloving hell is going on in here?" The door opened quickly, gaining the occupants attentions. Dave stood there, his goggles pushed up into his hair and his eyes narrowed. It only took one quick glance around the room for him to see Karkat was awake. "The- What the fuck do you think you're doing?" A flash of anger and worry crossed Dave's pale face before he slammed the door shut behind him and flash stepped to the bed quickly.

"Dave-"

"Dude." Dave cut off the other hero as his hands found Karkat's shoulders as he knelt on the bed. "Lay down." With a push and hands more gentle than Karkat expected, he was forced onto his back and the pain lessened just a bit. "You're not supposed to be up, asshole."

"Well, fucking excuse me." Karkat snipped back, a snarl on his lips as his head hit the pillow.

Dave's eyes narrowed but there was wariness there that made Karkat pause. "You barely survived having your guts ripped out can you just for a motherfucking second take a minute to calm the fuck down and let someone take care of you."

The last thing Karkat had time for was Dave fucking Strider making him feel guilty. But well, whatever. He huffed slightly and relaxed into the bed, wincing slightly at the pain that still flowed through him. The tears slipping from the corners of his eyes were from the pain and the flush on his cheeks was from humiliation. He was not okay with any of this.

"Where is Jane?" Dave turned to John, an eyebrow perked and his lips a fine line.

"I, um, I was going to go get her but Karkat wouldn't let me."

"Not like he can chase after you. She's with the others." There was a moment where John just blinked at him. "Go get her?"

"But-" Blue eyes glanced at Karkat in worry.

"He's fine. The sooner you get her the sooner he'll be fine."

"Makerfucking, John, go get her." Karkat pleaded slightly, unable to handle the pain tearing through his muscles.

"Right!" The hero was gone in a rush of wind, the door flying open and the air around them rushing up for only a second.

The sigh Dave released was heavy and he finally removed his hands from Karkat's shoulders, sure that the troll wouldn't try to sit up again. He moved to his feet, his body feeling heavier than it actually was as he crossed the room to a table where a jug of water sat. Karkat watched the hero move with narrowed eyes, taking in how exhausted he looked, the darkness under his eyes mirroring John's and his lips just as chapped.

"Chances are everything's gonna fucking hurt right now." Dave spoke softly, his voice harsh with use as he made his way back to the bed with a cup of water in hand. He was extra careful as he sat down beside Karkat, wincing in sympathy when the troll hissed. "But here." Carefully, Dave slipped a hand under Karkat's neck and tilted his head up the best he could and pressed the cup to plump lips. The cool water felt like a rush of relief over his tongue and Karkat drank it the best he could, ignoring when some slipped from the corners of his mouth.

Once the cup was empty, Dave placed it on the side table and let Karkat's head rest back against the pillow. Karkat licked at his wet lips, feeling better already with the soreness in his throat eased slightly. Dave's face was unreadable as he settled beside the troll, his hands folding together in his lap. He tugged at his lower lip, his eyes glancing around at everything but Karkat. His shoulders were tense, his nails digging into his skin and it dawned on Karkat right then and there that the hero was scared.

"What's the damage?" Karkat asked softly, glancing down at himself.

"Don't really know. Jane didn't say much." Dave answered honestly, his eyes focusing on his hands in his lap. "It's been four days."

Karkat inhaled sharply. " _Four days_."

"We were waiting for you to wake up before she decided anything."

_Four fucking days_. He'd been out for four days? How much of that had been Jane working on him? How much of that was him laying there with everyone worrying about him? Oh fuck, oh fuck, where was Kankri?

"Were you waiting outside?" The question had been on his mind but it was not the one he had meant to ask.

"Keeping watch." Was Dave's excuse but Karkat saw right through it. And that was okay. They didn't have to say it.

With a soft grunt, Karkat lifted his hand and let it rest over Dave's; neither of them looking at the other. They didn't need words. It was enough just to know. Slowly, Dave's hand shifted until his fingers curled around Karkat's and the soft smile on their lips was more than enough.

"I advise you to not tell the others at the moment." Jane's voice floated down the hallway and in to the room. "Everyone will wish to see him and I am not sure of his condition at the moment."

"I must agree." Aradia's gentle voice came as well.

"But Kankri..." John argued gently.

"Is content with Cronus." Aradia mentioned. "Let us not worry him until need be."

"But, I promised him. I  _promised_  him I would." John's voice sounded desperate and they were close enough for Dave to pull away from Karkat and stand.

For a moment, only the sound of their heels on the marble floor echoed through the room and then, Jane spoke up, "He  _is_  family. I suppose that is fine."

"I'll go get him." Dave spoke up, casting Karkat a glance before disappearing through the door. There was a little conversation with the others before Aradia, Jane and John entered the room.

"Hey." Karkat lifted a hand in a wave, forcing a slight smile in hopes of dissipating the tenseness in the air.

"You sat up, didn't you?" Aradia mumbled softly, a frown coming to her lips as she quickly crossed the floor.

"Didn't know I couldn't."

"Of course you can't." She sighed, pressing her knees into the side of the bed as she leaned over Karkat's body, her hands going to his bandages. Her hair was a bit of a mess, pulled back into a ponytail with a few strands falling free around her face. She looked just as tried as everyone else and Karkat suddenly felt bad that he had managed to make things worse.

"Sorry." He mumbled softly.

Rust eyes glanced up to him, surprise in them before she smiled softly. "It's alright."

"We'll have to change his bandages." Jane commented as she came to the other side of the bed, mirroring Aradia's position.

"So, since you're both here, can someone tell me what the hell's going on with me?" Karkat asked, an eyebrow perked as he glanced between the two women. John hovered near Aradia, closer to Karkat's head but far enough away to not be in their way.

"Do you not remember?" Aradia said conversationally, as she twisted her claws and started to drag one down Karkat's side, slicing the bandages free. "You nearly bled out on the throne room floor. There was an intestine or two wiggling free as well."

Jane and John winced at Aradia's words but she didn't seem to notice their discomfort. She was careful as her claws picked away the bandages, pulling them away so she had access to Karkat's stomach.

"I remember  _that_." Karkat hissed softly, the pain still evident as he glanced down his body. "I'm asking what's going on  _now_."

"There was only so much we were able to do." Jane answered, watching with a close eye as Aradia removed bandages. "My powers only go so far and considering I have no knowledge of how a troll body works, it was rather difficult. Aradia was a large help, but still, you will never be completely okay."

Aradia tensed at those words but continued working. Karkat glanced between them, a sense of dread forming in the bundle of pain. "What... the hell does that mean?"

"With magic, I had to stitch back together everything that troll slashed through." Jane let out a soft sigh, her shoulders heavy. She looked even more tired than everyone else as she crossed her arms over her chest. "It was a slow, careful and tedious process. Aradia had to tell me where everything was supposed to go and what could be... sacrificed."

"Sacrificed?" Karkat's voice went tight as he moved to sit up on his elbows. Aradia's hand shot out suddenly and pushed him back down.

"Don't."

"John?" Jane called.

"Um, yeah." John swallowed hard, his face pale as he called upon the wind. There was a light breeze and then, Karkat couldn't move. He was pinned to the bed and he glanced at John with wide, fearful eyes. "Sorry, Karkat, you can't.. Move. I'm sorry." He quickly glanced away to the floor, clutching fists tightly at his sides.

"We were unsure of how well what we did worked. We needed you to wake up before we were sure." Jane continued, leaning over Karkat's body to peer down as Aradia pulled away the last few bandages. "You had a gaping hole in your stomach, Karkat. I'm honestly surprised you are alive right now and  _I'm_  the one who put you back together."

Everyone's attention was brought down to Karkat's stomach as Aradia pulled the last bandage away. Karkat's breath escaped him as his eyes landed on what appeared to be a messy mangle that happened to be his stomach. It was bleeding, from his moving he assumed, and it wasn't the perfect circle he thought it to be. It was a jagged mess, still circular but not quite. The grey skin was torn and pieced back together to the best of Jane's effort. It would leave one hell of a scar and though the skin had been stitched back together with magic, it still looked gruesome until it healed properly.

"You have a similar one on your back." Aradia pointed out. "Luckily, bones are easier to fix." A soft smile curled to her lips as she glanced up a Karkat. "He did one hell of a number on your spine."

"You're tough as hell, Karkat, I will give you that." Jane said with a nod as she leaned forward, holding out her palms above Karkat's wound. A light blue glow formed and the warm rush of magic through his body eased the pain. "Only time will tell how well of a job we did but, none of your vital organs were harmed, according to Aradia."

"You'd be dead without Ms. Jane, Karkat." Aradia hummed, her voice light as she leaned back to let Jane do her work. "What you did was foolish."

"I know."

She could have pressed, and Karkat expected her to. But she didn't. Sure, it had been sweeps but she still knew the low-blood, well mutant. Karkat was the first to let the guilt of his actions consume him. He didn't need to be told. He already knew.

"It was worth it." He mumbled, glancing to the side to see John staring at the floor with wide blue eyes.

"I am unsure if anyone would agree with you on that." Jane glanced up at him before glancing to John.

"Feferi's queen." Was Karkat's only reasoning.

"That she is." Aradia nodded in agreement, a bright smile coming to her lips.

"And I'll live, yeah?"

"Yes. You will live." Jane answered. "But..." She glanced to Aradia for some help.

"Ah, Yes." Aradia twirled around to face John. "Would you mind flipping him for us?"

John snapped his head up and nodded solemnly, his throat tight. The wind in the room shifted and then it felt like Karkat had a million tiny little hands holding his body as gentle as possible. And then, he was twisting, turning, the pain a dull ache before he was laid on his stomach. The pillow was soft against his cheek and he found he couldn't look away from John. Hell, he couldn't move period but his eyes were fully focused on the hero who looked like he was going to burst into tears at any moment.

"The back is not as bad." Aradia commented.

"Yes, it's healing rather nicely." Jan hummed in agreement, her hands moving to do some more healing on the area just above Karkat's bum.

"There was a but." Karkat pointed out, his voice muffled from being pressed into the pillow. "What's the but?"

"You should rest. You have a lot of healing to do, physically and mentally." Jade spoke, her voice a little tight.

"Everyone needs a lot of rest." Aradia added in.

"I fucking swear, don't you keep shit from me this is my body and I want to fucking know what's wrong with it." Karkat hissed, his lips curling over his fangs in a snarl as he glanced at Aradia from the corner of his eyes. If he could move his head, that would be great but John's wind was preventing him from moving all that much.

Both women shoulders sank at the same time and they glanced at John who was watching them with wide eyes. "Do you mind John?" Aradia asked sweetly, the smile on her face anything but. "We need a moment."

"What? No." Karkat snapped out. "Don't you make him fucking leave."

Aradia's rust eyes were full of sympathy as she met fiery crimson. "Karkat, its-"

"I don't give a flying douchefuck what it is. You can say it in front of John."

The pain in his body was nearly gone and that was a testament to Jane's magic. But now he was focused on something else. On the pain in John's eyes that was making his chest swell uncomfortably. He wanted to reach out for him, pull him close and never let go but he still couldn't move.

"Of for fucks sake let me go. I won't sit up." Karkat snarled, glancing back at Aradia before meeting swirling blue. John glanced to Jane for permission and received a nod. Almost instantly, the wind was gone and Karkat could lift his hand, reaching out for hero. But before John could take it, Karkat was manhandled onto his back once again by Aradia. He grunted but let the two women do as they pleased. They needed to re-bandage his wound so he let them lift him as they needed to; it didn't hurt anymore anyway.

John's hand was warm in his own and even though it was shaking, something seemed to relax in John's expression as he squeezed the troll's hand. Karkat let out a breath of relief and brought that warm hand to his mouth to plant a soft kiss to tanned skin. John looked close to tears again but he held them in, a tender smile curling to his lips as he let Karkat do as he wished with his hand.

"Your egg sack was destroyed."

Aradia's voice was soft and light, as if she had not just dropped a bomb onto the bed between them and nearly set it off. Jane tensed, pausing in wrapping bandages around Karkat's waist and glanced up at the male troll's face to gauge his reaction. John didn't tear his eyes away from Karkat's face, having no idea what Aradia had just said but knowing it meant something. And Karkat... well, he couldn't see to find his breath.

"W-What?" He wheezed, crimson eyes wide and locked on his stomach.

Aradia closed her eyes, a slight frown coming to her lips as she explained. "We had to decide what was important to save and what was not. You were not... conscious for this decision and the longer we took, the more blood you were losing and the less likely chance of recovery." She paused, opening her eyes a sliver to glance at Karkat. "We made the decision for you, and... I am sorry, Karkat."

Karkat's breath suddenly came in hiccups and he pressed his free hand to his face, covering his eyes and the tears that threatened to fall. John's hand squeezed Karkat's as the hero glanced between the two women, concerned.

"What... does that mean, exactly?" John asked cautiously, tugging on his bottom lip with his teeth.

"It means he is infertile now." Aradia explained gently, putting a comforting hand on Karkat's thigh. "He can not have children. Or, well, he can not bare them." She glanced up in thought. "The inner lining of the womb was damaged as well and though Jane fixed that, the egg sacks could not be healed within a proper time frame. Even so, if they had been, there was a chance that if he were to ever bare a child, what Jane fixed could tear again and we would lose both Karkat and the grub. Removing that possibility seemed like the... most wise choice."

"It was." Karkat hissed softly, his throat tight as he clutched John's hand tightly. "But  _fuck_."

"I didn't know he could have children." John mumbled, his eyes wide as he glanced at the shaking troll. "I mean, like, become pregnant."

"All trolls can." Aradia explained. "Unlike humans, we have no differences in our insides. It's a matter of survival. We choose our mates based on emotional connection and nothing to do with physical aspects. Though, we do have aesthetic attractions. Humans look at sex and gender as the same thing, while us trolls, all have the same sex. Gender is a matter of choice and preference and even then, it means very little in the whole of things. Thus, our bodies are made to reproduce without the worry of what gender our chosen partner is."

"Wow." John gasped.

"That is rather astounding." Jane agreed, her focus back on wrapping bandages around Karkat's waist and chest.

John took a deep breath as he slipped down beside Karkat, sitting near his head with a knee bent, one foot still resting on the floor. Karkat didn't hesitate to slip closer, nuzzling his face into John's thigh and hiding his tears away. It wasn't that big of a deal, he told himself. He couldn't bare children now, that was fine. It wasn't like he had ever planned on doing so anyway. But as he ranted over and over again in his mind that it was okay, deep down, he knew it wasn't.

He wanted children. He loved Jesse completely and wholeheartedly. But, he wanted more. He never thought he'd get that and then John came along. Yes, he wanted children with John. Was that too crazy to want? Perhaps, but it was the truth and now, he would never get that. The crushing feeling in his chest made him want to curl up and disappear.

But, he was okay.

He was alive. He had survived something that should have probably killed him and he made everyone he cared about worry. That was something he could focus on for the time being because Aradia was right. He needed to rest.

"I'm sorry, Karkat." John's voice was light as he trailed soft fingers into the troll's thick black hair. The motion was comforting, making Karkat nuzzle into the hero just a bit more.

"For now, he needs a lot of rest." Jane broke through the tension. "He shouldn't move for quite a while, so I hope neither of you are planning to return to Albion anytime soon."

"But-"

"Jesse-" Karkat gasped.

"If you move more than you already have, you could reopen your wounds and make them worse than before. My magic works as a nice pain reliever but there is only so much I can do. The rest is up to your body and that will take time. I know trolls heal relatively quickly compared to humans, so Aradia and I believe you should only be bedridden for a week or so, but even then, you shouldn't be flying or traveling. It might be a month or so before you are well enough to go home."

"Jesse-"

"You have to go home." Karkat cut John off, pulling back to glance up at the hero, his expression stern even with tears in his eyes. "Jesse needs to know that we are okay. He needs to know that we're coming home and that we have not abandoned him. You have to be there for him because I can't."

"Karkat-I can't leave you." John shook his head vigorously.

"I don't think anyone is going anywhere any time soon." Jane cut in, her expression even as she finished up Karkat's bandages. "Everyone needs a good long rest after the ordeal we've been through." She lifted a blanket to cover up Karkat, helping him feel less exposed to the room. "Especially now that we know everyone is okay."

The sound of hurried footsteps echoed down the hall and Aradia smiled as she backed away from Karkat. "I think our job is done for now."

Jane nodded in agreement. "If you have more problems, please don't hesitate to contact me. Rose gave me her stone, John, so please do use it. The pain should subside for a while but please let me know when he needs more magic." She explained as she walked around the large four post bed to join Aradia's side.

"Thank you." John's voice was tight but his smile was bright. "Really, you both, did so much."

"I'm glad you don't resent us for kicking you out." Aradia teased lightly, reaching out to pat a soft hand against John's head.

"Thank you." Karkat wheezed out, his throat feeling dry and tight all over again.

Jane's expression softened and she nodded along with Aradia.

Those hurried footsteps suddenly skidded to a halt and Kankri grabbed onto the door just in time to keep himself from slipping on the floor. His eyes were wide and his chest was heaving with breaths as everyone turned to look at him. His face flushed and he stood up straight, brushing off his sweater as he tried to catch his breath. He opened his mouth to speak but he found he couldn't when crimson met garnet.

Tears welled in Kankri's eyes and no one stopped the troll from hurrying to Karkat's side. Words were not said. Kankri simply rounded the bed, sat down on the empty space of Karkat's other side and quickly gathered his brother's face in his hands. When their noses brushed together, a warmth flowed through Karkat that made him smile softly. Kankri pressed their foreheads together, keeping them close as their eyes closed and they breathed each other in. It was enough to know that they were alive and well. Everything else could come later but this, this was what was most important right now.

* * *

Pain was something Karkat had always been good at dealing with. Be it physical or mental, he could handle it. Though the pain in his abdomen was on a whole new level for him, he was still able to handle it with a great big thanks to Jane's magic. She really was a miracle worker. He probably should have died from his wound but thanks to her, and Aradia, he was able to see John's smiling face all over again.

Karkat didn't really recall jumping in the air and stopping John from losing himself to his magic but he could recall how terrified he was of losing the hero. He could remember Kankri's tear-filled dirty face and the look of concern on Dave's. They were striking contrasts to the faces he'd seen recently.

Dave was more relaxed and calm around him now. He visited when Jade did, which was often and sometimes on his own when he was curious enough to. They had come to a small understanding between them. They still picked at each other but there was something playful about it now, with a lot less venom behind it than before. John sure seemed happy with whatever relationship the two had come to terms with.

Gamzee was fine and had taken the time to visit Karkat along with Tavros. The high-blood was a little beaten up but he'd been through much worse, as he told Karkat and no one had nothing to worry about with him. He was happy and content with his little Tavbabe beside him and he was more happy that Karkat was going to be alright. He'd been a little bit of a mess according to Tavros, so Karkat was glad he could ease their worries.

Feferi had given him tears as a greeting once he was well enough to see people. He slept more often than not but occasionally, he was awake long enough to have visitors. John never left his side and seemed to dictate when Karkat was well enough to see people and when he wasn't. The troll had no complaints with this. He was never left alone that way, and he was fine with that.

Kanaya and Rose were all hugs, kisses and smiles. Terezi gave him a good lick. Eridan had huffed and puffed about at first until Sollux had broken the tension by planting a big wet one on Karkat's cheek. After that, the seadweller was all over Karkat, checking to make sure he was perfectly fine, even if he was still visibly upset over what Karkat had done.

There was a sense of relief among everyone but no one stood out more than John and Kankri. John was obvious about his relief, taking Karkat's hands every chance he got and planting kisses to them. Plus, the way he looked at Karkat as if he was the most precious thing in the world always managed to make the troll's heart swell. They still hadn't talked about  _it_ but neither really seemed interested in breaching the subject.

Kankri was... less obvious with his feelings.

Karkat wasn't stupid. He knew Kankri was tense around him for a reason. Yes, his brother's hands lingered on him whenever they were together and Kankri hardly looked away from him but there was something dark in that expression that always made Karkat's chest tighten. Kankri was waiting. He was waiting until Karkat was better, or alone, to let lose whatever it was he was feeling. Whatever it was, Karkat knew he deserved it.

"Are you uncomfortable?" John's voice was soft as he leaned a little closer to Karkat's ear, tilting his head.

"I'm fine." Karkat answered honestly, bring his focus back to the book in his hands.

It was a normal position for the two of them. Karkat between John's bent knees while the hero leaned back against the headboard but it was slightly different. Karkat still couldn't sit up completely, so he was currently using John's lower stomach as a pillow as part of his upper body rested on the hero. Both arms were thrown over John's thighs as they bent so he could hold the book on his chest. The position eased the pressure on his back since most of his weight was on John who didn't mind in the least.

"Hungry?"

"Fine, John."

The hero hummed slightly, trailing his fingers through thick black hair. "Thirsty?"

Karkat rolled his eyes and laid the open book down on his chest as he tilted his head to look up at the hero. "You're being needy, aren't you?"

John made a face, crinkling his nose before glancing away with a slight pout. "I'm allowed to be needy."

A soft snort brought a smile to John's face. "Would you like me to read to you, needy bastard?"

Before John could answer, there was a light knock at the slightly ajar door and it was pushed open to reveal Kankri. "Am I interrupting?"

"Not at all!" John grinned, sitting up a bit more and making Karkat drop into his lap. "How's Cronus?"

"He's well. Resting at the moment so I thought I would drop by." Kankri wrung his hands together against his stomach and a strange sense of dread formed in Karkat's stomach. "But I don't wish to be a bother."

"Pssssh." John waved him off. "As if you could be, Kankri. Karkat was just gonna read to me. But you've actually got perfect timing." John was careful as he slipped out from under Karkat and rested the troll back onto a pile of pillows. "I uh, need to go to the bathroom. I didn't want to leave him alone."

Kankri perked up. "Alright."

"I'll bring back something to eat too." John leaned down to give Karkat's cheek a kiss before he stood up straight. "Be back soon."

"I'll be here." Karkat shrugged, his tone slightly annoyed since it was obvious to everyone that he wasn't moving any time soon.

John gave Kankri's head a pat as he passed by before disappearing out the door, shutting it softly behind himself. Kankri lingered in the middle of the room for a moment before shuffling over to Karkat. It was the first time they had been alone since before the battle and as Kankri sat on the bed beside his brother, Karkat was worried a dam was about to be released.

"How are you feeling?" Kankri's voice was light as he settled down on the bed, curling up on his side with his head sharing the same pillow as Karkat. They weren't touching but they were close enough to do so.

"Annoyed. Tired. Sick of being stuck in this fucking bed." Karkat sighed, tossing his book to the side as he threw an arm over his eyes. "Homesick, sore. All of the above."

Kankri's hand was gentle over Karkat's stomach, giving a light touch to where his wound was covered in bandages. "You are lucky to be alive."

"I know." Karkat sighed softly. "How disappointed in me are you?"

Kankri made a light noise of distress and grabbed onto Karkat's arm, tugging it away from his face so their eyes could meet. "Disappointed? Is that what you think I am?"

"Shit, I know you, Kankri." Karkat huffed slightly, tearing his eyes away to stare at the ceiling. "I know that look. You gave it to me countless times when we were younger."

Kankri shifted, pulling himself up until he was on his knees and could lean over Karkat, pressing his hands into the pillow on either side of his brother's head. Karkat was forced to meet swirling garnet and didn't dare look away from that snarl on his brother's face.

"Yes, I am angry with you. Exceptionally so. What you did was downright stupid. How could you think taking my place would have made any of this better? It should have been me and we both know that. It's what he wanted." Kankri let out a hiss when Karkat opened his mouth to respond, making the troll quickly snap his jaw shut. "But there is no point in dwelling on any of that. What's done is done and there's nothing we can do to change that." Kankri's face softened as he leaned closer to Karkat, brushing their noses together. "You're alive and that is what is most important."

Karkat swallowed hard past the lump in his throat. "So... not disappointed?"

"No." The light puff of air that came from Kankri's nose could be considered a laugh. "I'm proud, actually. As wrongly as that sounds."

"Proud?"

"You... Well, you saved us all. You gave Feferi the chance she needed and now, we are free." Kankri let out a faint sigh as he pulled away, moving to sit down at Karkat's side. "You accomplished what you had always said you would. I am proud of you for that."

_Proud_. Kankri was proud of him. Holy fuck. The smile that split across Karkat's face was quickly hidden by his arm being tossed over his face. "I can handle you being mad at me."

"Good." Kankri crossed his arms over his chest, a smile tugging at his lips. "Honestly, that anger has died down an exceptional amount. Things are more pleasant now that the people I care about most are no longer dying."

"Oh yeah." Karkat pulled his arm away to look up at his brother. "Sup with you and Cronus?"

A flush curled to Kankri's cheeks and he quickly glanced away, giving Karkat a nice glance at his cracked horn. It was still healing, with a bit of Jane's help, but the crack was visible even in the nubby horn. "We had a very long talk. He's still healing, and it will be a long time before he is completely fine, but, he is coming back to Albion with us."

Karkat perked a brow. "Soooo, I can't rip his fins off huh?"

"I'd much rather you did not."

Karkat huffed, crossing his arms over his chest lightly as he settled against the pillows. "Well shit." He pouted about for all of three seconds before concern took over his expression and he placed a hand on Kankri's thigh. "You sure it's okay?"

Kankri inhaled, smiling softly at Karkat's concern, his garnet eyes warm. "I didn't say we were okay. There's still... feelings that need to be worked out. I have not forgiven him for leaving me in the first place but, given the circumstances, I believe this is something we are capable of working on."

"As long as you're sure."

"I am. What about you?" Kankri managed to steer the conversation in a different direction so effortless that it took Karkat a moment to realize what was going on.

"Uh."

"Have you told John?"

"Kankri, that's, uh, time and place, you know?"

"Well, are you going to?" Kankri pressed, perking a eyebrow at his brother as he looked down at him.

"I, well, yeah of course. Eventually."

"Soon."

"But-"

"No, Karkat." Garnet narrowed into a fire that seemed to always be burning somewhere inside the troll. "I have no intention of causing you guilt, but you did not witness the true devastation your actions caused John. He nearly lost you and he was more distressed than I. That man loves you with his entire being and if you don't tell him you are so flushed for him it hurts, than you will be missing out on some prime affection moments."

"Prime affection moments?" Karkat ventured softly.

"Right now the relief is the only thing John is able to focus on. The relief and utter happiness that you are alive and going to be alright. He's not happy with you, either, Karkat." Garnet eyes cut right through him, making him slink back into the pillows. "But his happiness over powers that for the time being. You both lost yourselves a bit, honestly. But the important thing is you have returned. Now is the time to come clean, I believe. Near death can make one come to a lot of conclusions about their life."

"I knew how I felt before all this shit happened." He mumbled, glancing to the side as he bunched his lips together.

"Then  _do_ something about it."

"Alright, jeeze, you're so pushy."

"Oh yes, I am the pushy one." A playful smile came to Kankri's lips as he nudged Karkat's shoulder.

Karkat pawed at the air before knocking his knuckles against Kankri's thigh and just letting his hand rest there. "Always have been."

"You never complained before." Kankri pointed out, taking Karkat's hand into his own, twirling their fingers together.

Garnet met crimson and as silence fell over them, there was a warmth that enveloped both of them, causing a smile to be shared.

* * *

The bathroom John and Karkat were lucky enough to call their own for the time being was probably larger than Karkat's and John's cabins combined. It was nicer than anything John had ever seen before even if it was similar to the bath Kankri had dragged him to before. He hardly remembered that place. Truth be told, he didn't remember much between the time Karkat dragged him down from the air and when those crimson eyes finally opened again. It was all a blur.

The bathtub was large and could probably fit a handful of people, made out of some type of sparkling marble with silver handles and pipes. The floor was cool to the touch and mirrors covered almost every surface for some reason. John wasn't sure why. All the cared about was that the bathroom was attached to the room Feferi had given them to use until Karkat was healed so he didn't have to make the troll go far.

"It's so big!" Jesse giggled softly, a bright grin on his face as he started to run around the bathroom, his arms held out.

John watched the boy with amusement, unable to hold back the bubble of warmth in his stomach. Rose and Kanaya had been kind enough to go get the boy so Karkat could see him. It was the best surprise ever. There were a lot of tears about it but the troll had been grateful.

The hero lingered by the door, watching as Karkat wobbled to the large built-in bath and carefully sat himself down on the edge. He was getting better, but walking, standing, and sitting were still a bit difficult for him. Jesse paused in his running around the room before hurrying up to the troll and leaning over to peer into the tub.

"You sure about this?" John asked, pushing away from the door to approach them.

"I feel gross." Karkat mumbled, eyeing the large tub. "I haven't had a proper bath in weeks and it's about to drive me nuts."

"But is it going to be okay?" John fretted slightly, shifting to rub a hand down Karkat's back.

Crimson snapped at him. "Jane said it was fine."

"I know. I just..."

"Can I bathe with Daddy?" Jesse asked excitedly, his eyes bright as he glanced up at the two adults.

"I was hoping you both would." Karkat glanced at John shyly and the lump that formed in the hero's throat wasn't unpleasant.

"Yeah." John nodded.

Karkat's shoulders relaxed and he flicked a hand at the tub, motioning for John to start running the water before he shifted to remove his shirt. John wandered around the tub and started twisting knobs until steaming water was following. He found it interesting that trolls had running water but they were in a castle after all.

When John glanced up again, Karkat was naked aside from the bandages around his stomach and chest. Jesse had abandoned his clothes as well and was running his fingers gently over the bandages. It gave John a chance to really look the troll over. Karkat's skin was finally starting to have a hint of healthy color to it and though there was darkness under his eyes, it was better than it had been. He looked a hell of a lot better than he did a week ago.

Sometimes, all John could see when he looked at Karkat was blood. Sometimes when he glanced down at the troll's stomach, he saw that gaping wound, fresh and bloody instead of the scar that was still healing. They were images that would probably haunt him for a while. But that's all they were; ghosts. John could handle them with the constant reminder that Karkat was fine. Still healing and still in pain, but alive.

"Can I see, daddy?" Jesse asked softly, his eyes wide as he laid his palm flat against Karkat's stomach, right over where his wound was.

"No choice really." Karkat shrugged and lifted his arms to twist and try to remove the bandages. But he twisted a little too wrong and the sudden hiss that came from his crunched up face made John and Jesse jump.

"I've got it." John was quickly on his feet and at Karkat's side. The troll didn't fight him as the hero started to remove the bandages. There weren't as many as there had been but it was still a task to remove them all. Karkat's skin was a little darker in certain places where the bandages had been too tight and as John revealed more and more skin, he could see some red blotches of agitation. A bath was a good idea. It would give Karkat's body a chance to rest from the bandages and clean him up at the same time.

" _Oh._ " Jesse gasped suddenly, his little mouth dropping open in a "o" as his eyes landed on the ugly scar over Karkat's stomach.

Karkat glanced down at himself, his brow furrowing. "Never said it was pretty."

"Daddy." Tears suddenly welled in Jesse's eyes and he fell forward, wrapping his arms around Karkat's waist tightly, nuzzling his face into the troll's side.

"I'm alright." Karkat assured him, slipping a hand into light blond hair. "Daddy's alright."

"It looks painful." Jesse mumbled against grey skin, glancing up at the troll with tear-filled eyes.

"It was." He admitted softly, glancing at John as the hero moved to adjust the water.

"Is it still?"

"Sometimes. But John's taken very good care of me."

Jesse's face brightened and before he pulled away, he planted a sloppy kiss against Karkat's scar. "I want to take care of Daddy too!" He announced, putting his little fists on his hips and spreading his legs apart so his dangly little wee-wee could be seen for all.

Karkat snorted softly behind his hand and glanced away to John. "I'm sure you'll be a big help."

"If you want to help, why don't you climb in and test the water?" John offered, knelling down beside Jesse and folding his arms on the edge of the tub. The water was still running, the sound echoing through the room.

"Okay!" Jesse took Karkat's hand and climbed over the edge of the tub very carefully until he could slip into the water. "It's nice!" He dipped down in the water and then started swimming around as if he were in the ocean.

Karkat watched on with a fond smile on his lips. The tub was way too large for such a small human child but Jesse was loving it; splashing about and swimming laps, giggling all the way.

John moved to his feet and held out a hand to Karkat, a smile on his lips. "Ready?"

Karkat glanced over the hero, taking his time to sweep his eyes up and down before meeting surprised blue. "Aren't you going to undress?"

A flush curled to John's cheeks and he glanced down at himself. "Right." A soft chuckle left his lips as he tugged off his shirt and tossed it to join Karkat's and Jesse's abandoned clothes in the corner. All the while, as he pushed his pants off his hips, he was highly aware of the burning crimson watching him. The flush spread down his neck as he tossed his pants aside, leaving him completely naked.

"Heroes really heal quickly, hm?" Karkat pondered aloud, his eyes lingering over tanned skin.

John coughed to clear his throat and glanced away to Jesse, who was blowing bubbles into the water with his mouth. "Yup."

Karkat reached out carefully, dragging his claws down the toned abs that made up John's stomach, lingering over a scar that he hadn't noticed before. "And yet you scar."

Something burning burst in John's lower belly and he found he could only nod and watch in slight awe as crimson eyes focused on his body. There was a light frown on Karkat's lips as he ran his hand up John's side, pausing over a few scars near his ribs. John's skin was tanned, the scars a lighter color, and he was coiled with muscle that made the troll lick his lips. The flush was rather attractive as well, curling over his nose and cheeks, and down his neck.

"Um, Karkat?" John voice was light, and a little tight, snapping the troll out of his daze.

Karkat only nodded as he carefully moved to his feet and held his hands out for John to take. Carefully, they stepped into the water together, hissing slightly at how hot it really was. Jesse stayed in the corner and watched with a smile as John helped Karkat sit down in the water. The troll winced in discomfort but once the water was swirling over his skin, flooding warmth into his tight muscles, he was able to relax. The tub was big enough for him to spread out and just let himself float, easing the pressure off his wound.

Jesse floated over to the troll and shifted onto his back, to float as well while John twisted around to turn off the flowing water. The tub was a little more than half-full and that was enough for the three of them. The hero sat at one of the rounded corners of the tub, pressing his back against the cool marble, his eyes lingering on his family.

"I wouldn't mind a tub like this as home." Karkat mumbled, his eyes closed as water lapped around his ears.

"Mhm!" Jesse agreed, sitting up and crawling over to John. "It's like a small ocean!"

"Or a pool." John chuckled softly, letting the boy crawl up into his lap.

"What's a pool?"

"Kind of like this but usually outside. It's a small puddle of water. Well, not that small. Bigger than a puddle, smaller than a pond." John explained.

Karkat opened one eye and twisted slightly to see John and Jesse within arms reach. Carefully, he sat up and pushed himself until he was beside John. The pressure in his lower abdomen was gone and he felt loads better already. He just needed some soap to clean up with and he'd feel even better. But for the moment, he wanted to enjoy a few quiet moments with his family. Jesse curled up against John's chest with a fond smile as he slapped gently at the water's surface and Karkat leaned his head on the hero's shoulder, smiling when John nuzzled into his hair.

* * *

The sudden sharp pain that shot up Karkat's spine made him snap out of sleep and cling to the closest thing with a sharp hiss on his tongue. The solid form he clung to, claws wrapped tightly around a shoulder, awoke with a start and glanced around quickly. It took a soft sigh and Karkat letting out a grunt for John to know everything was okay. Carefully, John pulled the troll closer and lifted his head so he could see what was bothering Karkat.

With his tiny little foot, Jesse had managed to kick Karkat right in the scar on his back as he twisted around in sleep. John gave a sympathetic hiss and reached around Karkat, tucking the troll under his head, and grabbed onto Jesse gently, adjusting the boy until he was curled up on his side and no longer pressing into Karkat in all the wrong places. Satisfied, John laid back down, allowing the troll to use his arm as a pillow and pulled the blankets a little higher over them.

John's cottage was a little cool tonight thanks to a storm outside so he kept close to his troll, letting his eyes slip closed again. Karkat nuzzled gently into his throat so the hero rubbed a tender hand over his back scar, lifting the troll's sleep shirt enough so calloused hands could brush over torn skin.

"Alright?" John grunted softly, his voice thick with sleep.

"Mhm."

With a smile, John nuzzled into soft black hair, ready for sleep once again. They were all rather worn out from their trip back to Albion. Karkat was barely capable of travel but the troll had enough of that castle and he was so ready to come home. Against Jane's better judgment, the family left Alternia. The flight didn't cause Karkat much stress since floating on the wind kept the pressure off his wounds but it was still a long journey. They'd stumbled through John's cottage and not even an hour later the three of them were curled up in bed, asleep.

John opened his eyes partly when soft warm lips started kissing along his throat. He hummed in approval, tightening the arm he had around Karkat's shoulders and digging his fingers in thick hair. Karkat was gentle as he kissed along John's jaw and with a tug of the hero's shoulder, he was greeted with warm lips against his own. The kiss was soft, sending sparks of warmth along Karkat's skin and making him press just a bit closer.

They froze when Karkat flinched and released another hiss of pain. John's hand flapped about for a moment before he found Jesse's elbow in Karkat's back. He shifted the boy until he was a little lower, laying closer to Karkat's legs before returning his hand to the troll's hip.

"Are you okay?" John murmured, his voice soft in the dimly lit cottage.

"Fine." Karkat took a few deep breaths until the rush of pain subsided.

"Mm." John brushed his fingers over Karkat's jaw from behind, with the arm wrapped around his shoulder, and tilted the troll's head back until their lips could meet again.

The kisses were soft, but there was a pressure behind them that made Karkat's heart leap into his throat. He pressed a little closer to John, his hands curling against the hero's bare chest as their lips moved together slowly. Karkat body was warm and solid against John's, a reminder that they came home in one piece, despite everything that happened.

"I'm so glad to be home." Karkat mumbled against John's lips, his eyes a sliver of crimson as he watched John.

John's fingers brushed over Karkat's jaw in a petting motion, a smile curling to his lips. "About time, hm?"

"I was losing my mind there."

"I was thinking of bringing Casey over tomorrow. I'm sure she wants to see you."

Karkat nodded in agreement, nuzzling into John's bicep under his head. "Kankri and Cronus should be here in a few days."

"How do you feel about that?"

Karkat shrugged one shoulder. "Kankri knows what he's doing."

John hummed. "I'm just glad everyone's alright. That was one hell of a few weeks."

The troll inhaled deeply and pressed his lips to the light stubble on John's jaw. "Everyone's emotionally exhausted."

"It's a shame too. Never got to celebrate."

"Celebrate what?"

John paused and pulled back slightly to glance down at the blinking troll. "Well, uh, that we won?"

A dark eyebrow perked. "Yeah?"

"It seems like something to celebrate. But everyone was so worried about you and the drones and all the other crazy shit. Never had a chance to, celebrate." A grin curled to his lips as he ducked down to press their forehead's together. "It is something to celebrate."

A warmth swirled in Karkat's chest. "Well, yeah. Feferi's queen. Shit's going to get better."

"We won." John stated, biting into his lower lip in an attempt to hid his smile.

Karkat snorted softly. "We won."

"I'm kind of proud of you." John mumbled causing a flush to curl to grey cheeks. "You accomplished something you've been planning since... hell, since before I was even born. You fought for what you believed in, and won."

"Couldn't... have done it without you."

John crinkled his nose. "Probably could have."

"Not really. Not when you think about it. There were so few of us to begin with. If... If you'd never come along, I wouldn't have Kankri and then without Kankri, we wouldn't have Kurloz and Mituna. Or Gamzee. I still would have made the same choices that I made but there would be no Jane to save me." Karkat's voice was low as he spoke, his eyes growing wider with each word. "We really couldn't have done it without the heroes."

John made a soft noise in his throat as he leaned forward to capture Karkat's lips once again. "Then I'm really fucking glad we were there."

The noise Karkat made was weak and pathetic but neither seemed to mind. "Me too. I couldn't have done it without you."

John's arms tightened around the troll and the kiss he pressed to plump lips sent sparks of warmth all over the place. "You could have, but I'm glad I was there."

"I'm sorry." Karkat quickly mumbled, making John pull back to look at him with a perked brow.

"For... what?"

"For..." He glanced away shyly, the flush on his cheeks hard to see in the dimly lit cottage. "What I did. It was... It was selfish."

A flicker of emotion that Karkat couldn't read crossed John's face before the hero was smiling softly and pressing their noses together. "It  _was_  selfish."

"I am sorry." Karkat glanced up at him, his eyes filled with emotion and showing just how bad he really felt about the whole thing.

"I'm not going to tell you that what you did was okay, cause it wasn't." John answered honestly, smiling gently at the way Karkat closed his eyes. "And I won't say I'm not angry about it, cause I am. But... Well, not as much as I was. You're alive and that's kinda all that matters. I just, Karkat, you can't do something like that again." His tone took on a serious note with a hint of pain to it as he pressed closer, brushing their lips together. "You have people who love you. We don't want to lose you, especially not like that. I highly doubt a situation like that will ever come up again, but if it does, please, don't try something that stupid again."

"I promise."

"Thank you." John sighed a puff of relief and pressed their lips together once more. "I don't ever want to live on this earth without you."

The softly spoken words sent a rush of warmth over Karkat's body and made his head dizzy. His breath formed in his throat, a burning tight feeling that spread to his chest. "J-John."

"I know, I know." He mumbled softly, nuzzling against Karkat's face. "I just wanted to say it. I mean, you weren't there. You were... and I was such a mess. Man, that's embarrassing to admit." He chuckled softly, his eyes closing as he pressed their foreheads together again. "But I could barely think straight. All I could think was I was going to lose you and I didn't know how to handle that. I didn't want to live without you. I was so lost before I found you and if you left, I don't know how I'd function. Obviously, I would. Someone has to take care of Jesse. But, damn Karkat, it's a terrifying thought."

"I'm sorry." He pressed close, slipping his hands up to hold John's face and tilt it so their lips could meet.

"I know you are."

"I... I was afraid of losing you too." Karkat swallowed hard, dropping his eyes to John's parted lips. "When he grabbed you... when you were fighting him... when you lost yourself... Please, John, Don't do that again. Don't..."

"I won't." John quickly replied, pressing their lips together again. "I won't lose myself in my magic again. Rose told me all about how terrifying that was for everyone. I don't even remember. I remember seeing him... shove into you and then next thing I know, we're on the ground and you're bleeding out and-" He was cut off with a warm kiss.

"Never again."

"Never."

"I can't... No, I won't live without you." Karkat pressed closer, pushing their stomachs together and curling his legs with John's. His hands still held the hero's face, tilting it so their lips could slid together perfectly. "I won't." He was shaking slightly, making John open his eyes to see the deep dark flush over every ounce of grey skin available to him. "I refuse."

"You never have to." John answered honestly, his voice low and his eyes wide with awe.

Karkat let out a groan, that sounded more like a whine and tilted John's head back, hooking his thumbs under his chin so their eyes could meet properly. There was a blazing fire in crimson, giving them life John wasn't sure he had seen before. "You're stuck with me. Forever."

A grin curled to John's lips, bunching up his cheeks and showing his teeth. "You say that like it's a bad thing."

"Say the thing, John."

The hero's grin faulted in confusion. "The thing?"

"You know, the thing." Karkat glanced away shyly.

A thick dry lump formed in John's throat and he had to lick his lips and swallowed a few times before he could speak. "I'm in love with you."

Karkat's entire body shook at the words and he closed his eyes for a moment, his lips pressing together tightly as if he'd just felt the most amazing pleasure in the world course through his body. And then, when those eyes opened once more, John was left downright breathless from the emotion within them.

"I'm so in  _love with you_  it  _hurts_. Maker, does it  _fucking hurt_  John." Tears welled in Karkat's eyes but the smile on his lips was so bright it could have melted ice in an instant.

John's emotions bubbled over, laughter escaping his throat as he wrapped his arms tighter around the troll keeping them as close as possible. Karkat was warm, solid, shaking, and real. "I-I know, Karkat." He laughed, smiling through his tears. "I know you do."

"Bastard." Karkat laughed too, leaning forward so their lips could brush together. "It was supposed to be my big confession moment and you ruined it."

John chuckled, tilting his head to plant kisses along Karkat's jaw. "Was I supposed to act shocked? Okay, let me try." He pulled back quickly, his eyes wide and his mouth open. "Oh my  _maker_. Karkat, you... are you  _serious_? You love  _me_?" He spoke so dramatically it made Karkat snort.

"Asshole!" The troll hissed with amusement as he squished John's face between his hands. "I  _am_ being serious _."_

John's expression changed then, his laughter melting away into a glowing warmth that spread over his face and into his chest. He grinned, so brightly and warm, his ocean blue eyes sparkling as he squeezed Karkat closer. "I know." His voice dipped low and he pressed closer, kissing awaiting plump lips deeply. "I've waited,  _so long_ , to hear you say that. Say it again."

"I-I'm in love with you."

"Again."

"John."

" _Please_." John practically begged, the tears slipping from his eyes ignored as he pressed his lips to Karkat's.

John's entire body was shaking and Karkat could feel his thumping heartbeat against his own. He smiled fondly, ignoring the tears in his eyes and the burning flush all over his body. He gathered John face in his hands once again, brushing his thumbs under his eyes as he tilted the hero's head until their lips pressed together oh so perfectly.

"I refuse to live my life without you. I don't care that this doesn't fit into a neat little box. I should have told you long ago how I felt but it... It was hard.  _So hard_. But it hurt more to, not tell you. I was an ass. I was foolish and stupid and yet you still love me for some fucking reason and you know what?" Karkat pressed their forehead's together, matching the grin on John's face. "I don't give a damn why. Because like hell I'm letting you slip through my fingers again. You are  _mine_. And I'm  _so fucking_  in love with you."

John made a tender noise in the back of his throat and arched up, capturing ready and willing lips with his own. The way Karkat relaxed against him was more than he could take. His throat bobbed with emotion and when he pulled their lips away they couldn't seem to stop grinning at each other.

"Does that mean, you'll let me keep my promise?"

"Hmm?"

John's grin grew, if that was even possible, and he twisted suddenly. Karkat's hands fell away from his face as John twisted his upper body so he could grab at the little dresser beside his bed. He fumbled about for a bit before he found what he wanted and came back, pressing against the troll again. There was a flush on his cheeks as he held his fist out to Karkat.

"What is it?" Karkat asked, raising a hand to cup John's fist.

"It's not, well, it's not what it probably should be but, I think, it means a lot." John swallowed hard, glancing away shyly before he opened his palm and showed Karkat what was within.

Settled in the curve of John's palm, was the sparkling jewel Adairis had given him months ago. The Crimson Arrow's color was such a deep hue it was pretty obvious what it meant. It had been fastened with a silver back and an attached chain, turning it into a necklace.

"I hope you'll accept this and let me keep my childhood promise." John's tone was so serious it made Karkat's breath catch in his throat.

"You..."

" _I'm going to marry you one day, Karkat!"_

"Oh fuck." The troll gasped, glancing from the necklace to John's awaiting face. He swallowed hard, the warmth in his chest so tight he thought it would explode. The bubble of laughter that came from his throat, came with tears as well as he took the necklace and quickly slipped it over his head. "As if I could ever say no to you."

John's grin was breathtaking but it was quickly buried into the troll's neck as John held him tightly. The warmth in Karkat's chest exploded to his face, bringing out a grin as he wrapped his arms tightly around his hero. John's shoulder shook with emotion, and Karkat could feel tears against his skin. But he said nothing; he only hummed softly and planted gentle kisses to John's hair.

Love wasn't linear. It came and went and sometimes it stuck around. Sometimes, it was always there and just took a little time to bloom; like flowers. It took time for Karkat's love to bloom but once it had, there was no holding back any more. He made his choice long ago, from the moment he picked up that crying baby and decided to make it his own. Their love was fated, even if Karkat would never admit that aloud. And he couldn't wish for anything more.

After all.

Their love was

Written in the stars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was the corniest ending ever, oh my maker, but I love it so much.
> 
> If you were expecting smut, well, sorry to disappoint but does it even seem like Karkat's in any condition for sexual activity? Besides, they needed to express their feelings. It's so important. I have to say that I was absolutely fangirling like an idiot when I wrote that part because they are just the biggest dorks ever. I love them. So Much. And I'm so happy. 
> 
> I know this feels like the end, but it's really not. We have one more chapter. An epilogue. I'll go into being a sobby grateful mess then. For now, just, thank you. All of you. For sticking with me this long. It as worth the wait, wasn't it? I think it was. Because, of course John knew. He's known for a while. We all know that. But it's one thing to know and another to hear those sweet words come from Karkat's lips. They have a lot of cuddling in the near future and let me say, their honeymoon phase never goes away. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! If you haven't already, please do click that kudo button and if you have, then please leave a comment, letting me know what you thought. Even if it's a simple thing of "that was nice!", it's really appreciated. You can only kudo a chapter fic once so comments are my life source!! Thanks again!
> 
> If you have any questions, or want to know more about this universe and all the headcanons I have for this story, these characters, and this world, don't hesitate to ask me on my [tumblr](http://the-orgasmic-seke.tumblr.com/ask). I love hearing from you all.
> 
> It's been one hell of ride. See you in the epilogue.
> 
> ~Addy~


	24. Last Farewell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [How Long Will I Love you?](https://youtu.be/B2KKcjSOBmk) , [Last Farewell](https://youtu.be/PQ3gphHww1Q), [You And Me](https://youtu.be/ac3HkriqdGQ)

_How long will I love you?_

_As long as stars are above you._

_And longer if I can._

_How long will I need you?_

_As long the seasons need to_

_follow their plan._

_How long will I be with you?_

_As long as the sea is bound to_

_wash up on the sand._

_How long will I want you?_

_As long as you want me to_

_and longer by far._

_How long will I hold you?_

_As long as your father told you_

_As long as you can._

_How long will I give to you?_

_As long as I live through you._

_However long you say._

_How long will I love you?_

_As long stars are above you._

_And longer if I may._

* * *

Karkat could feel the oncoming storm as he stood there, crimson focused solely on the way John's shoulders heaved just ever so slightly. The dark fabric spread over those broad shoulders fit perfectly, as did everything Kanaya ever made, and though Karkat knew what was coming, it did not stop him from taking a moment to admire the hero in his nice dress clothing. John was fumbling with the blue bow tie around his neck and with the way his teeth were gnawing at his already abused lower lip, Karkat's heart swelled.

The troll pushed off the wall he was leaning against and approached the hero who glanced at him with hurricane eyes. Karkat clicked his tongue against his teeth before he brushed John's hands away so he could take over the bow tie. John gave a shaky appreciative smile before his eyes glanced to the closed door frantically.

"You look so nice." John's voice was soft and a little shaken but the smile on his lips was solid as he focused on the face near his own.

Karkat perked a brow as his claws tugged and pulled at the silky fabric of John's tie. "Thank you."

The clothes Kanaya made fit them perfectly but there was something special about these clothes in particular. They were a specific occasion that was about to probably make John throw up, or so Karkat was sure of. John's outfit hugged the best parts of his body, with nice slacks, a thin white button up and a dark blue coat. Karkat couldn't help but admire how nice his hero looked in such clothing. It wasn't like he got to see John all dressed up very often as it was.

Karkat's clothing was a little less dressy, considering his position, but Kanaya had done her best to make him look handsome. The dark crimson color of his suit was almost black and brought out his eyes perfectly. He'd forgone the tie since trolls never really liked to have things wrapped around their necks so the collar of his button up was wide open, leaving a bit of supple grey skin that John couldn't seem to look away from.

Karkat made a noise of achievement once the tie was bowed and his hands lingered on John's shoulders as he checked over his work. "I love you but you need to breathe." His voice was soft, concerned, when he glanced up to meet slightly wide blue.

John let out a faint laugh and nodded, swallowing hard as he rubbed a hand over the back of his hair. Karkat quickly tisked at him and brought up a hand to settle down the hair John had managed to rub out of place. "Sorry, sorry."

The troll took a breath before his hands smoothed down John's shoulders to rest over his chest. "It is going to be alright."

John nodded with another hard swallow. "I-I know. I know. It's just... She's my little girl, you know?" He shook his head and glanced to the door as his hands came to rest on Karkat's hips, holding the troll closer. "Of course you know, she's your little girl too. But, I just," His face crunched up and when he tipped forward, Karkat was prepared.

John's face buried in the sweet smelling warmth of Karkat's neck as warm fingers started to card through his hair gently. "I know."

The hero huffed softly, brushing the tip of his nose up Karkat's throat. "I've never been so conflicted in my entire life."

Karkat snorted softly, his hand stilling in John's hair for only a second before he moved to flatten it once again. "She asked you to do this for a reason."

"I know!" John pulled away abruptly, his eyes wide as his hands went into his hair once again. "She's my baby girl!" He turned away and started to pace, tugging at thick raven strands of hair while Karkat watched with narrowed eyes.

"She's almost thirty, John."

"She'll always be a baby to me."

Karkat took a deep breath and crossed his arms over his chest as he watched his husband. "John."

The hero froze at the hardened tone and quickly glanced at the troll, his mouth open and his eyes slightly wide. "Y-Yes?"

"Do you like Dathan?"

John swallowed and dropped his hands to his sides, nodding. "He's a fine young troll."

"Do you approve of this wedding?"

"Of course I do!" Blue eyes widened even more.

Karkat nodded, dropping his shoulders as a warm smile curled to his lips and he held open his arms for the hero. "Then let it out now otherwise you're going to upset Casey later."

John didn't hesitate to bury himself in those arms, enjoying the way they wrapped tightly around his body and kept him close. Karkat nuzzled against his hair for only a second before moving his claws to fix the mess of it John had made once again.

"I just can't believe she's all grown up. It feels like just yesterday she was riding on my shoulders and I was taking her flying. And now... She's a woman. And getting married..." John mumbled into the crock of Karkat's neck.

"She's been a woman for a long time, love." Karkat's voice remained even as he focused on his task. "You just never wanted to see it. I applaud her for waiting so long before committing. You know I was worried about their relationship from the beginning but Dathan is a decent troll and he's proven himself to her in all the ways that matter."

" _Decent_." John murmured, a hint of amusement to his tone even as he sniffed.

Karkat rolled his eyes. "I'm not giving him that much credit. He is a high-blood after all."

"I thought you approved."

"I do. As long as she's happy, I do. She knows what she's doing. I have faith in that."

John gave a nod of agreement as he pulled back to meet his husband's eyes. Karkat tilted his head slightly at the lopsided smile on John's face. His hands slipped away from thick strands of raven to cup each side of his neck as the hero leaned down toward him. "Our babies have grown up." John mumbled as he pressed their foreheads together.

"Hm." Karkat leaned up slightly, brushing the tips of his claws over the back of John's neck. "They have."

"Jesse's next."

"Oh maker, don't say that." Karkat crinkled his nose as his eyes slipped closed, a faint snarl coming to his lips.

John chuckled softly as he dipped down to press their lips together. "And you tell me I haven't let go."

"He's different." Crimson snapped open. "The last thing either of us wants is for him to give into one of those loose flimsy trolls that only want him for his abilities."

The hero's smile grew as he pecked Karkat's lips. "Mhm, because that's the only problem you have with it."

"Don't get me started." Karkat sighed heavily, rolling his eyes as he leaned into John's embrace; strong arms tight around his waist.

A light knock on the door brought their attention back to the world around them and with another soft kiss they pulled apart while John called for the person to enter. Karkat went about flattening his clothes as John checked his hair in a mirror while the door to the small room opened.

"Casey's ready."

John let out a whistle against his hammering heart at the handsome blond that entered the room. "Well don't you look handsome."

Jesse's cheeks flushed a light color as he looked down at himself, curling his fingers over the hem of his suit. It was a solid black with an accent color of red in the form of his bow tie. As always, Kanaya outdid herself. Karkat gave a hum of approval before he approached the blond and tugged at the bow tie, undoing it so he could redo it. Jesse allowed him to do so, a bright smile on his lips as he watched his dad fix his tie for him.

It was obvious Jesse was no longer a child. He had stopped being a child long ago. Fifteen years had been very kind to him and about every troll and human within Albion was aware of it. Jesse, not so much aware of it but Karkat found that to be a good thing. With his baby fat long gone and his body filling out, he was tall and desirable. He'd gone from a cute little child into a handsome attractive man. His eyes were sharp, his body toned and his hair a length and thickness some women desired. He liked to keep it pulled back, as he had it now, all nice and neat for such a special occasion.

"Please tell me you didn't bring one of them with you." Karkat's voice was slightly sharp as he finished up the tie and smoothed his hands over Jesse's shoulders. The blond was still shorter than the troll but not by much.

Jesse's brow furrowed and green eyes rolled. "Dad."

"Seriously." Karkat gave a sharp tug to the front of his coat.

" _No._ It's my sister's wedding and I'm single. So I came single."

"Good." Karkat seemed pleased as he pulled away from the man, but not before tucking a stray strand of blond behind his son's ear.

"You two are so cute." John wrapped them both up in an arm and pulled them close, earning a smile from Jesse and a grunt from Karkat. "It's a happy day, right? Let's be happy!"

"Says the man who was nearly in tears two minutes ago."

John stiffened while Jesse looked up at him in alarm. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." John assured, giving his husband a soft glare as he pulled away from them. "Just fine. And those weren't tears of unhappiness, okay?" He turned to Karkat. "Just... I don't know." He threw his hands up in defeat. "I saved her from hobbs and now I'm giving her away. Literally."

"She wants to see you." Jesse pointed out.

"It is time? Oh fuck is it?" John perked up and quickly ran to the window to look out at the sun.

"No. But she wants to see you." With a soft smirk, Jesse glanced to Karkat. "You're not allowed to see her until she's walking down the aisle."

Karkat's brow furrowed. "Is she trying to make me cry?"

"Probably." Jesse leaned closer to the troll and gave a sweet little peck of a kiss against his cheek. "We'll see you later."

"Oh fuck oh fuck." John mumbled to himself as he moved to follow Jesse out the door but Karkat grabbed him by his sleeve as he passed, pulling the hero to a stop.

"You'll do fine." Karkat gathered John's face between his hands and brought him down until their lips could met in a tender kiss. John leaned into that warmth, his fingers lingering over Karkat's hips as he deepened the kiss. There was a soft sound from Jesse that pulled them both apart. A grin rested on John's face when he gave one last peck to Karkat's lips, causing grey cheeks to flush. Jesse gave them a knowing look before he shuffled off down the hallway with John not too far behind.

* * *

The golden oak glimmered against the clear blue sky and bright sunshine. The air was perfect, with a cool breeze that made wearing the strange suit bearable for Karkat. It was obvious a lot of effort had gone into decorating the golden oak with white fabric and candles that would be lit when night fell. The clear land around the tree had been turned into an event, with rows of chairs and pretty white bows decorating everything. The ocean crashed over the hill and with such perfect weather, Karkat was sure the wedding would be a success.

After all, he had been married under the same tree years before. He thought it to be a special place. Not just a tree of warmth and light, giving Oakfield the fruitful harvests the town was well known for, but giving warmth and life into the lives of its people. No wonder an entire temple had been built over the worship of the light.

By the time Karkat made his way out of the home he was lucky enough to call his with John, people were gathering atop the hill with the golden oak. The ceremony was to be held when the sun was at its highest point in the sky. Karkat figured they had another hour or so before then and after the vows were given, a reception was to be held at the Sandgoose.

"Ah, So this is where you have been hiding."

Karkat glanced up at the sound of his brother's voice and just a glance of garnet made his heart swell. He didn't say a word when he bounced to the side and quickly wrapped Kankri up in a tight hug.

"Oh." Kankri laughed smoothly as he returned the hug, rubbing his hands over Karkat's back. "Greetings to you too."

"When did you get here?" Karkat pulled away, cupping his brother's shoulders as he smiled at him.

"Not long ago." Kankri's eyes were bright as they scanned over Karkat's face. "You look handsome."

A quick once over showed Karkat that his brother had dressed up for the occasion as well. A red cardigan, tight pants and dress shoes. "How was the trip?"

Kankri tilted his head, letting out a soft sigh as he rubbed a hand over his stomach. "I don't think I'll ever be used to traveling through the void."

"I'm so happy you're here." Karkat blurted though the happiness in his eyes was enough to make Kankri flush.

"I missed you as well." Kankri smiled tenderly as he reached out to wrap a few fingers around Karkat's wrist.

"You're staying for a while right? Dave said you all are."

"That is the plan. We've been thinking that traveling between Albion and Aurora might be a little hard on the children so we're trying to figure out where to settle down."

Karkat rolled his eyes as he grabbed Kankri's arm to pull through his own so they could start walking down the path toward the golden oak. "Eight-ish sweeps and you're  _finally_ thinking about settling down."

Kankri puffed out his chest slightly as he glanced to the sky. "None of us wanted to make the other choose about where home should be. But," he let out a soft sigh and glanced down at himself, his free hand lingering over his still pudgy stomach, "things are different now."

Crimson lingered over the hand Kankri had over his stomach and the way his heart thumped made him pause. "You're..." He brought them to a halt as he swirled around to face his brother, his eyes bright. "Are you?"

Grey cheeks curled with a light blush as garnet glanced down. "I am." Karkat's heart leaped into his throat. "I, I did not wish to say anything until after the wedding." Kankri mumbled quickly, raising his concerned eyes to meet bright crimson. "It's a recent development."

"Holy fuck." The laugh that bubbled out of Karkat's lips was a warm sound as he tipped forward and wrapped Kankri up in a tight hug. "Congratulations."

"Thank you, Karkat." Kankri nuzzled his cheek against Karkat's as he returned his brother's hug. "I am... rather excited about it."

"You should be." When Karkat pulled back, they shared a special little smile among brothers before they hooked their arms together and began walking once more. "So, Cronus?"

"Yes. Cronus."

"He must be so happy."

"He won't stop talking about it." Kankri sighed softly, the smile on his face betraying his annoyed tone.

"Well, given that you guys thought he never could again... I don't blame him." Karkat shrugged but gave his brother's arm a reassuring squeeze.

Garnet shifted to the sky. "I was hoping to settle around here. Cronus and I agreed that we want this child to have the same relationship with you and John, and everyone else, that Jean has."

"Well you know I have no fucking objections to that. Where's my boy anyway?"

"With Jake, I believe." Kankri light up suddenly as he turned to his brother, resting his free hand on Karkat's arm wrapped with his. "He's so excited to see you and John again. He dressed up all nice and handsome. I was going to bring him with me in my search for you but, well," he smiled shyly, "I wanted a little brother time."

Karkat snorted faintly. "Well, John's with Casey. He nearly had a breakdown last night over all of this and he wasn't that much better this morning. He's... not ready to give her up, I guess. Not that he's really giving her up."

"It's a big deal for a father to give away his daughter."

"I know."

"It's a big deal for both fathers." Kankri pointed out, glancing at Karkat from the corner of his eyes.

"I'm fine."

"Mmm." Kankri lifted his free hand to pap two fingers against a flushed cheek. "Of course you are."

"Shit." Karkat stumbled in his step slightly before straightening up and rubbing over his cheek. "Don't pap me in public, fuck, that's embarrassing."

"Karkat. Are you... _ashamed_  of me?"

"What?" The younger Vantas snapped his head at his brother, scared and concerned only to find Kankri grinning at him with that devilish look in his eyes he'd gained over the past few years. "Ugh." Karkat deflated and let out a heavy sigh. "Why, Kankri? Why a Strider?"

He laughed softly. "I'll admit he has rubbed off on me a bit."

"Maker, fuck, don't say that." Karkat crinkled his nose in a grimace. "That's a mental image I never needed."

"I certainly did not mean it the way you took it!" Kankri couldn't help but laugh at the way his brother fake gagged beside him. "Oh stop you." He slapped Karkat's arm halfheartedly, unable to keep himself from laughing and the grin on Karkat's lips only fueled his amusement.

"Yeah yeah, well, you know I'm not ashamed of you, jeeze. Don't do that to me."

"Of course." Kankri gave Karkat's shoulder a nuzzle in apology.

"So Albion?"

"That is the plan. Considering our families are here for the most part. It seemed like the logical path to take."

"Okay but where in Albion?"

"We are unsure. Dirk is stuck on Oakfield since it is where he grew up and really, the place we came together."

"Oakfield's nice." Karkat nudged his brother. "I mean, you know, I live here."

Kankri chuckled softly. "Yes, I know. It is also close to Alternia. So we will see Eridan and Sollux as often as Cronus' desires."

"Or as often as Kai desires." Karkat pointed out.

"Oh, Karkat, wait till you see her." Kankri's face lit up once again. "She's so beautiful in her purple dress. Like royalty."

"Well, she is. Royalty. Which reminds me, I heard from Eridan that Feferi is coming."

"Oh really? How lovely. I know her and Casey became close with how often the child visited."

"It's going to mean a lot to Casey."

"And you." Kankri glanced up to his brother. "This will be the first time all of us have been together since... it feels like ages ago."

"We're not exactly young, Kankri." Karkat teased softly. "It was a while ago. It's probably been years since I've seen anyone other than you, Cronus, Eridan, Sollux, Gamzee and Tavros. And the last time I saw Gamzee and Tavros was a year ago and you and Cronus months ago. It's a nice occasion for all of us to get together. Something to celebrate."

"It most certainly is." Kankri agreed.

"Kankri!"

The brothers came to a stop at the familiar shout of a name and glanced up just as Jesse made his way down the slope of the hill. He slipped past a few people, giving them apologetic smiles even though his bright eyes were focused fully on Kankri. Kankri's smile was radiant in return and he pulled away from Karkat just in time to capture Jesse in a warm hug.

"Jesse, how nice to see you."

The blond nuzzled against Kankri's hair, avoiding a more sensitive than normal horn as he squeezed the troll in his arms. "I missed you."

"I missed you too." Kankri's hands were gentle as they slid over Jesse's back in a soothing motion.

"Dave said you're staying." Jesse spoke as he pulled away slightly to met garnet. "Is it true?"

"It is." Kankri gave him a tender smile, lifting a hand to brush over his cheek. "We hope to settle around here."

Jeese's face brightened, his grin spreading from ear to ear as he bounced on his heels. "Promise?"

"I promise." He hummed. "Gives you plenty of time to tell me about all the lovelies you've been courting in my absence."

"Oh fuck, don't encourage him, Kankri." Karkat groaned, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Your boy has skills, Karkat." Kankri gave Jesse's cheek a pat before they pulled away from each other. "And he is a man now. It's healthy for him to explore his options."

"Yeah." Jesse stood up a little straighter, turning his eyes to Karkat. "What Kankri said."

Karkat rolled his eyes. "The last time you 'explored your options' Gamzee had to step in."

Jesse withered a bit at the reminder. "He's grown." Kankri pointed out again. "He learns from his mistakes, as we all do."

"Must you encourage him, Kankri? Seriously?"

"I see nothing wrong with his situation."

"He moved in with four trolls who all want to bang him." Karkat heaved a sigh, rubbing a hand over his face.

"Sounds like a party to me." Dirk's voice only made Karkat grumble more.

"Not you too."

Kankri greeted the hero with a smile as Dirk slipped an arm around his shoulders and planted a soft kiss to his cheek in greeting. Jesse just beamed at the both of them. "As long as it is healthy, I don't see a problem with it." Kankri agreed.

"Kankri does it." Jesse pointed out, causing a bit of tenseness to suddenly form.

"That's different." Karkat ground his teeth, his eyes narrow as he glanced up. "Now is not the time for this conversation."

"Right." Jesse stiffened and glanced away quickly, defeated.

"Shit." Karkat clenched his jaw before letting out a soft sigh. With a glance to Kankri he quickly approached Jesse, grabbed the boy's arm and pulled him to the side. Kankri and Dirk made it bluntly obvious they weren't listening by leaning in close to one another but Karkat didn't pay it much mind. "Please don't look like that, you know I'm just worried." He whispered as he tugged on hem of Jesse's suit jacket.

The blond bit into his lower lip as he glanced to the ground. "You just... seem so unhappy with my life choices."

"I'm not. Shit, okay I am." He admitted, wincing at the sullen look he received. "I'm not unhappy per say, I'm just, worried, Jesse. I'm worried. Those trolls want you for a specific reason and I don't trust any of them worth a shit."

"So trust me." Green glanced up, hopeful.

Karkat narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean?"

"Trust that I won't make the same mistakes again. Trust that I know what I'm doing." Jesse's voice came solid as he grabbed onto Karkat's shoulders. "For as long as I can remember I've had you and Pop as an example. A loving, wonderful example of what I want for the rest of my life. I know what I want. I know what it looks like. Trust that I'll find it on my own in my own way."

"I... Alright." Karkat nodded, relenting just enough to see his little boy smile again. "But please, do not hesitate to let me know if anything is wrong."

"Okay. And, it's not like I moved across the country. I'm right there." He tossed a look to a rather nice little cottage across the way from the one John and Karkat called home.

"Guess John isn't the only one with letting go issues." Karkat mumbled, the apples of his cheeks flushing as he glanced away.

"I love that you care so much." Jesse gave his dad a kiss on the cheek, his smile happier now that they had managed to talk it out. They both knew the discussion wasn't over. It would never be over really but they'd reached a compromise and that was enough for the both of them. "Okay, I have to go back to seating people." With a jolt in his step Jesse pulled away to head back to the hill. "See you soon!" He gave Kankri a wink that was returned with a little wave before he jogged up the hill.

"Did he really move into a house with four trolls?" Kankri quickly approached Karkat after Jesse was out of sight, his eyes wide and his cheeks flushed.

"Yeah." Karkat's shoulders heaved. "And all four want to be in some quadrant with him."

"Does he... do quadrants?"

"No. But who knows what they're capable of convincing him."

"He's a tough kid." Dirk pointed out, slipping his arm around Kankri's shoulders once more. "He'll work it out."

"Just you wait until Dean's of age and you have to worry about all the trolls after his ass." Karkat snapped softly, giving Dirk a good once over. Even he was dressed up rather nicely.

"Strider's are pretty used to that."

Kankri giggled faintly behind his hand. "Of course they are."

"Hmm? You saying trolls don't want this ass? Because I know of two trolls in particular that do." Dirk teased, his golden orange eyes free for the world to see, including his long faded scar.

Kankri's face flushed darkly as he swatted at Dirk's chest. "Don't you start."

"Yes, please, don't. Gross." Karkat sighed. "I sure didn't miss your gross flirting with my brother."

"Not used to it by now?" Dirk shrugged, flashing Karkat a devilish smirk. "Should get there."

"Where is Dean, by the way?" Kankri interrupted, peering around Karkat to see up the hill.

"With Dave. Something about super secret Strider business that I'm apparently not apart of."

"You sound so wounded." Karkat breathed a laugh of amusement.

"And Cronus?"

"Keeping an eye on Kai and Terra with Jade. We're all sitting together too. Well, except for you." Dirk glanced down at his questioning troll. "You get to sit with the parents of the bride."

"Do I?" Kankri perked up, glancing at Karkat.

"Yeah, it was Annabelle's idea. Jesse's going to walk you there with the rest of us."

"Oh." Kankri's smile was stunning and with the way Dirk looked at him, it was obvious to see how much they cared for each other. "How lovely."

"Mhm. I'm going to go find Jake. I'll see you later babe." When Dirk leaned down for a kiss, Kankri was already prepared with his head tilted back just ever so slightly. Karkat rolled his eyes and glanced away, though the smile tugging at his lips was hard to hide. Of course he was happy for his brother. How could he not be.

Dirk gave Karkat a nod before he went up the hill in search of the raven haired, green-eyed hero. Kankri moved to his brother's side, wrapping his fingers around his wrist in a way that made Karkat's chest warm.

"It's really nice to have everyone together again."

Karkat nodded in agreement. "I can see Gamzee's obnoxious horns from here." He pointed out, crimson scanning over the top of the hill they could manage to see. Sure enough there was Gamzee's horns poking into the sky and he was bound to be with their other trolls friends. Karkat was excited to greet them, to thank them for coming. But there were traditions to uphold and really the entire process of human marriage was just bizarre to the trolls. Even when Karkat had gone through with it himself, it had been strange. There were certain steps to take and traditions to uphold. Trolls didn't really have marriage like humans, so in a way, it was a nice change for them.

Karkat's free hand curled around the necklace dangling from his neck, the jewel warm and solid in his palm; a constant reminder of the commitment he had made to John and would forever uphold. And now, their little girl was about to make the same commitment. The stinging in the corner of his eyes made him hiss and he quickly glanced to the bit of ocean he could see peaking around a few cottages.

"If I cry, don't you dare tell John."

Kankri smiled softly as he leaned closer to his brother. "I won't."

"Karkat, Kankri," The soft feminine voice brought their attention behind them, "You both look so handsome."

Annabelle approached them with a wide smile on her aging yet still pretty face. The dress she wore was another Kanaya special, flowy and a light green that fit her well. Her hair was pinned up with flowers much like Casey would do when she was young and it made both trolls smile.

"You look beautiful, Annabelle." Kankri stepped forward to take her offered hands and planted a kiss to her awaiting cheek. "As always."

"You flatter me." She laughed softly. "Since none of you age, it makes me real jealous you know." She gave Kankri's cheek a kiss as well. "Especially since you're glowing, oh dear, are you again?" Her eyes widened as she looked Kankri over.

"I might be." He answered, biting into his lower lip to keep his smile at bay.

"Oh, congratulations." Annabelle grinned and squeezed Kankri's hands. "We're always happy to have another member of the family."

Karkat glanced at the man lingering behind Annabelle quietly with a soft smile on his face. "Chuck." He scooted up to the farmer and gave his arm a pat. "Looking good."

Chuck gave Karkat a nod and a smile. "You too."

"You haven't met Kankri yet have you, dear?" Annabelle grabbed onto the man's arm gently and pulled him toward them. "Kankri this is Chuck, Chuck this is Kankri, a very dear friend and Karkat's brother."

Kankri stood up a little straighter and his face took on a bit of a serious expression as he held a hand out to the farmer. "Nice to meet you, Chuck."

"You too, Kankri." The man grasped Kankri's hand in a firm shake and though he was a bit rough, as Chuck was with everything, his smile was warm. "Nice to finally met ya. Heard all kinds of things about ya from Anna."

"Oh really?" Garnet flashed with something that made Karkat want to snort. "I have yet to hear about you, but I'm sure I certainly will seeing as we will hopefully be living around here soon."

"You're moving here?" Annabelle gasped. "Really?"

"We hope to."

"Oh! That's so lovely!"

"Hear that Chuck." Karkat stepped up beside the man and nudged his side. "Told you John and I weren't the ones you needed to impress."

"Got a feelin' this is gonna be harder." Chuck said with a soft laugh though it was obvious he was a little worried.

"Kankri's a dear, don't you worry darling." Annabelle assured the man before turning back to the troll. "Please, while we have the time, tell me all about your time in Aurora!" Kankri gave Chuck a glance before he slipped his arm with Annabelle's and stepped away so the two of them could chat alone.

"Kankri's more bark than bite." Karkat assured the man. "Once he sees in you what I see, you'll be fine."

"Are ya complimenting me, Karkat?" Chuck laughed, scratching at the beard on his chin. "Never thought I'd see the day."

"Shut it."

The smirk playing on the man's face was promptly ignored. "So guess we just stand around here until it's time to do the walking thing."

"Yeah. Guess so." Karkat glanced up to the sky. "Shouldn't be much longer."

"Have ya seen her?"

"No. She won't let me."

"She wouldn't let Anna see her either. Think she wants to surprise her."

"Probably. John's with her. I know that much."

"Lucky man."

Karkat glanced at Chuck. "Dathan's the lucky one."

"That he is. Anna told me about how when Casey was a youngin' all the boys in the village would chase after her and now, she's marrying a troll." He chuckled softly. "He's a good man."

"He's decent." Karkat shrugged.

"You disapprove?" Chuck perked a brow at him.

"Not at all. Just, cautious. Never too sure of how well a troll can work in a one quadrant relationship. But, Kankri and Cronus are doing it, so, we'll see."

"I'm still learnin' bout all the troll stuff but that man loves her wholeheartedly, I know that much."

"Yeah. He does." Karkat agreed, a smile tugging at his lips.

"You and John still plannin' that trip to Alternia?" Chuck asked conversationally.

"We were going to go to Aurora first but now that Kankri and his family are back for a while, possibly for good, I'm not sure what we're going to do. But, I know John wants to travel. Show me around Albion more now that Casey's going to be married and Jesse's moved out."

"Now that ya'll are kids free, its the perfect time to do that kind of stuff."

"That's what we want really. We're family oriented, but time alone is... nice."

Chuck gave a knowing smile. "Alone time sure is nice."

"Perv." Karkat gave a roll of his eyes even as a flush curled to his cheeks and he nudged Chuck in the side.

By the time Jesse came back down the slope of the hill, the sun was high in the sky and everyone was ready to take their seats. He didn't hesitate to take Kankri's hand and lead him back up the hill while Annabelle and Chuck followed behind. Karkat lingered around the bottom of the hill for a moment or so longer, taking deep breaths before he moved to follow them up the hill.

The leaves of the golden oak were just starting to change color thanks to the beginning of fall and the entire scene was beautiful as Karkat paused to take it all in. His eyes scanned over the benches, recognizing most of the Oakfield villagers and the few trolls he didn't recognize he was sure belonged to Dathan's side of the family. The benches were all filled up and when he spotted Eridan and Sollux sitting with Feferi and Aradia he sent them a wave that was happily returned. He had plenty of time to converse with them after the wedding but for now, he had to find his seat.

After pointing Kankri in the right direction, Jesse came up to Karkat and took his hand with a smile. The troll returned it softly and allowed the blond to lead him down the aisle, passing the chatting wedding patrons along the way. Karkat was granted front row access, along with Kankri, Annabelle and Chuck. Sitting directly behind them, happened to be all the heroes Karkat knew very well along with Cronus.

Cronus sat at the end, nearest to the aisle and he was dressed similarly to Kankri, with nice pants and a dark sweater. He was petting the hair of the pretty little seadweller beside him who barely seemed to be paying attention to it. Kai Vantas was exactly what anyone would expect a child to look like between Kankri and Cronus. Her hair was long, curling down her back much like Feferi's with her cute little faded red fins poking out. The black strands were decorated with all kinds of purple and red jewels while a sparkling silver band kept most of her hair away from her face. Kankri had been right, Karkat thought. Her sheer purple dress was flowing, with sleeves to her elbows and fit her perfectly. She had all the right angles of a seadweller but it was obvious she took after Kankri more. Her garnet eyes were so intense that even Karkat sometimes felt intimated when they were on him. Her horns were a pleasant combination of her parents, short and round like Kankri's but with a slight wave just at the tip.

Her attention was drawn to the pretty blonde at her side as the two of them leaned into one another, chatting about something. Terra Strider's hair was about as long as Kai's, and her mother's, and though it was pulled back in a bunch of braids, a few blond strands fell around her pretty face. Her eyes were the same vibrant green as her mother's though the smirk that seemed to linger around her lips was 100% Dave. Her dress was just as pretty as Kai's in a light pink color that really brought out the color of her naturally tanned skin.

Beside Terra sat Jake who had Karkat's favorite little boy in his lap. Then, beside them were Dirk and Dean, a cute little three year old who looked exactly like Kankri. Garnet eyes, round horns and chubby cheeks. Though, his personality was all Dirk without a doubt.

Beside Dirk and Dean sat Roxy and Jane, then Jade and Dave and finally Rose and Kanaya.

Karkat took a notice of Adairis and Asher behind Dirk and Jake, the banshee making it bluntly obvious that he wanted to hold Dean in his lap and Dirk was reluctant to let go.

His family had grown so much and there wasn't a thing about it that Karkat would change. He gave Jesse a smile when the boy led him to the bench Kankri sat on and he joined his brother. Jesse gave his dad's kiss a cheek before he wondered off to do whatever he had been told to do and Kankri's hand slipped into his as they made room for John at the end for when the hero showed up.

"Karkat." Jake's voice was light and Karkat twisted around to greet the hero with a smile before his attention was quickly drawn to the cute little troll staring at him with bright crimson eyes. Jake's smile was kind as he cradled the boy in his lap. "I believe he wants to say hi."

Karkat's smile grew till his fangs poked out and he leaned a bit on a giggling Kankri to peer closer. "Wanna sit with me, Jean?"

Crimson glanced between Jake and Kankri before the boy easily slipped out of his father's lap and reached for Karkat. The Vantas brothers made room between them so Karkat could pull Jean between them. The troll quickly crawled into Karkat's lap and greeted him with a hug around his neck. Karkat's heart swelled and he quickly wrapped his arms around the small frame, flushing at the knowing smile Kankri sent him.

"What's with you, hm? Shy all of a sudden?" Karkat teased lightly as he settled the four year old in his lap. Claws dug into wavy black hair to pet gently as Jean nuzzled slightly into his chest.

"I missed you, Kay-Kay." The boy mumbled softly, his grey cheeks flushed red.

"I missed you too, kid."

"Absolutely adorable, really." Kankri commented softly, giving his son a light pet on the head between his short round horns.

As far as Karkat was concerned, Jean was the perfect blend between Jake and Kankri. If anything, he was like a blend of John and Karkat and though the troll would probably never admit it aloud, that was probably why he loved the little troll so much. His smile was Jake's, the shape of his eyes were Jake's, the nose of Kankri's, and his personality was a calm mix of the two.

"You'll have to come stay with me and John while you're here." Karkat spoke softly.

"Really?" Crimson lit up as Jean glanced up at him, his expression hopeful before he glanced to Kankri.

"I think that's a lovely idea." Kankri said with a smile, knowing Jake and the others would not mind in the least.

"You think Dirk will let Adairis have Dean?" Karkat asked as he glanced over his shoulder, snorting at the way Dean was leaning over Dirk's shoulder so he could play with Adairis' hair.

"Hmm." Kankri glanced behind them as well, a warm smile curling to his lips at the scene. He gave Dirk a reassuring smile when the blond glanced at him. "We're still working on that."

A soft tune suddenly started floating through the air and the soft chatting quieted down as everyone turned to see Dathan come down the aisle with the Temple of Light monk that would be officiating for them. Dathan was a seadweller, the same violet as the Amporas and he looked rather handsome in the form-fitting black outfit Kanaya and Porrim had made him. He walked a little stiffly, as a high-blood was typical to do but Karkat was more than sure it was from nerves.

The tune in the air changed into something a bit more dramatic and as the villagers started to stand, everyone followed suit. Karkat shifted Jean to rest on his hip as he held the troll and turned his attention to the end of the aisle. It was only a few seconds later when John and Casey came over the hill and the silence that fell over everyone was filled with the soft tune from the lute player.

Casey was absolutely stunning. Kanaya and Porrim had spent months upon months on her look and they had succeeded perfectly.

Her dress was a bright kilo-white and fit her curvy frame flatteringly. Most of it was silk with a lace overlay and sleeves that came just to the curve of her elbow with only lace so her skin could be seen through. The neckline was flattering, showing off the elegant curve of her shoulders and collar bone. Her recently cut short blonde hair was sparkling with a few clear jewels and the veil that fell from the crown of her head trailed on the ground behind her as she walked. Her bright blue eyes were sparkling with happiness and the smile on her face was the most amazing thing Karkat had ever seen. She looked like an angel walking down the aisle toward them and with a quick glance to Dathan, Karkat knew the troll thought the exact same thing.

John was beaming beside Casey, her arm linked with his as he walked her down the aisle to the slow beat of the tune. He was grinning from ear to ear showing all his pearly white teeth and though his eyes were a little red and puffy from the crying he had previously done, he looked as happy as the day Karkat agreed to marry him.

Two angels walked down the aisle and without a doubt Karkat knew that he and Dathan both agreed on one thing. They were lucky to call those angels theirs and it was in that moment Karkat felt the stinging in his eyes but it was too late to stop it. He let out a soft curse that drew Jean's attention as a tear slipped down his cheek. Kankri was there with a soft smile, dabbing the wetness away from Karkat's eyes with a cloth all while making it seem like he was doing something to Jean so no one would assume the troll was crying.

When Casey and John reached the end of the aisle and Dathan stepped forward, his eyes glossy and his lips quivering just slightly, Casey was still beaming. Slowly, John gave Dathan her hand before she planted a kiss to the hero's cheek. She whispered something to him that no one else could hear, making his smile falter before he stepped away so she could join her soon-to-be husband. John shuffled over to Karkat with his eyes locked on the ground and when he was close enough, Karkat wrapped his arm around John's back and pulled the hero beside him. He gave a tanned cheek a kiss that John smiled tenderly at while nuzzling into the troll's cheek and giving Jean's head a greeting pat.

"Please, be seated." The monk's voice called out gently as the lute tune faded away with a warm note.

There was a bit of shuffling as everyone took their seats and Karkat kept his arm around John's back as they sat. The hero leaned into the warmth the troll offered and John chose not to comment on the puffy redness around Karkat's eyes. He just rested a hand on Karkat's thigh as he watched his little girl grow up right before his very eyes.

* * *

It seemed to all happen so fast. One minute his little girl was just his little girl and the next she was the wife of a kind young troll. Karkat had been right, of course. John wasn't ready to let her go but really, he wasn't letting her go. He was watching her grow and be her own person. And he loved who she had become. Strong-willed, independent, kind and genuine. Dathan was not the type to smother that either. He supported her and only wanted to watch her grow as well. That was what had convinced John it was okay to let her go.

And also, after all, he found it exceptionally hard to say no to such a bright happy smile.

By the time the reception was in full swing, with couples dancing and dinner long since served, John was finally able to take a moment to breathe. The night air was cool, with the half-moon high in the sky and it felt nice against his flushed skin as he leaned back against the Sandgoose. Music could be heard flowing out from the building and laughter filled the air. It was a time of celebration and everyone was happy to do so.

John breathed in the night air as his head tilted back against the wall and his eyes slipped shut. He had a little ale in him but it made his mind only a bit fuzzy. He was happy to see all his family in one spot for such a great occasion and even happier to see Casey so happy. He hoped they stayed happy. He hoped they enjoyed their lives together for as long as possible because he couldn't imagine a better way to live life than with the one you love.

Speaking of.

"As much as I love you watching me, I'd rather you get over here and kiss me like you want to." John spoke softly, peeking one eye to meet crimson.

Karkat rolled his eyes and pulled himself around the entrance of the Sandgoose to approach his hero. "You looked like you needed a moment alone."

"Mmm." John reached out with one arm once Karkat was within reach and pulled the troll against his chest. "Like I ever need a moment alone from you."

The troll flushed lightly as he leaned into John's chest, planting his chin on the hero's sternum so he could peer into his eyes. "How are you feeling?"

"Good." John moved to wrap both arms around Karkat's shoulders. "Pretty damn good."

The troll let out a soft purr as his claws caught in the fabric around John's waist. "It was beautiful."

"It was."

"She's beautiful."

"She is."

Karkat's lips curled up slightly. "So are you."

John raised an eyebrow. "You've been drinking."

The troll scoffed with a roll of his eyes. "Everyone's been drinking. It's a celebration. Doesn't make you any less beautiful."

Color flushed along John's nose as he ran a hand down the curve of Karkat's back. "You too." He murmured as he shifted a hand to brush thick strands of black away from Karkat's flushed cheek. "Always."

Karkat's nose twitched as his eyelids dropped half-mast. "Kiss me."

As if the troll even had to ask. John tilted his head just right, closing the small distance between their lips and sending a spike of warmth through his body. No matter how many times they did it, no matter how old they were, John would never tire of the feel of those warm plump lips against his own. He let out a puff of air through his nose and tightened the hold he had around Karkat's shoulders while his hand cupped the troll's cheek delicately.

Karkat shifted on his feet, deepening the kiss just slightly and sending sparks along John's skin. The hero couldn't help but smile as those claws slipped their way up his chest and over his cheeks. They buried in his hair, got a nice grip and pulled him down so Karkat could control the angle and pressure of the kiss. John didn't mind; he would never mind. Karkat's lips were warm, wet, and solid against his own, pressing and catching in all the right places that made his breath come a bit harder.

They pulled apart after only a moment with their breath mingling as Karkat brushed his nose along John's jaw, his crimson jewels never leaving vibrant blue. They shared a loving smile as Karkat's hands pet through John's hair gently and everything just seemed right with the world at that very moment.

Music and laughter floated out of the open windows and doors of The Sandgoose, filling the cool autumn air with warmth and happiness. The town was celebrating. Love was something to celebrate and it was contagious. The warm, all-consuming feeling was something people spent their entire lives trying to find and John had been lucky enough to have it with him always.

There was a soft crunch behind them and John glanced up as Karkat moved to bury his face in the slope of John's throat. The troll that approached was unfamiliar to John, especially in the moonlight but that wasn't uncommon any longer. Since Feferi took the throne, Albion and Alternia had almost become one, with Trolls spilling into the vast human land without any resistance. The people of Albion accepted them without fault and it seemed the trolls had needed that more than they probably ever realized.

For a moment, John wondered if the troll was a part of Dathan's side of the family but his train of thought derailed when soft wet lips started planting soft kisses along his pulse. He bit into his lower lip and glanced away to the sky, his fingers digging into Karkat's hips as the troll started to lap at the sensitive skin. The moon was so bright and the stars covered the sky like beautiful freckles, making patterns that one could follow if they so choose to.

The new troll, who bore curled horns that were the same length of Karkat's and pointed at the tip, paused slightly in his step when he noticed John and Karkat, bringing the hero's attention back down. John tensed slightly at the bright ruby eyes that met his but then the troll was bowing his head slightly in a greeting before hurrying past into The Sandgoose.

Karkat let out a faint purr, his warm breath sending shivers over John's skin. "All night, and you haven't danced with me once."

John's breath caught in his throat, his heart hammering in his chest. "I'm free now."

"Mmm." He pulled back slightly, flashing glowing crimson before dipping back in to lay the flat of his tongue over John's jumping pulse. "Sure your husband won't mind?"

A sly smile curled to the hero's lips. "Mm, I'm not sure. He is the jealous type. I wouldn't want you to end up hurt."

"I think I could take him." Karkat mused as his hands slipped over John's jaw, hooking his thumbs under it while his claws curled around the hero's ears. "If I'm worth it."

Their eyes met and the smirk resting on Karkat's lips made John's stomach drop just a bit lower. "You are more than worth it." He mumbled as he leaned closer, brushing their noses together as his arms curled around Karkat's waist to pull their bodies together. "Worth everything. All of it." Karkat's smirk melted into one of those rare smiles as John started to sway them from side to side. Not really dancing but it didn't matter to either of them.

"Worth enough to take home with you?" The troll's voice was smooth like silk and deep; that tone that never lied to John about what he wanted.

John licked his lips as they curled up into a smirk and he nuzzled their noses together. "I doubt they'll miss us."

"Take me home." Karkat breathed out as he lifted just enough to close the distance between them, pressing their lips together to send heat along every nerve in John's body.

"Ehem." The sound of someone clearing their throat made Karkat groan ever so slightly and flash a glare at whoever dared to interrupt them. He blinked in slight surprise to see Jesse standing there with the troll that had passed by them only a moment before.

Jesse glanced between his parents, a knowing smirk on his lips as he rolled his eyes. The troll to his left kept a few steps back and respectfully had his eyes focused on the sky. With a bit of effort, John and Karkat pulled away from one another and Karkat smoothed out his clothes as he approached his son.

"I didn't want to interrupt but I wanted to say goodnight." Jesse glanced between his parents and tried to hold back laughter at the way John tried to hid his flushed face.

"Leaving already?" Karkat asked, reaching forward to tug the rest of Jesse's messy bow-tie free.

"Yeah, It's late. Pretty sure Casey plans on staying till morning. I already said goodnight to her." He ran a hand through his loose shoulder length hair and brought attention to his mostly unbuttoned shirt and lack of shoes.

Karkat perked a brow at him as John stepped up beside them, slipping his arm around Karkat's shoulders and flashing the unnamed troll a greeting smile. "And this is?" Karkat commented, nodding his head in the trolls direction.

Jesse's eyes widened slightly as he turned to the troll and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, bringing him a bit closer. "This, um, this is Nero."

For the first time, Karkat was greeted with those vibrant ruby eyes and something deep in his stomach sank. Nero bowed his head in a greeting, the moonlight glistening off his horns. He was taller than Jesse but not by much and with the way the blond flushed ever so slightly, Karkat's breath caught in his throat.

"It's nice to meet you." John offered a warm smile. "I'm John, and this is Karkat. You're one of Jesse's roommates?"

"Ah, No." Jesse cut in, flashing Nero a glance that the troll nodded at. "He's a friend of one of my roommates."

"You're... mutant." The words tumbled from Karkat's lips like rocks and it was obvious now was not the time to point out the obvious but, well, he couldn't help it. Another mutant? That appeared to be around his age, maybe even more. Though trolls had come out of hiding since Feferi took the throne and mix-bloods were being born left and right, Karkat had been sure he and Kankri were the only mutants from before that time.

"Jeeze, Dad, what if he's sensitive about it?" Jesse teased, a smile curling to his lips.

"I. Right. Sorry." He quickly apologized and glanced between his son and Nero.

"Nah, it's fine." Jesse assured, his eyes sparkling as he gave Nero's forearm a gentle pat. "Yeah, he's a mutant. I was planning to introduce you to him soon. Figured you two, and Kankri, could talk about a lot of things. But right now, it's late and we're tired and weren't you and Pop going to go home?"

"That's right." John cut in with a smile, squeezing Karkat's shoulder. "We were."

Jesse nodded. "Have a great night." He leaned forward and quickly gave Karkat's cheek a kiss before knocking his knuckles with John's. "See you tomorrow."

"Goodnight, Jesse. Nice to meet you Nero." John bowed his head at the troll who returned the gesture.

"Night!" Jesse quickly wrapped his fingers around Nero's wrist and with a gentle tug the two were heading off down the path to go home.

"He..."

"Karkat."

"But he..." The troll inhaled sharply and turned on John with wide crimson eyes. "He  _lied_ to me."

John furrowed his brow. "Who did?"

"Jesse."

"How?"

"He told me... He promised that he wasn't moving in with any of the trolls because he wanted to be in quadrants with them." Heat flared up Karkat's neck as his lips pulled back in a snarl. "He told me he wasn't interested in any of his roommates."

"Ah, he didn't lie, Karkat." John's smile was slightly amused as he grabbed onto both Karkat's shoulders. "Nero is not his roommate."

Karkat's shoulders relaxed slightly as he peered into beautiful blue. "He's a mutant."

"He is."

"My age."

"Probably."

Karkat took a few deep breaths before he shrugged John's hands off his shoulders and shook his head. "I wish I was surprised."

John chuckled softly. "Well, he does take after me sometimes."

"Shush." Karkat rolled his eyes as he knocked his fist against John's side. "Weren't you supposed to be taking me home?"

"Oh! Right." John grinned as he lurched forward, scooped Karkat up in his arms and pushed off the ground into the air.

"Ah! What the ever-loving fuck do you think you're doing?" Karkat gasped and as always, there was the split second where he clung just a bit tighter to John before relaxing into his hold, trusting the hero completely as they flew slowly through the sky.

"Taking you home." John flashed him a grin as he adjusted his hold on the troll, slipping his hand over a perk ass that made Karkat's cheeks flush even darker.

"Don't grope me in the air, fuckface." Karkat's claws dug into John's shirt, tugging the hero close as mischief flashed in his eyes. "You might regret the consequences."

John perked a challenging brow. "Is that so?"

"Mhm." The troll's lips curled upwards in a warm, loving smile that John loved completely before the distance was closed between them and their lips melded together.

The moon reflected off the ocean in the distance and while most of Oakfield was alight in celebration, the sky was dark, filled with stars. No one noticed the two floating the sky and if they had, they would have seen what true love was always meant to be. But, they didn't see and that was just fine. Because even the hero and his troll loved their little piece of privacy in the sky.

There was no place else they would rather be and the night had only just begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've spent over a year of my life on this. I put so much time, effort, sanity, work, and love into this. And now, we come to a close. There's so much I could say. But at the end of it all, I just want to thank you all. Every single one of you that has stuck with me since the beginning. Every single one that may have came in during the middle and stuck around. Every one that has only taken a chance on this monster once it was completed. A huge loving thank you to every single person who took the time and effort to read this monster of a fic. I could ever thank any of you enough. I could never explain how much it means to me. 
> 
> This started with the simple idea of having Karkat try to shove John in every quadrant until he found one he could fit in and it's grown into this massive world with lots of characters and side stories that have the potential to become something huge.
> 
> This epilogue could have been so much more. But, I thought it best to keep it simple. Give a little update and show that no matter what, John and Karkat will always love one another because as we all know, their love was written in the stars. I did happen to write more pieces to go along with this so if you're interested in them, check out my [tumblr](http://the-orgasmic-seke.tumblr.com/) if you'd like. I hope to post them relatively soon after I edit them a bit. 
> 
> To clarify. Yes, Kankri Cronus Dirk and Jake are in a polyamory relationship. Yes, they have three children with another on the way. Yes, other troll pairings have children as well. Yes Dave and Jade had a daughter. Their family has grown so much and it will continue to do so. 
> 
> As for any future side stories to go with this, like say John and Karkat's first time or the true story between how Kankri and Dirk met, well, you might get those if you stick around for a while. With the ending of this story, comes my large break from writing JohnKat. It's been fun and amazing, and this break is not permanent, but it is well needed. You'll see me around in the future I'm sure in the JohnKat fandom but until then, it's been amazing guys, thank you so much. 
> 
> Please do let me know what you thought. If you've never commented before, please do so now! If you've never left a kudo, it would be much appreciated if you did now. Please, share this story if you would care to do so. Please share with me your thoughts and feelings about it all in a comment. I'll be sure to reply. If you're reading this and it's been months, or even years since it's been finished, please, don't hesitate to still leave a kudo or a comment. Because even then, they will mean the world to me. 
> 
> Thank you again. 
> 
> See you around space cowboy.
> 
> ~Addy~


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